Tahu Vs. Tahu: Vultraz's Diner

[Voltex]

Tahu vs. Tahu: Vultraz’s DinerThe Revenge of VultrazChapter 1 – One Year iBrow Comedy ProductionsThe Bedroom: The Matoran Vultraz was depressed. This came from lack of a real job, to put it bluntly; his one real hit had faded away with the surge of a civil war a year ago, and now he was gone for good.Dust in the wind.Since then, he’d taken to roaming the halls of the house in a cloud of assorted emotions; anger, despair, depression, and so on. However, it was during a tantrum in the closet, raging at the vacuum, that he realized something:Power could be his again. After all, what was mightier than the Plastic Spoon? There did seem to be a lack of any in the house (for obvious reasons; who would have dozens of the most powerful weapon of the universe in their home?) but he was sure he knew where to find one. The question was- how?“JALLER! METUS!” he bellowed.A few seconds later a Ta-Matoran on a Gukko bird could be seen speeding down towards him like a bullet, drilling through the air. Vultraz screamed and ran in the opposite direction, colliding with the approaching Metus painfully.“Ouch.” Metus muttered, somewhat unnecessarily. “That hurt.”Jaller landed the Gukko smoothly, glancing over at them.“What are you guys doing?” he questioned. “Also, there’s an arena match going on in the Kitchen. Tarix and Strakk versus Thok and Vezok- I’m missing it right now.”“Those arena matches are dumb.” Vultraz muttered, standing to his feet with the help of Metus’ head. “Everything about this comedy is dumb.”“I find Tahu vs. Tahu to be an enjoyable experience, myself.” Jaller replied. “You would.” Metus snorted, dusting himself off. “You got a free ride out of it. We got nothing.”“Nobody else got anything.” Vultraz responded. “Well, I guess Takua got a crab to ride, but he kinda lost any sanity remaining in the process... wait a minute.”“Vezon?” Metus guessed, nodding. “I understand. Even he got something- brains, two of him, and two ferocious beasts under his control.”“Precisely.” Vultraz agreed. “This place isn’t for us. In Vultraz’s Diner, I could fight ALMIGHTY one on one and nearly win. Here, he’d blow me apart.”Jaller sighed from above.“What do you want me to do about it?” he asked.“You’re giving us a ride to the cupboard under the stairs.” Vultraz told him. “We’re going to find my Plastic Spoon.”Jaller rolled his eyes.“You can’t honestly believe it’s here.” He complained. “You made us search for a week before.”“I have a feeling this time.” Vultraz retorted, climbing onto the Gukko with Metus right behind. “I know it’s there.”“Very well.” Jaller sighed, pulling up from the ground. “Let’s try and make this quick. I don’t want anybody to notice that we’re gone.”Meanwhile, the Kitchen....“And with the surrender of Vezok, Strakk and Tarix take the win!” Avak boomed from his special booth. “What a fight that was, eh Meltdown?”“Yes, a fight to remember for sure.” Meltdown agreed from beside him. “Everyone thought Strakk and Tarix were lost when the Piraka managed to blind them with their eyebeams- it was some very exceptional defensive work.”“Anyway,” Avak began, “Our next combatants are none other than Tahu Mata and Tahu Stars themselves, in the final battle of this Tournament celebration for one year of Tahu vs. Tahu!”“And what a year it’s been!” Meltdown replied. “A civil war, tournaments, time travelling, six month forum downtime ARGH I HATE THAT, invasion, and more! Let’s hope this next year is just as exciting!”“And now, the fight you’ve all been waiting for!” Avak announced. “OUR FINAL TWO FIGHTERS- GIVE YOUR APPLAUSE TO TAHU MATA AND TAHU STARS!!”Down in the Arena:“So, how’s everything going?” Tahu Stars asked casually as he and Tahu Mata shook hands.“Things are going pretty good.” Tahu Mata replied as they did the customary bro-hug. “Planning a big party for the next few days; it’s gonna be busy.”Tahu Stars cringed. “You’re not still planning to have me in the chocolate dunk tank, are you?”“Of course I am!” Tahu Mata grinned. “People are gonna love it!”“I’m not.” Tahu Stars frowned, backing away and pulling his sword out. “Just for that, I’m gonna do my best to beat you- and you’ll notice I’m wearing my lucky gold armour today.”Tahu Mata sighed, tossing away his red mask and placing on his own gold mask.“Still not as good as me.” Tahu Stars told him. “You actually look kinda ridiculous, but whatever. Let’s start this thing.”“Please, let’s.”The two Tahu sets charged at each other, their swords clanging together somehow. The crowd immediately began to grow wild, cheering for one or the other (some began cheering for both, but then they got eaten and everything was good again).“Looks like a fairly traditional fight so far.” Avak observed. “And somehow, that just feels right. It even relaxes my back!”“Uh, no.” Piruk muttered from behind him. “That’s me. You ordered me to give you a backrub 24/7 or you’d kill me.”“Ah, right.” Avak nodded. “Right. Continue on!”Meanwhile, in the Cupboard Under the Stairs....“Stupid comedy is celebrating being one year old.” Vultraz snorted. “We didn’t celebrate being one year old.”“Celebrating being a year old is for losers.” Metus commented, before noticing the scared looks on the faces of Vultraz and Jaller. “What?”“Trust me Metus.” Vultraz began, shaking his head. “ALMIGHTY can be terrifying, but when you insult iBrow and his practices, you’re tempting something far, far, far, far, FAR worse than ALMIGHTY.”“...you’re kidding, right?”“No.”“Yes you are.”“No.”“Yes.”“No.”“Y-” Metus stopped himself. “Never mind. iBrow, I repent! Forgive me of my trespasses, and forgive those who have- you know what, screw this. iBrow, you suck.”Jaller sucked in a deep breath. Vultraz cowered behind a cobweb that actually hid him pretty well. Until nothing happened, and Metus shrugged.“Guess we’re more lucky than you guys remember.” He said.“No. Trust me, no.” Vultraz shook his head. “We’re gonna pay for this. We’re gonna pay for this... hey! There it is!”Lunging forward, he grabbed the plastic spoon.“Wicked!” he grinned. “I feel so AWESOME right now.”“I feel better.” Jaller announced. “More full.”“I feel like I just drank a whole jug of Eggnog.” Metus sighed. “It feels wonderful....”“Chirp!” the Gukko chirped. “I feel SERIOUSLY COOL now!”“It can talk?” Vultraz asked.“You can talk?!” Jaller exclaimed.“I can talk?!?!” the Gukko cried. “SWEETNESS ITSELF, BRO!”Vultraz muttered something under his breath.“Alright.” He told them. “Let’s go to the Kitchen. It’s time to announce my return.”Back in the Kitchen:Tahu Mata panted a little as he lunged after Tahu Stars, who retreated a couple steps before shoving off of the arena wall and rushing towards him, smacking him in the side with his shield.“Argh....” Tahu Mata groaned.“You... feeling... it... dude?” Tahu Stars attempted to taunt while in between gasps. “Man... I do not... want to know... what... our... final battle... is gonna be like....”“Feel... so... fat....” Tahu Mata whined, staggering towards his opponent and poking him in the eye, causing Tahu Stars to squeal in pain. “So... tired....”Tahu Stars stumbled backwards and landed on his butt; however, he continued to blindly swing his sword around, eventually catching Tahu Mata by the ankles and causing him to land sitting down too.“How... about... a rest?” Tahu Stars asked. “Just... ten... seconds.”“You... got... a deal.” Tahu Mata gasped.They didn’t have ten seconds; suddenly, Avak, Piruk, and Meltdown flew down from their booth and into the stands, squishing several sets beneath them. A new voice now spoke, using the microphone to project his voice to all gathered.“You all know me.” The voice said to them all. “But you also fail to know me. I am Vultraz. Your comedy replaced mine one year ago. Today, I am here to tell you that I have gotten my power back. And with my power, I tell you that this comedy now belongs to me. Welcome to Vultraz’s Diner.”Both the Tahu sets glanced over at each other, Tahu Stars through the eye that wasn’t the size of a grapefruit.“This is bad.” Tahu Mata commented.“Tell me about it.” Tahu Stars groaned. “My eye is bigger than the rest of my body. How am I supposed to get up?”“No, I meant about the fact that a puny little Matoran just took over our comedy and made it completely different.” Tahu Mata responded.“Oh.”Tahu Stars fell silent for a moment.“Well, that doesn’t make me feel dumb at all.” He continued. “[/sarcasm].”To Be Continued.... Your thoughts be?-ibrow

[MetaStriker]

iBrow wins again, folks. With an AMAZING crossover (that actually makes sense )Enough said. THAT. WAS. AMAZING.After seeing To Be Continued... one would think there would be another chapter. Am I right (will this continue)?~TTG~

[Voltex]

iBrow wins again, folks. With an AMAZING crossover (that actually makes sense )Enough said. THAT. WAS. AMAZING.After seeing To Be Continued... one would think there would be another chapter. Am I right (will this continue)?~TTG~

Six chapters in all, plus more if more reasons to celebrate come along. Guess I'll run down the list:

• [*]One year of Tahu vs. Tahu (20th)[*]Three years of me being on BZP (22nd)[*]Christmas Eve and Christmas Day (24th and 25th)[*]Boxing Day (26th)[*]New Year's Eve (31)[*]New Years Day (1)

And then whatever else might come along. Something like 3000 posts might warrant me making a seventh chapter, but I'm not really anywhere near there,so yeah. -ibrow

Edited December 20, 2011 by iBrony

[- JL -]

So.....What?I don't think this fits into TvT Canon.I dun get it.Like all other iBrow comedies.._.....--'

[Voltex]

So.....What?I don't think this fits into TvT Canon.I dun get it.Like all other iBrow comedies.._.....--'

.__.Sadface.But yes, this is actual Tahu vs. Tahu canon. Where exactly it fits in I'll tell you guys once Season 3 ends. However, you don't need 100% prior knowledge of TvT before reading this.I'm not sure what's confusing about it though. That means I am sad. -ibrow

[MT Zehvor]

I kinda have a question about the different comedies in this series.Is it more similar to a Metroid timeline, where they all are canon and all exist in the same world, but don't always relate to each other.Or like a Zelda timeline, where there's multiple timelines and some of the games/comedies are based off of alternate timelines?Regardless, another very good chappy.-MT

[Voltex]

I kinda have a question about the different comedies in this series.Is it more similar to a Metroid timeline, where they all are canon and all exist in the same world, but don't always relate to each other.Or like a Zelda timeline, where there's multiple timelines and some of the games/comedies are based off of alternate timelines?Regardless, another very good chappy.-MT

Hmm... difficult to say. At times, it's a bit of both- with this one, it'd be more like, say, Metroid, but with the not yet re-posted TvT: The Tournament, it'd be more like Zelda.However, there is a reason I'm waiting to announce where this fits into canon; it might be spoilers otherwise.-ibrow

[Voltex]

Tahu vs. Tahu: Vultraz’s DinerThe Revenge of VultrazChapter 2 – Winter WarzoneiBrow Comedy ProductionsThe Basement:Vultraz, Jaller, Metus, Zaktan, and both of the Vezons all sat around a small, crackling fire on Christmas Eve, five days after Vultraz’s announcement of war on Tahu vs. Tahu. The early battles had not gone well; despite Vultraz’s expectations, iBrow had not shown up to aid them, and he’d also gained far less support than he’d planned for.“So...” Jaller said quietly, staring into the flames. “Anybody have a Christmas Carol?”“Don’t even start on that.” Vultraz muttered. “We need to plan- figure out some weaknesses, and perhaps win over more supporters. Find out why iBrow hasn’t arrived yet.”“I’m here now.” A voice announced to them all.Everyone around the fire started, glancing over to where a Turaga stood silently over them all.“It’s quiet out tonight, isn’t it?” iBrow asked casually as he took his seat beside Vultraz. “Christmas Eve... the one night of the year that this house is ever one hundred percent silent.”“Why didn’t you come?” Vultraz questioned. “Two days ago was your anniversary and you didn’t show up. We barely got out of that battle alive.”iBrow glared at him.“It takes awhile to reform when you’re killed, you know.” The Narrator informed him. “It didn’t help that all of your comedies wouldn’t stop collapsing.”“So it’s my fault?” Vultraz exclaimed. “It was ALMIGHTY who killed you, not me.”iBrow shrugged, the flames reflecting off of his eyes.“I’ve also been... busy with other things.” He murmured, standing to his feet again.“What other things?” Vultraz asked, standing up as well.The Narrator glanced at him sadly.“You had a good run Vultraz.” He replied. “You’re still here. Don’t waste it.”“What are you talking about?” Vultraz demanded. “Tell me!”“Your time is over.” iBrow answered. “Tahu vs. Tahu is the comedy people want. They don’t want you. That’s why you should be glad you’re still here at all.”“Oh, that’s rich.” Vultraz snarled, pulling out the Plastic Spoon. “You haven’t had one mention in it yet-you were a star with me.”“I’ve kept out of it on purpose, because with you I lost my powers, got kidnapped, and died!” iBrow snapped, waving his hand and slamming Vultraz into the wall. “I originally came here in peace tonight, to try and make you see sense. Now it appears we’re gonna have to do this the hard way.”“I’m... stronger... then you....” Vultraz gasped from where he struggled against iBrow’s telekinetic grip.“No, you aren’t.” iBrow informed him. “And you never were- that’s another reason why I’m no longer on your side. I had to be down at your level.”A garbled curse could be heard from Vultraz, but iBrow didn’t pay attention; the Kardas Dragon had chomped down on his head and was swinging him in the air; the Vezon that was its master now rode it, murmuring orders to the beast urgently. A second later, iBrow yanked himself out and threw something into the Kardas Dragon’s mouth; as he landed on the ground, both Dragon and rider were blown to pieces.“No! My twin! My brother! How could you kill him like that?” the remaining Vezon cried from atop Fenrakk. “I feel so alone!”iBrow turned towards him and fired what appeared to be a huge sphere of iron- when it hit Vezon & Fenrakk it moulded around them until they were a statue.“Never really tried that before.” iBrow commented as he smashed the statue to bits. “Must say, it is quite impressive, not meaning to brag of course. Definitely be using it again, though.”Jaller and Metus then tackled him, Metus ripping away iBrow’s staff and Jaller grabbing his shield, smacking the Narrator in the head with it. iBrow flung them away angrily, and was about to unleash his fury when Vultraz came from behind, smashing the Plastic Spoon into the back of iBrow’s head.“Herk... bleagh....” iBrow said, collapsing.“Nice try.” Vultraz told him from above. “I know full well you’re not dead, and so do you.”“Fine then, be that way.” iBrow stuck his tongue out, rolling away. “You want me to continue beating you up, I’ll gladly oblige.”iBrow grabbed his staff from the weakened Jaller and rushed towards Vultraz, who stood still with no defence ready. A look of worry appeared on the Narrator’s face, but he continued on anyway; as soon as he was within range, Vultraz swung his arm around, whipping the Plastic Spoon into iBrow’s eye. The Turaga howled in pain and sprawled backwards, collapsing to the floor a second time.“Hope you’ve learned a lesson today.” Vultraz sighed, stepping forward. “I am more powerful than you.”A wave of pure energy slammed into the three Matoran, flinging them all over the basement. When they hit the ground, none of them got up. iBrow, however, did and he surveyed the scene, shaking his head.“I’m sorry it had to come to this, but you forced me too.” He told the unconscious forms. “You never stood a chance anyway. Better for it to end sooner rather than later.”He turned away, preparing to leave, and breathed in.“It’s good to be back.”Meanwhile, the Bedroom:“Alright everyone, calm down.” Tahu Mata called.“Yeah, be quiet!” Tahu Stars added. “We want to speak!”“It’s Christmas Eve, as you’ve all clearly remembered.” Tahu Mata announced once the sets gathered had fallen silent. “So we’d like to sing our annual Christmas Carol now. This year the choices were Silent Night, Jingle Bells, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, and Winter Wonderland.”“Well?” Mantax called. “Which one was picked?”“Yeah, which one did we vote for?” Garan added.“Tell us now, or I beat you up!” Dalu growled.Tahu Mata and Tahu Stars exchanged a glance before shrugging.“Winter Wonderland.” Tahu Stars called out.All seven types of Rahkshi could be seen slumping, muttering about how they wanted the Reindeer to win; the Makuta that were still alive all turned to each other and began whispering about Jingle Bells being better. However, the majority of the smaller sets, Titans, and Toa all seemed pleased with the result. And so they sang:“Sleigh bells ring, are you listening,In the lane, snow is glisteningA beautiful sight,We're happy tonight,Walking in a winter wonderland.Gone away is the bluebird,Here to stay is a new birdHe sings a love song,As we go along,Walking in a winter wonderland.In the meadow we can build a snowman,Then pretend that he is Parson BrownHe'll say: Are you married?We'll say: No man,But you can do the jobWhen you're in town.Later on, we'll conspire,As we dream by the fireTo face unafraid,The plans that we've made,Walking in a winter wonderland.In the meadow we can build a snowman,And pretend that he's a circus clownWe'll have lots of fun with mister snowman,Until the other kids knock him down.When it snows, ain't it thrilling,Though your nose gets a chillingWe'll frolic and play, the Eskimo way,Walking in a winter wonderland.Walking in a winter wonderland,Walking in a winter wonderland.”As the song was finished, the sets all fell silent. And, as it happened, their singing had been so loud that they hadn’t heard anything of the battle occurring below them.The Next Day: Christmas EveningVertak appeared so suddenly in front of Tahu Mata that the startled Toa dropped his glass of Eggnog onto the Kitchen floor. The glass shattered, causing a mass migration up to the Kitchen Table.“What are you doing here?!” Tahu Mata exclaimed.“You’re at war.” Vertak told him. “With a Matoran. Where is he?”“I’m not sure...” Tahu Mata trailed off. “He didn’t show up yesterday or today; I assume he’s been celebrating this holiday with his few allies in the basement.”He hear Vertak utter something under his breath, but had no time to ask; the Matoran was already gone.To Be Continued....Not too much of a "Christmas" theme here exactly, but the plot does thicken! After all, what are the real reasons behind iBrow switching sides? And is Vertak with Tahu vs. Tahu, or against it?You'll find out in Chapter 3!-ibrow

[MT Zehvor]

Jaller and Metus then tackled him, Metus ripping away iBrow’s staff and Jaller grabbing his shield, smacking the Narrator in the head with it. iBrow flung them away angrily, and was about to unleash his fury when Vultraz came from behind, smashing the Plastic Spoon into the back of iBrow’s head.“Herk... bleagh....” iBrow said, collapsing.“Nice try.” Vultraz told him from above. “I know full well you’re not dead, and so do you.”

I have a feeling that half of TvT could be resolved in this way.

As the song was finished, the sets all fell silent. And, as it happened, their singing had been so loud that they hadn’t heard anything of the battle occurring below them.

Turns out they missed the banking crisis, the gulf oil spill, and that whole Thanksgiving thing this way too.

He hear Vertak utter something under his breath, but had no time to ask; the Matoran was already gone.

It was "Merry Christmas."Not.-MT

[Voltex]

Jaller and Metus then tackled him, Metus ripping away iBrow’s staff and Jaller grabbing his shield, smacking the Narrator in the head with it. iBrow flung them away angrily, and was about to unleash his fury when Vultraz came from behind, smashing the Plastic Spoon into the back of iBrow’s head.“Herk... bleagh....” iBrow said, collapsing.“Nice try.” Vultraz told him from above. “I know full well you’re not dead, and so do you.”

I have a feeling that half of TvT could be resolved in this way.

As the song was finished, the sets all fell silent. And, as it happened, their singing had been so loud that they hadn’t heard anything of the battle occurring below them.

Turns out they missed the banking crisis, the gulf oil spill, and that whole Thanksgiving thing this way too.

He hear Vertak utter something under his breath, but had no time to ask; the Matoran was already gone.

It was "Merry Christmas."Not.-MT

Yeah... definitely not Merry Christmas. Or maybe it was.-ibrow