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End of a Universe, Birth of a Kingdom: Review Topic


Toa of Italy

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I'm really enjoying this. I don't have much time these days to log on, but I like to check periodically to see if a new chapter has been posted, and I'm always excited when there's a new one. It feels completely canon, and at this point, i pretty much consider it to be so, so far - I'm glad it's so long! You're only 30 chapters in, and there's over 100?? yes, please.

 

Do you have the chapters already planned/written, or are you composing from scratch each time you post a new chapter? (asking because you already know there's over 100 chapters, per your OP on this thread.)

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  • 2 weeks later...

Chapter 31 is online.

 

Enjoying the story!

 

I'm really enjoying this. I don't have much time these days to log on, but I like to check periodically to see if a new chapter has been posted, and I'm always excited when there's a new one. It feels completely canon, and at this point, i pretty much consider it to be so, so far - I'm glad it's so long! You're only 30 chapters in, and there's over 100?? yes, please.

 

I'm very glad to hear it. Hopefully I won't disappoint you as the epic progresses.

 

 

Do you have the chapters already planned/written, or are you composing from scratch each time you post a new chapter? (asking because you already know there's over 100 chapters, per your OP on this thread.)

Both, actually. The thing is, the story is already written. I began it several years ago and started posting it only when I finished it; this is why I know there are going to be about 100 chapters... and back when I wrote the OP, I was actually thinking that I would be able to post one chapter per day.

 

However, I soon realized that I wasn't satisfied with the style I used and with some decisions I took back when I first wrote the various chapters. Consequently, I am rewriting entire sections from scratch, which takes up a lot of time. Hopefully, as the epic progresses, I will be posting chapters whose style is more similar to my current one and which won't therefore require too many changes.

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My collection of epics: The Sanctum of Writing

 

 

 

 

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Chapter 33 is now online. It takes place about two weeks after the previous one. It's not the most exciting chapter, I'm afraid, but a necessary one.

 

Wow....just wow....this is really good. I had no idea this was here, and I'm only on ch 4 so far, but I completely accept this as the prequel to the kingdom. I'm relly looking forward to reading the rest!

Great, always good to acquire new readers. I just hope the length of some (well, almost all...) chapters doesn't put you off.

 

With as comprehensive a story as this, I'm sure they'll show up, but I'm curious where Karzahni, the Piraka, and Vezon are right now. Fairly sure they would have been Order prisoners around this time but I wonder if they successfully got evacuated or not.

Not quite every named character shows up. Keep in mind that all these characters need to evacuate a universe that is about to end... some simply won't make it, and won't even be able to take part in the storyline.

That said, this doesn't necessarily mean the ones you mentioned won't appear. I'm not saying anything about what's going to happen in my own epic... but, basing myself solely on canon storyline sources, I can confirm that when the Kingdom universe split from the main one all these you said necessarily needed to be Order prisoners (the Piraka and Karzahni were taken captive before the Stone Cord's destruction, and Vezon was taken away before that too, or else he would have perished when the Stone Cord collapsed, since that was where the Zyglak were holding him prisoner)... and that in The Kingdom Avak and Thok are stated to be alive.

Edited by Toa of Italy

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I seriously hope someone is still reading this. I've been awfully busy these past two months and only now I've finally managed to post Chapter 38. Feel free to tell me what you think. I hope to post 39 before the end of April (though that might be wishful thinking...).

You still have at least one reader! I've been thoroughly enjoying this epic (it's the only one that's kept my attention that I intend to finish). Can't wait for the next chapter!

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I seriously hope someone is still reading this. I've been awfully busy these past two months and only now I've finally managed to post Chapter 38. Feel free to tell me what you think. I hope to post 39 before the end of April (though that might be wishful thinking...).

 

Oh don't worry, I'm still an avid fan! :) Please keep the content coming, no matter how long it takes you, I always check back to see if there are updates. Thanks for keeping the story going, too many epics I've followed stop right when it get's good.

 

EDIT: Wow, after reading this chapter I'm really curious as to the identity of this mysterious character. He doesn't seem like someone we've met, at least I don't recognize his powers or his motives, but I am really interested to see who he is and why he is the way he is currently. Eagerly waiting for the next chapter! :D

Edited by Iron_Man5

 

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Formerly Iron_Man5

 

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The forums are back and so am I. At last, Chapter 40 of End of a Universe, Birth of a Kingdom, has been posted. I don't know if you will like the additional complications that start in the chapter, but feel free to review, as usual.

I have also added a map to the first post of the review topic, showing the various settlements and territories on Mata Nui as of Chapter 40. You might need it to get a clearer picture of what happens in this chapter and in the ones that will follow.

I will post another chapter shortly, then the next ones may take a bit long to come, depending on how busy I am.

Edited by Toa of Italy

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My collection of epics: The Sanctum of Writing

 

 

 

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

What a fantastic story you're putting together. You've truly managed to build a gripping epic that lives up to the nature of Bionicle. Your characterization of everyone, minor and major, is on point. Honestly, reading through this is like I've stumbled upon an official Bionicle publication that I had never heard of before now.

Thank you for writing this and continuing your work on it.

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Chapter 42 is now online. Hope you enjoy it. The next one will come eventually, though most likely not before November.

On 10/1/2019 at 3:29 AM, Avita_Creator said:

What a fantastic story you're putting together. You've truly managed to build a gripping epic that lives up to the nature of Bionicle. Your characterization of everyone, minor and major, is on point. Honestly, reading through this is like I've stumbled upon an official Bionicle publication that I had never heard of before now.

Thank you for writing this and continuing your work on it.

Thanks. Your compliments might almost persuade me to forgive you for posting in the story topic...

 

 

(Just kidding, of course. It's no problem at all.)

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Ok, I'm back, sorry for the hiatus. Chapter 44 is online. Hope you enjoy it. It is kind of a transition chapter, but we learn the fate of some characters and we see others returning. Hope you'll forgive the length of the second half, but I just can't resist some world-building now and then.

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The mystery behind the identity of this "being" is bound to drive me mad! I cannot fathom who would be powerful enough (or confident enough) to challenge the Makuta and be certain he could be their superior. I'm sure we'll find out eventually but for now I'm stumped lol. 

Meanwhile the stakes seem to be rising for our matoran friends, and it's always sad to see those we grew to know and care about fall. Still a great story, I'm eager to see it all play out!

 

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Formerly Iron_Man5

 

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Hey! Still really enjoying the story. I really respect the time you're putting into this. This epic feels like a love letter to Bionicle fans and your character writing and surprising plot developments have been spot on so far. It even feels like you're making up for shortcomings in the canon in some ways with following up on established character relationships and using characters that never got their time to shine in the canon. Keep up the good work! I'm really looking forward to seeing where it goes.

 

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Back at last, I don't believe it. Chapter 49 is now online for you to read.

I apologize for the three-month wait. Unfortunately writing these chapters takes a long time and life and university got in the way.

I'd like to promise that the next chapter will be out soon, but while I definitely hope so I'm afraid I can't guarantee it. I'll write it as soon as I find the time.

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I feel like I've had this story bookmarked for a very long time, but I'm only getting around to reading it now (as my Bionicle hyperfixation comes around again).

And it's amazing. I've devoured every page so far (although I think I'm only on Chapter 38). It's a huge, sprawling epic, but I have no trouble following who has done what or where they are (even if I have to check some names now and again!). Although it's slowed down quite a bit since the initial scuffle, the politics and strategic movements are interesting. I can see the Kingdom being built, even if I'm still not sure how we get there.

And as somone who adores Takua/Takanvua, I absolutely love to see him shine, pardon the pun. The use of the Shadow Takanuva's pulled my heartstrings, and the use of them to give Takanuva a leg up towards eventually becoming a Turaga was brilliant (oh look, another light pun). His desperate fight, turning into terror, his acquisition of new skills and his (mostly) subtle way of using them, to the point that the Toa Nuva are looking to *him* to represent them, is awesome, even though he still shows his relative inexperience. I'm still kinda hoping we'll really get to see him go off at one point, because between the Makuta and the Order, I feel like someone is eventually going to hit the wrong button at the right time.

I love the look into the inner workings of the Order, and the look at Helryx's inner self, a morally grey individual who can't allow herself to dwell on the losses or the cost of these battles...or her untruths. I could babble on about everybody, but we'd be here all day. No matter what character is on the page, I'm riveted by their story. (Will the Mahri be back in time for the big conclusion, I wonder? And will they have the heart to fight?)

I can't imagine how you're keeping all these moving parts in order, but it's amazing to read. I look forward to where it goes, if and when you have time, and thank you for the amazing read thus far. If you feel like posting your old stories from the lost forum ever, I would certainly read them.

All the best,

Sylver

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