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the definitive "whos your bionicle wife" thread

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If we are going about this just for fun and as a bit of a joke than I'll go with a Repair Nektann. Not much to objectify there.

Repair Nektann is pretty hot tbh. I'd love to form a lasting and meaningful relationship with them, they strike me as a trustworthy, loyal, and honest individual. I most certainly have a shared biological interest with them, and I believe that in our relationship there will be a lot of meaningful personal sacrifice.

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bZpOwEr

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[long and rambling post about how Getting It On is necessary for love or something]

 

anyway korgot is my wife and there's nothing you can do about it

  • Upvote 10

bionicle is trans culture

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Not gonna lie, I was interested in Marka for a while, way back when. I wouldn't call it a crush, per se - though I did deliberately pair my self-insert matoran character with her, so you can judge how much of a "not-crush" it actually was - but she was the one who hooked my interest when I was a teenager. That blue Hau was always pretty sweet to look at; and in hindsight, having played a little of MNOG2 again recently, I definitely respect her dedication to her work, and her as a person.

 

Though I moved on from her a while ago, and I'm very happy with my real-life girlfriend now; so we can just put the above down to a past attraction that didn't go anywhere ^^

You're thinking too small picture.  Marka is obviously dark horse top tier in the Bionicle Waifu meta game.  Let me list out my argument.

 

1) Doesn't change.  You see her on Toa Nokama's CD, MNOG1, and MNOG2.  She keeps the same mask.  You want someone who's reliable and secure with their own self-image.  None of this mask switching you see a bunch of the Matoran do between iterations.  She's constant and reliable, and that's what a solid marriage is built on.

 

2) Owns a boat.  I wouldn't say I'm an overly materialistic man, but I do appreciate a woman with affluence.  You know how many people I know with a boat these days?  Zero.  I don't even think I know someone with a canoe.  Major brownie points for owning a boat.

 

3) Is generous.  You can go back and forth between Ga-Wahi, Po-Wahi, and Ta-Wahi a million times and she doesn't even charge you a single widget.  Which brings me to my next point.

 

4) Is a savvy business women.  In this day and age, how is someone with a boat supposed to compete with Big Kewa?  They basically have a monopoly on transport on Mata Nui, but Marka finds a way to undercut them with an easy to use transportation service that doesn't make you solve a memory puzzle every time you want to use it.  Not only that, but she also supports local industry and helps the unemployed, like Hahli.

 

5) Believes in purity.  This is the Matoran who gives Hahli the Charm of Purity, showing that she is a true disciple of the Principle.  She is truly pure of heart.

 

 

Sure, your other waifus might shoot water, control Bohrok, or have Rahkshi head breastplates, but Marka isn't waifu material.  She's wife material.

 

I rest my case.

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*walks into topic*

Ah nah, nah nah nah nah no no no..... None of this will do! How can one realistically find relationship with a being lacking the basic necessary biological reproductive function, and therefore have no deep interpersonal connection in-mind to follow because of it, along with said being's own personality and likings of course, and most importantly of all trustworthiness?! If it doesn't fit those parameters it will not work for me, I will not tolerate the venom of the serpent and it's deceit, for I have been deceived beyond even my comparatively infinite tolerance to most* things! In short I do not have a BIONICLE "Waifu" because there are none to have, honestly. Of course I have the characters in BIONICLE I look up to, there's no doubt about that, but there is a massive seperation between that in which one looks up to for reference, or personal similarity, or even empathy or guidance, such as Tahu or Sahmad, and also the characters who are just straight up interesting, such as Zaktan, or Roodaka, but so often a true relationship is not built off of ANY of that! No, it is built off a biological and shared interest based connection between two, (and in some cases more), individuals, (but in the case of the more than two it is often more of a friend-bound relationship for most rather than a romance-bound one.) But for me personally I need someone trustworthy, loyal and honest, and most importantly of all loving, which the latter is something not found in BIONICLE outside of the love of brotherhood and therefore personal sacrifice, which is definitely the greatest of love, which I do need to a degree, but since BIONICLE lacks that first kind of love, that being romantic love, it just does not work. We can toss around insults the way of Greg's name as much as we want, and yes there are the Agori/Glatorian, but their lore and stories and history in actual canon is greatly lacking, and is overall not very interesting, so I would have no interest in even the idea of love or romance with a being of such, despite that they can actually biologically reproduce. One does not fill a very specific necessary checkbox, i.e MU, and the other is just uninteresting overall, i.e Bara Magna.

 

Personal sexuality aside, regardless of if someone is of the logical intellectual kind, such as I being one of such caliber, but regardless I am sure anyone can see so clearly the objectification in the topic and overall redundantness, eventhough it's obviously just in the name of fun and with no real dark-hearted intent. All it is that I have to say in the end is this, objectification is an evil which denotes, demotes, and dehumanizes someone or something.

 

 

If we are going about this just for fun and as a bit of a joke than I'll go with a Repair Nektann. Not much to objectify there.

 

Literally what.

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[long and rambling post about how Getting It On is necessary for love or something]

anyway korgot is my wife and there's nothing you can do about it

i forgot to mention jo is my other bionicle wife. im blessed
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[long and rambling post about how Getting It On is necessary for love or something]

anyway korgot is my wife and there's nothing you can do about it

i forgot to mention jo is my other bionicle wife. im blessed

 

 

Same, in a way.

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*walks into topic*

<snip>

Honestly now I'm just even more confused.

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I still believe we can live forever
You and I we begin forever now

 

I still believe in us together
You and I we're here together now

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Can we take a minute and admire how this topic has at least doubled this subforum's activity in one day?

 

also I can't decide between Gaaki and Gresh, they're both lovely characters

 

And it's further proven that this website is nothing without the #GayAgenda: we have fun so everyone else doesn't have to.

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Look, the Great Spirit may seem like a great spouse: He cares for you, provides whatever you need, let's you live in his skull. But overtime, he grows disinterested and distant as he is too absorbed in his work. It's not until you get stuck in an abusive relationship with his brother that he realizes just how much he lost. But for you, things go to the shadows much quicker, and you have to spend like 9 years struggling to survive. And then, just when he rescues you and you think he's going to take you back, he vanishes to "go find himself." You should really just go with Maku. She's adventurous and exciting (if a bit rebellious at times, what with her ignoring the Turaga's curfew) but in the end she's very caring and supportive. Plus she has a wicked disc throwing arm!

 

:music:

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Why do people keep reminding me of cute bionicle ladies I'd smooch in a heartbeat.

 

I'm adding Lariska to my list.

  • Upvote 8

NoNoNoNoNonNO


You misunderstood me


You didn't hear what I said


You're not listening LIKE MOST AMERICANS


-Arin Hanson

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I wouldn't date anyone from Bionicle, but only because I don't date at all. I follow the logic of the happily single lifestyle, where you save money from not being a relationship as well as not have to deal with the complexities of a non-friend companionship. 

 

The fact that I like being single also plays a factor into this. :P

  • Upvote 2

Everyone is one choice away from being the bad guy in another person's story.


 


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*walks into topic*

Ah nah, nah nah nah nah no no no..... None of this will do!

Yikes. I gotta be honest, this is a bad take if ever I saw one. Reproductive ability is not, never has been, and never will be a necessary prerequisite to loving or being loved by someone. To suggest otherwise is to suggest that people who are sterile due to age or disability, people who don't want kids, etc. are condemned to lives of loneliness, and that is some steaming hot garbage. Have you considered that a lot of people fall in love with others based on who they are as PEOPLE rather than out of any desire or ability to procreate?

 

If you honestly believe all that tripe I've gotta say, YOU'RE the one objectifying the concept of romance by trying to boil it down to some crude biological need, and you've been deceived way worse than anybody else in this topic, "venom of the serpent" (whatever THAT is) notwithstanding. I hope maybe one day you understand what love actually means as opposed to the ludicrous lies you've been sold.

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*walks into topic*

Ah nah, nah nah nah nah no no no..... None of this will do!

Yikes. I gotta be honest, this is a bad take if ever I saw one. Reproductive ability is not, never has been, and never will be a necessary prerequisite to loving or being loved by someone. To suggest otherwise is to suggest that people who are sterile due to age or disability, people who don't want kids, etc. are condemned to lives of loneliness, and that is some steaming hot garbage. Have you considered that a lot of people fall in love with others based on who they are as PEOPLE rather than out of any desire or ability to procreate?

 

If you honestly believe all that tripe I've gotta say, YOU'RE the one objectifying the concept of romance by trying to boil it down to some crude biological need, and you've been deceived way worse than anybody else in this topic, "venom of the serpent" (whatever THAT is) notwithstanding. I hope maybe one day you understand what love actually means as opposed to the ludicrous lies you've been sold.

 

 

A+, and not to mention like, looots of LGBTA+ relationships are right out then.

 

Which is so against everything ever, let alone the spirit of this topic.

Edited by Kagome
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*walks into topic*

Ah nah, nah nah nah nah no no no..... None of this will do!

Yikes. I gotta be honest, this is a bad take if ever I saw one. Reproductive ability is not, never has been, and never will be a necessary prerequisite to loving or being loved by someone. To suggest otherwise is to suggest that people who are sterile due to age or disability, people who don't want kids, etc. are condemned to lives of loneliness, and that is some steaming hot garbage. Have you considered that a lot of people fall in love with others based on who they are as PEOPLE rather than out of any desire or ability to procreate?

 

If you honestly believe all that tripe I've gotta say, YOU'RE the one objectifying the concept of romance by trying to boil it down to some crude biological need, and you've been deceived way worse than anybody else in this topic, "venom of the serpent" (whatever THAT is) notwithstanding. I hope maybe one day you understand what love actually means as opposed to the ludicrous lies you've been sold.

scott i am going to actually thank you in person at brickfair for this post, whenever i see you next
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when i was really into the series probs lesbians with nixie

otherwise idk maybe gali or something im boring

 

edit: also lariska

Edited by Noxryn
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nothing boring about gali shes good

 

I would date a gal whose name includes the very word. They're all very great girls, really.

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If I actually was in a relationship with Roodaka, she'd probably just exploit me to her own benefit with no regard for my emotional or physical well-being, betraying me and organizing my death without a second thought as soon as I had outlived my usefulness, finding another boy toy to execute the same plan on and never thinking my name again.

 

So I'm going to go with Roodaka. <3

  • Upvote 4

"You are an absolute in these uncertain times. Your past is forgotten, and your
future is an empty book. You must find your own destiny, my brave adventurer.
"
-- Turaga Nokama

nichijou2.jpg

Click here to visit my library!

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I just going to chime in and leave ya guys with this humor.

When you consider whats behind the masks in this universe...none of them look kissable to me and i think that is what the great beings originally had in mind from, their perspective.

Careful, or you may not look at your sets the same way twice.

robofaces.png

 

Edited by necross hordika

 

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they are making permanent kissy faces. who am i to deny them?

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bionicle is trans culture

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When we first saw the Metru heads we thought they looked silly because they were puckering up.

 

Truly, we have come full circle.

  • Upvote 5

I still believe we can live forever
You and I we begin forever now

 

I still believe in us together
You and I we're here together now

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When we first saw the Metru heads we thought they looked silly because they were puckering up.

 

Truly, we have come full circle.

 

It's how it was meant to be.

  • Upvote 1

cfT7maW.png
For whom weeps the storm
Her tears on our skin
The days of our years gone
Our souls soaked in sin
These memories ache with the weight of tomorrow

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Waifus? In my Bionicle?!

Just Gonna McLeave This Here:

 

You must have missed the memo that BZP became officially Gaytm during your own inactivity. 

Edited by Inary the Gunhaver
  • Upvote 2

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Marka is obviously dark horse top tier in the Bionicle Waifu meta game. 

 

[snip]

 

I wouldn't say I'm an overly materialistic man, but I do appreciate a woman with affluence.  You know how many people I know with a boat these days?  Zero.  I don't even think I know someone with a canoe.  Major brownie points for owning a boat.

Boat ownership is widely regarded as extremely uneconomical investment.  Personally, I'd look for a Matoran who's putting their hard-earned widgets behind something that's going somewhere, like Le-Wahi beachfront property, Madu Cabolo futures, or whatever company was contracted to make those Matoran sleeping sphere things.

 

I change my answer to Hapori Tohu

b-but his waifu is Hapori Dume :o


avatar by Lady Kopaka


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Marka is obviously dark horse top tier in the Bionicle Waifu meta game. 

 

[snip]

 

I wouldn't say I'm an overly materialistic man, but I do appreciate a woman with affluence.  You know how many people I know with a boat these days?  Zero.  I don't even think I know someone with a canoe.  Major brownie points for owning a boat.

Boat ownership is widely regarded as extremely uneconomical investment.  Personally, I'd look for a Matoran who's putting their hard-earned widgets behind something that's going somewhere, like Le-Wahi beachfront property, Madu Cabolo futures, or whatever company was contracted to make those Matoran sleeping sphere things.

 

Uneconomical for the average buyer, but probably more reasonable for someone who uses it for their job.

  • Upvote 2

"You are an absolute in these uncertain times. Your past is forgotten, and your
future is an empty book. You must find your own destiny, my brave adventurer.
"
-- Turaga Nokama

nichijou2.jpg

Click here to visit my library!

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I change my answer to Hapori Tohu

b-but his waifu is Hapori Dume :o

 

 

Shocking developments being leaked by staff!

  • Upvote 1

cfT7maW.png
For whom weeps the storm
Her tears on our skin
The days of our years gone
Our souls soaked in sin
These memories ache with the weight of tomorrow

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You've all got mediocre taste. I'll tell you who my bionicle waifu is. Vhisola. That robot is just..... beautiful. Now if you'll excuse I'm gonna cuddle up on the sofa with the Vhisola I got in 2004 and watch the bee movie. 

  • Upvote 4

It's time to move on.

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When you Google Gay Bionicle.

39e0b5f15821878976adb2bfd8feb6ea--hero-f

This was one of the first things that popped up.

thats cause crabs are gay. sorry i dont make the rules

  • Upvote 7

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When you Google Gay Bionicle.

-snip-

This was one of the first things that popped up.

thats cause crabs are gay. sorry i dont make the rules

 

 

The crab cycle needs updating then.

  • Upvote 5

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For whom weeps the storm
Her tears on our skin
The days of our years gone
Our souls soaked in sin
These memories ache with the weight of tomorrow

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Question

Are you...

A. Straight

B. Gay

 

Me:

I choose C.

 

The C stands for Crab.

  • Upvote 6

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For whom weeps the storm
Her tears on our skin
The days of our years gone
Our souls soaked in sin
These memories ache with the weight of tomorrow

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Waifus? In my Bionicle?!

Just Gonna McLeave This Here:

 

You must have missed the memo that BZP became officially Gaytm during your own inactivity. 

Gali is best waifu, have you got any more anime stuff?

Edited by electrodude

It's all ogre now

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I wish Kopaka were canon trans girl because I would definitely choose her tbh.

havent you heard? theyre all trans girls now. make your dreams come true

  • Upvote 3

bionicle is trans culture

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Waifus? In my Bionicle?!

Just Gonna McLeave This Here:

 

You must have missed the memo that BZP became officially Gaytm during your own inactivity. 

*Insert funnie vidya*

Gali is best waifu, have you got any more anime stuff?

I gave you sauce, dog. I gave you sauce!

Vhisola Is Pretty Cute
vhisola_by_jiayi-d4bfd8s.png

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