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The Toa- A retelling of Bionicle

Featured bionicle the toa remake comic

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#1 Online NickonAquaMagna

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Posted Sep 10 2017 - 04:33 PM

I had to shrink these down to fit BZP's 500 kb limit. To see higher-res versions of these pages and more, simply visit the DA gallery. https://nickinameric...nicle-retelling
 
Please also consider checking out Planet Ripple, my original series.
 
And now, read on gathered friends.
 
thetoapage1_by_nickinamerica-dbn1042.jpgthetoapage2_by_nickinamerica-dbn103m.jpg
thetoapage3_by_nickinamerica-dbn1032.jpg
thetoapage4_by_nickinamerica-dbn102h.jpg
thetoapage5_by_nickinamerica-dbn101d.jpg
thetoapage6_by_nickinamerica-dbn100b.jpg
thetoapage7_by_nickinamerica-dbn0zye.jpg
thetoapage8text_by_nickinamerica-dbn0zxx
thetoapage9text_by_nickinamerica-dbn0zwn
thetoapage10text_by_nickinamerica-dbn0zw
 
Before anyone asks about Nova Orbis.... Trust me, I will get back to that someday. But every time I've tried to get back into it lately, I've just given myself a headache and gotten overwhelmed. Keep in mind, I'm also working on Planet Ripple every day that I can, so I'll be lucky to finish a page of this per day on top of that. But I wanted to give people here something simple and refreshing that I could update regularly, so here it is. "The Toa" as I'm calling it, is going to be a simple retelling of the original story, mostly focused on 2001 but referencing some other things. It's not a simple recap of the Mata Nui Online Game's story, as you may've noticed already from some of the twists shown so far. The Toa Canisters actually do fall from space this time, there are boys and girls in all Matoran tribes (there's a female Ta-Matoran to the left in the panel where Vakama emerges from his hut), Tahu nearly dies landing directly on the island, and Takua doesn't have amnesia from falling on a beach. I have many other tweaks in store, and it's going to diverge more and more from the original story over time.
 
Basically, if I had to take the BEST things about G1 and cram them into one simple, easy to follow, streamlined story that addresses many of the criticisms made over the years... this is how I'd do it. Rather, how I'm going to do it.
 
So yeah... feedback is appreciated. I hope this first taste has people excited.

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the_toa_sig_by_nickinamerica-dbn0wau.png

The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.c...ng-of-bionicle/


#2 Offline Taka Nuvia

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Posted Sep 11 2017 - 03:33 AM

I am a huge fan of the silent beginning, it creates a fittingly mysterious atmosphere. The art style is interesting, and I like the Toa's faces without their masks, as they're both reminiscent of the old sets yet have a certain 'alien' vibe to them.

Overall, this looks really promising, I'll definitely keep an eye on it!


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#3 Online NickonAquaMagna

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Posted Sep 11 2017 - 12:47 PM

Thanks. I hope more people do as it goes on.

 

Here's the next page.

 

thetoapage11_by_nickinamerica-dbn3zkw.jp

 

Look at Lewa, getting that kind of attention and just eating it up. Haha You know that bit in "Elf" where Buddy (Will Ferrel's character) keeps getting handed flyers and saying thank you? That's basically how I imagine Lewa's delivery sounding here.

The last panel's depiction of Onu-Koro was inspired by this amazing piece that just...
bionicle_mata_nui__onu_wahi_by_fotusknig
Oooogh, look at that. Beautiful. As soon as I saw it I had to feature it in this story.

As for Onua's line... Who here can relate?

 

(I can't help hearing it said in his synthesized, "Reviving Bionicle" voice).


Edited by NickonAquaMagna, Sep 11 2017 - 12:48 PM.

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The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.c...ng-of-bionicle/


#4 Offline Scrapmetaru

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Posted Sep 12 2017 - 03:26 AM

Only real criticism I can think of is "why didn't you change the two redundant elements?".


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#5 Online NickonAquaMagna

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Posted Sep 12 2017 - 08:42 AM

Because I still like those elements...? I like Brickonicle an' all, but if I wanted to I could've just made a straight adaptation of that.


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#6 Offline evil_jaga_genius

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Posted Sep 12 2017 - 01:10 PM

Kick me in the nostalgia, why don't you =P

 

It's good to see you back on BZP!  And I'm loving your take so far.  Poor Tahu, bravest and boldest of the Toa, brought to pieces by a simple navigational glitch...

 

Also I'm getting flashbacks to the numerous broken pieces I have on my own Tahu set - it was very well loved =P  His sword is bent, one of the arms is broken and his mask has a chunk taken out of the side.  I had to come up with ever-more inventive solutions to give him proper limbs and a face again.  Vakama certainly has his work cut out for him.

 

Anyhow, all that to say, consider me hooked.


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If I don't respond in the RPG, send me a PM about it and I'll try and get stuff worked out

 

Think a community RPG project sounds interesting?  Let me know here!


#7 Online Iron_Man5

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Posted Sep 12 2017 - 01:19 PM

NOOOOOO NOT TAHU!!!  :crying:  :hau:  I'm definitely hoping beyond hope that Vakama fixes him up. Poor guy.  :(

 

On another note, this comic is amazing! Artwork is great, the story is gripping, and overall a job well done! Very eager to see how it plays out!


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#8 Offline Scrapmetaru

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Posted Sep 12 2017 - 02:04 PM

Because I still like those elements...? I like Brickonicle an' all, but if I wanted to I could've just made a straight adaptation of that.


I wasn't refering to brickonicle. I just meant to bring up an old flaw from g1.

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#9 Online NickonAquaMagna

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Posted Sep 12 2017 - 03:03 PM

Hm. I guess it just never occurred to me to think of it as a flaw.

 

And don't worry too much about Tahu, everybody. He'll come around. See?

thetoapage12_by_nickinamerica-dbn8dxa.jp


Edited by NickonAquaMagna, Sep 12 2017 - 05:56 PM.

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#10 Online Iron_Man5

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Posted Sep 13 2017 - 06:18 AM

*whew* glad to hear that! Very eager to see how things play out.

 

I think that might be the longest time we've ever seen a character without a mask/krana on their face in G1... now I understand why they love masks so much, they're kinda disturbing to look at otherwise ;)


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#11 Online NickonAquaMagna

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Posted Sep 13 2017 - 11:16 AM

The original faces were trick to work with, what with their four lips and gaping mouths. I tried to make them look more like a series of overlapping, sliding plates.

 

Also, here's page 13.

thetoapage13text_by_nickinamerica-dbnam9

 

Mini Visorak? Oooh boy. Time for some mind games.


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#12 Online Kuan

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Posted Sep 13 2017 - 12:08 PM

I do quite enjoy these, the art style is beautiful, and your storytelling is quite amazing! Kutgw!


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#13 Online NickonAquaMagna

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Posted Sep 13 2017 - 05:57 PM

Thank you! I'll upload a new page each day if I can.


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#14 Offline Toa Bors

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Posted Sep 13 2017 - 08:29 PM

I very much like how you tied in Vakama's background as a mask maker, as well as his shoulder armor. Can't wait to see more of this!


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#15 Online Iron_Man5

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Posted Sep 14 2017 - 05:38 AM

The original faces were trick to work with, what with their four lips and gaping mouths. I tried to make them look more like a series of overlapping, sliding plates.

I totally understand. :) It's just that when I see a Toa without his mask, I instantly think of Hakann and his jab about Toa wearing masks just to cover their ugly faces :P

 

 

Mini Visorak? Oooh boy. Time for some mind games.

Hmmm my guess is they're actually Skull spiders... but we'll just have to wait and see :D


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#16 Online NickonAquaMagna

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Posted Sep 14 2017 - 08:24 AM

 

Mini Visorak? Oooh boy. Time for some mind games.

Hmmm my guess is they're actually Skull spiders... but we'll just have to wait and see :D

 

 

 

More like mini-visorak. Just wanted to give things from Bionicle's later years cameos here and there.


Edited by NickonAquaMagna, Sep 14 2017 - 08:28 AM.

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#17 Online Iron_Man5

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Posted Sep 14 2017 - 09:06 AM

 

 

Mini Visorak? Oooh boy. Time for some mind games.

Hmmm my guess is they're actually Skull spiders... but we'll just have to wait and see :D

 

 

More like mini-visorak. Just wanted to give things from Bionicle's later years cameos here and there.

 

 

Ooo a horde of them then? Well in that case...

Z1cAiJ.gif

SPIDERS! A GIANT LEGION OF SPIDERS!!

 

(Apologies if no one else gets this reference. It was taken from the Nostalgia Critic's interpretation of Dr Smith from his review of Lost in Space.)


Edited by Iron_Man5, Sep 14 2017 - 09:13 AM.

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#18 Offline Darth Jaller

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Posted Sep 14 2017 - 10:08 AM

Oh WOW, this is cool. I absolutely love the art style you're using here; and the story's coming together flawlessly so far. Between that, the layout, and the pacing, it has a real 'authentic graphic novel' feel to it, which honestly makes it a real treat to read. Very much looking forward to see where you're going with this :D

 

I really enjoy the callback to what the Turaga said in Island of Doom, too; the way that the Toa's muscle tissue is regrowing as they reassemble themselves, rather than just snapping Bionicle pieces together like they did in the original animation. This way makes them feel more vulnerable, somehow, in those starting moments, which is a really nice touch.

 

I've often considered 'rewriting' some of Bionicle's earlier years myself, but never moved past the considering stage; it's really cool to see someone else had the same idea, and is executing it much better than I ever could have ^^


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#19 Offline Toatapio Nuva

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Posted Sep 14 2017 - 02:31 PM

Sweet, I really like the artwork and the concept behind this. Looking forward to whatever you have in store for this retold story.


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#20 Online NickonAquaMagna

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Posted Sep 14 2017 - 04:33 PM

Oh trust me, I get that NC reference.

 

And thanks for the continuing support, everybody. Here's another page!

 

thetoapage14_by_nickinamerica-dbnf142.jp

 

Ooooooh boy. Yeah, I know I said this wouldn't be a beat-by-beat retelling of MNOG, but you can probably see where this scene is going.


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#21 Online Iron_Man5

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Posted Sep 15 2017 - 05:27 AM

Did Tahu just torch Vakama and potentially Takua (since he was in the room a few pages back)!?  :burnmad:  :onfire:  This just escalated rather rapidly! Gotta love the suspense. :D Eager to see the outcome of the chase.


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#22 Online NickonAquaMagna

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Posted Sep 15 2017 - 09:04 AM

They're all right, just got a little singed is all. He hallucinated that he was being attacked by Visorak.


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#23 Online Iron_Man5

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Posted Sep 15 2017 - 09:16 AM

They're all right, just got a little singed is all. He hallucinated that he was being attacked by Visorak.

Makuta's doing no doubt. Glad they're alright, I wasn't too worried about Vakama, Turaga of fire and all... Takua on the other hand might not be quite as fire resistant, being an av-matoran *coughspoilerscough* and that was a pretty large fire blast. Glad they're alright. :D


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"I am Iron Man"

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#24 Online NickonAquaMagna

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Posted Sep 15 2017 - 02:56 PM

thetoapage15_by_nickinamerica-dbni7c8.jp

thetoapage16_by_nickinamerica-dbni8fa.jp

Kapura's so chill. Almost got toasted on one side, and he's so cool about it.

I find these moments are funnier if you imagine the characters speaking with synthesized voices, like in Reviving Bionicle.

 

 

 

Aaaaaaand here's another page, for the 16th.

 

thetoapage17_by_nickinamerica-dbnrcjs.jp

 

Mata Nui compels you!


Edited by NickonAquaMagna, Sep 17 2017 - 07:34 PM.

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#25 Online Iron_Man5

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Posted Sep 16 2017 - 06:25 PM

Wooo go Vakama! :D

I just noticed that Tahu's coloring is a darker red than the matoran's, is that symbolizing the darkness of makers hanging around him, or is there another reason behind it?

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"I am Iron Man"

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#26 Online NickonAquaMagna

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Posted Sep 16 2017 - 07:26 PM

Wooo go Vakama! :D

I just noticed that Tahu's coloring is a darker red than the matoran's, is that symbolizing the darkness of makers hanging around him, or is there another reason behind it?

 

He still isn't doing too well, health-wise. His color will return to him as his strength does.


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the_toa_sig_by_nickinamerica-dbn0wau.png

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#27 Offline Ta-metru_defender

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Posted Sep 16 2017 - 10:28 PM

I am having a ball reading this. Can't wait for more.


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#28 Online NickonAquaMagna

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Posted Sep 16 2017 - 10:58 PM

Thanks. Also I just realized "You" was missing in "welcome you to our" so on. Fixed that.

 

Also, new page.

thetoapage18_by_nickinamerica-dbnrckz.jp

 

I'm sure things can only get better for our heroes from here.


Edited by NickonAquaMagna, Sep 17 2017 - 07:33 PM.

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#29 Online Iron_Man5

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Posted Sep 17 2017 - 05:09 PM

Things got real really fast! Quite a lot is at stake it seems... who's guessing a certain green toa with a corrupt mask is next? ;)
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#30 Online NickonAquaMagna

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Posted Sep 17 2017 - 06:12 PM

Minor spoiler- It won't be Lewa this time.


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#31 Offline Toatapio Nuva

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Posted Sep 18 2017 - 09:07 AM

The idea of Makuta trying to convert one of the Toa is a very interesting premise. Kinda reminds me of the plot for the original BZPRPG.


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#32 Online NickonAquaMagna

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Posted Sep 18 2017 - 12:15 PM

thetoacover_by_nickinamerica-dbntjwf.jpg

 

This is... probably pretty plain for a cover. I wanted something minimalist and clean, but I might whip up a "proper" cover and rework this as a back cover sometime.

I was a little cautious about putting my name at the bottom since it sounds like I'm claiming these things are mine. No I am not, this is a simple non profit fan comic. A tribute to something that hugely influenced my sensibilities growing up and inspired me to become the writer I am today. I owe a lot to this silly toy line. Will upload page 19 tomorrow.

Not sure what kind of "theme" music a project like this should have. While I love most of the music in the old Bionicle movies, the "epic" orchestral themes just doesn't seem as fitting for something like Bionicle to me as they would for more traditional fantasy like LoTR. Sure, the more somber tracks fit well in the 2nd and 3rd movies, which are all about a fantastical culture dying overnight, but for those early days on the island...

Maybe something more like the music you'd hear in a Metroid game? Come on, just listen to this or "Tallon Overworld 2" and tell me that doesn't sound like living, singing machines in a wild natural setting with temples an' stuff.


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#33 Online Iron_Man5

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Posted Sep 18 2017 - 12:38 PM

I like it honestly! Reminds me a bit of the Toa's old advertisement but also giving it a unique look. Very cool :D


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#34 Online NickonAquaMagna

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Posted Sep 19 2017 - 03:19 PM

thetoapage19_by_nickinamerica-dbny4da.jp

 

Question... is it okay for a non-profit fan tribute to call him "Jala?"


Edited by NickonAquaMagna, Sep 19 2017 - 06:04 PM.

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#35 Online Kuan

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Posted Sep 19 2017 - 10:13 PM

Question... is it okay for a non-profit fan tribute to call him "Jala?"

My firm opinion is you can't copyright a language, and the maori were in the wrong to even sue LEGO, but that's what you get when you reward litigiousness. So yeah call him Jala


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#36 Offline Toatapio Nuva

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Posted Sep 20 2017 - 01:38 AM

Question... is it okay for a non-profit fan tribute to call him "Jala?"

 

I doubt the Maori people are gonna sue one person over a fan comic based on a discontinued toyline.


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#37 Online Iron_Man5

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Posted Sep 20 2017 - 05:20 AM

Can I just say it now? Takua is adorable! He's quickly becoming my favorite of the characters, which is saying something because I always liked Jala more in the past. :D (btw did he just flash a peace sign at Tahu?) :P


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"I am Iron Man"

:i:  :a: :m:  :i: :r: :m_o: :n:  :m: :a: :n:

 

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signature art by Tattorak


#38 Online NickonAquaMagna

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Posted Sep 20 2017 - 08:20 AM

Oooohh, then you're gonna love him in today's uploads.

 

Also... Dangit, I really wanna call him Jala but I don't wanna get hacked by a troll or something claiming to be a maori representative... which is basically how things went the first time. Guess I'll go with the name changes just to be safe. Sigh.


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the_toa_sig_by_nickinamerica-dbn0wau.png

The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.c...ng-of-bionicle/


#39 Offline CommanderKumo

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Posted Sep 20 2017 - 09:41 AM

Really enjoying this comic!


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My Youtube channel: https://www.youtube....KmVtcnoJTv7g6PA , Bionicle films coming soon!


#40 Online NickonAquaMagna

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Posted Sep 20 2017 - 04:01 PM

You might enjoy this, then. A debate about what the three virtues actually mean.

 

Yes, this is happening.

 

thetoapage20text_by_nickinamerica-dbo1i7

thetoapage21text_by_nickinamerica-dbo1i8

 

Remember, if these pages are too small to read you can enlarge them on DA. https://nickinameric...nicle-retelling


Edited by NickonAquaMagna, Sep 20 2017 - 05:26 PM.

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the_toa_sig_by_nickinamerica-dbn0wau.png

The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.c...ng-of-bionicle/





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