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Biological Chronicle: The Complete Bionicle Collection

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347 replies to this topic

#281 Offline Cheesy Mac n Cheese

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Posted Oct 08 2018 - 09:24 PM

I wasn't around from late 2009 to late 2014, so I wasn't present for those 15 almost-canon stories, and while I've heard of those contests since then, I didn't realize there were so many, and they'd kind of slipped my mind. Thanks, I now have plenty of reading material.

 

Anyway, I second including them somehow, but maybe as a separate volume.


Edited by Cheesy Mac n Cheese, Oct 08 2018 - 09:24 PM.

  • 1

My friend went to Po-Wahi and all I got was this lousy rock.

logowithbackgrounnd100.png

Blue sea...a Ruki leaps...the sound of water


#282 Offline ToaDume

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Posted Oct 09 2018 - 09:57 AM

I never heard of these semi-cannon stories. I'd love to read them. I'd have to wait until I'm done to state my opinion on whether they should be included. They can be the best short stories in the world, but if they don't flow right with the rest of the books, I don't know. It might be worth changing some of the story if you are including them. For example, the only one I've started reading so far was the story of Nujus teacher Ihu. Perhaps a good time for this would be as a flashback when Nuju first arrives on mata nui (island) and thinks of Ihu as he's atop The mountain he later names Mt. Ihu.
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#283 Offline simontikaxonn

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Posted Oct 09 2018 - 10:18 AM

I'm also excited to read that stories on this compilation, but like Dume said, they have to stick to the canon of it. I totally support this idea
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#284 Offline ToaDume

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Posted Oct 09 2018 - 10:21 AM

I very much look forward to a printable text-only complete version that I hope to have bound in one book, which will likely need to have thinner Bible-style pages. I will be in contact with my local publisher to see what they need to make this possible.

I've mentioned this before, but I believe having a Contents page would be very valuable in navigating through the printed book. It could be as simple as listing the starting page of the 10 books, or be as complex as your GoogleDoc with the chapter list and what that chapter represents in the official Bionicle book/short story that's being extracted, but that is completely up to you.
Thanks again TuragaNuva and others for the hard work!

I would be very interested in hearing what your local publisher says. Usually they're a little more flexible on price if multiple copies are ordered. I know I want one, and I'm sure there's other here that would be interested too, so maybe we can pull together and order from one publisher to lower cost. In that case, someone would need to design a cover though (personally, I think a simple black cover with the 3 virtues symbol on them would be a simple, yet stunning cover that wouldn't reveal anything about the storyline). A contents page might be a little chaotic since in the complete versions, items were moved to better transition between stories and serials. So books would be cut by other books/stories. Unless maybe someone went through the detail of naming every chapter?

Edited by ToaDume, Oct 09 2018 - 10:25 AM.

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#285 Offline Cheesy Mac n Cheese

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Posted Oct 19 2018 - 01:19 PM

I just read “Deep Shadows,” one of those never canonized contest winners, which deals with the events on Odina and Karzahni during the first 1000 years after the Great Cataclysm, and noticed a few problems:
1. Karzahni is repeatedly referred to as an “island,” and it mentions Karzahni having a beach on the sea. If I’m not mistaken, it’s been established that Karzahni’s dome has no water in it, and the closest thing it has to a beach is a small piece of its land jutting into the Silver Sea in Metru Nui’s dome.

2. Karzahni is mentioned to have purple and green armor. He didn’t have that coloration until he rebuilt himself right before leaving his realm, therefore he should have black and gold armor in this story.

3. Karzahni has somehow deduced that Devastator has not only joined an organization, but that his organization has need of secret battle plans. He’s never left his realm, and he’s had no contact with the outside world for thousands of years. How does he even know there are any organizations out there?

4. Karzahni’s already talking about conquest. I thought that never even crossed his mind until he saw Jaller and co.’s alternate future and realized there’s more out there than he originally thought.

I kind of wonder whether or not Greg actually would have approved this one. Don’t get me wrong, it’s an interesting idea that sheds light on Devastator’s seemingly nonsensical origin story, but...

Edited by Cheesy Mac n Cheese, Oct 19 2018 - 01:34 PM.

  • 1

My friend went to Po-Wahi and all I got was this lousy rock.

logowithbackgrounnd100.png

Blue sea...a Ruki leaps...the sound of water


#286 Offline ArchAngelleofJustice

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Posted Oct 19 2018 - 08:40 PM

1. Karzahni is repeatedly referred to as an “island,” and it mentions Karzahni having a beach on the sea. If I’m not mistaken, it’s been established that Karzahni’s dome has no water in it, and the closest thing it has to a beach is a small piece of its land jutting into the Silver Sea in Metru Nui’s dome.

 

A brief look at both the wiki and Bionicle Encyclopaedia Updated doesn't explicitly reveal this. Was this shown in Dark Destiny? It seems like an obscure piece of information and I wonder if it should be added to the wiki. I'm trying to imagine it based on what information we have. BEU describes it as 'The realm ruled by Zarazhni. Located in a canyon, it is a strange frightening place...' almost as if it's a territory and not an entire island or continent itself. While I see your point, I've also seen fans interpret Karzahni in a number of ways. In any case, Karzahni must have a beach at both its of it's dome - one in the peninsula inside the Metru Nui dome, and a beach in either it's own dome or in the Northern Continent dome.

 

(Actually, a lot of this is news to me and I've just assumed Karzahni was a 'normal' island in a dome for a long time.)

 

I agree with the other issues Cheesy Mac n Cheese brought up. I haven't paid a huge amount of time to Karzahni (the being or the location) so I didn't notice many of these issues, but I wonder if Greg may have 'cleaned' some of these stories up. In addition to the lost formatting that has come from archive changes over time, there are numerous grammatical and spelling errors in many stories. I've only read the 'One Thousand Years Untold 2' stories so far and all of them have been quite enjoyable, but I found myself correcting numerous errors in the prose each time. The Lesoviik contest includes this rule:

 

  • You are allowed to name characters. However, bear in mind that if Mr. Farshtey returns and your story is approved as canon, names will not be included in the approval.

 

Which leads me to believe that Greg may have corrected some of these errors like the incorrect armor colors. I'm not sure whether he would have corrected Karzahni's entire character, however.


Edited by ArchAngelleofJustice, Oct 19 2018 - 08:42 PM.

  • 0

Stories I wrote

 

Parts of a Whole Series: An Alternate Ending

Part 1: Fight for Freedom                        Wisps of Memory

Part 2: Army of One (In Progress)


Short Stories:
The Great Takara          
Tale of the Toa Stones          Masks


#287 Offline Cheesy Mac n Cheese

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Posted Oct 19 2018 - 11:18 PM

A brief look at both the wiki and Bionicle Encyclopaedia Updated doesn't explicitly reveal this. Was this shown in Dark Destiny? It seems like an obscure piece of information and I wonder if it should be added to the wiki. I'm trying to imagine it based on what information we have. BEU describes it as 'The realm ruled by Zarazhni. Located in a canyon, it is a strange frightening place...' almost as if it's a territory and not an entire island or continent itself. While I see your point, I've also seen fans interpret Karzahni in a number of ways. In any case, Karzahni must have a beach at both its of it's dome - one in the peninsula inside the Metru Nui dome, and a beach in either it's own dome or in the Northern Continent dome.

(Actually, a lot of this is news to me and I've just assumed Karzahni was a 'normal' island in a dome for a long time.)


There's a discussion on the talk page. Greg sees it as an isthmus, and BIONICLE World says that it used to be reachable by land, but the water has long since dried up and it is now landlocked. Unless "long since" means "500 years ago," there should be no water-accessible beaches within Karzahni proper at the time of this story.

Oh, and it’s less of an issue, but the presence of a Mana Ko is sort of troubling. I thought they were exclusively found in high security Brotherhood locations.

Edited by Cheesy Mac n Cheese, Oct 22 2018 - 09:03 AM.

  • 0

My friend went to Po-Wahi and all I got was this lousy rock.

logowithbackgrounnd100.png

Blue sea...a Ruki leaps...the sound of water


#288 Offline Toa Tahva

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Posted Oct 24 2018 - 10:58 AM

The continued work to make this compilation as perfect as can be continues to impress me. I took imagine a world where I will one day try to bind this into a book (or books) of some kind. Having never done such a thing before what kinds of advice do people have for that? 

 

Going REALLY far back in this discussion, would it be possible to (when all is said and done) release a version that is editable just so people can pick and choose which titles they prefer? If some people like the one word titles and some people prefer the more traditional year "theme" titles (Web of Shadows, Island of Doom, Ignition, ect.) then that would allow everyone to just make do with whatever they wanted.

 

This is a minor point though and if it is implausible who I am to judge.


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#289 Offline TuragaNuva

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Posted Nov 08 2018 - 04:28 PM

Update time! I finished my write-up of the My Lego Network Bionicle campaign (with a lot of help from the one on BS01), and there is now a Complete version of Book 9 that contains it! It's also been added to the Complete version of the full collection.

 

I haven't had a chance to look at those fan stories yet, but it's next on my list. I really appreciate that people are pointing out potential canon conflicts in them for me - saves me a lot of trouble down the line!

 

 

 

The continued work to make this compilation as perfect as can be continues to impress me. I took imagine a world where I will one day try to bind this into a book (or books) of some kind. Having never done such a thing before what kinds of advice do people have for that? 

 

Going REALLY far back in this discussion, would it be possible to (when all is said and done) release a version that is editable just so people can pick and choose which titles they prefer? If some people like the one word titles and some people prefer the more traditional year "theme" titles (Web of Shadows, Island of Doom, Ignition, ect.) then that would allow everyone to just make do with whatever they wanted.

 

This is a minor point though and if it is implausible who I am to judge.

I'm considering the idea of releasing the Word doc versions (only once everything is essentially final), but I'm not sure yet. I'm also considering a few other options to make sure people get exactly what they want, though (one idea is a poll to determine the final Book names, and then different versions with the most popular choices).


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#290 Offline Toa of Gallifrey

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Posted Nov 10 2018 - 10:07 AM

That'd be neat! I was against Infection being the name for book 1 at the start, but I thought about it and realized that disease is a key theme in Bionicle and now I'm all for that being the title. The Toa are the medicine that fight the disease that is Makuta, hence why he manifests as an infected Matoran and why he spreads evil through infected Kanohi. It ties perfectly into Faber's vision and I really wish other years stuck with this theme.


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#291 Offline simontikaxonn

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Posted Nov 19 2018 - 04:16 PM

 

Aw man, thanks so much for the scans! I've been hoping the English version would pop up since I translated the Russian version back in the ancient year of 2012
 
I hope you're able to track down the other issues, I've never had any luck finding them. Knowing there's an unseen Tahu comic makes me really wish I had! Was his about mask hunting too?

Thank you for sharing your translation! I did some editing and put this together for Part 3:
1 2 3 4
5

With this and Darth Jaller's scans of Parts 1 and 2, I'll start looking into where this could fit in the compilation. Thanks so much to both of you!

 

I know they're not canon, but just yesterday BMP posted in their website the Lewa, Gali and Tahu comics that appeared on this UK magazines, you should check them out. Here`s the link:

 

http://biomediaproje...s/other-comics/

 

Anyway, what will happen with The Legend Continues from the Mask of Light website? Will it appear on the compilation?


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#292 Offline ArchAngelleofJustice

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Posted Nov 19 2018 - 05:20 PM

Wow, it's interesting to see the last two comics. I didn't know that this 'series' ended. It's interesting to see how Ta-Koro would look more like it's rendition in Tales of the Tohunga/Quest of the Toa, especially the huts.

 

Don't get me wrong, those comics are terrible, but it's still an interesting look at how some of the early canon was developed, and I like the toy-like renders.


  • 0

Stories I wrote

 

Parts of a Whole Series: An Alternate Ending

Part 1: Fight for Freedom                        Wisps of Memory

Part 2: Army of One (In Progress)


Short Stories:
The Great Takara          
Tale of the Toa Stones          Masks


#293 Offline Cheesy Mac n Cheese

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Posted Nov 19 2018 - 10:24 PM

Anyway, what will happen with The Legend Continues from the Mask of Light website? Will it appear on the compilation?


That was my job. I’ve been laz-uh, I mean busy with other things. The problem is the choices. I’ve been thinking about doing a poll or something for each step of the game to see which route is preferred by fans. How does that sound?

  • 0

My friend went to Po-Wahi and all I got was this lousy rock.

logowithbackgrounnd100.png

Blue sea...a Ruki leaps...the sound of water


#294 Offline simontikaxonn

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Posted Nov 19 2018 - 10:29 PM

Anyway, what will happen with The Legend Continues from the Mask of Light website? Will it appear on the compilation?

That was my job. I’ve been laz-uh, I mean busy with other things. The problem is the choices. I’ve been thinking about doing a poll or something for each step of the game to see which route is preferred by fans. How does that sound?

Actually there's a walkthrough at biosector01 and also if you check the timeline from there, there is a way of completing the game canonically

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#295 Offline Darth Jaller

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Posted Nov 20 2018 - 11:40 AM

I know they're not canon, but just yesterday BMP posted in their website the Lewa, Gali and Tahu comics that appeared on this UK magazines, you should check them out. Here`s the link:
 
http://biomediaproje...s/other-comics/

 
Oh, nice! I had those magazines when I was a kid... I've been trying to find them again recently - mostly to contribute the Bionicle comics to the fandom, since no-one else here on BZ seemed to have heard of them until recently - but had no success; thanks so much for sharing them :D
 
...though WOW, the Tahu one was worse than I remembered. Lego Adventures Magazine was never known for spectacular storytelling, granted, but I feel like this may have been their all-time low. Though since these fell right at the end of the magazine's run, I guess they just stopped putting in the effort for the last couple of issues?

Edited by Darth Jaller, Nov 20 2018 - 11:42 AM.

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LhikanLow.gif

 

"New legends awake, but old lessons must be remembered.

For that is the way

of the BIONICLE."

 

---

Corpus Rahkshi bio: Blizzard

Skyrise bios: Tarutu, Kastir


#296 Offline Gearzoid II

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Posted Nov 22 2018 - 04:36 PM

Hey there TuragaNuva! First of all, this compilation is incredible! I'm so glad and grateful there are fans like you and the other contributors to the project who made this a thing :). I never got into the story while G1 was still around (I started buying sets in mid 2009, and only knew of the movies at the time via my neighbor friends), and being able to do that while getting back into Bionicle this year has been awesome. Anyways, I just finished the epilogue ~2 days ago, and I've been meaning to let you know about two typos/errors I found reading through Destiny. Here they are:

 

 

i4T72CM.png

This one I believe is just a missing period.

 

 

 

QtVLPua.png

This one was honestly pretty funny to discover :P. Even though I don't read manga, it made me wonder what a manga/anime style Mata Nui would look like...

 

 

That's all!


Edited by Gearzoid II, Nov 22 2018 - 04:38 PM.

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#297 Offline ArchAngelleofJustice

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Posted Nov 22 2018 - 09:28 PM

Hey, do you have any plans to make an ePub version of the books available? I'm not personally interested, but someone over at reddit.com/r/bioniclelego has asked about it.

 

Edit to avoid double posting

 

Alright, I've finished going through the never-canonized contest winners. I'll admit that the quality varies somewhat between them, but I did enjoy most. I've shared versions of each with TuragaNuva (except Of Rahi and Toa) that have been edited in minor ways (normally fixing the formatting, which has broken over the years. Of Rahi and Toa didn't need fixing though). Any other edits I've made have been for jarring grammatical errors or easily-fixed continuity errors, I've noted in the document if I've made alterations.

 

 

I'd personally love to see Survival placed before the bulk of the 2008 story, as it acts as a fantastic primer to Karda Nui and it's Matoran, especially Gavla. (I hate to play favourites, but Survival really improves the 2008 story in my opinion, by allowing us to spend so much time with the Kardatoran before the Makuta come and wreck everything.)

 

Retribution also develops Nektann, who isn't otherwise formally introduced Destiny War in canon. I think that Retribution really improves Journey's End by making Nektann a fully-fleshed character, and not just an obstacle for Tahu to melt. It certainly would be best placed before Journey's End, but it relies on the reader knowing Krika from 2008. Maybe it could be placed post-2008, or during 2009?

 

Most other stories can be easily read 'after the fact' and don't introduce concepts or characters that otherwise 'improve' their canon appearances. Merciless Shadows is a fun introduction to Pridak and Mahri Nui, but not one that we necessarily needed. Delaying the Inevitable and Crystal Knowledge rely on the reader knowing numerous characters introduced in 2008.

You could pop All That Glitters after Mutran Chronicles, as it adds depth to Spiriah, but does rely on the reader being familiar with the Makuta. Certainty could be placed between Shadows in the Sky Chapters 6 and 7, as it's set immediately before Icarax goes to Karda Nui? I wouldn't say these ones greatly improve 2008 in any real way, but it might be a fun experiment.

In any case, I fully expect that if TuragaNuva adds these stories to Biological Chronicle, that they'll be added as a 'bonus' book. In which case, the only real recommendation that I can make is to place Lesovikk's Hiatus together, in Chronological Order (A Chronicle, Jovan's Test, Of Rahi and Toa).

 

I've made notes on the chronology of these stories if they are wanted.


Edited by ArchAngelleofJustice, Nov 25 2018 - 10:14 PM.

  • 1

Stories I wrote

 

Parts of a Whole Series: An Alternate Ending

Part 1: Fight for Freedom                        Wisps of Memory

Part 2: Army of One (In Progress)


Short Stories:
The Great Takara          
Tale of the Toa Stones          Masks


#298 Offline TuragaNuva

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Posted Dec 13 2018 - 05:09 PM

ArchAngelleofJustice: I am super thankful for all your help with those un-canonized fan stories. I've now read through all of them, and am deciding what to do with them.


Hey there TuragaNuva! First of all, this compilation is incredible! I'm so glad and grateful there are fans like you and the other contributors to the project who made this a thing :). I never got into the story while G1 was still around (I started buying sets in mid 2009, and only knew of the movies at the time via my neighbor friends), and being able to do that while getting back into Bionicle this year has been awesome. Anyways, I just finished the epilogue ~2 days ago, and I've been meaning to let you know about two typos/errors I found reading through Destiny. Here they are:
 
 
i4T72CM.png
This one I believe is just a missing period.
 
 
 
QtVLPua.png
This one was honestly pretty funny to discover :P. Even though I don't read manga, it made me wonder what a manga/anime style Mata Nui would look like...
 
 
That's all!

Thanks, those should now be fixed!

  • 0

#299 Offline ArchAngelleofJustice

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Posted Dec 18 2018 - 06:06 PM

I noticed today that in the text of Beware the Bohrok, Onua finds Lewa's mask sitting near a pool of acid. But in the comic, he tells Lewa that he retrieved the mask from a swarm of Lehvak-Va. It seems like a bit of a contradiction.


  • 2

Stories I wrote

 

Parts of a Whole Series: An Alternate Ending

Part 1: Fight for Freedom                        Wisps of Memory

Part 2: Army of One (In Progress)


Short Stories:
The Great Takara          
Tale of the Toa Stones          Masks


#300 Offline Adventurer

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Posted Dec 19 2018 - 08:37 PM

I noticed today that in the text of Beware the Bohrok, Onua finds Lewa's mask sitting near a pool of acid. But in the comic, he tells Lewa that he retrieved the mask from a swarm of Lehvak-Va. It seems like a bit of a contradiction.

 

If I remember correctly these sorts of discrepancies between different representations of the same event in different media weren't uncommon back then. :P I think this was before Greg had as absolute control over the story as he did in later years?


Edited by Adventurer, Dec 19 2018 - 08:38 PM.

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photo-50441.gif

 

Credit to Pohuaki for the awesome banner! ^_^

 


#301 Offline ArchAngelleofJustice

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Posted Dec 19 2018 - 10:10 PM

Oh yeah, I do understand that the early years were a little less organized in their story. It was in case TuragaNuva decided he would like to attempt to 'remove' these conflicting narratives from the story in some way.


  • 0

Stories I wrote

 

Parts of a Whole Series: An Alternate Ending

Part 1: Fight for Freedom                        Wisps of Memory

Part 2: Army of One (In Progress)


Short Stories:
The Great Takara          
Tale of the Toa Stones          Masks


#302 Offline Darth Jaller

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Posted Dec 20 2018 - 07:39 AM

If Greg's word tends to take priority, would that make the comic the 'more canon' source to stick with? Particularly since Hapaka's novel wasn't written until a year or so after the events took place?

 

Or, alternately: Onua did find the mask discarded, but misremembered the facts when he found Lewa and mistakenly told him a different story to what had actually happened. Which is, I suppose, possible... if not an altogether satisfying explanation.


Edited by Darth Jaller, Dec 20 2018 - 07:39 AM.

  • 0

LhikanLow.gif

 

"New legends awake, but old lessons must be remembered.

For that is the way

of the BIONICLE."

 

---

Corpus Rahkshi bio: Blizzard

Skyrise bios: Tarutu, Kastir


#303 Offline TuragaNuva

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Posted Dec 20 2018 - 04:12 PM

Okay, firstly: new updates! Someone PM'd me some issues they found, and I've fixed them:

 

Book 4:

  • And you should hear Nokama translating Kikanalo. (missing end quotation mark)

  • Vakama knelt over the dying Turaga, saying. “That was meant for me.” (extra period)

  • immedietly moved to challenge it, but (misspelling)

  • The next morning, Whenua returned to find the Archives under lock down (unnecessary space in lockdown)

 

Book 5:

  • Nuiu (should be Nuju)

  • grief stricken over the change (missing hyphen in grief-stricken)

 

Book 6:

  • Rahkshi, huh?” said Reidak (missing quotation mark)

  • Missing I in “I thought saw someone in the trees.” on comic page

 

Book 8:

  • arrived - yet another Toa, though the  others (extra space before others)

  • who found the Rahi he sought. Spotting  it (extra space after Spotting)

  • confess--I felt nothing. They had brought this upon themselves. (dash is wrong)

  • Although Ignika  could not die (extra space after Ignika)

 

Book 9:

  • Thormax (misspelling of Thornax on first page of Secret of Certavus, only in Complete versions of Book 9 and full collection)

  • “All journey’s must come to an end, but this time (unnecessary apostrophe)

 

I'm happy to provide more details on these fixes if anyone wants/needs them.

 

Second, an update on those contest-winning fan-written stories: I read through all of them, made notes of any conflicts with existing canon, and then made a post over on the TTV boards asking Greg if he could make a final decision on which ones (if any) are considered canon (since he can now communicate with the fan community again). I'll let everybody know when/if he responds.

 

Third:

I noticed today that in the text of Beware the Bohrok, Onua finds Lewa's mask sitting near a pool of acid. But in the comic, he tells Lewa that he retrieved the mask from a swarm of Lehvak-Va. It seems like a bit of a contradiction.

Oh dang, thanks for pointing that out. It's tricky to deal with, but I have two ideas for how to do so:

1) Add the sentence "In the brush beyond, he could see a small troop of Lehvak Va departing, seemingly having left the mask behind" (or something similar) between "It was a Kanohi mask – Lewa’s mask, lying on the ground." and "He bent to pick it up, not liking what this might mean." This is more of my own writing than I'd like, but it allows for both the book and the comic to technically be true.

2) Change Onua's line in the comic from "I took it away from a party of Lehvak Va" to "I found it in a puddle of Lehvak acid." Editing comic text can get messy, but I've done it several times before, and this option uses less of my own writing - it's just changing the comic to say what the book says.

I'd really appreciate hearing people's opinions on which option I should take (or if they have any better ideas)! I'd like to have this fixed ASAP.


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#304 Offline ArchAngelleofJustice

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Posted Dec 20 2018 - 05:29 PM

Awesome work, and thanks for detailing those changes.

 

 

Add the sentence "In the brush beyond, he could see a small troop of Lehvak Va departing, seemingly having left the mask behind" (or something similar)

 

I feel like this still makes Onua out to be a bit of a liar when he says "I took it away from a part of Lehvak Va." If it were Lewa or Tahu I could chalk it up to them purposely exaggerating, but that doesn't seem in character for Onua.

Even though I kind of like the detail of the Lehvak Va carrying masks away, it brings up the question of what exactly they were doing with the masks of all the Matoran they captured. Presumably, they'd either carry all the Kanohi away to throw into a pool of acid, or they'd just leave them where they dropped. If all of the Le-Koronans must find their masks again, it makes more sense to me that the Bohrok would just leave them where they are - in the dirt.

 

"I found it in a puddle of Lehvak acid."

I feel like this is the better option but perhaps "I found it near a puddle of Lehvak acid." would be better again? I mean, if it's in a puddle of Lehvak acid, wouldn't it have melted? (And if Kanohi masks don't melt from acid, then are the Lehvak as threatening to the Toa as they're said to be?)


Edited by ArchAngelleofJustice, Dec 20 2018 - 05:29 PM.

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#305 Offline Planetperson

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Posted Dec 21 2018 - 04:27 AM

The comics are "supposed" to supersede the books when there is a conflict, and I'm not a fan of inserting new text in general. I would prefer to fix it by deleting things. This is a tricky situation, though.

 

One idea is to cut off Chapter 12 at "Suddenly Onua stopped, seeing something glinting golden in the sunlight." Get rid of the sentence "It was a Kanohi mask – Lewa’s mask, lying on the ground abandoned. He bent to pick it up, not liking what this might mean." Combine the rest with Chapter 14, starting with "He walked on toward the outskirts of the treetop town. As he drew closer, Onua became aware of a sound somewhere ahead."


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#306 Offline TuragaNuva

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Posted Dec 21 2018 - 08:32 AM

Awesome work, and thanks for detailing those changes.

 

 

Add the sentence "In the brush beyond, he could see a small troop of Lehvak Va departing, seemingly having left the mask behind" (or something similar)

 

I feel like this still makes Onua out to be a bit of a liar when he says "I took it away from a part of Lehvak Va." If it were Lewa or Tahu I could chalk it up to them purposely exaggerating, but that doesn't seem in character for Onua.

Even though I kind of like the detail of the Lehvak Va carrying masks away, it brings up the question of what exactly they were doing with the masks of all the Matoran they captured. Presumably, they'd either carry all the Kanohi away to throw into a pool of acid, or they'd just leave them where they dropped. If all of the Le-Koronans must find their masks again, it makes more sense to me that the Bohrok would just leave them where they are - in the dirt.

 

"I found it in a puddle of Lehvak acid."

I feel like this is the better option but perhaps "I found it near a puddle of Lehvak acid." would be better again? I mean, if it's in a puddle of Lehvak acid, wouldn't it have melted? (And if Kanohi masks don't melt from acid, then are the Lehvak as threatening to the Toa as they're said to be?)

Both good points. Honestly, it might be best to omit the mention of acid entirely and just say "I found it abandoned outside Le-Koro."

 

The comics are "supposed" to supersede the books when there is a conflict, and I'm not a fan of inserting new text in general. I would prefer to fix it by deleting things. This is a tricky situation, though.

 

One idea is to cut off Chapter 12 at "Suddenly Onua stopped, seeing something glinting golden in the sunlight." Get rid of the sentence "It was a Kanohi mask – Lewa’s mask, lying on the ground abandoned. He bent to pick it up, not liking what this might mean." Combine the rest with Chapter 14, starting with "He walked on toward the outskirts of the treetop town. As he drew closer, Onua became aware of a sound somewhere ahead."

I definitely prefer removing conflicts via omission as well. The problem here is that it would feel weird if the text described Onua simply being worried because he hadn't seen Lewa for a while (with no mention of finding Lewa's mask), and then him pulling out the mask later and saying it was how he knew Lewa was in trouble.

 

Omitting "He hadn't admitted it to the others, but Onua was truly worried about the Air Toa. Lewa had been gone a long time – Onua was starting to wonder if it hadn’t been foolish to separate in the first place" might help, as it makes the urgency and reason for Onua's search a bit more vague (making the revelation that he has Lewa's mask feel less jarring) - what do you think?

 

EDIT: I am dumb. See my next post.


Edited by TuragaNuva, Dec 21 2018 - 08:53 AM.

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#307 Offline Toatapio Nuva

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Posted Dec 21 2018 - 08:33 AM

I have to say I like Planetperson's idea the best. It would mean minimal editing of the source material, while removing the contradiction. Of course, it would also make chapter 10 really short, but that could be amended by combining chapters 10 and 11 and placing it after New Invention Saves Onu-Koro (I think that order would make the most sense). That would mean a lot of editing, which is probably a pain to do, but I suppose leaving the chapters separate wouldn't be THAT bad either.

 

EDIT: Ninja'd.

 

I don't think it would be necessary to omit the part about Onua being worried. Surely he could already be concerned at that point, but only upon discovering the mask become aware of actual danger?


Edited by Toatapio Nuva, Dec 21 2018 - 08:35 AM.

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#308 Offline TuragaNuva

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Posted Dec 21 2018 - 08:53 AM

Oh, I see now - apologies, I misunderstood Planetperson's suggestion. I misread that saying to omit "Suddenly Onua stopped, seeing something glinting golden in the sunlight," rather than cut off the text after that point - meaning that the implication would be that he had already found the mask before the events of this chapter. That's what I get for reading these things when I haven't fully woken up yet  :P

 

Now that I understand, I like that suggestion a lot, actually. Let me make sure I we're on the same page, though - the idea is that the rest of the text from chapter 11 would be moved to the first non-comic page of chapter 12, right? You're both using chapter numbers that don't seem correct to me, so maybe I'm still misunderstanding something.

 

EDIT: Also, Toatapio - New Invention Saves Onu-Koro is way back between chapters 6 and 7. Did you mean a different WoH entry?


Edited by TuragaNuva, Dec 21 2018 - 09:26 AM.

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#309 Offline Planetperson

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Posted Dec 21 2018 - 10:17 AM

I think you have the right idea. Sorry, I got the chapter numbers mixed up! I'm using the chapter numbers from Standard Book 2. Just to be clear:

 

Chapter 11

... same ...

"Suddenly Onua stopped, seeing something glinting golden in the sunlight."

End Chapter 11 here

 

Chapter 12

 

Chapter 13

"He walked on toward the outskirts of the treetop town. As he drew closer, Onua became aware of a sound somewhere ahead."

... rest of Chapter 11 + Chapter 13


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#310 Offline Toatapio Nuva

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Posted Dec 21 2018 - 10:31 AM

I was using the chapter numbers from the text-only version, without realizing they were different from the other versions... sorry for the confusion. :P

 

By the way, in "He walked on toward the outskirts of the treetop town" the "He" should probably be changed to Onua, since it would be the start of a new chapter.


Edited by Toatapio Nuva, Dec 21 2018 - 10:32 AM.

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#311 Offline TuragaNuva

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Posted Dec 21 2018 - 11:29 AM

Okay, I've now updated Book 2.

 

I did the text edit that Planetperson described, removing "It was a Kanohi mask – Lewa’s mask, lying on the ground abandoned. He bent to pick it up, not liking what this might mean" entirely, and moving all of the Chapter 11 text after that line to the beginning of the next chunk of text. Per Toatapio's suggestion, I also changed the first "he" in the first sentence of the relocated text to "Onua" (I also changed the first usage of "Onua" in the next sentence to "he"). This makes the text more readable as the beginning of a chapter.

 

I also moved the split between Chapters 11 and 12 to after the comic section with Tahu and Kopaka (previously Chapter 12 began with that comic section). This evens out the chapter lengths, and has the added bonus of making the line "Kopaka's discovery will have to wait for the next chapter" actually true, as the reveal of his discovery is now in the immediately following chapter.

 

Also, Toatapio, I'm actually really glad that you were consulting the Text-only version of Book 2 instead of the comic version, as you inadvertently pointed out an inconsistency between them that I accidentally left ages ago: I moved the WoH entry "New Invention Saves Onu-Koro" to an earlier location (between chapters 6 and 7) way back, but apparently forgot to ever make the change in the text-only version. I've now moved it in the text-only version to match.

 

One last thing: added a missing end quote at the end of the last line of Chapter 6.


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#312 Offline brunocar

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Posted Dec 28 2018 - 05:45 PM

I just found out about this awesome project but i ran into a problem when trying to read it on my kindle, its on PDF format, which works just fine but the font is really small, but when i try to convert it to MOBI to get text scaling, the PNG images (comics seem to work just fine even if i cant see them in color) become huge black squares, anyone know if there is an EPUB or MOBI version of this?


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#313 Offline TuragaNuva

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Posted Dec 28 2018 - 05:52 PM

I just found out about this awesome project but i ran into a problem when trying to read it on my kindle, its on PDF format, which works just fine but the font is really small, but when i try to convert it to MOBI to get text scaling, the PNG images (comics seem to work just fine even if i cant see them in color) become huge black squares, anyone know if there is an EPUB or MOBI version of this?


Sorry, there currently isn't any kind of eBook version of this project, but it's on my to-do list. I'm waiting until I've gotten through all the feedback I've received and proofread everything myself (I'd like to get any needed changes done first, so that I don't have to make them in both the PDFs and the eBook files). If you'd like to know when it's available, you can follow this topic for updates. I can't promise it'll be any time soon, though, unfortunately.

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#314 Offline brunocar

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Posted Dec 28 2018 - 06:02 PM

 

I just found out about this awesome project but i ran into a problem when trying to read it on my kindle, its on PDF format, which works just fine but the font is really small, but when i try to convert it to MOBI to get text scaling, the PNG images (comics seem to work just fine even if i cant see them in color) become huge black squares, anyone know if there is an EPUB or MOBI version of this?


Sorry, there currently isn't any kind of eBook version of this project, but it's on my to-do list. I'm waiting until I've gotten through all the feedback I've received and proofread everything myself (I'd like to get any needed changes done first, so that I don't have to make them in both the PDFs and the eBook files). If you'd like to know when it's available, you can follow this topic for updates. I can't promise it'll be any time soon, though, unfortunately.

 

its cool, thanks for the quick answer, if it serves for anything the comic pages in book 1 like great and readable on my kindle paperwhite model 1.


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#315 Offline ArchAngelleofJustice

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Posted Jan 10 2019 - 03:46 AM

From book 8:

>Onua got Gali to her feet. Gorast scrambled to hers at the same time. “Be careful,” whispered Gali. “She’s dangerous.”

"Be careful," onward should be on a new line.


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Stories I wrote

 

Parts of a Whole Series: An Alternate Ending

Part 1: Fight for Freedom                        Wisps of Memory

Part 2: Army of One (In Progress)


Short Stories:
The Great Takara          
Tale of the Toa Stones          Masks


#316 Offline TuragaNuva

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Posted Jan 10 2019 - 08:43 AM

From book 8:

>Onua got Gali to her feet. Gorast scrambled to hers at the same time. “Be careful,” whispered Gali. “She’s dangerous.”

"Be careful," onward should be on a new line.

It's written this way (without the new paragraph/line) in the original text (page 56 of Swamp of Secrets), and you only need to add a paragraph break for speech if the speaker is changing. This is the first speech in that paragraph, so no break is required.

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#317 Offline Chip Wiseman

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Posted Jan 22 2019 - 04:28 PM

I've started reading this all from the beginning with some friends, so I'll keep you posted with any errors/points of confusion along the way. So far, up to the end of Book 1.
For reference, I'm using the Complete Collection, "Complete" edition, up to date as of December 21st 2018.

Book 1, Chapter 23 (page 104)
Everything from "Then it is settled" to "I think... that 'Charge!' is not a plan"
This section wasn't in the original Tale of the Toa and feels awkwardly placed, specifically with how it leads into the next section. I'm not sure where this section comes from, but the moment it builds to (the raid on the Nui-Jaga nest in the jungle) is never resolved and it just hard cuts to Pohatu's group recovering a mask from a lone Jaga in Po-Wahi. Also, since Kopaka both ends this section and starts the next one by telling Lewa that a plan is foolish, the boundary between the two sections is blurred. On a first read, it seems like the two sections just tell one continuous scene, but that doesn't make sense either.
I vote to cut the section entirely, unless there is an existing second half to that scene that got lost in the shuffle.
 

Using all of his strength, Wairuha managed to rip the Manas free and fling him against the wall.

Should be "fling it against the wall" as the Manas is the one being flung and is always referred to as "it".
 

“OK, girl,” I say to myself. “Let’s go!”

Should be "I say to Puku." or, "I say to the crab." as Takua is clearly addressing Puku and not just speaking to himself.
 

Takua barely manages to avoid falling into the nest, but notices that Matau trapped inside it with the Kewa chicks.

Should be "but notices that Matau is trapped inside it" or "but notices Matau trapped inside it"

Hope that helps! As an aside, I gotta say that re-reading from the beginning really highlights how rough the early story is. Even when the grammar is perfect, the characterisation is very barebones and the Tales of the Tohunga transcription really messes with the canon as established by the comics and books. Good call making that epilogue optional!


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Sometimes, I look at my desk, and think, "What am I doing with my life?"

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Then, I go back to my videogames.

I used to be known as 'Gresh's Thornax...Ouchy!!!', before I realised what a silly name it was.

Other previous names include Lihkan435 and Chip Biscuit.


#318 Offline ArchAngelleofJustice

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Posted Jan 26 2019 - 06:52 PM

Hey, TuragaNuva, I think it was discussed in a bit more detail early on, but I've been thinking about taking a look at Vrahno's translation of the Hungarian Tale of the Toa and altering some of the details to make a canon-compliant version of it. There are a lot of cool details and scenes in it that I like, but the translation is a little rough (with random changes in tense, repeated treespeak instances and Out of Character exclamations) that I'd need to neaten up, not to mention incorrect weapon and mask details being mentioned.

If I made this translation, would you consider adding it to Biological Chronicle - or should I make a copy of my own and throw the comics in?


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Stories I wrote

 

Parts of a Whole Series: An Alternate Ending

Part 1: Fight for Freedom                        Wisps of Memory

Part 2: Army of One (In Progress)


Short Stories:
The Great Takara          
Tale of the Toa Stones          Masks


#319 Offline TuragaNuva

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Posted Feb 06 2019 - 12:30 PM

I've started reading this all from the beginning with some friends, so I'll keep you posted with any errors/points of confusion along the way. So far, up to the end of Book 1.
For reference, I'm using the Complete Collection, "Complete" edition, up to date as of December 21st 2018.

Book 1, Chapter 23 (page 104)
Everything from "Then it is settled" to "I think... that 'Charge!' is not a plan"
This section wasn't in the original Tale of the Toa and feels awkwardly placed, specifically with how it leads into the next section. I'm not sure where this section comes from, but the moment it builds to (the raid on the Nui-Jaga nest in the jungle) is never resolved and it just hard cuts to Pohatu's group recovering a mask from a lone Jaga in Po-Wahi. Also, since Kopaka both ends this section and starts the next one by telling Lewa that a plan is foolish, the boundary between the two sections is blurred. On a first read, it seems like the two sections just tell one continuous scene, but that doesn't make sense either.
I vote to cut the section entirely, unless there is an existing second half to that scene that got lost in the shuffle.

It comes from the Bionicle Style Guide (as do some other scenes in that section), and the idea was that those scenes could slot in well there, since it's a sort of montage of scenes of the Toa finding the rest of the masks. There was some debate a while back as to whether that specific scene was too confusing to the reader - if memory serves, the final decision was to keep it because it is referenced in '08. I can definitely see the cause for your confusion at the end of the scene, though: the scene break ended up lined up with a page break, making it unclear that there's been a scene transition. I will definitely add a hard break (the three asterisks, * * *) after the page break for clarity. Do you think this is enough to make it readable? If not, there is the possibility of removing it from the "Standard" versions and only having in the "Complete" ones.

If anyone would like to share their opinions on this, I'd appreciate it.
 

 

Using all of his strength, Wairuha managed to rip the Manas free and fling him against the wall.

Should be "fling it against the wall" as the Manas is the one being flung and is always referred to as "it".

 

Makes sense, I'll fix that.
 

 

“OK, girl,” I say to myself. “Let’s go!”

Should be "I say to Puku." or, "I say to the crab." as Takua is clearly addressing Puku and not just speaking to himself.

 

I'm inclined to leave this as-is (though if others disagree, please speak up!). The intent of the phrasing is to suggest that what Takua is saying to Puku doesn't really matter - he's just saying it anyway (like when people talk to their pets, even though they know their pets don't understand). Hence he's really just saying it to himself, not to Puku. The only issue with this is that, as we see later (in '03), Puku does seem to understand most, if not all, of what Takua says - but I think it's easy to just assume that in '01, Takua didn't know how well Ussals can understand Matoran language (or perhaps that Puku hadn't learned to understand him that well yet).
 

 

Takua barely manages to avoid falling into the nest, but notices that Matau trapped inside it with the Kewa chicks.

Should be "but notices that Matau is trapped inside it" or "but notices Matau trapped inside it"

 

That makes sense, I'll fix it.
 
 

Hey, TuragaNuva, I think it was discussed in a bit more detail early on, but I've been thinking about taking a look at Vrahno's translation of the Hungarian Tale of the Toa and altering some of the details to make a canon-compliant version of it. There are a lot of cool details and scenes in it that I like, but the translation is a little rough (with random changes in tense, repeated treespeak instances and Out of Character exclamations) that I'd need to neaten up, not to mention incorrect weapon and mask details being mentioned.

If I made this translation, would you consider adding it to Biological Chronicle - or should I make a copy of my own and throw the comics in?

I'd probably want to see it before making a firm decision either way, but I'm inclined to say I wouldn't include it. It's not the work as it was meant to be seen. If I did include it, it would probably be in a separate version of Book 1.



EDIT 2/14/19: Made some fixes to Book 1 based on feedback from Chip and the folks at the Beaverhouse. Details:

  • Fixed a passage that had been changed in the first chapter of Book 1 (right after "Near it he saw several components lying in the sand"): in the original text, Tahu finds his sword in two pieces, but the compilation text had been modified to say it was just one piece (Toatapio, did you do this? I don't remember making this change). The passage now reads: "Two turned out to be blades, shaped into the form of leaping red flames. They fitted together into a sword, the handle sitting comfortably in his clawed hand."
  • Added a hard break (*      *      *) after the passage ending with "I think... that 'Charge!' is not a plan" to improve readability (as discussed above). If people think I should do more changes here, let me know!

  • Changed "him" to "it" in the line "Using all of his strength, Wairuha managed to rip the Manas free and fling him against the wall."

  • Removed "that" from "Takua barely manages to avoid falling into the nest, but notices that Matau trapped inside it with the Kewa chicks."

That's it for now. Should be some updates to Book 3 soon, though.


EDIT 2/20/19: Those Book 3 updates I mentioned have now been added! Details:

  • There is now a written version of the 2003 flash game "The Legend Continues" (made to promote the Mask of Light movie) included in the Complete version of Book 3
  • "I emerged in Onu-Koro and made my way here. - added missing quote mark at end of sentence
  • "the Manas saw the molten lava closing in on upon them" - removed extra "on"
  • "Another steep cliff side still lay between him and the top of the volcano!" - removed space in "cliffside"
  • "'J-Jaller?' he called, racing forward. 'JALLER! Oof -'" - dash following "oof" was getting pushed to new line, which looked weird. I moved the "oof" to the next line with it, which looks cleaner
  • Fixed a typo in one of the last comic pages (in issue 15, the "epilogue): Vakama says "And so, here was" instead of "And so, there was" - this is now fixed

FOLLOW-UP 2/20/19 EDIT: Just made one more Book 3 fix! There were a few places in MNOGII where "Koro" was capitalized, even though it wasn't being used as part of a village's name. I've changed those 3 instances to lower-case.


Edited by TuragaNuva, Feb 20 2019 - 02:16 PM.

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#320 Offline Toatapio Nuva

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Posted Feb 21 2019 - 03:44 PM

 

Fixed a passage that had been changed in the first chapter of Book 1 (right after "Near it he saw several components lying in the sand"): in the original text, Tahu finds his sword in two pieces, but the compilation text had been modified to say it was just one piece (Toatapio, did you do this? I don't remember making this change).

 

I have no memory of making such a change, but it's certainly likely that it was my fault, considering that the book type-ups came from me. Perhaps I was somehow bothered by the sword being in two pieces? I really have no idea at this point... :notsure:


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