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Phantoms: BZP Fanfic Exchange

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Hey everybody! This fic is for (Daedalus)! Since I don't post here often, I'd like for only (Daedalus) to post criticisms since this is for them and if they want anything different I'd like to hear their voice!

 

Phantoms

 

“I shouldn’t be here,” Gali thought, narrowly dodging a blast from an unknown source. She crouched through the halls of the once-abandoned outpost, her hooks ready in hand. Rounding the corner, she found herself face to face with a blaster aimed to fire. “I really should not be here.”


***


“Well, Gali, who else from our team is more suited?” Tahu growled, his fist clenched on the table. “Our team is split up, sister. Onua is gathering Toa, Kopaka and Pohatu haven’t been seen in weeks, and Lewa has vanished entirely.”


“Yes, brother, I am aware, but-”


“But what? We’ve been shattered and separated. This mission can’t be trusted with any other team. You know how dangerous the Makuta are.”


“All too well,” Gali thought, her memories surfacing once again to haunt her. “Tahu, I implore you; somebody else must be suited better for this. You know what happened last time I was left alone with the Makuta... Furthermore, this could potentially be a false alarm.”


“Then all the better to send you, sister.” Tahu placed his arm on her shoulder, his solemn expression unwavering. “If it were up to me, you know I would never send you alone. But-”


“But duty awaits, yes,” she chuckled. “You’ve always been a good leader, Tahu. I trust you.”


***



Gali flipped her hooks in the air, knocking the being holding the blaster down. She could recognize the make, a Zamor launcher from back on Voya Nui. Without a moment’s pause, the blaster was in her hand and she was on her feet. “Who are you?” She commanded, taking aim at her assailant.


“I- I’m just making a trade!” The figure took off their head, their head covered in a loose-fitting helmet. “I meant no harm, I swear. I’m just an agori looking to make ends meet.”


“With stolen goods? Where did you get this?”


“Somebody gave it to me to bring here, I- I’m so sorry,” The agori started to weep, taking her helmet off. “It’s been so hard, and I just-”


“Shh, shh, it’s okay.” Gali knelt down, grabbing the young villager’s hand. “We can send a group to your village to-” The blade broke though her hearlight with ease, the facade of the agori fading to reveal an all too familiar face. “Krika!” The last thing she saw before her vision faded was his claw reaching for her.


---


*GASP* Gali suddenly woke, her eyes adjusting to the bright surroundings. She felt her chest, and noticed that her heartlight was intact. Looking around, she noticed that she had woken up in a branch of a large tree. Through the leaves she could make out large stalactites in some sort of giant dome. “Oh no… it can’t be.” Looking below, her suspicions were confirmed; the swamp bubbled all around the roots of the tree, the air of Karda Nui filling her senses once more. Feeling around, her blaster seemed to have been misplaced. Her armour, too, lacked the modifications originally made for this mission. “What is going on here?


“More than you could wrap your mind around.” The haunting voice of Krika probed her mind once again, an eerie reminder of her now grim situation. He floated down from above the tree, landed like a feather on the large branch in front of Gali. “I gave you a chance to flee, I gave you mercy… why did you not take it?” He asked, his voice dripping with poison and sorrow. “You could have escaped this loss.”


“Loss?”


“Don’t play the fool around me, Gali. Your team fell trying to enter the Codrex. You were about to leave Karda Nui, but turned around at the last minute to try and help them.”


“I would have- I never did leave my team! We succeeded in bringing the Great Spirit back to life, we-”


“When?! When did you succeed? You let him DIE! And now we all suffer the consequences.” As if on cue, one of the stalactites fell from the ceiling, water rushing in from the fresh hole. Around the dome there appeared to be water rushing in at a higher rate than usual, filling up the swamp with more mutagenic sludge. “Keeping Mata Nui alive was all your team had to do, and you failed.”


“Well it would have been much easier without a team of Makuta trying to impede our progress at every turn,” Gali snapped back. Standing, she tried to make a move for the Makuta’s stored weapon. He quickly grabbed her wrist in his claw, hoisting her over the rising water.


“I wouldn’t try that if I were you. If we want to survive we need to work together.”


Work together?” She grimaced at the thought. “If it’s true though, and my brothers really did not open the Codrex...” Gali propped herself back onto the ledge, and shook her hand free from the loose grasp. “Okay. Alright. We can work together. But don’t think this will ever change my mind on you and your brethren.”


“There’s more to the Makuta than you think, young one. Now, put this back on and follow me.” Krika tossed her adaptive armour over his shoulder, along with the Nynrah Ghost Blaster she had been using. Without a word, Gali got ready and took to the skies after Krika.


---


The two flew in silence for the greater part of the day. All of the apparent exits had either been sealed or were being flooded with the water from around Mahri Nui. “Why have you not simply swam back out? You’ve already been changed, surely nothing else could happen.”


“My brothers and sister have tried already, but none of them survived.”


“And you’re sure they didn’t just keep going once they were through?”


“If you’d rather look at the grotesque corpses they left I can gladly lead you there, but-”


“No!” Gali shouted, taken back by her own volume. “No… I believe you. But, where are my brothers?”


“Gone.”


“...gone?”


“Gone! Vanished! They simply disappeared after it all went down. You were apart from them, and so either by some grand design or sheer stupid luck you’re still around.” Krika turned back, his eyes seeming strained from the pressure his new role had placed on him. “If there’s a way out we won’t find it by-” Krika was cut off by a large form attacking him; a mutated beast of some sort with strikingly familiar markings.


“Krika, is that… thing, the other Makuta?” As soon as she spoke, the best turned around, all eyes focusing on her. The creature was a mass of flesh and biomechanical parts, limbs emerging from places they shouldn’t and new ones seeming to squirm beneath the skin. Many of the arms were around Krika, pinning him down and pulling his body apart. Gali could hear his limbs crack and quake, seconds away from being torn. “This is okay. I can let him stay there, and then save my team from the Codrex.” However, another voice lingered in the back of her mind. “It isn’t the Toa way to let another being die, even one on the side of darkness.” Time seemed to stand still as she watched Krika struggle and writhe in agony. She held her hand on her blaster, and took aim at the beast.


“Gali… Please… Do it now,” Krika gasped out.

One shot. That’s it. One and it’s over, and-” *FWOOSH* Her energy flew through the barrel, taking the shape of a fist. It knocked the beast into the air, and Krika quickly leapt from where he had been pinned. Without hesitation, he fired a bolt of shadow and ripped the creature to shreds. “I thought you said they were dead!”


“Now that you’ve learned the truth, does it change how you feel on them?” Silence. Gali wouldn’t admit it, but she knew he was right. Regardless, their co-operation had lead to the death of a creature that may not have deserved it, and Gali had to live with the choice she had made. “We don’t have any time to waste. Who knows whether they’ll be brought back from eternal slumber or if they’ve died their last, and I know I don’t want to be here to find out.


---


After more searching, the duo had exhausted every exit they could think of. “I don't’ understand,” Gali thought aloud. “We had won. Teridax was defeated, the war was over, the planets were together. What more could there have been?”


“What do you mean?” Krika inquired, setting down in one of the abandoned Av-Matoran villages. “You were simply dreaming, I’d imagine. Your consciousness thought you were about to die, and wanted to give you hope. Or you did die, and that was your existence in the life after this.”


“But it doesn’t make any sense! It wasn’t perfect, of course, but this wouldn’t be how it ends up. We had a destiny to fulfill, and-”


“Abandon the ideals that they used to speak of, sister.”


“Do not call me that, Makuta.” Gali lashed out, leering towards Krika. “You never had and never will have the right to call Toa your brethren.”


“Again, there is more to the Makuta than you know, but you’re not ready. Now, as I was saying, you must let go of unity, duty and destiny in this world. Praying for some saviour or believing that good things will happen because you’ve done good deeds is foolish. You make your own fate, and the one you’ve made here is failure.”


“No,” she whispered, slowly rising.”


“I beg your pardon?”


“No… No. No! You’re wrong! Just because something doesn’t go our way doesn’t mean we abandon all ideals.” Gali was on her feet now, staring down the Makuta in front of her. “Even in the face of great danger and no end in sight we always hold onto hope. We unite together, we fulfill our duty, and we have faith in the destiny that has been laid out for us. It may be easier for the Makuta to simply turn tail and run, but as a Toa I can’t throw everything to the wind. My brothers will know, more than you ever could.” Gali took to the air, heading towards the Codrex. She turned to take one last look at the Makuta who spared her life, but he had already vanished.


---


Arriving at the Codrex, Gali found the door wide open, contradictory to Krika’s previous statement. “Things don’t appear right in this world,” she said to herself. “Better safe than sorry.” Readying her blaster, she stepped inside. The quiet halls echoed her footsteps, the lights flickering on and off around the empty bases where the vehicles had been previously. She continued through the passageway, her vision straining against the darkness. As she round the last corner, she found 7 masks laying on the ground. “Brothers…” Sure enough, the masks matched those of her team, as well as Takanuva and the newly formed Toa of Life. Gali fell to her knees, the weight of the loss sinking in.


You’ve lost…” A voice whispered in her head. “No matter which foolish idea you dared to dream, you cannot escape reality. They suffered, all because of you.


“No! My brothers did not suffer. If they did indeed pass, I know that they did so with honour. And those who die with honour never go in fear.” She stood up, energy returning to her once more.  “Your shadows have plagued me ever since I’ve returned here, but you will not win. As long as I have my team with me, my spirit will never fade.” Turning to face the darkness, Gali readied her blaster. “And you will not win.” One blast, and the shadows faded. The hall was empty. “An illusion… A trick of the mind in this taxing universe.”


Gathering the masks, she placed the masks around the pedestal in the middle and sat to meditate.The world seemed to melt around her as she leapt through her mind and memories. She recalled the great battles she had fought with her brothers, and eased them through their passing. Pohatu, the swift. Lewa, the jovial. Kopaka, the aloof. Onua, the strong. And Tahu. Tahu, the proud. Opening her eyes, the masks had disappeared. Looking around gave no signs of an intruder, and yet she could feel a dark presence coalesce around her. She tried to call out to no avail, as her voice couldn’t be found. She felt the familiar feeling of drifting off into the unknown, and-


---


The heat buzzed around Gali as she woke. She found herself back in the abandoned outpost, no Agori or Makuta in sight. Rising to her feet, she felt lighter than usual. The air, usually sticky in the desert, had given way to something cooler, more calm. Dusting the sand from her armour, she continued her search through the base. “Nothing of any interest in here,” she noted, allowing herself a moment of peace in the dim halls. “I’m not sure what could have caused that awful dream… if it could even be counted as one. Something larger than us is always going on, regardless of how involved we wish to become.


---


“Sister! You return safely. Do you bring any news?” Tahu was in his regular spot, his demeanor the same as always. “You look shaken up. Was there something there?”


“No, brother,” she chuckled, “just shadows and phantoms.”

  • Upvote 3

BZPRPG:

Akamu, Toa of Ice :smilekohrak: :smilenuju: :smilekopakanu: :smilematoro: :akakunu: :kohrak: :matatu: :akaku: Talk to me about Destiny!
 

Ask me about stuttering and speech impediments!//Feel free to talk about Dungeons and Dragons with me!

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I like it!

 

That... sounds an inadequate response to such effort on your part, but trust me when I say I mean that. Is it perfect? No, but no one’s story will be, and I wouldn’t want it to be. Any flaws, small as they may be, just make the good qualities stand out, in my opinion.

 

I can’t say I understand the context of this story. Why are the Toa scattered? With Gali encountering and recognizing an Agori, this obviously takes place after the reformation of Spherus Magna. Why are the Toa in disarray, and why would they be in search of other Toa? And what is significant about this outpost that Tahu is so insistent that Gali scout it out, and why is Gali so reluctant to do so? To be fair, some of my confusion may be entirely due to the fact that I have an embarrassing lack of canon knowledge after about, oh, 2004 or so, so this might connect to existing story that I am, sadly, ignorant of.

 

Ultimately, though, what I have mentioned thus far is just framing for the meat of the story, and I found the meat to be the most enjoyable part. I always found Krika to be a fascinating and even tragic character, so the fact that he plays such a large role in this story is a plus. I wasn’t entirely sure of Krika’s motives, but I found his interactions with Gali interesting. I also wasn’t sure what caused the vision or whatever it was, but I found it an interesting plot device and I admit that I’m a sucker for such things, especially when they play on a character’s inner feelings and fears.

 

I enjoyed Gali’s moment of meditation and her memories of her brothers. I found it a touching moment, and an effective one. I also enjoyed the occasional references to a possible afterlife and even indirect references to (a) higher power(s). Though I am careful to talk about such things here due to rules against such talk, I hold a fondness for such topics. I guess what I’m trying to say is that you gained even more points because of that, even though I didn’t make any mention of such things in my sign up.

 

All in all, I enjoyed the story, and I can’t tell you how grateful and appreciative I am that you went out of your way spend the time and energy to write something for me. I know that sometimes it can be difficult to write, especially within the constraints of others’ requests, so I am grateful for your time and effort.

  • Upvote 1

My epic: For Them (Review Topic)

 

BZPRPG: Trauer and Faora

 

Bionifight Ultimate: Daedalus Drachoren and Von Worten Undtränen

 

The Elder Scrolls: Ashfall: K'Larn

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I'm really glad you liked the story! With your prompt I knew I should take a more serious route rather than comedy and I'm glad it worked!

 

For context, the Toa are separated in the state they were at the end of the storyline; Lewa on Bota Magna, Kopaka and Pohatu in the Red Star, and Onua training new Toa.

 

The outpost is merely just to take land back and make a better foothold in a new Toa order, perhaps, or just for them to gain a different area to examine. All up to your interpretation.

 

Gali is reluctant and she is fearful of losing herself or another, and although separating worked out well for the Artahka storyline her thoughts are that it could always be a different outcome.

 

And Krika! Honestly I love his character too, giving her the moment of mercy in the story and I wish they had done more with it in the plot which is what helped to write this heh... his motives are simply to get as many people on his side or working with him so he can potentially survive.

 

Thank you for the notes, though, I really appreciate them! And again I'm very happy that you liked the story!

I'm really glad you liked the story! With your prompt I knew I should take a more serious route rather than comedy and I'm glad it worked!

 

For context, the Toa are separated in the state they were at the end of the storyline; Lewa on Bota Magna, Kopaka and Pohatu in the Red Star, and Onua training new Toa.

 

The outpost is merely just to take land back and make a better foothold in a new Toa order, perhaps, or just for them to gain a different area to examine. All up to your interpretation.

 

Gali is reluctant and she is fearful of losing herself or another, and although separating worked out well for the Artahka storyline her thoughts are that it could always be a different outcome.

 

And Krika! Honestly I love his character too, giving her the moment of mercy in the story and I wish they had done more with it in the plot which is what helped to write this heh... his motives are simply to get as many people on his side or working with him so he can potentially survive.

 

Thank you for the notes, though, I really appreciate them! And again I'm very happy that you liked the story!


BZPRPG:

Akamu, Toa of Ice :smilekohrak: :smilenuju: :smilekopakanu: :smilematoro: :akakunu: :kohrak: :matatu: :akaku: Talk to me about Destiny!
 

Ask me about stuttering and speech impediments!//Feel free to talk about Dungeons and Dragons with me!

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