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KARDAS DRAGON appears!

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Duct tape, duct tape. I don't believe that I have mentioned how it's my favorite adhesive. Less messy than glue, portable, and useful for so many things...

...such as securing Infinity Stones to the backs of people's hands! I give a roll of tape to MoarBotar and suggest that he try to use it to stick his new MacGuffin/object of power to his hand.

(Never mind the possibility that the tape might catch fire! I've considered that, and decided that it probably won't happen. Probably.)


For Chima!

 

Skyrise Ascent: Akkitu
Former RPGs: Explota
 
Literary Works: The Mountain of Power

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In the midst of all of this I finally am able to make one cohesive thought:

"....But who has the high ground now?"

The Inika, as good as its' intentions might be, misunderstands my ponderings and transports us all to the high ground. Well, ground isn't exactly the right word seeing as we are now all several thousand feet in the air and falling FAST. Myself, Laval, MoarBotar, all others, the NPCs, the muffins and other pastries, Kardas, ambiguous infinity stone, duct tape, remaining jedi and clones, vader guy, and all other pop-culture references that have slipped their way in are now hurtling back toward the battle ground.

what a lovely view.....


move along.

nothing to see here.

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Ah, dangit.
"CHILDREN! WE FALL IN BODY, BUT IN SPIRIT WE DO NOTHING BUT RISE! ANY OF YE, ANY, WHO WISHES TO SUPPORT YOUR ONLY QUEEN, SACRIFICE YOUR INTEGRITY FOR OUR DELICIOUS LEGION'S FUTURE, I ORDER YOU: SHIELD ME!"

 Most of the muffins stop biting the NPCs to serve as a cushion for my person. They won't be enough though, and the ground is still solid, sharp ice...

"tension is rising... gravity hurts... everything's falling apart..." I start humming to myself, instinctively, at the opportunity for air-related BIO-humour.

But wait... what's happening? A small sector of the multi-pastries has also come to shield me! I keep humming, to see what happens.

As we fall, I see the bright orange bean I assume is the Soul Stone passing right through the roll of duct tape's hole. How beautiful...

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I'm Vrokdann in Skyrise: Ascent, and Luntep in the BZPRPG.

[sigfig in tunnel]

My profile pic's a cool little thing I made called Bettani. That thing up there's just a me inside a tunnel.

 

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The light of the sun (which may or may not be the earth's sun, as we are all in the sky of an undetermined planet) catches the surface of the Soul Stone, making it shine brilliantly. A hushed awe falls on those falling as they admire the rock. I take advantage of the distraction of the moment to try and swim through the air, trying to get myself directly above Lipuret. Munching on a thrashing pastry, I chuckle to myself. When we eventually hit the ground, I'll land in the same doughy cushion as the muffin overlord! Inspired by the musical nostalgia, I start quietly humming "da-NA. da-NA. da-NA. da-na-na-na-na." 

Nearby, an artistic photographer skydives out of a plane to take pictures of us all falling, making a statement about the capitalist consumerism that fuels pop culture. I sigh heavily. I get what he's doing, but still....

Vader Guy tries to eat a muffin, but is unable to get it past his helmet.

   


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The interdimensional Armada is also falling-into Earth. I brace for eminent doom between the impact and the mutineer stormtroopers and Daleks who have boarded the Reliant. Suddenly I see Kardas falling in front of the viewscreen I direct the ship on a collision course with Kardas, this might be the end for me but I am taking Kardas down with me. 

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I start shouting the Rise of Skywalker spoilers at the top of my lungs everywhere I go to cause people to aggressively chase me, even the land around me warps to go after me, leading them to the vast hole of what would be G2 Bionicle lore had it survived longer, only a few aren’t distracted enough to realize the trap, and are sucked into the  mysterious shadow realm. Now only the confusing pastries are left, all under my command for a show of such ingenuity.

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KARDAS DRAGON is idle, and everyone else is asleep.

I wake up. It's a mess. It's like the video for Feel Good inc. except rated TV-Y7 and of course made of LEGO elements.

What do we do now?

...

...

...I grab a muffin and toss it at KARDAS DRAGON's eyes.

Let's get this back on track, dangit.


I'm Vrokdann in Skyrise: Ascent, and Luntep in the BZPRPG.

[sigfig in tunnel]

My profile pic's a cool little thing I made called Bettani. That thing up there's just a me inside a tunnel.

 

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1 hour ago, Lip McKalmah said:

KARDAS DRAGON is idle, and everyone else is asleep.

I wake up. It's a mess. It's like the video for Feel Good inc. except rated TV-Y7 and of course made of LEGO elements.

What do we do now?

...

...

...I grab a muffin and toss it at KARDAS DRAGON's eyes.

Let's get this back on track, dangit.

Yes, let's.

I pick up a discarded duct tape roll and throw it in Kardas' general direction.

"Fetch, boy!"

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For Chima!

 

Skyrise Ascent: Akkitu
Former RPGs: Explota
 
Literary Works: The Mountain of Power

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I enjoy this revival

I rip the Ignika off my face and chuck it at Kardas (because all the cool kids are throwing stuff at Kardas it seems).

"Bandwagons are fun!"

Edited by kanohi of jello
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move along.

nothing to see here.

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The monster still lives!!!!! From my throne in Gondor where I am trying to rebuild this post apocalyptic world that looks alot like Jakku now. With the support of the religious leaders of medieval western and eastern Europe, I declare a holy crusade (the 10th if your keeping track of crusades) against Kardas.  Coming towards Kardas is now a mighty crusader army made up of Mandalorians, the Knights Hospitaller, the Teutonic Knights, the Order of the Holy Sepulcher, and the Knights Templar, who are marching into battle with the True Cross, the Ark of the Covenant, and the Holy Grail. 

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I hear a faint voice that seems to be calling me from a distance. I open my eyes and find myself lying in a shallow pool of water, wearing nothing but navy blue shorts. The small basin containing this water seems to be made from some kind of stone, with odd glowing blue runes on it. The voice becomes clearer: 

"...Link... ... ...Link... ...Wake up Link..." 

I sit up and look around. I seem to be in some sort of stasis chamber built into this cave. 

 

There has been a horrible mistake. 

 

I open my mouth, about to explain that I am not a certain legendary hero; but in a sudden burst of character consistency, I close my mouth shut and instead just smile mischievously. Let's see where this goes. 

I wander through this strange and foreign land, battling strange grunting monsters and meeting stranger toucan bards. I am charged with a sacred quest that will determine the fate of this world, which I completely ignore and spend countless hours trying to ride bears and scaring stable hands. I begin hearing rumors from fellow travelers of a sacred object, an ancient heirloom sealed away in the Korok Forest, once wielded by a powerful being whose legends are sung about. This shining talisman of hope and light can only be wielded by a hero who is strong enough to gather holy orbs to increase his power. 

Remembering the plight of my noble companions (and ya'll are great too) battling Kardas, I double check that my Olmak is still securely in my back pocket (it's a tad buggy now-at some point it got a huge crack along the left side, but I quickly jammed some sticky tac in there and put a bandaid on it. In theory it should work....), and set out to earn the trust of the guardian of the forest.  

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OOC: I'm taking control of Kardas for this post. I will write Kardas' actions in bold, so we know who is doing what. If you plan on controlling Kardas for the post, please do the same.

Kardas is able to catch the trash projectiles with his mouth. The massive dragon soon spits out a rain of fiery bullets.


For Chima!

 

Skyrise Ascent: Akkitu
Former RPGs: Explota
 
Literary Works: The Mountain of Power

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It seems I have forgotten my fireproof umbrella. Whoopsie! I run into a cluster of tall trees for cover.

 

...wait a minute.... there weren't trees here last time I checked! Most everything was completely decimated! It appears that in the time this battle has been stagnant the surrounding terrain has morphed into something.... new.

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move along.

nothing to see here.

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He still lives?????!!!!!!! There shall only be one answer this beast gets from me:

image.jpeg.86f5d56407d5accfab09b1329872bc19.jpeg

Sons of Gondor! Of Rohan! My brothers! I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me! A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship. But it is not this day. An hour of wolves and shattered shields when the age of Men comes crashing down! But it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good Earth, I bid you stand! Men of the West!- From Return of the King. Come those who would like to make one last desperate attempt to stop this monster, only one of us shall walk away from this battle.

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A crackling, unstable portal appears in the forest around Kanohi of Jello. I stumble out of it, visibly shaken. My clothes are charred black and also soaking wet. My right leg has been replaced by someone else's, but it is a reasonably sized replacement, so I move around with only a slight limp. I spit the Av-Matoran out of my mouth and curiously examine the unfamiliar wedding ring I'm wearing.

An Olmak patched together with sticky tac and bandaids does NOT work as well as I'd hoped...

Suddenly I notice Jello standing inches away from me. I squint at him, trying to remember where I am and what I am doing here. It all comes back to me like a massive wave: the ridiculously fierce battles (or were they fiercely ridiculous...?), Vader Guy, the space ship, the falling, the duct tape, and... my quest! 

I anxiously pull back my long rainbow beard and dig around in my leather satchel (which fortunately DOES belong to me). I breathe a sigh of relief as I feel the weapon I've brought back from Hyrule. I look up with a crazed gleam in my eye (more crazed than usual) and glare at Kardas looming ahead. With an arrogant and gloating grin on my face, I push past Jello and walk out of the forest. 

"!tsaebsseltiwuoy,htarwymecafdnaemoC!sadraK" 

My hand still in my satchel, I smack my lips, trying to get rid of the bad taste in my mouth. It seems I've forgotten how to talk properly... No matter. I'm sure my speech isn't too hard to figure out.

"!seenkruoyotuoygnirbyadyrevsihtnolliwnwodnetaebneebevahotdeveilebuoyesohT.uoykcomlliw,dekcomuoyesohT.uoyhsurclliw,dehsurcuoyesohT.neebevahstnarytrehtollasatsujdetaretilboylrettueblliwuoydna-foedamerastnarytllatahtffutsemasehtofedamerauoy,ebyamuoyhguohtlufrewoP!sdnalesehtfoslenitnesenitsednalcehtfoesirehtdnaelurcitopsedruoyfodneehtsisihT!eromonyasItub;elpoepdoogesehtrevoelurevisserppodnaleurcadeyojneevahuoy,enogneebevahIelihW"

....Too bad. That was a pretty inspirational speech.... 


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My cavalry forces begin their charge as I hold the mask of life aloft. Do we defeat Kardas finally or do I die in a blaze of glory? You decide!

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I have slept long... 

A sound in the distance finally awakens me. Whether it is man or beast I cannot tell. 

I manage to claw my way out of the shallow grave that I was recently contained in. Luckily the majority of my items were buried with me. I wonder briefly who buried me... 

I suppose it doesn't matter now. There is a battle raging. 

As I make my way back to the battlefield, something appears for a brief second... But then it's gone. 

 

A cold breeze begins to blow over the battlefield. 


:smilematoro:

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I send my last cavalry on a last hopeless charge but they are slain. Only I face Kardas now. I raise my sword in defiance as his body towers over mine. I charge him but a sweep of his claws flings my broken form across the battlefield. Where I am dragged to safety. It is up to you my comrades. Destroy Kardas at all costs. The armies are defeated.

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