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Makuta Short Story Archive


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#1 Offline GaliGee

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Posted Jan 07 2012 - 01:24 PM

These are my Makuta short stories from the old forum that were lost or damaged. If you would like to post comments, please do so in my GaliGee's Stories topic.Thanks for your interest! :kaukaunu:Now, before you praise me for my courage, this was NOT my idea. This is how it happened.Interview with Makuta, Spirit of EvilGaliGee: I'd like an extra large, with sausage, black olives, and extra cheese --Makuta: MUAHAHAHAHAHA!GaliGee: Makuta?Pizza guy: Excuse me, ma'am?Makuta: It's me!GaliGee: Makuta! Get off my phone line!Pizza guy: Ma'am?GaliGee: I'm sorry, I'll call back about the pizza in a minute.Pizza guy: Whatever. [click]Makuta: Now that I have you all to myself, let's talk!GaliGee: I don't like the sound of that.Makuta: Well, everyone acts all afraid of me when they first find out about me. But you'll see that I'm really just a regular guy. I'm just misunderstood.GaliGee: I don't think so. You're responsible for so much anger, destruction, sorrow, and death. How can you call yourself a regular guy?Makuta: You see, the Toa just THOUGHT I was responsible for those infected masks and landslides and lava flows and whatnot. They were really just looking to beat up on someone. I mean, how would you feel if you showed up on an island, bristling with cool weapons and elemental powers, and all there was to fight was a bunch of little people that only have seven pieces each? So they started picking on the poor dumb animals. It wasn't their fault the Rahi were sick. It just happened.GaliGee: Just HAPPENED? I know more Mata Nui history than that, Makuta. YOU were behind the infection.Makuta: What proof do you have?GaliGee: Well, among other things, after the Toa blasted you to bits, the infection all stopped. You're just trying to confuse me with your lies.Makuta: Heh, heh. No Akaku this time!GaliGee: What?Makuta: Oh, nothing. But really, LEGO had to have a bad guy. It's not MY fault they made me evil.GaliGee: Maybe not, but we still don't have to be nice to you. Because we were created to hate evil.Makuta: Say, why don't you ask me some questions? You know, give me an interview, like you did for the Toa? I'm sure the BZ members would love to hear my side of the story.GaliGee: I only interview characters that tell the truth. Otherwise, what's the point?Makuta: Clever, she is. But not clever enough. Did you know that you have been a minion in my latest scheme all along?GaliGee: What are you talking about?Makuta: Well, you see, since you last talked to the Toa, they have gone down into the Bohrok nest. There they will find the exos, fight the Bahrag, get transformed, yada, yada, yada. But in the meantime, until Comic #7 is out, they are stuck in this nest, Tahu in the egg chamber and the rest in a cave, with molten lava falling on them.GaliGee: How dreadful.Makuta: So I want them to be stuck there for a long time, so they will suffer in fear and misery and become weakened while I can work on my new evil scheme. You know, for the Mask of Light. I'm running kind of behind on it.GaliGee: So what does this have to do with me?Makuta: Ah! Well, the more we can distract LEGO, the longer it will take to get Comic #7 finished. Hence the Tahu-Gali relationship hoax.GaliGee: I remember. You claim that you wrote that comment in the margin of the Comic #8 script.Makuta: I did write that. And it got all of BZ talking! But I've been doing it all along. I log on as you guys, and post all kinds of racy stuff. Let's see... theBlindMan2's story about Tahu and Gali alone on the big volcano... FallenTurtles' post about a fight between Tahu and Lewa... your thing with Tahu Nuva, Gali Nuva, and that awful Mangai joke...GaliGee: What thing about Tahu Nuva... hey! [grabs for mouse]Makuta: Just enough to get you guys started. Not that THAT was very hard. Do you know how much time the people at LEGO waste reading BZ?GaliGee: Actually, no.Makuta: A lot! And now they are arguing, too. It's great fun!GaliGee: This sounds like the evil plan I was joking about in the Tahu-Gali topic in Storyline & Theories. The LEGO staffers get in such a big fistfight over the supposed romance that productivity is gone for a whole day. I was calling it theBlindMan2's plan, just as a joke!Makuta: Oh, yes, I saw that. Pretty funny.GaliGee: If you're such a hot shot, why didn't you go back and edit that stuff out so no one would suspect anything?Makuta: Say, you'd make a good minion of evil, GaliGee. Want to come work for me? The pay's good. That's actually why I cut into your pizza order, anyway.GaliGee: NEVER! I'd rather die.Makuta: That can be arranged. But really, I'm a nice guy to work for. I'm important in the story, too. Think of the fame and fortune!GaliGee: You represent all that we despise. You lie and destroy for your own pleasure. The Toa have sworn to defend their island against you, and they won't rest until you are dead. REALLY dead. And LEGO is a good company that cares for kids. So you know you are doomed. Good will prevail! [at this moment the telephone exploded in my hand, and the call was cut off.]You have heard from the Spirit of Evil, folks, so beware what you believe. Congratulations to Madcat II for winning the contest, and happy early birthday. And happy late birthday to Shadow. I would have posted it yesterday, but the bandages made it hard to type. This is GaliGee reporting. :kaukaunu:If you would like to post comments, please do so in my GaliGee's Stories topic.

Edited by GaliGee, Jan 07 2012 - 01:24 PM.

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GaliGee's Stories

GaliGee's Archive

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Get someone else to buy it for you! (Preview and order the paperback or ebook)

If you like my Makuta-GaliGee epic dark comedies, you may enjoy my metafiction adventure novel, DRAWN TO DISASTER by Lily Gee.

At www.lilygee.com you can read the first chapter, watch the video trailer, find maps & links, take a trivia quiz, and get e-mail updates.

 

<3 Thanks for the love, BZPower!  If you've read D2D, please review it on Amazon or Smashwords! <3


#2 Offline GaliGee

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Posted Jan 09 2012 - 02:18 PM

Posted ImageThanks, Huriko! Girlfriends, the CREEPIEST guy just asked me out. You are not gonna believe--oops, sorry, I was talking to Nova Nuhvok and T-Hybrid, I didn’t see the rest of you there. Oh, that’s right, T-Hybrid has gone back to being a boy. Silly me. Anyway, read on to see what the Spirit of Evil is up to now.Interview with Makuta, Spirit of Evil (again)GaliGee: Sure, I’ll hold. [elevator music]Makuta: Hello, my angel.GaliGee: Makuta?!? What are you doing on my phone line again? And I'm not your angel.Makuta: Oh, joy. She recognized my voice! Maybe there’s still hope.GaliGee: Hope for what, you vile, repugnant--IRS lady: [music stops] Ma’am, you’ll need to fill out a W-3c correction form. You can pick those up at our office.Makuta: I’m just calling to see if you’re willing to give our love another chance.IRS lady: Excuse me?GaliGee: What the—you lousy son-of-a—get off my phone line!IRS lady: The United States Government does not appreciate prank calls on its official business lines. [click]Makuta: That’s better. Now we can be alone. So, how do you like the buff new me?GaliGee: Despicable as ever.Makuta: Why, thank you. I worked hard on my new look. I was hoping you would like it, and fall for me all over again. Because I still have feelings for you, you know.GaliGee: Yeah. I have feelings for you, too. Like loathing and revulsion.Makuta: I’m so hurt! I mean, if you think Onua is good-looking, for crying out loud, you’ve gotta love MY new form. I’m TALL, dark, and handsome!GaliGee: Onua has a heart of gold. You, on the other hand, have a heart of maggot-ridden carrion.Makuta: [sighs] Oh, that’s so harsh.GaliGee: What do you want, Makuta?Makuta: I just want to be loved. Is that so wrong?GaliGee: Still a pathological liar, I see.Makuta: Again with the name-calling. Well, I guess can accept that you no longer care for me. I mean, you served me for a time, with your gossipy stories about the Toa, and now I guess it’s over. [sniff] But can you give me some advice? I just don’t understand it. Even my minions don’t love me. Sure, they obey, and they serve me well. But I can see it in their eyes, there’s no real devotion there. How can I get them to adore me?GaliGee: Makuta, everyone hates and fears you because you are hateful and fearsome. Change your ways, and you will get plenty of love.Makuta: Come on, GaliGee! If I were to be nice, LEGO would fire me. Ooooh... but you just gave me a diabolical idea. I’ll re-write all my lines for the Mask of Light so that I’m a good guy! Then the movie will be big flop. The kids will be SO disappointed. Just think of the financial disaster for LEGO!GaliGee: I thought the movie was already in post-production now. Didn’t you already wrap up the filming?Makuta: Oh, yeah. Dang. I’ll have to come up with something else.GaliGee: You do that. Listen, I have to go finish my taxes.Makuta: Wait! Before you go, I just wanted to thank you for writing those epics. Now that you’ve revealed what the Toa were really thinking all this time, I’ll have some leverage to use against them. If I can just get Tahu and Kopaka to fight over Gali again...GaliGee: I seriously doubt that will happen. They all learned something from that, you know.Makuta: Darn! Well, then I’ll work on the pride angle. You showed me how vulnerable Tahu is to attacks on his pride.GaliGee: Tahu is going to forget his pride and remember his magma swords next time he sees you. And it sounds like he may have some help from a new Toa.Makuta: [laughs] As if Tahu’s little butter knives will make any difference. Now, Takua... I knew that kid was trouble. I should have snuffed out his little multicolored--oh, there's a lady present—er, self long ago, back in the MNOLG. That Nui-Jaga coulda gotten him, if it had shot at him after Pohatu was blinded. Instead, it wasted time defending its nest. [sighs] You just can't depend on an arachnid to carry out the simplest task.GaliGee: Well, what did you expect? It’s a big bug.Makuta: Hey, I’m the evil mastermind here, I’ll be the judge of what makes a good minion. But anyway, I'm so glad the Rahkshi turned out smart. Those old Bahrag biddies are really clueless, but at least they held the Toa off long enough for me to build my Rahkshi right. How do you like them?GaliGee: They’re almost as creepy as you are.Makuta: Yes, they ARE darling, aren’t they? My boys, my very own sons. I taught them everything they know. Every time I hear them hiss “Daddy,” my heart swells with pride and joy.GaliGee: Why don’t you take them and go find a new, uninhabited island to live on?Makuta: Because I still hold some hope that the Matorans will relent, and start worshipping me. I mean, of course the Rahkshi worship me, because I made them. But the Matorans... their worship will mean so much more, because I will have stolen it from my brother.GaliGee: I don’t understand that.Makuta: You don’t have a big brother, do you? I mean, besides Onua, because he’s not your real brother.GaliGee: No, I don’t.Makuta: Imagine, then, if you did. A taller, stronger, dashingly handsome brother who was always perfect. Always pleasant. Always forgiving. And always taking the good stuff, and leaving you with mere scraps. Wouldn’t you want what was his?GaliGee: Sure. It’s natural to envy your siblings. But you don’t have to go wrecking worlds because of it. THAT’s what makes you evil.Makuta: But I DO have to take over Mata Nui. Or at least try. It’s in my contract.GaliGee: Why did you take this job, anyway? Didn’t you know LEGO would never let the bad guys win?Makuta: Maybe the people at LEGO are planning for me to lose. But just between you and me, they’re in for a big surprise.GaliGee: What do you mean?Makuta: They think they control me. But they have unleashed the power of evil into the world, and it’s mightier than they know. I’m going to get my way, after all.GaliGee: You’re planning to outsmart LEGO and prevail against the Toa?Makuta: In a word, yes.GaliGee: That’s preposterous.Makuta: Think small, if you like. But I’m going to do it. You can try to stop me and get crushed. Or you can return to my loving arms and share in the spoils of my victory. Just think... I’ll make you the Princess of Darkness.GaliGee: Your loving arms? Puh-leeeeez! I’d rather do my taxes. And speaking of which...Makuta: Listen, if you won’t do it for my sake, think of the poor little motherless Rahkshi. They need love, too. They’re very affectionate little creatures. And you have so much love in your heart. You could bring joy to their dark little world, like Maria did for the von Trapp children.GaliGee: I think I’m going to be sick. Affectionate? I’d feel safer with a nest of cobras. You must be out of your mind. And it’s YOUR fault, not mine, that they have no mother.Makuta: [sigh] I guess I was wrong about you. I thought you were compassionate.GaliGee: Look, last time you tried to offer me money, and I said ‘no.’ Now you’re trying to make me feel loved and needed. That’s not working, either. What’s next? Fame?Makuta: Say... now there’s an idea. How about I get you a job as a writer for LEGO? You said that would be your dream job!GaliGee: Yes, but not if it means I have to work for you.Makuta: You could make me win in the official storyline. And then we could rule together! Muah hah hah hahaaack [cough] [cough]GaliGee: You’re insane, Makuta.Makuta: I’ll take that as a compliment. No, wait! I have an even better idea! I’ll make one of the Toa fall in love with YOU. Just pick one! I could probably pull that off. Even though I would be a little jealous, it would be worth it to have you on my side.GaliGee: Yeah, right. You would never be able to do that. Love is way out of your league, Makuta. Besides, I’m not interested.Makuta: Sheesh. What will it take to win you over? I can’t do puppy-dog eyes over the phone line... and I’m trying to make my voice sound as honey-like as possible...GaliGee: Your voice sounds just as sinister and nasty as it does in the Mask of Light trailer. Face it, Makuta. I’m not falling for your lies.Makuta: Fine. Spurn me. Discard my love like yesterday’s rose. You’ll come to regret the coldness of your little blue plastic heart. [click] [ceiling collapses around me in a huge cloud of dust]Gaaah! Good thing I have that drywall contractor on speed-dial. This interview is dedicated to Baihumon, in appreciation for his outstanding MOC, GaliGee Omega, which is exactly how I look after I’ve seen someone spamming or flaming. (I’m almost as big as Makuta, ha ha!). :kaukaunu:If you would like to post comments, please do so in my GaliGee's Stories topic.

Edited by GaliGee, Jan 09 2012 - 02:33 PM.

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GaliGee's Stories

GaliGee's Archive

* New chapter September 24 * huriko-journeyintolight-sm.jpgPart II: Peacetime Thanks, Huriko!



d2d-banner-sm.jpg DON'T BUY MY BOOK.


Get someone else to buy it for you! (Preview and order the paperback or ebook)

If you like my Makuta-GaliGee epic dark comedies, you may enjoy my metafiction adventure novel, DRAWN TO DISASTER by Lily Gee.

At www.lilygee.com you can read the first chapter, watch the video trailer, find maps & links, take a trivia quiz, and get e-mail updates.

 

<3 Thanks for the love, BZPower!  If you've read D2D, please review it on Amazon or Smashwords! <3


#3 Offline GaliGee

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Posted Jan 11 2012 - 06:15 PM

Posted ImageAfter BZPower member silentlunchbag34 made a perfectly accurate MOC of my tiny new form, a few of you have asked why I was suddenly smaller than usual. Naturally, it has something to do with my nemesis and would-be suitor, Makuta. I guess I shouldn't have provoked him...Makuta Makes Me MiniI was walking out to my mailbox when I heard tires screeching on the pavement down the street. Makuta, Spirit of Evil, roared up to my house in his long, black Coupe de Ville convertible. As I ran for the front door, I was suddenly frozen in my tracks, overcome by fear. Makuta got out of the car and sauntered up to me."Hello, precious. Have you packed your bags yet? I’m ready to take you to Paradise.""No, and I never will," I retorted, as my fear dissipated and was replaced by anger. I began to transform into my Omega form. "Get away from me.""So spirited, for one so small," he grinned."Yeah, I'll show you spirited," I said through clenched jaws, flexing my knees and gripping my ice blades tightly.Makuta laughed. "And I'll show you small!" He raised his staff, and there was a puff of smoke. I found myself sitting on the ground. I stood up--and I was tiny!"Call me anytime, my angel," he smiled, patting me on the head. He got into the car and zoomed away down the street. I noticed that he had gotten the bumper and trunk repaired since the last time I had seen him, when he took me on a mind-bending road trip to Mangaia and back by way of the LEGO headquarters in Enfield, Connecticut.I looked down at myself. I was about half my former height, with short little arms and legs to match. I felt my mask, and it was apparently the same size as before. I sighed deeply. “Now I’m going to have to rummage around in the garage and find some spare parts to rebuild myself,” I thought. I stood on tiptoe, but I was unable to reach the mailbox. I dragged the recycle bin into the street, turned it over, and stood on it to retrieve my mail.I tossed the letters and magazines on the table as I headed for the garage, where I found plenty of extra pieces. I lay four Nuva legs, a Toa body, and some shoulder connectors on the floor next to me. But when I tried to pull off my undersized legs to replace them, they wouldn’t come off. I tugged and tugged to no avail. “What kind of horrible curse did he put on me, anyway?” I squeaked angrily. My voice, unfortunately, matched my new look.My chest armor no longer fit, but I put my shoulder armor on and picked up my axes, which seemed much heavier to me now. I looked at myself in the mirror and groaned. “I don’t exactly look very fierce anymore.”I put the extra parts back in the box and considered what to do next. Should I ask him to come back and change me to my normal form? I really didn't want to see him again. But I knew my life would be very difficult, being less than three feet tall. I could barely reach the sink! And driving my truck would definitely be a problem. I could build some step stools and extensions with LEGO bricks, of course, but it wouldn’t be the same.Two days later, after calling LEGO and being told they couldn’t help me, I was resigned to the inevitable. I picked up the phone and called the Mata Nui operator. “Can you connect me to Makuta, please?”The Ga-Koronan on the other end of the line was silent for a moment. “Excuse me, Miss, did you say... Makuta?”“Well, yes, I did,” I replied. “You probably don’t get many calls for him, but...”“We don’t get ANY calls for him. You’re the first ever to ask. We don’t even have his number listed here.”“Didn’t you assign him a number when you set up his phone service?”“We didn’t set up his phone service. If he has a phone, he must have done it himself somehow.”“I see. Well, thanks any--” I was interrupted by a clicking sound.“Hello, my dove,” said Makuta. “It’s so wonderful to hear from you.”“AAAHH!” screamed the operator. There was another click.“Hello, Makuta,” I replied quietly. “I was hoping you would have mercy on me and change me back to my regular form. I don’t seem to be able to rebuild myself.”“Ah, yes.” There was a long pause. I waited breathlessly.“So, would you please change me back?”“Well, that depends. It’s an awfully long drive, darling. What are you going to do for me?” he asked, his voice smooth as oil.“Um... well...”“Don’t fret, sweetheart. You don’t have to decide that yet. Why don’t I pick you up and we can discuss it in my lair?”“I’d rather not, if you don’t mind. How about somewhere local? It would save you a round trip, anyway.”“Your house?”“NO! I mean, how about someplace a little more... neutral?” I stammered. “Like a restaurant?”“That nice hotel downtown, overlooking the river... what’s it called, the Four Seasons?”“All right,” I agreed, wondering what I had just gotten myself into. “When can you meet me there?”“The day after tomorrow. Seven o’clock.”“I’ll see you then,” I replied, and I hung up.Now I had two days to pace in a tiny circle and wonder how much worse off I would be after meeting with Makuta. I went about my daily routine as best I could, sitting on a phone book to work on the computer and standing on a chair to cook dinner. I looked wistfully at my bicycle, hoping someday soon I could ride it again.Finally the time arrived. I snapped a stack of LEGO bricks onto each foot so I could drive and headed downtown. The valet gave me a very strange look as I hopped out of the truck and handed him the keys.I walked through the hotel lobby and into the restaurant. I glanced around and didn’t see Makuta anywhere. The hostess was talking to one of the waiters. She didn’t notice me at all. Finally I reached up and tapped on the side of her podium. “Excuse me, but I need a table for two, please.”Startled, the hostess looked down. “Oh, I’m sorry, er, miss. Sure.” She picked up two menus. “Follow me, please.” She led me to a table next to a window, overlooking the river.“May I have a booster seat, please?” I asked.“Certainly,” she smiled. She returned in a moment with a plastic seat and helped me into it. I sighed and nervously twisted my napkin while I waited.Fifteen minutes later, a hush fell over the restaurant, and I knew Makuta had arrived. I saw him speaking to the terrified hostess. As she led him to our table, he suddenly leaned over toward one of the other diners. “What are YOU looking at?” he growled. The man fainted, and I saw his companion rush around the table and fan him with her napkin.Smiling, he approached his seat. “GaliGee! It’s so good to see you.” He nodded to the hostess, and she scurried away. He reached across the table and took my hand. “How are you, my cupcake?”I yanked my hand away. “Fine, except that I’m the size of a human three-year-old.”Makuta laughed. “But you’re so cute like that. Let me look at you.” He leaned back in his chair, which creaked ominously.“Yeah, I keep hearing that. But I can’t reach anything in my house, and it’s really hard to drive.”“Well, now you know how I feel, changing size and all. It takes some getting used to.”“I don’t want to get used to it. I want to be big again!” I realized it might not be a good idea to annoy him, so I added quickly, “That is, if you don’t mind... please.”“Well. This is interesting. I have something you want, and you have something I want.”“Um, yeah.”The waitress appeared and brought us menus. Makuta ordered two vodka Martinis. The waitress gestured toward me. “But sir... she’s only a child. I can’t serve--”Makuta’s eyes began to glow fiercely. “Right away, sir,” she said quickly, and fled toward the kitchen.“Makuta, I don’t drink. Even when I’m big,” I said, rolling my eyes.The Spirit of Evil chuckled. “You need to learn to relax, my pet.” He opened his menu.“How can I relax,” I thought, “when I’m at the mercy of an evil madman who has reduced me to half my size?” But I held my tongue and looked at the child’s menu in front of me. I picked up the red crayon and distractedly colored the cartoon ducks.The waitress brought two cocktails and took our order. Makuta held up his drink. “Cheers, darling.”I raised my glass and clinked it against his. “So... about my size...”“You’re in such a hurry,” he smiled, taking a sip.I set down my glass. “Wouldn’t you be, if someone had shrunk you?”“I’ve never really thought about it,” he admitted.“Well, that’s the problem with being evil. You can’t empathize with anyone. If you had the ability to put yourself in someone else’s place, you probably wouldn’t be so mean.”“Mean?” Makuta scoffed. “I just like to have fun. And I want you to come with me, so you can have fun, too. Life’s a blast, when you don’t have to stick to all those silly rules people keep trying to impose on each other.”“So, will you please make me my normal size again?”Makuta sighed. “Patience, my kitten. I was just getting to that. If you agree to return with me to Mangaia, I’ll be happy to change you back.”“You already know my answer to that,” I frowned. “Of course I won’t go with you.”“I have half a mind to pick you up, put you in my pocket, and just take you home with me, anyway,” he grinned, leaning across the table to tweak my mask.“You can’t make me go!” I squeaked. “Well, actually, you can... but I’m hoping you won’t, because I don’t want to!”Makuta laughed. “So, you want to stay small?”“Well, if it comes down to trading my soul for my original size, yes,” I replied. “I can learn to get along, being small like this. My real friends know it’s what’s inside that counts, not how you look.”“As a spirit, no one knows that better than I,” he agreed. He looked at me and sighed. “Such a strong-willed little thing.”The waitress arrived with Makuta’s steak and my grilled cheese sandwich. We ate in silence. I thought about what I could offer Makuta in exchange for making me normal, something that wouldn’t involve betraying my friends on Mata Nui. Finally, Makuta pushed back his chair. “Well, that was delicious. Now, how about I take you out for an ice cream cone, beloved?”“All right. But then can you make me big again? Maybe I could post a flattering story about you or something.”“That would be nice, for a change,” he chuckled. “But that’s not what I want.” He signaled the waitress, who brought the check.“Watch this,” he grinned. He waved his hand at the man that he had terrorized on the way to the table. The man’s wallet floated out of his back pocket toward Makuta, who caught it and opened it. He removed all the paper currency and waved his hand again. The wallet floated back to its owner and dropped into his pocket.The Spirit of Evil counted out five twenty-dollar bills onto the table. “That should cover it,” he smiled. He stood and helped me out of my booster seat. “Come along, dear.”I glanced anxiously at the man, who was eating his dinner and apparently hadn’t noticed anything. I sighed and followed Makuta out of the restaurant. We walked down the street until we came to an ice cream shop. Makuta bought us two cones, and we walked down the hike-and-bike trail along the river as we ate.“Nice night,” he remarked.My tiny feet were moving fast to keep up with his long strides. I was anxious to get to the point. “Yes, it is. So, can you make me big now?” I asked, for what seemed like the twentieth time.“In due time, my lovely. Enjoy your ice cream.”I frowned and kept walking. He sure seemed to enjoy making me wait.We walked up the ramp from the trail back to the hotel parking garage. Makuta tossed his crumpled napkin over his shoulder and turned to me. “So, will you be coming with me to Mangaia?”“No, Makuta,” I replied. I picked up his napkin and threw it, and what was left of my ice cream, into a nearby trash can. “I can’t live with evil. You know that.”“I grow impatient, darling. I really miss having you there with me. The Rahkshi were absolutely despondent when I told them you refused to come back. And The Mask of Light will be coming out soon, and I really need your help.”“My help? Look, I don’t even know how I could help you, anyway. I think you’re doomed. And I seriously doubt that the Rahkshi miss me, unless they need someone for target practice or something. As for you, I still don’t think you are capable of love.”Makuta waved his staff. I gasped in fear as I was enveloped in a cloud of smoke. But when it cleared, I looked down to see my normal body again. Could it be that Makuta really had a heart?“Thanks, Makuta,” I said gratefully. “But that’s not like you. Having mercy on someone, without getting anything in return. Why did you do it?”Makuta smiled. “Think about it, sweetheart. How could I dream about someone who’s not even three feet tall? I may be evil, but I’m not THAT creepy.”I shrugged. “Well, I’m glad you changed me back.”“Does this mean you’ll come with me, then?” he asked hopefully.“No, but you’re making me wonder about you,” I smiled. “Maybe you have some good in you, after all.”“And you’re just the one to help bring it out in me,” he said, putting his arms around me.“Sorry, Makuta, you’re on your own,” I retorted, pushing him away.Makuta scowled and raised his staff. The armor on my chest and shoulders melted to liquid protodermis and dripped off my body. I yelped as I shook off the searing hot fluid.“Just call LEGO,” he suggested with a nasty laugh. “They’ll send you some replacement parts.”“Yes, they’re very nice about that,” I replied as the valet brought my truck around the corner and accepted my tip.“You know where to find me, my lovely.” Makuta kissed my hand.“Same old Makuta,” I said, shaking my head. I got in and tossed the stacks of LEGO bricks into the back seat, with immense relief.THE END :kaukaunu:Thanks to:silentlunchbag34pohatu jrIf you would like to post comments, please do so in my GaliGee's Stories topic.

Edited by GaliGee, Jan 12 2012 - 05:12 PM.

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#4 Offline GaliGee

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Posted Jan 13 2012 - 03:45 PM

With the imminent release of The Mask of Light, I was hoping the Spirit of Evil would be too busy preparing for the showdown with his new nemesis to bother with small fry like me. Alas, my supernatural stalker did return again in an attempt to lure me to the dark side. But this time he won’t be back, because I stumbled onto what turned out to be his deepest fear.Makuta’s Last TryI rolled the cart out of the grocery store, humming to myself as I approached my truck. I pulled the keys out of my bag and pushed the ‘unlock’ button on the remote. The locks clicked, and I reached for the door handle. Suddenly I heard heavy footsteps. I turned around to see the Spirit of Evil looming over me.“Darling! Fancy meeting you here.”“I’m sure it’s a complete coincidence,” I groaned, looking at him warily. “What do you want, Makuta?”“I just want some company,” he smiled.“Then go hang out with the Rahkshi, and leave me alone.”“The Rahkshi are busy, my sweet. They are defending themselves against the Toa. I only hope the strength I gave them is enough to resist those violent creatures that insist on calling themselves heroes.”I rolled my eyes. “I’m not stupid, Makuta. I know what the Rahkshi are doing. They’re terrorizing the island. I read the comics, you know.” When I turned around to load my groceries, I noticed Makuta’s car parked next to mine.He stepped between me and my truck. “Come for a drive with me, GaliGee. I just want someone to talk to.”“You drove two thousand miles just to find someone to talk to? That’s definitely a sign you need to be nicer to the people around you.”Makuta sighed. “Time and distance are of no consequence to me. Just come along.”“And if I say ‘no’?”“Then you’ll come anyway,” he replied, picking me up. He lifted me over the door of his Coupe de Ville convertible and set me in the seat. My instinct was to jump back out and run, but experience told me this would be futile, and possibly dangerous. “What about my groceries?” I asked as he buckled my seat belt.Makuta picked up the grocery cart and dumped the contents into the back seat. I watched with annoyance as the bread was crushed under the potatoes. “But, my ice cream--”“Don’t worry about your ice cream,” he grinned, waving his hand. The entire pile of food was instantly encased in a large block of ice. He gave the empty basket a push, and it zoomed across the pavement and crashed into a Mercedes. I frowned and slid lower in the seat. Smiling, Makuta got in on the driver’s side. I locked my truck with the remote as he revved the engine and screeched out of the parking lot.“Did you get the Makuta set I sent you?” he asked.“Yes, I did, thanks. It looks almost as menacing as the real you, except that it’s not eight feet tall.”Makuta laughed. “LEGO did do a good job with my set, I think. Did you figure out it was from me?”“Well, obviously. Even before I read your note, the return address of ‘Mangaia’ was a dead giveaway. That, and the musty smell of the air in the box.”Soon we were driving down a wide road, the wind in our faces. The sunlight glinted off all the brightly polished chrome on the Cadillac. “Before the boys went off to battle, they did a really good job of detailing my car,” Makuta remarked proudly.“Well, it’s good they know how to do something constructive,” I muttered. “So, what’s on your mind, Makuta?”“I just wanted to spend a little time with you before the war begins in earnest, my love,” he said solemnly. “I won’t get to see you for a while, once things start getting intense on Mata Nui. Now that the Matorans have their little mask and are getting closer to finding you-know-who, it’s going to be hard to get away and travel.”“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”“Of course it is! I’ll miss you terribly. Won’t you miss me?”I sighed and looked at the scenery.“Anyway, it’s not too late to come with me. I could really use your help in zeroing in on the Toa’s weaknesses. I’m like any father. I’m so worried for my children.”“Then why did you send them against the Toa? Why not encourage your Rahkshi to live in peace on Mata Nui?”“Because the Toa think it’s their destiny to wake up that no-good brother of mine. I can’t have that happening.” Makuta steered with his knee as he opened a jewel case and slid an Etta James CD into the player in the dashboard.“Well, I’m not going to help you. As if I could even make any difference. You’re far more powerful than I am, anyway. Would you please take me back to the grocery store?”“Power is not what I’m looking for. It’s information. And what I need is inside your little transparent yellow brain, my beloved.”I studied Makuta’s face for a moment. “You’re afraid, aren’t you?” I said boldly. “You know LEGO is never going to let the bad guy win. You’ve finally realized you’re going to lose, and now you’re getting scared!”“Me, scared?” Makuta roared with laughter. “Perhaps you’ve forgotten, my lovely, that fear is my stock-in-trade. I’m afraid of nothing.”“Not even of Takanu--” I stopped when I saw his blue eyes turn red and begin to blaze with rage. He reached across the seat and grabbed my throat.“Now, I know I’ve warned you about that before,” he growled. He removed his hand from my neck.“Yes,” I coughed, “you have. Sorry.”We rode for a few miles in silence. Then Makuta spoke again. “I’m not afraid of him, darling. He’s merely a Toa, and I’m so much more.”“So go fight him, then, and leave me out of it,” I suggested.“Oh, I don’t need your help with him. It’s my boys that need your help. I’ve heard a horrible rumor that the Toa want to take them apart, and build some kind of vehicle with their pieces. It’s the worst thing a parent can hear, believe me.”“I’m sure it is. Except that the Rahkshi armor is not really alive.”“How dare you say that! After all the affection they showed you when you were in my lair.” He fixed his eyes grimly on the road ahead. “You know, we are all simply shells for our spirits, anyway. Even you. I’m just lucky because I can choose which shell to inhabit.”I shuddered as I remembered my creepy experiences with the Rahkshi. “Since I’m not going to help you anyway,” I ventured timidly, “will you please take me back to the store now?”“No. I’m going to take you home with me to Mangaia. That way your fate will be tied to mine. After I win, you’ll be there to celebrate with me and my sons, and to stand by my side while I rule Mata Nui. Oh, that reminds me. I have to think of a new name for the island. Do you have any ideas?”“This is LEGO, Makuta. You’re not going to win.”“Then you’ll die with me,” he said with a sinister grin.“That’s not fair!” I protested. “You got yourself into this. It has nothing to do with me. Besides, you’re immortal, and I’m not. After you get defeated, you can just come back!”“Then you’ll have to do your very best to help me succeed, won’t you?” he smirked, turning onto the highway.“You’re despicable,” I muttered. This was terrifying. Every other time Makuta had tried to recruit me to the dark side, he had always accepted a ‘no’ answer and eventually let me go, albeit with various injuries. Now he clearly intended to keep me prisoner.The Spirit of Evil set the cruise control and took his foot off the accelerator. “But actually, cupcake, I’m not so sure I’ll be able to come back. What if LEGO doesn’t renew my contract? We’re still in negotiations, you see.”“Oh,” I replied. “But can’t you just get another job?”“That’s easier said than done, precious. The job market is really tight for villains these days. And besides, LEGO is the best place to work, by far. Just ask Ogel. They gave him that awesome undersea base, a bunch of cool vehicles, and all those skeleton drones. And all he has to do is show up in the LEGO Magazine comic once in a while, and pose for some online game graphics.”I suppressed a laugh as I pictured Makuta and Ogel swapping stories at a dark corner table in a smoky café. Makuta continued his tirade, the brow of his Kraahkan furrowed with worry. “And it would really chap my hide if my low-life brother was still working for LEGO, while I was sending my résumé to the likes of Mega Bloks. You just don’t understand how humiliating that would be.”“So it comes down to jealousy again.” I shook my head. “Why can’t you just learn to be happy for your brother’s success? Maybe he would share some of it with you if you stopped tormenting his people.”“You wouldn’t say that if you knew my brother,” he groaned. “LEGO makes him sound like a great guy. But really, he’s a conceited j erk. He’s never shared anything in his life. Besides, I think I’ve burned too many bridges with him already. If he ever wakes up, he’s going to be hopping mad.”“You can’t blame him for that. You’ve done some really awful things to the Matorans.”“It’s their own fault, my dove. If they would just bow to me, I wouldn’t have to frighten them anymore.”A man was standing by the side of the road next to his car, which was up on a jack with one wheel removed. He was reaching into the trunk for the spare tire. Makuta swerved toward the man and laughed as the poor fellow scrambled behind his vehicle.“Haven’t you figured out by now that terror will never make them worship you? And it will never make me love you, either.”Makuta sighed. “If you weren’t so lovely, I would have lost patience with you long ago, and crushed you to dust.” He stretched his arm across the back of the seat.The miles rolled by. I glanced behind me. Inexplicably, the groceries were still frozen solid.“So, sweetheart, you might as well start telling me the Toa’s secrets, so we can get to work right away as soon as we get home. Why don’t you begin with Tahu?”I considered my options. Outright refusal could be perilous, but I was determined not to reveal anything that might be useful to this monster and his evil spawn. It occurred to me that flattery had great potential to distract him, given his considerable ego. “Well, Makuta, you’ve read my epic about him. That’s all I really know. And as cunning a villain as you are, you’ve probably picked up on things about him that I would never have noticed.”“I don’t believe that for a second,” said Makuta, giving me a sideways glance. “You little sneak. You’re trying to distract me with flattery, aren’t you?”I swallowed hard. “Maybe just a little… but it’s true. I don’t like what you do, but you’re definitely good at it. The best in the business, in my opinion. I hope LEGO does give you a new contract.”“Why, thank you,” Makuta laughed. “But if you aren’t going to entertain me with talk about the Toa, my kitten, perhaps I should just freeze you until we get home, like the groceries. Besides, I don’t have the Rahkshi here this time to keep an eye on you when I go inside to pay for gas and so on.”“All right, I’ll talk about Tahu,” I agreed reluctantly. My mind raced. What could I say to appease Makuta, without putting the Toa in danger? “Well,” I began slowly, “he does have a bit of a temper.”“Yeah. I’ve read his bio on bionicle.com. Got any real information for me?”“And he’s rather afraid of being wrong. That’s one reason he doesn’t get along well with Kopaka, who is usually the one to point out his errors.”“Duh, GaliGee.”“And he has a fondness for danger, a strange attraction to it,” I continued.“Now we’re getting somewhere. We could use that to lure him to his downfall. Tell me more.”I cringed as I imagined Tahu being caught in some kind of evil trap because of my big mouth. Fearful of saying too much, I stopped talking all together.“Oh, now, darling, don’t be shy. This little discussion might just save your life, you know.”“But then my life wouldn’t be worth living, anyway,” I mumbled, mostly to myself.“You poor dear. You feel like you’re betraying your friends.” He patted me on the head. “The thing you need to remember is that they aren’t really your friends at all. They just like your beautiful yellow eyes, because they look like Gali’s.”This got my attention. “Yes, they are my friends, Makuta. Much more than you are. And I’m not going to talk about them any more. You can’t make me inform against them.” I crossed my arms.“Oh, but I can, my sweet. You, like everyone else, have a pain threshold beyond which you will turn into a babbling fool.”I remained silent. Now I was really scared. But I was still resolved not to yield. Makuta smiled at me. “But I do so hope it won’t come down to that. I would hate to see your pretty face all twisted with agony.”He reached over and took my chin in his hand. “I can take you places, show you things, and bestow gifts upon you that no one else can. To think that you have the most powerful being on Mata Nui wrapped around your little blue finger, and yet you refuse to take advantage of that. All I want is a little information.” He let go of my chin and shook his head.“Wrapped around my finger? I doubt it!” I scoffed. “Besides, I don’t want to work for someone who enjoys torturing people.”“Torture is so crude, darling,” he remarked. “I do it only when I have to.”“Look, Makuta, I don’t know why you’re wasting your time with me. I don’t know anything that you could really use. If you bring me to Mangaia again and keep me there, everyone will soon find out. After all, Ta--I mean, the Toa of Light is going to illuminate the inside of your lair, whether you win or not. And if I disappear, it won’t take long for the people who read ‘Road Trip with Makuta’ to figure out what’s happened.”Makuta shrugged. “So perhaps you don’t know anything very helpful. But you will still be useful to me. Since you are a Toa prototype, I can learn how the Toa were constructed, and where they are vulnerable to attack, just by taking you apart and rebuilding you.” He looked at me and grinned. “And so what if everyone knows I have you? Most of your readers voted for my ending to your story, anyway--the one where you find happiness in my arms.”Makuta seemed to have an answer to everything. I was beginning to feel very desperate. Was I really doomed to remain in his evil clutches? I shivered at the thought that he was planning to take me apart and use my anatomy to plot against my friends.Then I remembered something. Makuta’s greatest fear.I cleared my throat and spoke slowly. “But, Makuta, when LEGO finds out you’ve brought in an unauthorized extra character, they definitely won’t renew your contract.”Makuta hit the brakes, hard. The convertible skidded on the pavement with an ear-splitting screech. Then it spun out of control and slid all over the road. The car lurched to a stop in the ditch in the center of the grassy median, facing sideways. The air bag exploded into my face, knocking off my mask. An instant later I felt a heavy blow to the back of my head, and everything went black.When I returned to consciousness, Makuta was saying. “Thank you so much, beloved! I was about to jeopardize my whole career!” He put my mask back on my face, ripped the airbags from the dashboard, and threw them out of the car. I sat up, groggy. There were skid marks all over the road and deep gouges in the turf from the wheels. The block of frozen groceries was lying on the ground, smashed into pieces. “That must be what hit me,” I moaned, rubbing the back of my head. But as bad as I felt, I said a silent prayer of thanks that Makuta had stopped.At least one of the motorists who had been behind us had lost control as well, and now there was a multiple-vehicle pileup. I cringed as I watched a semi slam into the growing tangle of wrecked cars.Makuta put the car in reverse and gunned the motor. The wheels spun, spraying mud everywhere. Then he shifted into first gear and drove out of the median. He slammed the transmission into ‘Drive’ and pulled onto the road again, heading back toward the city. As we reached cruising speed, the thumping sounds of the mud chunks hitting the fenders finally died down.Makuta was talking excitedly. “Oh, sweetheart, I really do need to learn some patience. You’re so right. If I bring you to Mangaia now, I could ruin my chances to be in the 2004 storyline and beyond.” He reached across the seat and squeezed my hand. “After I win, and LEGO signs the new contract, then I’ll come fetch you.”Thank goodness Takanuva is going to defeat him, I thought. I didn’t understand why he planned to come back for me if he was so confident he would prevail against the Toa, but I decided I didn’t want to know.The traffic in the opposite direction had slowed to a crawl because of the enormous accident Makuta had just caused. In the distance, a highway patrol car and a fire truck were racing along the shoulder toward the scene.“But it’s too bad I won’t get to take you apart. I was rather looking forward to that,” he said regretfully, scanning me with his eyes.“Makuta, look out!” I warned. He swerved sharply to avoid the car in front of him. At twice the speed limit, he was weaving in and out of the other vehicles on the highway as if they were standing still.“Now you see why I need you by my side. Your cool thinking will lend balance to my impulsiveness. And taking over Mata Nui is just the beginning of my scheme.”Behind us, I could hear sirens. I twisted around in my seat and saw flashing lights. “Makuta, I think they’re after you.”He grinned. “Yes, it seems they are. This is going to be fun.” He waved his hand, and the pavement behind us erupted into jagged chunks of asphalt. Two of the police vehicles lost control and slid off the road. But soon more were in pursuit.An electronic beeping sound came from the glove compartment. “Dearest, would you please hand me the phone?” asked Makuta. I complied, and he flipped it open. “Hello? Oh, hi, Turahk. Yes, I have her here, but there’s been a slight change of plan. Are you boys behaving yourselves?”Makuta chatted gaily as he dodged a gravel hauler. He saw me looking nervously at the road ahead and covered the mouthpiece. “I know, princess, I should get a hands-free kit. I ordered one online, but I just haven’t had time to install it yet.” He resumed the conversation with his minion. “Well, she pointed out to me that LEGO might not renew my contract if they discovered her at our place. So I’m going to leave her here until after we defeat the Toa.”I could hear hissing sounds, and Makuta leaned toward me. “They’re really disappointed you’re not coming, but they understand that it’s for the best.”“Right, Makuta. I think you’re just making that up.”The sirens seemed to get louder. I saw another police car waiting for us on the median. As it pulled out onto the road, Makuta swerved toward it, and I watched it drive back off the pavement into the ditch.“Son, I’m going to put GaliGee on the line. Use that ‘text message’ feature on your phone, and type to her.” He studied the telephone for a second and then handed it to me. “Talk to him yourself, angel.”I took the phone, glad that Makuta was paying attention to the road again. I looked at the display. It read, “HI GALIGEE WE MISS U!”“Go ahead, say something,” urged the Spirit of Evil. “They can understand speech.”I looked at him warily. “Hello, um, Turahk,” I said hesitantly into the phone.The response came back. “R U HAVING A NICE DRIVE?”Conversing with a disembodied piece of Makuta—this was too creepy for words. “Uh, yes, thanks. Except for all the police cars chasing us,” I replied.More text appeared. “DAD WILL KEEP U SAFE.”Now, this sounded like something Makuta would want his offspring to say. I looked over at him. He was wearing a half-smile as he maneuvered the car around a flatbed truck loaded with quarried stone blocks. Was he using some kind of telekinesis or mind control trick?“So, I’ve been wondering about something. How do you six expect to defeat the Toa, when entire swarms of Bohrok failed?” I asked.“WE USE BOHROK AS KOLHII BALLS.”I had to chuckle at this. But I flinched when I remembered what kind of damage the Rahkshi were capable of doing, even while just amusing themselves. “I enjoyed the tour of the island you gave me when I was there,” I continued. “But why did you torment those poor Matorans?”“BECAUSE WE CAN,” read the display. “AND ITS FUN. BESIDES IF WE DIDN’T, DAD WOULD KILL US.”I glanced at Makuta again. He grabbed the phone, read the text, and scowled. Then he yelled into the mouthpiece. “You rotten little brat! I can make another one just like you, you know!” He snapped the phone closed and handed it back to me, narrowly avoiding a school bus. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. Of course he didn’t really mean that.”“Why are you acting surprised, Makuta? Aren’t the Rahkshi under your control, anyway? Because--” I stopped talking when I saw the police roadblock in front of us. Several cars with flashing lights were waiting next to a double row of yellow and black striped barricades.Makuta put his hand on my head and pushed me down onto the seat. I heard a loud crash as we sailed through the roadblock. Splintered boards, orange highway cones, and the front grille of a police cruiser flew overhead. I sat up again and knocked off a piece of wood that was hanging from the rear view mirror.“Sort of. The process of separating the kraata from myself interfered with our communication considerably.” Makuta grimaced. “Not enough to keep me from feeling the anguish as all those kraata were captured, though. You can’t blame me for having an axe to grind with the Turaga.”“So you can’t see through the Rahkshi’s eyes, or anything like that?”“No. But I don’t need to, anyway. I have very good eyesight, my pet. I even have eyes in the back of my head.” His head swiveled around, and two more blue eyes were looking at me out of the back of his mask, which vaguely resembled the Mask of Light. Then he spun his head the rest of the way around and glanced at my bag. “You have a green and black ball point pen that says ‘Horizon Bank’ on it, and twenty-seven dollars and eighty-two cents in your wallet.”I fished inside my bag and found the pen, exactly as he had described. Then I opened my wallet and counted my money. He was correct. I had a hard time imagining how Makuta could get any creepier. But at least he was taking me home--if I survived the ride.As we approached the city again, more patrol cars joined the chase. Makuta ran a red light, veering between a gasoline tanker truck and a pickup pulling a trailer full of landscaping equipment. I pressed myself back into the seat and gripped the door handle tightly.The Spirit of Evil glanced over at me. “Darling, relax! You’re safe with me.” He put his arm around my shoulders. Somehow I didn’t feel any safer.Steering with one hand, he cut off a cement truck that was pulling into the next lane, and then he drove onto the sidewalk to get around the cars waiting for a red light. Honking horns joined the cacophony of sirens. I looked up to see a police helicopter. Some distance behind it was another one with the logo of the local television station. Makuta looked up and waved his hand again, and a vortex of swirling air sent the helicopters spinning thousands of feet higher into the atmosphere.“So, here we are at the grocery store,” he smiled. “It pains me to let you go, dearest, but I’ll see you again soon. I’ve made you invisible to the police for a few minutes, so they won’t follow you. After all, it’s me they really want.” He careened into the parking lot on two wheels, snaking between shopping carts and terrified pedestrians, and screeched to a stop in front of the automatic doors.I jumped out of the car with great relief. “Thanks for bringing me back, Makuta,” I sighed. “I hope you get your new contract. But please don’t come back for me. I’m happy living right here where--”“Wait, my lovely,” he said, stepping out of the convertible. “I don’t want you to forget me.” He took my head between his hands. I felt a strange rushing sensation. My vision went black for an instant, and I lost my balance. I opened my eyes again, and Makuta was holding me in his arms. “Now, GaliGee, whenever you look in the mirror, you’ll think of me,” he grinned, kissing my forehead. “Farewell, my angel!”Dazed, I stumbled backwards toward the store. Police cruisers poured into the parking lot with sirens wailing. Makuta leaped onto the seat of his car, shook his fist, and yelled, “You’ll never catch me, coppers!” Then he sat down, put the car in gear, and floored it. As he zigzagged between the patrol cars into the street, I could hear his maniacal laughter over the roar of the engine and the squealing tires.“I guess I need to get some more groceries,” I mumbled to myself. But first, I ducked into the restroom to glance in the mirror. Sure enough, I looked different. Staring back at me out of my mask was a pair of blue eyes. I took off my Kaukau Nuva, blinked, and rubbed my eyes, but they were still blue, as was the back of my head. I replaced my Kanohi, left the bathroom, and headed toward the pharmacy aisle for some aspirin.As if I could ever forget Makuta.THE END :kaukaunu:If you would like to post comments, please do so in my GaliGee's Stories topic.

Edited by GaliGee, Jan 13 2012 - 03:46 PM.

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GaliGee's Stories

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* New chapter September 24 * huriko-journeyintolight-sm.jpgPart II: Peacetime Thanks, Huriko!



d2d-banner-sm.jpg DON'T BUY MY BOOK.


Get someone else to buy it for you! (Preview and order the paperback or ebook)

If you like my Makuta-GaliGee epic dark comedies, you may enjoy my metafiction adventure novel, DRAWN TO DISASTER by Lily Gee.

At www.lilygee.com you can read the first chapter, watch the video trailer, find maps & links, take a trivia quiz, and get e-mail updates.

 

<3 Thanks for the love, BZPower!  If you've read D2D, please review it on Amazon or Smashwords! <3


#5 Offline GaliGee

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Posted Jan 14 2012 - 03:41 PM

That Annoying GaliGee Mask Of Light Sig CountdownThe astute observer (or the person with way too much time on his hands) may have noticed that for the past 40 days or so, I've been putting a countdown to the long-awaited release of The Mask of Light in my signature. Here is the complete list:__ days until...Takanuva turns Makuta into protodermis curly friesMakuta gets blinded by the lightTakanuva says, "Just Say No to Evil!"Takanuva blasts Makuta into 199 piecesTakanuva says, "I'm not scared of the dark!"I lay a dead rose on Makuta's graveTakanuva shows Makuta the business end of a light staffMakuta grumbles, “Of all the days to forget my sunglasses...”Takanuva says, “Makuta, pick on someone your own size! Or at least... someone closer to it!”Makuta says, "Will you Toa keep it down? My brother is trying to take a nap!"Mangaia gets halogen lightingTakanuva says, "Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed." (John 3:20)Makuta trades his Coupe de Ville convertible for a hearseTakanuva asks, “How many evil megalomaniacs does it take to screw in a light bulb?”Makuta turns a whiter shade of palethe Rahkshi become orphansMakuta sees the light at the end of the tunnelMakuta never darkens my doorway againTakanuva shows Makuta he’s no lightweightMakuta punches Takanuva's lights out (Hey! That one was hacked!)Makuta freezes like a deer in the headlightsTakanuva says, “Makuta! We have come--OW! Dude, doesn’t your mom ever make you clean your lair?”Makuta plays light-ball tennis with TakanuvaTakanuva knocks Makuta back to the Dark AgesMakuta has three nanoseconds to admire the tread on the bottom of Takanuva’s Nike Bionicle sneakersTakanuva says, "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." (James 1:17)Takua says to Jaller, “Get on, sit down, hold on, and shut up!”Makuta turns into Sleeping BeautyTakanuva says to Makuta, “Whoa! In real life, you’re even uglier than your LEGO set!”Takanuva lights up Mangaia like it was the Fourth of JulyMakuta tiptoes in and hits the ‘snooze’ button on Mata Nui’s Bionicle alarm clock one last timeTakanuva says, "The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it." (John 1:5)Takanuva says to Makuta, “Um, excuse me, but your mask is on upside down.”Makuta realizes that he forgot to write his willTakanuva takes apart some Rahshki sets and builds himself a really cool MOCMakuta says "Mata Nui, my dear brother… is it too late to work out our differences?"Gali says to Makuta, “Ooh, you’re so tall, dark, and… well, tall and dark.”Takanuva says "Shhh! Be vewwy, vewwy quiet. I’m hunting dewanged megawomaniacs!"Turahk whispers as Panrahk enters stage left, “Break a leg!”Takanuva tells Makuta to lighten upMakuta says, “Hey! I thought I was supposed to WIN in this lousy movie! WHERE’S MY AGENT?!?”Takanuva says, “Hey! I thought I got to SING in this lousy movie! WHERE’S MY AGENT?!?”the kraata start complaining about inheritance taxesTakanuva says, “Take THAT, you evil--oh, dang! Anybody got four D-size batteries?"Takanuva says to Makuta, “Wow, our staffs have the same top! Can yours do this?” *WHACK!*Makuta says, "I see the light! Wait--that's not good..."Kurahk goes mad, Turahk runs for cover, Lehrahk gets food poisoning, Guurahk disintregates, Vohrahk loses power, and Panrahk explodesMakuta gets voted off the island... but who’s counting?So, while you are waiting to see everyone's favorite new hero confront everyone's favorite old villain in widescreen Technicolor Dolby Digital Surround Sound (or whatever it is), you can read these and salivate.Actually, I never thought I would say this, but since Makuta has apparently been preparing for the big showdown, he hasn’t come around to harass me lately, and I’ve started to miss him. *blinks back tears* Sure, he was big and scary-looking, but he always made me feel so special. *Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata begins to play softly* He used to call me his angel... sing Nat ‘King’ Cole songs to me... take me for long rides in his convertible... buy me dinners in elegant restaurants with other people’s money... smash down my deadbolted front door... forcibly abduct me from parking lots... threaten to torture and dismember me so he could train his vile spawn to kill my friends *sound of phonograph needle skidding across vinyl record* OK, so maybe I’m better off without that ill-tempered demon. I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE HIM EAT LIGHTBALLS!Thanks to Koolsnowball, Galikat, Awhina, Groucho Marx, pucateamskater, Vashi, pohatu jr, and TOL for ideas. And I got the Makuta-sees-the-light one from someone's sig, and I can't remember whose. Thanks. :kaukaunu:If you would like to post comments, please do so in my GaliGee's Stories topic.
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#6 Offline GaliGee

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Posted Jan 16 2012 - 05:05 PM

As you know, yesterday was Mother's Day. (I hope you all gave your moms a big hug. :wub: ) I got a very strange e-mail message I thought I'd share with my readers:DEAR GALIGEE, HAPPY MOTHERS DAY! WE HOPE U R HAVING A GREAT NITE. WAIT, I WAS CONFUSED, U R USUALLY AWAKE DURING THE DAY. O, WHATEVER. U ROCK! TURAHK, KURAHK, & CONFUSIRAHKHi Mistress. Hope you’re feeling well. I’ve been really busy healing my brothers, with all the sports and village-wrecking. They all make me feel really useful! Come see us soon, you’re the best. Therahkhi Mistress! we were going to make you a really cool picture but then we decided to take a nap instead. sweet dreams from Lentirahk and Somnorahk…love, TacirahkDear Mistress, I think Master misses you. He asked us to make a big sculpture of a Kaukau Nuva in the lair. It’s the prettiest thing we’ve ever carved. But we want the real you back! You rahk. Thermorahk, Laserahk, Guurahk, and SonirahkStay cool! Later, Frigirahk.No wonder dad wants you back, you’re really hot. Love, Pyrorahk & PlasmarahkMistress, I grew you a flower garden, but Lerahk tripped and fell into it. Oh, well, I’ll start over. Grr. You are more lovelier than my flowers anyway, Florahk.HEY SORRY MAN I DIDNT MEAN TO! WE MISS U NO JOKE! WUB, LERAHKWe get a charge out of you! Come back soon, Electrorahk and Fulgorahkmistress ill shout 4 joy when u come back luv xefonirahkHe better not if he doesn’t want to end up in stasis. We keep having to pick gravel out of our Cocoa Puffs because of him. We miss you! StatirahkOur hearts are heavy since you left. Come back and see us! Gravirahk & DensirahkYo Mistress! Sup? You’ve been missing all the action. We had a major martial arts tournament. Thanks to you, we’ve all learned to focus. Keep your center! Love, VorahkI love you this much! *stretches arms out* Elastorahk.(He just held his arms out 5.43 bios, by the way.) Thanks for teaching us so much! I scored 7 goals in the last hockey game. We would still just be breaking stuff if it weren’t for you. Love, Accurahk.DEAR GALIGEE WE HAD A BIG DEMOLITION SHOW IN YOUR HONOR. WISH YOU COULD BE HERE. WE LOVE U, PANRAHK & DISRUPTIRAHKhey mistress dad is really attracted to you if you like I can make you attracted to him too just say the word. love, magnerahkWE'RE WILD ABOUT YOU! COME SEE US. ENTORAHK & RAHIRAHKMistress, you wouldn’t believe what’s going through Master’s mind right now… or maybe you don’t want to know. Let’s just say he wants you back, and so do we. Love, Mentorahk.You’ve left a void in our hearts, Mistress. Come back soon! VacuurahkStormy weather, since you and dad aren’t together. He keeps playing that song. But we try to keep the skies clear around here anyway. Cyclorahk & MeteorahkWe’ve gotten used to you being gone, but we don’t like it. Come back soon! from Adaptarahk and InvulnerahkHi GaliGee Come see us soon Master is always much nicer when you are around but we just avoid him when he’s grumpy Happy Mother’s Day! Evitarahk and TelerahkHi Mom! Come back to Makuta Island soon. We miss you a lot. Besides, as Dad is always telling us, you can run but you can’t hide. Hugs from Pinky, Illusorahk, and ChamelerahkMistress:I hope you’re having a great day. You’ve taught me so much, and I am very thankful. We all miss you, especially Master. The games aren’t the same without you. We’re getting ready for the Bohrok war now. Wish us luck!Faithfully,ShadrahkP.S. You’ve probably figured out by now that Master put us up to this… but we really mean everything we said. oops gotta go :kaukaunu:In case you're wondering who all these Rahkshi are, there's a list of their names and powers in the "Makuta Island" review topic.If you would like to post comments, please do so in my GaliGee's Stories topic.

Edited by GaliGee, Jan 16 2012 - 05:09 PM.

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* New chapter September 24 * huriko-journeyintolight-sm.jpgPart II: Peacetime Thanks, Huriko!



d2d-banner-sm.jpg DON'T BUY MY BOOK.


Get someone else to buy it for you! (Preview and order the paperback or ebook)

If you like my Makuta-GaliGee epic dark comedies, you may enjoy my metafiction adventure novel, DRAWN TO DISASTER by Lily Gee.

At www.lilygee.com you can read the first chapter, watch the video trailer, find maps & links, take a trivia quiz, and get e-mail updates.

 

<3 Thanks for the love, BZPower!  If you've read D2D, please review it on Amazon or Smashwords! <3





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