Noble Tehurye Posted January 13, 2012 Share Posted January 13, 2012 (edited) Episode 4 is out!Hey all!I am new to BZPower, although I have had a great deal of experience with forums. So I decided to try my hand at making a short comedy, here goes.Edit: (Please Read!) I will be gone from BZPower, and for that matter any internet from February 22nd until about Easter Sunday. So unfortunately I will not be updating this comedy for a while. To make up, I am releasing Episode 4 early.Edit: I decided to add a short bio for the characters, which I may edit as I go along. I modified their personalities slightly from the actual storyline, so you should read this to understand how I use the characters.Zaktan: The leader of the Piraka. He tries to keep them orderly, and often has to break up fights. He despises Vezok, however Vezok is often the only one who will play strategy board games with him. He has an obsession with strategy board games. He is the only Piraka who has any idea anymore of what their mission on Voya Nui is (To get the Ignika). The others have forgotten everything except for the fact that they must fight the Toa Inika, whom they hate............ for some reason that they've forgotten.Vezok: Vezok is slow minded, but not as much as Reidak. The other Piraka dislike him, especially Zaktan. However, he views himself as a mild-mannered, likable guy. He also makes up the muscle of the Piraka team, along with Reidak.Reidak: The dumbest Piraka. Thok is contstantly taking advantage of his slow wit, while at the same time disliking him intensely. He is also stubborn and very hard to dissuade from the few tasks that he thinks up for himself. He is extremely strong and agile. He considers himself Avak's "best friend" and the two get along well together, more than the other Piraka. He is always glad to help the other Piraka out, except for Thok.Avak: The brains of the team, Avak is a "nerdy" genius. He devotes his time to working alone, inventing weapons and tools for the rest of the team. When he does take time off, he loves to cook. Gets along quite well with Reidak and considers him his "best friend". He also dislikes Vezok, whom he views as unimaginative.Hakkan: The argument-starter of the team, Hakkan views himself as the leader, despite the fact that Zaktan is in charge. Hakkan has a terrible temper, and likes to start fires. Of all the Piraka, he likes to do the most "thug" things like stealing and vandalism.Thok: A cold personality, he is prideful and vain. He views himself as the brains of the group, and belittles Avak's inventions, because he is jealous. He constantly takes advantage of Reidak's slow memory, and views Reidak as his minion. As such, he does not realize that Reidak dislikes him.Hewkii and Kongu Inika: Hewkii and Kongu, because of their speed and good humor, have been chosen by Jaller to act as the Inika's spies and covert strike force against the Piraka. You will mostly see these two representing the Inika and fighting the Piraka, however I might use the other Inika in rare moments.Episode 1: Evening at the Piraka Stronghold..........Avak is in his armory chamber:Avak: I have to decide! Will I make a Buzz saw, or a gun? Buzz saw or gun.......Buzz....or gun.......... Hey! I'll make a Buzzgun!Meanwhile, Reidak and Thok are watching TV. Zaktan and Vezok are playing checkers on a game table in the corner:Reidak: I wanna watch the news! Why do we have to watch cartoons?Thok: Because cartoons are funny, and news are not. Also because I get to decide what we watch and you don't.Reidak: But why?Thok: Because I know what's good to watch, that's why.Reidak: Oh........ I see now! *Reidak Happily watches cartoons*Zaktan: He is so gullible...........*Hakan steps inside and shuts the door quickly* Thok: Hakan! Where were you?Hakan: I was at the bakery! Guess what I found out?Thok and Reidak: What?Hakan: There is no sign that says "No Stealing".Thok and Reidak (After a tense pause): Let's go!!*Hakan, Thok, and Reidak run out the door.*Zaktan: I wonder where they're going in such a hurry?Vezok: Something about a Bakery. If they're going to get something, they had better buy me something too, because I am so........Zaktan: Why would they buy something for you?Vezok: Because I'm a likable guy.Zaktan: Yeah, sure you are. It's your move.*Vezok captures Zaktan's last checker.*Vezok: I win!Zaktan: You always win.Vezok: I know. It's because I'm such a likable guy.Zaktan: *Hakan, Thok, and Reidak come in the door, their arms full of baked treats.*Zaktan: Whoa, cake! And cookies! Let me have some!Vezok: Uh, yeah, me too!Hakan: You didn't help us steal them, why should we let you have any?Zaktan: Because I have a loaded Zamor Launcher.Hakan: Uh, alright then! But not Vezok.Vezok: *Avak comes in from another room*Avak: Hey guys, look at my new weapon! *notices goodies* Oh, Cake!*Avak eats all the treats in a few seconds*Hakan: :blink:Avak: What's wrong Hakan?Hakan: Oh, nothing Avak. Everything's perfectly fine. Zaktan, open a top floor window. Vezok and Reidak, grab Avak and follow me.Thok: What about me?Hakan: Uh..... you just keep watching TV.Thok: Yipee! Cartoons!Hope you guys liked it!Episode 2: Hakann's Birthday*Hewkii can be seen sneaking toward the Piraka Stronghold. Inside, Hakann and the other Piraka are sitting around a table on which a large red cake sits*Hakann: Thanks for baking me a cake, Avak.Avak: No problem!All Piraka except Hakann: Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to --Hakann: Cut to the chase! I'm hungry and I want my presents!*Hakann ignites candles with his lava launcher, then takes a fistful of cake and prepares to eat it.....**Hewkii Inika looks through the window and uses his elemental Stone power to creat a rock in the middle of the piece of cake**Hakann bites the cake*Hakann: OW OW OW! *muffled voice* You put a stone in my cake Avak!Avak: *nervous* Uh..... why would I do that Hakann? If I went to the trouble of making you a cake.........Hakann: You must have done it! You have the element of Stone!Avak: But my element has lots of limitations! I wouldn't do something like that to....... NO! Stay away from me!*Hakann and Avak roll on the floor fighting*Zaktan: Enough! Take this fight to the other room!Hakann and Avak: Okay!*Hakann and Avak go into a nearby room. Punching and yelling can be heard....*Later on.......*Reidak peers cautiously into the room and sees Hakann sitting with Avak's head as a footstool*Reidak: What did you do to my best friend?!?!Hakann: Well, I used him as a footstool and a table to play Scrabble on and then I.......Reidak: How dare you! *Rebuilds Avak*Hakann: Ah, he needed that experience. It was good for him. Let's go have my presents!In the lounge room........Zaktan and Vezok: Here's a present from both of us! Happy birthday!Hakann: You worked together??Zaktan: Sure we did. I thought of the gift......Vezok: And I borrowed the money from the bank to get it!Zaktan: Strangely, Vezok was the only guy I could trust to get the money.Vezok: Aw, thanks!Zaktan: I was joking. You were the only one who would listen to me.Vezok: <_<Hakann: So..... what is it supposed to be?Zaktan and Vezok: A Coffee maker!Hakann: A what??Zaktan: It makes something called coffee. It has something called caffeine in it that will keep you awake all night so that you can pull off night robberies!Hakann: You guys are great!Vezok: Haven't heard that in a while......Avak: I was going to give you something great that I made myself Hakann, but then you beat me up so I decided to eat it instead.....Hakann: *Thok hands Hakann a crate of ice cubes*Hakann: Thok! I have to tell you every year, DON'T GET ME ANYTHING WITH ICE IN IT! I HATE ICE!!!!Thok *sarcastic*: Oh my..... I'm sorry Hakann. I forgot. *snickers*Rediak: Ooh, I get to go last! I found this in a military surplus store and I thought of you, Hakann! *Hands Hakann a round package*Hakann: A timed Incendiary Grenade! Oh, thanks! I've always wanted one of these! *turns it over* Say, don't these things come with a safety pin?*All Piraka glance at Reidak*Reidak *while picking teeth with grenade pin*: What?All Piraka: :OMG:The end.......... for now............Episode 3: The Betrayal*All the Piraka are cringing from the imminent fiery explosion, but nothing happens*Thok: Wh....Why....What happened? Why isn't it going off?Reidak: Hmm..... I dunno. *Then he offers brightly* Maybe because there's two seconds left on the timer?All other Piraka: *BAMBAM-B-B-B-B-BAM!!!!!!**Some hours later, after dousing the fires and throwing out destroyed furniture and stealing replacements, The Piraka finally flop down on the nearest soft surface to catch some shuteye.Zaktan: Alright crew, I know this is an uncommon order, but it's lights out! We need some rest for tomorrow!Vezok: What's happening tomorrow?Reidak: I dunno. Another one of Zaktan's plans......Hakaan: Psst, Avak, over here!Avak *sleepily*: What's up?Hakann: How would you like to get back at Zaktan?Avak: 'Course I would!Hakann: Good. So here's the plan......*they whisper together far into the night........*The next day, Zaktan gathers all the Piraka for a meeting*Zaktan: Alright men, today's the day we strike back at the Inika and regain the Mask of Life!All Piraka: ...Reidak: Uh, what's the mask of Life?Zaktan: It's the most POWERFUL thing in the universe! And the Inika have it! And we DON'T!!!Reidak: So that's why we need it? Cool!Zaktan: :sarcastic:Hakann: Uh, Zaktan? I don't feel so good. Can I stay home?Zaktan: Fine, you can stay. As for the rest of you, Hewkiii and Kongu Inika are camped just outside the Stronghold. When you find them, sneak up, overwhelm them, and steal the Mask of Life! And above all, Do Not Make Any Noise Or Your Cover Is Blown! Got that Reidak?Reidak: Sure!Zaktan: Alright then, Thok's in charge. Good luck!*Later, Hakann is groaning softly on the couch while Zaktan is fiddling around with the precision settings on his Scissor Blade weapon. He takes it into the other room*Hakann: Finally, Time to show Zaktan who's boss! *digs under couch* This Zamor Sphere Avak designed will shrink Zaktan so small he'll be begging for mercy!*Hakann sneaks up behind an unsuspecting Zaktan**Outside, the four other Piraka sneak up on Hewkii and Kongu Inika's camp*Reidak: There, I see it! They have the Mask of Life!Thok: Will you quiet down? Alright, we're gonna sneak up and take 'em down quick. And remember, NO NOISE!!! Ready? 1....2....3.... charge!Reidak: LEEEEEEROOOOYYYYJENKINNNNNS!!!!The three other Piraka: *Hakann readies his weapon*Hakann: It's over Zaktan!*Zaktan whirls around just in time to see Hakann fire the sphere**BLIP!**The Zamor sphere flies one foot and then rolls on the ground into the heater vent*Hakann: ARRRRGGGHH!!!!!!Episode 4: Breakfast*Zaktan whirls around and glares at Hakann*Zaktan: Were you trying to SHOOT ME??Hakann: *to himself* Aw great, now he's gonna hurt me.Zaktan: This is MUTINY! I won't stand for MUTINY! You're going to pay........Hakann: *cringes* Here it comes........Zaktan: Drop and give me twenty pushups!Hakann: Well, that was unexpected. *Starts doing pushups**The other Piraka enter, yelling at Reidak for betraying their position*Zaktan: Quiet!Hakann: *pant* 15...... *gasp*......16....... the pain........*phew*.......17......Vezok: Aw, that's nothing. I could do 50 pushups with a Muaka on my back!Avak: Do you even know how heavy those things are?Vezok: Er........... I dunno.Zaktan: Quiet!Hakann: 18...........19....... *Gasping* Can't.....make.....it......20!*Hakann collapses on the floor*The next day...........*All the Piraka have woken up and are looking for a good breakfast*Reidak: I'm going to have Fruit Kanoka cereal! (Like Fruit Loops)Avak: Me too!Vezok: I'm having oatmeal, like I do every morning.Zaktan: You're so boring.Vezok: But oatmeal is healthy! It helps you build muscle so that you can........reach the oatmeal on the top shelf!*In attempting to reach the oatmeal, Vezok loses his balance and falls, his head landing right in Thok's Breakfast: A syrup and butter-laden pancake*Thok: You....... YOU......... My BREAKFAST! It's ruined!*Thok throws Vezok down into the basement pantry*Vezok (while his head is spinning, he holds up a box from the pantry shelf): Oh look! Oatmeal!Hakann: I'm going to make enough sausages for everybody!Thok: Well, that's unusually nice.Hakann: I know! *snicker*An hour later.......Zaktan: Hey, I smell something burning. And where's Hakann?*All the Piraka turn and look into the kitchen. There, Hakann is roasting the sausages black with his lava launcher. Before their eyes, he shovels the whole burning mess into his mouth and licks his chops*Hakann: Yum!Zaktan: You said that you made enough for all of us!Hakann: I said I made enough for all of you. I didn't say that I'd let you have any! :biggrin:Zaktan: Why you....... I'll......*The doorbell rings*Reidak: You're the leader, Zaktan. You get it.Zaktan: Fine! *mutters to himself* It had better not be one of those silly matoran scouts with their silly little cookies and their silly little badges and silly little.......*Zaktan opens the door. A small Ga-Matoran is standing there*Ga-Matoran: Hello sir. My name is Amaya. Would you like to buy some Matoran Scout cookies?To be continued after my period of absence from BZPower............ Edited February 17, 2012 by Summoning Rahi - 24/7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noble Tehurye Posted January 16, 2012 Author Share Posted January 16, 2012 Hey all, thank you for reading my story! (At least I hope you did. )Just a quick note, and an apology: The gag about throwing Avak out of the top floor window is not entirely mine. It's based off of a slightly different gag that was told to me on the Lego.com Message Boards.I apologize, and I promise that I fully intended to give this matter attention in my first post, but it entirely slipped my mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fishers64 Posted February 3, 2012 Share Posted February 3, 2012 I suppose even the Piraka get bored...something about the Toa Nuva being too easy to defeat, so they're watching cartoons? (Minor Improvement Suggestion) Quote Hero Factory RPG | Bionicle Mafia XXIX: Storyline & Theories Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noble Tehurye Posted February 5, 2012 Author Share Posted February 5, 2012 If any of you liked this idea, I could make more of these shorts. I find that the Piraka are a good subject for comedy........And fishers, what exactly do you mean? Are you trying to explain why the Piraka are watching cartoons? (In which case, that's a good idea you have there). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Axilus Prime Posted February 8, 2012 Share Posted February 8, 2012 This is funny! Yes, the Piraka have a lot of potential for funny bickering...which I might even make a comedy about. Especially since 2006-2008 were my favorite years. (2006 wins out of those three though) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noble Tehurye Posted February 8, 2012 Author Share Posted February 8, 2012 (edited) I've decided to work on another (probably shorter) one, seeing as this topic is at least getting some enthusiasm.Edit: Yup, it's out! Episode 2: Hakann's Birthday! Edited February 8, 2012 by Summoning Rahi - 24/7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Axilus Prime Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 AHAHHAHHAAHAHA! The ending was epic. I'm glad I thought of it. Oh, wait, I didn't? Then I'm glad you thought of it, because it was my favorite part! But...I don't think that was 300 words.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noble Tehurye Posted February 9, 2012 Author Share Posted February 9, 2012 (edited) AHAHHAHHAAHAHA! The ending was epic. I'm glad I thought of it. Oh, wait, I didn't? Then I'm glad you thought of it, because it was my favorite part! But...I don't think that was 300 words..Thanks for reminding me, I checked the word count and it is 354 words. I've also got bits and pieces of episode 3 ready, but nothing definite yet....Edit: Episode 3 is now out!I just want to make this post to ask the mods something: Is there a reason why my posts get deleted? I'm just trying to keep people updated and keep my first comedy from slipping into the back. Are my posts off-topic? I'm sure there is a good reason. Could one of the mods PM me, if you want to let me know why this is? Thanks, mods. EDIT by Hahli Husky: I'll be PMing you about this. Edited February 16, 2012 by Hahli Husky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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