Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
Namata

Naming Day - Review

Recommended Posts

Posted (edited)

Welcome to the review topic for my new story, Naming Day. Friendly criticism is very much appreciated! :)

Edited by Namata

sig2.png

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I like this story very much. You've captured the heart of the characters very well. I admit I smiled more than a few times while reading it. It has a strong, almost "40 years of wandering" tone to it, with the idea of the wilderness and organizing the community. I also appreciate the look into reality vs. mythology, one of my favorite themes of Bionicle. Hope to read the next installment soon.

  • Like 1

"You are an absolute in these uncertain times. Your past is forgotten, and your
future is an empty book. You must find your own destiny, my brave adventurer.
"
-- Turaga Nokama

nichijou2.jpg

Click here to visit my library!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 5/18/2020 at 2:30 AM, Master Inika said:

I like this story very much. You've captured the heart of the characters very well. I admit I smiled more than a few times while reading it. It has a strong, almost "40 years of wandering" tone to it, with the idea of the wilderness and organizing the community. I also appreciate the look into reality vs. mythology, one of my favorite themes of Bionicle. Hope to read the next installment soon.

Thank you so much for your kind feedback! I'm glad you think that way about the characters; I made sure to reread the Adventures series to get them right.


sig2.png

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Posted (edited)

I officially love this!

For two major reasons. The first is that I simply never considered exactly what the side-effects of being in the spheres for so long would have been; but the way you're unpacking that, and the Turaga's thoughts and reactions around it, is fascinating, and I'm eager to see where you take it. It's neat to see the Turaga struggling to find their feet for the first time, something that canon completely skipped over; and plus, it's always a treat to get to see my old favourites of the MNOG Matoran again :D

The second is that your humour here is AMAZING. The last line of chapter one felt so absolutely on-point for the character's brand of mischief; the Hafu-Taipu mixup was spectacular; and the explanation behind Orkahm's changed name works perfectly. Definitely eager to see more ^^

Edited by That Matoran with a Vahi
  • Like 1

(Formerly Darth Jaller)

LhikanLow.gif

"New legends awake, but old lessons must be remembered.
For that is the way
of the BIONICLE."

---

Skyrise bios: Tarutu, Kastir, Littiuu, Alarei / Six Kingdoms bios: Varxii, Rek

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 6/16/2020 at 6:33 PM, That Matoran with a Vahi said:

I officially love this!

For two major reasons. The first is that I simply never considered exactly what the side-effects of being in the spheres for so long would have been; but the way you're unpacking that, and the Turaga's thoughts and reactions around it, is fascinating, and I'm eager to see where you take it. It's neat to see the Turaga struggling to find their feet for the first time, something that canon completely skipped over; and plus, it's always a treat to get to see my old favourites of the MNOG Matoran again :D

The second is that your humour here is AMAZING. The last line of chapter one felt so absolutely on-point for the character's brand of mischief; the Hafu-Taipu mixup was spectacular; and the explanation behind Orkahm's changed name works perfectly. Definitely eager to see more ^^

Wow, thank you very much!! Glad to hear I'm not the only one fascinated by this gap in the story and the possibilities it holds for character development. Plus, it's always scary to try to write comedy, so I'm really happy you found it funny. This was exactly the encouragement I needed to keep writing chapter 3 :):)


sig2.png

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...