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Spinning Doctor Drake

bionicle characters spin-doctoring teridax tahu more comedy insanity vezon truth

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13 replies to this topic

#1 Offline fishers64

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Posted Jan 21 2012 - 11:07 PM

It’s a brand new day, and the evil Doctor Drake, notorious holder of a Ph. D in Matoran-era history, walks up to the general bulletin board in the center of New Atero, armed with his trusty hammer, an extra large Skall knife, and a challenge painted in bright red letters.

HISTORICAL CHARACTER RECLASSIFICATION NOTICE
Character: Makuta Teridax
Class: Honorable Hero
(Challenges to this reclassification are invited to meet me in my office in twenty minutes)
Doctor Drake

Lawyer: That’s bad PR. You’ll be dead in twenty minutes.

Doctor Drake: Not if I can prove it.

(Twenty minutes later, the six Toa Nuva appear in the Doctor’s office, not withstanding Tahu, looking especially irritated, and Vezon, because he likes the Doctor for some reason not worth mentioning)

Doctor Drake: You have come to answer my challenge?

Tahu: Yes. Teridax was a murderer!

Doctor Drake: Well, he murdered a bunch of Makuta who were rooting the minds of innocent Matoran in Kini Nui, and a few hundred Rahkshi that he created. Of course, that was to defeat the evil Voporak, so I’m willing to excuse his personal self sacrifice.

Gali: Not to mention a boatload of Rahi and Matoran.

Doctor: Which are not further infesting this planet, contributing to more than their share of problems for the native inhabitants.

Tahu: Such as?

Drake: Overpopulation, for one thing.

Gali: How dare you! Teridax nearly killed the Great Spirit Mata Nui! That would have nicely solved your overpopulation problem, you scoundrel!

Drake: He also waylaid the Barraki with his own attacks, allowing the valiant Toa Mahri to send Matoro to save Mata Nui’s life.

Lewa: Just so he could take the robot over.

Drake: Which allowed the Great Spirit to arrive here, and power up the hunks of junk in the desert, which further facilitated the restoration of this planet.

Lawyer: You are insane.

Drake: Excuse me?

Lawyer: No, I was talking about him. (He points to Vezon, who is enthusiastically nodding along with everything Drake says)

Onua: You forget that he caused needless pain and hardship for countless beings, not to mention unnecessary deaths. *looks at Gali*

Vezon: I did?  :)

Onua: (Ignoring Vezon) He also is responsible for my fellow Toa’s …transformation…due to the insidious Rahkshi armies.

Drake: In other words, he built up your character to lead the Matoran on this planet, to prepare you. I would expect nothing less from such a great leader. I am sure your final test – he gestured to Tahu – will further benefit you in ways unexpected.

Vezon: Thank You.

Pohatu: What are you trying to gain by this? Teridax is dead.

Drake: It is not wise to speak ill of the dead.

Vezon: I’m not dead! I’m not dead!

Lawyer: We know.

Tahu: For the sake of peace in our society, you are under arrest.

Drake: I am simply a conscientious objector. You have no right to arrest me.

Lawyer: And what point would that serve, other to create unnecessary hassles on my client, sir?

Drake: Well, he is part Makuta.

Vezon: I’m not dead. I mean, he’s not dead…wait…

Pohatu: I think we need some time to think this over. Agreed?

He looks around questioningly at the irritated Toa. One by one, they stomp out the door, Tahu smashing the threshold in raw fury.

Vezon follows. A few seconds later, a Spiket cart charges past, nearly running over the Skakdi. At the last second, he flips out of the way.

Vezon: I’m not dead!

Drake: And neither am I.

Lawyer: It’s a good thing I didn’t bet on that one. So who’s next on the list? Mata Nui?

Drake smiles menacingly.
Drake: No, pal. Remember, the Great Spirit is off limits. His flaws have already been categorized by the Authority on such matters. But as for the next challenge…that is for me to know, and you to not find out.
He settles back in his chair, deep in thought.
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Doctor Drake sits up in his chair.

fishers64: So you’re going to answer a few questions about this comedy.

Drake: Isn’t that your job?

Lawyer: It’s my job! I’m head of public relations!

fishers64: Very well. The Lawyer will now answer questions relating to this comedy.

Can I guest star in this comedy?

Lawyer: It’s an extremely dangerous proposition, but you may enter the highly dangerous world of this comedy to defend your favorite character from the tyranny of the Doctor. While I would advise against this, opposite rules apply. You may choose to defend your favorite hero from being classified as a villain, or you may try to prove that villain is really out to destroy the world.

How often will this comedy be updated? 
Lawyer: As soon as the Doctor can come up with a new challenge, which usually takes about a week. However, if a lot of people are attacking his positions, he usually tends to accelerate matters. (And for some reason, fall weather makes his mind slow down – I haven’t quite figured that out yet)

Are there any specials planned for this comedy?
Lawyer: That’s a question for our humanoid liaison.

fishers64: Maybe if we get a lot of guest defenders for a particular character, we’ll do something special. Other than that…

Doctor: That is for me to know, and you not to find out.

fishers64: We have to tell them about K- *Doctor slaps hand over fishers64’s mouth*

Okay! Okay! Fine, I guess that wasn’t part of the contract.

Lawyer: No, it most certainly was not.

fishers64: If you dare, join us next time on Spinning Doctor Drake! *looks at Doctor and the Lawyer* We’re all right…kinda.
 


Edited by fishers64, Dec 07 2013 - 07:36 PM.

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#2 Offline Purple God

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Posted Jan 22 2012 - 06:35 AM

... Fishers you are brilliant. It's a bit hard to read at times, but somehow turning Teridax into a well-intentioned extremist?I am following this just for your attempts at making villains well-intentioned extremists.
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~Prepare to fight — for, evidently, you have found peace intolerable.~


#3 Offline fishers64

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Posted Jan 22 2012 - 06:08 PM

... Fishers you are brilliant. It's a bit hard to read at times, but somehow turning Teridax into a well-intentioned extremist?I am following this just for your attempts at making villains well-intentioned extremists.

Is it funny? I know the Doctor is brilliant. I know I am brilliant.  :) But being brilliant and being funny are two different things. And why is this hard to read?

But making Teridax look like a "well-intentioned extermist" is not the Doctor's only trick. And with that, I give you the next chapter:


It’s a brand new day, and the evil Doctor Drake, notorious holder of a Ph. D in Matoran-era history, walks up to the general bulletin board in the center of New Atero, armed with his trusty hammer, an extra large Skakdi spike, and a challenge painted in bright red letters.

HISTORICAL CHARACTER RECLASSIFICATION NOTICE
Character: Tahu, Toa of Fire
Class: Evil Villainous Murderer
(Challenges to this reclassification are invited to meet me in twenty minutes)
Doctor Drake

Tahu stands at the bulletin board.

Tahu: What an injustice! That hazy fool will be the end of all our reputations!

Gali: Not again. Toa! We must stand united against this new threat to our sanity! *gestures emphatically to the bulletin board*

The seven Toa Nuva gather around the bulletin board.

Takanuva: I’m not sure we should listen to this guy or take him seriously. He’s only one crazy guy out of a hundred- *Takanuva is shoved out of the way as the six Toa shoot past him*

Vezon: Are you dead?

Takanuva: Not yet.

Vezon: He’s not dead!

Takanuva heads after the six Toa, Vezon trailing behind.

Meanwhile, the Doctor and the Lawyer are sitting at a café table, enjoying fish and boiled thornax strip sandwiches.

Rain is pouring down, attacking the sheet glass wall behind them.
Lawyer: Are you sure that was a good idea?

Drake: It doesn’t pay to be sure of anything much. After all, this guy we are talking about here duped youthful humanoids for ten years into thinking he was honorable. That’s a spectacular achievement.

Lawyer: Forget it.

Nearby TV: There is a tornado warning for New Atero. Please be advised. Residents are advised to take cover-
Tahu smashes the TV into a bunch of pieces. (since nobody remembered to count)

Vezon: It’s dead.

Lawyer: And so are we.

Drake: Betting on that one?

Lawyer: No. If I lose the bet, how am I supposed to collect my winnings?

Tahu: Okay, out with it. What’s with this plan to destroy us?

Drake: I merely speak the unblemished truth.

Tahu: Oh yeah, right! I didn’t murder anybody! In fact, I saved an entire world from people like you!

Drake: Actually, that was Mata Nui.

Tahu: If it hadn’t been for me, Mata Nui wouldn’t have been awake to fight Makuta.

Drake: And if you hadn’t awakened Mata Nui, Makuta wouldn’t have taken over the universe.

Tahu: How was I supposed to know that, fool? *shakes Drake by the shoulders*

Drake: I-di-dn’t say-that- yoooou- did. Pl-eeee-ase stoooooop.

Lewa: Tornado! Incoming! Get down!

Lawyer: No, you cool dude, run! *snatches Drake out away from Tahu and shoves him away*

Doctor Drake scrambles to his feet, and dashes out the door and down the street. The two are a block away when they see the tornado whirling past, six Toa and chairs and tables whirling about.

Tahu: I’ll sue you, Karzahni’s pet Rahi!

Lawyer: What does he mean?

Vezon: It means you should be dead. *he catches Drake in a stranglehold around the neck*

Lawyer: HELP!

Drake: Do som-fing.

The Lawyer kicks Vezon’s grip, forcing him to let go, and knocking the Doctor out.

*Botar’s Replacement runs around the corner.*
Botar’s Replacement: What’s going on here? Are you guys okay?

Vezon: You are an injustice that should be dead.

Botar’s Replacement: Why?

Vezon: Because Botar is dead. And you’re not. And I hate both of you.
*Botar’s Replacement disappears.*

Vezon: That was quick.

* * *

Tahu’s Lawyer: I’m telling you, you really should just ignore this guy.

Tahu: I have made my decision. I pay you to fill out the paperwork and get me a trial, not to have an opinion.

* * *

Drake: So, what’s your opinion on this trial?

Lawyer: I’m not paid to have an opinion.

Drake: I’m asking you anyway.

Lawyer: It’s not like you care. You never trust my judgment.

Drake: If I didn’t, why would I ask?

Lawyer: You want to know how well I support your position.

Drake: You don’t. I already know that.

Lawyer: So why did you ask?

Drake: I want to know your opinion.

Lawyer: Tahu is not a murderer, but he’s an cool dude for not paying attention to the tornado sirens.

Drake: Thanks, buddy. I knew I could count on you.

* * *

“The 333rd court… of the Most Honorable Blood Snail…WILL COME…TO ORDER.”

Everyone ignored him.

The Blood Snail, the extremely intelligent arbitrator of justice, lost patience. He opened his mouth, which contained more than his share of long, pointed teeth in his massive jaws.

“SHUT UP!”

Everyone jumped to attention.

Blood Snail: Will the plaintiff explain his accusation?

Tahu: This convict is representing me in a false manner. I am a public servant. I want a court order against him.
Tahu’s Lawyer: And the defendant led him into a tornado, sir. It was most unfortunate.

Blood Snail: *sigh* And you, Doctor Drake?

Drake: I merely speak the truth. He murdered 8 Makuta and 10, 000 Rahkshi.

Lawyer: Tahu failed to ignore a tornado warning, sir. Unfortunately, a tornado came and hit the café where he failed to take cover.

Blood Snail: (to Lawyer) Do you know why Tahu failed to take cover, sir?

Tahu: (to Drake) That was self-defense.

Lawyer: He was reckless and impulsive, valuing his fight with Drake more than his own safety.

Drake: It is still a fact.

Tahu: And I didn’t murder the Makuta, you. Where did you get that? They died because they didn’t get out of Karda Nui in time.

Tahu’s Lawyer: This was because of high provocation by the defendant, sir.

Drake: You could have tried to warn them.

Lawyer: Which he didn’t have to follow up on. Just because the defendant is insane does not excuse this conduct in the plaintiff.

Tahu: And get killed? No thanks.

Drake: That’s a false dichotomy.

“QUIET!” bellowed the Blood Snail. “Why do you proceed in causing disruption and wasting my time?”

Vezon: He’s not dead.

Blood Snail: I believe I can take care of that one, quickly and painlessly…

Tahu: RUN!

Drake: Relax, Tahu, he’s after…never mind.

Blood Snail: Go in peace. May you teach some of our more ignorant citizens a lesson. Your foolishness may show people how to be wise by avoiding your path.

Vezon: He’s not dead!

Blood Snail: No duh.

* * *

Drake: That was no fun.

Lawyer: Why not?

Drake: I didn’t get to prove my point and use all my long big-worded arguments. I love those.

Lawyer: Whatever. Who’s next?

Drake: I hate repeating myself. It gets old.

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Edited by fishers64, Dec 07 2013 - 07:38 PM.

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#4 Offline Scanty Demon

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Posted Jan 24 2012 - 09:42 PM

I must say this is an improvement over your last comedy (I found this a little funny). The Toa's reactions to Makuta's "character reclassification" are rather realistic and established Dr. Drake's character brilliantly. However I want to point out one plot hole. When Dr. Drake defends Makuta's "honorable hero" status he mentions how Teridax saved the MU by killing the eight Makuta in Karda Nui but when he calls Tahu a murderer he says Tahu murdered the eight Karda Nui Makuta to prove his point. Not only could Tahu use that to counter attack Dr. Drake but someone in the court would have picked that up and lowered Drake's credibility. You should fix that. I'll keep an eye on this.
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#5 Offline fishers64

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Posted Jan 29 2012 - 08:03 PM

I must say this is an improvement over your last comedy (I found this a little funny). The Toa's reactions to Makuta's "character reclassification" are rather realistic and established Dr. Drake's character brilliantly. However I want to point out one plot hole. When Dr. Drake defends Makuta's "honorable hero" status he mentions how Teridax saved the MU by killing the eight Makuta in Karda Nui but when he calls Tahu a murderer he says Tahu murdered the eight Karda Nui Makuta to prove his point. Not only could Tahu use that to counter attack Dr. Drake but someone in the court would have picked that up and lowered Drake's credibility. You should fix that.

Lawyer: We have a humanoid public relations problem.

Knock, knock, knock.

Drake: That’s your problem.

Tahu burst through the door, which disappeared in a cascade of flame.

Tahu: I know it! Why did I murder the Karda Nui Makuta when Teridax did not?

Drake: Simple. You, knowing that the Karda Nui Makuta would die if they stayed in there, failed to tell them to get out.

Tahu: Neither did Teridax, you fool.

Drake: He knew what disruption they would cause in his universe. You did not. After all, they didn’t kill you, even though they could have a million times over. You should have given them some respect.

Tahu: I knew that they were evil. They were stopping me from awakening Mata Nui.

Drake: Which allowed Makuta to take over the universe.

Tahu: Which was a good thing, according to you.

Drake: It was all part of Teridax’s brilliant plan. Get you to awaken the Great Spirit and kill off some pests at once.

Tahu: And yet I killed them.

Drake: You didn’t know that they were against Teridax, that they were your allies. You go and kill off your allies. What a fool!

Lawyer: You are giving me a headache.

Drake: Truth is absolute, morality is relative.

Tahu raised his flame sword to Drake’s neck.

Drake: I like it when you prove my points. Just like you did to Roodaka, forcing her to unmutate six wise Turaga-beings into a bunch of idiotic Toa that did nothing good.

Lawyer: What does Roodaka have anything to do with this?

Drake: Look out the window.

The Lawyer looked out the window. Somewhere near by, four bold red letters stood out:

HISTORICAL CHARACTER RECLASSIFICATION NOTICE

Character: Roodaka

Class:Wise influence

Doctor Drake

Lawyer: That was the most evil and sadistic character in the whole of Bionicle.

Doctor: No, she was just out to teach some arrogant Toa a lesson. Particularly an annoying upstart-

Lawyer: Who also ended up saving the Matoran from-

Drake: What did I say about not paying you to have an opinion?

Lawyer: Sorry.

Drake: I’m going for a walk. I need a break.

Lawyer: Isn’t that a sign of weakness?

Drake: No, I prefer to avoid violently inclined beings for a while.

Drake shoves past Tahu and walks out the door.  A few minutes later, he enters a grassy park in the center of the city and sees a Turaga walking about.

Drake: Greetings, Turaga. A pleasure to see you out and about.

Vakama: I doubt it. What do you have against me, that you categorize my enemy with reverence?

Drake: She was merely testing you. I know it is hard to believe, but-

Vakama: I do not question the wisdom of Mata Nui. But Roodaka was deluded and insane. I simply cannot fathom your…strangeness.

Drake: Perhaps she educated you on what insanity really is.

Vakama: If she had, you are exemplifying the characteristic.

Drake: Absolutely not. I am not deluded. I simply maintain that Roodaka was not.

Vakama: No, she was sadistic and had dreams of conquest, and was foolish enough to believe that obeying Teridax would allow her to achieve those aims.

Drake: That’s what she would have you believe. She had a different plan.

Vakama: Which failed. She thought she could seduce Teridax the same way she seduced Sidorak.

Drake: Roodaka was not like that. She knew that Teridax would not be so easily persuaded. What she meant to happen was for you to come over to Teridax’s side, which would be enough of a persuasion for her to stay around. But Roodaka didn’t want to stay around. She figured she would be given some outpost to rule somewhere, then she could defeat Teridax from there.

Vakama: You are admitting that she was evil?

Drake: No. Vakama, Teridax was an excellent hero, but Roodaka believed that she was even more honorable than he was. She wanted to teach you in the ways of honor, to drop all the heroic pride and arrogance. And it worked.

Vakama: Roodaka took over countless lands, enslaved countless beings, and turned me into a monster.

Drake: All for the greater good. I’m sorry for what you’ve gone through, but it was necessary. After all, her use of them allowed for the Order of Mata Nui to recognize the Visorak spiders for the…powerful teaching tools…that they are.

Vakama: You are insane.

Drake: People should stop calling me that. It is really getting old.

Vakama: So what do you make of Roodaka trying to subvert Teridax later?

Drake: She disagreed with his methods. They weren’t exactly the best ones available, but desperate times call for desperate measures, so I can’t really blame him.

Nokama walks up.

Nokama: Who are you?

Drake: Just an ordainary Matoran, out for a walk. And you?

Vakama: (aside to Nokama, whispering) He’s been stirring up some trouble lately, sending Tahu off his rockers.

Nokama: Tahu has been mighty sensitive lately.

Drake: Exactly.

Vakama: That doesn’t excuse your provocation.

Drake: I speak the truth. Most beings don’t want to hear it. They want to hear what they think is the truth repeated back to them to ensure themselves that they have it together and under control. Anyone who says anything different is a threat to their security, even if it is right. However, it is better for me to speak the truth than to lie or be silent.

Vakama: Why should you? It only causes problems.

Drake: Because I can.

Nokama: What about Roodaka? That cruel thing seduced Vakama into betraying us.

Drake: And taught him a valuable lesson.

Nokama: At my expense.

Drake: Bitterness clouds your judgment.

Vakama shook his head.

Vakama: You are so misguided. You cannot imagine how painful this is for me; my team can never fully trust me again.

Drake: I cannot, but I know that you are wrong. Truth can cause pain.

???: Yes, indeed.

Drake whirled about, only to see nothing but the shadows of a New Atero alleyway. He did, however, feel a hand close around his throat and blackness descend over his brain.


* * *

Lawyer: You’re fired.

fishers64: Excuse me?

Lawyer: You have been doing a horrible job of being a humanoid liaison. Only two people have bothered to respond to our message.

fishers64: The Doctor has been blowing their minds away. They can’t think of anything to respond to him.

Lawyer: And you have done a horrible job of promoting us. That promo image looks so stupid. Lime green? Forget it.

fishers64: It’s not my fault that BZP is elitist.

Lawyer: Even the most unintelligent BZP member knows that lime green is a sign of stupidity.

fishers64: Since I am the most unintelligent BZP member, by your own admission, that statement is invalid.

Lawyer: I am taking over the job of humanoid liaison until I can find another one.

fishers64: Good luck with that. Nobody else on there wants to deal with the Doctor, and you don’t want to deal with BZPower for very long. Really, you don’t.
* * *
Matau: Roodaka ever-turned me into a monster, quick-flipped Vakama traitor-evil, and you what me to fast-believe that was happy-friendly! You ever-insane! Many ever-sad memories come-fast. No wind-fly, only ground-walk. Me ever-ugly.

???: Shut up.

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Edited by fishers64, Dec 07 2013 - 07:39 PM.

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#6 Offline fishers64

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Posted Feb 17 2012 - 09:44 PM

HISTORICAL CHARACTER RECLASSIFICATION NOTICE
Character: Nektann

Class: Pretty Cool Dude

(posted by Vezon)

Doctor Drake(signature forged)

Knock, knock, knock. 

Lawyer: *sigh* I'm still asleep, go away. 

Knock, knock, knock.

Scowling, the Lawyer dragged himself out of bed. It was then he noticed that the sun was high overhead. Usually, the Doctor woke him up early. 

Lawyer: (to himself) I guess he was lazier than me today. I'm coming! Give me a second!

He opened the door. 

Vezon: You're not dead!

Lawyer: Thanks. That's the closest thing to a complement I have had all week. 

Vezon: He's not dead either. 

The Lawyer looked at the blue Skakdi standing next to Vezon.

Lawyer: Good to know.

Random Blue Skakdi (RBS): Neither is Doctor Drake. However, he is missing. 

Lawyer: Good! He better stay missing! I don’t want to see him through my door of my law practice ever again!

Vezon: He’s not dead.

Lawyer: And that goes for you two, as well!

The Lawyer slams his door shut on the two Skakdi.

RBS: This was your idea.

Vezon: He’s not dead.

RBS: Will you stop saying that?

Vezon: I’m not dead.

RBS:…

Instead of replying to Vezon, RBS blasted the door with his impact vision, creating two dime-sized holes in it. This he promptly used to rip the door off his hinges and crash into the room.

RBS: So, about Doctor Drake…

Vezon: He’s not going to be dead.

* * *

Drake: Your arrogance and loose tongue cost Vakama his sanity.

Matau: And taught him a valuable lesson, I hear.

Drake: That was Roodaka. She fixed a problem that you contributed to, that, without your contribution, would not have existed in the first place. But I don’t really care. Our main prerogative is to get out of this…jail cell…

Matau: You don’t care about me?

Drake: I can deal with you later. Right now, consider yourself a hero. Perform some heroic act and get us out of here.

Matau: Slender female form approaching. *shudders*

Drake: I hope that’s not…oh, wait, there’s two of them.

Matau: Lovely couple.

Drake: A match made in Karzanhi.

Roodaka: More like an associate. He paid my bail money.

Nektann: And helped you escape Botar’s Replacement.
* * *
Nektann held the blade of his Skakdi blade up to Botar’s Replacement’s throat, gripping him around the chest. Energy crackled around Roodaka, holding her in place.

Nektann: If don’t let her go, I’ll call the Doctor and get you reclassified. That’s after your death.

* * *
Roodaka: Technicalities.

Drake: That is to be expected.

Nektann: The two of us are up on trial. We are hiring a defense lawyer.

Drake: I’m not surprised.

Roodaka:…

Nektann:…

Matau: Don’t quick-listen to him. He wants a quick-way to self-free. 

Drake: I have always wanted to meet these esteemed defenders of truth and justice. However, their method of invitation could leave something to be desired.

Nektann:…

Roodaka: Perhaps an improvement is on order, Drake.

Roodaka walks up the cage and opens the door. Drake and Matau stay where they are.

Matau: Let’s…go…

Drake: After you.

* * *
Turaga Vakama: Today we honor the Great Spirit Mata Nui, who has given us the Three Virtues –

All Matoran: Unity, Duty, Destiny!

Vakama:…but some of us do not follow the principles set forth by him.

Drake: (whispering, aside to Matau and Vezon) Some of us choose higher, better paths. It’s a personal choice, one that shouldn’t be dealt with by the state.

Vezon nods in agreement.

Vakama: Unfortunately, some of us have transgressed these principles in quests for personal gain. Today, we will evaluate their futures, in order to ensure peace and prosperity for all. We will remember deeds past, and bring hope to the future.

The Matoran clap and cheer.

Vakama: This is the way of the Bionicle.

Dead silence.

Drake: (whispering again) It’s his favorite line. He still hasn’t got it that nobody likes it but him.

Random Announcer Guy: Today, we welcome three forces.

Random Announcer Guy: We welcome the Great Arbiter of Justice, Mr. Blood Snail!

The Blood Snail slithers up to his position behind the desk behind the desk marked “Judge”.

Random Announcer Guy: And from the depths of Mata Nui, the challengers, Helryx and Brutaka!

Random Ga-Matoran: Yay, Toa Helryx! Woo! *camera flash*

Random Announcer Guy: And from the Pit Prison, your very own nefarious criminals themselves, Nektann and Roodaka!

Random Po-Matoran: Ho-ly mo-ly!

Drake: Jaller was right. They do have rocks in their heads.

Lawyer: Sheesh. Don’t say that so loud.

Drake: What are you doing here?

Lawyer:…*glances at RBS*

Drake:…

Blood Snail: Will the plaintiffs please explain their accusation?

Helryx: Well, as I am sure you are well aware, these two have negatively impacted Mata Nui’s welfare. *waves right hand to the right, knocking over a glass of water* They caused serious problems for my organization.

Roodaka: I didn't even know about your organization.

Helryx: As was saying, this little insolent Vortixx contributed to a war that was positively crippling Mata Nui. Not to mention disturbing the Toa Metru’s valiant efforts to reclaim their city.

Roodaka: Just taking my opportunities where they lie.

Helryx: Will you stop interrupting me? And as for this brute over there, I don’t even want to hear it. He has been constantly thwarting ourefforts to form peace on Zakaz. He even tried to conquer Spherus Magna – only the Great Spirit could have stopped him. don’t even want to think about what happened if he got away with his evil plan.

Blood Snail: And the defense?

Roodaka: Good sir, we would like to call a witness to the stand.

Blood Snail: Who would that be?

Vezon stands up and walks to the stand.

Vezon: Roodaka is not dead.

Blood Snail:…

Vezon: Roodaka should not be dead.

Blood Snail:…

Vezon: At one point, Brutaka left Roodaka for dead. He sold her to the relatives of Sidorak, which would have been worse than being dead.

Brutaka: We needed a boat, and I had no money. And I did rescue her afterwards.

Drake: (aside to Lawyer) This is getting crazy.

Lawyer: There is something wrong with your chair.

Drake: What, is it broken?

Lawyer: You’re sitting in it.

Drake stands up.

Drake: That does not preclude the injustice done to my client.

Blood Snail: They are not your clients.

Drake: They are now. I find your arguments against them to be entirely ridiculous. These people have committed no crime.

Brutaka: *crosses arms* Aside from collaborating on wars, turning perfectly innocent heroes into monsters, and facilitating the plans of the evil Makuta –

Drake: Who did save this planet from people like you! I don’t even want to hear that. To be honest, Roodaka taught some foolishly upstart Toa a lesson a few times. I have to admit that her attempt to teach the Toa Hagah the ways of reason failed miserably, but the Toa Metru were a masterpiece. They were too proud and arrogant. Surely you know the lesson they taught, seeing as you had to learn it yourself.
And Nektann, my good friend knows how to eliminate a threat. He has ordered the creation of a marvelous being. His potential is amazing. Remember how he defeated that pesky Annona who was causing the Iron Tribe Agori so much trouble? Without him, the Agori would all be dead.

All Agori:  :confused:

Drake: Not to mention the fact that he gave Tahu a chance to make a philosophical speech in the middle of a battle. A derangedphilosophical speech, I might add, after which he caused serious damage to the defendant’s armor.

Helryx: Completely justified. The defendant was only choking the life out of him.

Drake: If Tahu was choking, how could he talk?

Brutaka: Besides, Nektann was trying to take over and rule this spit of rock. He’s a warlord. What do you say to that?

Drake: I am sure he would have done better than our current leadership, who persists in degrading his valiant character. He only wanted what was best for his people.

Helryx: At the expense of everybody else. Including me and my organization, which is dedicated to safety and security in the universe.

Drake: Your precious organization discriminates against Skakdi and other beings and favors Matoran.

Helryx: Which have only kept the Matoran Universe alive for 100,000 years.

Drake: Even the name is discriminatory.

Blood Snail: Enough! We are not in the Matoran Universe currently. Helryx is not on trial here, and the defense has failed to produce any real evidence.

Drake: Neither has the prosecution.

Blood Snail: There was the war on Zakaz.

Drake: That wasn’t Nektann’s fault. Skakdi are Skakdi. A Makuta made a mistake.

Blood Snail: And you want me to release these people into our society, seeing as they have contributed to problems in the past, like a war?

Drake: I know exactly what they are going to do if you release them.

Blood Snail: Which is?

Drake: It’s not relevant. You aren’t going to release them.

Blood Snail: I’m considering it.

Drake: They will kill each other.

Blood Snail: Interesting…

Turaga Vakama: Don’t do it! They will take thousands of Vortixx, Skakdi, and Matoran lives before they do!

Random Matoran: Imprison them! Imprison them! Imprison them!

Blood Snail:…

The Matoran in the stands stand up and join the chant. The Agori look around, confused.

Blood Snail: I suppose it is to the jails then.

Botar’s Replacement appears, his arms around Nektann and Roodaka. Energy fields form around the two, and they disappear.

Lawyer: Let’s get out of here. It’s going to be a mob scene shortly.

Matau: Quick-turn-mad-froth-ever-quick.

Drake, the Lawyer, Matau, Vezon, and the Random Blue Skakdi elbow their way out of the crowd and out of the court. The Random Blue Skakdi is rather helpful in this regard.

Lawyer: That was awful. For you, anyway.

Drake: Our society is based on insanity. I do what I can.

Matau: (whispering) So are you going to quick-break Roodaka and Nektann out of jail?

Vezon: He’s not dead.

Lawyer: Shut up.

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Lawyer: All right, we are announcing a change of plan. Since nobody wants to guest star, we are taking character suggestions. Tell us who you want to see the Doctor go after next. Also, fishers64 is looking for quotes you think are sig worthy. Tell us what you think, and I will get the Doctor to hurry up (he's so slow).
 


Edited by fishers64, Dec 07 2013 - 07:40 PM.

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#7 Offline Scanty Demon

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Posted Feb 17 2012 - 10:22 PM

Well I'm back (and with a document that states Dr. Doctor Drake should lose his Ph.d because he is schizophrenic) and with more comments. I'd like to say that Doctor Drake is a bit a Mary sue, why do I think this because he can counter every single (every single one) argument. He never makes a mistake or slip up. Please make him a more flawed character. This becomes annoying and at times agitating. I'd also wish you'd tone down the "you're not dead" jokes.On the positive side you made me feelings toward a character. I've rarely had any sort of emotion towards characters, but I congratulate you on making me feel emotions. Plus I might have questioned some events in Bionicle cannon. I also will add I like Drake's lawyer considering he is an only sane man.Keep writing.
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#8 Offline fishers64

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Posted Mar 06 2012 - 10:42 PM

Well I'm back (and with a document that states Dr. Doctor Drake should lose his Ph.d because he is schizophrenic) and with more comments. I'd like to say that Doctor Drake is a bit a Mary sue, why do I think this because he can counter every single (every single one) argument. He never makes a mistake or slip up. Please make him a more flawed character. This becomes annoying and at times agitating. I'd also wish you'd tone down the "you're not dead" jokes.

On the positive side you made me feelings toward a character. I've rarely had any sort of emotion towards characters, but I congratulate you on making me feel emotions. Plus I might have questioned some events in Bionicle cannon. I also will add I like Drake's lawyer considering he is an only sane man.

Keep writing.

Vezon: He’s not dead.

fishers64: No, he’s just been doing stuff in real life.

Lawyer: It looks like you aren’t coming off too good, Drake. We need to tone you down a little.

Drake: I’m not schizophrenic. Schizophrenic people see people that aren’t there. Vezon, do you see the Lawyer?

Vezon: He’s not dead.

Drake: Lawyer, do you see Vezon?

Lawyer: Yes.

fishers64: I see all of you.

Drake: That could be a case for you being schizophrenic. But I most certainly am not. What is that guy thinking? And I am not a girl!

Lawyer: You are hogging the spotlight a little too much, Drake.

Drake: This is my comedy. See the title? Mine. All mine!

Matau: He does quick-admit to being insane.

Drake: I don’t care! I don’t understand why BZPower can’t understand me!

fishers64: Dude, chill out. Besides, this is one guy’s opinion. He is one of thousands.

Drake: No one posted to disagree with him. That implies assent.

fishers64: Nobody reads this comedy except for him. I’m glad we are getting any response at all.

Drake: I AM THE EVIL DOCTOR DRAKE! I DO NOT MAKE MISTAKES!

fishers64: We could talk about K-

Drake: No, we are not talking about him. I don’t ever want to see him in this comedy, ever.

Matau: Ever-scared, Drake?

Lawyer: All of you, get out of my office. I need to think.

Drake: What are you going to be thinking about, besides ways to plot my downfall? I need you here. I need you sharp. I need you thinking about how you are going to deal with my latest plan.

Lawyer: That’s easy. I’m going to dive into a well and pull a bunch of rocks down on my head.

Drake:…

Vezon: Then he would be dead.

Matau: Don’t you ever-listen to mutherax? Shut up.

Drake: I’m out of here. I don’t want to see you ever again. And I never want to see that cool dude from BZPower in this topic anymore!  :burnmad:*walks out the door and slams it shut*

fishers64: He seriously needs to chill. This is not looking good for public relations.

Lawyer: Sorry mutherax. I have a headache now, but thanks for the compliment anyway. I knew that this was going to happen.

Matau: Me-follow ever-quick. *he scrambles out the door*

Lawyer: (to fishers64) Get out of here. I fired you.

fishers64: What did I tell you about dealing with BZPower?

HISTORICAL CHARACTER RECLASSIFICATION NOTICE

Character: Skrall

Class: Misunderstood guardians of truth and justice

Doctor Drake


RBS and the Lawyer walk down the city streets, randomly wandering about. As they do, they came upon a weapons vendor.

RBS: Can I examine that shield?

Vendor: It’s nothing, just standard Skrall issue.

RBS pulled up the shield and twirled it about.

RBS: Looks pretty sturdy. Does it have any special properties?

Vendor: Just a standard iron shield. Blocks arrows, swords, thornax, that kind of stuff.

Lawyer: And what are those? *he points to a group of round metal objects*

Vendor: Oh, those are just training weights. We used to sell those back when we did Arena fights. They have largely gone out of vogue.

Lawyer: Can I get, like, six of those? And three of the shields?

Vendor: :delighted: Sure. I’ll even hand deliver them for you.

RBS: What are you doing?

Lawyer: (aside) Shhh. I have an idea.

* * *

Drake: I need to relax. I don’t care what people think. I don’t. I don’t!

???: We want our Bionicle characters back! We want our heroes back!

Drake: I am going crazy.

Drake ducks through a crack in the New Atero wall, only to come face to face with some Skrall.

Drake: Hi there.

Skrall: ???

Drake slips back into the city walls.

???: Stop Doctor Drake! Stop Doctor Drake!

* * *

Lawyer: Careful with that.

RBS: That’s your problem.

Lawyer: Maybe.

The Lawyer pulls himself away from his desk and examines the ropes coming down from the ceiling.

fishers64: This is insane.

Lawyer: No. It’s logical, given my clientele.

fishers64: Whatever. *resumes work with screwdriver on door hinge* There. Should be installed now.

RBS: Well, this place needed a new door anyway.

* * *

Drake: Hi there.

Vezon: Your-

Drake: Shut up. Just be quiet, and don’t talk.

???: Stop Drake! End the madness!

Drake: Come on.

A pair of befuddled Skrall follow them. A bunch of masked beings march past, carrying picket signs. The four beings press themselves against the side of the dingy alley.

Drake: (whispering) Tahu. I knew he was instigating this.

Vezon:…

Skrall: ???

Drake: *shakes his head* Let’s move.

* * *

Random Matoran: Look, it’s Drake’s lawyer’s office! He’ll know where Drake is!

Random Matoran runs to the door, and the mob follows him. The imposing group of belligerents glares in from the Lawyer’s front windows.

fishers64: BZPower.

Tahu: Open up!

Doctor Drake enters in through the back door, panting heavily.

Lawyer: Um…I’m dealing with a client right now, sir. To maintain privacy, you’ll have to wait. It’s the law.

Tahu: Let me in!

The Lawyer slams the door shut. The crowd, however, begins to lift rocks toward the windows.

The Lawyer ran into his office, frantically undoing a knot. Three Skrall shields swing down from the ceiling, thudding against the wall.

Rocks hammered against the now-shielded windows and reinforced door.

Lawyer: After Tahu, I wasn’t taking any chances.

Drake: You got them on discount.

fishers64: They work. Pizza?

Vezon: You’re not dead.

fishers64: Nah, just fired. You should understand transdimensional travel, Vezon.

Vezon: I don’t understand it. It just happens.

RBS: I don’t like this plan.

Drake: We don’t have a plan. Well, actually, I have a plan. I always have a plan.

Lawyer: I hope this plan does not include us sitting around here like a bunch of pathetic morons. And fishers64, that’s hideous.

fishers64: I’ll take that as a complement.

Vezon reaches across and takes a bite.

Vezon: Bleh! How can you eat this?

fishers64: It’s actually pretty tasty to me. *opens can of soda and takes a sip*. Just think, somewhere out there there is a dimension of people just like me.

RBS: Do they all do eat those nasty-things?

fishers64: Yes. It is one of the few things we have in common. One of the very few.

Lawyer: Ugh. It’s raining.

Drake: Those are rocks.

Vezon: Those guys aren’t dead. *points to the Skrall*

fishers64: I haven’t seen too many challenges, do you?

Drake: It’s a shame. I had my argument all prepared, and then this happened. Although I believe the Lawyer has proved my point better than me.

Lawyer: You mean that?

Drake: Of course not. I’m slipping up.

fishers64: You can’t slip up, only down.

Drake: It’s been a bad day.

fishers64: Have you found a person for that humanoid liaison job yet?

Lawyer: Can you get those people away from my office?

fishers64: Maybe.

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Edited by fishers64, Dec 07 2013 - 07:42 PM.

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#9 Offline fishers64

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Posted Mar 24 2012 - 11:21 PM

Rain poured down, dripping between the shattered windows and the Skrall shields. 

fishers64 peeks under a shield.

fishers64: They are all gone now. Do I get my job back? 

Lawyer: No. 

Drake: She did better than you. I'm giving it back. 

Lawyer: I guess you are right. So what are we doing next? 

Drake: I'm tired. 

fishers64: You should take a nap. 

Drake: Agreed. *shuffles out*

RBS: I'm following him. I don't want any more trouble today. 

Lawyer: That's a hopeless cause. 

Matau enters.

Matau: Where's Drake? 

fishers64: Taking a nap. The past couple days have worn him out. 

Matau: I'll give him some time to recover his senses. I think he's lost it. 

fishers64: Maybe we should look outside. 

Lawyer: There's nothing out there. 

Vezon marches in, carrying two sheets of paper. 

Vezon: He's not dead. 

All others: Who?

Vezon slaps the pieces of paper on the table. 

HISTORICAL CHARACTER RECLASSIFICATION NOTICE

Character: Lewa

Class: Bumbling villain of extreme incompetence

Doctor Drake

HISTORICAL CHARACTER RECLASSIFICATION NOTICE

Character: Krika

Class: Morally upright character

Doctor Drake

Lawyer: This isn't Drake's handwriting. This is a forgery. 

fishers64: Don't look at me. I have business to take care of. *leaves*

Matau: Drake's not the only one who has lost it. 

Lawyer: No, that's only typical fishers64. Less talk, more action. 

Matau: You're kidding. 

Lawyer: I am. 

***

fishers64: Can't you give an old guy some peace and quiet? He will come out and answer you when his mind has cleared. 

Mob: Of course. That makes sense. 

fishers64: Thanks. Now leave. 

The Mob leaves. 

Two hours later...

Drake: Feeling much better now. 

Matau: Hi there. 

Lawyer: We have some notices for you, Drake. 

Drake walks over and reads the notices.

Drake: fishers64...

Lawyer: I don't see her in here. 

Matau: All I've got to say is that while Lewa was ever-incompetent, he did better battle-fights over time. And he is not villain-evil. 

Vezon: Krika's not dead. 

Drake: Shut up! One at a time. Anyway, Lewa was an insane nutcase. He was too fun loving and was having trouble giving that up, so he took several poisons to try to cure it. Unfortunately, Onua thwarted him, kept coming up and finding him, and giving him some claptrap about being a hero as an excuse to make it look like a mistake. 

Matau: You are suggesting that Lewa was quick-sharp enough to smart-plan each of his infections and quick-pretend to overcome them each time? That's a little much for him. 

Drake: Of course not. He just happened to run across them during his acts of “heroism” and was stupid enough to think that it might cure his contradictory nature. Onua just made him realize that it wasn't working. Eventually he got over it and channeled it into stupid names like Skyblaster. 

Matau: Is Onua a hero?

Drake: No, he's despicable. He perpetrated the illusion that Lewa was infected by forces above his control. 

Matau: I have well-met Lewa, and you have never-seen him. He is good-hearted. 

Drake: He is quite talented at deception, I assure you. 

Matau: So you quick-know? Ha. You should meet-talk with him, and ever-listen. Now if you'll excuse me, I have business to attend to. *leaves*

Lawyer: There's a lot of that going around. 

Drake: It's a pathetic excuse to avoid talking with me. Where is fishers64?

Lawyer: Haven't seen her since you gave her her job back. That's probably why she was hanging around here to begin with. 

Drake: Then we shouldn't worry about her. I'm going to go get our Skakdi friend and Vezon; we have a pair of friends to rescue. 

Skrall: ???

Lawyer: You're crazy, right? You are going to break into an Order of Mata Nui prison?

Drake: I have a plan. 

Lawyer: The world hath ended. 

Drake: And I have restored it. You all owe me. Come on, you're all coming with me. *looks at the Skrall* You too. I'm going to need an extra pair of swords. 

***

Lawyer: *holds nose* Ugh. I am not going down there. That is not in my job description.

Drake: Suit yourself.

Drake climbs down the ladder, emerging into the sewage tunnels beneath New Atero. The Skrall climb down the stairs after him without a word. For a while, Drake and the Skrall just stand there, looking up at the three above. Then the Random Blue Skakdi climbs down the ladder, followed closely behind by Vezon.

Lawyer: You don’t have to do this, Drake.

Drake: I owe a pair of friends.

Lawyer: And I’m your friend. Please don’t do this.

Drake: No, you are my lawyer. I paid you for your assent earlier, but I won’t do it again. I need allies here, not associates.

Lawyer: You are insane.

Drake: Thank You.

When Drake looks up, the Lawyer is gone.

* * *

Drake and his companions walk through the tunnel. Drake and his companions reach the end of the tunnel. 

They walk over a bridge into another tunnel. 

They repeat this process several times. 

RBS: Are we getting lost?

They reach the end of another tunnel. Inscribed on the end of it are the words: 

This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper.*


Drake: Tear down this wall. 

Two Skrall load their Thornax, blasting the wall. With the aid of the impact vision of the Skakdi, the blast crumples the wall, revealing drain pipes and a ladder. 

The four look up. 

RBS: Where's Vezon?

Drake: He's not dead. Just somewhere else. 

Explosive thornax met protosteel, and protosteel lost. 

The four emerged into a large dungeon. True to form for an Order of Mata Nui prison, there were no guards. 

Roodaka: Drake! You are everything I'd hoped you'd be. 

Drake gestures to his minions. Locks explode. 

A groan emits from a nearby cell. Drake pauses. 

Drake: Who is that?

???: An old, tired, thing. 

Drake turns to the last cell, where a black armored hulk kneels in a space much too small for him. 

Skrall: :fright:

RBS: Be careful. 

Drake: I'm sorry, sir. I'm sure you have been misunderstood. 

Drake gestures back to his minions, only to find only the Random Blue Skakdi standing there. 

RBS: You want me to release that thing?

Angry, the being blasted him with a bolt of shadow, knocking him into a nearby wall. 

Drake: Relax. We are all friends here. 

???: I have no friends. 

Drake: Wise. They tend to interfere with your plans. 

???: You amuse me, little Matoran. 

RBS: *faintly* Don't...

Drake inserts the lock pick and fiddles with it. It takes him a second, but the lock turns. 

The colossus crawls into the space, Drake nervously backing away. A pair of blasts send him through the wall and into the open sun. The Makuta emerges, scooping up the Matoran, who is clearly unconscious. 

Mob: *off in the distance* Stop Doctor Drake! Stop Doctor Drake!

The Mob marches through the streets, busting into an abandoned law practice. Pillaging the Skrall shields inside, they spread out, intent on capturing a quarry which is already on the outside of the city. 

* * *

Makuta Miserix barrels into his old lair in the Black Spike mountains, intent on salvaging parts to move to a new base of operations. Most of any equipment of use had been taken during the Order raid, but the caution of his long existance had advised him to store his valuable research in secret compartments in the cave walls. 

In one such compartment, he finds an old item that he has salvaged from old Metru Nui: a stasis tube. Considering the Matoran on his back, he takes it with him. 

Miserix: A deranged Matoran may be useful someday, but until then, I want him to be quiet. 

100 years later...

Vezon appears.

It is clear that this area was raided. Vezon would know. He has seen countless raids in countless dimensions for countless reasons. Recently, he has returned from a dimension where white armoured Makuta are struggling againest strange creatures with pink grass-like substance growing out of their hoofed bodies. 

But, he's here. The only thing intact in this cavern of half-built creations and living nightmares was a single old stasis tube with a Matoran in it. Curious, Vezon pops off the top and lifts out the Matoran, setting him down. 

Vezon: Who are you?

Drake: Doctor Drake, Ph. D of Matoran Era History. *whips out document*

Vezon: ...

Drake: Trust me, it's authentic. Do you know the way out of here?

Vezon nods. The two of them walk to the first bend.

Vezon: This way. 

This happens several times. 

Drake: This way. 

Vezon: What are you talking about?

Drake: Because we went the other way the last time we were here. 

They enter New Atero under the cover of darkness. 

Drake: This way. 

Drake opens the door to the room. Dust billows up from piles of untouched tablets. 

Drake: History. I helped to fix it once, I think. 

Drake lights a nearby lamp. Drake picks up a tablet marked "Characters". 

Drake: This is horrendous. This-this is unconscionable. How could they do this?

Vezon: ...

Drake: Look at this...this tablet, and this tablet and this one! All wrong! 

Drake darts past Vezon, grabbing a paper and pen and frantically scribbling. 

Drake: I'm calling my lawyer. This is unacceptable. 

Snatching a Skakdi spike off of Vezon, Drake barges out of the library and into New Atero's square, heading straight for the community bulletin board. 

The pink light of the sun appears on the horizon, revealing the following words: 

HISTORICAL CHARACTER RECLASSIFICATION NOTICE

Character: Makuta Teridax

Class: Honorable Hero

Doctor Drake

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____________________________________________________

*from “The Hollow Men” by T.S. Eliot. 


Edited by fishers64, Dec 07 2013 - 07:44 PM.

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#10 Offline Scanty Demon

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Posted Mar 25 2012 - 06:41 PM

A thousand apologies for the delay. Anyway my defense of my diagnosis of Drake's schizophrenia is that he has an established mindset of who's good and evil. If say Gali was evil in his mind any proof otherwise is immediately blocked and only proves in some unlikely convoluted way that she is evil.On to the review, I will say I like seeing Drake's actions having consequences and seeing an angry mob form to get him. I'm also finding more reason to like Drake's lawyer but I wish he had a name. I will also add that you are skilled at writing a good self insert, Spinning Drake Fishers64 does not display any Mary Sue traits at all. You did also accurately describe the Order's security easily penetrated by a Matoran (see Brothers in Arms for proof of this). So far it seems Vezon has very little personality other than being crazy and saying "you're/X is not dead" hopefully he will develope. I believe Krika double crossed the Brotherhood to help the Toa so I'm asking why is Drake defending the evil Krika? Also the ending was a little confusing, I know they broke out of the Order prison but what happened next? This is shaping up to be a very interesting comedy. Keep writing.
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#11 Offline fishers64

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Posted Mar 25 2012 - 07:02 PM

So far it seems Vezon has very little personality other than being crazy and saying "you're/X is not dead" hopefully he will develope. I believe Krika double crossed the Brotherhood to help the Toa so I'm asking why is Drake defending the evil Krika? Also the ending was a little confusing, I know they broke out of the Order prison but what happened next?

Miserix broke out of the order prison, blasting Drake through the wall, which knocked him unconscious. Then Miserix took him out of the city and put him in a stasis tube.100 years later, after another Order raid on Miserix's lair leaves the lair abandoned, Vezon shows up and gets Drake out of the stasis tube. They walk back into the city, and Drake goes to the library and finds that, in the 100 years that he has been imprisoned, that history has been altered back to normal. So he goes and posts the Historical Character Reclassification Notice, which is also the same notice on the beginning of this comedy. Thus this comedy is eternal, constantly spinning around in a void of circular time. That's why it is called "Spinning Doctor Drake". The spin doctor is spun. Now as for Krika, that was an overt act of sabotage by fishers64, trying to put Drake in a tight spot. Drake had absolutely nothing to do with it. After all, Krika is Drake's worst nightmare, a completely morally ambiguous character. If Drake says he is a villain, we will agree; if he's a hero, we will go along as well. (Plus, "I" mentioned his first initial earilier - in the first chapter) The point of Vezon is that he is crazy. He is crazy enough to go along with this. And his line is a running gag. Anyway, thank you very much for the comments. Better late than never.

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#12 Offline CHRIS PRATT

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Posted Jun 13 2012 - 08:55 PM

A CCC Review – Spinning Doctor DrakeAt first glance, I must say that this comedy doesn’t interest all that much- there isn’t much explanation of what is going on, and for someone flipping through the forum without much time, that means this comedy gets left behind in the dustbin.However, if someone flipping through the forum to have time enough on their hands to peer a little further, the true brilliance of this comedy would quickly become clear. Doctor Drake is a rather fine character- at first, his being able to easily combat or twist every argument put against him is confusing and doesn’t make much sense, but when you get to the end of the comedy it explains itself in a very simple yet complex way; and that is possibly one of the highest forms of praise I could deliver.Several running gags, such as the usage of “___is not dead” from Vezon and the Lawyer’s consistently wishing he did not have to work for the Doctor I found to be very funny, and those too were explained perfectly by the ending.The smaller cast of characters works well for this comedy, as did the relatively small plot. It made the overall story far more cohesive and enjoyable, as you didn’t have to waste time characterizing huge armies. I did find the ending to be a tad rushed, but at the same time I’m not entirely certain extending it by a chapter would have been a better idea.The spelling and grammar throughout this comedy was superb, and I have no real comments to make on the matter.The characterizations done by the Doctor were very funny, as were his arguments for why the characters were actually like that. In addition, I enjoyed watching the characters being accused attempting to show everyone that they were right, even though the Doctor actually sounded more convincing to me.I enjoy the idea that the plot simply continues to spin and revolve every one hundred years almost exactly the same; it is a fresh take on the idea, instead of simply rehashing the idea of a time paradox or some other complicated matter. In addition, it’s a very clever way to actually work the title into the story, and for that I commend you.This was actually one of the best comedies I’ve ever read on BZPower, and thus I think it deserves the score I’ve given it below. Whatever nitpicks I have made during this review are that: just nitpicks. I’ll be linking this everywhere I can, and you can bet there will be mentions in my comedies, because this comedy deserves more attention than it has garnered so far.Final Score: 98%
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#13 Offline Athmos

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Posted Jun 17 2012 - 07:54 AM

This is really funny. I hate the doctor though.
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WIP


#14 Offline King of the Madness Isles

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Posted Jun 26 2012 - 02:59 PM

I read through this, and I like it. It was a bit confusing at first, but I got it after a little while. It's pretty funny, and an original idea (as far as I know). My favorite character was probably the Doctor, or the Lawyer. Good job.
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"The moral of the story is, I chose a half measure when I should have gone all the way. I'll never make that mistake again. No more half measures Walter."





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