Jump to content

  • Log in with Facebook Log in with Twitter Log In with Google      Sign In   
  • Create Account

Welcome to BZPower!

Hi there, while we hope you enjoy browsing through the site, there's a lot more you can do if you register. The process is easy and you can use your Google, Facebook, or Twitter account to make it even faster. Some perks of joining include:
  • Create your own topics, participate in existing discussions, and vote in polls
  • Show off your creations, stories, art, music, and movies and play member and staff-run games
  • Enter contests to win free LEGO sets and other prizes, and vote to decide the winners
  • Participate in raffles, including exclusive raffles for new members, and win free LEGO sets
  • Send private messages to other members
  • Organize with other members to attend or send your MOCs to LEGO fan events all over the world
  • Much, much more!
Enjoy your visit!


Photo

Makuta Hunt Review Topic


  • Please log in to reply
122 replies to this topic

#121 Offline Yaldabaoth

Yaldabaoth
  • Members
  • Defender of Mata Nui

  • 2,181 posts
  •  

Posted Jul 26 2013 - 09:56 PM

It's great that people still remember it. :P But can you be so sure who this shadowy figure is? Last I checked, Umbra was a being of pure Light. Hmm... 


  • 0
 
New short story:
 
DESCENDANT, starring Kraata-Kal
 
Older stories:
 
AN EVEN EXCHANGE, starring the Makuta of Stelt
 
THE END OF THE BROTHERHOOD, starring Tobduk and Makuta Chirox

#122 Offline -Toa Lhikevikk-

-Toa Lhikevikk-
  • Premier Member
  • Premier Outstanding BZP Citizens
  • Stone Champion Nuva

  • 1,513 posts
  •   Outstanding BZPower Citizen

Posted Jul 28 2013 - 11:53 AM

Well. It's lovely to see you back; I thought you might never return. Let's see, I have four chapters to review here, so my review will a bit condensed. The kidnapping of Takanuva was pretty intense and dramatic. I liked it. Botar's resurrection is... interesting. I'm not sure what to make of it; resurrection in stories where it isn't common generally opens a huge can of worms, from the purely philosophical to the plotwise and practical. Is the afterlife he referred to the Red Star? How was he brought back? Does the Order resurrect people on a regular basis? Et cetera, et cetera. I love the concept of the info-pool, by the way. And it's pretty cool how you worked in the conversation from Brothers In Arms so seamlessly. I was several lines in before I thought "hey, haven't I read this before?" and then remembered it from... oh my, four years ago. Wow. Been a while. Anyway, I like how you kept the dialogue while including original descriptions of Mazeka's and Tobduk's reactions. Tobduk's speech about revenge in Chapter really flowed well with the character, by the way. Over the past MH stories I've noticed that your Tobduk and Greg's Tobduk have different speech styles, which is fine, but in this episode I can definitely see them converge. Great job, Bob! :D


  • 0

Posted Image


#123 Offline Yaldabaoth

Yaldabaoth
  • Members
  • Defender of Mata Nui

  • 2,181 posts
  •  

Posted Jul 28 2013 - 03:22 PM

Many thanks for the review! It matters not whether it's condensed or not, only that you took the effort to make one.

 

On Takanuva: Thanks again. It occurred to me while reading Destiny War that Tridax is a seriously dangerous creature. Overpowering and kidnapping dozens of Takanuvas from alternate universes is no small feat. However, poor Tridax only gets to threaten Vezon before going down like a sap before Tobduk. In the interest of restoring his pride, I elected to feature him in the prologue.

 

On Botar: I intended it as a minor thing, but I can understand why you might be confused. It was revealed that Botar and other slain MU characters were up on the Red Star, correct? But Botar was always characterized as such a determined and loyal character -- and he has almost unlimited powers of teleportation. Well, putting two and two together, I concluded that Botar, upon revival, would almost immediately teleport back to the MU to help the Order of Mata Nui. Thus, it's my headcanon that "Botar's replacement" is, in fact, Botar in the new body built for him by the Kestora. Since it takes so much explanation, I suppose it isn't really a minor thing, but ah well. :P

 

On the info-pool: Thanks! I myself was quite fond of the concept, and it seemed quite fitting for Helryx's chamber. Besides, seeing how quickly and efficiently she was able to organize the Destiny War, you've got to figure she had some supernatural communication abilities. :P

 

On dialogue: And thanks once more. I knew I couldn't just disregard Tobduk's dialogue in Brothers in Arms (after all, that conversation was his first appearance in canon), but I also knew that the conversation portrayed Tobduk a little differently from how I wanted to for the purposes of the story. Simply swapping the perspective worked well enough for my tastes, and evidently for yours. That's a theme that you're going to notice in the rest of The End of the Brotherhood and in the other fanfics I've written: I like to write not outside of canon, but rather around and between it. I like to go behind the scenes and explore what an official scene in the story looked like to a different character.

 

Thanks once more for the review! :) And you'd better follow the epic intensely, because I'm updating daily -- and the final two chapters are double-length, action-packed updates that will bid a final farewell to Tobduk and the Makuta Hunt series.

 

UPDATE: Makuta Hunt ended a good eight months ago, but Lhikevikk's final review, and my final response, were wiped in the latest forum dataclysm. Let's suffice it to say that I don't believe in keeping characters hanging around once they've served their purpose -- fulfilled their destiny, one could say -- and as such,

 

:t:  :m_o:  :b:  :m_d: :u: :k:   :i: :s:    :m_d:  :e: :a:  :m_d:


Edited by Angel Bob, Feb 15 2014 - 11:06 PM.

  • 0
 
New short story:
 
DESCENDANT, starring Kraata-Kal
 
Older stories:
 
AN EVEN EXCHANGE, starring the Makuta of Stelt
 
THE END OF THE BROTHERHOOD, starring Tobduk and Makuta Chirox




0 user(s) are browsing this forum

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users