Jump to content

The Origin Of Kirop- Review Topic


Toa Chuck

Recommended Posts

  • 9 months later...

Hello Chuck =) I have a charity review for your epic here today.I'm gonna start with the little nitpicks, the grammar or spelling errors that are an easy fix. I've condensed them here for you, since I decided that I hate quote blocks hating me.Points I want you to take away from the nitpicks are 1)Capitalize proper nouns, like Karda Nui, Mata Nui, etc. 2)When you begin a new paragraph, indent. Since it's not very easy to indent using BZP's text formatting, I like to put a space between paragraphs, and something like "***" between scene changes. [example] 3)Dialog punctuation, see below for details.

"I concur," she said.
"I concur." She spoke fiercely and then ran away.
"I concur," she said, running away.
Before running away, she said, "I concur."
Before running away, she spoke a final time. "I concur."
That's part of a review that I received a while back, and I often refer back to it, because I couldn't give the advice any better myself.Another big thing, literally and metaphorically, is the text size you used in your story. It's a bit superficial of me to comment on this, sure, but such a large font struck me as unnecessary. It doesn't really contribute to the story or serve for dramatic effect. In all honestly, it makes the story look as though you know it's too short and are trying to make it look longer. There's nothing wrong with the default font setting.Since you've only posted one chapter of your epic thus far, there's not much else I can say at this point. Hope to see you around the library some more.~Aderia Edited by Eponine

(disclaimer: none of this banner art is original, I just smooshed it together in gimp. Torchic, Matau)
ThosePeskyFirespitters.png.3dbdb65e6a28cbbc5957d81c09a685b6.png
Those pesky firespitters... 
Library | The Sculptors and the Smelters | The Ternion Review Topic 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...