Coconuts

[Voltex]

CoconutsThree Toa Walked into a BarChapter 1 – Coconut RobberyiBrow Comedy ProductionsLe-Koro: Lewa’s Hut...Lewa Mata rubbed his eyes as he wandered towards his fridge, his mind a complete blank about the events of the night before. Wrenching the fridge door open, he screamed when each and every shelf inside clattered to the floor.“What the heck are you doing?” Onua Mata groaned from above him. “Wait a minute... why am I on top of the fridge?”“I dunno.” Lewa mumbled. “Say, where did all my coconuts go?”“I can’t remember anything.” Onua muttered from above. “Well, not from last night.”“Neither can I.” Lewa replied. “But I’m a little worried about where my coconuts went.”“Seriously, this is frustrating! Why am I on top of your fridge with no memory of the night before?!”“I DON’T KNOW!” Lewa bellowed. “AND QUITE FRANKLY, I DO NOT CARE! ALL I WANT TO KNOW IS WHERE MY COCONUTS WENT!”Onua froze, staring at him for several moments in silence. The silence was broken when Pohatu Mata stepped out of the cupboard and sneezed.“Can you guys shut up?” the Toa of stone yawned. “Some of us are trying to sleep here.”“Uh... why are you in my cupboard?” Lewa questioned.“Huh?” Pohatu glanced behind him. “That’s why it felt so cramped! I was beginning to wonder....”“Can you remember anything?” Onua asked.“No.”“I SAID ENOUGH ABOUT THE MEMORY!” Lewa snapped. “Geez, Onua! This is important! I need to know where my coconuts went!Pohatu glanced at Onua questioningly; the Toa of earth just shrugged, rolling his eyes.“I’m questioning why I just woke up in your cupboard, actually.” Pohatu replied. “And why are you on top of the fridge, Onua?”“I woke up here.”“Where were you, Lewa?”“In bed.” The Toa of air responded. “Will you two help me?”“Help you what?” the others said in unison.“Find my coconuts, of course.” Lewa snorted. “Plus I am a little worried now about not remembering anything.”“Alright, just let me get ready.” Pohatu yawned again. “I think I have spaghetti sauce under my mask. I want to wash it out.”One Hour Later“Your mask has grey patches.” Onua pointed out.“I know.” Pohatu complained. “Some of the paint came off.”“Oh, shut up.” Lewa rolled his eyes. “We need to find those Coconuts.”The three Toa exited the hut; Onua immediately snatched a scarf out of his pocket and wrapped it around his eyes. Lewa and Pohatu both glanced at him.“What?!” he exclaimed.“You just tied a scarf over your face.” Lewa pointed out.“Yeah, so what? You would too if you were underground twenty-four seven.”The Toa of air just shrugged and they set off, several passersby commenting on the paint peeling off of Pohatu’s mask. After fifteen minutes, a shop owner by the name of Icantreallythinkofanamesothisishisname (pronounced “Joe”) called to the Toa.“Hey! Hey, you guys! Come here, cool dudes! I give you money last night! You owe me six dollars!”Lewa turned and lead the way into the shop, stopping in front of the furious Matoran.“Uh... what’s your name?” Pohatu asked.“My name is Icantreallythinkofanamesothisishisname, dimwit!” the Matoran cried angrily. “I give you money! You say you pay me back tomorrow! Tomorrow is here now!”“Technically, if we said that we would pay you back tomorrow, then we never will have to pay you.” Onua pointed out. “Tomorrow never comes.”“Tomorrow here now! You say you pay me back tomorrow yesterday, which mean tomorrow is today!”“Sorry, but no can do, Joe.” Lewa smiled. “Onua’s right.”“Figures.” Onua muttered, scowling. “The one time you agree with me is the one time you keep six dollars in your pocket.”“You Toa! Toa be good to Matoran!” Icantreallythinkofanamesothisishisname spat. “You give me six dollars now!”“No way, man!” Lewa retorted, pulling out his axe. “I’ll smite you!”“You say that yesterday! That why I give you six dollars! I never give you money! Never again!” Icantreallythinkofanamesothisishisname said angrily.Pohatu sighed, plucking the cash register off of the counter and opening it.“Hey Lewa, there’s like five hundred dollars in here!”“No way, I don’t steal.” Lewa replied, slicing the register in half. “I can’t control you, though.”“Pohatu smirked and dived onto the floor, snatching as many bills as he could.“You stealing! I call police!” Icantreallythinkofanamesothisishisname snarled.“No way, Joe!” Onua smiled. “We are the police.”“Indeed.” Lewa nodded. “Pohatu! I said no stealing!”“But-”“I SAID NO, SO STOP NOW AND PUT IT BACK!”Pohatu cowered and threw the money back on the ground. Lewa grabbed him by the neck and threw him out of the shop, followed by Onua.“Oh, by the way,” he began, turning back to Icantreallythinkofanamesothisishisname. “Do you have anything you can tell us about why we were here, and when?”“You no here, only they here!” Icantreallythinkofanamesothisishisname replied, plucking a couple bills off the ground. “They here at like three in morning wanting six dollars for coconuts! They keep saying brown one eat all the coconuts! Good grief, they annoying!”“Thanks.” Lewa nodded, pulling out six dollars and throwing it onto the counter. “There you go. Now if you’ll excuse me, we need to get our memories and my coconuts back.”To Be Continued... Maybe.Yes, I know that this isn't up to par with what I've been writing recently, because this was released on a different site back in June. However, I never wrote any other chapters, so if you guys want me to, they will be better than this one.-ibrow

[Lenore]

I think my brain just gave up on trying to figure out what happened and died. Interesting story, it reminds me of Alice in Wonderland with its oddness.

[Toa Sonis]

Coconuts? Painted Kanohi? Certainly an interesting comedy...

[fishers64]

Wow, this is old. It's interesting, but rather silly. Ah, well, might as well give it a review treatment...

“You stealing! I call police!” Icantreallythinkofanamesothisishisname snarled.“No way, Joe!” Onua smiled. “We are the police.”

That's the best line. However, given that your more recent works are exponentially more amazing, I would be content to see this slide under the rug again.