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Road Trip 2


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#1 Offline Jalina T.T.

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Posted Oct 13 2011 - 09:32 PM

[color=#0000cd;][font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"]And, with the arrival of the shiny new forums, we are BACK! I'll be re-posting chapters as often as I can, but I'm not going to do it all at once. (where's the fun in that?) Eventually, We'll get back to where we were, and continue... barring my dedication to other projects. [/color][/font][color=#0000cd;][font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"]And so, the return of Road Trip 2! (Man, my old chapters seem so immature now... How long have I been writing this?)[/color][/font]“I’m home!” Jalina shouted as she let the door slam behind her. Enjoying the freedom of summer vacation, she strolled into the living room. Then she froze, not believing what she saw. It so was unbelievable and shocking, all she could do was stare.The living room was clean.And it wasn’t just clean. It was sparkling, Gleaming, your-neat-freak-grandma-is-coming-to-visit, Spit and polish clean. Though thankfully without the spit. The furniture looked like new, the china dishes were all neatly stacked in their cupboard, and the floor shined as if newly polished. Jalina sighed and walked through the kitchen and quickly found the family room door, mysteriously closed. She took a deep breath and opened the door.Inside, she found what would pass for an ordinary scene, if an ordinary scene involved six partially crazy toa and six almost-crazy Piraka. Thok was engaged in a boxing match with Hewkii on the Wii, with Kongu and Reidak egging them on. Over in one corner, Avak and Nuparu were intensely whispering about something, presumably the latest “labor-saving device.” In another corner, Vezok and Hakann were raiding the Mini-fridge, arguing whether or not to eat the mysterious green thing in the back. Zaktan lay on the floor, moaning because Hewkii and Thok were staging their Wii match on top of him. Hahli and Jaller were curled up on the couch watching the Wii match. And Matoro was laid back on another couch, reading a book. No one took any notice of Jalina standing in the doorway.“Ahem!” Jalina cleared her throat, and all activity in the room stopped. Vezok whipped around, accidentally hitting Hakann in the head with a jar of olives.“Jalina! You're home! How were finals?” Vezok asked, dodging a can of peas thrown at him by Hakann. Jalina ignored the question and glared at the entire group.“Okay, what did you guys do now?”“What makes you think we did anything?” Nuparu asked.“The living room is clean.” Jalina replied, stepping into the room.“Aw man! I TOLD you we should have left some armor lying around or something!” Zaktan shouted from under Avak’s foot. “then she wouldn’t have known!’“it’s water under the bridge, guys. let it go” Matoro said, closing his book and sitting up on the couch. “so, Jalina, you do realize that it’s summer, and, except for one or two minor exceptions,” Matoro continued, glaring at the others “we’ve been pretty good. so what do you say to a road trip again this year?”“I don’t know...” Jalina replied. “remember the last time we took a road trip?”“No.” Hewkii responded“You wouldn’t.” Jaller muttered. “you were obsessed with apples most of the time.”“APPLES?!?! WHERE!?!?!!” Hewkii shouted, then cowered under Zaktan in fear. “HIDE ME!”“My point exactly.” Jaller continued. “and I don’t feel like recapping the entire trip.”“You don’t need to.” Jalina replied. “readers can just use this handy [Hyperlink] to read the first comedy.”“So we’re breaking the fourth wall now?” Nuparu asked.“Why not? You guys have broken everything else.” Jalina said.

 

 

 

"...why isn't there actually a hyperlink to the old comedy?"

 

"The archives are getting shut down. I plan on reposting the original Road Trip on the new forms eventually."“Getting back to the subject on hand...” Hahli said. “so can we go on a road trip this year?”Jalina exhaled. “ I suppose.” The rest of the room erupted in cheers.“But where are we going to go this year?” Kongu asked stepping on zaktan’s hand by accident, causing a pileup on the floor, consisting of three piraka and two toa.Jalina sighed again. “Good point. Where should we go this year? New York?” nobody moved.“Washington D.C?” Still no reply.“Legoland?” Still nobody moved. Jalina threw up her hands in frustration. “guys, we are NOT going to Disneyland. Period.”“Why not? Avak asked.“Because, among other things, the last thing I need is Reidak singing ‘it’s a small world’ ALL THE WAY HOME.” Jalina replied, flopping down on the couch next to matoro. “so where else could we go this year?”“Ooh! Ooh! I know!” Thok raised his hand excitedly. Jalina looked everywhere but Thok, everyone was thinking hard about where to go this year but nobody else could think of a good place to go for a summer road trip. Finally, Jalina sighed yet again. And looked at Thok. “okay, Thok, where do you think we should go?”“First off, you need to sigh less.”“Whatever Thok. you were saying...?”“ Second, I think we should go to...”End Chapter 1CLIFFHANGER!750 words.


Edited by Jalina T.T., Aug 01 2013 - 01:39 PM.

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#2 Offline -JL-

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Posted Oct 13 2011 - 10:37 PM

All around the world! Thats perfect! :D Thats my guess. Come to China, Hong Kong and meet me! :D
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#3 Offline Neelh

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Posted Oct 14 2011 - 10:19 AM

Dude, kung-fu punch them. :P
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Taipu still won't love me.

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taipu

i love you

love me back

my darling taipu


#4 Offline Toa Kapurkar--Rail Blazer

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Posted Oct 16 2011 - 11:37 AM

But we DID go to Disneyland! Oh, sorry. Probably shouldn't have said that. Anyhow, I'm willing to bet a few new changes will be made to the chapters. I'm seeing it everywhere else!
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#5 Offline Jalina T.T.

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Posted Oct 16 2011 - 03:24 PM

There will be a few changes made; these first few were written a while back, and my writing style and ability has changed since then. The overall plot probably won't change that much, but I'll be adding more details and jokes as we go along. And speaking of, a new chapter! Road Trip 2Chapter 2 “...Well?” Avak asked. Thok had been standing in the same position for five minutes without moving, or even giving his suggestion on where they should go for summer vacation. No one else had moved, not sure what to do or what to say. Suddenly, Thok relaxed, confusion apparent on his face. “Duhh...I forgot.” Jaller groaned. “Fantastic. There goes five minutes we could have used to plan our trip. We still don’t even know where we’re going! Why didn’t any of you ask him before? “I thought he was going for the dramatic emphasis, so I didn’t interrupt him.” Reidak said. “You don’t think Reidak, remember?” Hakann said. “I do to think!” Reidak shot back. “But we still don’t know where we’re going! It’s all your fault!” at once, arguments broke out as disagreements over where to go, whose fault it was, what the meaning of life was, and just what the green thing in the back of the fridge was. “Guys!” Jalina shouted. The room fell silent. “Since you can’t make up your minds, we’ll just take a coast-to-coast trip. How does that sound?” she asked, getting up from the couch. Sounds of approval flowed throughout the room. “Great. Now go pack. I’m going to go online and search for any carnivals, fairs, or festivals that would be fun to go see.” Jalina said as she left the room. The group was silent for a moment, then there was a stampede as everyone rushed to their separate rooms to pack, leaving a paused boxing match, a broken can of peas, and Zaktan, still squished onto the floor. “A little help?” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~“So Jalina, just what route are we taking on this trip?” Hahli asked as she pulled her suitcase out of the closet. Jalina was seated at her desk, rapidly searching the internet. “Well, I’m thinking we’re going to start in Portland, Oregon, then go up through Washington, then travel east to New York, head south to Georgia, then go back through to California and then go home. We'll probably be stopping at some beaches, lakes, carnivals, and other fun stuff.” Jalina said, typing with one hand and stacking a toppling pile of papers with the other. “I’m trying to find events and attractions that aren’t very expensive.” “Expensive to visit?” Hahli asked, setting her suitcase on the bed. “No, expensive to replace or fix. You know the boys.” Jalina said, turning to face Hahli. “Half of my budget for this trip is figured to what is probably going to be broken; doors, windows, buildings...” “OK, okay, I get the idea.” Hahli replied. She then wandered over to the closet and began chucking items into the now-open suitcase. Jalina turned back to her computer and continued her search. “Hey, there’s some sort of big sale going on in Washington. ‘largest sale of Apple products in the history of Washington.' Maybe I can finally get that stop-motion program I’ve been meaning to get for my imac.” Jalina said a couple of minutes later. “Cool. I need to get a new casing for my Ipod.” Hahli said as she sent a swimsuit, some goggles, flip-flops, and a toaster sailing across the room. “What happened to it?” Jalina asked, logging off and pulling her own suitcase from under the bed. “I don’t know, but I’m willing to bet Nuparu had something to do with it.” Hahli said, stacking books on the shelf as the closet slowly cleared out. “I caught him yesterday trying to take apart Jaller’s alarm clock for a nuclear fission machine, or something.” “Why am I not surprised?” Jalina asked, unzipping her suitcase and turning to her dresser. “Better yet, why would you be surprised?” Hahli countered. “True... Hahli?” “Yeah?” “Why are you packing the kitchen sink?” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “All right, is everybody packed and ready to go?” Jalina asked later that evening. The living room was packed with suitcases, the pile reaching all the way to the 12-foot high ceiling. Zaktan had been peeled off the floor and was leaned against the wall, pulling apart his squished-together protodites and sending them buzzing in Hewkii and Thok’s ears. The other toa and piraka were scattered throughout the room, shouting that they were ready to go, bumping into each other as they turned corners in a last-minute scramble. “Ok, just let me make sure that you packed everything that you need.” Jalina said, and proceeded to open the first suitcase. A loud sigh was promptly heard. “Hakann, you are NOT bringing your 50” plasma TV screen with us. And you’re also not bringing the Wii, Xbox 360, and the Playstation 3 either.” Jalina handed the entire suitcase over to Hakann, who complained as he took the rejected items back to the family room as Jalina opened the next suitcase. “Matoro, do you have to bring your entire library with us? Just pick out a few, I’m sure we’ll be stopping at a bookstore or two along the way.” Jalina said, seeing a huge stack of books pop out of a white case. Another suitcase opened. “And no, Vezok, we are not bringing the fridge. Go put it back.” And on it went, until the pile of luggage had been downzised from nearly two stories tall to 13 reasonably sized suitcases. Jalina, happy with the result, turned to look at the group, disheveled from putting half the contents of the house back where they belonged. “Can we go now?” Kongu asked, head drooping. “No, we can’t go now.” Jalina said, sitting on the couch. “WHY NOT?” everyone else asked, shocked and disappointed. “I don’t know if you guys have noticed, but it’s 10:00 at night. We really can’t get a good start until tomorrow morning.” Jalina replied. “Ooohhhh.” and with that, the group tiredly shambled off to their respective rooms to get some sleep before starting the trip. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Deep in the shadows of the bowels of wherever-the-bowels were, a voice, hardly louder than the quietest whisper, spoke. “They are coming.”

Edited by Jalina T.T., Oct 16 2011 - 03:28 PM.

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#6 Offline Jalina T.T.

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Posted Oct 31 2011 - 12:11 AM

Sorry about the delay. Here's another new chapter. (And before anyone starts squawking, double-posting is allowed for authors putting up new chapters.) BIONICLE ROAD TRIP 2 Part 3 Daylight streamed lazily through the open window upon a room filled with bunk beds, strewn armor, and several weapons. Sleeping forms filled the bunks, dreaming of battles, victories and chocolate. It was the perfect summers day for sleeping in and doing nothing. It was too good to last. “GOOD MORNING EVERYONE! TIME TO GET UUPPPPP!!!!” Jaller pulled his head up, gazed blearily at the clock, and groaned. “It’s five in the morning. Can’t I sleep in for another five minutes?” “Sorry, Jaller.” Jalina said, yanking him out of bed, turning him to face the door. “But you know this house. It takes forever just to get out the front door. NOW GET!” with that, she gave him a firm shove and turned to begin hauling Kongu off of the top bunk. Toa and piraka moaned and began attempts to disentangle themselves from their sheets. On the far side of the room, Nuparu flopped out of bed and hit the floor. luckily, he was on the bottom bunk. unluckily, Hewkii fell off the top bunk and right onto him. “OW!” “Whazaht?” “HEWKII! GET OFF!” “OW!” *** “Alright, Is everyone ready to go?” Jalina asked. Everyone was gathered in the kitchen, in various stages of consciousness. Matoro was holding a steaming coffee mug, while Zaktan was downing doughnuts and Candy at an incredible rate. Hahli dozed on Jaller’s shoulder, and Reidak was drooling on the floor, gazing off into space. “I think so.” Kongu said, picking up an apple from the counter. Hewkii promptly scooted away. “Do you guys have everything packed?” Jalina asked, glancing into the living room. “I don’t want to forget anything.” “Yeah, we were packed three months ago. Seriously, can’t you write chapters a little faster?”“Hey, be happy I remembered this comedy at all!” Jalina retorted, vanishing into the next room. “Can we just get on the road? I actually want to get somewhere in this chapter.” Matoro muttered, taking a sip of coffee. “All right, all right, we’re going..” Jalina said poking her head back into the kitchen. “Hey wait a minute, where’s Hakann?” “He’s outside warming up the car.” “oh dear...” *** “Alright, C’mon boy! Up and ‘Attem!” Hakann shouted into the crisp morning air. He shouted some more. He banged some pots and pans with a spoon. And the car wouldn’t stir. “Come ON, Fennrahk! We need to get going!” Hakann complained. Fennrahk groaned and rolled over, sticking his tongue out and panting. “C’mon! I know you’re tired, but you’ll feel more awake when you hit the road!” Hakann said, patting Fennrahk on the head. Fennrahk groaned again, but he didn’t move. “Hey Hakann! What’s taking so long?” Vezok shouted, sticking his head out the window. He regretted doing that when he realized he forgot to open the window first. “OWOWOWOWOW!!!!!” “Oh, Chill, Vezok. It’s just a bit of glass.” Jalina said, marching down the front steps. “Hakann, why Isn’t Fennrahk up ready to go?” “He just won’t get up! I think he’s sick or something.” “Hey, Boy.” Jalina walked over to Fennrahk, and began to stroke him gently, petting him and feeling his forehead.. “Hakann, you didn’t try to warm him up literally, did you?” Jalina asked. “Do you really think I’m that crazy?” Hakann replied indignantly. “Yes.” Jalina went back to examining Fennrahk. “Oh Dear. Fennrahk’s sick. I think he’s got the mumps.” “Does this mean we’re not going on our vacation?” Vezok asked, his head still stuck in the kitchen window. The masks and faces of the others were visible behind him, trying to see out. “No, the trip’s not canceled. I’ll just have to find a pet-sitter for Fennrahk, and rent a vehicle for the trip.” *** “WOAH! a Skopio! Jalina, you are the best!” Nuparu said in awe later that day. “Don’t give me so much credit. It’s the only vehicle that will hold all of us that was available on short notice. Now everyone get on before we lose any more time.” Jalina said, shoving everyone on board the Skopio. Back in the driveway, Fennrahk was curled up in his bed, a giant water bottle on sitting on his head and a thermometer sticking out of his mouth. sitting on a stool next to the bed was the Pet-sitter, Vezon, who was flipping through a magazine. “I just hope Vezon knows what he’s doing. I don’t trust him...” Hahli said, looking concerned. “Don’t worry. He’s the best person to care for a Fennrahk spider. I trust him.” Jalina said, carefully reading the driver’s manual for the Skopio. “I meant with the thermometer. He might break it and kill himself with the mercury or something.” “Ah, he’ll be fine.” Jalina said, stowing the drivers manual away. “Now, who’s ready for the road trip of a lifetime?” “ME!” *** “Are we there yet?” “No, Kongu, We’re not there yet.. We just left Oregon, for crying out loud. We won’t be at the festival. for at least an hour.” Jalina said, steering the Skopio into a faster lane. “Well, don’t look at us! It took forever to get you and Matoro out of the City of Books. Then we ran into that one science museum...” Kongu replied, rolling his eyes. “Well, on the plus side, we didn’t do that much damage.” Nuparu said, playing with a set of gears on his lap. “You blew up the submarine!” Jaller shouted, turning around in the front seat to face Nuparu. “Well, they shouldn’t have left those active torpedoes in.” Nuparu said defensively. “They should have replaced them with duds or something. I mean, volatile torpedoes in the middle of a huge city... What are they thinking?” “They weren’t thinking that they would have to worry about you.” Jaller pointed out. “Will you all please just be QUIET!!” Jalina shouted. The entire vehicle was silent. “Thank you. We’ll be at Wenatchee in a little bit. We’ll stop there so that everyone can stretch their legs and take a break. There’s also a nice apple festival there, so I want to pick up a couple of things for my computer. You are all welcome to tag along with me. Happy?” “Yes.” “Good.” ... “Are we there yet?” “KONGU!” *** “Okay. We made it to the festival.” Jalina said, pushing her way through the crowds. All of the Toa and Piraka followed close behind behind her. Strangely, nobody paid them a second glance. “I can’t wait to see what this is all about” Hewkii said, racing around the corner. Then the rest of the group rounded the corner. And froze. “Um, Jalina?” “...Yeah?” “Just what kind of Apple festival was advertised on the site?” “... Uh oh” TO BE CONTINUED! 713 1,122 words
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#7 Offline -JL-

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Posted Nov 01 2011 - 09:38 AM

Apple festival... you mean their selling apples? Or their selling apple products? Soo... Fennrahk is some kind of living car?
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#8 Offline Jalina T.T.

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Posted Nov 01 2011 - 07:36 PM

You'll just have to wait for the next chapter to find out just what kind of apple products are being sold. :evilgrin: In Bionicle canon, Fennrahk is the giant spider creature (made monstrous by the mask of life) that Vezon rides, and uses to protect said mask of life. In this comedy, He's the family pet/transportation. In the First Road Trip, he somehow managed to stay with the group the entire trip. This time, He's sick and has to stay home. (But this comedy isn't over yet...) Hmm... The First Road Trip... Sounds like another comedy in the works!

Edited by Jalina T.T., Nov 01 2011 - 07:37 PM.

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#9 Offline Jalina T.T.

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Posted Dec 14 2011 - 11:29 PM

Bleh. I can't believe that I took such a long break from BZP and life in general. I hate being unorganized. But Now I'm back and (without a word about 20 or 30-day post limits) I'm back with a new chapter for you all.Road Trip 2!“Okay, Jalina, Just what kind of Apple festival was advertised on the site?“It was an honest mistake! The site said that there would be the best apple and Macintosh products around, so I assumed they were talking about the computer company.”“WHAT KIND OF TOWN HAS A COMPUTER FESTIVAL!?!?!?!?” Avak yelled. The town square was overflowing with shoppers and tourists, and yet no one seemed to notice six toa, six piraka, and an exasperated teenager in a heated argument. “I’d think that you, of all people, Jalina, would know better.” Avak said, his hand over his glowing eyes. The square was in the middle of your average town festival, with bright cheery colors, crisp autumn air, smiling faces, and music floating through the air. The only problem was that the festival was about...“A-A-A-ppleess...” Hewkii Stuttered, hiding behind Nuparu.“Look, I’m sorry!” Jalina said. “But we really don’t have any choice right now but to deal with it.”Matoro sighed and looked back. “But what about Hewkii? you know he’s deathly afraid of apples. I think he might even be allergic to them.” Hewkii cowered even lower behind Nuparu, trembling like a leaf. “Well, we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.” Jalina said. “Right, now, He’ll just have to suffer. Once we’re through the crowds, we can get back to the parking lot and leave. I know that tonight’s stop is close enough that we can still get there before nightfall.”“That sounds like a fantastic idea. Let’s get out of here.” Jaller said. And with that, the fair-sized group began working their way through the crowds of people enjoying the apple festival. As we have stated, the town square was packed full of people, which was not entirely true. For at the center of the square was a giant model of a bright, red, juicy apple, and of course the easiest way out of the square passed right next to this giant. Hewkii, still terrified but no longer able to hide behind Nuparu, stood straight and closed his eyes, trembling the entire time.“Okay, just hold on to Nuparu, and don’t open your eyes, and everything will be alright.” Hewkii told himself over and over.. Just as he passed under the shadow of the giant apple, everyone heard a loud CCCRREEAAAAKKKK. The crowd turned and gasped in unison.“Oh no, Oh no, oh PLEASE NO!” Hewkii whimpered, opening his eyes cautiously and looking in front of him. Then he turned to see the giant apple beginning to tilt dangerously toward him. With a high-pitched scream that would have made the Bee Gees proud, Hewkii turned back and ran like a madman, tearing through the crowds in a desperate attempt to escape the giant monstrosity that was falling behind him. The giant apple fell over with a metallic CRASH and began to gently roll. and it kept on rolling, following the natural slope of the streets. Which, of course, was exactly the same way Hewkii was running.“AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!” Hewkii, who had looked back to see if he was safe, saw the giant apple rolling after him, and tore down the hill, the giant apple rumbling along behind him. Crowds parted as clean as a knife through butter as the colossus fruit tumbled down the street. And all poor Hewkii could do was keep running. Without a word, but with several gasps and exclamations, the others tore after him, following the giant apple down the hill. Jalina stayed at the top of the slope, however, wondering just what had made the apple fall over. Her queries were answered a second later by a loud, almost screaming, voice. “BERIX! I TOLD YOU NOT TO TOUCH ANYTHING!” Jalina turned and saw a purple and green toa shouting at a smaller, cowering blue figure. Jalina rolled her eyes and walked over to the arguing duo. “But I didn’t touch it!” Berix whined in an attempt at innocence. the toa gave him a steely glare that would have chilled hot chocolate. “Okay, maybe I did, but I didn’t do anything! I just barely touched that stupid apple! Barely! So lightly, I could barely even tell that I touched it!“Gee, who could have done it then?” Jalina said, standing right behind Berix. The blue Agori whipped around so fast that he fell over and landed on his bum. “Some ingenious evil monstrosity must have rigged the apple to fall over at JUST THE RIGHT MOMENT, at the very second that you touched the apple, and you can’t really be blamed for it at all.” “Oh, hey Jalina. fancy seeing you here.” The toa said. grabbing Berix by the scruff of his neck and lifting him to his feet. “Hey, Numi. it’s been a while, hasn’t it?” Jalina said, with an amused smirk. “How are things going in Canada?”“Oh, going good. Well, as good as it can get with this little menace “fixing” the toaster, and everything else, every three days.” Numi said, hefting Berix off of his feet. “Hey, how’s Hewkii doing? I heard that he got cured of that crazy old apple addiction of his. Is that true?”“Well, it’s more like he’s now deathly afraid of apples, but yeah, he’s cured.” Jalina said. Then she slapped her forehead. “Speaking of which, I need to go. I’m afraid Berix’s ‘accident’ sent the giant apple rolling after Hewkii, and should probably make sure that he’s okay.”“I’ll come with you. I need to find Axonn anyway.” Numi said, grabbing Berix, who had left himself down and had tried to sneak off, and dragging him after her.“OW! Hey, I can walk, you know!”***“Hewkii? are you alright?” Hahli called, trying to see around the giant apple, but the metal fruit had squashed itself against a brick wall, hiding any hint of Hewkii from view. “Do you think he’s all right?” Kongu asked nervously.“Physically? He’ll be fine. Toa of stone are built like rocks. But mentally? who knows...” Reidak said. “Guys! Where’s Hewkii?” Jalina asked frantically, finally catching up with the group. “As near as we can tell, somewhere behind the apple.” Vezok said, gesturing to the large fruit balanced against the wall. “Hmm. I think I have a solution.” Numi said. She turned around and looked all the way back up the cobblestone hill. “ Hey Axonn! Get down here!”“Who’s the toa?” Zaktan asked Jaller in a whisper.“Oh, that’s my old friend, Numi. She lives up in Canada, and we’ve had a couple of adventures together.” Jalina replied having heard Zaktan’s quiet question. Farther up the hill, a large red and silver giant began lumbering down, sending some loose cobblestone bricks rattling. “We used be neighbors a while ago, but she had to move, for some reason or another.”“I’ve told you time and time again, I wanted adventure.” Numi said, watching the giant advance. “And I heard about how Canada’s really awesome.” by that time, Axonn had reached the bottom of the hill. “Hey Axonn, think you can move this? Berix accidentally touched it.”“Again? Why am I not surprised?” Axonn said in a rumbling voice. He turned, and, using his glinting axe, sliced the giant apple cleanly in half.“Well, what do ‘ya know?” Jalina said peering between the two fallen slices. Behind where the apple had been was a low, solid stone wall. Hewkii’s trembling mask slowly rose above it, fearful.“Is it gone?” He asked in the quietest of whispers. From what the other toa could tell, Hewkii had used his power over stone just in time, putting a rock wall between him and the runaway fruit. “Yes, it’s gone.” Jalina said. Hewkii stumbled over the wall, stood erect, walked over, and then collapsed at her feet. “Let’s go, guys. I don’t think Hewkii wants to be here any longer than he has to.” She said with a smile. Jaller and Kongu walked over and helped the shaken toa to his feet. Together, they began to walk out to the parking lot, where Skopio patiently waited.“Hey hey hey, where are you going?” Numi asked Jalina curiously. “Oh, we’re taking a coast to coast road trip for the summer.” Jalina said.“Well, we’re coming too.” Numi replied. “I want more adventure then what I’ve been finding in Canada, and, knowing you, adventure-and trouble-are never very far behind.”***“Sooooooo...they have found some more companions......” The voice hissed, echoing around the pitch-black room. “But it will take more than that to stop me..... My plan shall come through to the end... and the world will fall....”1,443 words.ANNOUNCEMENT: Are any of my CCC critics reading this? Anyone interested in the CCC? I want to know if any of you are still interested in working for the CCC again. Things are in flux right now, so it's a little unsteady, but I also have christmas break to work on stuff. If you are interested in the CCC, or are a returning member, please let me know soon. (Except you. I already know that you want to come back. :) )
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#10 Offline Toa Numi Tanoni

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Posted Jan 05 2012 - 03:58 PM

Road Trip is back! And so am I!
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I AM AN ELECTRICITY TOA! STOP PESTERING ME!

#11 Offline Jalina T.T.

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Posted Jul 24 2012 - 06:35 PM

Okay, so.... I took an extended break from BZP. While the forums were gone, I began to get a life and start doing other things (Like schoolwork) The forums were offline for so long last year, that I was used to not getting on BZP, and when they came back, that habit just continued. Eventually, I dropped off of the map altogether. However, I've begun to revive interest in BZP again (Started, of all things, by a college class I'm currently taking) and after a few days I suddenly felt the urge to write again.I had forgotten how much I loved it.So here's another (Much longer) chapter of Road Trip 2. The comedy itself may not entirely revive, but I enjoyed typing out a story again, and now I feel the drive to start on other things that have been cluttering up my mind recently.Here we go:BIONICLE Road Trip 2!Chapter 5“Are we there yet?”“No, Kongu. We Just got out of Idaho.” Hewkii muttered as Skopio roared along on the freeway. Numi, Axonn and Berix, who had joined the group at a apple festival in Washington, rode their speeder bike behind them. Or, more appropriately, Numi and Axonn rode the bike while Berix held on to the end for dear life. “Hey, Jalina!” Numi called from the bike, shouting against the wind. Jalina handed the controls to Jaller and turned around. “Hey what?”“Where are we stopping today?” Numi asked.“No, We’re not shopping today!” Jalina called back, confused.“No, STOPing.” Numi yelled.“Stop? All right.” Jalina said. She grabbed the controls from Jaller and steered Skopio to the nearest exit. Several confusing minutes later, They stopped at an old, abandoned ghost town at the end of a dirt road. Jalina hopped down and walked over to Numi.“Okay, we stopped. Now, what did you want to tell me?” Jalina asked. Numi slapped her forehead. “I was asking where we were gonna stop today, not if you wanted to stop so I could ask you something..” She said. Jalina groaned, understanding. “Well, this ghost town wasn’t on my list. I’ll get Skopio started back up.” Jalina said. She turned around and jumped back on Skopio. Unfortunately, Skopio was worn out from the 70 mph speeds he had been traveling all her attempts to get him moving again failed. Finally, Skopio rolled over onto its side, depositing its load of six toa and six piraka on the dusty ground. Jalina barely managed to hang onto his neck. She gingerly reached over and felt his forehead. “Whoops. I think I accidentally overheated our Skopio. We’re going to be stuck here until he cools down again.” Jalina said, clambering down.“Can’t we call AAA or something?” vezok asked. “Do you know of a AAA that treats animal transports?” Matoro retorted. “Face it, we’re stuck here for a while.”“Berix and I can go try to find a gas station or something. Axonn said, swinging Berix into the backseat. “We’ll be back in a little bit.” And with that, they roared off back to the freeway. Numi looked confused.“Exactly how is going to a gas station going to help us out?” Numi asked. “What are they going to do, get a tow truck that’ll haul Skopio?”“I have no idea.” Jalina replied.The group watched them leave, then looked at the ghost town. The wind whistled, and a tumbleweed rolled by. It rolled into one of the stores, then rolled back out with a mouse tangled up in its brambles. It rolled past a sign which was too faded to read. The sky overhead had turned cloudy, and the air turned humid, as if there were a looming thunderstorm.“Hey, since we’re here, why don’t we explore this town a little?” Hakann asked. The entire group looked at him. “What? It’s not like we have anything else to do.”“Oh yes, because wandering into an abandoned ghost town in the middle of a thunderstorm with no way to escape or call for help sounds like such a smart thing to do.” Nuparu replied sarcastically. “Honestly, Hakann, I thought Reidak was the dumbest of the piraka, not you.”“Hey! I resemble that remark!” Reidak retorted.“Nuparu’s right.” Hahli said. “It might seem innocent at first, but something about that place doesn’t seem right.”“Let’s ask Zaktan, He’s good at reading these kinds of situations,” Matoro said. “What do you think, Zaktan?”“...Zaktan?”“He was right behind me.” Jalina said. The group began to turn around and look, but the green piraka was nowhere to be seen.“Now THAT’S eerie.” Jaller commented.“It’s like some evil, hidden, destructive force came out of nowhere and swallowed him up, taking him.” Matoro said. “maybe it’s out for all of us... Lurking...watching...wanting revenge...”“Please don’t say that.” Jalina said.“Why not?” Matoro asked. “Because then it will come true and We’ll have to deal with it for the rest of the comedy.” Jalina replied. “Back to the subject at hand...” Avak said. “Where do you think he really would have gone?”“Well, which way’s the wind blowing?” Hewkii asked. Everyone looked at him. “What?” Hewkii said. You know what he’s like. More than likely a strong gust blew by when he was distracted and carried him off.”“If that’s true, then He’ll be downwind.” Kongu said. “And downwind is...” He turned and pointed “Thataway.” Everyone turned and looked in that direction, which was...“...Directly down the main street of the creepy ghost town.” Jalina said. “Fantastic. All right, who wants to go help find him?” She turned and asked. Everyone else immediately took a quick (and very large) step backwards.“Everyone who took a step back just volunteered. Now let’s go.” Jalina said, turning and beginning to walk down the main road. Reluctantly, the group began to follow him, all except for Thok, who remained behind.“There’s no way I’m going in there.” Thok said.“Okay. Then you can stay here by yourself and watch Skopio until we get back.” Jaller said, walking away. Thok stood their for a minute and watched the group walk into town, then looked at Skopio, who was now snoring. He fidgeted. Then he took off after the group, shouting “Wait for me!”***The ghost town seemed to stretch in front of them for miles. Above them, the gathering storm seemed to grow worse as thunder rumbled. Jalina looked up, concerned.“If we don’t find Zaktan before that storm hits, we’ll have to go into the buildings until it passes. I don’t need anyone hit with any more lightning.” she said. She looked ahead of them. “Now, it’s possible that Zaktan managed to steer himself into one of the side streets to recover, so we’ll need to split up in order to check them all.”“Seriously? Splitting up in the creepy ghost town?” Hakann said. “NOW who’s the stupid one?”Jalina turned to look at Hakann with a serious face. “We don’t have a choice, Hakann. Zaktan may need our help.” She looked at the rest of the group. “Split up as you like and start looking, and be sure not to miss any alleys. And if I hear a single toa or piraka yell ‘Zoinks!’ I WILL track you down and slap you. Got it?” A chorus of ‘yes’ and ‘got it’ sounded from the group. “Alright then.” Jalina said. “Matoro, Numi, you’re with me. Everyone else, meet in front of the sheriff’s office in fifteen minutes.”The group split up, small trios and duos wandering down the side streets shouting Zaktan’s name. In one alley, Reidak and Vezok shouted loudly, but all they heard were echoes of their own cries. In another, Hakann and Jaller inspected the back of a restaurant.“Maybe he hid in a trash can or something?” Hakann mused, looking at an old barrel. “Come on, what would Zaktan be doing with a trash can?” Jaller asked. “Let’s keep looking.As time went on, groups began to bump into each other as they checked all the alleys in the town. Jalina, Matoro and Numi bumped into Hahli, Avak and Nuparu.“Why are there so many alleys and side streets in this town?” Hahli asked, leaning against a wall.“Indeed. It seems to go on forever.” Matoro said, looking around. “Wait...” Numi said. “Wasn’t Kongu with you guys when we split up?”“He is with us! ...Isn’t he?” Nuparu said, looking around. But the toa of air was gone, just as Zaktan was. “This is getting really creepy...” Avak said. “Let’s just cut our loses and...”“No Way!” Nuparu exclaimed. “They’re our friends, and we won’t abandon them. He probably just got lost around a corner or something, that’s all.” He tried to assure himself. The two groups split up again and continued looking, but the ominousness of the town began to weigh on their minds. And one by one, more members of the group seemed to disappear in the labyrinth that the town had seemed to become.“Any sign of either of them?” Jalina asked Matoro a few minutes later. The old, creaking buildings seemed to loom above them, many stories tall.“Not a footprint.” Matoro replied. “What about you, Numi?” He asked, turning. Numi was gone.“This is really bad.” Jalina said. Understatement of the year, Matoro thought.“Let’s get back to the center of town.” Matoro said. Before Jalina could reply, He took off, rounding the corners with amazing speed. Numerous twists and turns later, he found himself standing in the center of the main street ghost town. “We made it, Jalina.” Matoro said, turning around. Jalina was nowhere to be seen. “That’s not good.” Matoro said to himself. He slowly turned, taking in his surroundings. The wind whistled, sending dust flying in small eddies. Above him, the storm broke, rain pouring down and thunder shaking the ground. Matoro turned and froze as he saw a tall figure standing further down the street, his black cloak waving in the strong wind.“Your friends have all been captured.” The figure said, with a deep voice. “Surrender, or face the consequences.”“I’ll take my chances, if you don’t mind.” Matoro said, pulling out his sword and setting it alight. With a quick swipe, the glowing blade created a large field of ice between Matoro and his aggressor, preventing the mysterious figure from attacking. The rain above temporarily turned to sleet and pounded on their heads. “Foolish toa. Do you think that can stop me?” the figure said. He began hurling bolts of black energy at Matoro, who evaded them all with ease. However, his maneuvers placed him underneath a large, heavy sign that creaked in the wind and threatened to topple.“And now, prepare to meet your end.” The dark figure said, flinging a final bolt of dark energy. However, the blast was not aimed at Matoro but at the sign above him. The beam holding the sign splintered and collapsed, sending the sign hurtling toward the ground. Matoro looked up to see the sign falling straight for him. A second later, he felt something slam into him, sending him to the ground. On the ground, Matoro shook his head, the lifted it slightly. “Wha...?”“Matoro, don’t run so fast next time.” Jalina panted, pulling herself off of him. “My legs aren’t near as long as yours.” The sign lay in pieces just beyond the tips of Jalina’s brown shoes. “Although it’s a good thing I ran into you. That sign would have knocked you out cold.” Both toa and human stood, and faced the dark figure. By then, all the ice had melted in the rain and humidity, leaving a copious layer of mud on the ground.“HEY!” Numi shouted, skidding out of an alley behind them. “There you are! I lost you two a while back.” She stopped short next to Jalina, nearly falling over her own feet. “So who’s tall, dark, and creepy over there?”“Someone who is about to get soundly trounced.” Matoro said, picking up his blade, while Jalina pulled out a slim rapier from nowhere. Both then looked expectingly at Numi. “What? I don’t have a weapon!” Numi stammered. “She didn’t give me one.” She said, gesturing to Jalina. “What? You didn’t put it on your GS form!” Jalina replied, shocked. “But that can wait until we get rid of...” Jalina turned and saw that the dark figure had disappeared while they were arguing. “...him?” There weren’t even footprints to mark his passage. Around them, the town suddenly seemed to shrink, entire portions disappearing entirely.“I bet he made the town seem bigger so that it was easier to split us up and confuse us.” Jalina said. Sure enough the town returned to its normal size, and their friends began to appear around corners, or even father out into the desert than the town really went.“But where did he go? And who was he?” Numi asked. “Trouble.” Was all Matoro said. ***After several minutes, the entire group (Minus Zaktan) was reunited. They then retreated into the general store until the storm passed. They sat for a while and watched the lightning in the distance.“So, can we leave now? This ghost town is really freaking me out.” Hahli asked. “I agree. Skopio should be cooled down by now because of the storm. We can meet Axonn and Berix by the freeway exit.” Jalina said. After returning to Skopio outside of town, (Skopio himself having crawled under a tree to escape the storm) They found that he had indeed cooled down enough to resume travel.“You know,” Kongu said, as they drove away. “This chapter wasn’t very funny at all.”“I had to advance the plot. We’ll try to be more funny next chapter.” ***“Soo....” The voice hissed again. “You managed to not only reveal yourself...but blatantly lie about having captured the toa.... You are a failure.” The minion trembled in the center of the room, unsure of where the voice was coming from. “but..but...I learned that they have gained some companions...and that they are not as strong as they appear...it will be easier to defeat them next time...”“Who said there was a next time? The voice hissed. There was a flash, and the minion was gone as he was swallowed up by a hole in the floor. “Soooonn...” The voice whispered. “I will have my victory.... And they will all fall...forever.”Aprox. 2,265 words.

Edited by Jalina T.T., Jul 24 2012 - 11:15 PM.

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#12 Offline Jalina T.T.

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Posted Oct 30 2012 - 02:17 PM

Road Trip 2!Part 6“Hey Jalina, We’re going to have a funny chapter this time, right?” Nuparu asked as Skopio sped along the highway.“I’ll try.” Was all Jalina said, keeping an eye on the road. In the backseat, Avak and Hewkii were leading a winner-take-all rock paper scissors tournament. Kongu, thanks to his mask of telepathy, was winning easily. Zaktan (Who, incidentally, had been at the gas station Berix and Axonn went to the day before when he got blown off of skopio.) was curled up with a book, trying to stay out of the wind. Behind them, Numi and Axonn rode on their Star Wars-style speeder. Berix found himself duct-taped to the end of the speeder, unable to move an inch. The duct tape was courtesy of Jalina, of course.“Are we there yet?” Kongu asked, as he defeated Matoro with a rock to scissors.“I’m Not sure. Where is ‘here’?” Jalina asked. Everyone on the skopio froze.“WE DON’T KNOW WHERE WE’RE GOING!?!?!?” Zaktan screamed from the backseat.“No, we know where we’re going. We just don’t know what we’re doing.” Jalina said. ‘ohs’ and ‘ahs’ of understanding resonated from the back of the vehicle. “I know that there’s a rodeo going on in Billings, Montana. I thought we could stop there, take a break from the road, and watch for a little bit.”“As long as I don’t end up riding a bull again, I’m fine with it.” Reidak said. Jalina laughed. On the last road trip the group had taken, Reidak had found himself an impromptu participant in a rodeo in New Mexico. Jalina and her brother Kapurkar ended up saving him from the bull with horses, rope, and ingenuity.“That bull was quite a bully, wasn’t he?” Vezok teased Reidak, poking him in the ribs. His teasing got him a punch in the face and a sore nose. It got Reidak a busied ego and a sore hand. Everyone else on the Skopio laughed as they passed a sign next to the road that said “Welcome to Billings, Montana!”“I’ll go see if there are still tickets available. You guys start looking for seats for all of us.” Jalina said later that night when they had finally found parking for a skopio and a speeder. Unfortunately, they couldn’t get in until they had the tickets, so the group had to wait until Jalina managed to purchase tickets for the whole group. The rodeo was just gearing up in the arena as group started muttering and scanning the packed stadium stands for seats. Eventually they found a large group of empty seats at the very end of the stands, and there were still some left over as they all sat down.“And Now, the meanest, leanest, toughest, Toa in the rodeo, KAPURKAR!” The announcer exclaimed over the PA system as a Tall toa with white and blue armor and a brown Kakama appeared on the big screen at one end of the arena, perched on a kikinalo in the holding pen.“Hey Jalina, isn’t that your brother?” Hahli asked, squinting at the rider down in the pen.“Yea. I didn’t know they let toa participate in the rodeo.” Jalina said, leaning back into her seat and pulling out her DS.“Well, they had lean right. Is your brother really that tall?” Numi asked.“Yes, and he’s still growing.” Jalina replied, not even glancing down.At the sound of the horn, the Kikinalo was set loose into the arena. He went crazy, bucking all over the ring, trying to knock his rider off. However, Kapurkar was used to riding wild animals, and held on with ease. In fact, he was so at ease that he was cracking jokes while hanging on with one hand.“How many Makuta does it take to change a Lightstone?” Kapurkar asked his steed. At this, the Kikinalo paused his rampage and considered the question. “I don’t know. How many?” the Kikinalo finally replied.“Well, considering how bad they’re afraid of the light, ALL OF THEM!” Kapurkar roared. The Kikinalo rolled his eyes, and, with a mighty whip, sent Kapurkar flying out of the saddle and into the stands. He landed, to no one’s surprise, upside-down in the empty seat next to Jalina, who didn’t even look up from her game.“You had to tell the lightstone joke, didn’t you?” Jalina asked, focused on her game and not even glancing at her brother. The only reply from the battered toa was a weak “yesss...”“Hey guys, I’m going to get a hot dog.” Reidak said, standing up and moving down the isle as the wranglers attempted to round up the kikinalo. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”“All right. Just be sure to be back in time to watch the next bull-riding contestant.” Jaller said as they watched the rodeo clowns lure the kikinalo to the gate at one end of the ring. Several minutes and several riders later, though, Reidak had still not returned.“It’s taking him an awful long time to get that hot dog.” Matoro remarked as the PA announced the next rider. Before anyone could reply, the next bull-rider was let loose into the ring.“Hey, isn’t that Reidak?” Jaller asked. Everyone leaned forward with interest. “I thought he said he didn’t want to do that again.”“So did I.” Axonn said. They all watched with surprise as Reidak handled the bull with amazing skill, a far cry from his unwilling attempt last year. Minutes later, Reidak led the bull out of the ring, the bull pawing the ground meekly behind him.“I didn’t know Reidak could ride.” Nuparu stated as Reidak vanished from the arena.“I can ride what?” Reidak asked, appearing at Nuparu’s side. Nuparu jumped out of his seat. “Where did you come from!?” He yelled.“I was getting a hot dog, remember?” Reidak said, holding up his prized snack.“But you were just riding a bull in the rodeo ring!” Thok exclaimed in disbelief.“You must have been seeing things. I have no desire to go near another bull.” Reidak said, looking down. “HEY! WHERE’S MY HOT DOG?!” He yelled. Behind him, Berix, who had been using a napkin to wipe a tidbit of mustard of his face, began to scoot down the aisle. He didn’t get very far before Numi caught him.“Hey, they’re announcing the finalists for Bull-Riding,” Zaktan said. Everyone listened, and stared in shock when Reidak’s name was announced.“But..But.. I Wasn’t riding!” Reidak said. “I was getting a hot dog! That I never got to eat! I’m going to go get another one.” He said, standing up again.“I’ll go with you.” Thok said. “I’m starting to get kind of hungry too.” He added, standing up and following Reidak down the aisle.“I bet he’s tailing Reidak to see whether he’s lying or not.” Kapurkar said, righting himself in his seat.“I don’t think it’s Reidak. He’s almost as scared of Bulls as Hewkii is of apples.” Jalina said. Behind her, Hewkii glanced around in shock and cowered a little lower in his seat.“But, if he really was getting a hot dog, then who was riding out there?”***Over by the hot dog stand, Reidak and Thok looked at all the fancy rodeo equipment for sale by a vendor. “those belt buckles are really cool.” Reidak said. Thok nodded in agreement.“HEY REIDAK! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE GETTING READY FOR YOUR COMPETITION!” A nearby cowboy said, snagging Reidak’s arm and dragging toward the bull pens, leaving Thok standing by the vendor in shock. Before Reidak could do anything or squeak out a word, he found himself with a cowboy hat on the back of a bull trembling with rage.“Deja-vu.” Reidak whimpered. A horn sounded, and the bull was released into the arena, with Reidak hanging on for dear life. Meanwhile, Thok had raced back to everyone else in the stands.“Reidak’s riding in the next competition!” Thok said, out of breath as he sat down. Or rather, fell face-first into the aisle “Who really sticks old gum under these seats?” He wondered.“But... They’re releasing TWO riders into the ring?!” Kapurkar said, staring at the ring in shock. “They don’t do that!”But they had. Somewhere along the line, a command, order, or listing had not been followed correctly, resulting in an amusing coincidence. somehow Reidak found himself riding a bull in the ring with... ANOTHER Reidak riding a bull.“Now I’m seeing things. Please tell me that there aren’t two Reidaks in there.” Numi muttered, holding her head in her hands.“Okay. There aren’t two Reidaks in there.” Berix chirped. The entire group watched in shock as the two Reidaks rode rampaging bulls in the ring. Soon, however, Bugs-Bunny type mayhem erupted, with the bulls riding the Reidaks, Reidak riding Reidak, the bulls riding each other, and all four chasing each other around the ring with large wooden mallets.“Okay, it’s time to get this over with.” Jalina said, racing down the stands to a horse that was conveniently saddled and tied up by the gate. Since all the wranglers and rodeo clowns were struck dumb with the incredulous event taking place, she had to take on the challenge herself. With one smooth move, she mounted the horse and rode into the ring. Circling the Reidaks, who were both running frantically from the bulls by this time, she herded them into a holding pen off the arena proper. She dismounted the horse, ran back out, then reached down and pulled a cord that closed the gate behind them, leaving the bulls to crash into the gate. Dismounting, Jalina led the two Reidaks over away from the ring, near the gate around the entire arena. By then, the rest of the group had raced down from the stands and joined them in one of the back pens.“Oh great, not HIM again.” Jaller muttered as the two Reidaks turned to face each other.“Clarification, please?” Numi asked, confused.“Alright. A few years ago, when I wrote the original Road Trip, there was a Reidak that bounced around the different comedies, causing trouble. It was a fad, of sorts. It was considered good for him to appear in a comedy, though I’m not exactly sure why. He appeared in Road Trip when we were at the beach. I don’t recall how he disappeared, though.” Jalina explained. “And I’m not sure how or why he showed up this time. I’m guessing he just hung around here, and happened to be here when we arrived.”“Well, now that this is all sorted out, can we go get dinner? I never got my hot dog.” Reidak said. The rest of the group began walking away, leaving the other Reidak behind in the pen. Numi hung back at the back of the group with Jalina.“Admit it, girl. You just wanted to get that fad started again.” Numi said, playfully punching Jalina in the shoulder.“Can’t an old writer have a little fun?” Jalina asked, laughing and waving her hand over her shoulder. Behind them, the other Reidak faded away into the darkness.“So what’s for dinner?” Numi asked, hungry.“I was thinking Pizza Hut.” Jalina said.“That sounds good to me. RACE YA!” Numi laughed and ran ahead. Jalina shook her head and slowly followed. Friends could be so silly, sometimes.***“How could she?” the voice hissed in the blackness. “She did not bring that Reidak into this comedy... I am sure of it. But no matter. It will not be a problem soon... This comedy and its characters will soon be lost...to me.”


Edited by Jalina T.T., Aug 01 2013 - 01:47 PM.

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#13 Offline Jalina T.T.

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Posted Nov 01 2012 - 07:23 PM

Inspired to do this again by NaNoWriMo. Anyone in the comedies forum doing it this year?Road Trip 2!Chapter 7“PIZZA HUT!”“Alright guys, try to behave this time.” Jalina said as she opened the door for everyone to walk inside the restaurant. Kapurkar muttered something about meeting a friend and remained outside in the parking lot. Inside, the employees shuffled tables and chairs until everyone was seated at two long rows of tables in the middle of the dining area. Jalina perused the menu while the others quietly joked and talked. “Pepper eating contest!” Hakann called out suddenly. “Whoever can eat the most black pepper without taking a drink gets a free ice cream later!” the others cheered. A few minutes later, Hakkan, Kongu, Zaktan, Axonn, Jaller, Vezok, and Hewkii were lined up along one side of the table. Avak placed three pepper shakers along the middle of the table, as he and Nuparu, along with Hahli, Berix, Thok, Matoro and Reidak, sat down on the other side. At that moment, Kapurkar and his friend Tahu (The Stars version) came in. Tahu, not wanting to miss a chance to show off his skills, joined the contest. Kapurkar sat down next to Reidak. At the other table, Jalina sighed and continued comparing pizzas on the menu. “On your Marks, get set...” Numi said, as everyone seated shifted themselves in their chairs. “GO!” Immediately, the eight contestants began shoveling pepper into their mouths. Hewkii fell out of the competition almost immediately, knocking over Jaller’s water in an attempt to grab his own. Hahli quickly refilled both, with a wave of her hand, and marked Hewkii’s time on a napkin she had handy. No one noticed Jalina oder enough pizza for 17 hungry biomechanical beings. On it went, as more black pepper vanished, and others began dropping out. Soon only Zaktan and Tahu were left in the competition. The tension mounted. The Tension then rode its horse back to the rodeo as the two continued to shove pepper into their mouths. The others began to lean forward in their chairs, excited. Spectators from other tables came, eager to watch the competition. The pressure was on. Then the unexpected happened. They ran out of pepper. Tahu panted as his mouth grew hotter and hotter while Reidak ran to another table to get more pepper shakers. Zaktan, meanwhile, was having trouble preventing a sneeze. Finally, unable to stand the wait, he took a large breath and exhaled, shooting a large stream of fire that cooked the pizzas that still waiting in the kitchen, and scorched Thok’s face in the meantime. He then scrabbled for the water cup in front of him and took several large gulps of water. “Zaktan is the winner!” Kapurkar yelled. Zaktan bowed to the scattered applause, then, unable to contain it, let out a huge sneeze.“HE’S GONE!” Tahu screamed, falling out of his chair. Indeed, Zaktan had seemly vanished into thin air as he sneezed.“That sneeze must have scattered his protodites.” Matoro observed. A couple minutes later, small green clouds began to reform as Zaktan pulled himself together. By then, the plethora of pizzas had arrived. “Yay! There’s cheese in the crust!” Numi cheered as they all dug in. The rest of the night passed without incident, unless you count Berix trying to sneak Axonn’s last piece of pizza onto his own plate. That didn’t end well. ***The next day, the motley group left their hotel and crossed the state border into South Dakota. The sun was shining and the wind was blowing, which did not bode well for Zaktan, who was still having a hard time keeping himself together. Eventually, Hakann shoved him in a backpack to keep him from dissipating entirely.“Are we there yet?” Kapurkar called from his kikinalo behind the main group. “Almost!” Jalina called from the front of Skopio. “We’re going to stop at Mount Rushmore for a quick break!” Cheers went up from all around. Half an hour later, Skopio, Numi’s speeder bike, and Kapurkar’s kikinalo pulled into the Mount Rushmore national monument parking lot. The group disembarked from their vehicles while Skopio and the kikinalo settled down in the shade of a large tree. “Hey look! The Gift Shop’s open!” Vezok called when they finally got to the end of the parking lot. “let’s go inside!” he said, walking through the door. Literally. “ARRGGGHHH!!!” Vezok screamed as broken glass rained down on his head. Jalina took one look at the door and groaned. Yet another broken object to pay for. As Jalina opened the other door to go inside and pay for the broken one, the rest of the group followed her inside and spread out through the museum and gift shop. A few members of the group went out to walk on the trails. Numi and Berix walked over to the low concrete wall near the beginning of the trails. “Um, I’m just going to go...” Berix stuttered, trying to slide away from Numi and toward the trails. He did not get far before Numi grabbed him by the back of his neck and pulled him away from the start of the trail. “Nice try, shorty.” she said, picking him up and walking away from the trails.“I’ve been with you too long to not think you’re up to something.” Numi said, setting Berix down on a bench. “Knowing you, you’re probably going to carve your face on Mount Rushmore or something. Well, IT’S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. I’m keeping my eye on you, Berix, and if I see you doing anything funny, anything suspicious at all, you’re going to get it!”“Get what?” Jalina asked as she walked over from the gift shop to Numi and Berix. “By the way, I finally got that door problem straightened out.”“Oh, Berix is just trying to sneak off and cause trouble again.” Numi said, glaring at Berix, who cowered on the bench. “Really? Well, I’ve found that threatening to take away something they like really works to keep kids and annoying piraka in line.” Jalina said. “Most of the time,” She muttered to herself. “Thanks for the tip.” Numi said, glancing up. She looked back down at the cowering blue figure. “Berix, If I catch you doing ANYTHING you’re not supposed to, I’m going to take away your TV privileges. No Phineas and Ferb for a month.”“NOOOOOO!!!!!” Berix screamed, falling off the bench and onto his knees. “ANYTHING but that! Please! I’ll be good! I Promise! PLEASE DON’T! PLEASE!!!!” He begged, his eyes beginning to screw up with tears. Numi rolled her eyes. “All right, get up. You can go off now. But Remember, If I see anything...” Numi left her sentence hanging, the threat lingering. Jalina knew that Numi would follow through with that threat, if provoked. “All right, I’m glad to see you two have worked it out,” Jalina said, beginning to turn around. “I’m going to make sure no one else is getting into trouble.” She finished, going back into the museum. Berix leapt to his feet and walked quickly down the nearest trail, whistling. Numi watched him go with a glare, shrugged, and turned to look at Mount Rushmore some more. ***Later, Jalina and Numi were looking through a stack of postcards in the gift shop when Hahli walked up to them. “Have you seen Mount Rushmore recently?” Hahli asked, picking up a postcard with mild interest.“I’ve already seen it.” Jalina said, setting another card back on the rack. “Family trip.”“It’s really amazing, though. I didn’t know one of the presidents wore a great Kadin!” Hahli said, her eyes shining with delight. “I TOLD Berix that if I caught him doing...” Numi began to growl, then paused. “Did you say, ‘Great Kadin?’” Numi asked. “Yeah. There were four human heads and a Kadin. there was also something that looked like a Skakdi face, but I couldn’t tell.” Hahli said, confused. “Those are part of Mount Rushmore, right?”“Not before now, and not for long.” Jalina said, marching outside. “NUPARU!!!! AVAK!!!!”***“I think someone’s calling us.” Nuparu said, standing on top of Mount Rushmore with a pickaxe and some dynamite. “It sounds like Jalina.” Avak said, listening intently to the faint voice.“Do you think she likes our work?” Nuparu asked. “It is pretty impressive, after all. And all in an hour!” “No, I don’t think she likes it.” Avak replied. “In fact, she sounds really angry. And she’s starting up the trail with a large hammer...” Avak said, his sentence dwindling. “How does a race to see who can get out of here the fastest sound?”“I’ve never heard a more beautiful idea.” Nuparu said, already running from the cliff face. ***“And you thought I was going to do something!” Berix gloated later from the back of the speeder as the group drove away from Mount Rushmore, now restored to its original state. “That’s because you almost always do it.” Numi muttered. Ahead of her, She could see Jalina driving their Skopio down the highway. In the back, she could see two heavily bandaged figures that vaguely resembled Nuparu and Avak. “Too bad those two had to fall halfway down the cliff while they were running. And that was before Jalina got to them.”“But they’ve learned their lesson, right?” Berix asked, gleefully. “For now. But I would be surprised if they didn’t try anything again. They’re like you.” Axonn said. “Stubborn and always getting into some sort of trouble.”“Why thank... HEY!” Berix said as Numi laughed. Ahead of them, the sun set as the group continued to drive down the highway stretching into the distance. It was the perfect time for a road trip with friends. ***“She’s becoming more... Powerful.” The voice hissed. “She’s resisting my pull...determined...and stubborn.” It continued. “But no matter. Before long, she will forget those toa.. The Piraka...Her guest stars...the comedy.” Somewhere in the dark chamber, a large figure stood, dominating the dark room. “She will forget, and I will rule them all.”
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#14 Offline Toa Numi Tanoni

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Posted Nov 01 2012 - 09:54 PM

This was a hot plate of awesome with awesomeness on the side and covered in awesome-sauce! In case you can't tell... I LOVE THIS STORY!
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I AM AN ELECTRICITY TOA! STOP PESTERING ME!

#15 Offline fishers64

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Posted Nov 02 2012 - 11:52 PM

I found this comedy to be excellent. Bionicle characters in the human universe is somewhat of an eccentric delight, and I'm picturing the Skopio going seventy. You seem to have held off on the hidden enemy thing for a bit too long, however, as references to him haven't been enough to establish him as much of a threat yet. I want to see the...weapons...of the Skopio get used later. That would be fun. :)A couple nitpicks in the last chapter:

A few members of the group went out to walk on the trails. Numi and Berix walked over to the low concrete wall near the beginning of the trails.

Trails is redundant. Probably better just to ax the first sentence, or put it as "A few members of the group went to out to walk around."

No one noticed Jalina oder enough pizza for 17 hungry biomechanical beings.

Order.Anyway, it's good reading. Although that scene with Avak and Nuparu at Mt. Rushmore could have been more intense. It seems that nobody is really noticing the Bionicle characters in the world around them, which is somewhat odd. That's a mystery...you can use that. :)So good job, and I welcome more chapters from you. :)

Edited by fishers64, Nov 04 2012 - 01:58 AM.

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#16 Offline Fabulous Sunshine

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Posted Nov 03 2012 - 07:08 AM

Well, it's been a while since I've read this comedy. Of course, I'll get onto your review soon enough Secret Final Boss of Doom.
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#17 Offline Jalina T.T.

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Posted Nov 05 2012 - 11:25 AM

Back again! By the way, did anyone go see Wreck-it Ralph yet? It's amazing!Okay, now time for...Road Trip 2! Part 8“Mornin’ J.” Hahli yawned as she stepped out onto the walkway of the motel. Jalina was leaning against the rail, cradling a cup of hot chocolate. In front of them, the sun was just beginning to rise, painting light, pastel oranges and pinks across the South Dakota landscape.“Good morning.” Jalina replied, taking a sip of hot chocolate. “Did you get a good night’s sleep last night?”“Not really.” Hahli admitted. “I had this really weird dream...”“Really? What was it about?” Jalina asked, turning to look at Hahli.“It’s hard to remember,” Hahli said, leaning on the rail next to Jalina. “But I think that I was in a dark cavern...dank and damp, with no lightstones or light bulbs anywhere... And I couldn’t move... There was something holding me back... And I heard this voice...quiet, raspy...saying something about a stories’ downfall...” She continued, gazing out over the parking lot. “Do you think it could mean anything?”“It probably means we need to keep Berix away from Matoro’s books or something.” Jalina said, straightening up. “Don’t worry about it, it’s probably nothing at all.” Jalina looked down the walkway. “Why don’t you get some breakfast? I’ve already eaten, and I fed Skopio. This motel has really good waffles.” She said, pointing to the stairs. Hahli silently nodded and headed down, suddenly feeling much better. Jalina always could rationalize a person’s fears. Jalina turned back to the rail. The sunrise was in full bloom, and a slight breeze was blowing, sending an occasional tumbleweed rolling by. Jalina sighed. If only her own fears could just as easily be dismissed as a bad dream...A sudden banging sound caught Jalina’s attention, and she turned to see a tall young man step out of a motel room with a cloud of smoke several doors down. Taking a closer look, she could tell that she was not the only one with a hard-to-handle traveling group. The young man was covered in dust and one of his shirtsleeves was on fire. He turned around and called something back into the room, then walked down the walkway until he reached Jalina. “Mornin’” Jalina said calmly. “rough night?”“Yeah,” the boy said, leaning on the rail next to Jalina. “I’ve got a Vortixx, a Matoran, and a Makuta that aren’t getting along very well right now. I’m Doctor Bob, by the way.” He said, extending his hand. Jalina shook it, introduced herself, then returned to her hot chocolate. “I’ve heard of your epics,” she said, stirring the cocoa. “I’ve never gotten a chance to read them though. I’ve been taking a road trip with six Piraka, nine toa, a titan, and an agori that can’t keep his hands out of trouble.” Jalina continued. “what brings you out here to South Dakota?”“I’m trying to get these guys to cooperate a little better.” Doctor Bob said. “I figured a road trip would do them some good and encourage each other to get along. But It seems as if we’ve wandered into a comedy instead.”“Why don’t you join us?” Jalina asked. “We won’t notice a few more friends along.”“That would be great.” Doctor Bob said. “We could use someone who knows their way around a comedy.”“I should probably warn you, though,” Jalina said. “Since you guys are from an epic, you won’t know how to deal with what you may come across here. Comedies are full of the strange and unexpected.” At that moment, the room door Next to Jalina’s burst open, smoke billowed, and Berix scrambled out, followed closely by Numi, who was covered in scrambled eggs and ash.“BERIX!” Numi screeched, chasing him down the walkway. “I TOLD YOU to warm the eggs up in the microwave! NOT BLOW UP THE MICROWAVE!” Doctor Bob and Jalina watched as the purple and green toa chased Berix down the stairs and out of sight. “Of course, it’s more ‘strange’ than ‘unexpected’” Jalina said mildly, returning to her cocoa as Doctor Bob looked on in shock. “But You’ll get used to it.”***“Is everyone ready to go?” Jalina asked later that morning as everyone began loading up for another day of travel. Numi gave a thumbs up from her speeder, with Berix freshly duct-taped to the back again. Kapurkar and Tahu waved from on top of their kikinalo, and Doctor Bob was loading the three of his companions onto a Thornatus. After a little shuffling of luggage, the group checked out of the motel (and paid the fees for the smoke damage) and took off down the highway. Jaller plugged his iPod into the player strapped to the side of his seat, and music began to blare out of hidden speakers.Let’s Pack up and move to California,She's got lots of friends out there.We'll never get board ‘cause we can go boardingLet's let the sunshine take us there!“Oh come on, Jaller!” Hakann complained from the backseat. “You ALWAYS play that song! Can't you play something different for once?”“I’m trying!” Jaller said, punching buttons on the iPod. “But it’s not working!”“Then try harder!” Hakann roared, shooting a magma ball into the air. The others watched as the ball flew over their heads and onto the highway out of sight. In the distance, they could see the lava ball land. Seconds later, they heard a distant BOOM. “I hope we didn’t break anything important.” Vezok said as they all watched in shock. “Knowing you people, we probably did.” Jalina said as she kept on hand on the skopio controls while she use the other to shade her eyes. “We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. But for now,” Jalina continued, glaring at Hakann. “we’ll keep our weapons to ourselves, won’t we?” Hakann shrunk down in his seat, embarrassed. “And Jaller,” Jalina said, turning her eyes back to the road. “You forgot to unlock the iPod. slip the silver switch on top to unlock it.”“Oh.” Jaller said, leaning forward to correct his mistake. “I knew I was forgetting something. Half an hour later, the group found the “results” of Hakann’s loss of temper. A large mass of half-melted bicycle lay next to the road, with a blond teenager with pink sunglasses standing next to it, trying to hitch a ride. Jalina pulled Skopio over to the side of the road and jumped down, walking over to the girl. “Hi, do you need a ride?” Jalina asked. The girl looked at her and smiled. “Yes. You won’t believe this. A giant ball of magma came out of nowhere and destroyed my bike! I was able to jump off before it hit me, though.” The girl said. “I’m Helen. It’s nice to meet you.”“I’m Jalina,” Jalina replied, introducing herself. “And Yes, I believe you. In fact, I even know what destroyed your bike.” She continued, gesturing to the large red piraka on Skopio. “One of my traveling companions had a bit of a temper flare. And he doesn’t always connect keeping his temper down and not using his weapon during temper flares.” Jalina explained. “So do you need a llift?”“I would LOVE one!” Helen exclaimed. “I was headed to Boston, but It doesn’t look like you have any more room on your Skopio.”“Not a problem.” Jalina said. “You can ride with Kapurkar and Tahu on their kikinalo for now. I’m sure they have room.” She walked over to Kapurkar and talked with him for a couple of minutes then returned. “He can give you a ride. And I’ll pack your bike into Nuparu’s suitcase. He’s practically turned it into a TARDIS when it comes to storage space. He can fit it in there for you. I’ll find someone to fix it when we stop tonight.” She continued. After giving Helen a boost onto Kapurkar’s Kikinalo, she jumped back up onto Skopio and lead the troop down the highway again. ***Later that day, The group stopped at a gas station for fuel, bathroom breaks, and snacks. As Jalina pulled the door open so that Hewkii and Thok could back out with several large bags of Ding-Dongs, (including their own ‘Ding-Dongs’ that had tried to mess with the slushy machine) She bumped into a young man standing just behind her. Surprised, she jumped and turned around, almost accidentally letting the door slam on Hewkii’s foot. “I’m sorry.” Jalina apologized. “I didn’t see you behind me.” Behind her, Hewkii, Thok, and Nuparu tried to get through the door at the same time, and got stuck“It's no problem.” The young man said. “I’m X-ray.”“Jalina” Jalina said, introducing herself for the third time that day. “It’s nice to meet you.”“It’s nice to meet you too.” X-ray said. “Do you, by any chance, happen to know how to get to New York? Kopaka isn’t as good with a map as he says he is, and my girlfriend’s been insisting we stop and ask for directions for the last two hours.”“Sure.” Jalina said. “We’re heading that way, in fact Would you like to join us?”“It would be a pleasure.” X-ray said. “Kopaka and I-Ray, my girlfriend, are waiting out side. We’ve been driving a Tahtorak, and we have a little room to spare, if necessary. We were going to meet a friend of mine and his wife, but I got a call saying he got on the wrong bus, and can’t meet us.”“It’s just as well.” Jalina said as she led the way back out to the parking lot, ignoring her companions as they tried to get unstuck from the door. “If this keeps up I’ll never be able to keep track of everyone.”***“Hey Jalina?” Kongu asked as the group drove away from the gas station a few minutes later.“Yes, Kongu?”“Did you realize that this is chapter eight, and we picked up eight more guest stars?” Kongu asked. “Do you think that it’s a coincidence.”“Yes, I think it’s a coincidence, Kongu.” Jalina said. No one notice the small, dark figure that watched them leave, then disappeared behind the store. ***“Still more companions?” the Dark figure asked. “She is growing bolder. But she will not be able to control them all at once. Her hold on the comedy will falter. She will lose her will... So many old, crusty BIONICLE characters and guest stars will drive her to look for fresh life...and she will join us instead.” The figure pressed a button on a hidden panel and a large glowing display came out of the wall. “Biomechanical beings are things of the past. She must learn to embrace the robots of the future...or be lost to the darkness.”
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Defy Expectations


#18 Offline Fabulous Sunshine

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Posted Nov 06 2012 - 04:34 AM

Review Time! Here we go!Spelling and Grammar:

It so was unbelievable and shocking, all she could do was stare.

Maybe you should add a conjunction instead of a comma, like 'that' for an example. Also, you should change the position of 'so' and 'was'.

It was sparkling, Gleaming, your-neat-freak-grandma-is-coming-to-visit, Spit and polish clean.

Should you have capital letters for 'gleaming' and 'spit'?

And Matoro was laid back on another couch, reading a book.

I don't think you should start a sentence with 'and'.

Zaktan shouted from under Avak’s foot. “then she wouldn’t have known

Capital letter for 'then'.

It’s water under the bridge, guys. Let it go,” Matoro said, closing his book and sitting up on the couch. “So, Jalina, you do realize that it’s summer, and, except for one or two minor exceptions,” Matoro continued, glaring at the others, “we’ve been pretty good. so what do you say to a road trip again this year?”

Bolded are the corrections.

“I don’t know...” Jalina replied. “remember the last time we took a road trip?”

Capital letter for 'remember'.

“No.” Hewkii responded“You wouldn’t.” Jaller muttered. “you were obsessed with apples most of the time.”

Firstly, spacing required between the two pieces of dialogue. Secondly, needs period after 'responded'. Thirdly, 'you' has to possess a capital 'y'.Those were merely some examples of the spelling and grammar errors that I found in the five chapters that I was assigned to review, for listing all of them would be too time-consuming. However, most of your errors are rather minor, and probably there due to lack of attention. They can be easily fixed by re-reading your chapters again in search for errors, so other than the small mistakes made, there aren't too many problems with the spelling and grammar.I'd rate this category 85%Humour:Well, most of your humour can be found in the conversations between your characters, which don't seem rather forced - a positive trait to your comedy in my opinion. Most of your gags are amusing, and provide a good chuckle at times. I do recommend that you add a bit more humour into the comedy, because it needs a bit more jokes and the like, as right now it's mostly random conversation.I'd rate it 80%Plot:Upon first reading, one assumes the plot to be a simple journey around Amerika in order to engage in amusing activities, with no real over-connecting story. However, upon further reading, one finds out that you've placed some sort of dark conspiracy of doom in the background, which comes to the fore at times. It's pretty early to say how your plot will be going, although from reading chapters after what was assigned for me to review shows that they wish to recruit you, or more specifically, your self-insert/author avatar.Greater fusion between the comedic plot and the overlaying conspiracy might be better in the long run, but you're doing a decent job with it right now.I'd say ... 85%Overall:Well, in general your comedy is off to a pretty stable and decent start. It doesn't require too much knowledge of the previous Road Trip to enjoy, allowing for new fans to come in and read. You've got pretty good spelling and grammar with the only mistakes probably being due to lack of attention, some solid humour, which can still be improved, along with a rather stable plot, which I suppose you have already worked out.I'm looking forward to seeing where this goes.Average Rating: 83.3 ...%

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#19 Offline Jalina T.T.

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Posted Apr 18 2013 - 01:16 PM

[color=#0000ff;][font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"]*Poke head in*[/color][/font]

 

[color=#0000ff;][font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"]*Post*[/color][/font]

 

[color=#0000ff;][font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"]*exit*[/color][/font]

 

 

Road Trip 2

 

Chapter 9

 

The sun shone brightly as the caravan of mismatched vehicles traveled down the highway. In front, a Skopio carrying six toa, six Piraka, and a teenager powered along with a steady rumble. Behind them, a Tahtorak carrying a toa and two human teenagers ran along, easily keeping pace. Third in line was a kikinalo carrying two toa and a Female teenager. Behind all three, a Star Wars style speeder carried a Toa, a Titan, and an agori. Bringing up the rear was a Thornatus with another Human teen, a Vortixx, a matoran, and a Makuta. It certainly was a rather interesting camadre of characters traveling down the road that day. 

 

“Hey Jalina, Where are we stopping today?” Vezok asked from the backseat. 

 

“I’m not sure yet. But we need to find somewhere where we can get Helen’s bike repaired. I still can’t believe you were able to fit it in your suitcase, Nuparu, along with a Jacuzzi and a trampoline. AND the kitchen sink. Did you really have to bring that?” Jalina asked from her drivers seat on Skopio. 

 

“Trade secret.” Nuparu said, “But I will tell you it involves string, a Kanohi Olmak, and a LOT of spare time. And yes, I had to bring the sink.”

 

“...I won’t even ask.” Jalina said, turning her attention back to the road. “We just crossed in to Minnesota. I think there’s a town on the other side of the mountain we can stop at.” She continued. A beeping noise came from the radio. “Hey Jalina, How’s it going up there?”

 

“We’re doing good, Doctor Bob.” Jalina replied, pushing a button on the radio that allowed all five transports to communicate. “How about you guys?”

 

“Pretty well. Cybil and Marek are driving each other nuts again though. “Course, Vortixx and Matoran never got along very well in the first place. And Ihrax is completely ignoring them. Right now, though, we’re doing good.” Doctor Bob said over the radio. 

 

“We’re not doing so good.” Numi reported over her radio. “Berix is trying to mess with the repulsor lifts again. He said something about adding a decent seat...”

 

“You don’t expect me to be duct-taped to this thing the entire time, do you?” Berix called over the radio. 

 

“You will be if you keep it up, Berix!” Numi yelled. Jalina could hear grumbling over the radio. “Just let me tighten up this one screw...” She heard Berix say in the background. Seconds later, a high-pitched whine was heard over the radio before Jalina lost all sense of thought as Skopio suddenly roared and took off at an ever increasing speed. Behind her, she could faintly hear the Kikinalo and the Tahtorak give similar screams of pain before taking off not far behind. 

 

“What’s happening!?” Matoro yelled over the piercing screams of pain from Skopio.

 

“I don’t know!” Jalina called back. “Just HANG ON!”

 

***

 

“That can’t be good.” Marek commented as they watched the three lead vehicles take off down the highway. They had passed into Minnesota and were up in the mountains when all three animal transports had released bestial yells and rumbled away at amazing speeds. Doctor Bob and Numi’s vehicles were falling behind as the others sped up the mountain, and were quickly out of sight. 

 

“We’d better go catch up with them.” Doctor Bob said. He reached for the radio. “Numi, what do you say we go find our MIA friends?”

 

“Axonn! Grab Berix and hold him down!” He heard Numi screech. “We’re going to go FAST! HANG ON!”

 

Seconds later, both the Thornatus and the Speeder were blurs, racing to catch up with the others. 

 

***

It was a beautiful, quiet day in forests of Minnesota. A quiet that was soon shattered by a rampaging Skopio crashing through the underbrush. Behind it, the screeches of a Kikinalo and a Tatorahk could be heard as they veered off in different directions, seeking escape from who-knew-what. 

 

Skopio veered left and right, mindlessly running. Jalina dared to straighten up enough to try to see where they were going and to calm Skopio down. She had enough time to see a tree limb before it slammed into her and knocked her off Skopio, throwing her to the ground. All she could do was blearily watch from the forest floor as Skopio raced onward. Soon, she was alone in the dense brush. She could still faintly hear the screams of her friends as they tried to hang on as she passed out.

 

***

In another part of the woods, Kapurkar had finally managed to calm his Kikinalo down enough to dismount without killing himself and calm him the rest of the way. By that time, they were deep into the woods. Helen looked around uncertainly. The forest was eerily quiet, and she couldn’t hear any of the other mounts, or anyone for that matter. She looked down at Kapurkar, who was stroking the kikinalo’s nose gently. 

 

“Any ideas?” She asked. 

 

“Right now? Not really.” Kapurkar said. “I would say start looking for everyone else, but we would probably only get more lost.”

 

“How can we get any more lost than this?” Helen retorted, leaning around Tahu to see. Kapurkar only shrugged and turned back to tend to the kikinalo. all three of them froze when they heard a twig snap. Kapurkar turned and pulled out a large metal hammer. Tahu and Helen slid down next to him, Tahu pulling out his firesword, Helen a small white and red ball. 

 

“Please tell me there’s a real Pokemon in that ball.” Tahu said.

 

“Sorry.” Helen replied. “It’s just a fake. I do some cosplay in my spare time.”

Before either of the others could do more than stare at her, however, the bushes near the edge of the clearing trembled. Swords were raised cautiously, ready for whatever might come out. All three approached the bush cautiously, then dove for cover when a large black figure came flying out and slammed headfirst into the kikinalo. 

 

“NUPARU!” Kapurkar shouted, breathing a sigh of relief and sitting up from a pile of dead leaves. “You nearly gave me a heart attack! What were you doing in the bushes?”

 

“Hiding from rampaging animals.” Nuparu said, standing up and brushing himself off. The kikinalo was laying on its side, unconscious from the force of impact. “Zaktan and I got knocked off by a low-hanging branch as Skopio rampaged.  So did Jalina, come to think of it, but we don’t know where she ended up.” He continued, gesturing to the bush as Zaktan slunk out, a little frazzled from the landing. 

 

“Do you know where anyone else is? We need find them before it gets dark.” Helen said, straightening her coat. “And we should move fast, the sun’s already starting to set.”

 

“How did that happen?” Tahu said, looking up. “I could have sworn it was midday.”

 

“It is, I just said that to add dramatic tension.”

 

“Oh, you’re just going to be a bucket of laughs, I can tell.”

 

“Derivative conversation aside, we really should start looking for the others.” Kapurkar said. “Was anyone keeping track of how many of us there were? I lost count.”

 

“How are we supposed to look for them? Our Kikinalo isn’t very agile when it comes to the woods.” Tahu said, pointing back at the unconscious beast. “And it will take far too long to search on foot.”

 

“Hey! I bet Nuparu can fix Helen’s bike, and she can go look for the others!” Zaktan said. The others looked at him in surprise. “What? I don’t see you guys coming up with any bright ideas! Besides, the kikinalo’s out like a light.”

 

“There’s just one problem,” Kapurkar said. “Helen’s bike is in his suitcase, and it’s still on Skopio, who is currently rampaging through some other part of the forest!!”

 

“Actually...” Nuparu started, pulling his suitcase from behind his back. “I was able to snag it before I fell off.” With that, he opened the case and thrust an arm inside, rummaging around. A frown creased his mask, and he reached further, still digging. Finally, he threw his whole upper body inside, digging deep into the case. Curious, Tahu looked over his shoulder and into the case.

“DUDE! You’ve got a Jacuzzi in there!?” He asked incredulously. 

 

“Yep. I’ve also got a kitchen sink, a iMac, A canoe, and a blue Police box. I’m not even really sure how that last one got in there.” Nuparu replied. “AH! Here it is!” He said, pulling out a mess of melted pink metal and black tire. “Don’t worry, I’ll have it fixed in a jiffy.” Nuparu said in response to Helen’s shocked face. He set the ruined bike down, pulled out a long tube that looked an awful lot like a sonic screwdriver, sat down, and began to work. Tahu, still looking at the case, slipped and fell in, leading to an adventure which will be chronicled another time.

 

***

“That was quite a ride.” Hewkii said, looking around. He, Matoro and Thok were stranded in yet another deserted clearing near the base of a large cliff. “We really should get under cover before it starts to rain or something.” He continued.  Skopio and the others where nowhere to be seen, and the forest was eerily silent. As were his two companions.

 

“Of course, this would be a lot easier if you both weren’t knocked out cold.” Hewkii observed, dragging Thok over to a sheltered alcove in the cliff face. Matoro was already under cover. “But I guess I’ll have to live with it.” As soon as they were tucked away in the small cave, there was a crack of lightning, and rain began pouring down. 

 

“Naturally.” Hewkii said, looking out at the rain. “Talk about your mood weather.”

 

“Do you guys feel like we’re being watched?” He asked. No one replied. “As in, some person reading this because the author wrote it in at eleven at night just explain what happened to the others? And that she’ll cut to a different character at a completely random time?”

 

“Yeah, I didn’t think so. That would be completely ridic-”

 

***

Jalina ran through the pounding rain, slipping in the mud it created. Although the forest around her was silent, she kept running. Her friends were lost. Skopio was scared and missing.

 

And something was after her. 

 

Behind her, dark, cloaked shapes seemed to melt out of the trees, pursuing their fleeing quarry. In the lead was a tall, broad figure, followed by a smaller person, both in black cloaks. They ran faster and faster, gaining on the petite teenager slipping through the trees ahead of them. 

 

Jalina almost didn’t see the cliff until it was too late. She skidded to a stop just in time, teetering on the edge for a second. She turned and found herself cornered by the cloaked figures. She inched a foot back, then fell when the ground broke away from beneath her. She scrabbled for a handhold, finally snagging a large rock that was rooted into the mountainside. Her feet slipped around on the steep slope beneath her, trying desperately to find a purchase. 

 

“Now, was our offer really so bad?” a voice said from above her. Looking up, Jalina could see the two figures looking down at her. Their faces were concealed by their hoods. The soft yet menacing voice spoke again. “You know, it really would be a shame to refuse. It is a long fall to the bottom.” Jalina looked down quickly to see a canyon far, far below her. She Looked back up at the two figures. “I will never accept!” She said quietly, yet her words carried. 

 

“Pity.” The tall figure said, raising a gloved fist. “It’s really too bad, you don’t really have a choice...”

 

“Captain!” the small figure spoke, looking out into the horizon. “Look over there!”

 

“What?” the captain said, lifting his gaze from the figure hanging perilously. “It’s a cliffhanger!

 

“What are you talking about?” Jalina asked. “I’m down-”

 

CLIFFHANGER!

 

“Oh yeah, sure, a cliffhanger.” Jalina muttered. “And I’m hanging from a cliff. Yeah. Reeaalll funny.”

 

1,842 words UPDATED: 2,034 words


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#20 Offline Jalina T.T.

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Posted May 02 2013 - 01:05 PM

[color=#0000ff;][font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"]*Another post*[/color][/font]

 

[color=#0000ff;][font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"]*Leaves*[/color][/font]

 

 

[font="arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"]Road Trip 2[/font]

 

Chapter nine, part two.  Ten: Getting the gang back together OR I'm not doing this stupid "Half chapter" stuff again, it's too confusing.

 

 

“Well, this is a sticky wicket.” Kongu said. He, Vezok, Avak, Reidak, Hakann, Kopaka, X-ray, and X-ray’s girlfriend had all run into Kapurkar’s group in the deserted clearing in the middle of the forest. Now they were all lost, confused, wet, and a little hungry. (Thok had eaten all the snacks an hour before.)

 

“You said it.” X-Ray said, leaning on a tree. “We don’t know where we are, where everyone else is, How we’re going to get out of here, and what even drove the animals mad!”

 

“I know it stopped raining, finally.” Kapurkar said, holding out a hand and catching one of the last few raindrops. “Sadly, I don’t know the answer to any of the other questions. Nuparu couldn’t even get Helen’s bike fixed.” He said, looking over a Nuparu, who had somehow gotten himself tangled in pike metal, black tire, and bike chain. Helen was standing next to him, trying to pull the bike off. 

 

“I TOLD you, I don’t need a snack bar and grenade launcher built into my bike!” Helen grumbled, yanking on the handlebars.

 

“EVERY bike needs a snack bar.” Nuparu said, twisting his head around. “I just decided to throw in the grenade launcher for fun.”  

 

“Well, just fix the bike next time, please?” Helen asked, finally freeing him from the ruined bike. “It’s not like we have any snacks for the snack bar anyway...”

 

“If you guys are done arguing,” Kapurkar said, “we should try to find the others and get out of here.” He had hardly moved from his sitting position next to the kikinalo when a high-pitched scream rang through the forest. The kikinalo’s ears perked up before he, like the other animals, fled in terror. The group could only whip around and look for the source of the scream, and watch as the kikinalo fled into the forest. 

 

“That sounded like Jalina!” Kongu said. “It sounds like she’s in trouble!”

 

“Well, yeah, genius.” Avak said. “But we can’t go find her when we don’t have any way of getting to her! All we can do is walk and hope we’re headed in the right direction!”

 

“Y’know, it feels like this is only a literary plot to annoy readers who’ve been waiting to find out what happens to Jalina.” Nuparu said. 

 

“Don’t break the fourth wall! We could all be in mortal danger if you do that!” Hakann said.

 

“We broke it back in the first chapter, remember?” Nuparu said, standing up after stowing the remains of the bike back in his suitcase.

 

“We don’t want to break it again!”

 

“We’ve broken it in every chapter since then! Why does it matter now?”

 

“Dramatic tension, that’s why!”

 

“What dramatic tension? This is a COMEDY.”

 

“Quit it! We need to stop before the author gets bored with us and decides to change to a different grou-”

 

***

 

“Now that we’ve taken care of that cliffhanger-”

 

“Um, I’m still down here.”

 

“I wasn’t referring to you, although it is amazing that you managed to hang on during that rainstorm.”

 

“Why thank you, I feel so honored.”

 

“Now cut the sarcasm.”

 

“Sor-ry. Geez.”

 

“Anyway.” The Captain said, wiping the dust off of his gloved hands “we can get back to the matter at hand. It’s a pity it took half our forces to fight it off, though.” He continued, looking at his decimated forces pulling themselves together, some of them seemingly quite literally. He then looked down at the teenager still hanging onto the cliff below him. “Now, are you going to climb back up, or will we have to come and get you? You don’t really have any choice about staying put.” He told her. 

 

“Me? With you? Fat chance!” Jalina said, glancing around at the cliff to find a way down rather than up. “Although, it was awfully convenient that you showed up right when I happened to be alone.”

 

“Yes, we planned that. Our trap, however, didn’t work as well as we had planned. We didn’t expect two of your friends to have motorized vehicles.”

 

“You mean YOU caused the whine I heard on the radio?” Jalina asked. “I thought that was Berix’s screwdriver!”

 

“No, that was our doing. We wanted to get you alone, so that we can bring you to the boss with as little trouble as possible. He has an offer you can’t refuse.” The Captain said. “One you’re not going to refuse.” Suddenly, he reached down with an impossibly long arm and grabbed Jalina around her middle, somehow managing to pin her arms in the process. He lifted her off the sheer cliff face, suspending her over a long drop to the canyon below. “You’re officially our prisoner, and you can’t do a single thing about it.”

 

“Can I?” The girl replied with a wry smile.

 

“Nothing. We know your power is waning.”

 

“Nonsense.”

 

“Oh, really?” the Captain replied. “Then why are you still our prisoner?”

 

“Captain!” the Lieutenant called out. The Captain turned around in time to catch the flash of a blinding glare in his eyes. He immediately pulled both hands in front of his face to protect his eyes. Unfortunately, this caused him to let go of Jalina, who screamed as she plummeted into the canyon, still able to hear the faint sounds of a joining battle above her. 

 

***

 

“Well, the rain finally stopped.” Hewkii said, looking out from the cave. Behind him, Thok and Matoro, who had finally regained conscious, stood up. Matoro walked out of the cave, looking at the bubbling creek that ran near the cave. “Where do you think everyone else is?” he asked, turning and looking back at the others. 

 

“You know them.” Thok said. “They’re resourceful, and smart. I’m sure they’ll drop in sometime.”

 

“Does anyone else hear screaming?” Hewkii asked. Matoro looked around, then up. He moved completely by reflex as Jalina dropped out of the sky neatly into his arms. She flinched and looked up, surprised. 

 

“Nice catch.” Jalina said, relived. Behind them, Hewkii and Thok looked at each other. 

 

“I thought you were being sarcastic.” Hewkii said. 

 

“So did I.” Thok replied. 

 

“Jalina, care to explain why you suddenly fell out of the sky?” Matoro asked, gently setting her down. 

 

“Well, it was more like I fell off a really high cliff, but that’s a different story. Right now, I think we have bigger problems.” She said, looking back up the cliff. “You know, that cliff seemed a whole lot higher from up there.” She commented. “But that’s not important.” She looked at her friends. “Someone’s out to get this comedy.” Upon seeing the shoked faces of her friends, she quickly explained what had transpired on the cliff above to the others. “I don’t know who was fighting the cloaked figures, but we should find out.”

 

“Hey, Jalina!” They heard a voice call. All four looked to see Numi, Axonn, Berix, Jaller, Hahli, Maerek, Cybil, and Ihrax emerge from the forest. “Glad to see you’re okay. We were coming to your rescue up there when that big dark guy dropped you. By then, we were already fighting those cloaked weirdos, so we couldn’t come see if you were all right.”

 

“I’m fine.” Jalina said. “But how did you find us so fast? And what happened to the dark guys up there?”

 

“Simple. I always know where my best friend is.” Numi said. Noticing Jalina’s glare, she sighed. “Okay, so Ihrax used his teleportation powers to find you, then came back for the rest of us. But we left markers so that we could find our way back.” Numi said. “As for those cloaked weirdoes, they scattered a few minutes after we started fighting them. What was with those guys anyway?”

 

“Figures.” Jalina said. “You managed to show up RIGHT AFTER I finished telling these three. I hate it when that happens.”

 

“Sorry. Mind telling us anyway?

 

Jalina sighed began to explain to the others what had happened after they had been separated earlier in the day. Soon, the entire group was up to speed, except for one thing. “Where’s Doctor Bob?” Jalina asked. 

 

“He had that Epics contest he wanted to do. And he said something about school. He slipped away when we weren’t looking and left a note, saying that he needed to return to the Epics and work for a while on other work.” Cybil said. 

 

“So he essentially left you here for me to babysit while he worked on the Epics summer Olympics contest.” Jalina clarified. 

 

“Yeah, that about covers it.” The Vortixx replied. Jalina sighed. As if taking care of a group of toa and piraka weren’t enough.

 

“Well, now that that’s cleared up, we need to decide what to do next.” Jalina said, putting on a smile and looking around at her friends and companions. “You know what I’m talking about.” She said when she saw the other’s confused looks. “We’re missing half the crew, we’ve got almost an army of dark, cloaked figures after us, and they apparently work for some guy who wants control of this entire comedy, we still have over half a road trip to finish, and it’s not even lunchtime.”

 

“Actually, it’s 2:00 in the afternoon.” Jaller said, looking at his watch.”

 

“Whatever. Point is, things aren’t at their brightest right now.”

 

“What should we do?” Numi asked. 

 

“I think we should continue the trip, and if those dark guys come back, we kick them into next year.” Jalina said. “Who’s with me?” One by one, the group gathered into a circle and put their hands together. 

 

“This comedy just upped the ante.” Jalina said with a grin. 

 

***

 

“You FAILED to capture her?” the Dark voice boomed. In front of him, the Captain trembled in the dark. 

 

“It was not our fault! First the cliffhanger delayed us, then we were attacked by the girl’s companions!” The Captain explained. 

 

“Fancy words for you accidentally dropping her.” The Dark voice said. Somewhere in the dark chamber, a tall figure stood. “You know our task is to bring the girl in. Our parter wishes us to deal with her so that he can take the comedy. He can’t do that if the girl is still running free.”

 

“We will do better next time.” The Captain promised, steadying himself. “She will not escape again.”

 

“She better not.”

 

****************

 

 

What’s this? TWO enemies? How will the group deal with this surprise? And will the group ever get back together again?

 

Find out next time!

 

Current world count: Approx 1,770 words.


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#21 Offline Jalina T.T.

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Posted Jun 01 2013 - 04:02 PM

And another! (look, I'm doing stuff!)Road Trip 2!Chapter 11“Okay, so we’ve decided to up the ante on the comedy. NOW WHAT?” Jaller asked. The others looked around the clearing, the excitement from the group morale booster beginning to fade away.“Easy, we go back to the vehicles and get going.” Jalina said, marching off in a random direction.“J, that fall must have addled your brain.” Numi said as she dragged the enthusiastic teenager back. “One; we don’t have enough room on two vehicles for 12 people. Two; We’re still missing half the group, and Three; We don’t even know where we are!”“I have answers for all of those. One; I've gone most of this trip with 13 people on ONE vehicle, of course it's possible, we just have to go find skopio. Two; It’s likely that the others have all found each other by now, and will all stick together, so we just have to find the big group. Three; We’re somewhere in Minnesota.” Jalina said."Gee, that helps a lot." Thok muttered.“But where do we start?” Hahli asked. “It’s not like we have locators or a GPS or anything.”“Actually....” Jalina said, pulling out what happened to look like GPS. “I borrowed this from Nuparu in case we lost our vehicles in a parking lot or something. It’s a tracer that, if it actually works, will lead us right back to Skopio.” She turned it on, whereupon it began to whirr, then there was a beeping noise, and a holographic arrow appeared, pointing into the trees.“Here we go!” Jalina said, walking off.“Jalina!” Numi shouted. Jalina turned around. “Wouldn’t it be easier for us to get the vehicles we DO have now so that we don’t have to try to retrace our steps and find them later?” She asked.“Oh, good idea.” Jalina said. Numi ran off with Cybil to get the speeder and the Thornatus, while the others waited in the clearing. Soon, the others began to get bored and play Pooh-sticks with a large log and several small twigs. (Guess who used the big log.) Matoro looked over at Jalina, concerned. She had been deep in thought for the last few minutes, and had a worried look creasing her brow. He decided to make sure she was alright, or at least redirect her train of thought.
“While we’re waiting, why don’t we call the others and see where they are? They have cell phones, right?” Matoro asked.“They do, but we still won't be able to call them.” Jalina said, shaking herself out of her reverie.“Why not? Are you afraid that those cloaked guys will trace the call? Sabotage to your cell, maybe? Are you afraid that they’ll try to kidnap the others?” Matoro asked.“There’s no cell phone service up here.” Jalina replied simply.“Oh.”***Meanwhile....“Kapurkar, we’ve been walking for ages! Why haven’t we found a road yet!” vezok complained as the assembled company trooped through the bushes.“Just be patient!” Kapurkar said. “we’ll find a road, then we’ll find our vehicles. Then we can go find Jalina and the others.”"Wouldn't it be easier to find our vehicles first, THEN the road?" Avak asked."Tomato, To-mah-to. We'll find one, then find the other. Piece of cake!" Kapurkar shouted back. "I can see the future, and it's looking bright!'“Are you sure? All I see right now are a whole lot of trees.” Helen muttered."I think Kapurkar's been staring too long into a lightstone." Vezok muttered to Nuparu.“I’m sure. I’m a Toa of Transportation!” Kapurkar said proudly. “And I know we’ll find a road soon!"***“Got the vehicles!” Numi called out, returning from the forest with the speeder and the Thornatus in tow. "I still say that we can't have everyone riding on these, so those with shorter legs that won't be able to keep up can ride. We’re not going to be able to go very fast anyway, with all the bushes and stuff.”“Fantastic!” Jalina said as Berix and Marek climbed aboard the Thornatus. “We’ll find Skopio, and then we can find the others!” With that, she began to march off into the bushes again.“Hold on, you.” Numi said as she snagged Jalina by the collar and swung her onto the Thornatus. “You’re riding.”“Oh come on! I’m not short!” Jalina protested, despite the really obvious fact that she was indeed short.“Are too!”“Am not!”“Are too!”“Am not!”“Are too!”“D2!” a faint voice in the forest shouted. Jalina and Numi broke off their argument and looked around, confused.“Did you hear that?”“Yeah. Probably just a weird echo or something.”***“What was that about?” Avak asked when Kapurkar suddenly stopped and, seemingly for no reason, shouted “D2!”“Sorry.” Kapurkar said. “I just had a sudden urge to complete the other half of a family joke.”“Which is normal in this comedy?” X-Ray asked.“Yeah. Don't worry, it probably won’t happen again."***Several hours later, after much traipsing through bushes, underbrush, tangled brushes, and hairbrushes (Don’t ask) Jalina's group emerged onto a hillside overlooking a large metropolis.“Where are we?” Thok asked. "And how did we manage to come out of a forest in the middle of nowhere RIGHT NEXT TO A HUGE CITY?"Jalina looked at the finder. “According to this, Minneapolis, Minnesota.” She said, conveniently ignoring Thok's other question. Not wanting to clog up the streets anymore than they already were by normal traffic, everyone uncomfortably piled onto the speeder and the Thornatus."How do you manage to fit 13 people on one Skopio? We can't even manage it on two vehicles?" Numi asked, exasperated.""Hey, we used to do it with a Fennrahk spider." Jalina told her."...How...""I'll never tell."After several minutes of downtown traffic, the group pulled into a parking lot near a (To put it mildly) large building.“Mall of America?” Berix asked incredulously. “Why would Skopio be at Mall of America?”“Who cares? We can go ride the log flume!” Hahli said, forgetting entirely about the current plight.“I suppose we can take a little time for sightseeing...” Jalina started, but stopped when she realized the others were already headed into the mall. She shook her head and sighed. “Or maybe a lot of time for sightseeing.”***“Are we there yet?” Kongu asked. The group has fought their way through the trees for several hours before realizing it was much easier to walk on the clear forest floor. The others int the group were beginning to grow tired, and slightly cranky.“I’m sure there’s a road right around...” Kapurkar began, then stopped as he did a marvelous face-plant into the pavement. “HERE!” he exclaimed, slightly muffled by the road.“Fantastic!” the others exclaimed as they fell to the ground in relief. “Now can we sit for a minute?”“Sure! Hey, I’ve finally got cell phone service up here!” Kapurar said, standing up and checking his phone. “Now I can just call Jalina!”***“What? You finally found your way out of the woods?” Jalina said, sitting on a bench as she watched Hahli, Jaller, Axonn and Berix go on the log flume for the fifth time. “Good. We’re at the Mall of America right now.”“How’d you get there!?” Kapurkar yelled over the phone, nearly blasting out the ears (or auditory receptors) of both Jalina and his compatriates.“ We had a finder that can lead us to Skopio, so we just followed it and it led us here. We think he’s around here somewhere. Why don’t you come meet us here?”“We’ll do that.” Kapurkar said. “See you in a bit.”“See ya.” Jalina said, closing her phone. “of course, knowing his sense of direction, they might not make it until next week....”***“Well, I know where the others are now.” Kapurkar said, turning to the exausted group. “Let’s start walking! We’re headed to Mall of America!”***“Now that you guys have had your fun,” Jalina said, looking at Numi and the others “We’re going to go find Skopio.” She turned on the finder again and began walking. Several minutes later, the group found themselves in the Lego store, with the finder pointing right at a Skopio box on a lower shelf.“Well, that can’t be right.” Jalina said, scratching her head. “I’m going to have to talk to Nuparu about his inventions.”“Does this mean we can go ride the Ferris wheel again?” Marek asked hopefully.“Sorry guys, but we really do need to get going.” Jalina said to many groans. “We’re going to go wait in the parking lot for Kapurkar and the others, and then we’re going to figure out what we’re going to do next.” She said, leading the group back to the parking lot. “We’ll start by...” She started, but stopped when she looked at the parking lot. There, curled up next to the Thornatus and Numi’s speeder, was Skopio.“Well, that turned out lucky,” Hewkii said, walking right up to Skopio. “Where’ve you been, boy?”“OK, so it kind of worked.” Jalina said. “Let’s get ready to go, and I’ll call Kapurkar asking where we should meet them.”Numi, Axonn and Berix climbed back on their speeder, while Cybil, Marek, and Ihrax climbed into the Thornatus. Jalina, Hahli, Jaller, Thok, Matoro, and Hewkii climbed back on to Skopio. No sooner was everyone seated than Skopio took off again, with the Thornatus and Speeder soon racing behind.“Well, there goes that idea.” Jalina muttered, hanging on for dear life for the third time that day. “I guess we’ll just catch up with Kapurkar when we catch up with him."***“Are we there yet?” Kongu asked.“Not yet.” Kapurkar said. The group had been walking for hours, with almost no progress. Helen stopped short, a sudden thought coming to mind.“Kapurkar?” She asked.“Yeah?”“Aren’t you a Toa of Transportation?” She asked.“I am? ...I mean, I am! Yes!” Kapurkar stammered, realizing that he had completely forgotten is own abilites. He began to wave his hands in the air. “Shall I conjure up a D-70? A Cascade Starliner? What?” He asked.“Kapurkar, we can’t do a train.”“Why not?”“No tracks.” Helen pointed out.“Oh.” Kapurkar said. “I guess it’s a couple of vans, then.” He pulled his hands down, and two eight-seater Suburbans appeared out of nowhere. “I still say a train would have been cool.” He sulked.“Maybe next time.” Helen said, swinging into the drivers seat of the suburban. “Now everyone in! We’ve got friends to catch up with!” Everyone piled into the cars eagerly, glad to be rid of walking. Once everyone was in and buckled, Helen turned the key. Nothing happened.“Kapurkar, you forgot to add gas.” Helen sighed. Kapurkar, sitting in the passenger seat, snapped his fingers.“Try now.” He said. Helen turned the key again, and the engine roared to life. “Let’s go!” She cried, shifting out of park and hitting the gas. The suburban took off, while X-Ray, driving the other car, soon followed. Soon, both cars were lost in the growing darkness. 



Edited by Jalina T.T., Jul 10 2013 - 11:39 PM.

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#22 Offline Neelh

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Posted Jun 05 2013 - 02:31 PM

I cannot believe that I neglected to acknowledge this comedy's existence for this long! Ah well, it can't be helped.

 

So there are some grammatical errors, but nothing like a common misspelling of satin, so it's okay there.

 

It seems we also neglected to mention that I am not yet of the legal driving age. XD Also, did I really choose pink? It it too late to retcon everything to red/blue?


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Taipu still won't love me.

tumblr_mn04u212Bs1rlaa4qo1_r1_500.png

 

taipu

i love you

love me back

my darling taipu


#23 Offline Jalina T.T.

Jalina T.T.
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Posted Jul 05 2013 - 06:01 PM

[color=#0000ff;][font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"]Don't worry, Neelh. Kapurkar's of driving age, but he STILL doesn't have his liscense.As for the color thing; I'm sure I can work something out.So I was talking to an author friend about ideas and stuff, and she said that I have too many ideas that I never finish. I said I wanted to finish this before I started on anything else. So without further ado, here's the next chapter of RT2!(seriously, I've got a whole backload of story ideas. I'm just horrible with procrastination...)[/color][/font]Road Trip 2!Part 12: A Toa’s worst fear OR How Jalina fails at reading maps.The sun was shining, the trees were green, and the wind was blowing. Of course, it was hard for Jalina to tell if the wind was blowing because she was hanging onto a raging Skopio for dear life. And Skopio can go pretty fast when they want to.When this road trip is over, she thought, clinging to the currently-useless reins. I am going to have a LONG talk with the rental company. Fennrahk would never have acted up like this...“Jalina! is there any way we can slow down a little?” Matoro called over the rushing air. “I think Thok’s starting to get carsick!”Eventually, They were able to slow Skopio down enough to pull over at a rest area, and not a moment too soon. As soon as they halted, Thok leaped off, ran to the side of the road, and bent over a bush. As Numi and Cybil drove up, he emerged, his white face somehow looking even paler.“You okay?” Jalina asked, fastening the reins tighter on the anxious beast.“I’m fine.” Thok said weakly. Numi dismounted her speeder and walked over to Jalina.“Soooo....” Numi said, leaning against a tree, well away from the unfortunate bush. “Where too now?”“Since every attempt so far to reconnect with the others has gone...badly,” Jalina said “We’ll just have to keep going and hope they catch up eventually."“Sounds good. So where are we off to now?”“Let me check my map...” Jalina said, pulling a map out of a side pocket of her bag. She began to unfold it, spreading it out as she went.Twenty-five folds later....“Geez, Jalina, how big is this map?” Jaller asked as the map was spread over Skopio, draped over the other side, and onto the parking lot“I didn’t think it was this big!” Jalina replied, looking over the map. Then she saw one corner of it. “Oh! This isn’t the road map! This is the map I use to plot the story!”“That explains why most of it is blank.” Berix sniggered."Oh hardy har-har” Jalina said, quickly folding the paper back up and sticking it in her bag. “Let me find the real map. It’s nowhere near as big as this one.”“As long as it’s not Life-size.” Numi said as Jalina rummaged in the bag for the map. The others wathced with amusement as she dug deeper and deeper. Finally withdrawing it, she quickly unfolded it and began to trace a line on the paper.“Okay, we've somehow managed to cross over into Wisconsin since we left. Somewhere near...dang, I can’t read this, the map somehow got smudged. It’s Something-ton, but I can’t tell what it says.” Jalina said, squinting at the map.“Well, it can’t be any worse than where we’ve been already. Let’s go!” Hewkii replied, jumping back onto Skopio. Jalina glanced at Numi, then mounted the beast herself.“He’s probably right." Matoro pointed out. "We just got attacked by a horde of shadowy, cloaked guys who are after us. That means that nothing else is probably going to happen to us for a while.”***“Are we...”“Don’t you dare start, Hewkii.” Jalina yelled over her shoulder. “It’s bad enough that Kongu says it every single day. Before we even start moving!”“Sorry,” he said, scrunching down in his seat. “I was just curious.”“Well, the next town should be just around the corner...” Jalina said. Sure enough, as they rounded the corner, they saw a happy little hamlet, with a large wooden sign next to the road. The sign said ‘Welcome to Appleton!”
“Oh NO...” Hahli groaned, holding her head in her hands. Behind her, at the mere sight of the sign, Hewkii began to cower in his seat. Everyone else on the Skopio glared at the driver.“Hey, you can’t blame me this time!” Jalina protested. “I had no Idea this was Appleton! I told you, the map was smudged!”“Is it too late to turn around and find another road?” Axonn called from Numi’s speeder.“Sadly, yes.” Jalina said as they hit the town limits and had to slow down. “I’d pull a U-turn, but traffic’s to thick to do it.” She said as she steered Skopio along the streets. The reason for the heavy traffic was soon revealed in a sea of orange cones and yellow hard hats.“Construction? In the middle of town? on a SATURDAY? Seriously?” Marek said, standing on Iharax’s head to see ahead. “How does that work?”“No idea.” Jalina said. She looked around and saw a grocery store. “Hey, how about we grab something to eat for dinner before we hit the road again?”“Yes, Please!” Cybil said. “it’s been a long day. Didn’t we start in South Dakota this morning?”“Yeah, but that’s what happens when the author forgets to end the day.” Iharax pointed out, Oblivious to Jalina's glare from the other vehicle.“Can we go inside already? I’m starving!” Berix said.“Hi starving.” Numi joked, pulling over to the curb and cutting the engine, as Jalina and Iharax did the same. Everyone piled off their respective vehicles and trooped into the store. After several minutes, Jalina emerged from the store with a few bags of groceries (Having lost her other bags in the woods several hours ago) to set them carefully in the cargo hold Skopio carried. Behind her, Jaller and Hahli emerged, sharing some ice cream.“It looks like traffic is finally clearing up.” Jalina said. "We should finally make it to the hotel..." Then she turned around. “Strange. Didn’t we park here earlier?” She asked, looking around. Sure enough, Skopio, Numi’s speeder, and the Thornatus were gone from their parking spaces. The others emerged from the store and looked around. 

“There they are! All the way down there!” Axonn said, pointing to the far end of the street. “I guess we’ll have to walk down there.”“Hey, where did Hewkii go?” Jalina asked, looking at the store behind her.“I hope he’s all right. As long as he didn’t run into the produce section...” Thok said. Just then, Hewkii emerged from the store, carrying a plastic bag of food..“Hey guys, sorry I got held up.” He said. “Let’s get going, I want to get out of here.” He turned abruptly and began walking, only to run straight into a light post. The others winced as Hewkii stepped back, shuddering from the impact. “I’m okay!” he stutteredOnce Hewkii had recovered, they began walking again. As they walked down the street, Hewkii pulled an apple from his bag and began to play with it. He turned around suddenly and threw it. "Hey Jaller, catch!" Jaller reached up, but the apple went sailing over his hand and bounced off Berix's head."Ow!" Berix complained, rubbing the sore spot on his head.“Sorry!" Hewkii called back, turning around and walking on. As they continued walking again, Jalina gave a subtle nod to Numi. Numi pulled out a whip that crackled with electricity as she slowly unwound it. As quick as the lightning that covered the whip, she sent it flying forward, tripping Hewkii and making him fall to the pavement. No sooner had he turned over than he found seven blades pointed at his mask.“Who are you and what have you done with Hewkii!” Jaller growled, inches from Hewkii’s mask.“What are you talking about?” Hewkii asked, exasperated. "It's like you..."“You know what I’m talking about.” Jaller replied, knocking the mask off with a swipe of his hand. Underneath, instead of a glowing face, a dark, hooded head emerged from the torso.“How’d you know?” The cloaked figure asked.“First of all, you threw an apple at me. Hewkii's scared to death of apples. Second, when you threw it, you missed. Hewkii wears the mask of accuracy. He NEVER misses." Jaller growled into his face. "And neither do we." He continued, raising his blade.“I’ll take care of this one.” Jalina said, gently grabbing the figure from Jaller's grip and dragging him into an alleyway. A minute later, she emerged alone.“Whad’you do?” Numi asked, confused and worried.“Threw our followers off the trail.” Was all Jalina would say.“Hey, How’d you know that it wasn’t really Hewkii?” Marek asked, having missed the entire conversation due to seeing butterfly.“Easy. He picked up an apple. The real Hewkii has Malusdomesticaphobia.” Matoro said.“Does that mean he’s afraid of a domestic Malus?” Berix asked.“That means he’s deathly afraid of apples.” Hahli explained. “Therefore, he wouldn’t go near an apple, let alone pick one up. Remember how he cowered when he saw the sign?”“And speaking of, where’s the real Hewkii?” Cybil asked. Everyone froze as the realization came over them.“They can’t have taken him too far. Where would a Toa of Stone be most out of place?” Jalina asked.“The swimming pool.” Hahli said. “What? Everyone knows toa of stone can’t swim, especially Hewkii.” She said, looking at the others.“Then let’s go find him.”"...wait, didn't Macku give him swimming lessons?""They were mostly lessons in floating. Swimming's another matter.""Oh."***“Here’s the pool!” Thok said later as they pulled up in front of the building. The building was closed, but that didn’t deter the group as they sneaked through an open window."Why is the pool closed on a saturday?" Axonn asked."If you haven't noticed, it's almost eight." Jalina pointed out. "This day seems to be dragging on forever.“Where is he?” Berix asked, looking around the spacious pool area.“Down there!” Iharax yelled. Sure enough, at the bottom of the deep end was a clear box, with Hewkii banging around inside, desperately trying to escape. Before anyone could blink, Hahli, Jalina and Axonn had dove in and quickly swam to the bottom of the pool. They could see Hewkii’s pleading eyes as he silently begged to be set free, his fists banging on the side of the box. They all jumped in unison as a small cracked appeared in the box, and water began to seep in.Axonn pulled out his axe and set it in the crack, trying to break open the box as increasingly water began to trickle, then pour in. Finally, when the box was almost full, Axonn broke a wall loose, and the girls grabbed him and rocketed to the surface.All four emerged from the pool, gasping and sputtering. It quickly turned out to be a happy, and soaking wet, reunion.“Now that we’re all back together,” Marek said. “can we leave town now?”“Let’s.” Jalina said, and they all snuck back out the window and back to the parking lot.“Can we end this day when we reach the next town? I’m exhausted.” Cybil asked.“I won’t argue with you one bit.” Jalina replied. “Let’s head south. I’m sure there isn’t a town too far from here.”***In another part of town, a small, cloaked figure emerged from an alleyway. He gathered himself, and set off, heading north, determined to catch the group at all costs.***“She’s smarter than she looks.” The deep voice said. A smaller figure stepped down from his chair and over to the other.“She needs to be eliminated, If I am to take over.” It said, small, yet more menacing than any had heard. “She can’t be controlled, even by you. She’s too strong.”“We shall see about that. I have already begun to succeed...”


Edited by Jalina T.T., Jul 05 2013 - 06:05 PM.

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Defy Expectations


#24 Offline Jalina T.T.

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Posted Jul 10 2013 - 11:43 PM

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][color=#0000ff;]Another! (Also, I can't believe I mixed up St. Paul and Minneapolis. Totally lame, especially for someone going there herself next week. It's fixed now.)[/color][/font]

 

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][color=#0000ff;]I would also really appreciate some feedback, guys. Are the chapters too long and complicated? Not funny enough? Pie? please let me know![/color][/font]

 

 

 

Road Trip 2!

 

Chatper 13: On the Road Again OR How to Succeed in Thwarting Without Really Trying.

 

 

“Kapurkar, are we there yet?” Kongu asked for the fifth time that day. Or rather, the fifth time in an hour. Indeed the group had, upon entering the city, encountered one of the most horrid, despicable, yet unavoidable terrors known to humankind. 

 

Rush hour. 

 

“No, we’re not there yet!” Karpurkar grumbled from his cramped position in front passenger seat. “We’ve barely moved ten feet in the past ten minutes!”

 

“I can’t believe traffic is so horrible. Even on a Saturday.” Zaktan buzzed, curled up in the backseat. 

 

“I don’t know what you guys are talking about. Everything seems just fine.” Helen said, tapping her fingers on the wheel. 

 

“Take off those rose-colored glasses, girl and really look at the world.” Nuparu muttered.  He was squished between Kongu and Reidak in the furthest back seats, and was really quite uncomfortable. 

 

“Thanks for the idiom, but I still don’t see what you’re talking about.” Helen replied. 

 

“What he means,” Kapurkar said, reaching across. “Is really take off those rose-colored glasses of yours.” He pulled the glasses off Helen’s face, and she blinked several times, then squinted at the traffic. 

 

“Oh, now I see.”

 

“Was that a pun?” Reidak asked. 

 

***

An hour later, The group had finally arrived at the Mall of America, the largest and most famous mall in the country, perhaps even the world. The group disembarked from the vans, which vanished into the air with a snap of Kapurkar’s fingers. The others gave him curious looks. 

 

“What?” he asked in response. “It’s easier than trying to remember where I parked!” He scanned the parking lot, which coincidentally held a large number of cars which looked similar to the Suburbans they had driven in. “I don’t see Skopio anywhere.”

 

“I can’t see anything anywhere.” X-ray said. He looked around a little more, then adjusted the lens on his bionic eye. “There we go.” He said satisfactorily. “But I suspect the others are still inside the mall. We’ll have to go inside in order to find them.”

 

“Do we really have to?” Kapurkar asked. “If we go in there, we’re never going to get everyone out before closing, whenever that is. I’d rather just wait for Jalina out here.” 

 

“True, but remember who she’s with. She could be having trouble pulling them out as well.” X-ray noted. “We might as well go in and find them. 

 

Kapurkar let out a long sigh, trying to see a way out of going inside. “I suppose we can go in...”

 

“Can we go ride on the Ferris Wheel?”

 

***

Inside the Mall, a cloaked figure loitered in the food court, absentmindedly playing with a french fry. He dipped it into his milkshake, then happily munched on it. He lazily glanced around the mall, enjoying his post. Getting to hang around a famous mall all day was nowhere near as bad as, say, tromping through the woods after crazed animals. All around him, whiny kids begged for another ride on the carousel or for an extra-special kids meal as weary adults tried to soothe them. Teenagers happily chatted away about boys and the latest styles while texting on their phones. A lazy odor hung in the air, of frying food and baking bread. 

 

The cloaked figure glanced down to the ground floor, then jumped to his feet as he spied the group of teenagers, toa, and piraka that had just walked through one of the many entrances. Already, the group was beginning to scatter, easily distracted by the rides and the nearby stores. He smiled underneath his dark hood. His mission just became much easier, and hung thick with an even bigger reward.

 

***

Down on the ground floor, Kapurkar was desperately trying to keep the group together, and failing miserably. Most of the piraka were drawn by the amazing rides that made up the amusement park in the mall of America, while Avak and Nuparu were drawn to a nearby science store. Kongu wandered over to a snack booth, and X-Ray and his girlfriend headed to the food court with Helen and Kopaka. Soon, Kapurkar was standing by himself with Tahu in the middle of the mall. 

 

“I wonder where Jalina could be.” He said. “I don’t see any of the others around here.” He reached into his backpack and pulled out his phone, dialing his sister’s number. He was quite surprised when the call went straight to voicemail. “I wonder why she let her battery die...” He said, sitting down on a bench. Tahu sat next to him, taking in the sights of the mall. 

 

What Kapurkar didn’t know was that Jalina, knowing that she wouldn’t be able to hear her phone over the wind, had turned her phone off after Skopio fled the parking lot about 15 minutes before they arrived. Of course, she had forgotten to turn it back on later. 

 

“Well, there’s not much we can do about it now.” Tahu said, watching Zaktan and Hakann board the ferris wheel. “Although I don’t really understand how these guys can have so much energy after that long hike through the woods.”

 

“It’s an amusement park. Rides always give them energy.” Kapurkar said. “It’ll help them keep quiet during the car ride later.”

 

“As long as we don’t end up in a montage of hilarious things happening to the weird shadowy guy tailing us, I think we’ll be fine.”

 

***

That is, of course, exactly what happened. 

 

It started with X-ray, his girlfriend, Kopaka and Helen in the food court. Having disposed of his empty drink and half-eaten fries, the cloaked figure shadowed them as they stopped at a vendor and ordered something that resembled an evening meal. As they moved away, an enormous group of people happened to pass between them. By the time the crowd had cleared, the trio was nowhere in sight. Grumbling, the figure made to move to the stairs, when he tripped over a girl’s many, many shopping bags. caught in a full-tilt fall down the stairs, he found himself landing in a janitor’s garbage bin, which was soon rolled into a back room and out of sight. 

 

The next attempt came in the science store where Avak and Nuparu were “examining” one of the exhibits, which was about electricity. Somehow going unnoticed by the employees, they had gained access to the wires and began playing with them. Behind them, the shadowy figure, with a couple of food stains on his cloak, had begun to sneak up on them, moving silently across the black padding on the floor. Just then, Avak and Nuparu, defying the laws of science, managed to send an electric charge through the padding, which of course was conduced directly into the hoodlum’s body. He lit up like a fireworks display, his skeleton showing against the flashing colors. Avak and Nuparu disconnected the wires, not having seen anything odd in the slightest, and reassembled the display unconcerned. They walked out, treading on the charred lump that was the figure on the floor in the process. 

 

“Did you hear something?” Avak asked, as the lump let out a moan. 

 

“Nah. Probably just the padding settling.” Nuparu said, walking ahead. 

 

Later on, The shadowy figure had recovered and was standing in line for the roller coaster, just behind the remaining Piraka. They all managed to board the same coaster, and they were off, spinning and twisting and turning. Behind the Piraka, the cloaked figure was beginning to regret eating so much at the food court. Finally, the ride ended, and the Piraka happily disembarked. The cloaked figure made to follow, but his restraints would not release, despite all attempts to escape their grip. Before he could catch the attention of an attendant, the ride was off again, accompanied by moans from the figure as he lost his prey, and fought losing his lunch. 

 

His final attempt came, after he had finally gotten off the ride. The group had reassembled and were heading toward the exit. The figure quickly followed, eager not to lose his prey. They were fifty feet ahead, going through the doors... He was almost there...and never knew what hit him as the doors locked automatically, shutting him inside as the others walked away. 

 

He stumbled to a bench in the now-empty mall. Maybe this wasn’t such a plum assignment as he thought.

 

***

Outside, the group was standing on the sidewalk, watching the parking lot jam as car after car pulled out. Once the traffic had cleared, Kapurkar summoned the vans again, complete with gas, and everyone piled in. With Helen and X-Ray driving, they left the parking lot and set out to find a hotel for the night. 

 

“I wonder why nothing of important action happen to us today.” Kopaka commented. 

 

“Probably because the author’s tired and wants to end the day already.” Vezok said. 

 

 

 

“...Nah, that can’t be right.”


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Defy Expectations


#25 Offline Neelh

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Posted Jul 11 2013 - 11:48 AM

"This day seems to be dragging on forever.

 

Long enough for you to forget the quotation mark at the end? :P


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Taipu still won't love me.

tumblr_mn04u212Bs1rlaa4qo1_r1_500.png

 

taipu

i love you

love me back

my darling taipu


#26 Offline Jalina T.T.

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Posted Jul 13 2013 - 10:22 AM

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][color=#0000ff;]Quick note on this one, and the next few: these were written around specific times (Specifically, Christmas and my Brother's birthday) and I'm NOT going to wait until said times to post these again, or this comedy will never end. So heads up.[/color][/font]

 

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][color=#0000ff;]And this is the last chapter before I head off on vacation! (Ironically, a route extremely similar to the first part of this trip, minus the mess in the woods.) I'll still be updating during the trip; it just might be a little longer between chapters.[/color][/font]

 

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][color=#0000ff;]I realized while I was editing a chapter that I never said if the BIONICLE characters were life-sized or not. Obviously, the comedy as written as they were, but feel free to imagine it as if they were toy-sized. It makes certain parts of the comedy a LOT funnier.[/color][/font]

 

 

 

Road Trip 2!

 

Chapter 14: Feliz Navidad OR How many alliterations are in this chapter?

 

“Jalina!” Numi shouted from behind her, causing Jalina to spill the cup of cocoa next to her computer, the mug shattering to pieces on the floor. “When are you going to update Road Trip 2? You said you would start again at the start of December! It’s the 28th! Why Haven’t you updated?!”

 

“Numi,” Jalina sighed, absentmindedly reaching for the tissues she kept under the desk. “I’ve been busy working on that stupid English speech for the last two weeks of school, then I took a weeklong vacation with my family. I haven’t been near my computer, and I’ve been busy!” She continued, mopping up the cocoa that now covered the desk, but miraculously hadn’t reached the computer.

 

“Busy playing Legend of Zelda, sure.” Numi said, completely ignoring the sopping mess of papers on Jalina’s desk and picking up her DS. “That’s NO EXCUSE!” She screamed, tossing the DS onto Jalina’s bed, which also held a couple of books and a stuffed dog.

 

“...Alright, I’ll write the next chapter.” Jalina sighed, lobbing the soaked tissues over the printer and into her trash can. “But it won’t be what you expect, I can guarantee that.”

 

“And why’s that?” Numi asked, shoving a couple shirts off a chair and sitting down. 

 

“Well, for one, you just ruined the sheet of paper I use to keep track of the cast.” Jalina said, holding up a cocoa-soaked paper. 

 

“...Oops.”

 

***

“Jalina, do you have any idea where we’re going next?” Hahli asked, sitting down on the hotel room’s double bed. After a couple more hours of dogged travel, the weary travelers checked into a quiet hotel off the freeway. As soon as the group had dismounted, Skopio had collapsed, deeply asleep. Numi was sharing a room with Hahli and Jalina, while the others paired up into their own rooms. 

 

“Honestly, I don’t have a clue.” Jalina said, setting her suitcase on the floor in the closet. “That wild traipse through the woods kinda threw things off. I’ll take a look at the map tomorrow, and try to call Kapurkar again.” She said, pulling her cell out of the small backpack she kept with her at all times. “Huh, I forgot to turn it back on. Oh well, I don’t think I could have missed anything important.”

 

“I, for one, am ready for bed.” Numi said, coming out of the bathroom with a toothbrush. “By the way, there’s a random toothbrush in here for some reason. I think the last occupant left it.

 

“Just throw it. I’ll talk to the hotel about their cleaning staff.” Jalina said, turning around. “Why were you in the bathroom, anyway?”

 

“Leaky faucet.” Numi said, stretching out on the other bed. “It was going to drive me nuts all night.” She reached behind her and plumped her pillow, then stared at the ceiling. “Man, it’s been a wild day.”

 

“Not as wild as that one time in Seattle. Remember, right around Christmas?” Hahli said, flipping through the hotel guide. 

 

“Oh yeah!” Jalina said. “I had completely forgotten about that.”

 

“Your memory is as leaky as that faucet.” Numi laughed. “I remember it like it was yesterday...”

 

 

***

 

“Are we there yet?” Kongu asked as Fenrakk trundled up the freeway, hauling eight toa, six piraka, and a tired teenager up to Seattle, known to most of them as “the City of Coffee.”

 

“Look!” Kapurkar yelled, pointing at the building off the freeway. “There’s a STARBUCKS!”

 

“LATTES!” Everyone except Jalina shouted. All of the piraka proceeded to mime drinking, complete with slurping sounds. Which annoyed Kapurkar to no end. 

 

“Do you guys have to do that EVERY TIME we pass a Starbucks?” Jalina asked from the driver’s seat, steering Fenrakk past a semi-truck.

 

“Pretty much, yeah.” Kapurkar grinned from behind her. “Hey, they like it!”

 

“It’s annoying.” Jalina protested. “Did you HAVE to teach it to them?” Kapurkar had been on the ‘Ducks of Seattle’ on a previous visit, where he had learned the annoying habit. Minus the slurping, of course.

 

“Yes,” Kapurkar honestly replied.

 

“Look, as long as this ragtag bunch of misfits behaves,” Jalina said, gesturing the the back of the spider “We’ll be okay. Although I don’t think the slurping thing is going to help matters.”

 

“Hey! I didn’t teach them that!”

 

“Yeah, but you taught them the first part.”

 

 “Whatever. I’m sure nothing disastrous will happen while we’re there.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

“...You realize you probably just jinxed us.”

 

“Yeah...”

 

***“Ah, Seattle, the Emerald City.” Matoro said, gazing at the city skyline as the troupe stood on the deck of the ferry from Bremerton to Seattle. It night had fallen by the time they had reached the ferry station, and the skyline was alight with colorful lights, and the shores of the Sound were permeated with the twinkling Christmas lights of the houses along the river. The stiff breeze of the Sound flew into the faces of those on deck, causing them to squint against the occasional gust of wind. 

 

“I don’t see any green palaces anywhere.” Reidak said, looking around. 

 

“Not that Emerald City.” Matoro said over the wind. 

 

“We should be there soon,” Jaller said. “Just as long as no one sinks the-”

 

“DON’T SAY IT!” The entire deck screamed.

 

***

The next day (Yes, I’m skipping over the night. Do you want to get to the plot or not?) The group drove into the city, eager to see the sights and sounds of Seattle. After piling off of Fenrakk, Nuparu pulled out a small ray gun and shrunk Fenrakk to a manageable size, small enough to fit into Matoro’s backpack. “Where to first?” Nuparu asked after stowing his ray gun. 

 

“How about the Seattle Science Center and Space Needle?” Jalina asked, picking up an ad from a nearby kiosk. “It looks like a lot of fun. There’s also EMP and SFM across the way.” She said, walking to the edge of the street. “Let’s go!”

 

After the light changed, the group crossed the street and headed to Seattle Center, unaware of the large figure that watched them from a distance. The group was awed by the Christmas decorations that covered the area, and the winter festivities that were taking place in one of the buildings. 

 

“Lunch was great!” Zaktan said later as the group left the pavilion. “Although it was a bit expensive.  And there’s a STARBUCKS!”

 

“LATTES!” 

 

“Slurp!” 

 

“Will you cut that out!”

 

“Hey, Where’d Hahli go?” Jaller said, looking behind him.

 

“She probably had to go grab an extra drink or something.” Numi said. “You guys go ahead; I’ll wait for her here and we’ll catch up with you guys later.” She sat on the bench and pulled out a piece of paper that she began fiddling with. 

 

“Alright, if that suits you.” Jalina said, turning to face the Space needle. “We’re heading up to the Space Needle. We’ll meet you up at the top, okay?”

 

“See you later.” Numi said, playing with the paper, which was already in the shape of a swan.

 

After leaving Numi to wait for Hahli, the others trudged up the hill to the Space Needle. “Have you heard of the Needle Wheedle?” Kapurkar asked as they neared the doors, next to a man dressed as Santa who was supposed to be greeting children. “Apparently some guy wrote a book about a Wheedle on a needle. It’s pretty interesting.”

 

“Shouldn’t Numi and Hahli have caught up with us by now?” Hewkii asked, looking around. “It only took us a few minutes to get up here, and the lines back in the Center  weren’t that long. And It’s kind of hard to get lost on the way up here.”

 

“It is kind of strange.” Vezok said, looking back down the hill. “Let’s just go inside. That Santa guy is giving me the creeps.” He said. Hewkii noticed that the Santa was indeed staring at them with a weird look. With a shrug, Hewkii opened the doors and let the others in, closing it behind him. 

 

“Wow. They certainly have a big gift shop. Do you think Jalina would like that Lego model over there? Kapurkar asked, pointing to a Lego model of the Space needle that was on display. 

 

“Where is Jalina?” Matoro asked. “She was right behind...” His sentence was cut off as everyone looked toward the doors, right as they heard a loud yelp. “...Us.” He finished as the remaining group rushed for the doors again. When they got outside, Jalina was nowhere to be seen.

 

“Shanghaied in Seattle!” Thok said. Then he gasped “That would make an AWESOME movie title!”

 

The group looked around wildly. Hewkii noticed the creepy Santa from earlier hurrying down the hill, carrying a bulging bag that seemed to be...

 

“THERE!” Hewkii shouted, pointing down the hill. “That Santa guy kidnapped her!”

 

“You’re joking, right?” Vezok asked. “How do you even know if you’re right?

 

“Jalina’s missing, and there’s a creepy guy running away from the scene of the crime with a bulging bag. It doesn’t take a master’s degree!” Hewkii shouted, sprinting down the hill after the Santa. The others followed behind, jumping over benches and garbage cans, oblivious to the commotion and shouting that began behind them.

 

At the bottom of the hill, the secret Santa climbed into a sleigh parked along the road, with two other santas inside. The Santa tossed his bag into the back, where it fell onto two other bulging bags. One of the other santas started up the sleigh, minus reindeer, and drove off as if it were a car. By the time the group had reached the curb, the sleigh was gone. 

 

“They must also have Hahli and Numi!” Kongu exclaimed. 

 

“How come it’s always the girls that get captured?” Jaller asked. 

 

“Because if they kidnapped the guys, there would only be about three characters left to continue the story?” Thok replied with a shrug. Their conversation went unnoticed by the other characters as they pondered how to continue the pursuit. Suddenly, Nuparu had and idea. 

 

Nuparu pulled out his ray gun and zapped Fenrakk, who had emerged from the backpack to find out what all the ruckus was about. No sooner than when he reached full size, the group scrambled on and roared off after the sleigh. They careened through the streets, swerving to miss cars and trucks as they desperately tried to keep the sleigh in sight.  Soon they found themselves flying down roller-coaster hill, one of the steepest streets in the city. It was also the one that seemed to be plagued with the most traffic lights. 

 

“Red light!”

 

“Green light, go!”

 

“Red light!”

 

“Green light!”

 

“Red Light!”

 

“STARBUCKS!”

 

“LATTES!”

 

“Slurp!”

 

“WIll YOU STOP THAT!”

 

Eventually, they reached the bottom of the hill, and continued their chase, swinging wide around the corner. After being stopped by a couple more traffic lights, They zoomed down the street, until...

 

“Not ANOTHER red light!” Avak moaned. 

 

“Look, it turned green! Let’s go!” Kapurkar shouted, pointing at the light, However, no sooner than they started moving, when...

 

DING DING DING!

 

“Railroad crossing!” Zaktan buzzed angrily. “Now we’ll NEVER catch up to them!”

 

The group could only sit and wait for the train to pass. They hoped that the santas had also been stopped by red lights, that they weren’t moving, that they could catch up to them and save their friends...

 

The train, a Sounder, came roaring past the crossing and was gone in a flash. 

 

“That was a super short Seattle Sounder.” Kapurkar said. “It only consisted of two cars!”

 

In no time, the crossing guards raised, and the group continued their pursuit of the mysterious santas. However, the santas apparently knew Seattle better than the others, for they were soon lost. 

 

“Great, we lost them!” Reidak grumbled as Fenrakk trundled up a street. “Now we’ll never find them.”

 

“Don’t worry.” Hewkii said, as they passed under the Freemont bridge. “I’m sure they’ll turn up eventually.” Hewkii, the one driving, didn’t notice the secret Santa's sleigh round the corner in front of him. By the time he did notice, it was too late. The two vehicles collided, spilling their passengers all over the road. Hewkii was the first one on his feet, and raced over and grabbed one of the santas.

 

“Why did you kidnap our friends?” Hewkii shouted into the dazed and bewildered Santa's face. “Tell us!” At the same time, Nuparu staggered over to one of the bags and pulled it open, revealing...

 

“Empty candy cane boxes?” Hakann asked, looking over Nuparu’s shoulder into the bag. “We pursued these guys over empty boxes?”

 

“Well, if the girls aren’t here, then where...?” Kapurkar started to ask, but was interrupted by his cell phone ringing. He pulled it out and answered it, putting it on speaker in the process. “Hello?”

 

“Kapurkar, where are you guys?” Jalina asked from the other end of the line.

 

“Jalina! Thank goodness you’re alright! Have they hurt you? Did they bind and gag you and...”

 

“Hold on, hold on!” Jalina said. “What are you talking about?”

 

“...Where are you?” Was all the confused Kapurkar could say. 

 

“...I’m at the space needle with Hahli and Numi.” Jalina said, looking over at the two, both enjoying steaming cups of hot chocolate. “Where are YOU guys?”

 

“Uhh....”

 

“Apparently, it does take a master’s degree.” Thok sniggered.

 

***

“You honestly believed that the three of us had been kidnapped by Santa Claus?” Jalina asked incredulously as Fenrakk towed the group back to the hotel later that day. “How in the world did you get that Idea?”

 

“Well, you vanished, and we heard you scream.” Hewkii muttered. “When we got out there, the Santa was running away.”

 

“I slipped on some ice! You really need to quit watching so many movies.” Jalina said. “At least the poor guys didn’t mind too much. All of their candy cane boxes were empty, so there wasn’t any damage done.”

 

“But they were giving us weird looks!”

 

“Of COURSE they were giving you weird looks. Piraka and Toa aren’t exactly common in downtown seattle.”

 

“So all’s well that end’s well?” Kongu asked.

 

“I guess so. Who wants to go ride the Ducks?”

 

“I do!” Kapurkar said. “Oh look! There's a STARBUCKS!”

 

“LATTES!”

 

“Slurp!”

 

“I SAID STOP THAT!”

 

***

“That was one of the weirder things the guys have done.” Hahli laughed. 

 

“Do you think anything like that could happen on this trip?” Numi asked. 

 

“Nah.” Hahli said, plumping up a pillow. “we have much better plot lines that are actually thought out.”

 

“Who comes up with these plots, anyway?” Numi asked.  Both of them looked over at Jalina, who was scribbling on a thick notepad. 

 

“What? What?”

 

2,315 words. UPDATED: 2,466 words


Edited by Jalina T.T., Jul 13 2013 - 10:25 AM.

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Defy Expectations


#27 Offline Neelh

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Posted Jul 13 2013 - 11:31 AM

My favourite bit is definitely "STARBUCKS!"


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Taipu still won't love me.

tumblr_mn04u212Bs1rlaa4qo1_r1_500.png

 

taipu

i love you

love me back

my darling taipu


#28 Offline Jalina T.T.

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Posted Jul 17 2013 - 08:26 PM

Back again! I just realized I only have a couple more chapters until I am entirely caught up. Time to start writing new ones...Road Trip 2!Chapter 15: The gangʼs all here OR Time for me to worm my way out of this plot mess.Morning broke over the small motel Jalina and her friends occupied after a long day of travel. Seeing that the morning had broken, the author muttered to herself about poorly- manufactured mornings and walked away from her computer to find the duct tape."Oh great". Thok muttered, looking at the above paragraph and completely breaking the fourth wall in the process. "The author left. NOW how will we finish the chapter?""Will you please quit breaking the fourth wall?" Hakann asked. "It's bad for our credibility.""It wonʼt matter two bits if we canʼt finish this chapter!" Thok retorted. "We need someone else to write the chapter!""Iʼll write it!" Numi exclaimed, squeezing between Thok and Jaller."Us? let YOU write it?" Thok laughed. "You probably have us spending the entire chapter riding around on crazy vehicles screaming our heads off while engaging in off- the-wall mayhem!""Donʼt we do that anyway?" Hahli asked, appearing suddenly behind Jaller."...I will respectfully chose to ignore that statement.""Well, Iʼll write it if no one else will." Matoro said, standing just behind Thok."What will we write about? we donʼt even know which town weʼre in right now, let alone if weʼre even in the same state!" Axonn pointed out, spontaneously appearing behind Numi."Weʼll make it all up as we go. Thatʼs what the authorʼs been doing so far." Thok said, pulling out a pad of paper and a pencil."It wonʼt have any apples in it, will it?" Hewkii asked, leaning over Jallerʼs shoulder."Not if you donʼt want there to be." Thok said. At that point, everyone began chiming in with ideas, comments, and retorts about just what should be in the chapter. The dialogue continued so loudly that none of them noticed the author reappear with the duct tape and repair the morning."Hey, wait a minute!" Berix said, standing in front of Thok and halting the conversation. "Why are we all crammed in this tiny black space when we should be in the motel?"POOF!Jalina sat up in bed and gasped. The sunrise outside, fully repaired, shone through the window, permeating the narrow openings in the curtain and illuminating the room. That was a crazy dream, she thought as she crawled out of bed and sorted out a change of clothes out of her suitcase. Hahli and Numi were still fast asleep in their own beds, and she could hear some of the others snoring loudly next door. Gently smiling, Jalina opened the curtains a little more, looked at the clock, and went to go take a shower.Later that day, after several shoves, nudges, and a full-blown pillow fight to get everyone out of bed, the group took to the highway, and were soon cruising into Illinois."Hey Jalina," Hahli asked, looking behind them at the traffic. "When Kapurkar uses his transportation powers, what kind of car does he usually make?""Itʼs usually a white suburban, why?" Jalina asked."No reason, I thought I just saw a white suburban behind us, thatʼs all."MEANWHILE."Hey Kapurkar?" Avak asked, leaning forward in the seat. "Does Jalina still have Skopio with her?""Yeah, why?" Kapurkar asked, keeping his eyes on the road in front of him."No reason, I thought I saw a Skopio in front of us, thatʼs all."A few minutes later, both cars happened to pull off on the same exit to a rest stop for stretch breaks. Kongu climbed out of the back of the suburban and ran for the nearest tree. Kapurkar was not exactly a professional driver, and the freeway had been crowded that day. He kelt down and grabbed the trunk with both arms, glad to be on safe ground once more."Oh, wonderful tree! Itʼs so wonderful to see you!" Kongu cried, holding the trunk close.Hewkii looked down at Kongu, who for some reason had grabbed him around the legs and way happily sobbing. "itʼs good to see you too..." He said, completely confused.Kongu, started that the tree had spoken, looked up and realized that he hadnʼt grabbed a tree at all, but Hewkii. Kongu promptly let go and stood up, self-consciously dusting himself off. "Yeah, uhh....""This never happened." Hewkii said, and Kongu heartily agreed. Behind them, the two groups were re-uniting and trading stories about what had happened after they split up in the woods the day before.

"So how did you find us?" Helen asked, surprised."I donʼt know. We just happened to pull off at the rest stop a few minutes ago." Hahli said, looking at Reidak and Hakann as they chased seagulls, trying to feed them crumbs. As the conversation continued, the seagulls began to chase the pair, and not necessarily for the crumbs."Maybe thereʼs some small, physic connection between the two groups that somehow brought us together!" Nuparu hypothesized, listening to the conversation with interest. The group murmured with consent, and no one noticed Jalina quietly slip her cell phone back into her pocket, while Kapurkar put his back in his vehicle.."So, now that weʼre all back together," Tahu said, looking at everyone else. "Where to now?""Let me check the map..." Jalina said, pulling the folded paper out of her pocket. A few minutes later, the group learned that they were just outside the Windy City, Chicago."Why not? Iʼve always wanted to see the Empire State building." Zaktan buzzed."The Empire State Building is in New York City." Numi pointed out. "The one in Chicago is called the Sears Tower.""Actually, itʼs called the Willis Tower now." Kapurkar said."Either way, itʼs a famous building. Letʼs just get going and find somewhere to eat for lunch." Marek said, to a group consensus. Everyone loaded back into their respective vehicles and hit the freeway again. Actually, they drove on it, as hitting it would hurt.Half an hour later, the group was standing on a scenic view point overlooking Lake Michigan and Chicago. The wind was blowing freely, strong enough that Jalina stowed her hat back in her bag before it blew away. The sun was bright and the sky was clear, with only a few small, white, fluffy clouds dotting the blue sky."Itʼs amazing up here." X-ray said, looking at the crystal-clear city skyline in the distance. Strong gusts occasionally blew across the view point, sending used wrappers and stray belongings tumbling along the ground."Iʼm going to go find some flyers for events and museums around town." Jalina said, picking up the used chip bag that rolled by her feet. "Iʼll be back in a few minutes." She said, walking away."Okay, how much mayhem can we cause before Jalina gets back?" Kapurkar asked, leaning against the railing."Can we try not to cause anything?" Hewkii asked. "I think Iʼm catching a cold." At that moment, Hewkii let loose a loud sneeze. It was also a very strong sneeze that sent Zaktan abuzz next to him. After the pepper incident back in Montana, Zaktan seemed to react easily to sneezes, and seemed to drift apart a little more each time someone sneezed."Can you please not do that next to me?" Zaktan asked. "I would really hate to..." He never got the words out before another strong gust came rolling through, spreading his protodites apart and effectively making him vanish."Oh, not again." Reidak moaned. "How are we going to find him this time?""Iʼm back." Jalina said at that moment, walking up with a handful of flyers. "I found some interesting things to do in Chicago. Hey, whereʼd Zaktan go?""He...went to go get a quick snack." Hakann lied, shifting to hide Hewkii, who was still sniffling."Weʼre going to get lunch after this, I donʼt know why he couldnʼt have waited..." Jalina said, looking around. "What did he think of the view?""Umm....." Hakann floundered. Jaller came to his rescue."He was blown away."To Be Continued.approx. 1, 301 words. UPDATED: 1,358 words EDITED: Weird, all the quotation marks vanished...


Edited by Jalina T.T., Aug 01 2013 - 02:20 PM.

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Defy Expectations


#29 Offline Jalina T.T.

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Posted Jul 23 2013 - 08:06 PM

Another chapter! And while I'm on vacation!Road trip 2chapter 16A Special Day OR The Comedy Author's Guide to Thrifty Presents.It was a wild and windy day in Chicago, Illinois, as the large group of toa, piraka, teenagers, and other assorted Bionicle characters drove into the tangle maze of streets that made up the downtown metropolis. Having found Zaktan blown into a tree by the wind, the group had carefully stowed his protodites in a backpack until he could, ahem, pull himself together. After several minutes in traffic (and Jalina berating her brother for messing with the traffic lights for their benefit, causing even more traffic jams than originally intended) they made it through the heart of Chicago. Their first stop on their daily tour was Millennium park, home to fantastic sculptures and fountains.“And the Millennium Fal-” Vezok started, but was soon cut off by Tahu.“Nice try, but no.” Tahu said, turning to look at him from the front of the van. For a city currently plauged by faulty traffic lights, traffic was fairly light. In no time, the group had reached the park. Disembarking from their vehicles, the group of nearly thirty began to wander around the park, admiring the towering works of art that varied from simple geometric shapes to mind-bending configurations that confused many just by looking at them."What is that?""...It's a donkey....I think..."“Hey, thereʼs some stores over there.” Hahli said, walking around with Helen and Jalina near one edge of the park. The trio strolled over to the storefronts window-shop and gossip. They oohed and ahhed at one window, which was filled with cakes of all sizes and decorations. Jalina stared at one of the cakes intensely for several minutes, then slapped her forehead.“Oh, Snapdragon!” She muttered. “I canʼt believe I forgot!” She quickly began walking away, back to the center of the park. Confused, all Hahli and Helen could do was follow. As they did, they heard her mutter things like “Today of all days!” and “How could I have forgotten such an important event?” by the time they had caught up, Jalina had found some of the others, talking together in the center of the square.“Hey guys, do you think you will be okay on your own for a while?” Jalina asked Nuparu, who looked at her with surprise. “I have a couple errands to run, I have my phone if you need anything.” She continued, already backing away. “Iʼll meet you at the hotel tonight!” She called, darting away to the bus station. By the time they had collected their wits, she was gone.“...Did she just leave us on our own, to take care of ourselves, in the middle of a crowded city in the middle of the day?” Thok asked, looking at the bus station. “She's DEFINITELY got something on her mind.”“We were looking at that bakery over there when she said she forgot something.” Helen said, gesturing to the stores across the street. “It sounded like an important event.”Maybe itʼs a holiday.” Nuparu said. “But itʼs not Christmas, or Easter, or Valentineʼs day, or the Fourth of July.”“Arbor day, Maybe?” Kongu asked. “Labor day?”“Kwanzaa?”“National Donut day?”“That was a few weeks ago,” Jaller pointed out. “I donʼt think itʼs a major holiday.”“Well, she was staring really hard at the birthday cakes when...” Hahli started. “Thatʼs it! It must be someoneʼs birthday!”“But whose?” Kongu asked. “I don't remember anyone birthday being anytime soon, and itʼs not like sheʼs the most organized person with dates.”“I know!” Hewkii said. “I bet itʼs her own birthday! Sheʼs just pretending itʼs someone elseʼs so that we donʼt notice and make a big fuss!”“Are you sure?” Jaller asked. “I still remember Seattle.”“Do you have any other suggestions?” Hewkii retorted. No one replied, more out of uncertainty than anything else. “Well, we should get her something. Then we can surprise her with a party at the hotel tonight.”“Iʼll get decorations for the hotel room.” Numi volunteered. “Berix and Axonn can help me set up.”“Weʼll go to the bookstore and find something for her.” Matoro said, walking over to join them, having overheard the rather loud conversation from a hundred feet away.“The rest of us can split up and find more presents! Weʼll also need a cake and some ice cream.” Hewkii said. “And do you know what that means?”“Musical Montage!” The group cried, and as one they charged for the vehicles waiting in the nearby parking lot.....“Can anyone think of a good song?” Berix asked. “because I canʼt.” “Neither can I.” Hakann said. “Weʼll skip it this time and try again later.”With that, the group split into their separate transportation modes and sped off. Numiʼs first stop was Party City, to pick up streamers and balloons for the hotel room. With a little “Help” From Berix and a lot of help from Axonn, she was able to get out of the store without everything going south. Needless to say, the store employees learned to beware short blue creatures.“thatʼs going to throw things off for the Smurfs.” Berix commented as they sped off on Numiʼs speeder. A quick whack to the head with an axe raptly made him be quiet.The other groups were not having as easy of a time with their tasks. X-ray, with his girlfriend I-Ray, Kopaka, Kapurkar, Helen, and Tahu, were shopping for a cake. Or rather, a couple of cakes, due to the size of the groups. Sadly, the seemingly simple shopping expedition turned into a tedious trudge through the many bakeries and cake stores throughout Chicago. Their main obstacle was the sheer number of cakes that could be chosen from, as well as the type, layers, size, and frosting decorations.“Do you think sheʼd like one with bears on it?” I-Ray asked as they perused the bakery section in a grocery store.“Not really.” Kapurkar said, looking at one decorated with trains. “Although she can be a bit of bear herself in the mornings.”“What would we put on the cake, anyway?” Tahu asked. “What would we want it to say?”“Not just ʻHappy Birthday.ʼ” X-ray said, glancing at the cake book.“How about, ʻHappy Birthday Jalina, bestest, most awesome, incredible friend and sister in the universe?ʼ” Helen asked.“...On the other hand, maybe ʻHappy Birthdayʼ will work just fine.” X-ray said. “I donʼt think that would even have fit on the cake...” Kopaka replied.***Meanwhile, the rest of the group scoured the city for just the right gift to give their prestigious friend. Matoro, Kongu, Zaktan (now fully restored and out of the backpack) Hewkii, and Vezok were valiantly searching the bookstores. Sadly...“Does anyone know what series sheʼs reading right now?” Zaktan asked from the teen fiction section.“I know she doesnʼt like vampire stories.” Matoro said. “sheʼs always complaining about how they all carbon-copies of each other and riding on the fame of one series."Well, that scratches off about half this section.” Zaktan replied. “Does she like graphic novels?”“I know she has a few, but Iʼm not sure which ones.” Kongu said, looking at the magazines. “Why donʼt we just get her an e-reader and be done with it?”“Sheʼs already got one.” Hewkii pointed out. “although, come to think of it, I havenʼt seen her read that much lately...”At that moment, Vezok was pulling a stubborn book off one of the shelves. He tugged it free, then fell backwards into another bookshelf, which fell over, taking two more shelves with it, and a nearby window.“Thatʼs because sheʼs always cleaning up after Vezokʼs disasters.” Matoro sighed. “Does anyone have a Komau handy?”***By the end of the day, the group had managed to scrape together a few gifts. Matoro and his group had scored a new Forgotten Realms book, as well as a Barnes and Noble gift card. Cybil, Marek, Ihrax, Hakann, and Jaller had found a Lego Power Functions set, and a few motors. Hahli, Nuparu, Avak, Thok, and Reidak had bought an iTunes gift card, and a new Ninjago set. Weary of their shopping, the tired groups returned to the hotel they were to stay at that night. inside, they found Numi angrily chasing Berix around, sending streamers all over the room. With Axonnʼs help, peace was quickly restored, and the room was soon ready.“Does anyone know when Jalinaʼs going to get back?” Hakann asked impatiently. At that moment, the hotel room door opened, and Jalina backed in, carrying a few packages and bags, with a cake balanced on top. As soon as she turned around:“SURPRISE!”“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!”“Oh!” Jalina said, surprised. “This is really nice guys... But itʼs not my birthday.” The room was silent. Then, out of nowhere, Jaller bonked Hewkii on the head. “Thatʼs the last time we listen to you!” Jaller muttered.“So, we wasted all that time scouring the city for presents and cake for nothing?” Helen asked, disappointed."Not quite.” Jalina said. She set her armload on the bed, pulled a party hat out of one of the bags, then reached up and placed it on her brotherʼs head. “Happy Birthday, Kapurkar.” The room cheered with excitement.“This means we get to eat the cake, right?” Berix asked. “Of course.” Jalina laughed. “Dig in!”The group tore into a frenzy as cake and ice cream was doled out. No one noticed Numi sidle over to Jalina, who was organizing presents on the bed.“I know itʼs his birthday and all...” Numi whispered. “But, in-story, isnʼt it still summer?”“I forgot to get him anything else for his birthday.” Jalina whispered back. “Now be quiet and enjoy the party.”“That, I can do.” Numi smiled, looking back at the group. “Hey! Berix! OUT OF THE CAKE!”Aprox. 1,559 words.UPDATED: 1,655 words
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Defy Expectations


#30 Offline Jalina T.T.

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Posted Aug 01 2013 - 01:34 PM

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][color=#0000ff;]Back from vacation! it was a lot of fun, and I learned a lot about the route our gang takes during the first part of the trip. (Namely, I might need to tweak a couple things in previous chapters)[/color][/font]

 

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][color=#0000ff;]One more to go until a brand new, never before seen chapter! (Okay, two including this one.)[/color][/font]

 

Road Trip 2!

Chapter 16: Getting the Show on the Road OR Where were we going again?Chicago: Known to the majority of the United States as the Windy City. Known to our intrepid group of heroes as a place that wonʼt throw them out on sight the next time they visit. Yes, it was finally time for the assembled group of travelers to continue on their coast-to-coast road trip. Question is...“Does anyone remember where weʼre going next?” Kongu asked as he and the other toa began to prepare Skopio for their trip the day after the birthday party.“To be truthful, I donʼt.” Jaller said, untangling the reins. “Although it would help if the author would remember to post chapters a little more often.”“Yeah, she was really going strong on the chapters for a little while.” Hewkii said, dusting off the seats. “I wonder what happened.”“Real life probably struck for a while.” Jaller replied. “It happens to authors all the time. Itʼs hard to write chapters when that all-important documentary for Honors History is due.” At that moment, Jalina backed out of her hotel room with a bag of trash and a bag of groceries. She nudged the door closed with her toe and walked over to the dumpster on the far end of the parking lot.“Hey Jalina, where are we off to next?” Kapurkar called over to his sister from his room.Jalina paused, set her bags down, and pulled the road map out of her pocket. After observing it for a bit, she folded it and put it back in her pocket. “Weʼll follow the great lakes for a bit and loop up towards Buffalo, New York. After that, weʼll head east to Massachusetts.” She called back, picking up the bags again and carrying them over to the dumpster. “Weʼll poke around there for a little bit, then head south.” She continued, opening the dumpster and throwing one of the bags inside.“Um, Jalina...”“Yeah?”“You realize you just threw the groceries in the dumpster, right?”"...snapdragon...”***A couple of hours later, the group was driving along on the freeway. Jalina had the five- way radios turned on, so everyone was hearing everyone elseʼs conversation. Unfortunately.“Jalina, if the chapters are going to come at this rate, weʼre never going to finish the trip!” Numi called in from her speedster. “Is there anyway we can speed things up a little?”“As a matter of fact, my friend, there is.” Jalina replied. She turned to the others. “Whoʼs up for a musical montage?”“ME!”City to CityBy the NewsboysWhere do you wanna be this time next yearDon't be left all alone, just pack your bags and come to Where it's free, you'll see don't let it disappearYou know we gotta move on, there's so much left to be doneAll across the world, from the North to the SouthAll across the world, from the East to the WestThe convoy of vehicles quickly moved across the highway as the group left Illinois and crossed Indiana in hardly any time at all. Right as they crossed into Ohio, however;*SCREEEEEEEECCCCHHHHH!!!!*“That didnʼt sound good.” Jaller remarked. The group had stopped at a small town along the way to stretch their legs. Suddenly, The Skopio reared, screeched and ran off, throwing packs and bags from its back as it went. Soon, it was out of sight.Jalina sighed. “NOT AGAIN!” she moaned, righting her suitcase. “Iʼm never renting from that company again.”“Well, we canʼt fit everyone onto the Thornatus and Numiʼs Speeder.” X-ray commented.“So what do we do?”“Well...”I'm goin' on a trip from city to cityYou wanna come along? you wanna come along?It's nothin' that they're gonna show on the TVYou wanna come along? you wanna come along?“THOSE THINGS?” Thok asked in shock. “Youʼre joking, right?”“Unless youʼve got a better idea,” Jalina said, holding up the keys to a pair of 14-seater vans from a nearby rental company (Not the same one she rented the Skopio from). “I would keep your mouth shut. They carry 14 people apiece, and theyʼre cheap.”The remainder of the group climbed into the vans, and the convoy drove off. Behind, them, as they left the rental lot, the shadows behind the building seemed to stir...Where you are right now, your piece of historyI'll tell you what's on your mind, I'll show you things you'll wouldn'tSee the signs, the times, the planet, all we seeJust let me move you along on down the road of legacyAll across the world, from the North to the SouthAll across the world, from the East to the WestI'm goin' on a trip from city to cityYou wanna come along? you wanna come along?It's nothin' that they're gonna show on the TVYou wanna come along? You wanna come along?The vans puttered across the highway, occasionally sending up unsettling noises as the group drove. The occupants of the van discovered that the vans were not in the best condition. The ceiling vents in the back leaked (even though it wasnʼt raining) The seats were worn and ragged, and some of the material on the roof was coming off, and was held together via duct tape. The group grew nervous as the trip continued. These vehicles were safe... right?From the North to the SouthFrom the East to the WestFrom the North to the SouthFrom the East to the West

1,2,3,41,2,3,4I'm goin' on a trip from city to cityYou wanna come along? you wanna come along?It's nothin' that they're gonna show on the TVYou wanna come along? you wanna come along?As the group drove into downtown Cleveland, Ohio, one of the vans emitted a loud popping noise. Jalina pulled into the nearest parking lot just as both vans began to emit steam and smoke from under the hoods. Jalina parked her van and got out to inspect the engine. As soon as she raised the hood, A wall of steam came right at her, and she had to backpedal to avoid being roasted.“I donʼt think weʼll be taking these any farther.” Jalina muttered as the smoke and steam cleared. “The engine looks a mess.""Engines always look like that.” Avak told her, examining the other engine, which had begun to emit sparks. It burst into flames, eliciting a loud yell."Am I missing an eyebrow?""You don't HAVE eyebrows." Thok mutttered."I know, but I couldn't resist making that quote."“Still, it doesnʼt look good.” Jalina said, gingerly closing the hood. “Is there any way we can fix this?”“Not without being delayed several days.” Nuparu said, looking over Avak's singed shoulder.“Great. Weʼre stranded with two broken vans in the middle of nowhere with night falling. A plot straight out of a soap opera or lame movie.” Jalina muttered.“Um, weʼre in downtown Cleveland, and itʼs almost dawn.” Hahli said, leaning out the passenger window.“Whatever. Weʼre still not going anyplace.” Jalina said, kicking one of the tires. The hood on the other vehicle slammed down, nearly hitting Avak's hand.“Hey, is that a train station over there?” Numi asked, pulling up along side the van. Sure enough, the group had somehow pulled over in a train station parking lot, conveniently close to the main terminal.“I know! We can take the train up to Buffalo. It does run up there.” Kapurkar said. “itʼs even got a automotive car, so we can take the thornatus and the speeder. Besides,” he said. “If it breaks down, itʼs not our fault!”“Not normally...” Jalina muttered under her breath. "I don't know about this, guys...""Come on, we can get off the road for a few hours! We'll reach Buffalo by this afternooon!""I don't have money planned for tickets." Jalina replied, looking over the battered van."What do you DO have money planned for?" Matoro asked, curious."Reparations to everything you guys break." she replied, rolling her eyes."So?" Hahli asked. "I'll pay!"Everyone looked at Hahli with surprise. "What?" she asked. "Jalina's not the only one with a job."“So what are we waiting for?” Nuparu asked, jumping out of the car. “Iʼm tired of riding in this van all day! Letʼs go!”And, contrary to Jalinaʼs protests, the entire party raced into the terminal and boarded the train for Buffalo."Um, Jalina?""Yeah?""Why did you rent those vans when you've got Kapurkar with us?""Well of all the..."Approx 1,444 words.


Edited by Jalina T.T., Aug 01 2013 - 01:37 PM.

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Defy Expectations


#31 Offline Jalina T.T.

Jalina T.T.
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Posted Aug 05 2013 - 04:25 PM

Here it is. The last of the chapters made before the arrival of the new forums. From now on, it's brand new chapters.I can't wait to see where this leads.Road Trip 2!Chapter 17: Ghosts of the Rail OR Kapurkar insisted on editing this one for proper train usage. Several hours after boarding, the 20th Century--er, Lake Shore Limited was humming steadily along. Jalina was sitting in the unusual, large-windowed Viewliner diner car, watching the scenery go by, while the others wandered the train in search of something to do. It turned out that riding on a train wasnʼt near as interesting as they had thought it would be. Surprisingly, no one commented on the variety of BIONICLE characters wandering about the train. In fact, the train was rather sparse on passengers that day.“So,” Numi said, plopping down in the seat across from Jalina. “What are we doing vehicle wise once we get to Buffalo? Take another train?”“Iʼm not sure.” Jalina confessed. “Iʼve been having a lot of bad luck with vehicles lately. Maybe we should just...”“Whatʼs that!?!?!” A passenger cried out from across the car. People swarmed the windows as they looked out, trying to see what was happening. Jalina and Numi leapt from their seats and peered out the windows at the sight, and what a scary sight it was.For although the train was traveling in broad daylight, an enourmous wall of dark clouds seemed to blot out part of the horizon to their left. Suddenly, the train gave an unpleasant lurch.“Do trains often make unpleasant lurches like that?” Numi asked nervously. Jalina shook her head. Trains did not move like that, not on track this good. The train lurched again. Suddenly, the floor shifted beneath their feet. the train was speeding up. The air, normally warmed by the overhead heaters, became unpleasantly chill.Hakann and Vezok rushed into the car, eyes wide. “The trainʼs going off course!” Vezok cried out. “Itʼs headed straight for that black wall!” Matoro, Reidak, and Tahu stars also rushed in, fearful. "We're not even sure it's on the tracks anymore!""How can a train go off the tracks and still maintain speeds like this without crashing!?" "...hard ground?"Just as Jalina opened her mouth to calm her friends, the train let out a keening wail, mournful and high-pitched, not fitting for the diesel engine that powered the train they rode. The windows outside turned pitch black, the cars only illuminated by the meager lights above. a rasping laugh came over the speakers, gaining in volume and intensity. Hakann whirled around to see who was laughing and smacked his head against Vezokʼs, who had done the same. Both crumpled to the ground, semi-conscious.“Having fun?” the voice rasped. Jalina turned in a slow circle, keeping an eye on the worried friends. “Donʼt worry. We wonʼt hurt you...much. Your train is just taking a little...detour. Would you like to guess where you are going?”“Insane! At the speed of crazy!” A half-conscious Hakann exclaimed from the floor.“Hold on to your tickets, because youʼre on a fast-track to nowhere.” The voice said. “We hope you enjoy the ride, because it will be your last.”The passengers around her began to change, regular clothes turning to cloaks as black as the world outside. It was a trap, the group realized all too late. They began to advance slowly. Jalina turned and gathered her friends in a circle in the center of the car, weapons out. Just as the first cloaked person came close enough to touch, the lights went out, the car now completely black. Several cries and screams were heard, both from close up and from other cars on the train. Several scuffles broke out in the darkness. Then silence.The lights flickered back on, a dull orange glow piercing the blackness. Jalina blinked, then spun around. The car had transformed from a modern dining car to an 20th century, streamlined parlor car. The windows remained pitch-black, although the lights overhead glowed a steady yellow-orange. The high-pitched wail came again, a sound she recognized as a steam train's whistle. Everyone else in the car had vanished, leaving her all alone.“Missing someone?” The voice rasped again. “Donʼt worry, they're not hurt. We just want you. What do you say? Why don't you join us?” Jalina didnʼt reply, a determined frown crossing her face. “No? Itʼs a pity. Youʼve only got until the train stops to escape... and you wonʼt. Not without finding all of your friends. And you definitely wonʼt find them. EVER.”Jalina stood still in the center of the parlor car, in the center of the train. On one hand, she had a rampaging train that could potentially crash at any moment. On the other, she had about 24 friends that were MIA and in trouble. And on one foot, (Jalina ran out of hands) they were now trapped by the same cloaked weirdos that had been shadowing them for days now. How had they managed to find them again? On the other foot, She only had about four hours to fix this entire mess before they were supposed to reach Buffalo. How would she get the train back on track when she didn't even know where they were now?“Iʼll need to find Kapurkar before I do anything else.” Jalina said aloud. “I donʼt know anything about rampaging trains, and Iʼll need his help to stop this crazy thing.” The problem was, where to start? There was too much area to cover. She walked to the end of the car and peeked through the door. No one in there, that she could tell. She walked in and closed the door behind her. She looked about. Just a simple riding car. No fancy closets or hiding places here. Jalina sighed. This was going to be a long search, and time was running out.***The train seemed to stretch on forever, cars leading to more cars without end. Jalina sighed as she opened yet another door. She was willing to bet that the enemy was somehow extending the train or sending her in a loop to buy themselves some time. As she walked into the next car, she was jumped by a blue ball of terrified fury. She fell on her rear, holding up her arms to fend of the attack. “Berix! Calm down! Itʼs just me!” She yelled, getting a grip on the agori and holding him down. After a minute, Berix calmed down enough to be comprehensible.“Sorry.” He apologized. “Itʼs just that when the lights went out, I got scared and hid under a chair. when they came back on, everyone was gone.” He said sliding his knife back into his sheath. “Whatʼs going on?”“Thatʼs an excellent question.” Jalina said, pulling herself upright. “Do you feel that?” she asked, suddenly shifting her weight.Berix thought for a moment. “The train quit speeding up. In fact...”“Itʼs slowing down. Weʼre running out of time.” Jalina said, standing upright. “Do you think you can check the other cars? Past the parlor car? Iʼm going to go regain control of the train.”“Sure, as long as the lights donʼt go out again.” Berix said, standing up quickly."Take this with you." Jalina said, handing him her phone. With a smile and a salute, he raced through the back door and out of sight. Jalina turned and walked to the door the front of the car. Two cars later, she stopped when she heard voices in the next car.“Think sheʼll make it?” a voice asked.“She won't.” A voice, the raspy one from over the speakers, replied. “Not while we're tracking her. IF she does come, she canʼt stop the train, even if she brings that pesky brother of hers. The dampener will cancel out his powers, and the girl doesnʼt know anything about trains. She has admitted it herself.”Jalina stepped back from the door, took a breath, then came at the door as if she had never heard their conversation. She opened the door and found herself, not in a diesel cab, but in the cab of a powerful Dreyfuss Hudson steam engine. Two cloaked figures stood on the far side of the cab, bent over and whispering. They looked up in surprise when they saw her."How did you get here?!" One of the cloaks asked."You were halting my progress by tracking me via my phone. Once I ditched that, you didn't know where I was, and couldn't stop me from making it here."“Have you considered our offer?” The raspy voice asked, more composed than his partner.“There was never anything to consider.” Jalina replied. “But I do have a question for you.” Out of nowhere, she pulled out her rapier and pointed it at his throat. “Why is it, if you want me so bad, you captured everyone else EXCEPT me on the train?” She asked.Raspy voice stuttered several times and looked over at his compatriot, who shrugged.“Muddled orders?” Jalina smirked. “Pity. If you guys could ever get your heads on straight, I might be afraid of you. But for now...” In the blink of an eye, both cloaked figures were on the floor, and Jalina was rapidly pulling levers, slowing the train down.“I thought you said you didnʼt know anything about trains!” the raspy voice protested.“I said I didnʼt know anything about rampaging trains. regular trains I know all about. That happens when your a sister to a train fanatic.” Jalina said. “And Iʼll just smash this, thank you very much.” With a casual hand, Jalina flicked the dampener out the window and into the darkness.“Youʼll never find your friends in time, though.” the other cloak sneered. “Weʼre due to reach the station in five minutes, and then youʼll have to answer for why youʼre the only person on...”At that moment, Berix rushed in, with everyone else close behind. “I found them!” he cried. “They were...”“Tied up in the baggage cars, which were placed at the back of the train.” Jalina said. “Even though theyʼre normally next to the engine.” Everyone looked at her. “Sister to a train fanatic.” she reminded them. “Besides, there arenʼt very many hiding places for 24+ people on a train.”“The trainʼs arriving in three minutes. Good luck getting off in time.” “Heh...”***Jalina and her friends watched from a distance as a troop of people in red boarded the train at the station. Minutes later, they hauled the two cloaked figures off, chattering into radios when they found no one else. The sky was clear and bright in Buffalo, NY. on the border with Canada.Well...” Helen said. “That was unexpected.”“No one expects the Canadian Mounted Police.” Avak reminded her.“But the U.S. border patrol is the one that checks the train.” Kapurkar said, back to his usual self, although a little frazzled.“Which is why they werenʼt expected!”“Wha...?”THE END.“Why is it that after the author comes back from a break, the chapters arenʼt near as funny?” Kongu asked.“Getting back in the swing of things.” Jalina told him. “Next chapter will be better.”
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