Jump to content

  • Log in with Facebook Log in with Twitter Log In with Google      Sign In   
  • Create Account

Welcome to BZPower!

Hi there, while we hope you enjoy browsing through the site, there's a lot more you can do if you register. The process is easy and you can use your Google, Facebook, or Twitter account to make it even faster. Some perks of joining include:
  • Create your own topics, participate in existing discussions, and vote in polls
  • Show off your creations, stories, art, music, and movies and play member and staff-run games
  • Enter contests to win free LEGO sets and other prizes, and vote to decide the winners
  • Participate in raffles, including exclusive raffles for new members, and win free LEGO sets
  • Send private messages to other members
  • Organize with other members to attend or send your MOCs to LEGO fan events all over the world
  • Much, much more!
Enjoy your visit!

Photo

Just Another Path (Ssc #9 Entry)

Lord Darkons Toa Matora Mask of Life

  • Please log in to reply
2 replies to this topic

#1 Offline L'Etranger

L'Etranger
  • Members
  • Bionicle Writer of the Month

  • 3,250 posts
  •  

Posted Feb 14 2012 - 01:39 PM

Just Another Path

 “End? No, the journey doesn't end here. Death is just another path. One that we all must take. The grey rain-curtain of this world rolls back, and all turns to silver glass... then you see it!”-Gandalf the White, Return of the King (Film) Matoro swam away from where the others fought, his mind racing in fear and terror. What if the Great Spirit was dead? What then? He thought, and suddenly, hope seemed to desert him, and fear began to creep into his mind.A Toa does not fear. He reminded himself. This had been his one rule his entire quest, the one thought that kept him going. The one thing that had kept him fighting, the one thought in his head as he risked his life for others. Diving deeper, Matoro followed the Island of Voya Nui as it sunk, his heart pounding in fear and anticipation. Everything was on his shoulders now, and his shoulders alone. Suddenly, Matoro felt himself being pulled in one direction, and he began to swim away, only to stop. Something just told him to stop. Looking around, Matoro saw no one. Before he could ask who was there, he was sucked away by the current.To his amazement, he fell onto dry land. What the- He thought as he felt the stone he was standing on. Suddenly, the voice reappeared. “Put on the mask.” Matoro whirled around. “What? Who?” He asked, unable to comprehend how someone followed him. “Matoro. It’s time.” The voice repeated, mysterious, harsh and kind all at once.Nodding in resignation, Matoro placed the Kanohi of Life onto his face, and at once felt a reaction.His mind was swarming with memories of his life, from Mata-Nui, to Voya-Nui, and now to his time in the underwater world. A tear fell down his face as the memories speed by, almost too fast to understand.He understood. The Mask was telling him what his life’s meaning, his destiny, was. Tears flew freely from his eyes, streaming down before falling to the stone like rain. Concentrating, his activated the mask’s full potential, and was greeted by a flood of knowledge, how and why things lived, how and why things died, everything. He was being told the secrets of life. Death is not the end. I shall join them, my friends, one day. But for now, I must let myself go, I must die so that others may live. He thought, deciding to fulfill his destiny, no matter the price. And with that, Toa Matoro let go, allowing the mask to use his energies to save the Great Spirit, the universe, and all those who live within it.And as he did this, he smiled, and saw peaceful Ko-Koro, with it’s snow-capped mountains, it’s quiet atmosphere, and all the citizens, including Turaga Nuju. In short, he died happy, the knowledge that he was saving others giving him peace that no others have ever experienced.

The End

 

Edited by Lord Darkon, Feb 14 2012 - 01:43 PM.

  • 0

ULKVFrz.jpg


#2 Online Parks and Rekt

Parks and Rekt
  • Premier Member
  • Premier Members
  • BZPRPG Staff and OTC RPG Judge

  • 11,393 posts
  •  

Posted Feb 24 2012 - 05:13 PM

Official SSCC review. (Short story contest!?! Didn't we just have one of these?)Well, first off, it's nice to see an actual short story. All the writing I ever did was just marginally bigger than this, so it's nice to see that this particular form of story is still soldiering on.What I did notice, however, is that there wasn't as much description of Matoro's final moments as there could have been. The story was, like I said, short, but you still could have fit a little more of Matoro's feelings and observations into the paragraphs. I did like how Matoro's last thought was of Ko-Koro; it seems like a nice little throwback to the early years of BIONICLE and how Mata Nui was a sort of paradise for the Matoran.I also noticed a few grammar errors.

But for now, I must let myself go, I must die so that others may live. He thought

This is a run-on sentence. You probably should have put a period in between go and the second i.

Island

Probably shouldn't have capitalized it.Also, I liked the Gandalf the White quote; nice touch for the end of a great character.-Teezy

Edited by Tyler Durden, Feb 24 2012 - 05:13 PM.

  • 0

i'm back boy

for real

i'm that boy

for real

i got hits baby

you just a bat boy

 for real

 


#3 Offline L'Etranger

L'Etranger
  • Members
  • Bionicle Writer of the Month

  • 3,250 posts
  •  

Posted Feb 24 2012 - 10:04 PM

Thank you for the review! I'm glad someone else thinks the Gandalf quote was a good fit, and i'm also glad that someone else appreciates the shortness.
  • 0

ULKVFrz.jpg





0 user(s) are browsing this forum

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users