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Bzpstuck - The Comic


InnerRayg

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[iR]: Stop introducing new characters just when we're getting to know one!0659.gifYou raaaaaang?Come on, that guy was really cool! All brooding and secretive. I mean did you see that room? Those devices are the same ones Ray has! And what about those aliens? Good guys? Bad? Somewhere in between? Shenanigans are afoot I tell you! Shenanigans![iR]: Be Foreshadow0660.gifSorry! You guys JUUUST missed all this great foreshadowing that was about to happen. Like, jaw-dropping reveals. You would have seen so many jaws getting dropped. You'd need someone to come in and fix your foundation because they really did some serious structural damage when they fell down and ROCKED YOUR WORLD.But no, you want me to go back. okay. You want a cowboy? You got it.Well.Cowgirl.[iR]: STOP!0661.gifIT'S HANNAH TIME!...badum tisss

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Latest Update: STORM AND SAND

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  • 2 weeks later...

[Hannah]: finish your comic0662.gifThere. Artistic perfection. Magnificent. Stupendous. You can't help yourself. You have to show off a little bit. Few folks appreciate a good comic like Ray!

MoochyMensch (MM) began aggravating IrritableRevenant (IR) at 11:21 MSTMM: sup buttIrritableRevenant is AwayMM: >:|IrritableRevenant is still AwayMM: ok you're not here but remember when i went on that trip and got flockedMM: me and PIMM: look look at thisMM: See?IrritableRevenant has AppearedIR: Haha woah oh manIR: That's amazingAnd so on...

[Hannah]: Flirt with Brian 0664c.gifWell that'll be hard to do without a pair of stilts.[Hannah]: Advance the plot! 0634.gifWhat in tarnotion is that raquet??[Hannah]: Go outside, it's good for you0635.gif0663.gifLooks like yer gonna have to. Pommes sure has his whiskers in a twist about something![Hannah]: Wonder what to do next.0664b.gif0665.gif0665bb.gif0665bc.gif[Hannah]: Inspect Mailbag0665b.gifOh great. That doggone dog's gone and rustled the mailman again.Strange, you don't see the game that was supposed to be delivered today.[Hannah]: Locate Mailman0665c.gifThat ole boy's long gone, you reckon.You wish you knew what "reckon" meant.[Hannah]: Locate beloved pooch0665d.gifYou don't know how you'll find him in all this vast, featureless wasteland you call home.[Hannah]: Quit fooling around and advance the plot already!0666.gifOh there he is.Uh oh...is that...[Hannah]: Acquire game for maximum fun!clickforflash.gif[Hannah]: Quit fooling around and land already!0667.gifAwwww yisss.[Hannah]::::0668.gif[Hannah]::::0669.gif[Hannah]::::0671.gif[Hannah]::::0672.gif

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[Hannah]: Fascinating story develop-BE SOMEONE NEW.0719.gifGeez, another character switch? Cascading through all these players, you must be approaching some kind of clima....

Wait.

Could...Could it be?Are you going to be the mysterious stranger?[???]: YES BE THE STRANGER PLEASE0720.gifNo, you ignoramus. You cannot be the mysterious stranger because he's busy being mysterious. And everyone knows that you can't be a stranger after you get to know them. It's like a universal law or something.

You decide to be this dream doofus instead.

Edited by Makaru

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[brian]: Engage in Pleasantries0721.gifNot today. This guy is a breath of fresh air. No small talk of the weather. No "how do you do and what's all this then". This fellow Gentleman is all about the hard sell. As you suspected, Mister Monocle is here entirely on an errand of business. And he ain’t wasting no one’s time.He commands you to follow.[brian]: Join the Gentleman in his Evening Constitutional0722.gifWhat could go wrong? It's just an innocuous darkened hallway with no lighting whatsoever. Nothing ominous there. You join the curt fellow.[brian]: Run from This Man!0723.gifIt seems you will not be walking blind today. Like any upright standard bearer of the aristocratic, high altitude adjusted, rugged league of gentlescholars, he is prepared for any situation. His JINGOIST modus deposits the light stone without a second thought, proving beyond any doubt his unwavering PATRIOTISM.What a breathtaking example of a man. You really should be taking notes.[brian]: Don't Believe his Lies!0724.gifHe asks if you ever heard of the Console of Stardex. You tell him you're not sure. He says not to worry, he trusts you would know it if you saw it. He asks if you've ever heard of a device called a Haccine. You ask him if he meant vaccine. He strenuously pronounces it HACCINE. You say no. He has a lot to say about that.He tells you a Haccine is a mythical object in this world; an anomaly that should not even exist. It is of enviable power, allowing unshackled access to the Console of Stardex. They are rare as they are valuable. And predictably so, ascertaining such an item is as difficult as one would expect a holy grail to be.[brian]:Realize this GENTLEMAN isn't a Man, and Never Was!0725.gifYou can see where this is going, but you play it cool. You ask him if it isn't too unethical to consider cheat codes. He tells you it’s more of a designed exploit at the player’s disposal, and as a trusted informant you can be assured that there is no ethical quandary in using anything at the game's disposal to ensure victory. You ask him if he's sure it's really okay. He tells you it is really your discretion. You tell him that you’ll think about it. You ask him what series of dangerous quests and perils await you on your journey to this technical God Command.[brian]: He is an Alien Freak!0726.gifHe frowns at your peculiar choice of words. He tells you there is no mundane fetch quest necessary.

[brian]: Don't Die0727.gifHe already has it right here.

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[brian]::::0728.gif

[brian]::::0729.gifHe tells you that when the time comes, you’ll know what to do. [brian]::::0780.gifYou have a pretty good brain on you there kid.

[brian]::::0781.gifHold on...Brain? Why is that ringing a bell? Come on Brian, sleuth like you've never sleuthed before!

[brian]: HEYYYYYYYY!!!!0782.gif0783.gifOF COURSE! You suddenly remember the explosion! Brain was trapped in the television when everything went sideways! You sure hope the little nuisance is okay!

[brian]::::0784.gifYou tell him you have a rather pressing matter to attend to. He understands. You give him the traditional Gentleman farewell handshake.

[brian]: Brofist the Gentleman0785.gif0786.gif0787.gif0788.gif0789.gif0790.gif

[brian]: Abscond...QUICKLY0791.gifYou depart rather abruptly[brian]: Resist the Urge to Turn Around0792.gif

Against all odds, you succeed.

[bRIAN]::::

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What a victory this has surely been.

Edited by Makaru

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[brian]: Abruptly Wake Up0744.gifNo no, you can't just fall asleep willy nilly! This isn't some magical dream world where your body just poofs back to THE HUB when you fall unconscious!This is a magical dream world where, if you fell asleep, your body would fall akimbo on the street and just be all sorts of a nuisance! You'd never allow such rudeness to take place if you can help it. So it's back home the old fashioned way - hoofing it.

You also may have forgotten where you came from before. This is why you should never be without your trusty notepad.[brian]: Learn to Fly.0745.gifWhat are you not getting about this place not being a magical fairy land? You think you can just wish hard enough and suddenly have the ability to fly because it's a dream world?? What a patently absurd notion. Earth physics still apply except in rare plot-contrived circumstances, canucklehead!

But there may be a faster way to get home.[brian]: Learn to Read Matoran!0746.gifWhat the heck is a Matoran? This is the LANGUAGE OF THE ANCIENTS.

From what you've gleamed from a few glyphs, there were a race of gentle sentient robodroids. They appear to have layed the foundation of much of the great city of Stardex a long, long time ago. But legends tell of a great uprising, and all traces of the Ancients have been scratched from the records.

Whatever is written here has long been lost to time. You've tried every code-breaking method at your disposal. It is completely undecipherable.

[brian]::::0747.gif

0748.gifWhat you do know, however, is many of their constructs still operate to this day. This includes the vast FLINGY TUBE SYSTEM, which is filled with some mysterious, breathable liquid that probably leaves no long-lasting medical effects to your body. It's still pretty gross, and you try to avoid using it whenever possible.

Edited by Makaru

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[brian]: Ascend Ladder0749.gif

You decide your dedication to Brain is slightly more important to your aversion to being gunked. You climb the ladder without hesitation.

[brian]: Begin Looking for Other Lifeforms in the City0750.gifYou can't begin looking for new life forms because you keep finding old ones. Look at this little guy! Someone forgot to bump "Build" on the priorities list past "Have a Sandwich". He doesn't look too happy to see you.

[brian]::::0751.gifThe behard-hatted little fellow grumbles something about going back to work. At least you're pretty sure that's what he's saying in between various obscenities. As adorable as these little guys are, they sure do have a foul mouth!

Back to the task at hand!

[brian]::::0752.gifThe chute's not too much higher - if you could reach the next ledge you could jump into it. Sort of a leap of faith deal. Unfortunately said ledge is just out of ascending range, even for you!

[brian]::::0753.gifIf only you could find something to extend your reach! You just know there must be a solution to this puzzle somewhere!

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[brian]::::

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[brian]::::

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[brian]: Do what Batman Would Do 0757.gif Using your superior intellect, you were able to piece together the set pieces to overcome your obstacles! Bruce Wayne would be so proud, if the solution weren't so obvious. For the sake of the game's feelings, you choose not to elaborate on the simple solution to the "complex" problem, and promise to never speak of it again. Brian::::0758.gifOkay...here we go...and a one and a two....

[brian]::::0759.gifEr....wow, that sure is a long way down isn't it.

[brian]: Be Even More Adorable.0760.gifMuch to your chagrin, you somehow succeed?

[brian]: Use Chutes to Escape From Your Enemies.0761.gifEnemies? You don't have any enemies! You continue to be transfixed by the ground to show your lack of concern, and ain't nothing gonna convince you otherwise.Well okay that construction guy was pretty grumpy about his sandwich, but you'll buy him a new one when you get your hands on some glitter you guess.Everyone knows glitter is the only accepted currency on Stardex.

[brian]: No, Don't Use the Chutes! Too obvious!0762.gifThat makes sense to you...No! What kind of roughneck gentleman backs out of a course of action once he's decided upon it just because it might result in egregious harm? A rather POOR EXCUSE OF A GENTLEMAN YOU'D SAY. You just need to close your eyes, shut out all distractions, and do this.[brian]: Spontaneously Combust With True Canadian Bravery0763.gifBRUUUUUNOOOOOOO GERUUUUSSSSSSIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!

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[brian]::::

0764.gif

Flying around at the speed of round

[brian]::::

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Got places to go, got to follow your rainbow

[brian]::::

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Can't stick around got to keep boopin' on

Skip to the chorus, 'cuz you don't know the words!

[brian]: FOLLOW ME

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[brian]: SET ME FREE

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[bRIAN]: TRUST ME AND WE WILL ESCAPE FROM THE CITY

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[brian]::::

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[brian]: Danger is Lurking Around Every Turn

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[brian]: Trust Your Feelings

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[brian]: Got To

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Edited by Makaru

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  • 2 weeks later...

[brian]: Don't Be Knocked Out

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Your skull's a tough case to crack. Do you remember talking about how much you hate the tubes? You hate those tubes.
[brian]: Suffer From Side Effects
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Oh my... You... something funny like....you feel a strange tingling in your mouth. Like tiny electric shocks racing across your whole nervous system. Could it be? Could you finally be achieving your ascension through the powers of nasty tube juice??
[brian]: Gain Dream Powers Through Questionable Substance
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You have gained the incredible ability to eat anything without tasting it, because your tongue has gone completely numb.
INCREDIBLE!
[brian]: Search The Nearby Area For Cheese Puffs
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Your search for a tasty food item to test your new ability is cut short by the realization that you have fortuitously been dropped back at the HUB.
Home sweet home!
[brian]: Behold the Mighty Console of Stardex.
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You will as soon as you are inside, you swear! These doors need time to work. The Hub is a very secure place - you've been investigating how these doors work lately, and as near as you can tell they are impenetrable - even the strongest crowbar you could find wouldn't put a scratch on them. The really cool thing is that they only seem to open for you - Which is convenient because the salesmen on Stardex can be VERY persistent. You still regret that set of "never-sharpen" teddy bears you were forced into purchasing with your hard-earned glitter.
[brian]: Find Yourself Inside the Hall of the HUB
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Hold your horses. These doors are pretty dangerous.
Edited by Makaru

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[brian]: Quickly Recover

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Quick like a fox, you shuffle into the Hub of Stardex.
[brian]::::
0779.gif
[brian]: Surrender
0779b.gif
[brian]: Or
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[brian]: Run.
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[brian]::::
0780b.gif
[brian]: Enter the Coliseum
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You enter the MAIN HALL OF THE HUB. It is the place where you started this crazy journey on STARDEX. You suddenly realize you've taken for granted information you already knew without giving it a cursory glance. Also you kinda just wandered out of here, still dozy from waking up from being awake somewhere else.
You really haven't given this place a good look-around. To your left are a bunch of suspicious tubes. Ahead of you is another doorway leading further into the structure of the Hub. To your right is a gigantic computer of UNKNOWN ORIGIN.
What will you do?
Edited by Makaru

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[brian]: Determine the Structural Integrity of the Tubes.

0785b.gif

These tubes, or LIFE SUVAS as you have taken to call them, are quite the conundrum. Inside of these entirely indestructible tubes are three of your greatest friends, all of whom you have never personally met!

You don’t recall the moment or method as to how you escaped your tube. All you think you know is that you appear in this world when you dream in real life. Quite a bold assumption for an investigator to make with no supporting data, but it just seems right to you.

So perhaps you are in the future remembering the past? Or maybe you’re a bunch of clones with a foreboding destiny run amuck of some nefarious scheme? You can’t quite put your finger on who your dream self actually is, but somehow that doesn’t unsettle you.

[brian]: ...By Hitting Them with a Crowbar

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Of course even when you blindly trust the words of strangers, a little mountie-style empiricism never hurts. Now to just retrieve that crowbar and...

SIR JOHN A. MACDONALD'S LIVER! You completely forgot to pick it up on your way over! Now you’ll never be able to show how impervious these things are! Maybe you will be able to reach it later if you ever find your way back. Your friend will surely be happy to assist you in retrieving it.

[brian]: Rip Valve Off Pipe Coming Out of the Floor.

0787b.gif

You can basically assume everything in here is impossible to destroy. You test your hypothesis by kicking the valve. +2 to Orthopedic Malady.

[brian]: Play Galaga on the Computer.

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You gander at this stunning visage of a technical marvel. You are unsure of the application of such a computing device. Maybe you can ascertain the purpose of this CONSOLE by studying all the clues you've noticed in your travels on STARDEX.

You gather your wits. Somehow in the fray of your INTENSE FOCUS, you boost the level of your INVESTIGRIT PERUSAL from PRIDE OF CLOUSEAU to DARK KNIGHT OF MAYBERRY. Your CRANIAL CRAFTSMANSHIP also gives you a negligible boost to your IMAGINATION.

[brian]: Use the BAT COMPUTER to Fight Crime All Over GOTHAM CITY, I Mean, STARDEX

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Of course! This must be the CONSOLE OF STARDEX. This is the illustrious computer Mr. Monocles must have been referring to! Thank goodness you really put your mind to the test. This surely was a feat of the sharpest mind the game could muster to action. All hail you, Lord Braniac, for seeing through this most difficult of puzzles. If you had a captive, non-comatose audience, surely you would have been rewarded with silence then uproarious applause. Good for you.

Interesting. Not only can you view your friends current chronological position, but rewind through previous time periods as well. Sadly you can't fast forward past the present moment. The console stays in lock step with your timeline.

If there's anything else this thing can do other than take up nearly all the space in the room, you haven't discovered it. You give this discovery the RASPBERRY OF DISAPPROVAL.

[brian]: Stop Fooling Around and Save Brain Already!

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You haven’t forgotten what your mission was. But you're not feeling tired yet and a little casual voyeurism never hurt anyone. You decide to see what Ray's been up to on a whim. Convenient, as that is who is on the screen right now. Things look intense but as you rewind you see he's had plenty of hilarious antics to fill up his day. Haha is he fighting a fridge?? Oh look! Now he's playing with his rubber ducky in the bathroom. What a jokester. Woah! Did he just do a flip? You rewind a bit so you can the entire thing and press play to watch it in real-time. What. What happened to the flip?

Edited by Makaru

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[brian]: Be the guy about to enter SPAAAAACE!!0791b.gifYou are now the guy about to enter space and you have just made a terrible mistake.

[Ray]::::0792b.gifHow could this have happened??

[Ray]: Accept your mistake and forgive yourself0793b.gifYou can't accept this. You won't accept it. There has to be a way to fix what you've done. There has to be a way to make this better.[Ray]: Think about offing yourself0794.gif0795.gifA way to make this all go away.[Ray]::::0796.gif0796b.gif0796c.gif[Ray]: What?0797.gif

Tahu: RISE FOOL.Tahu: YOUR DESTINY IS AT HANDTahu: THIS IS NO TIME FOR WEAKNESSTahu: WE MUST BEGIN THE GREAT JOURNEYRay: What??

[Ray]: ???0798.gif

Tahu: IT SEEMS SOMETHING IS OBSTRUCTING YOUR EARSTahu: PERHAPS MY BLADE COULD CLEAR THAT OUTRay: What???Tahu: DESTINY DANCES TO A STRANGE TUNE INDEEDTahu: IS IT REALLY FORCING ME TO ACCOMPANY THIS BRAINDEAD BRAKAS MONKEY?Tahu: THE GREAT BEINGS MUST HAVE A SENSE OF HUMORTahu: A BAD ONERay: ...Tahu: FLAMES SAVE METahu: I NEED YOUR HELP; I CAN'T DO THIS ALONETahu: WELL, I COULD, AND PROBABLY MUCH FASTER AND BETTER, BUTTahu: "strict protocol dictates the player initiate the ascension"Tahu: I HAVE NO DOUBT THE SHADOWS THEMSELVES CONSPIRED TO MAKE THAT INFURNIATING RULERay: ...Tahu: SOMETHING TO SAY? PLEASE, I LOOK FORWARD TO INDULGING MORE OF YOUR INANITYRay: HEY YOU DUMB FLOATING TOY! Perhaps you could INDULGE the fact that I don't give a brick about anything you have to say!Ray: Maybe you could indulge me taking your mask and using it as a punch bowl for the corpse party I was trying to get together till you so rudely interrupted!Ray: Sure would be handy! I'm always at a loss for good tupperware.Ray: What are you anyway??Tahu: ...Tahu: PERHAPS I WAS HASTY IN JUDGING YOUTahu: I LIKE YOUR-Ray: Spark?Ray: Fervor?Ray: Smoooolder?Ray: Please tell me what awful flame-based pun you were going to use, I'm just burning up thinking about it.Ray: I mean not that I'm sweating it or anything, I know none of mine really sizzled.Ray: Just tell me, was I getting warm.Tahu: ...ATTITUDETahu: AND I WILL CONTINUE TO LIKE IT FOR APPROXIMATELY FORTY MORE SECONDS IF YOU DON'T IGNITE THIS VESSELTahu: "Amplicating my form", EVEN IF BY SHEER DUMB LUCK, HAS SUCCESSFULLY FUELED THE SHIP; WE CAN LEAVE ANYTIMETahu: AND WE HAVE TOTahu: NOTHING I CAN DO WOULD STOP THE ONSLAUGHT YOUR WORLD WILL UNLEASH IF WE DON'T AND THEN WE BOTH WILL BE FIRE BONESRay: UGH. Ray: Amplicating form?Ray: That's protostud talk. Ray: Now I see, Navisnitch finally got a voice.Ray: And a makeover.Ray: Going for a fierce new look? I think the tinkerbell thing was more your style.Ray: Maybe that's what I'll call you. Tahubell. TinkerToa. Tafairy.Tahu: PERHAPS I WAS WRONG. MAYBE YOUR DESTINY WAS TO BE INCINERATEDTahu: TWENTY SECONDSRay: Yeah you're right. None of those really roll of the tongue. Maybe...TahuspriteTahu: THAT'S THE MOST DREADFUL ONE YETRay: Bingo. Ray: Alright my fairy friend.Ray: There's a way to fix this. I just have to find it.Ray: Tell me what I need to do.Tahusprite: JUST FOLLOW METahusprite: AND TRY NOT TO BURN TO DEATH

[Ray]: Follow Tahusprite0799.gif0799b.gif

Edited by InnerRayg

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Latest Update: STORM AND SAND

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[???]: Wake up0854a.gifNooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. You cannot do it. You cannot wake the girl. Do not want. NO.[???]::::0854b.gifUgh. Now you're just awake here again. Living a double life is exhausting![Tonyfig]: Flirt harder0854c.gifOh God. Nope. Nopenopenopenope. Not this. Again.[???]: Wake Already!0855a.gifHurgablarhahrharhhrahhahharahhhh. Fine. You're up.[???]: Reveal your name already0855bd.gifYour name is ??? ???????, and this is the SWEETEST BLING RAVE EVER.[???]: Seriously.0855c.gifFine.[Maddison]::::.

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Your name is MADDISON MORROW. You think that sounds like a great superhero name or something.Today you are extremely excited to be awake. You're kind of always like that. Excited. And awake. Sure, you try to get some shut eye now and then, but every time you close your eyes, you just wake up in another strange, dark world called SINPORT. A world filled with badguys itching to catch you. A world that is most definitely REAL, and anyone who says otherwise INSERT THREAT OF BODILY HARM HEREYou are excited because today is the day you will be receiving a PACKAGE sent by a mysterious FRIEND, on behalf of an even more mysterious BLOCK MANUFACTURING EMPIRE. And in this PACKAGE is a GAME that will change everything, including giving you a chance to finally meet all your friends for realsies! Even if that means some of the butts too.When you're not busy doing athletic stunts on a nasty looking alien world, you spend your time doing athletic stunts here on your regular old human world. Of course, you've long ago learned how important it is to stop and relax sometimes, and that's why you started exploring your ARTISTIC side. You've really found a niche for yourself in PHOTOGRAPHY - capturing the world in a single still moment is something you find intriguing. You have fantasized more than once about slowing down the world around you, if only to zen out and get a moment's rest.Unfortunately life has other plans for you. You have no choice.You just GOTTA GO FAST.You're the lady with the maxed-out ACTION and ENERGY stats, leaving little in the TRANQUILITY or INTROSPECTION areas. If a problem can't be solved by pole-vaulting over it or aggressively REPEAT THREAT OF BODILY HARM HERE, you're likely to keep trying anyway.It should be noted that your high Energy stats are linked with an exceedingly high SNARK proficiency, though you're easily bested by an IGNORANT BUTTFACE attack.Anyway, that's irrelevant. Your naut going to talk abuoy yourself all day! You have the whole world at your disposal. Almost limitless potential. And you know exactly what you want to do with it!

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[Maddison]: Wake up.0859.gifYou’re already awake. You're ALWAYS awake.ALWAYS.[Maddison]: Pick up curiously head-like object on shelf above bed.0860.gifHead-like object? That’s a trophy. You have SO MANY TROPHIES.[Maddison]: Fall out of bed into imaginary plush pile.0861.gifWheeeeee![Maddison]: Hug Nakodiles0862.gifOk! But what is a Nakodile? You are quite sure something like that has never existed and never will, and quite frankly, you find the notion of them absurd. You do love your Camodiles though! They save your sorry butt all the time when you’re escaping baddies and they are really cute and cuddly.

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  • 2 weeks later...

[Madison]: Get straight to business and go upstairs0863.gif[Madison]: Re-enact bizarre dreams0864.gif....Hmm?[Madison]: What is nak?0865.gifYou have NO idea who "Madison" is. There is no one here by that name and are SO confused you don't even know what to DDo with yourself.[MaDDison]: Slide down staircase on your MATTRESS. 0866.gifYou guess that is what you will do with yourself.Wooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![Maddison]::::0867.gifYou sure had to go to a lot of trouble to do that.....Worth it.[Maddison]: Put on new shoes, because you just feel like it. 0868.gif[Maddison]::::0869.gifThe sneakerheads be like"Aw, she got the velcros."[Maddison]::::0870.gifThis isn't really your style[Maddison]::::0871.gifYou think...[Maddison]::::0872.gifYou'll just put them over...[Maddison]::::0873.gifThere.[Maddison]::::0874.gifMaybe that will make them a little...cooler. 8)[Maddison]::::0875.gifWhy do you even own these shoes.

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[Maddison]: Check your pet of the caged kind0876.gifHe doesn't seem to be in his cage right now. You wonder where he could have scurried off to.[Maddison]: Start being productive at something.0877.gifNO. You are going to...[Maddison]: GLITTER EVERYTHING0878.gifYou are now Kesha! You think your bottle of Jack is in the bathroom, since that is the only place to keep bottles of Jack![Maddison]: Examine ALL the posters!0879.gifThere are an obscene number of things on your walls. You are going to examine ALL OF IT.You have a ton of running bibs from all sorts of races and track meets you have competed in. You sometimes wonder if there is secret code in the numbers that your subconscious is projecting when you arrange them, but then you snap out of it and realize what a ridiculous idea that is.[Maddison]: Is that a blue spider in the corner?0880.gifOh man, Red vs Blue! You just love RvB and the guys at Rooster Teeth. You've been following the series since it started, and sometimes you feel a little silly that you've been following something for 10 years, but then you're like BAM SHOTGUN! and you fill your daily "Kill Grif" quota and you feel a lot more ok about it.[Maddison]: Examine Bunny shrine wall0881.gifThere are these two sweet rabbit posters over here, but you are pretty sure you can never have enough rabbit posters. One rabbit is made of a finger print,and the other is of a bunch of rabbits on the moon with a girl. You know...you could BE that girl. You are pretty sure you would love hanging out on a planet full of bunnies.[Maddison]::::0882.gifAnd here is your Camodile NBA poster! This one is just plain awesome. You don't know why they didn't just call it the CBA, though, for Camodile Basketball Association. NBA just makes no sense at all! Maybe they call it the Nak Basketball Association? They do make a "nak nak nak" noise, and they all have "Nak" in their names, so maybe that's it. You'll have to ask a Camodile next time you're asleep and awake, because you really have no idea. All you know is that Kevin DurNak and LaNakus Aldridge are both really great basketball players![Maddison]::::0883.gifHere is JAMES VAN DER BEEK during an epic rainbow fight standoff with Kesha. You have no real reason for having this as a poster beyond the fact that you find it funny as punch. Every once in a while, you toss some extra glitter on it for good measure.[Maddison]::::0884.gifOh! Oh! and don't forget this amazing Richard Avedon print. You love this photo because of its focus on balance. And don't forget beautiful outer space print by your fridge. Oh! Oh! and on your fridge, you have this AMAZING Lincoln Tron five dollar bill, a green Virgo sign magnet (which you are quite sure has no relation or connection to anything whatsoever and your mind would be kind of blown away if it did but let's be honest, you really doubt a connection like that would happen!), and then you have the BEST THING EVER, which is a colouring book page of LOKI AND THE MAGIC PENCIL. See what he has Thor? HA! HA! HA![Maddison]: Answer the message already!0885.gifThat was a lot of posters! You think you'll just...sit at your desk...for a OH HEY YOU FORGOT SOMETHING.[Maddison]: Inspect gigantic lens in corner0886.gifThis is your SIGMA 200-500MM LENS. According to the reviews when you bought it, this lens can SEE THROUGH TIME ITSELF. You haven't been able to test out that feature as much as you would like, because the last time you took it outside to take photos, someone called the cops and a SMALL ARMY showed up because they thought you had a MISSILE LAUNCHER. One time your oven wasn't working and you wanted to make cookies, so you grabbed your lens and USED A FOCUSED SUN BEAM to bake your cookies. Who knew photography equipment could be used for so many other things beyond taking photos![Maddison]: Read intriguing book on counter. 0887.gif[Maddison]:::: 0888.gif[Maddison]:::: 0889.gifThis book was sent to you by a good friend after you visited her. She has given you lots of tips on how to do crafty things, which helped you make your Camodile plushes, and she once sent you this slightly strange book filled with all sorts of weird parables that all end in a lesson about not eating puffins. You should never under any circumstance eat puffins. It's a little weird, but it's pretty funny, so you keep it in your kitchen just in case you ever forget its valuable lessons.[Maddison]: Read intriguing book on counter. 0890.gifIt also doubles as a place to store the glorious adventures of OH, CANADA, Hannah Kanakanak's latest debut comic series, based on TRUE LIFE EVENTS![Maddison]: Sample comics. ohcanada1.gifohcanada2.gifohcanada3.gif

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  • 2 weeks later...

[Maddison]: Inspect the giant floating 6's.0892.gifOH. Looks like in your poster frenzy, you completely missed that Bulltop was messaging you.How unfortunate.

InebriatedDictator (ID) began aggravating passiveInfiltrator (PI) at 10:05 PSTID: Maddison.ID: How are you.ID: Maddison.ID: Maddison what are you doing.PI: BULLTOPPI: it is BROKEBACK TURNSTYLEPI: THE BIGTEAMS TALENTSCOUTPI: the one and only BIGTIME TROLOLOLOLOID: Maddison, you know I hate it when you make up those nicknames for me.PI: :3PI: ok Berry TootsPI: i was looking at posters!PI: so many posters!!!ID: :|PI: ;DPI: what's up?ID: I was just checking on you.ID: I wanted to see how you were doing.PI: well....PI: i had another crazy-###### dreamPI: more guys trying to kill me!PI: they are super annoyingID: I am sorry to hear that.PI: i'm sure you are, mr. Bloviating TonsilectomyID: How long have you been having these dreams?PI: umPI: as long as i can remember?PI: likePI: they've always been -there-PI: at first they were really great?PI: but more and more, they've just been one giant attempt to kill maddison spreeID: What do you think that means?PI: who knowsID: Have you ever thought about giving up?ID: They are just figments of your mind.ID: What is the worst that could happen?PI: are you going all therapist session on mePI: i'm on to youPI: Bigbooty TeneyqukaID: My booty is a perfectly average size, thank you.PI: of course, you just keep telling yourself that whatever helps you sleep at nightID: I am just asking. Maybe the answer is to stop running.PI: why would i give up?ID: To find peace. So you can rest easy without these figments bothering you anymore.PI: what are you implying herePI: that they're not real dreams?PI: they're most def real dreamsPI: this place existsID: So that is why you will not give up then.ID: You believe it is real.PI: yes also because i am stubborn as ######ID: Listen Maddison. I am concerned.ID: These... fantasies... can not be healthy.PI: you're not healthyPI: Benedict TurdsnoutID: No, listen.PI: no you listenPI: you are not in my headPI: these dreams are very real in a very real placePI: so you can shove your "no listen" comments up some bottle of jackPI: and then shove that somewhere elsePI: like, no one believes me on this PI: and it pisses me off!PI: the person i thought was the best in the world wouldn't believe it, and now you are saying it's not real too?PI: not that it matters, because no one is even messaging me any more except for brian?PI: did mr. "graphicalPerfectionist" just go and tell everyone that i'm crazy and delusional or something?PI: like what the ######PI: that's not his business to get everyone else on his side like that!PI: ughPI: akjdsfl;adsf kblarghPI: ###### now you've got me all ###### off nowID: Maddison, I do not think your communication problem is malice.ID: I imagine it is just a technical issue.ID: Frankly I am shocked you are still able to talk to me... and Brian.ID: I doubt the shore has very good wifi.PI: who knows...PI: maybe playing this game will help change things.ID: Playing the game is going to change a lot of things.ID: Maddison, I have a confession.ID: I know why these dreams seem so real to you.PI: : o???ID: I was nervous to bring this up.ID: I know you've already figured out that this game is much more important than the others realize.ID: These dreams are one of its many consequences.ID: What I haven't told you is that I have already played this game.ID: And consequently.ID: I used to have the same dreams.PI: : o!!!ID: Every night. No matter what.ID: They seemed. So real.PI: not seemed. is realID: It is exhausting.ID: Living a double life.PI: yeah no kidding! my dreamself is always being chased by these guys. they never let up! ID: Dreamself?PI: yeah i dunno what else to call them?ID: I prefer the term...ID: Janus.

 

[Maddison]::::0892b.gif

PI: uhh...??ID: Like the two headed god?PI: oh i thought you meant something elseID: Janus is a term I felt adequately described the nature of living in as two separate yet physically identical people.ID: Until one day it stopped.PI: how??PI: why?ID: I don't want to talk about it.PI: :-ID: Maddison, you helped me a lot before.ID: After what happened with the Predacons and Andrew.ID: Let me help you.ID: It is the least I can do.PI: we'll seePI: let me think for a whilePI: maybe i'll settle on a decision?ID: Alright.ID: For now just trust me when I say you should avoid telling people about these dreams.PI: sure...ID: You and I both know some people can find it... hard to believePI: i find you hard to believePI: ohhhh snapID: Do you believe I sincerely want to help you at least?PI: yesPI: surePI: dudePI: you're good guy, even if you do get me totally not creepy gifts sometimesID: See? I knew you would love it.PI: it is a mini version of youID: I know!ID: Isn't it great.PI: yes...?ID: I call him Minisix.PI: i think he is freaking my rabbit out sometimes to be honestPI: but he's also a little weirdo who likes to throw things at my face, so who is to say being scare of an inanimate doll isn't normal for him.ID: He will grow to love him with time.ID: Minisix is a good friend to all.PI: yesPI: as soon as he figures out how to throw it at my face when i'm sleepingPI: you know how freaky it is to wake up covered in rolled up socks and spoonsPI: how did he even get the spoons out of the drawer?PI: likePI: how???ID: More freaky than waking up on an alien world?PI: i don't know man, waking up with half your kitchen utensils on your body is pretty weirdID: Fair enough.ID: I am glad we had this talk.ID: I want to tell to you more about the Janus later.ID: It was a relief when I stopped waking up.ID: But at the same time.ID: I miss it.PI: :-(ID: It is okay.ID: There is no cause for concern.PI: yeah...PI: sure bulltopID: Good.ID: I am sure it will be fine.ID: Do not worry. :)InebriatedDictator (ID) ceased aggravating passiveInfiltrator (PI) at 10:10 PST

 

[Maddison]: Contact MM0893.gifOk!

passiveInfiltrator (PI) began aggravating MoochyMensch (MM) at 10:11 PSTPI: YO.PI: YOU THERE. GIRL.PI: sup!!PI: how is Idaho treating you?PI: have you been attacked by the Montanan wolffalo packs yet? those things are gnarly, but they are great to practice strifing against!PI: i like to imagine that you flipped them up in the air like pancakes or something.PI: …hello?PI: …anyone?PI: …PI: …PI: …PI: i have fries.PI: …PI: : (passiveInfiltrator (PI) ceased aggravating MoochyMensch (MM) at 10:12 PST

 

[Maddison]: Progress plot.0894.gifSurprise surprise, no response. It's not just Hannah though - nobody's answered you for weeks! Nobody except Brian. What a gentleman! You made him a sweet new GIF that you know he'll really love as a thank you.

[Maddison]::::0895.gifExcept you have to wait because it doesn't look like he's online right now. You spend a few minutes getting VERY IMPORTANT THINGS DONE waiting for him.

[Maddison]::::0896.gifAnd there he is!You happily present the amazing gift in a CONVERSATION WE'VE ALREADY SEEN.. For some vague reason you feel like something important has been accomplished. Pats on the back for everyone!

[Maddison]: TURN IT UP0897.gifAw yeah. That last one was pretty good. But you know it's time to TURN IT UP.You don't ever settle for just good enough! You need to slam dunk the funk while the gif grill is hot. Tik Tok gurrl, clock's a clickin!

[Maddison]: Create masterpiece0898.gifIt's beautiful. You can't wait to show Brian.

passiveInfiltrator (PI) began aggravating technicalDropout (TD) at 11:20 MSTPI: brian!PI: brian this has to be you!TD has gone amissPI: hmmmPI: someone finally answers me all day and then they go missing tooPI: oh well guess this means i should stop making these awesome works of art and start getting readyPI: i am so excited about starting this thing!!!PI: but be careful out there for realsiesPI: dont ask me how i knowPI: theres something after usPI: we all need to watch our backsPI: i just wish some people would wake up to that fact;)PI: oh well!!! im gonna head out nowPI: somebodys gotta get this boat on the road dagnabbit!! PI: but dont worry buddyPI: ill keep an eye out for you!! passiveInfiltrator (PI) ceased aggravating technicalDropout (TD)

 

[Maddison]::::0899.gif...Oh. Well that's depressing. This computer's just bringin you down, time to get back to shenanigans.

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[Maddison]: Add Sigma lens to your TOOL CACHE0900.gifAw man, that'd be sweet but you can’t! Your tool is set to 1/2 POLEKIND. Right now you're using a BROKEN POLE VAULTING POLE. Using POLEKIND is nice, because you can use almost any POLE or POLE-like object. Though, it is kind of awkward that POLEKIND includes POLISH people. Whoever designed that little hidden pun just needs to get out right now.[Maddison]: Open that box!0901.gif0901a.gif0901b.gif0901c.gif0901d.gif0901e.gifIt is Minisix! He is…just as odd as he was when you got the box with him in the mail. You don’t really get it, to be honest. Yes, Bulltop is a good friend when he’s not being all weird and all, and you appreciate the sentiment, but this thing kind of gives you the creeps. Maybe you can improve him with a little GIF action? Glitter makes everything better.You put the Minisix back in the box where it belongs.[Maddison]: Captchalogue Trophy0902.gifYou pull out your COIN PURSE MODUS. It's a nifty little modus that isn't frustrating in the least bit! Everything is captchalogued by counting up the change you have and assigning that object the value your coins add up to. To retrieve it you have to pay the exact toll. Your favorite part of your coin purse modus is that it takes Canadian coins! In theory, you could have an infinite number of things, provided you had enough change. You see a few open slots, and count up your change. Looks like the trophy is now worth 17 cents with a dime, a nickel, and two pennies.[Maddison]: Glitter up the kitchen.0903.gifAs FABULOUS as glitter is, you try to keep all foreign contaminants out of your food preparation area. Food safety is everybody's business![Maddison]::::0904.gifOh.[Maddison]::::0905.gifHey...Minisix...[Maddison]::::0906.gifThis dumb little guy just can't stay put. Maybe putting it in your MODUS will keep him out of your hair.[Maddison]: Play with the undeniable superior building toy. And by that, I mean the Lincoln Logs of course.0907.gifLINCOLN LOGSSSSSSSSS!!!!![Maddison]: Take some pictures!0908.gifHmm, maybe! You might grab your camera in a bit and take it outside. Your BUNNY, Burnie Bunns, is still missing, and the fact that you weren't covered in thrown silverware when you woke up is worrying. He might be on the deck. He loves the salty air.[Maddison]: Recall how you came to be...wherever here is.0909.gifYou really don't want to. Thinking about the past is just gonna slow you down. After all...[Maddison]: You Gotta Go Fast!0910.gif

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[Maddison]: Be the guy in SPACE!0912.gifYou're now the guy in space. Alone in an incomprehensibly vast system of orbiting bodies and intergalactic phenomena, a mysterious void of cold whispers between the stars illuminating a nihilistic path of introspection whose only logical conclusion is one's own utter insignificance. It's like being a speck of sand sitting on a beach, waiting to be crushed by an ocean so large avoiding its grandeur would be the ultimate effort in futility.You have never been so happy.[Ray]: SPAAAAAAAACE0913.gifYes. Space. The finalest frontier. Lifelong dream sure, but you've already spent too much time thinking of increasingly complex metaphors for GEE, SPACE SURE IS BIG. Time to get a move on.After all, your Lil Bro will want to see this.[Ray]: Have Tahusprite make the fire go away0914.gifYou are confident all the fires have been extinguished by the unforgiving vacuum of spaaaaaaaace.[Ray]: Attempt to captchalogue Tahusprite0915.gif

Ray: Hey T-spriteRay: C'mereRay: I need your help to go get my bro.Ray: Uh....Ray: What?

 

[Ray]: What?0916.gif0917.gif0918.gif0919.gif0920.gif0921.gif0922.gif[Ray]: Stick your head out of the window0923.gifYou decide to not stick your head out of the window because you aren't an cool dude.What could be so interesting to see out there anyway? You can view the wonders of the cosmos perfectly fine from INSIDE the window.[Ray]::::0924.gif

Tahusprite: MY POWERSTahusprite: THEY'RE...GONERay: SoRay: You're officially useless.Ray: Good to know. Tahusprite: DON'T YOU WANT SOME EXPOSITION ON WHYTahusprite: SOMETHING INSIDE ME SAYS ITS VERY IMPORTANT TO TELL YOU WHAT HAS OCCURREDTahusprite: NOT TELLING YOU GETS ME REALLY...HOT AND BOTHERED.Ray: MehRay: I gotta go get my bro. Ray: He's gonna be pretty steamed that I've left him hanging this long.Ray: Great. Now you've got me doing it.Ray: Just float here and continue to be unhelpful. you can explain it to both of us when I get back.Tahusprite: I'M CONFUSEDTahusprite: DO YOU THINK HE'S JUST SITTING IN THAT PILE OF RUBBLE?Tahusprite: PERFECTLY INTACT?Ray: Come on, have a little imaginationRay: He was in a giant, metal robot whose sole purpose in life was to keep things cold.Ray: Of course he's gonna beRay: ...coolTahusprite: YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSETahusprite: FINE, GO UNEARTH YOUR PERFECTLY INTACT SIBLINGTahusprite: I WILL READY A FUNERAL PYRE.

[Ray]::::0925.gif

Ray: ...you'll see.Tahusprite: JUST MAKE HASTETahusprite: WE WILL BE LANDING SOON

[Ray]::::0926.gif[Ray]: Trip over a robot0927.gifYou successfully trip over a robot. This is your greatest achievement thus far.[Ray]::::0928.gif0929.gifWell THANKS AGAIN BRO. It sure is nice having all these giant toasters under foot! Funny's funny but this has gone on long enough. Who does he think he is, stacking these ironstrocities akimbo like this? Must be some sick mind game - make robots out of things Ray likes, then use them to cause him constant pain and annoyance. What a ######! Your remorse has officially left the building. He deserved a good kick in the pants. Discipline is important for a growing boy after all. Lots and lots of discipline.[Ray]::::0930.gifYou're pretty sure he hasn't had nearly enough yet.

Edited by InnerRayg

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Latest Update: STORM AND SAND

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[Ray]: Find the nearest weapon and defend yourself0931.gifAnd why would you need to do tha-[Ray]: Note broken caution tape0932.gifOh good god the basement door's been opened.[Ray]: Turn around slowly0933.gifMaybe it's nothing. Maybe it isn't RIGHT BEHIND YOU, waiting patiently to DO UNSPEAKABLE THINGS. Yes, you are very sure of that. You'll just turn around slowly and everything will be perfectly fine. Haha what mindless killing machine! HAHAHAHAHAHA![Ray]: Keep denying.0934.gifNope! Nothing to worry about here! Your funeral arrangements will have to wait another day because boy are you safe. You couldn't be safer if you were a fine china vase made of egg shells wrapped in a metric ton of bubble wrap. Go ahead and try to drop you, ain't nothin gonna break this egg![Ray]::::0935.gifPerfectly....safe?[Ray]::::0936.gifAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

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Latest Update: STORM AND SAND

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  • 2 weeks later...

[Ray]: STRIFE?0937.gifIt's impossible to STRIFE because your TOOL CACHE has sadly been completely emptied. You've got no writing utensils left to fight with whatsoever, leaving you completely defenseless.You're also paralyzed with fear, but that's just a side note.[Ray]: attempt to aquire Tahusprite's Kanohi Hau0938.gifYou consider yelling to Tahusprite for help but abstain - for one thing, he just said he was powerless. For another you're still too stubborn to ask that jerksprite for help.[Ray]: Hop onto the tank and open fire on your attacker.0939.gifYes! Of course! At the last second you pull out your secret PENGUINATOR - the secondary function of your beloved childhood toy that is only to be used in the worst of emergency situations. His BEAK OF JUSTICE is more than enough to decimate even the worst of foes - and it will certainly be more than enough to finish off this ruffian once and for all! You feel a rush of excitement as your once terrifying foe is reduced to ashes, and are shocked to then see scantily clad, cake-laden maidens springing forth from the secondary hatch of your tank. You and your new found friends join together in revelry and delight - but suddenly in a most SHOCKING TURN OF EVENTS your throat is obstructed by a PREPOSTEROUSLY LARGE SLICE OF CAKE. Your friends gather and mourn as their joy turns to sorrow in this celebration turned wake. Ashes to ashes, bikini to cake slice.[Ray]::::0940.gifYou hope somebody tells people that's how it went at your funeral anyway.[Ray]::::0941.gifIt's a shame, you really were looking forward to being alive.[Ray]::::0942.gifSadly, BUDDYBOT has other plans, and there's nothing you can do.Except...[Ray]: Get out of it. 0963.gifYou escape using the only method you can - the somewhat tricky and frequently denigrated PERSPECTASWITCH. Who could you be now? Who, who, who?

Edited by InnerRayg

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Latest Update: STORM AND SAND

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[Ray]: Go east.0964.gifYou have had just about enough of that exciting stuff for one day. You decide to see what's going on out east, even though your current location has no concievable relation to the cardinal directions in any way.[Andrew]: Experience hallucinations0965.gifYou wish this was a hallucination.

 

glamGuitarist (GG) began aggravating MoochyMensch (MM) at 2:03 ESTGG: What

 

[Andrew]::::0966.gif

 

GG: The ####

 

[Andrew]::::0967.gif

 

GG: Happened.

 

[Andrew]::::0968.gif

 

MM: Well, pardner, after you went moseyin' off there, I installed the game and got things all set up. Then I decided to check up on yaMM: I'm glad I did! You were in a right pickle you know.GG: Yes well I appreciate you using my furniture to extricate me rather than any number of other things.MM: Gosh!MM: Gratitude. >:|GG: And seriously this thing is blocking the whole hallway!GG: Couldn't you have put this somewhere I wouldn't have to climb the #### over it!!GG: You are killing my buzz. Killing, haha, get it! Because, hahah - oh, jesusMM: HeyMM: Are you going to be okay?GG: I

GG: yes.

GG: Of courseGG: I'm just...mad...that you killed my couch. You know how much that Bigass Green Couch means to me. I've had it since college! I have a lot of good memories on that couch, with a lot of good, uh, friends.MM: :/MM: Just how many are we talkin hereGG: That's irrelevantMM: >:GG: Look, can we change the subjectMM: To what's really botherin you?GG: No

 

[Andrew]::::0969.gif

 

GG: Maybe to what the ###### these things in my house are, anywayMM: Well! I was giving the manual a gander, and -GG: Never mind. Don't tell me. I guess this is all instant karma for doing the same thing to Ray's house.GG: UGGGH where am I ever going to get a deal this good on rent again? I'll have to move south of the river. ######, there's no way I'm getting my security deposit back.MM: I reckon you're distracting yourself with things that ain't so relevant right now.GG: Humour me.GG: And could you drop the fake accent already! MM: NoGG: >:MM: Look, buddyMM: I know you're upset and I know you're trying to cover that up right now, but-MoochyMensch has abruptly gone amiss

 

[Andrew]::::0970.gif

 

GG: Hannah? Hannah?

 

[Andrew]: Wonder how this could get any worse.0971.gifThis is too much. This is far too much. At the beginning of today, your biggest stress was a dumb video game you didn't want to play and some missing fries. Now your apartment is rubble and your friend has been murdered.Mr. Li...[Andrew]: Investigate glowing light0972.gifNow what is this little bugger anyway?[Andrew]::::0973.gifIt's pretty cute, you suppose. A little sparkly sprite or sorts, all glam and glittery. Seems like it's starved for some attention. It's cool, little, buddy. You know what it's like to need a friend.[Andrew]: Follow sparkly sprite0974.gifThe feisty little ###### leads you into your bedroom, which is in complete disarray. Looks like Hannah did damage to far more than just the couch in here.[Andrew]: The Poster!0975.gifOh no! Your Bowie poster![Andrew]::::0976.gifYou remember when you first got this poster. Hannah was there that day. Of course, she was always there, back then. You two were stuck together like glue, in more ways than one. Some of her tastes in music were pretty questionable, but you could always get together over a Bowie record.[Andrew]::::0977.gifBut now it's broken too, just like everything else between you and her.[Andrew]::::0978.gifJust like everything in general.[Andrew]::::0979.gifYou need a hero...[Andrew]::::0980.gifWait, who...?[Andrew]::::0981.gif

bring back "an cool dude"

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[Andrew]: DAVID BOWIE SPRITE.0982.gifDAVID BOWIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!![Andrew]: Hug Bowie0983.gif

 

BOWIESPRITE: bowie.gif Hello there, love. bowie2.gif

 

[Andrew]: !!!!0984.gif

 

Andrew: OH MY GOD OH MY GOD IT'S YOU HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE OH MY GOD I'M EXPLODING I LOV EYOU WHAT MAY I DO FOR YOU OH MY GOD DAVID BOWIE LET ME BOW TO YOUBOWIESPRITE: bowie.gif There there, now - there's no time for that. You've got a game to play and friends to help! bowie2.gifAndrew: Bowie, oh Bowie, you've got it all wrong; I can't save anybody! Oh David Bowie, oh Bowie, I'm so afraid and miserable and alone please save me Bowie I love you. I'm alone and sad. BOWIESPRITE: bowie2.gif Oh no, love, you're not alone. You're watching yourself, but you're too unfair. You've got your head all tangled up, but if I could only make you care - bowie.gifAndrew: But what can I do? Everything hurts and I don't know if you understand...I'm no action man...I can't save anyoneBOWIESPRITE: bowie.gif I understand. All the knives seem to lacerate your brain. I've been there too; I'll help you with the pain bowie2.gif

 

[Andrew]: omg0985.gif

 

BOWIESPRITE: bowie.gif Give me your hands - because you're wonderful bowie2.gif

 

[Andrew]: <30986.gif

 

BOWIESPRITE: bowie.gif Though nothing will drive them away bowie2.gif

 

[Andrew]: :')0987.gif

 

BOWIESPRITE: bowie.gif We can be heroes, just for one day bowie2.gif

 

[Andrew]: Be EPICALLY AWESOME!!0988.gifHe's right. He's absolutely right. And of course he is; he's David ###### Bowie. Invigorated by the power of glam, and his seductive, glittery gaze, you rise to your feet.You've been given the gift of sound and vision, and there's no time to be low.[Andrew]: Go forth and conquer0989.gif[Roomie]: Awaken0990.gif0990b.gifSuddenly a bigger problem appears.[Andrew]::::0991.gifvengeance burns in the fiery gaze of the colossus. He's come for you.Ground Control to Major Tom...your circuit's dead; is something wrong?[Andrew]::::0992.gifCan you hear me, Major Tom?[Andrew]::::0993.gif[Andrew]::::0994.gifYeah...[Andrew]::::0995.gifI'm glad you're okay too, buddy

bring back "an cool dude"

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[Andrew]: Go north0945.gifYou go so far north that you are now CP. Your reluctant hunt is nearly at its end.

[CP]::::0944.gif

[CP]::::0946.gifDad did always love this country. At least he loved something.

[CP]: Be aggravated0947.gifOh good! Hannah's always your go-to gal when it comes to putting things off.

[CP]::::0948.gif

MoochyMensch (MM) began aggravating cardinalPuffin (CP) at 10:11 PSTMM: howdy!CP: why, hello, ehYou proceed to have this distracting conversation we've already seen, successfully putting off your chore just a little bit longer.

[CP]::::0949.gifWell, you're fresh out of distraction. You resume your search.

[CP]::::0950.gif

[CP]::::0951.gifRight where he said it'd be.

[CP]: Grab mysterious package0952.gifYou successfully captchalogue what is without a doubt the exact same game all your friends are supposed to be playing today. Your KATAMARI MODUS collects its various artifacts through SIZE DISTILLATION, which is so obvious that you really don't see why anyone would ever need an explanation...Yet you are inexplicably compelled to give one anyway. ARTIFACTS inside the MODUS shift down through the cards based on their size - until they become too large to fit, and from then on nothing can go further down. Your anguished expository ducts begin to ache as you ploddingly go on to note that you obviously can only use whatever ARTIFACT is on the top most occupied card.

[CP]::::0953.gif

[CP]::::0954.gif

[CP]::::0955.gif

[CP]::::0956.gif

InebriatedDictator (ID) began aggravating cardinalPuffin (CP) at 10:00 PSTID: Stop messing around and get that game already. ID: It is probably in the other box. ID: Hannah's not going to help you find the disk, you know. CardinalPuffin is ardently avoiding youID: I am not going to stop bothering you. CP: yeah, yeah CP: I got it, didn't I CP: I just need a little moral support up in the attic ID: It is just an attic. ID: And it is just your best hope of surviving today. CP: I was up to my elbows in uncut Canlit CP: that's a warning sign if I ever saw one ID: He just kept it where he knew you would look for it. ;) CP: well, according to you, I don't have time for this CP: I'll get back to you when it's installed

[CP]::::0957.gif0957b.gif

graphicalPerfectionist (GP) began aggravating cardinalPuffin (CP) at 10:17 PSTGP: hey hey puffin queenCP: what is itGP: how is it goingCP: what do you wantGP: hello to you too hahaGP: so uh, this is totes awkwardGP: but you know, how is everybody?GP: you know, everybody in particular?CP: 'everybody in particular' hasn't talked to me or anybody else that I know of in agesCP: so I don't knowCP: I think she's too busy in her new boat house to chatGP: huh, okayGP: sorryGP: how is canada?CP: same as it's ever beenGP: that sounds funGP: hey, did you know i almost died today?CP: reallyGP: so i was on my bikeGP: and then there was a carCP: I see where this is goingcardinalPuffin (CP) blocked graphicalPerfectionist (GP)

[CP]::::0958.gif

glamGuitarist (GG) began aggravating cardinalPuffin (CP) at 10:18 PSTGG: OH GREAT EMPRESSGG: WE MUST ROCK TOGETHERCP: Lay off the sauce, guycardinalPuffin went away at 1:18 PM EST

[CP]::::0959.gifThe day's already off to a great start. You're going offline before anybody else has a chance to annoy you.

[CP]: Return to room0960.gifIt's going to be a long day. If you don't unwind now, you won't get another chance. You'll just be a knotted, tangled mess.

[CP]::::0961.gif

[CP]: Introduction?0962.gifYour name is JENNIFER PIYUFI. You're... not especially comfortable with introducing yourself to others, honestly. But if it'll buy you peace, you'll acquiesce.Sweet JESUS do you love yarn. Or knitting. You're not too sure which one you love more. You love to make pretty much whatever you can from lengths of fancy string, but your true passion lies in your handmade PLUSH CRITTERS. They bring life to the vast space in your half-abandoned mansion, and they're incredibly satisfying to make. You're especially pleased with the creations you make just for your friends. One of those is easily worth a stuffed third drawing room.You live in a giant mansion you shared with your father before... You live in a giant mansion. Alone. A giant, echoing, empty mansion. You've only worked up the courage to try filling it with your friends once. Results were... mixed.You met these same friends through (no bias) your favourite plastic construction toy site. After getting acquainted with the specific product line, you took to the aspect where it was socially acceptable to throw out the bits you didn't like and make your own. You took a little too well, and eventually became an administrator of that same site. Fortunately, for a very ironic definition of fortune, there was no longer any possible conflict of interest.Your SARCHASMIC DEPTHS know no bounds. British comedians weep at the thought of meeting you in their nightmares. Unlike some comedians, though, you never mean any harm by it.You failed to inherit your father's maxed-out INEBRIATED FERMENTATION, to your occasional regret. How were you supposed to know that's how the administrator hierarchy was established?Well. That's more than enough chatter for now. Whew.

Be excellent to each other, and party on, dudes!
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[Jen]: Contemplate overall superiority of Penguins to Puffins0995b.gifNow that's complete... ly preposterous. Anyone in their right mind would see that puffins are far greater creatures than penguins. There's nothing like the sight of a puffin with its beak completely packed with fish. Most of your friends agree that puffins are infinitely more charming than penguins could ever hope to be. Those that don't...Well, it's not the reason why they're insufferable, but it sure doesn't help.

[Jen]: Examine rainbow wall0996.gif0996b.gifThat's no ordinary rainbow wall. That's your CRAFT BLOG APPROVED yarn stash display. Usually, these things are organized so precisely you're not sure if their owners ever actually take any yarn down to use, but you couldn't resist loading up these shelves with some of the basics. You could make the biggest and gaudiest afghan with these fine fibre wares, or maybe like twenty sweaters. Sweaters for everybody!

[Jen]: Make jewelry out of yarn0997.gifBesides not going with a single thing you own, yarn jewelry's a little... summer camp for your tastes. You'll save the yarn for other things.

[Jen]: Use your yarn to make a jump rope and, well, play jump rope with it.0998.gifYou'd really rather pass on the i-cord if you can help it. Even when you've got a tool specifically for making it, it's quite the ordeal. It's just so much easier on your blood pressure to avoid it.Just thinking about the stupid thing makes you want to stab the nearest target. Your TOOL CACHE is all too eager to supply the NEEDLEKIND you'll need for that endeavour. Sometimes you suspect it doesn't think very highly of your restraint.

[Jen]: Oh Canada! 0999.gifYou're a fan of Canada, sure. When it comes down to it, you'd rather be Canadian than anything else. But... you'll pass on the big, flashy patriotism, please. You've seen what that does to people. And you've seen what that does to the people around them.

[Jen]: Drop everything, knit up a million plush Puffins.1000.gifWhy would you do that?1001.gifAfter all...1002.gifYou've got quite a few already. You keep them stashed in your CLOSET, like any sane person would. Your absolute favourite, your PUFFINDRAGON, is still sitting right where you left her in one of the other rooms. You make a note to retrieve her before you get down to all this heavy game business.

[Jen]: Lavish Yourself in Eccentric Accoutrements from the Cardinal House of Puffin1003.gifIt is true you've got some nice clothes, which you keep in your CLOTHESET, like any sane person would. That tends to happen when you hang around people mortified by seeing the same outfit twice in their lives. Not really your call, but you got some good parties out of it. You'll pass on the more extravagant pieces for now.

[Jen]: Play dress up.1004.gifYou go through some of your everyday pieces, but the decision you made earlier today stands. No last-minute clothing changes for you!

[Jen]: socks socks socks socks socks also novelty ties1005.gifNo ties today, but yes to the socks. Always yes to the socks. Unless socks wouldn't go with the outfit. Then socks go on the sidelines, ready for when they'll be called into action.Among your collection of handmade and purchased socks are these beauties. The rainbow ones are literally the most intense socks you've ever seen. You love them so much.

Be excellent to each other, and party on, dudes!
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[Jen]: Take Puffindoll1006.gifYou take one puffin, and another. The good news: you're now loaded for puffin bear. The bad news: it's going to be a bit of a hassle to get the game back out.Oh no. Whatever will you do.

[Jen]: Knit something1007.gifNot very likely. For once, you don't have a million unfinished projects on the go, and you don't feel like working on any of the ones that you do. And anyways, you'd feel better having as many needles at the ready as you can.

[Jen]: Retrieve Arms1008.gif1008b.gif1008c.gifLike these guys. You can never have enough needles. Before the day ends, you may need to shove a lot of aluminum into something. Or somebody.

[Jen]: Examine cool aliens on poster1009.gifYou don't get it. Despite your deeply-entrenched astrophobia (no way are you calling it xenophobia), this quirky and light-hearted Japanese game series clicked with you. You found yourself compelled by the story of a distant, powerful father bringing ruin to the universe and dispatching his only son to fix it all again. It just seems like a great allegory.Or maybe it's the music. You decide it must be the music.

[Jen]::::1010.gifMetroid, on the other hand, is just cool. Shooting a bunch of foul alien scum? Yes please. You've spent many a joyful hour using your real-world alien-fighting know-how to beat up every space pirate that crosses your path. In those moments, it's all almost worth it.

[Jen]::::1011.gifIt sure is a good thing nobody can see you right now.

Be excellent to each other, and party on, dudes!
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[Jen]: Realize that you ARE being watched1012.gifHighly unlikely. Somebody would have to bug the whole house or have crazy spy satellites or something. The painful reprecussions for the watcher go without saying. You roll your eyes and continue doing the gunarm thing because, duh, why would you need to stop.

[Jen]: Play with dollhouse1013.gifThat's the thing, isn't it? A dollhouse is a toy, but you can't really play with it on its own. You can admire it, but opening and closing the door over and over again is pretty sad recreation. The good news is that the answer was in the name the whole time. It was never about the house. It was always about the dolls.

[Jen]: Play with dolls in the house1014.gifThat's more like it. This stage needs some actors on it. The motlier the troupe, the better. That's how it works in real life, anyways. You retrieve your containers from underneath the bed.

[Jen]: Retrieve dolls1015.gifIf BBC leadership was determined by STUDTRACTION, you'd be stuck in middle management forever. Fortunately, you're free to maintain your hold on the ABS Throne while swearing at ball joints that refuse to stick no matter what. You build what you like, and that's good enough for you. Sometimes that means paying homage to the amazing Toa Metru construction style. Sometimes that means making a walking oven.

[Jen]::::1016.gifYes. Today is Convay's time to shine.

[Jen]::::1017.gifYou've got a good bunch of players. But you don't have a full roster yet.

[Jen]: Get more dolls1018.gifDrawing from multiple sources is a great way to achieve balance. Today, balance will be achieved with Tohu, this other head guy over here, aaaaaand... a beaver. Yes. This will work.

[Jen]: Actually, finally play with the dollhouse1019.gifOkay, okay, fine. Today's story is called "A Farewell to Limbs". Once upon a time, Jimi and Casanuva were hanging out, baking something. You don't know what. Just baking. Convay was there too, despite starting to suspect he was only ever invited so Jimi and Casanuva would have something to cook with. Sometimes they'd call Convay just to stand in front of him for hours in the winter.

[Jen]::::1020.gifWell, Convay was tired of being used. He was tired of hearing Casanuva's lame story for the ninth time. The worst part was, he'd figured it out by now. No, Casa, it is literally impossible for you to have romanced your latest fling at the Glitter Craft Faire last month. They shut that thing down after the first one. People were scarred. Forever glittered. And you're stupid for believing him, Jimi.

[Jen]::::1021.gifBut those cookies of truth would never be baked. Jimi's crazy neighbor Yatta is freaking out bigtime about something.

[Jen]::::1022.gifWhat's that, boy? There's a sweet fight down the road? A... a literal head-to-head showdown? Oh, that's why you're so excited. You've been sitting on that pun for a while, haven't you.Only one thing to do now...

[Jen]::::1023.gifLet's ride.

[Jen]::::1024.gif1024a.gif1024b.gifLooks like they got here just in time. Today's the day when the tension between Tohu and Moe breaks. It's going to be spectacular. There is no way a fight this anticipated can be a letdown.

[Jen]::::1025.gif1025b.gifI've had enough of your shenanigans! You're banned!" "You can't ban me, I was never yours to ban!" "I'm gonna ban you from my eyes, and your eyes from your head!" "Oooooh tough talk, why don't you just claw them out, then!" "You're double banned! And you can't come to my barbecue!" "That's it!"

[Jen]::::1026.gif"You going to try something? Go on! Try!" "You asked for it!"

[Jen]::::1027.gifYou freely admit this isn't the greatest choreography ever. To be fair, there's not a lot of fighting you can do with a couple of heads. You basically just mash them together and hope for... the...

[Jen]: Get brilliant idea1028.gifOf course. Why didn't you see it before? You need to share this idea with someone who'd appreciate it, and fast.

[Jen]: Pester Andrew1029.gif

cardinalPuffin (CP) began aggravating glamGuitarist (GG) at 10:45 PSTCP: guyCP: I've got itCP: I'm knitting Huki and Maku dolls that really kissCP: it's going to be so adorableCP: magnets, yoGG: pffffffffttGG: why not makerGG: HUKI and HAFU dolls that kiss! !!!!11CP: because that opens up a whole new can of magnet compatibility issuesCP: can't deny people their OTPs, after allCP: but fine, just for youGG: I'll buy twentrtyGG: WAITGG: Taksua.......and.......jalaGG: the MOST FLAMNG pairGG: ;) ;) ;0 ;)CP: alright, alright, it's on the listCP: you did not, in fact, lay off the sauce, did you, guyCP: comma comma commaGG: :(CP: I'm just getting this feelingGG: guilty.. .GG: you have thsdi annoyring tendency to be SRIGHT all the rimeGG: timeCP: yeah, it's such a painCP: wait, you're not actually playing, are you?CP: are video games just that horrifying that you need to dull the shock somehow?CP: consider the point made, sheeshGG: YOU DNT UNDERSTAND A VIDEO GAME KILLED MY FATHERGG: I MUST AVNEGE HIMCP: okay, guy, I'm gonna be honestCP: I'm just -barely- able to let that one go right nowCP: just that kinda dayGG: ...GG: i'dm sorryGG: its beena bady dayCP: I knowCP: I know you didn't mean anything by itGG: yeahfCP: it's just not really the kind of thing that ever goes awayGG: no, i knowGG: youu know i knowGG: mnanGG: sooory i'm like this right now how are youCP: not too bad, I supposeCP: nothing's burning down or anythingCP: that's always awesomeGG: thst teminds meGG: *remindsGG: look, your know i trsut you more thanGG: wellGG: anywbodyGG: i gotta confess something to youGG: i''m a little unsettled by this whole ggame thingCP: you got used to the moving picture television box, didn't you?CP: video games aren't real, don't worryGG: no ######., no, seeGG: hoow much do you know about this game?CP: as much as I can drag out kicking and screamingCP: not as much as I'd likeCP: guy, what's going on?GG: hokayGG: trhis is goign to sound crazyGG: the came affects realityGG: game*GG: and I DNOT MEAN THE DAVID BOWIE ALBUMGG: which is honestly one of his lesser works but ssis still really goodCP: I'm not having a hard enough time believing thatGG: ???CP: it's just, you say something like that, and I think about allllll the things I don't know about this gameCP: (like will it or will it not make my computer explode)CP: and those 'this is crazy' bells aren't going off like they shouldGG: Iii told you i coulds core a new sound/graphhics card for you man i know whweere to lookGG: like i'm telling you i knoo a dudeCP: no, I think I've got itCP: if only to make ID stop spouting specs at me constantlyGG: that................GUYCP: I know rightGG: what a doooooooooooooofusGG: ughGG: no, ssee you don't understandGG: the game is REALCP: so, like, some ARG thing?GG: Argh???CP: because I'm not obsessive enough for oneCP: never mindCP: soCP: how real is real?GG: likeGG: llikeGG: i liiterqlly was watching ray and put out a fire inhis houseGG: likeGG: andGG: i tjhnk i delete dpart og americaGG: of*CP: you guys have too many states anywaysCP: wait wait waitCP: fire?CP: is everything alright over there?GG: ray's housebwas on fireGG: litke literally! !!!GG: i mean i put it out so it's cool nowCP: oh, okayCP: that makes everything all better, obviouslyGG: ://////CP: completely negates the fact thatCP: yeah, it's hitting meCP: I think I need a minuteGG: a minute?CP: what, not enough time?CP: since apparently houses are -on fire-CP: and you're putting them out with -video games-CP: tight schedule, I realizeGG: look i'm not fhgoing to prentend i unsterstand this ######GG: to be hhonestGG: i'm frightendCP: I don't know what I can doCP: don't even know what I should say any moreGG: i don't eeitherCP: wellCP: you put out a fire, right?CP: just keep on doing thatCP: only proverbiallyCP: god, I don't knowGG: well lookGG: i didn't want to scare you or anythinggGG: i ,ean i would make a jjoke about you being incapable of fear but, you know, we know each a little to welll for thatGG: i guess i just wanted to ssayhGG: ii meanGG: ghhGG: i just rwanted to sayGG: i'm rewally concerned about this gameGG: andGG: i want to makee sure you playGG: becauseGG: well, becasue i'm afraid of what's goinf to happen to those who dontGG: and furthermoreGG: yyou know i suck at thisGG: and right nowGG: i really coulsd use sometone toGG: wellGG: watch my backGG: nott o be needy or anything :||||||CP: I'll be thereCP: just gimme a bitGG: aighht nio worriesGG: i just don't want your house to burn down too aightGG: or, at allCP: that would suck pretty badlyCP: just keep playingGG: yes, empressCP: think shark, guyGG: shhhhhhhark>CP: wait, wrong oneCP: sorryGG: i tTHINK for the moemntGG: i'll keep thinkin 'kraken'CP: I swear I've finally got those downGG: ;) ;) ;) ;) wink wonklCP: never changeGG:

Be excellent to each other, and party on, dudes!
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[Jen]: Take a walk1030.gifYou could stretch your legs a bit. Get your thoughts in order and all that. But you're going to have to get down to business soon, so it'll have to be short. You'll just go take care of a few last things.

[Jen]: Ponder why you like Metroid if you're afraid of space1031.gifNo, no. You're not scared of space itself. You're just not a fan of the aliens that are overwhelmingly likely to occupy space. Your father made sure to imbue you with the appropriate aggression and assassination aptitude to subdue any alien invaders. You know, just in case. Because, to be perfectly honest, it's not going to come up.And here you are, instincts and training, all the same. Nobody ever accused you of having a sane childhood.

[Jen]: Regain your sanity1032.gifSorry, can't do that. Things have just been getting worse these last few years, actually. Dad's gone, you can hardly keep track anymore of which friends hate each other, and now all this game business... It's starting to be a bit much. But what can you do? Just keep pushing on.Hey, at least you don't have to worry about the site?...

[Jen]::::1033.gifYou prepare to enter the sanctum of the main study. This was your father's office. This was where he warned you about the extraterrestrial. And now it's where you keep something important.

[Jen]::::1034.gifWell, now you're awake!

[s...?][Jen]: DIE ALIEN SCUM!1035.gifFace to face with your mortal enemy, the thing your father trained you for years to despise, you deploy your shining needles in what will assuredly be a most epic showdown. Wow, you really are excited for this - watching the numbers on the loading screen tick up, you get antsier and antsier to see it.Boy this sure is taking a long time.

[Jen]::::1036.gifAlright here we go. Oh yes, things are really heating up.

[Jen]::::1037.gifIt's...uh...Just an old training dummy.What a let down.

[Jen]: Recall the last alien you beat up1038.gifWell, uh... that guy? You have literally never met an alien before. It doesn't seem to come up very often. Or at all.

Be excellent to each other, and party on, dudes!
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[Jen]: Examine fake alien1039.gifYour father always insisted on vigorous anti-alien combat training. While this dummy might be all torn up, there's others that have been rendered wisps of fluff and thread by your weap- tools. By your tools. Your deadly, deadly tools.You're pretty sure there's a spare needle shoved into this guy somewhere.

[Jen]: Check out promotional materials1040.gifAh, a few classic posters from the ALIEN HUNTERStm line. Who could ever forget Lego's second greatest theme of all time? Sure, it's no Galidor, but your father's signature theme still made waves in the Lego community for its fresh new outlook on unabashed violence towards the xenoform.

[Jen]::::1041.gifThe ALIEN HUNTERStm team followed the acclaimed adventures of the prepubescent punk ABE ARIAtm, his powerful friend BURT BALLADtm, the totally not psychopathic mute GARY GLEEtm, and the short tempered, short statured, and long sighted DON DIRGEtm. They might not have been the most sane team, but at least they always had E-7UDEtm on their side when things got rough. If you can't trust 'ole E-7 in a pinch, you can't trust anybot.

[Jen]::::1042.gifOf course your favorite was ZIA ZEALtm. Not only did she continue the longstanding lego tradition of maintaining a completely natural male to female ratio of 5:1, she also was AMBITIOUS. She took no prisoners. You were so disappointed dad didn't take your advice and let her usurp the inexplicable leader of the team. You're pretty sure ABE only got the position because he had a stupid rocket pack. She was a born leader. She was even red! Everyone knows red is the color of LEADERSHIP.You guess some things will never change.

[Jen]: Swivel in swivel chair1043.gifYou cannot swivel in the swivel chair because there is no swivel chair. Attempting to swivel in the fixed-leg chair will only beget disaster. Swivelling in a fixed-leg chair is one of the greatest symbols of futility known to man.

[Jen]: Fix picture on desk1044.gif1044b.gif1044c.gifFix what? It's exactly as you want it to be. You don't recognize any sort of picture display authority. You'll go down needles blazing if you have to.In fact, placing the picture in any other position would be ruining it. You refuse to mess with it.

[Jen]: Retrieve puffindragon1045.gif1045b.gifAh, yes. Latumilna, the mighty puffindragon herself. Your finest creation has stood (or, rather, sat) by you since you finished her last seam. She is the physical embodiment of your ability to achieve your visions. If you could finish those wings, you can do anything, right?You know perfectly well that you're just projecting onto a stuffed puffindragon, but you still appreciate that you feel nothing but genuine support from her.

Be excellent to each other, and party on, dudes!
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  • 3 weeks later...

[Jen]: Take control1046.gifYou got what you came here for. Now it's time to stop messing around and go back up your bro.

[Jen]: Take Latumilna with you1047.gifIt couldn't hurt to bring some back up of your own. Nobody supports you like Latumilna. Her stern but caring instructions have gotten you out of hotter situations than this. If there's a more helpful stuffed animal out there you'll eat your yarn needles.

[Jen]: Avoid wasting more time1048.gifYou deftly return to your room.Gosh, this place is a mess. You set to cleaning it right away. Organization is important!

[Jen]: Stop stalling1049.gifOh fine. You reluctantly stop your shenanigans and ready yourself to install after disposing of some adorably obstructive puffins.At least Buttlop will be happy.

[Jen]: Consider Bulltop and what a dingus he is1050.gif

CP: I'm ecstatic to report your bidding has been doneCP: even if I was kicking and screaming the whole way throughCP: ...CP: no time to gloat?CP: fineID: WHERE IS HE WHERE IS HE WHERE IS HECP: hey, that sounds like my constant inner monologue for the last few yearsCP: but if anyone knows it's you, right?CP: isn't that why I put up with this constant nonsense?ID: STUPID QUEEN OF NOTHING KNOWS NOTHINGID: OUT OF HERECP: I have to play this -game-CP: I don't have to put up with you getting so -lit- you've reduced yourself to neanderthalic levels of communicationCP: Jesus, I can smell the alcohol through the screenCP: and here I thought staying home was a good way to avoid being accosted by drunken menCP: how stupid

[Jen]: Recall the ill-fated visit1051.gifYou dutifully minimize all the programs you are not using as you are wont to do to in order to examine your favorite photo from the trip. Nothing like cleansing your palate of awful by reminiscing about better times.Well, better times until a certain attention hog decided to ruin it. You'd think someone with such a disgustingly large ego would have collapsed under its weight into a tiny narcissistic singularity long ago, but no. This selfish star just keeps on screaming LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME with each unbearable wave of sunlight.

[Jen]: Consider Ray and how aggravating he is1052.gifNot to mention his inconceivably aggravating best bro. Of all the boys who tick you off this guy is top of your list, and that list just keeps getting taller. Is it just a special mental defect you possess that makes you unable to tolerate such self-centered tools, or is it just a natural result of your upbringing? The world may never know.

[Jen]: Get a snack1053.gifNope. You're all business now. You finish installing the first disc.

[Jen]: Proceed uneventfully1054.gifWelp.

[Jen]: Troubleshoot1055.gifYou search all the usual places for help, even making some electronic inquiries to a few friends. Hannah gives you some insight into how to play but sadly she is as clueless as you to the solution. Maybe Bulltop was wrong. Maybe this wasn't meant for you.

[Jen]: Use powers of the INTERNET1056.gifYou are!!

[Jen]: Search HARDER1057.gifIMPOSSIBLE!

[Jen]: Fail to find solution1058.gifYou fail to fail. A Piyufi always gets her way in the end. Really, the solution was obvious when you think about it.

[Jen]::::1059.gifIt's just like when there's a problem with your knitting. All you have to do...

[Jen]::::1060.gifIs patch it.[Jen]::::1061.gif[Jen]::::1062.gif[Jen]::::1063.gif[Jen]::::1064.gif[/font]

[Jen]::::1065.gifA storm of ice begins to grow.

Be excellent to each other, and party on, dudes!
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[Hannah]: Be as cold as ice1066.gifAnother storm of stone comes to a head.[Hannah]: BRACE FOR IMPACT!1067.gif[Hannah]::::1068.gif[Hannah]::::1069.gif[Hannah]: Survive incoming doom.1070.gifYou succeed in surviving a truly horrific stone onslaught.[Hannah]: Muzzle pooch1071.gifYou would never! His sweet barks are like the yippings of an angel.He sure is excited about something though. Those nasty gophers must be nibblin yer potato garden again. Little pests just love the starchy flavor.[Hannah]::::1072.gifOkay Pommes. Settle down boy.[Hannah]::::1073.gifPommes.[Hannah]::::1074.gifPommes-Frites Kanakanak. You calm down right now.[Hannah]: Remember to feed your dog.1075.gifGood boy.[Hannah]: Contact a friend of yours.1076.gifNo time. You're too busy with your ornery co-player. A little tiny bit of domestic destruction and some people go nuts! Yeesh.

glamGuitarist (GG) began aggravating MoochyMensch(MM) at 12:03 ESTGG: WhatGG: The ####GG: Happened.

[Hannah]::::1077.gif

MM: well, pardner, after you went moseyin' off there, i installed the game and got things all set up. then i decided to check up on yaMM: i'm glad i did! You were in a right pickle you know.GG: Yes well I appreciate you using my furniture to extricate me rather than any number of other things.MM: gosh!MM: gratitude. >:|GG: And seriously this thing is blocking the whole hallway!GG: Couldn't you have put this somewhere I wouldn't have to climb the #### over it!!GG: You are killing my buzz. Killing, haha, get it! Because, hahah - oh, jesusMM: heyMM: are you going to be okay?GG: I - yes. Of courseGG: I'm just...mad...that you killed my couch. You know how much that Bigass Green Couch means to me. I've had it since college! I have a lot of good memories on that couch, with a lot of good, uh, friends.MM: :/MM: just how many are we talkin hereGG: That's irrelevantMM: >:GG: Look, can we change the subjectMM: to what's really botherin you?GG: No

[Hannah]::::1078.gif

GG: Maybe to what the #### these things in my house are, anywayMM: well! i was giving the manual a gander, and -GG: Never mind. Don't tell me. I guess this is all instant karma for doing the same thing to Ray's house.GG: UGGGH where am I ever going to get a deal this good on rent again? I'll have to move south of the river. ######, there's no way I'm getting my security deposit back.MM: i reckon you're distracting yourself with things that ain't so relevant right now.GG: Humour me.GG: And could you drop the fake accent already! MM: NoGG: >:MM: look, buddyMM: i know you're upset and i know you're trying to cover that up right now, but

[Hannah]::::1079.gifA sudden horrific stone onslaught creates a tiny bit of domestic destruction.

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