Jump to content

  • Log in with Facebook Log in with Twitter Log In with Google      Sign In   
  • Create Account

Welcome to BZPower!

Hi there, while we hope you enjoy browsing through the site, there's a lot more you can do if you register. Some perks of joining include:
  • Create your own topics, participate in existing discussions, and vote in polls
  • Show off your creations, stories, art, music, and movies
  • Enter contests to win free LEGO sets and other prizes
  • Participate in raffles to win LEGO prizes
  • Organize with other members to attend or send your MOCs to LEGO fan events all over the world
  • Much, much more!
Enjoy your visit!

Photo

Whenua's Tomb: Ssc9 Entry

LOTR Moria SSc9 Tolkien Balin Whenua

  • This topic is locked This topic is locked
3 replies to this topic

#1 Offline Parazan

Parazan
  • Members
  • Lightning Voyager

  • 15-December 11
  • 339 posts
  •  

Posted Mar 04 2012 - 05:37 PM

Entry into the Short Stories contest 9: http://www.bzpower.c...?showtopic=3400's From: The fellowship of the ring(book),chapter 4:a journey in the dark,page 333-334.Whenua's tombThe light of the shaft fell directly on a table in the middle of the room: a single oblong block, about two feet high, upon which was laid a great slab of white stone."It looks like a tomb," muttered Takua, and bend forwards with a curious sense of foreboding, to look more closely at it. Matau came quickly to his side. On the slab ruins were deeply graven:Posted Image"These are Daeron's runes, such as were used of old in Onu-Koro", said Matau. "Here is written in the tongues of Toa and Onu-Matoran:WHENUA SON OF FHENUALORD OF ONU-KORO.""He is dead then," said Frodo. "I feared it was so." Onepu cast his hood over his face.-CDP
  • 0
Coming June 22nd: Your chance to become an ECC critic! Power of the pen in your hands!

#2 Offline Relapse

Relapse
  • Members
  • Hunger Sated

  • 20-August 09
  • 6,739 posts
  •  

Posted Mar 04 2012 - 07:45 PM

His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy.Oh boy. Let's get this started.

The light of the shaft fell directly on a table in the middle of the room: a single oblong block, about two feet high, upon which was laid a great slab of white stone."It looks like a tomb," muttered Takua, and bend forwards with a curious sense of foreboding, to look more closely at it. Matau came quickly to his side. On the slab ruins were deeply graven:<insert picture here>

Eh... Well, I know you wanted to use LotR stuff, but c'mon... At least use Matoran characters. It's extremely simple. Two ":" with the letter in the middle. Like so::k::n::i:

"These are Daeron's runes, such as were used of old in Onu-Koro", said Matau. "Here is written in the tongues of Toa and Onu-Matoran:WHENUA SON OF FHENUALORD OF ONU-KORO.""He is dead then," said Frodo. "I feared it was so." Onepu cast his hood over his face.

Son of Fhenua?1. Bionicles do not reproduce2. I question the judgement of choosing such a nameDoes Onu-Koro have lords?Also, "Frodo?"Now, I know this is a Short Story contest, but this is unnecessarily short. Also, I believe it is a LotR-themed contest. Not a type-page-and-replace-names contest. It could be considered plagiarism.To be honest, I would not enter this. It is overall a problematic controversy and could be DQ'd for plagiarism. Try writing a new one, longer and of your own writing.

Edited by Shadow Guardian, Mar 04 2012 - 07:52 PM.

  • 0

BZPRPG Profiles

IC:
 
"It comes with the job," Halfimus explained, "I'm not paid enough to give anything outside quick flavour descriptions."
 
So pay me more AuRon.


#3 Offline Mare Tranquillitatis

Mare Tranquillitatis
  • Members
  • Battling Makuta!

  • 08-December 10
  • 515 posts
  •  

Posted Mar 05 2012 - 07:47 AM

Agree with Shadow Guardian. Too short and, man, it's totally a cut-and-paste job.----- Lord of the Rings -----Titles: Dark Lord, Lord of Mordor, Lord of Gifts, Lord of Barad-Dûr, Lord of the Earth
  • 0

#4 Offline Black Six

Black Six
  • BioniLUG Member
  • BZPower Administrators
  • News Manager

  • 02-August 01
  • 13,006 posts
  •   BZP Staff

Posted Mar 05 2012 - 07:53 AM

Plagiarism is not permitted in the SSC forum.Thread closed.
  • 0




0 user(s) are browsing this forum

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users