Parazan Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 Entry into the Short Stories contest 9: http://www.bzpower.com/board/index.php?showtopic=3400's From: The fellowship of the ring(book),chapter 4:a journey in the dark,page 333-334.Whenua's tombThe light of the shaft fell directly on a table in the middle of the room: a single oblong block, about two feet high, upon which was laid a great slab of white stone."It looks like a tomb," muttered Takua, and bend forwards with a curious sense of foreboding, to look more closely at it. Matau came quickly to his side. On the slab ruins were deeply graven:"These are Daeron's runes, such as were used of old in Onu-Koro", said Matau. "Here is written in the tongues of Toa and Onu-Matoran:WHENUA SON OF FHENUALORD OF ONU-KORO.""He is dead then," said Frodo. "I feared it was so." Onepu cast his hood over his face.-CDP Coming June 22nd: Your chance to become an ECC critic! Power of the pen in your hands! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Relapse Posted March 5, 2012 Share Posted March 5, 2012 (edited) His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy.Oh boy. Let's get this started.The light of the shaft fell directly on a table in the middle of the room: a single oblong block, about two feet high, upon which was laid a great slab of white stone."It looks like a tomb," muttered Takua, and bend forwards with a curious sense of foreboding, to look more closely at it. Matau came quickly to his side. On the slab ruins were deeply graven:<insert picture here>Eh... Well, I know you wanted to use LotR stuff, but c'mon... At least use Matoran characters. It's extremely simple. Two ":" with the letter in the middle. Like so:"These are Daeron's runes, such as were used of old in Onu-Koro", said Matau. "Here is written in the tongues of Toa and Onu-Matoran:WHENUA SON OF FHENUALORD OF ONU-KORO.""He is dead then," said Frodo. "I feared it was so." Onepu cast his hood over his face. Son of Fhenua?1. Bionicles do not reproduce2. I question the judgement of choosing such a nameDoes Onu-Koro have lords?Also, "Frodo?"Now, I know this is a Short Story contest, but this is unnecessarily short. Also, I believe it is a LotR-themed contest. Not a type-page-and-replace-names contest. It could be considered plagiarism.To be honest, I would not enter this. It is overall a problematic controversy and could be DQ'd for plagiarism. Try writing a new one, longer and of your own writing. Edited March 5, 2012 by Shadow Guardian BZPRPG ProfilesIC: "It comes with the job," Halfimus explained, "I'm not paid enough to give anything outside quick flavour descriptions." So pay me more AuRon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mare Tranquillitatis Posted March 5, 2012 Share Posted March 5, 2012 Agree with Shadow Guardian. Too short and, man, it's totally a cut-and-paste job.----- Lord of the Rings -----Titles: Dark Lord, Lord of Mordor, Lord of Gifts, Lord of Barad-Dûr, Lord of the Earth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Black Six Posted March 5, 2012 Share Posted March 5, 2012 Plagiarism is not permitted in the SSC forum.Thread closed. Bio of a BZP Admin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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