Paleo Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 (edited) Maldro…I like it. And I think I know what you're getting at with the similarity thing. Might PM you to make sure.But anyway, I do like the backstory of the new Toa, although it might have been better to slowly reveal the story while they were still somewhat on the move. There needs to be a balance between movement and stationary-ness. Still, I do like the slowdown.Also, I don't think it's THAT many PMs Edited October 9, 2012 by Paleo Quote Flickr Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brickeens Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 I love how you keep referencing things. This chapter made me lol on several occasions.Oh and Paleo, can you give details as to how Maldro's weapons work? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sumiki Posted October 11, 2012 Author Share Posted October 11, 2012 Chapter ten is now up. This one will be important in later chapters, as there's some subtle foreshadowing going on. However, I must warn against attempts at conjecture, as they likely will be wrong. Quote avatar by Lady Kopaka Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brickeens Posted October 11, 2012 Share Posted October 11, 2012 Seeing as Toa are sworn to protect Matoran, I think it's strange that the trio didn't have more reservations about attacking the cultists. Sure, the cultists attacked first, but I'd expect Toa to do pretty much anything rather than harm them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sumiki Posted October 11, 2012 Author Share Posted October 11, 2012 I've never thought of all the Toa as having a 100% strict moral code. It's kind of a pesky situation, but they couldn't just sit around and let the tribute Matoran die when it became obvious that he was going to. Sure, they beat the daylights out of a few Matoran, but it saved a life (temporarily). It would have been different if the Toa actually did kill some of the cultists, but that would have been worse. Quote avatar by Lady Kopaka Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paleo Posted October 11, 2012 Share Posted October 11, 2012 (edited) Oh and Paleo, can you give details as to how Maldro's weapons work?Maldro wields two frisbees. He has no kinetic control over them, just throws them and retrieves them eventually.Love the new chapter. The balance between stationary parts and action parts is PERFECT, and I love the "prophecy". Plus, the pun was great . Also, I found it a little confusing that they couldn't see with the fire put out, but then I understood it was nighttime. Would've been nice to state that beforehand though. Edited October 11, 2012 by Paleo Quote Flickr Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sumiki Posted October 12, 2012 Author Share Posted October 12, 2012 (edited) I found it a little confusing that they couldn't see with the fire put out, but then I understood it was nighttime. Would've been nice to state that beforehand though.There was, predictably, no response from the dusky sky. Edited October 12, 2012 by Sumiki Quote avatar by Lady Kopaka Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paleo Posted October 12, 2012 Share Posted October 12, 2012 Oh. Didn't notice that .Still, it could've been a little clearer. Maybe talking about shadows or the orange light? Still, really great story, and I commend you for posting two great chapters in a row. Quote Flickr Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sumiki Posted October 12, 2012 Author Share Posted October 12, 2012 Still, it could've been a little clearer. Maybe talking about shadows or the orange light?I could probably have done that, but I didn't want it to come off as an unnecessary detail. Plus, I didn't think bonfires were lit during the daytime very often.Also: another new chapter, two days in a row! (I'm on a roll now.) Plot threads continue, but look for some old ones to get tied in with the next few chapters. Quote avatar by Lady Kopaka Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paleo Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 This one is great. I definitely got a concrete picture of the village, and the Matoran frozen in time is a nice twist. I really like my "joke" too . However, it would be nice to have more scenes featuring the mysterious controller, as opposed to more and more strange occurrences. Quote Flickr Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brickeens Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 However, it would be nice to have more scenes featuring the mysterious controller, as opposed to more and more strange occurrences.I think Sumiki just enjoys messing with our heads. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paleo Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 (edited) (I'm on a roll now.)Sumiki…is on a roll.Edit adding content :Also, I can't tell what is a reference and what is just a joke in this. You do such a good job of blending the references in.Plus, it needs more puns. Edited October 14, 2012 by Paleo Quote Flickr Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hahli Husky Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 Psssstt, as funny as "picture-chatting" can be, make sure all your posts stay on topic. Which is discussing the story. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paleo Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 (edited) Psssstt, as funny as "picture-chatting" can be, make sure all your posts stay on topic. Which is discussing the story. Ah. Understood. I've edited the last post to include more content Edited October 14, 2012 by Paleo Quote Flickr Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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