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Dark Mirror: Part I Review Topic

Shadows Epic

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136 replies to this topic

#1 Offline Pokemon Trainer N

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Posted Mar 18 2012 - 05:04 AM

Okay, here's the review topic for my epic Dark Mirror: Part I, which is the sequel to my other epic, Shadows. The topic itself is found here.Posted ImageCredit to Shattered Mask Productions for the banner.Comments and constructive criticism are very welcome.- Paradoxophobia

Edited by Paradoxophobia, Apr 02 2012 - 02:19 PM.

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Someday, you're going to need help. Someday, you're going to turn to me, because there's no one else left. And when you do, I will say 'no'. I will look you dead in the eyes and I will say no, because you let her die, David. 

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"There's a new world on the way."

 

Marked: Chapter 12 Coming Soon

Review Topic

 

slothy slothy slothpants

bzprpg 2013 y'all


#2 Online Onarax

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Posted Mar 18 2012 - 05:14 AM

So. Newest epic. Incommodo's in a facility for the insane? I see.
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#3 Offline Pokemon Trainer N

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Posted Mar 18 2012 - 05:16 AM

So. Newest epic.Incommodo's in a facility for the insane? I see.

Well, let's face it, he's Incommodo, and he came back from a parallel universe with a story about how he saved all of time.Where else would he be? XD

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Someday, you're going to need help. Someday, you're going to turn to me, because there's no one else left. And when you do, I will say 'no'. I will look you dead in the eyes and I will say no, because you let her die, David. 

marked.png

"There's a new world on the way."

 

Marked: Chapter 12 Coming Soon

Review Topic

 

slothy slothy slothpants

bzprpg 2013 y'all


#4 Online Onarax

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Posted Mar 18 2012 - 05:25 AM

I don't know, walking the streets, homeless and ill-treated?
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#5 Offline Pokemon Trainer N

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Posted Mar 18 2012 - 05:33 AM

*Shrugs*I dunno. I always pictured him locked up somewhere.
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Someday, you're going to need help. Someday, you're going to turn to me, because there's no one else left. And when you do, I will say 'no'. I will look you dead in the eyes and I will say no, because you let her die, David. 

marked.png

"There's a new world on the way."

 

Marked: Chapter 12 Coming Soon

Review Topic

 

slothy slothy slothpants

bzprpg 2013 y'all


#6 Offline Doctor J. Wotzon

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Posted Mar 18 2012 - 06:36 AM

So, new character, I suppose Pirok will return at some point, and that Reichenbach will have some rudimentary common sense? So far this seems to be better than Shadows, so don't disappoint me! http://www.bzpower.c...tyle_emoticons/default/mad.gifOn an off-topic note, why not check out my shamelessly-advertised prologue of my epic? :P
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#7 Offline Pokemon Trainer N

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Posted Mar 18 2012 - 07:32 AM

Actually, Les appeared in the first chapter of Shadows, Reichenbach has some common sense, and this will be better than Shadows. You won't be disappointed.I've already checked it, looks good, I'll be posting my opinion in your review topic ASAP. :P
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Someday, you're going to need help. Someday, you're going to turn to me, because there's no one else left. And when you do, I will say 'no'. I will look you dead in the eyes and I will say no, because you let her die, David. 

marked.png

"There's a new world on the way."

 

Marked: Chapter 12 Coming Soon

Review Topic

 

slothy slothy slothpants

bzprpg 2013 y'all


#8 Offline Doctor J. Wotzon

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Posted Mar 18 2012 - 07:54 AM

Ah, forgot about him then.Ahem, yes, ASAP. Very soon.
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#9 Offline Pokemon Trainer N

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Posted Mar 18 2012 - 07:56 AM

Yep. Reread C1 of Shadows, he's there. The murderer with the ring'll be showing up too.Indeed.
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Someday, you're going to need help. Someday, you're going to turn to me, because there's no one else left. And when you do, I will say 'no'. I will look you dead in the eyes and I will say no, because you let her die, David. 

marked.png

"There's a new world on the way."

 

Marked: Chapter 12 Coming Soon

Review Topic

 

slothy slothy slothpants

bzprpg 2013 y'all


#10 Online Onarax

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Posted Mar 19 2012 - 03:20 AM

So Arkrak will be appearing as well? What is his job exactly, other than random amateur musician (BZPRPG version), sculptor (Most versions) or guy who possesses a Frostelus as a lawyer (Techna version)?
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#11 Offline Pokemon Trainer N

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Posted Mar 19 2012 - 04:25 AM

No spoilers, Hubert. XP
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Someday, you're going to need help. Someday, you're going to turn to me, because there's no one else left. And when you do, I will say 'no'. I will look you dead in the eyes and I will say no, because you let her die, David. 

marked.png

"There's a new world on the way."

 

Marked: Chapter 12 Coming Soon

Review Topic

 

slothy slothy slothpants

bzprpg 2013 y'all


#12 Offline Doctor J. Wotzon

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Posted Mar 19 2012 - 11:25 AM

Looks like Reichnebach has a more original plot this time. Interesting.And Pirok has gone back to avoiding Incy, which is a nice touch.
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#13 Offline Pokemon Trainer N

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Posted Mar 19 2012 - 01:06 PM

Looks like Reichnebach has a more original plot this time. Interesting.And Pirok has gone back to avoiding Incy, which is a nice touch.

Yes, his plot is reasonably original.Thankyou. Yeah, Pirok probably won't be showing up in Part I.BTW, did no-one get the Rache reference? Come on, I thought the ring in the first chapter of Shadows was enough, but no. You all need more before you get ANY references. *Sighs*

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Someday, you're going to need help. Someday, you're going to turn to me, because there's no one else left. And when you do, I will say 'no'. I will look you dead in the eyes and I will say no, because you let her die, David. 

marked.png

"There's a new world on the way."

 

Marked: Chapter 12 Coming Soon

Review Topic

 

slothy slothy slothpants

bzprpg 2013 y'all


#14 Offline Doctor J. Wotzon

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Posted Mar 19 2012 - 01:09 PM

What's it even referencing? Some guy with a ring called Rache, doesn't ring a bell.
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#15 Offline Pokemon Trainer N

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Posted Mar 19 2012 - 01:13 PM

It's a joke. The first SH story, A Study in Scarlet. There are plot details of the novel below, so they're in spoiler tags.
Spoiler

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Someday, you're going to need help. Someday, you're going to turn to me, because there's no one else left. And when you do, I will say 'no'. I will look you dead in the eyes and I will say no, because you let her die, David. 

marked.png

"There's a new world on the way."

 

Marked: Chapter 12 Coming Soon

Review Topic

 

slothy slothy slothpants

bzprpg 2013 y'all


#16 Offline Doctor J. Wotzon

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Posted Mar 19 2012 - 01:21 PM

I haven't read it, or seen any adaptions. I knew Incommodo wasn't really that clever.
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#17 Offline Pokemon Trainer N

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Posted Mar 19 2012 - 01:24 PM

Well, he was clever enough to figure out it was Rache, although only from the fact his name was inscribed on the ring. XD(BTW, if you are interested in reading A Study in Scarlet it's available [quite legally] here)
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Someday, you're going to need help. Someday, you're going to turn to me, because there's no one else left. And when you do, I will say 'no'. I will look you dead in the eyes and I will say no, because you let her die, David. 

marked.png

"There's a new world on the way."

 

Marked: Chapter 12 Coming Soon

Review Topic

 

slothy slothy slothpants

bzprpg 2013 y'all


#18 Offline Doctor J. Wotzon

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Posted Mar 22 2012 - 05:07 PM

Well, longer chapters, good, little reference or two, good, original story, good. Shaping up pretty well here. I guess Incy is kind of the protagonist of these epics then, or is Pirok or Les going to take a starring role in the third?
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#19 Offline Pokemon Trainer N

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Posted Mar 22 2012 - 05:12 PM

Yep.I like references.Yes, it's an original story.Inc plays a big role in Dark Mirror, but Pirok (and Proditor) will be pretty big in The Eleventh Hour. Les is just playing a big role ATM. (BTW, his name is a reference to Detective Lestrade, from the SH stories)
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Someday, you're going to need help. Someday, you're going to turn to me, because there's no one else left. And when you do, I will say 'no'. I will look you dead in the eyes and I will say no, because you let her die, David. 

marked.png

"There's a new world on the way."

 

Marked: Chapter 12 Coming Soon

Review Topic

 

slothy slothy slothpants

bzprpg 2013 y'all


#20 Offline The Dandy Automaton

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Posted Mar 23 2012 - 07:08 AM

Ah, missed the Holmes reference there. I feel I should be a little ashamed of that. I'm gonna take the most obvious path and theorise Reichenbach killed the Toa. Y'know, given he's already been busy. :P
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Chapter four - Desire

Coming soon!

Short Stories: The Commute ~ Rasinov ~ In Your Absence ~ Hunter's Game ~ Suchia (Coming soon)

Epics: The Best Kept Secrets (Chapter 27: The Shadow Walker coming soon) ~ The Shadow of this Red Rock


#21 Offline Pokemon Trainer N

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Posted Mar 23 2012 - 04:44 PM

It's okay, there'll be a good few more to catch.Reichenbach may have been busy, but he's not stupid. He only gets involved when it's necessary.
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Someday, you're going to need help. Someday, you're going to turn to me, because there's no one else left. And when you do, I will say 'no'. I will look you dead in the eyes and I will say no, because you let her die, David. 

marked.png

"There's a new world on the way."

 

Marked: Chapter 12 Coming Soon

Review Topic

 

slothy slothy slothpants

bzprpg 2013 y'all


#22 Online Onarax

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Posted Mar 23 2012 - 05:55 PM

Wait, you now have a Lestrade expy?So does this mean Inc is Sherlock Holmes or something?
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#23 Offline Pokemon Trainer N

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Posted Mar 23 2012 - 05:59 PM

Well, Reich's partially based off Moriarty, and Les's been there a while.It's a joke. Inc obviously isn't Sherlock. He's a detective, who is quite good at his job, but he's too idiotic and... well... funny, really, to be Holmes.
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Someday, you're going to need help. Someday, you're going to turn to me, because there's no one else left. And when you do, I will say 'no'. I will look you dead in the eyes and I will say no, because you let her die, David. 

marked.png

"There's a new world on the way."

 

Marked: Chapter 12 Coming Soon

Review Topic

 

slothy slothy slothpants

bzprpg 2013 y'all


#24 Offline Doctor J. Wotzon

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Posted Mar 24 2012 - 12:03 PM

I like the relationship between Inc and Frustro, but it seems... Familiar. Some how ;)I wonder what these anonymous strangers have in common... Oh wait, there was no info, apart from they died :PI forgot to mention this earlier, but I like the reference to me in chapter 1 :D
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#25 Offline Pokemon Trainer N

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Posted Mar 24 2012 - 12:44 PM

I like the relationship between Inc and Frustro, but it seems... Familiar. Some how ;)I wonder what these anonymous strangers have in common... Oh wait, there was no info, apart from they died :PI forgot to mention this earlier, but I like the reference to me in chapter 1 :biggrin:

The relationship between Inc and Frustro is very much different, don't worry.Wait and see, you'll learn soon enough. Besides, there was some info...Thankyou. I was referring to both you and to Fishers there. XD

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Someday, you're going to need help. Someday, you're going to turn to me, because there's no one else left. And when you do, I will say 'no'. I will look you dead in the eyes and I will say no, because you let her die, David. 

marked.png

"There's a new world on the way."

 

Marked: Chapter 12 Coming Soon

Review Topic

 

slothy slothy slothpants

bzprpg 2013 y'all


#26 Offline Doctor J. Wotzon

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Posted Mar 25 2012 - 10:12 AM

Ooh, he's playing with his mind... Mind games...Looks like some psychological warfare going on here. I like it.
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#27 Offline Pokemon Trainer N

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Posted Mar 25 2012 - 10:15 AM

Ooh, he's playing with his mind... Mind games...Looks like some psychological warfare going on here. I like it.

Told you the relationship with Frustro was different. XP

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Someday, you're going to need help. Someday, you're going to turn to me, because there's no one else left. And when you do, I will say 'no'. I will look you dead in the eyes and I will say no, because you let her die, David. 

marked.png

"There's a new world on the way."

 

Marked: Chapter 12 Coming Soon

Review Topic

 

slothy slothy slothpants

bzprpg 2013 y'all


#28 Online Onarax

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Posted Mar 26 2012 - 01:11 AM

...Frustro will obviously become an antagonist.Anyway, I gladly await the appearance of Somewhat Competent and Responsible Toa of Sonics.
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#29 Offline Pokemon Trainer N

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Posted Mar 26 2012 - 01:22 AM

True dat, bro. XDHe should be coming in this chapter.
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Someday, you're going to need help. Someday, you're going to turn to me, because there's no one else left. And when you do, I will say 'no'. I will look you dead in the eyes and I will say no, because you let her die, David. 

marked.png

"There's a new world on the way."

 

Marked: Chapter 12 Coming Soon

Review Topic

 

slothy slothy slothpants

bzprpg 2013 y'all


#30 Online Onarax

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Posted Mar 26 2012 - 01:27 AM

So, what exactly is his job?
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#31 Offline Pokemon Trainer N

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Posted Mar 26 2012 - 01:32 AM

Unemployed/Musician.Not that many people like him, though.
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Someday, you're going to need help. Someday, you're going to turn to me, because there's no one else left. And when you do, I will say 'no'. I will look you dead in the eyes and I will say no, because you let her die, David. 

marked.png

"There's a new world on the way."

 

Marked: Chapter 12 Coming Soon

Review Topic

 

slothy slothy slothpants

bzprpg 2013 y'all


#32 Online Onarax

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Posted Mar 26 2012 - 01:52 AM

Ah, I see. So Amateur Musician. With a viola.
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#33 Offline Pokemon Trainer N

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Posted Mar 26 2012 - 02:02 AM

Yeah, pretty much.
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Someday, you're going to need help. Someday, you're going to turn to me, because there's no one else left. And when you do, I will say 'no'. I will look you dead in the eyes and I will say no, because you let her die, David. 

marked.png

"There's a new world on the way."

 

Marked: Chapter 12 Coming Soon

Review Topic

 

slothy slothy slothpants

bzprpg 2013 y'all


#34 Offline Doctor J. Wotzon

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Posted Mar 28 2012 - 01:18 PM

Arkrak's funny, explosions are big, and Reichenbach is kewl.

Edited by Wotsiznaim, Mar 28 2012 - 01:19 PM.

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#35 Offline Pokemon Trainer N

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Posted Mar 28 2012 - 01:19 PM

Arkrak's funny, explosions are big, and Reichenbach is kewl.

Yep.Indeed they are.What justification do you have for this?

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Someday, you're going to need help. Someday, you're going to turn to me, because there's no one else left. And when you do, I will say 'no'. I will look you dead in the eyes and I will say no, because you let her die, David. 

marked.png

"There's a new world on the way."

 

Marked: Chapter 12 Coming Soon

Review Topic

 

slothy slothy slothpants

bzprpg 2013 y'all


#36 Offline Doctor J. Wotzon

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Posted Mar 28 2012 - 01:22 PM

He's more psychotic and less annoying than in the RPG.
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#37 Offline Pokemon Trainer N

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Posted Mar 28 2012 - 01:27 PM

He's only as annoying as you think of him as being.He's just a bit more murderous in general this time around.
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Someday, you're going to need help. Someday, you're going to turn to me, because there's no one else left. And when you do, I will say 'no'. I will look you dead in the eyes and I will say no, because you let her die, David. 

marked.png

"There's a new world on the way."

 

Marked: Chapter 12 Coming Soon

Review Topic

 

slothy slothy slothpants

bzprpg 2013 y'all


#38 Offline Doctor J. Wotzon

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Posted Mar 29 2012 - 01:00 PM

Ooh, a prophecy! This is better than Shadows. And Vakama died! Dun dun duuunnn!! And Frustro's a bad guy! Dun dun duunn!! And Reichenbach has a pattern! Dun dun- Okay, I'll stop now. But this chapter is where it actually started getting interesting. I especially liked the bit with Reich's split personality.
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#39 Offline Pokemon Trainer N

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Posted Mar 29 2012 - 01:03 PM

Ooh, a prophecy! This is better than Shadows. And Vakama died! Dun dun duuunnn!! And Frustro's a bad guy! Dun dun duunn!! And Reichenbach has a pattern! Dun dun-Okay, I'll stop now. But this chapter is where it actually started getting interesting. I especially liked the bit with Reich's split personality.

Indeed it is a prophecy, and indeed it is better than Shadows.Yep, Vakama's dead.Perhaps...Are you sure? Wait and see the revelation coming up an hour from now... :evilgrin:Thankyou.Oh, you liked that, then? The split personality showed up in the RPG, too.

  • 0

Someday, you're going to need help. Someday, you're going to turn to me, because there's no one else left. And when you do, I will say 'no'. I will look you dead in the eyes and I will say no, because you let her die, David. 

marked.png

"There's a new world on the way."

 

Marked: Chapter 12 Coming Soon

Review Topic

 

slothy slothy slothpants

bzprpg 2013 y'all


#40 Online Onarax

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Posted Mar 29 2012 - 11:55 PM

Arkrak - He Who Breaks The Fourth Wall And Acts As The Only Sane Guy In The Entire Epic.His actions are also amusing. I also spotted an attempt at using him as a sonic screwdriver.
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