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Dark Mirror: Part I Review Topic

Shadows Epic

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136 replies to this topic

#121 Offline Onarax

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Posted Apr 27 2012 - 09:03 PM

I always refer to my fellow CCC Reviewer as Fishy.
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#122 Offline Pokemon Trainer N

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Posted May 04 2012 - 01:16 AM

Um... okay then...The next chapter should be up later, folks! It's good to be back. http://www.bzpower.c...tyle_emoticons/default/cool.png
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Someday, you're going to need help. Someday, you're going to turn to me, because there's no one else left. And when you do, I will say 'no'. I will look you dead in the eyes and I will say no, because you let her die, David. 

marked.png

"There's a new world on the way."

 

Marked: Chapter 12 Coming Soon

Review Topic

 

slothy slothy slothpants

bzprpg 2013 y'all


#123 Offline Doctor J. Wotzon

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Posted May 04 2012 - 01:19 PM

*Girly shriek of terror*He's not talking double figures!That was a dialogue triumph. Although, what I don't understand is why Incommodo didn't get Frustro to give him the info on Reich earlier?Also, the Marendar fight was a bit... Dull. No offence. It kind of reminded me of the final battle of Shadows, in a bad way.But Reich is definitely a lot more likable in this universe, so he made up for it. And no Arkrak dialogue? Not even a one-liner about Marendar being ugly? *Sigh*Yeah, I feel you're kind of holding back in this chapter.
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#124 Offline Pokemon Trainer N

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Posted May 04 2012 - 01:28 PM

That was one of the first lines for this I thought of. When I imagined teaser trailers, they always ended with the 'DARK MIRROR: PART I', and the words 'Your days are numbered, Incommodo', before switching to Reich's face for the 'double figures' part.And Incommodo didn't see Reich as that much of a threat before.I understand it was dull. It was more something I needed to get out of the way; an important part of the plot, but not THE plot. Also, for reasons that will later become clear, I had to keep the fight short.I can't help but hold back on Arky dialogue ATM. He'll be very important in the next chapter, though...The FINAL chapter. :evilbiggrin:*DRAMATIC MUSIC*
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Someday, you're going to need help. Someday, you're going to turn to me, because there's no one else left. And when you do, I will say 'no'. I will look you dead in the eyes and I will say no, because you let her die, David. 

marked.png

"There's a new world on the way."

 

Marked: Chapter 12 Coming Soon

Review Topic

 

slothy slothy slothpants

bzprpg 2013 y'all


#125 Offline Doctor J. Wotzon

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Posted May 04 2012 - 01:29 PM

You might say it's...The final problem!Huh? Huh?
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#126 Offline Pokemon Trainer N

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Posted May 04 2012 - 02:15 PM

I already made a reference to The Final Problem. Also, you should enjoy it. It will be a very good chapter.
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Someday, you're going to need help. Someday, you're going to turn to me, because there's no one else left. And when you do, I will say 'no'. I will look you dead in the eyes and I will say no, because you let her die, David. 

marked.png

"There's a new world on the way."

 

Marked: Chapter 12 Coming Soon

Review Topic

 

slothy slothy slothpants

bzprpg 2013 y'all


#127 Offline Scratch

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Posted May 04 2012 - 05:36 PM

I suddenly feel like there's gonna be a very 'Doctor Who-y' cliffhanger ending... Might just be me though
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Now fades the great harvest of my betrayal...


#128 Offline Pokemon Trainer N

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Posted May 05 2012 - 12:56 AM

Oh, I promise you all that it definitely won't be a cliff-HANGER. :evilgrin:
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Someday, you're going to need help. Someday, you're going to turn to me, because there's no one else left. And when you do, I will say 'no'. I will look you dead in the eyes and I will say no, because you let her die, David. 

marked.png

"There's a new world on the way."

 

Marked: Chapter 12 Coming Soon

Review Topic

 

slothy slothy slothpants

bzprpg 2013 y'all


#129 Offline Doctor J. Wotzon

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Posted May 05 2012 - 06:30 AM

...But a cliff-faller :DThe ultimate Sherlock Holmes reference. I have to admit I saw that coming from when Inc received the note, but you expected me too, nonetheless.However, it wasn't clear whether Reich was involved with the voices in Inc's head, and I guess that too was intentional?I liked how the Matoran actually thinks their working together instead of what we know to be true. Nice use of dramatic irony there.
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#130 Offline Pokemon Trainer N

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Posted May 05 2012 - 11:18 AM

I was planning that joke. XDI expected everyone to.No spoilers, Wotz. But now, we've seen that survival may not be quite what those voices have in mind...Thankyou. Told you Elax would end up an antagonist. XD
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Someday, you're going to need help. Someday, you're going to turn to me, because there's no one else left. And when you do, I will say 'no'. I will look you dead in the eyes and I will say no, because you let her die, David. 

marked.png

"There's a new world on the way."

 

Marked: Chapter 12 Coming Soon

Review Topic

 

slothy slothy slothpants

bzprpg 2013 y'all


#131 Offline Scratch

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Posted May 05 2012 - 03:12 PM

Wow... Just wow... Any hint on how soon we can expect Part II?
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Now fades the great harvest of my betrayal...


#132 Offline Onarax

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Posted May 06 2012 - 03:07 AM

Inc is obviously going to live. Because he has plot armour as the main character.
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#133 Offline Pokemon Trainer N

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Posted May 06 2012 - 06:06 AM

I am saying nothing.But, hey, I'll be smashing the plot armour to pieces in the the prologue. One of the protagonists WILL die. :evilbiggrin:
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Someday, you're going to need help. Someday, you're going to turn to me, because there's no one else left. And when you do, I will say 'no'. I will look you dead in the eyes and I will say no, because you let her die, David. 

marked.png

"There's a new world on the way."

 

Marked: Chapter 12 Coming Soon

Review Topic

 

slothy slothy slothpants

bzprpg 2013 y'all


#134 Offline fishers64

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Posted May 21 2012 - 04:17 PM

I always refer to my fellow CCC Reviewer as Fishy.

That's news to me. :PAnyway, have to agree with all those who disliked the Marendar battle. That was too easy. Way too easy. You definately could have made the countdown thing more dramatic and suspenseful. Nice twist with Frustro and the ending thereof. Although the sudden mention of the explosionist as a Le-Matoran was rather random. And now I will scramble over to Part II and see what you've got.

Edited by fishers64, May 21 2012 - 04:19 PM.

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#135 Offline Pokemon Trainer N

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Posted May 21 2012 - 04:27 PM

Not to me.I'm in that group, too. XDThankyou (Frustro is Latin for 'to deceive', FYI). It was a Toa of Air, and he did appear earlier on. In fact, he tried to stop Les and Frustro leaving not long before the explosion, if I remember correctly.Part II is exceptionally different to Part I, except it explains why what is happening is happening and some character backstory. (It's my way of fixing that 'random backstory' thing from Shadows that you mentioned)
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Someday, you're going to need help. Someday, you're going to turn to me, because there's no one else left. And when you do, I will say 'no'. I will look you dead in the eyes and I will say no, because you let her die, David. 

marked.png

"There's a new world on the way."

 

Marked: Chapter 12 Coming Soon

Review Topic

 

slothy slothy slothpants

bzprpg 2013 y'all


#136 Offline fishers64

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Posted May 21 2012 - 05:58 PM

Not to me.I'm in that group, too. XDThankyou (Frustro is Latin for 'to deceive', FYI). It was a Toa of Air, and he did appear earlier on. In fact, he tried to stop Les and Frustro leaving not long before the explosion, if I remember correctly.Part II is exceptionally different to Part I, except it explains why what is happening is happening and some character backstory. (It's my way of fixing that 'random backstory' thing from Shadows that you mentioned)

Yeah, I saw the two posts above that one referring to the comment I quoted. I guess I'll just have to tolerate it. The "Toa of Air" thing was probably a symptom of the time gap between me reading the beginning of this and the end. The details of this slip past me easily. Glad you are resolving the "random backstory" thing from Shadows - although it is late, your resolution is impressive, as evidenced by the comments you have already seen on it.

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#137 Offline Pokemon Trainer N

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Posted May 22 2012 - 11:05 AM

Not to me.I'm in that group, too. XDThankyou (Frustro is Latin for 'to deceive', FYI). It was a Toa of Air, and he did appear earlier on. In fact, he tried to stop Les and Frustro leaving not long before the explosion, if I remember correctly.Part II is exceptionally different to Part I, except it explains why what is happening is happening and some character backstory. (It's my way of fixing that 'random backstory' thing from Shadows that you mentioned)

Yeah, I saw the two posts above that one referring to the comment I quoted. I guess I'll just have to tolerate it.The "Toa of Air" thing was probably a symptom of the time gap between me reading the beginning of this and the end. The details of this slip past me easily. Glad you are resolving the "random backstory" thing from Shadows - although it is late, your resolution is impressive, as evidenced by the comments you have already seen on it.

Yup.Thankyou. :happydance:

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Someday, you're going to need help. Someday, you're going to turn to me, because there's no one else left. And when you do, I will say 'no'. I will look you dead in the eyes and I will say no, because you let her die, David. 

marked.png

"There's a new world on the way."

 

Marked: Chapter 12 Coming Soon

Review Topic

 

slothy slothy slothpants

bzprpg 2013 y'all





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