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The Chronicles Of Lerahk And Hello


Jinkmeister

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Deep below the surface of Mata-Nui, a large figure stalked around a massive cave, his tiny wings (which look oddly like a certain Toa of Rock's weapons) fluttering like those of a dainty butterfly."I am troubled by the discovery of the Mask of Light," He said in an strangely high-pitched voice. "It may prove to be the end of darkness everywhere, and without darkness, my new plans for a night light company will not flourish."This being, the Makuta, was not as evil as all said, but was simply trying to keep it dark so that he could create a flourishing night light business. Unfortunately, the EPA wouldn't approve his design yet, so it was still in progress. Over the years, exorbitant legal fees, and obnoxious amount of court proceedings, he realized that he needed a new approach other than continually adding and removing the grounding rod."If I create children, maybe they will keep the world dark..." As he said this, he ripped some leeches off his legs and arms (He had been keeping them there to ward of Flargen-Snarks, the bane of anything with butterfly wings), and stuffed them in a tube. They flew through multiple tubes, only stopping for a passing platypus with a fedora.Six large reptilian-looking robots started stirring once the leech-things had crawled into their faces and somehow turned into brains. Makuta looked pleased...until they shattered the pillars they were in. Then he remembered he had hundreds of pillars...so he was pleased again, since the ceiling was still being held up."I will call you....Pokemon" Suddenly an ominous shadow appeared in the hallway, and Makuta remember how vicious copyright lawyers can be.."Uh...I didn't call them Pokemon, I called them....Uh...Rahkshi! Yeah, Rahkshi!" He shouted. Slowly, the shadow melted back into all the other shadows. Makuta shuddered. No matter how scary he was, he knew lawyers had terror perfected."Great job, Dad!" Came 5 voices from behind."EEK!" Makuta screamed as he jumped several feet in the air, and came crashing back down, despite his dainty little butterfly wings flapping like mad."Sorry, Dad!" The 5 voices said. Makuta turned around to see 6 of his creations behind him. Quickly, Makuta habitually combed back the hair he didn't have, not since he started losing it in junior high. High schoolers were nearly as bad as lawyers...."Now," Makuta said as he composed himself, "What are your names?""I'm Guurahk!" Said the blue one, the only female sounding one."I'm Turahk!" Hollered the red one."I'm Panrahk!" Exclaimed the brown one."I'm Kurahk!" The white one spake."I'm Vorahk!" Said the black one.The green one remained strangely silent."And...you?" Makuta asked, cocking an eyebrow. The green one jumped as if shocked, and stared at Makuta with a grin such as that of a child."I'm Greeny!" He said, obviously proud of himself for coming up with it."Shouldn't your name end in 'rahk'? Y'know, because all your siblings do?""Uh...then Greenyrahk?" Greeny said, now appearing confused."How about Lerahk?""Greenylerahk?""No, just Lerahk""But I don't like the sound of Nojustlerahk!" He shouted, horrified at the prospect. The other five Rahkshi were obviously amused by this conversation."I should tell you he kinda...fell on his head." Guurahk giggled through her hand."Oh, that's just GREAT" Growled Makuta, throwing back his hands, his miniscule wings fluttering anxiously. The five Rahkshi burst out laughing."No, my name is Nojustlerahk, not Just Great" Makuta stared daggers at Nojustlerahk, who continued grinning stupidly. The other Rahkshi were in tears by now."We're going to be here a long time..." Mumbled Makuta as he clutched his forehead, his tiny wings fluttering in frustration as he tried to remember what the steps had been at his Coping With Small Wings and cool dude Kids seminar.

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So far seems a respectable comedy, and your Makuta is a nice change, especially his Night Light's business. My favourite part was Lehrak and his green-ness. I could see my self living with Nojustlehrak as a name, but anyways...I'm interested with what you can do with this!MTL

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Thanks! This is actually a rewrite of something I did on the previous forum. Made it a lot better than it was :P Considering also reviving my Toa Work At Kanohi Kreme, but I doubt it.Chapter 2Deep below the surface of Mata-Nui...(Why does everything happen deep below Mata-Nui?)CleanitallitmustbecleanedcleanitallitmustbecleanedcleanitallitmustbecleanedA lone Tahnok stirred. He felt a disturbance, as if a great stupidity had been awakened. He hated stupidity. It was the thing that annoyed him the most in the world, after tulips and quantum mechanics. The Bohrok Queens felt his awakening and tried with all their might to shush him, but it didn't work. No amount of The Three Little Matoran or The Brave Ussal That Could would calm this Tahnok."CLEANSTUPIDITYITMUSTBECLEANED" He screamed as he leaped out of his canister. The Queens didn't like this. They didn't like it one bit. Immediately six blue-and-white Bohrok leaped out of their canisters and proceeded to chase him. Somehow the flashing red and blue lights stayed on top of them as they WHEE-WHOO'd after him.Through tunnels they raced, the blue-and-white security Bohrok firing blasts of energy. The Tahnok took a sharp right into a side tunnel, causing the security Bohrok to overshoot him. Thinking he had escaped, the Tahnok slowed. Bad idea. From another side tunnel, three security Bohrok cut him off. Their superior knowledge of quantum mechanics allowed them to bend physics a bit. The Tahnok quickly turned around, but the other three were on that side too.The Tahnok morphed from his sphere form to his bipedal form, knowing he had lost. The security Bohrok also morphed. They aimed their laser cannons. They began charging. Suddenly-"WHEEEEEEEE" A green being screamed as it smashed through the roof and squished three of the security Bohrok. The four other Bohrok stared at him, dumbfounded."Did that hurt, Lerahk?" A voice screamed from above."My brain hurts!" It said happily, the quartet of Bohrok still staring."You can't hurt something that doesn't exist!" Screamed a different voice from above."Oh then I'm fine!" Lerahk shouted, a stupid grin on his face. Tahnok realized where the stupidity came from. He immediately leaped at the Rahkshi and started punching it over and over, but it didn't seem to feel his blows at all"Hello! How are you doing?" Lerahk asked. The Bohrok stopped and stared. The security Bohrok started walking toward them, charging their lasers. Without warning, a massive rock came through the ceiling where Lerahk had plummeted from, and smashed the rest of the Bohrok."That should have killed him." Said one of the voices from above"H-Hello?" The Tahnok asked in a mechanical voice, not noticing nor caring what was going on."Hi!" Said Lerahk, still persisting with his stupid grin."Hello" The Bohrok said."Hi!" Replied Lerahk in glee. Suddenly Bohrok's head twitched several times."My name...Hello?""If you want!" Said Lerahk, obviously pleased with himself for coming up with ANOTHER name!"Your name...is...your name is Lerahk?""Yep!" Lerahk said, nodding happily."You are supposed to be...death?" Hello asked as he got off. This was a hard language, but luckily, one of his neighboring brothers had taken over some Matoran and learned the language and imparted it to his neighbors. Of course, tenses were as hard for him as quantum mechanics, but he didn't know that."No, just dead." Lerahk said as he stood up."That is what I meaned" Hello said. So was the proper use of the suffix “ed”."So what are you?" Lerahk asked curiously."I...Bohrok...You dead?""No, I'm a Rahkshi!""Can I be Rahkshi?""Sure!""Even though...I...Bohrok?""Maybe you can be a Brahkshi!" Before the Bohrok could reply, he stood straight up."They coming...Follow me" He said as a chant of cleanitallitmustbecleaned slowly started Dopplering closer. The Rahkshi and Bohrok ran through random tunnels that looked nice in a feeble attempt to escape. It took them a long time, a lot of dead ends, and several stops for lunch before they saw the light of day. They burst through the cave opening, but the glee of freedom wore off rather quickly once they realized it was a several hundred foot drop to the ground.------------Next chapter will kinda bridge this together, so it'll likely be the least comedic one.

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Chapter III"Ugh...wha...what happened?" Hello mumbled, rubbing his head. He felt like he had never had before...as if the slightest suggestion that his skirt might not be as pretty as Julie's would hurt him deeply...wait, that isn't right. More...logical."Good, you're awake," said a cheerful voice, "You fell very far-down, but luckily, I was there to rescue-save you! Though I do wonder-think why you have an empty space in the middle of the head." The Bohrok felt the top of his head, where his little rubber mask should be, but it was nowhere to be found! Who would he have deep conversations about fire, aircraft, and the various functions of a rubber duck with!?"I'd love to know where that Krana got to, too...Say, were you the one that saved me?" Hello opened his eyes to see a tall green figure sitting next to the bed he was on. His mask was green and streamlined, with silver armor protruding from his shoulders and chest. Resting on the wall nearby were two large katana-like weapons"I just saw a falling shape-form, and acted before I thought-thunk." He was unusually cheerful."Whe-where's the Rahkshi I was with?" Hello started to get up. The green thing stepped out of the way."The lizard thing? He is the other room.” Hello sat up with an effort, and walked to the door. Upon opening it, he saw that he was in a hut suspended hundreds of feet above the ground, wrapped around the trunk of a tree. He thought that such as trees were only things the Queens told stories about to scare young Bohrok! He was certainly scared. Inside, he felt something stop for a second. It felt important, too, as if it controlled his vital fluids. He shrugged off the feeling as he stepped onto the porch, and followed it around the hut. On the other side was another room. Inside, Lerahk lay on a bed.Hello, Hello!” The Rahkshi exclaimed happily as he sat straight up. Hello was...startled, was the feeling?Hello, Lerahk.” He said, still slightly distracted by his new-found feelings and emotions.I already know your name, silly!” Said Lerahk as he swung his legs off the bed. He didn't appear to be injured at all, but it was Lerahk, so he probably had at least three broken bones and a failed organ. Hello realized he had begun feeling another new sensation...anxiety, wasn't that what the Queens spoke of? Silently, the tall green figure walked in.I never introduced myself. I am Toa-hero Lewa!” He said proudly. Hello noticed that the Toa was trying to discreetly keep his distance from the Bohrok. Hello did have faint memories of the Queens speaking of a time when they would cleanse the upper land of everything, but he had slept through most of that lecture. So, Lewa, could you tell me why I'm functioning without my Krana? And why you seem scared of me? And why Frodo and Sam didn't just fly into Mordor?” Hello certainly did feel ignorant now that he thought about it.Krana? Is that what powered you?” Lewa asked.Yeah, I'm a Bohrok, a machine, and without a Krana, I'm just a shell, yet somehow I function.” Lerahk stared blankly at Hello, obviously not understanding anything he had said in the past few minutes.Well, after I rescue-saved you, some technicians decided the best way to to turn you on was to give you sentient-thought. And you just seem-look like a bug-crawler! Very ick-yucky!” Hello felt offended at that comment, but he chose to ignore it.So I guess I owe you?” Hello asked. He already didn't like the idea of owing people things. Meanwhile, Lerahk started staring intently at Lewa's shoulder.Not at all! Of course, there may have been ulterior-different motive-reasons....” Lewa said apologeticallyWhat would that be?”We want to know where you came from, and what you are!”I'm a Bohrok, a robotic being from below the surface of the island. I felt a disturbance, and it woke me from my “sleep”, as you would call it. You see, there are three things I hate in the world. I hate tulips and quantum mechanics, but above all, I hate stupidity. So, when this guy,” he said as he jerked a finger at Lerahk, who was still staring intently at Lewa's shoulder, “Started coming closer, his blatant stupidity woke me up.”Is this true-right?” Lewa asked Lerahk.Yeah, my brothers and sister loved me so much, they introduced me to Hello!” He said, not taking his eyes off the armor on Lewa's shoulder. Noticing his stare, Lewa looked nervously at HelloWhat's he about to do-act?” Lewa asked Hello.He wants attention, ignore him”If you say so, I gue-” He was cut off by Lerahk gnawing on his shoulder.Shinyshinyshinyshinyshiny” Lerahk said over and over, though slightly muffled. A mouthful of armor didn't tend to make speaking easy.I...can see why you awoke,” Lewa said uneasily. Hello sighed, walked over, and wrenched Lerahk off, “So why are you not trying to beat-hurt or kill him? Does he not annoy-bug you greatly?”Yes, he does, and he is stupid, yes, but it's a different kind of stupidity. I can't quite put my finger on it...” Hello said as he set Lerahk back on the bed.Well, whenever you feel well-good, feel free to leave whenever you like-wish!”Thank you,” said Hello. “Come on, Lerahk, we're leaving. Speaking of which, exactly...uh, how do we get down?” He asked as they walked out the door. Lewa chuckled. He immediately snatched them both, and leaped off the edge.------------------Well, what do y'all think? Reviews highly appreciated.

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Chapter IVHello and Lerahk screamed as they plummeted again, the former in fear (Another new emotion), and the latter in glee. Lewa laughed also, though it was muffled, seeing as Hello had his arms and legs wrapped around Lewa's head in fright.“Hold on tight!” Lewa shouted, still muffled, as he whipped out his air katana. Almost immediately they braked, Hello nearly wrenching Lewa's head off. Lewa screamed in pain, and twisted in the air, throwing Lerahk and Hello off.“NOT AGAIIIIIIINNNN!” Hello screamed as they fell. Their fall was ended abruptly by an innocent Le-Matoran.“It is raining men! This is a message from God! Repent, all ye faithful!” He shouted, seemingly oblivious of the two creatures crushing him.“What's God?” Asked Lerahk.“I don't know, I just felt like we needed a break from the Great Pokemen.” Before he finished his sentence, a posse of copyright lawyers promptly ran into the forest.“Sir, you'll have to come with us for questioning,” they explained as they grabbed the Le-Matoran and walked out. One opened a briefcase and showed the Matoran a piece of paper as they dragged him.“I meant Great Beingsssssss!” The Le-Matoran screamed as he was dragged away.“So, Lerahk,” said Hello as he got up, forgetting about the interesting events. “What should we do?”“Why don't we take that cart over there and be traveling salesmen?” Suggested Lerahk, pointing at the Le-Matoran's abandoned cart.“But isn't that stealing?” Asked Hello.“But it belonged to that green midget!”“How do you know that?”“I don't, I am simply trying to justify our necessity for a plot device to catapult us into a situation that will require us to live up to this comedy's title.”“Did you just break the fourth wall AND say something intelligent in the same breath?” Hello gawked, now experiencing shock. Who knew there were so many emotions?“No.”“Good, because I-”“I did it in two.” Lerahk said, grinning stupidly, once again in character. Hello held his forehead in his hand for a moment. He then turned around and examined the cart.“While we're breaking the fourth wall, I wonder how different this comedy would be if it were in script form. I think, for one thing, there would have to be much more dialogue, right?”“Hehehe, bubbles.” Lerahk said. Hello just sighed, and turned back to the cart.“There seems to be a combination lock...”“Why would someone use two locks?”“Lerahk, why don't you just go over to that tree and talk to it about fast food or dolls or something.”“Okay!” Lerahk happily skipped over. Hello turned once again to his work.“Hmm, maybe if I melt the locks...” He pointed one of his shields at it, and tried to fire a small blast of fire, but only a couple sparks flew out.“Forgot, don't have my Krana...hmm...I know!” Hello proceeded to look up to the heavens, “Please open this cart, author!” Almost immediately, Lewa fell from the sky and landed right on the cart, somehow unlocking the lock. He then proceed to get up, wave merrily, and fly off.“Uh...right, thanks.” Said Hello. He then proceeded to open up the cart. Inside it were all sorts of little trinkets. “Geez, he must have been one heck of a collector...” He thought to himself as he went through all the stuff, discarding a can of green paint.Meanwhile, at a prison...“I swear, I meant Great Beings!” Ahkmou pleaded, green paint chipping off his armor. The guards simply ignored him, and went back to their heated, incredibly suspenseful game of Four Squared.Back in Le-Koro...“And THEN it taught me about all the employee benefits from working at McDonalds versus Burger King!” Lerahk said proudly.“Well, the way I see it,” Hello said, completely ignoring Lerahk, “We could parade around Mata Nui selling all this stuff, and we'll make a %100 profit, unless those pesky zoning laws come into effect, but then again, it would be considered a mobile endavour...”“So we're gonna sell stuff!” Lerahk said, obviously excited.“Yeah, Lerahk, we're gonna sell stuff. I wonder why this guy had all this stuff, anyway...Back in the prison...“I really hope no one steals my cart. I stole all that stuff first, fair and square!” Ahkmou mourned as he watched the guards fight over who would get to use the blue pieces.

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  • 4 weeks later...

An entirely new take on both Bohrok and Rahkshi. Refreshing. My favorite part is easily two of Hello's least favorite things--tulips and quantum mechanics. Hilarious! Anyway, only problem I can find is this:

 

“We could parade around Mata Nui selling all this stuff, and we'll make a %100 profit, unless those pesky zoning laws come into effect, but then again, it would be considered a mobile endavour...”100% should like so.Very nice!

I shall be saying this with a sigh

somewhere ages and ages hence:

two roads diverged in a wood, and I

I took the one less traveled by

and that has made all the difference.

 

-Robert Frost, The Road Less Traveled

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