Off topic, but...I really, really hate this new quote design. I can't tell where my quote ends and where my text begins.
One more thing to rage about in the Christmas spirit.
Chapter 159: A Christmas Surprise
In the Core…
Evil Tahu: …so you're the one who's been banging on my doorbell this late at night.
Obviously Evil Being: …I wasn't aware that the Core even had time.
Evil Tahu: …well…it does. And who in the world are you?
Obviously Evil Being: …the name is….4 Mask.
Evil Tahu: …
Obviously Evil Being: Ok, no, not really, that would be far too much resurrecting of a dead character even for this joke of a world.
Evil Tahu: You don't even look like a Rahkshi, anyway.
Obviously Evil Being: My name…is Speeda Demon.
Evil Tahu: …you must be from Hero Factory.
Speeda Demon: How in the world did you know that?
Evil Tahu: No Bionicle is named that pathetically.
Speeda Demon: …well…right, whatever. At any rate…I am currently a member of an army that is surrounding the Bionicles' house at this moment.
Evil Tahu: …really?
Speeda Demon: Indeed. Now, there have been many attempts at taking over the house before…but none of them have succeeded.
Evil Tahu: I'm aware.
Speeda Demon: Mainly because they continually seem to find ways to respawn…rather stupidly, too, I might add.
Evil Tahu: …where are you going with this?
Speeda Demon: I am here to offer a proposition.
Evil Tahu: …and that is?
Speeda Demon: You will shut down the Core for the next week. Let no one pass through the ethereal barrier of life to the great beyond.
Evil Tahu: …don't…wait…what?
Speeda Demon: If no Bionicles make it to the Core, then they cannot be teleported out of the Core and back into the real world, correct?
Evil Tahu: …uh…I guess so?
Speeda Demon: So I want you to shut down the Core so the Bionicles cannot respawn when they are killed…and in return…a common foe will be vanquished with no effort on your part.
Evil Tahu: …
Speeda Demon: …
Evil Tahu: No. Forget it. I have been tasked with the management of this bizarre location…and I will not simply go on vacation because you're trying to kill some people whom I may or may not like very much.
Speeda Demon: *sigh* Very well. (pulls out one of his golden swords and runs Evil Tahu through with it)
Evil Tahu: AUGH!!
Speeda Demon: If you will not agree to work with us…then we will simply take your place and control your location by ourselves. (wrenches his sword out of Evil Tahu's body)
Evil Tahu: (collapses on the ground)
Speeda Demon: You. Matoran.
Speeda Demon: Would you care to work with us and shut down the Core?
Speeda Demon: …or would you rather wind up like him? (gestures to Evil Tahu)
Matoran: …it's done. Core will be shut down immediately. (hurries off)
Speeda Demon: Excellent. Now there are no infinite live cheat codes for our enemies…and a clear path to victory for us.
Evil Tahu: …*gasp*…this will…shut down…the entire Core for everyone…no one who dies will be able to respawn.
Speeda Demon: Oh, I'm aware of that. (grabs Evil Tahu and lifts him into the air) I'm just not planning on dying.
Evil Tahu: …
Speeda Demon: …heh heh heh….HA HA HA….MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!!
Evil Tahu: …
Speeda Demon: …ok, that was a bit over the top. But still. (sends a bolt of electricity through Evil Tahu's body)
Evil Tahu: (explodes violently)
Speeda Demon: …the time of the Bionicles has ended. The time of the Namagahara…has come. (heads back through a portal into the real world as the Core begins to collapse and close in on itself)
Meanwhile, back in the real world…
Samus: What's the situation?
Tahu: It would appear that the entire house is surrounded by a…rather large group of Bionicles and Hero Factory sets from the other house.
Samus: …and what's that big lizard thing?
Tahu: Oh. It appears they managed to find an incredibly fat dinosaur somewhere along the way, too.
Xplode: (walks up)
Tahu: Any news?
Xplode: Nope. Outside of the obvious: "We're surrounded and this is looking really bad" stuff.
Tahu: …ah. Thank you for that.
Xplode: It does appear, however, that they have one central leader to their entire army.
Tahu: …and who might that be?
Xplode: That Toa over there. The one talking to that really fat dinosaur thing.
Samus: He's a lizard!
Tahu: Oh. Him.
Xplode: Some Hero Factory set kept calling him "Pat."
Tahu: …that sounds…rather…unepic.
Samus: Well, only one thing to do in a situation like this.
Tahu: Samus! You can't go out there! You'll get torn to shreds by that army!
Samus: Who said I was going out there? I was going to suggest that we blare Nicki Manaj music from every speaker in the house until they decide that this stupid siege of theirs isn't worth it.
Tahu: …that's a…surprisingly good idea. Let's give it a shot. You guys slightly open some windows…and I mean slightly, so they can't throw anything inside.
Xplode: We have mesh screens that would block any items thrown anyway.
Tahu: Just…make the openings small anyway. I'll turn the music on.
Xplode: On it.
5 minutes later, outside…
(Insert a bad mix of poorly written lyrics and swear words rolled into a song with some background music playing here)
Pat: …what is that…noise?
Pat: For the last TIME…I do not speak your foreign language.
Kraid: (holds up a whiteboard that reads: "I believe it is their battle cry.")
Pat: …hmm. Doesn't sound like particularly good music to get yourself pumped up to, but hey, who am I to judge?
Speeda Demon: (appears out of a portal)
Pat: Ah. Speeda. How did it go?
Speeda Demon: …it….went.
Speeda Demon: Evil Tahu is dead.
Pat: Ah. Unwilling to comply?
Speeda Demon: Yes.
Pat: Oh well. Such is war. And I assume the Core is…?
Speeda Demon: Offline.
Speeda Demon: No, I didn't bring a snack back for you.
Pat: You can understand him?
Speeda Demon: Well…yes. I took some online classes for speaking dinosaur back in my University of Phoenix days.
Speeda Demon: …perhaps I shouldn't have mentioned that.
Pat: You told me you were a highly trained professional with an advanced education!
Speeda Demon: Er…um…yes, that's right.
Pat: Online college does not count as advanced tactical military skills.
Speeda Demon: But it…I mean…what if…
Pat: Oh this is utterly ridiculous.
Meanwhile, hiding behind a car…
Takadox: …this is more than a little bit ridiculous.
Pridak: We're away vandalizing people's cars for one night…one freaking night…and already our house is surrounded.
Ehlek: Hey, on the bright side, at least they're not zombies too.
Pridak: I think I would prefer zombies here.
Takadox: Yeah. At least they're dumb enough for us to have a chance at sneaking past them. What do we do now?
Pridak: …I think I have an idea.
Takadox: Oh, great. An idea by you.
Pridak: Shh. This one's an amazing idea.
Ehlek: I hope this idea will save all of us versus the last idea you had.
Pridak: …what was that?
Ehlek: Screaming "they did it" while pointing at us and then making a run for it.
Pridak: …oh. Yeah. Sorry about that.
Takadox: So, tell us what this great idea of yours is.
Pridak: Right. Here's what we'll do. (whisper whisper whisper)
Takadox: …that's actually not that bad of an idea.
Ehlek: Yeah…assuming any of us know how to hot-wire a car.
Takadox: I do. I have plenty of experience with that in the past.
Ehlek: Why am I not surprised?
Pridak: Get into positions already. We're wasting time here, and the longer we stay out here, the bigger a chance we have of getting discovered.
Meta: …so…now, you understand what you have unleashed upon the world. And what Vecolity did to ensure that I would never reach freedom unless absolutely necessary.
Meta: …and now…you have freed me. For the moment, I owe you my tanks.
Meta: Now let me thank you in the one way I know how. (opens up a dimensional rift)
Tardus: Wait! What are you doing?!
Meta: …you simply seek power for the sake of your own self gain. You shall never, ever, come back to this universe.
Tardus: But, but I thought you were-
Meta: Thankful? Yes, I am thankful that you lack intelligence. Consider the fact that you are not already dead as expression of my gratitude. (hurls Tardus into the rift and closes it)
Meta: …wait…why in the world did I bother to spend all that time explaining the story of Vecolity to him if I was just going to toss him in a….oh forget it.
Meanwhile, back at the house, on the balcony)…
Master Chief: …(hurls a rock)
Hero Factory Set: Ow!
Zaktan: Ahahahahaha!!! Nice shot!
Master Chief: Thanks. Comes from all that Marvel vs. Capcom practice.
Tahu Nuva: (walks up) What are you doing?
Zaktan: Hmm? Oh, just chucking rocks at those losers surrounding us.
Tahu Nuva: …chucking rocks at the army surrounding our house?
Tahu Nuva: …somehow, that doesn't seem like a very good idea.
Master Chief: No, it's great. (hurls another one)
Tahu Nuva: …I really, really don't think this is going to work out that well.
Master Chief: What? What's the worse that could happen?
Tahu Nuva: I don't know. They decide to actually attack us or something?
Zaktan: …I thought they were sieging us because flat out attacking the house wasn't going to work.
Tahu Nuva: Or perhaps they're waiting for supplies to come in so that they can attack the house.
Master Chief: …supplies?
Tahu Nuva: Yeah. Like…that. (points)
Zaktan: (turns and notices a freshly brought in giant box that reads "RPGs") …oh frick.
Tahu Nuva: Yep. And not the role playing type.
Master Chief: Drat.
Master Chief: ?
Zaktan: Looks like we better start throwing, and throwing fast. We'll just have to mess up their aim. (grabs another rock and chucks it)
Tahu Nuva: *sigh* Why do I bother…
Next time: The battle for the house begins!