Chapter 172: So Long, Old Friend
On Planet XR-458…
MT: (blocks a blow from Deus's scythe)
Deus: Fool! You must fall! The galaxy will not survive without me!
MT: (teleports away from another blow)
Deus: (flings lightning bolts at MT) I must survive! I mus-
Taesh: (nails Deus in the back with a swift kick) I really don't think you must survive at all.
Deus: Argh! (stumbles forward)
MT: (takes advantage of the opening and slashes Deus repeatedly, moving too quickly to follow)
Deus: Ah! Ah! Augh!
MT: (slashes through one final time, and then turns his back on Deus) It's over.
Pillar of Xenon and Light: (flies up from the ground and hit Deus)
Taesh: (flies in and creates a whirlwind, spinning energy everywhere)
MT: …(leaps forward and stabs Deus in the chest)
MT: (rips his sword out and knocks Deus down)
MT: …well…at least that's finished.
Taesh: …it's over.
Taesh: Very well. In that case, I will-
MT: …(turns around)…
Deus: Tell me…how…could I have lost?
Taesh: ...does it really matter?
Deus: …ah. So even you do not know. Then there is little hope after all.
Deus: To save the universe from Xenon.
Taesh: …that computer! The one he was controlling! It's still trying to destroy the villages, isn't it?!
MT: …hopefully JL, iBrow, and Meta have taken care of it.
Deus: …so…in the end…you two simply ended up destroying the one thing that could have stopped Xenon once and for all, didn't you?
Deus: …I hope…you…are hap…py….(dies)
Taesh: …we should get going.
MT: I'll make sure that Voltex is stopped.
Taesh: And I'll check in on how that village is doing.
Taesh: Between the two of us…this should be a breeze. (hops out of the ship and glides away on his wind powers)
Voltex: (creates a vortex of lightning and sends it down upon the Toa)
JL: Meta! Do something!
Meta: I'd love to! But it's kind of hard to fight without any elemental powers here!
Voltex: (swoops in and grabs iBrow)
iBrow: Hey! Let go!
Voltex: (blasts iBrow with a bolt of energy and hurls him downwards)
Voltex: It's not quite so fun when you're the one getting beat up, is it now?
Meta: (charges towards Voltex)
Voltex: (extends a pair of wires and grabs Meta)
Voltex: (hurls Meta into a wall and zaps him with electricity)
JL: (leaps towards the wires and slices them in half)
Meta: (drops to the ground and shakes off the wires) There's got to be some way to get to him!
iBrow: …there is.
iBrow: …I should have known that this symbol meant something all along. (gestures to his arm plate) Now I know why your name sounded familiar.
Voltex: Ah. You finally figured it out.
JL: …what's going on?
iBrow: You were my AI. When I was with the Center.
iBrow: …and I…
iBrow: (turns to JL) I owe you an apology.
JL: This is getting so bizarre.
Meta: What's going on?
iBrow: Stall him for me! I need to get to the control panel!
Voltex: The what?
iBrow: Just do it!
Voltex: …humph. Stubborn as always. (charges up a blast of ice and freezes iBrow solid)
Meta: (dashes in and slams into the frozen iBrow)
iBrow: (goes sliding across the floor and crashes into the control panel, knocking the ice off)
Voltex: What are you doing?! (hurls an energy beam at Meta)
JL: (leaps into the air and slams into Voltex, knocking him downwards) Catch!
Meta: (grabs Voltex and slams him into the floor several times before knocking him away)
Voltex: This…this is…ridiculous! (extends a set of wires and grabs JL)
JL: Augh! Help!
Meta: (ducks underneath the wire) Don't worry! I'm-(gets grabbed by the wire from behind)-whoops.
Voltex: (begins pouring thousands of volts of electricity into the two Toa) You will regret this!
JL: Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow.
Voltex: I will force you to…force…you…too..
Voltex: (drops the two Toa to the ground) …
iBrow: And bingo.
JL: …what was that?
iBrow: …the reactivation method. It was originally intended for a member of the Center to be able to reactivate their AI from sleep. In this case, however…it was used to bring them back from someone's reprogramming.
Voltex: …er…um…(notices iBrow)…wait…no…it can't be-
iBrow: (watches as his elemental powers return to him) And now it's time to finish this guy off for good. (increases the gravity to an incredible rate)
Voltex: (slams into the ground)
JL: (extends his sword and sends several bolts of dark lightning towards Voltex) You're not the only one who can use electricity.
Meta: (grabs his sword hilt and creates several dimensional slashes)
Voltex: (gets sliced into tiny pieces)
Voltex Pieces: (fly into different dimensions, sealing them off from the real world)
iBrow: …well…that takes care of that. Now we just have to hope that we finished him off before the villages got destroyed.
Meanwhile, at the burning remains of one house…
Xplode: …well…that certainly was a barn burner. Or, rather, a house burner.
Xplode: …too soon, huh?
Pile of Rubble: (stirs)
Tubberware: (pops out and shakes it's lid loose)
Samus: (aims her arm cannon at the tubberware) …they recruited plastic tubs to fight?
Gadunka: (leaps out of the tubberware) Gadunka!
Samus: …oh. Even worse.
Gadunka: GADUNKA!! GADUNKA GADUNKA GADUNKA!!
Xplode: …he seems to be awfully happy to have survived.
Samus: You don't say.
Gadunka: GADUNKA! (runs towards Samus)
Samus: …oh no…oh what is he doing…?
Gadunka: (tackles Samus to the ground and begins hugging her) GADUNKA!!!
Xplode: …well…at least someone's happy.
Samus: At my expense.
Pridak: Oh, don't worry. We're happy too.
Xplode: (turns around) …ah. You made it out, too.
Pridak: Of course. You didn't think I would kick the bucket THAT easily, did you?
Xplode: …no…I guess after personally watching you survive falling into a fire that I kicked you into…it does seem pretty dumb to assume that you would die so easily.
Pridak: I even managed to save this stuffed buffoon and chunky monkey here.
Nocturn: Me no longer smell it.
Gadunka: GADUNKA!! (leaps off of Samus and glomps Nocturn)
Xplode: Out of curiosity, which one is the stuffed buffoon and which one is chunky monkey?
Pridak: Oh, yeah…he, um…he kind of had amnesia or something…apparently it's some side effect of that Witch Doctor's mind control or whatever…anyways, I put him to good use.
Tahu: (inspects one of the broken Bohrok lying around) …is this it? Are these all the survivors?
Voice: No, not quite.
Tahu: (turns around) …
Zaktan: (cocks his zamor sphere launcher) …it seems we have all made it out in one piece.
Zaktan: Even if some of us happened to get eaten along the way.
Hakann: I really must thank the Lego company for making the light green, and not light red, the plastic that breaks apart really easily. I don't think I would have survived that stupid Pokemon's stomach if it had been.
Tahu: …great. Just flipping great. This is exactly who I wanted to survive.
Zaktan: Hey. (shrugs) Beggars can't be chooser, can they?
Zaktan: …look…maybe we haven't gotten along great in the past. We've annoyed you plenty of times…
Zaktan: …and you've clobbered us over the head with baseball bats. A lot.
Zaktan: But…maybe, for the sake of rebuilding our society…we can put that aside…and work as a team.
Tahu: …well…I guess if you really-
Vezok: Lol JK bro. (pulls out a baseball bat and whacks Tahu)
Tahu: (goes flying)
Zaktan: (turns to Vezok) …I am going to punch you in the face.
Vezok: Totally worth it.
Vezok: …I don't regret a thing.
Xplode: …so…this is our band of survivors, huh? A bounty hunter, a murderous sociopath, two food obsessed amphibians, six thieves, a Toa of Fire, a fat plumber, and then the most beautiful person alive.
Pridak: You didn't need to mention me twice.
Xplode: …trust me, there's only one description in that list that fits you.
Tahu: (climbs back on to the deck) …well…er…(looks at the remains of the house)…I really hate to say this, but…um…we may be in a bad position when it comes to rebuilding our society.
Tahu: …the house is in ruins…nearly the entire population is dead…and we have no random golden magical Toa to fix it for us this time around.
Voice: …you may not be as bad off as you think.
Tahu: Oh. More mysterious voices. (turns around) Who now?
Ghirardelli: Why, me of course! The evilest villain of all time…who happens to be your friend at the moment.
Xplode: …friend is a loose term.
Ghirardelli: Call me what you will. However…I do have something that might just help your little situation.
Ghirardelli: …(snaps his fingers, and a portal opens, showing a giant mansion in the background)
Tahu: …what's that?
Vezok: That's called a "house."
Vezok: No regrets!
Ghirardelli: I happen to be a bit of a real-estate connoisseur…and, well, let's just say that I happened to have a bit of spare money after committing some…less then legal maneuvers.
Tahu: …how…"less then legal"…are we talking here?
Ghirardelli: Don't ask. Anyways, I managed to acquire this house…and as my last gift to you, for letting me stay in your house…even if the majority of it was spent chained to a wall in a Bohrok Hive…is this.
Ghirardelli: Don't be shy, just take it! (flings the portal closer to the group of survivors)
Tahu: …I'm…really not so sure about this.
Voice: Oh, don't buh worry. It'll be fine.
Tahu: …ok…that voice isn't mysterious at all.
Omega Turtle: Buh yeah. (hops up onto the deck, carrying Master Chief with him)…it's buh cool.
Tahu: …how do you know?
Omega Turtle: …I…uh…don't buh really…but it looks buh cool!
Ghirardelli: Really, what do you have to lose? All that you have remaining here is a pile of rubble and some flames which might get you a couple s'mores before they die out. Before long, someone will attack you again…and even if you did manage to rebuild, you wouldn't have the people necessary to defend yourself. You'd be dead in a couple of months at most.
Ghirardelli: Here, you have a chance at a new start. A new beginning. You have no enemies. You have no problems. And, best of all…Brenmac won't be able to find you, so you won't have to explain to him what happened to his Bohrok army. (points at all of the Bohrok debris lying around)
Tahu: …good point.
Ghirardelli: Well? What do you say?
Tahu: We'll do it. On one condition.
Ghirardelli: You'd think the guy offering the house for free would be the ones giving out the conditions.
Tahu: Take care of that Mrs. Green for me, will you? The person behind all of this shouldn't get off scot free.
Ghirardelli: Oh…of course…she's already been dealt with.
Tahu: …dealt with? How so?
Meanwhile, in an alternate dimension with nothing but elevator music and the Ellen Degernes show playing…
Mrs. Green: AAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!
Back to the ruined house…
Ghirardelli: …don't worry about it.
Ghirardelli: Just know she won't be coming back.
Tahu: Well…I really don't-
Pridak: Oh, come on, you big loser. Get in there. (smacks Tahu from behind)
Tahu: Whoa! Hey! (stumbles forward and falls into the portal)
Ghirardelli: …that's one way of dealing with that.
Xplode: (turns to Pridak)
Pridak: …ready for this?
Xplode: I'm really not.
Pridak: Good. Always nice to know I have the advantage. (leaps inside)
Xplode: *sigh* (follows Pridak)
Samus: …I suppose my bounty hunting talents won't be needed here any longer. (walks inside)
Ghirardelli: …what's wrong?
Zaktan: Hmm? Wrong?
Ghirardelli: Why aren't you coming?
Zaktan: …I was just thinking…if I was a villain…
Ghirardelli: You are.
Zaktan: And I wanted to trick someone into falling into a trap…I would do it just like you are.
Zaktan: So you can forget it. No way in heck me and my team are heading into that portal-
Ghirardelli: Here's a cookie. (throws it inside)
Thok: OOH! COOKIE!
Hakann: Out of my way!
Reidak: Move it!
Avak: It's mine!
Piraka: (trample Zaktan on their way through the portal)
Zaktan: Hey! Ow! Get back here!
Zaktan: …you…you fiend! You may have tricked them, but you'll never get me-
Omega Turtle: Oh, just get the buh in there already, you big crybaby. (grabs Zaktan and chucks him through the portal)
Ghirardelli: …thank you for that.
Master Chief: ...
Omega Turtle: …well…
Omega Turtle: Guess this is buh goodbye to the buh house.
Omega Turtle: So buh long, friend. It was buh fun.
Omega Turtle: …(heads through the portal, followed by Mario, Gadunka, and Master Chief)
Nocturn: …me definitely smell it now. (follows the three into the portal)
Ghirardelli: …and so long to you too, friends. (snaps his fingers, and the portal closes)
TO BE CONCLUDED IN A TWO CHAPTER PROLOGUE...