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Sekai Final Stretch Review


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#1 Offline Mahou Shoujo Mega Man

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Posted Oct 14 2011 - 09:41 AM

Here is where you can review Bioni-Lords Book 2: Sekai: Final Stretch.Websites:Main SiteOrb IndexBooks:Bioni-Lords Book 1Bioni-Lords Book 2: Sekai (Prologue-Chapter 130)Spin-Off, by PeriodicTable:Bioni-Lords: Periodic EnigmaShort Stories:The Ikhav SpiritBioni-Lords: Christmas SpiritsBioni-Lords: Sage's DawnProject Stained Glass Artwork:Inactive/Battle Damaged (by Neya)Default Active ModeDefault Active Mode--Shard 1017 ActiveDefault Active Mode--Clearsight (by Neya)Stand-by Mode--Clearsight (by Neya)2.0 Stand-by Mode (by Neya)Inmacula (...yeah, I got carried away with the face design)Alternate Inmacula (not seen in Sekai)Twilight Guardians Artwork:Corvivos (by Neya)Cuerveracios (by Neya)Metan (by Neya)Metadon (by Neya)Les Quatre Freres de Lame and Les Freres Depraves Artwork:Obscura (by Neya)Language (by Neya)Zodiakai (minus cape; by Neya)BionicleKeyblade (by Neya)BionicleShadowBlades (by Neya)BionicleShadowBlades Dread Paladin (by Neya)Zodiakai: Void (by Neya)Language of Hate (by Neya)Other Artwork:Exo-Keelerak (by Neya)Ultra-Keelerak (by Neya)Decrenzen Blade of Souls/TwayScythe (by Neya)Elemental Cycles (by Neya) (arrows indicate advantages)BionicleKeyblade MoC

Edited by Guts Style Pahrak, Nov 02 2011 - 02:11 PM.

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#2 Offline Nevermore

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Posted Oct 14 2011 - 11:01 AM

Very, very, very interesting. I love threes I mean all good things come in three's: the three stooges; chocolate, caramel and nougat and of course breakfast, lunch and dinner. Miserix is pretty powerful but I think he's up against one foe who won't fall. What is Kharuun's double fusion called?
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#3 Offline Mahou Shoujo Mega Man

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Posted Oct 14 2011 - 12:50 PM

It's a bit of a spoiler (sort of), but the Double Fusion is called "Saigo Zadakh", saigo being the Japanese word for "final". Regrettably, we won't really see this Super Spirit in action for a little while... I've edited the Spirits Used list into Chapter 131--sorry I forgot, guess I just got swept away in the excitement of being able to post again, hahaha...
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#4 Offline Nevermore

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Posted Oct 15 2011 - 12:09 PM

OH NO DEATH IS NOW THE DEATHTALON! Argh, curse this keyboard! It never works right! Great chapter!
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#5 Offline Mahou Shoujo Mega Man

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Posted Oct 15 2011 - 01:37 PM

Thanks, glad you like it! The first post has been edited to include the artwork links, as well as a new piece for Language of Hate. Also, I'm about to update Librum's article on the website with 100% info, in case anyone wants to see that. We'll see Librum in action again soon, though... On Monday we begin the Ending Arc! I'll put up two chapters, one to show the kids attacking the Enterprise, and another to show what happened to Neya and Catalina.

Edited by Pahrak: Knight of Cornelia, Oct 15 2011 - 01:37 PM.

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#6 Offline Nevermore

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Posted Oct 15 2011 - 02:21 PM

Wow! That is something. I love the Language of Hate artwork it is so cool!
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#7 Offline Mahou Shoujo Mega Man

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Posted Oct 17 2011 - 02:18 PM

The new chapters I promised are up! Tomorrow we show the first of the final Dark Knight battles: Zagrin vs. War Machine!
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#8 Offline Nevermore

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Posted Oct 17 2011 - 04:22 PM

That was unexpected and awesome. Finally Dranes uses Instant Murder and it was epic! Though it would be more epic if you said what it was like, like: An all-consuming fire shot out of Dranes as he used Instant Murder.
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#9 Offline Mahou Shoujo Mega Man

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Posted Oct 17 2011 - 05:31 PM

Yeah, I didn't do so good with Instant Murder...I may edit it later if I think of something better. In case anyone is curious about the new Spirit Index, I've redone the color-coding up to #400, so I'm just under a third of the way there. It looks like it might take a while...
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#10 Offline Nevermore

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Posted Oct 17 2011 - 05:39 PM

Did the Spirit Index need re-coloring?
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#11 Offline Mahou Shoujo Mega Man

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Posted Oct 17 2011 - 05:52 PM

Yes--I copy-pasted all of the files onto the new website, but it didn't retain any of the color-coding (except for Earth, since it's bolded), so I've been going over each Spirit and putting the colors back in.
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#12 Offline Nevermore

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Posted Oct 17 2011 - 07:23 PM

Why are you making a new Orb Index?
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#13 Offline Mahou Shoujo Mega Man

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Posted Oct 17 2011 - 07:37 PM

The hosting service used for the current Index has a page limit I knew nothing about, but the hosting service I use for Exo's Desk lets you have two sites and has no page limit.
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#14 Offline Nevermore

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Posted Oct 18 2011 - 08:15 AM

Hmm, "End of Day" sounds familiar *cough*pikmen*cough* and Seven Rings in Hand is quite interesting. Let me guess each of the seven rings is a different element and can be manipulated in several different ways with each causing the status associated with that element, am I right?
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#15 Offline Mahou Shoujo Mega Man

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Posted Oct 18 2011 - 12:46 PM

Yeah, Neya said End of Day was Pikmin-inspired. Seven Rings in Hand (Sonic-inspired) isn't tied to any Element other than Dragon, but each Ring does have a specific status ailment associated with it:Yellow (paralyze), Green (poison), Red (burn), Blue (confuse), Cyan (mind control), White (freeze), Purple (blind)I'll update the website with info on Forbidden Dragons, Blades, and Sparks soon. Facing Genocide is up now--Genocide Machine will be added to the website momentarily. Tomorrow is another double feature, where we learn Darkaea's plans and then see Norscu and Zenrei fight Tabuu and Multilance.
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#16 Offline Nevermore

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Posted Oct 18 2011 - 12:51 PM

That was a superb chapter. It's sobering to see just what can happen to you if you lose control and give in to darkness, there's a lesson in that for everybody.

Edited by MoC1, Oct 18 2011 - 01:03 PM.

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#17 Offline Mahou Shoujo Mega Man

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Posted Oct 18 2011 - 01:11 PM

Thank you! I'm tried to make these final Dark Knight battles special, and perhaps show new glimpses into traits that define the Knights--for War Machine, his rage and thirst for power, and how his single-mindedness ended up costing him everything.
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#18 Offline Nevermore

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Posted Oct 18 2011 - 01:35 PM

It's sad to see that happen to anybody no matter how evil.I like the name though, sadly Genocide Machine fits him perfectly. Wow, I can't believe how philosophical I am, weird.

Edited by MoC1, Oct 18 2011 - 01:36 PM.

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#19 Offline Mahou Shoujo Mega Man

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Posted Oct 18 2011 - 02:34 PM

Nice to see I can gather sympathy for villains! That will come in handy...
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#20 Offline Nevermore

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Posted Oct 18 2011 - 03:58 PM

Oh oh, that does not sound good.
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#21 Offline Mahou Shoujo Mega Man

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Posted Oct 19 2011 - 02:17 PM

The two chapters I promised are up, and Zero Force has been added to the Super Spirit list. Some bad news...I'm not going to be able to post chapters this Friday or Saturday--sorry. To try to make up for it, I'm planning a triple-feature tomorrow! Chapter 139, where we go back to Darkaea vs. Khadaz; Chapter 140, where Nuhvok Kal makes his final attack; and Chapter 141, where Zak, Selina, and Midori run into another wave of Makuta. And then, on Monday...well, I'll tell you about that tomorrow...
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#22 Offline Nevermore

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Posted Oct 19 2011 - 03:49 PM

I was kinda disappointed by the way Norscu and Zenrei "beat" Tabuu and Multilance. But the new Forbidden Blades are interesting, I like Golden Chains but Stealth of Ninja does not sound like a steel ability.How will Khadaz defeat Darkaea, hmm I'm guessing that Darkaea will use his final Forbidden Blade but the sheer amount of power he is using will cause him to lose control and Khadaz will easily beat his out of control enemy. Also I have a suggestion for Darkhadaz, namely that he abandons all the spells he's using to open that mysterious book and use a bent paperclip lockpick. And is "Master' you?
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#23 Offline Mahou Shoujo Mega Man

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Posted Oct 19 2011 - 05:18 PM

Sorry. Tabuu and Multilance will return in a later Book, and I'll try to use them better in that one. I suppose Stealth of Ninja is a little odd for a Steel ability...Whoever said that Khadaz would defeat Darkaea? Mwa-ha-ha! It might take a bit more than a paperclip to open the mysterious book, but I can tell you that it will be opened by the end of Sekai.By "Master" do you mean Yume's master? Funny you should mention that--when I first brought in Yume, I considered having a scene where she and I had a discussion, her speaking normally and I replying via narration. In the end, I thought it was a little silly, so I picked a different Master for her. I intend to reveal him eventually, but it might be a while.
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#24 Offline Nevermore

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Posted Oct 19 2011 - 08:35 PM

I just thought that it would be just the thing that nobody would try, just like when Gandalf was at the doors of Moria in "The Fellowship of the Ring" and he tried all the secret passwords he knew but the answer was as the inscription said "friend" and it was so simple that it was incredibly hard to guess.
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#25 Offline Mahou Shoujo Mega Man

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Posted Oct 20 2011 - 01:13 PM

The new chapters are up, and the website has been updated with Zero Singularity and some Spirit Weapons. Again, I can't post this weekend, but on Monday I intend to post another of the final Dark Knight battles: Kharzani vs. Destroyer!
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#26 Offline Nevermore

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Posted Oct 20 2011 - 01:47 PM

I was kinda right about how Khadaz beat Darkaea and I was very right that we would beat Darkaea. Nice try to throw me off there but I have a dad who is a total prankster and he uses that on me all the time. Wow these makuta are wimps, and we still don't see Saigo Zadakh's power! please tell me that we will soon.
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#27 Offline Mahou Shoujo Mega Man

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Posted Oct 20 2011 - 02:26 PM

I have to at least try to create suspense! And since Book 3 is a flashback, I don't necessarily need any of these characters to survive Book 2...mwa-ha-ha...Yeah, I'm sorry about how weak the Makuta are...Saigo Zadakh will be seen in battle in Chapter 149, which I may be able to get up next week.
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#28 Offline Nevermore

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Posted Oct 20 2011 - 08:55 PM

Do you know what kind of powers Paws TF was supposed to have?I'm also asking NK so no need to answer.
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#29 Offline Keizah the Kaleidoscope

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Posted Oct 21 2011 - 09:35 AM

Finally, midterms are over!!! Er....sorry, college has been a little rough. ^w^I've enjoyed reading the chapters of "Final Stretch." Nuvakuta's encounter with Librum was excellent, I particularly liked the metaphors about light and shadow. It's little things like that which make your writing pop out.Excellent idea, splitting Kharuun's team into groups of three. It really helps me get a picture of the battle scene, otherwise I forget which characters are participating in the battle. On a related note, I like the characters' reactions to killing or saving their foes. Too many anime and manga characters have unrealistic detachment from the concept of killing, which makes them tragically two-dimensional.-Keizah, signing out!-

Edited by Keizah Hagah, Oct 21 2011 - 10:51 AM.

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#30 Offline Nevermore

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Posted Oct 21 2011 - 11:25 AM

Finally someone besides me and Pahrak posting!I agree about the reactions to the killing, too many things today devalue human life.
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#31 Offline Mahou Shoujo Mega Man

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Posted Oct 24 2011 - 02:36 PM

As for Paws Tf, the character used by Nuvakuta is always expanding and changing his abilities, so it's hard to say. I belive he was intended to have the Hadouken, Shinku Hadouken, and Tag Blast moves that Ice TH uses, but aside from that I really don't know what to pick. I'm glad to hear you liked Librum's monologue! He doesn't speak much, but he can say some interesting things.Scenes involving many characters are tough to write--it's the main reason why I retired the Ju-San Seishin, and why I'm not using Nui Battles anymore. I'll definitely be sticking with smaller battles from here on out, so don't worry! :biggrin: As for the reactions to death, I figured it might make more sense for the kids to try to avoid death given how young they are. Although, I might not have them all dwell on it as much as Dranes did with the Myrica incident... Facing Destruction is online, and the website has been updated with Total Destroyer and the Psionicannon! Tomorrow I hope to post two chapters that will show Pantheon, Louvre, Vezon, and Karok participating in the battle. Also, I looked ahead, and I may be able to get Book 2 finished after the second week of November, and a week after that I'll put the first teaser for Book 3 in my blog, followed by four previews. I hope you're looking forward to Book 3 as much as I am!
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#32 Offline Nevermore

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Posted Oct 24 2011 - 03:27 PM

Holy cow! Psionicannon is powerful and risky. I like the chapter, Destroyer reminds me a bit of myself when I lose control. Can the Hason confuse or can it just burn or freeze?

Edited by MoC1, Oct 25 2011 - 08:41 AM.

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#33 Offline Mahou Shoujo Mega Man

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Posted Oct 25 2011 - 12:43 PM

The Perfect Hason used by Zennou Ice only burns and freezes; it cannot cause any other status ailments. Today's chapters are up. Tomorrow I'm planning a triple-feature--Aile and Keelie fight a wave of Makuta so that Keizah and Artakhall can get to the engine room, and it just so happens that Krika and Antroz are among Keelie's opponents; Kharuun enters the final stretch towards the bridge, leaving Neb-X to have a proper battle with Teridax; and then we go back to the Lost Continent, where the Paladins are tasked with protecting the Light Force camp from two Squires.
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#34 Offline Nevermore

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Posted Oct 25 2011 - 01:48 PM

Good chapter. I bet that Krika will betray the other Makuta and that he's been spying on them since the beginning, cause KRIKA IS THE MOST AWESOME MAKUTA EVER! Now that thats out of my system I can see a bit of myself in Kharok too, Man thats weird!
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#35 Offline Mahou Shoujo Mega Man

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Posted Oct 26 2011 - 02:25 PM

Krika explains some things in Chapter 145, which is now up along with a few more. Tomorrow is Nuvakuta vs Death, where we get to see the true power of Librum 100% and the newest Deathtalon!
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#36 Offline Nevermore

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Posted Oct 26 2011 - 03:14 PM

I was kinda right that Krika would betray the other makuta but that was kinda obvious. Neb's fight with Teridax was cool but I still want to see what Saigo Zadakh can do.

Edited by MoC1, Oct 26 2011 - 08:15 PM.

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#37 Offline Mahou Shoujo Mega Man

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Posted Oct 26 2011 - 05:33 PM

Yeah, I'm not so great at hiding things all the time, haha...Neb's fight was meant to be more comical than most, due to the nature of Neb-X and the friend of mine who submitted him.Saigo Zadakh should be seen in action on Friday.
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#38 Offline Nevermore

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Posted Oct 26 2011 - 08:18 PM

Your ability to conceal certain parts in the story varies, you've done a great job with hiding other stuff. You succeeded in making it comical. Will the character I submitted be used in Book 3? And why is Destroyer so much like me?
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#39 Offline Mahou Shoujo Mega Man

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Posted Oct 27 2011 - 01:12 PM

Yes, the character you submitted will be used in Book 3. As for why Destroyer is like you...perhaps the transdimensional fabric has worn thinner than expected, and energy has flowed between this world and the Bioni-Lords world that caused the two of you to be alike!...That's how it works in Bioni-Lords, at least... Facing Death is up, and the website has been updated with Deathtalon. Tomorrow will be two chapters that happen at about the same time: Chapter 149, where Kharuun reached Miserix and we FINALLY see Saigo Zadakh in action; and Chapter 150, where Keizah and Artakhall reach the engine room and a turning point occurs.
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#40 Offline Nevermore

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Posted Oct 27 2011 - 01:34 PM

Good chapter, I almost feel sorry for Death, though I felt more almost sorry for War Machine. And who gets to kill Corruption? Also what's Khadaz's job? I mean he has to have some kind of job, he's got a family to support.

Edited by MoC1, Oct 27 2011 - 01:36 PM.

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