Where Bionicle Went Wrong

[Taipu1]

[DISCLAIMER: The opinions expressed in this comedy are for humorous purposes only. I have nothing but respect for GregF and TLG, and owe much to the achievements of the BIONICLE franchise]I was inspired by some of the more negative topics that have come up in S&T to make this comedy. Anyway:Where Bionicle Went WrongTaipu1: Welcome to ‘Where BIONICLE went wrong!' We’ve got a great show tonight. We’ve got Vakama, star of Legends of Metru Nui and many other appalling works. We have regular BIONI-fan Mata Nui, the Great Spirit who won’t hear a word against his world, and then we’ve got an exclusive, Berix will be here, telling us why his role in BIONICLE was entirely redundant!Crowd: Yay?Taipu1: That’s right, it’s gonna be a real party! Okay, lets go meet Vakama.[Walks over to interview area and takes a seat]Vakama: As a comedy this isn’t going to get far without you making hilarious plays on word about ‘taking seats.’ You had a prime opportunity there!Taipu1: My comedy should come purely from the failings of BIONICLE. Ladies and Gentleman, Turaga Vakama!Crowd: Yay?Vakama: It’s good to be here Taipu.Taipu1: Don’t forget the 1.Vakama: Taipu1.Taipu1: Thank you. Anyway lets get down to business, what would you say is the worst thing that’s happened to you in BIONICLE?Vakama: Well, Taipu1, let me start by saying that BIONICLE is a toy franchise, and frankly it suffers for it. I’m sure it would be much more successful if it were continued as a set of online serials, and the sets were scrapped.Taipu1: That’s what eventually became.Vakama: Too late, the toys had wrecked the franchise. Marketing teams owned the storyline. I talk of course about the 2008 and set lines. Clearly the Toa Nuva were brilliant as they were in ’03. But in order to sell toys, it has to become official that Tahu turns into a Ninja and Gali turns into a Rabbit!Taipu1: Surely there’s no harm in a little change.Vakama: Pohatu was orange! I’m orange! And we’re completely different elements, it doesn’t work.Taipu1: You sure you’re not just jealous?Vakama: I’m very jealous, and so is Matau, he’s the lime green guy, not Lewa.Taipu1: What about Lesovikk, he was lime green.Vakama: Well that was just a bodge job set, lots of re-coloured parts thrown together in a fairly random fashion. And poor set designs is where my worst moment comes in. 2005! What were they thinking?Taipu1: I’d just like to stop you there Vakama, I’m going to bring Mata Nui onto the interview floor. For those who are unaware, Mata-Nui is the outspoken spokes person for BIONICLE, its only real fan. Here he is ladies and gentleman.Crowd: Boo?Mata Nui: You should all be more decisive about your emotions.Taipu1: They’re just reading a card some guys holding up.GregF: I have a name!Taipu1: And no one knows it. So Vakama, what was it particularly about 2005 that bugged you?Vakama: The author having no guts.GregF: :(Vakama: A story is like your baby, and you want to look after your baby, only you know what is best for it, and yet he allowed the change to go through for me to turn to the Dark side instead of Matau.Mata Nui: I disagree with that, you turned out great as a villain, and Matau was the unsung hero of that tale.Vakama: Have you met Matau? He’s no hero, he’s a cowardly, egotistical, excuse of a Toa who wouldn’t know one end of a disk launcher from the other.Mata Nui: He saved you.Vakama: I distinctly recall saying that it was the other 5 Toa who needed saving, I was fine. If anything he dragged me down.Mata Nui: And what of the Matoran? They were still upper most in your mind, and if you had stayed as a hordika, your brain would have turned to jelly.Vakama: Eventually I could gain control of Roodaka, and she would be able to change my form to be far greater than it ever was, purging the hordika venom in the process. I ended up saving the others; they would have lost the battle without me. 4 against an entire visorak army, what were they thinking?Taipu1: I think what we need here is an outsider opinion, Mata Nui you obviously benefited from the 2005 events, yet it was really Vakama’s fall from grace. I’d now like to introduce Berix!Berix: Hey folks, what’s up?Taipu1: So, as a member of the 2009 onwards storyline, your life is pretty much unconnected to the events following the Great Cataclysm.Berix: Yeah, the Great Rescue and all that was essential to the storyline. I’d have to say it would’ve worked just as well with Matau turning instead of Vakama. As long as one of them turned, they would end up in a position of power. And maybe Matau would have the brains not to free Roodaka, if they had just captured her and not all shot elemental spinners, then a lot of people would have lived, and Mata Nui would have awoken far sooner. But no, Vakama had to fire a spinner and force everyone to run away onto a giant face and hide there for 1000 years.Mata Nui: That does make sense, but it wouldn’t have been the same emotional journey, if everything went perfectly, then where would be the learning curve for the characters.Berix: Learning curve? What did I learn? I’m just a thief who has no contribution to the story.Taipu1: I thought you described yourself as a collector.Berix: Only because I was forced to, I’m a thief. I steal stuff. Atero Spear, I took that; great being coin, I took that; Taipu1’s wallet, I took that.Taipu1: He’s right!Crowd: Oooh?Mata Nui: You’re all spoilsports.Vakama: Just because you got a voice actor people have heard of!Taipu1: Don’t you feel you lightened the mood in the Legend Reborn, Berix, the comic relief character?Berix: I can’t help being a guy with a sharp mind and wit quick as whip.Vakama: A whip that’s not being used.Mata Nui: I enjoyed your antics in TLR, the way you fought the Skrall in such a hilarious fashion.Vakama: You don’t want to be that person Berix, nobody wants to be what Mata Nui wants them to be.Berix: I thought you worshipped the ground he walked on.Vakama: Only because he was the ground I walked on. No need now, overall there was a lot less stress when Makuta was in charge.Mata Nui: You can’t criticise the way I ruled!Vakama: I can, when did we actually see an example of your actions. If it wasn’t drilled into us by 100,000 years of becoming sentient then we’d have no reason to believe in your existence. And to be honest, it’s still pretty unbelievable. The scale of that robot was just stupidly unrealistic.Taipu1: Well, I think we’ve made some progress here, but I think we need to talk to Matau, and Makuta. You obviously have your own various opinions, so I’ll make sure we find out what they think for the next show. That’s all we’ve got time for people, just remember, “Knowledge is Strength.”Vakama: I think that’s something we can all be happy with.Taipu1: Good night folks!

Edited April 17, 2012 by Taipu1

[Athmos]

Kinda funny, I guess. I do like the plot of jabbing S&T.

[Iver]

I'm confused. Was this a self-parody, poking fun at those who criticize Bionicle? Or was it genuine criticism of the Bionicle franchise? The feeling kind of flip-flops throughout the comedy, leaving me confused on your position. And who was the strawman? In other words, who was the character being set up to be made fun of? Was it Vakama, who may represent an unpleasable and irrational fan? Or was it Mata Nui, who may represent a fanboy, who easily accepts everything and shouldn't be listened to. To make a long story short: What was the point you were trying to get at?

[avmatoran]

Okay. Was this serious or sarcastic? Was Vakama the disillusioned guy who is being made fun of, Berix the stupidly honest guy being made fun of, or Mata Nui the gullible guy being made fun of?

[fishers64]

Okay. Was this serious or sarcastic? Was Vakama the disillusioned guy who is being made fun of, Berix the stupidly honest guy being made fun of, or Mata Nui the gullible guy being made fun of?

How about all three?Anyway, I liked this - it sort of reminded me of one of my old works, but a bit better. Here's what I liked best:

Taipu1: They’re just reading a card some guys holding up.GregF: I have a name!

(Speaking of which, "guys" should be "guy is")

Berix: I thought you worshipped the ground he walked on.Vakama: Only because he was the ground I walked on. No need now, overall there was a lot less stress when Makuta was in charge.

I'm not sure if Vakama is being sarcastic here. I think he is, but not sure on it. Good job, looking forward to next chapter if this thing is going to continue.

[Taipu1]

Thanks for the posts guys, I can see there is a little confusion about the purpose of this comedy.What I'm trying to get across is that BIONICLE is not perfect and flawless, but that some of the anti-BIONICLE people try and find holes in it as well, and I kind of want to pick fun at that as well. Vakama was meant to be an extremely negative critic of BIONICLE, Mata Nui was the stereotyped fan boy who won't see anything wrong. Berix is kind of the middleman, but mostly I was just making fun out of his character.I wasn't totally happy with how this turned out, but it was only meant to be an introduction to the premise of the comedy. The later episodes will be more subjective, where this one wasn't really focusing on anything specific. So, yes it will be continuing.

[X-Ray]

Okay. Was this serious or sarcastic? Was Vakama the disillusioned guy who is being made fun of, Berix the stupidly honest guy being made fun of, or Mata Nui the gullible guy being made fun of?

How about all three?Anyway, I liked this - it sort of reminded me of one of my old works, but a bit better. Here's what I liked best:

Taipu1: They’re just reading a card some guys holding up.GregF: I have a name!

(Speaking of which, "guys" should be "guy is")

Berix: I thought you worshipped the ground he walked on.Vakama: Only because he was the ground I walked on. No need now, overall there was a lot less stress when Makuta was in charge.

I'm not sure if Vakama is being sarcastic here. I think he is, but not sure on it.Good job, looking forward to next chapter if this thing is going to continue.

I agree with Mr. fisher64's sentiment; this comedy also reminds me of a comedy I used to have, only better. It was this thing called "The Axonn and Brutaka Show." I always liked the idea of a sort of talk show based around stuff in the Bionicle universe, but this comedy shows bucket-loads more potential than mine. It's one of the few comedies I've ever read in the forum that actually made me laugh out loud. And I must say, I love laughing.I'm looking forward to another episode, Mr. Taipu1. Do keep up the good work.Sincerely, X-Ray

[Fractual Forever]

If it wasn’t drilled into us by 100,000 years of becoming sentient then we’d have no reason to believe in your existence.

That sort of sounded a little, don't judge me on this, religious. Not that I mind, but some people could get really worked up on that.Anyway, the story is pretty good. Mostly because you didn't resort to using crude toilet humour to amuse us and stayed serious almost all the way through. You also presented your points in a very memorable and easy to understand way that I didn't have to hurt my brain much thinking about it. Good job! I'll be keeping track of this one for sure.