Jump to content

  • Log in with Facebook Log in with Twitter Log In with Google      Sign In   
  • Create Account

Welcome to BZPower!

Hi there, while we hope you enjoy browsing through the site, there's a lot more you can do if you register. The process is easy and you can use your Google, Facebook, or Twitter account to make it even faster. Some perks of joining include:
  • Create your own topics, participate in existing discussions, and vote in polls
  • Show off your creations, stories, art, music, and movies and play member and staff-run games
  • Enter contests to win free LEGO sets and other prizes, and vote to decide the winners
  • Participate in raffles, including exclusive raffles for new members, and win free LEGO sets
  • Send private messages to other members
  • Organize with other members to attend or send your MOCs to LEGO fan events all over the world
  • Much, much more!
Enjoy your visit!

Photo

Reality's Fantasy

Arthaka Karzahni Mask of Creation Aderia

  • Please log in to reply
5 replies to this topic

#1 Offline Aderia

Aderia
  • Premier Member
  • Premier Outstanding BZP Citizens
  • Stone Champion Nuva

  • 1,562 posts
  •   Outstanding BZPower Citizen

Posted Apr 23 2012 - 07:41 PM

There are two sides to every fight. The winning side, and the losing side. After a fateful clash of the titans for the control of Creation itself, two beings draw the conflict to a close once and for all.

₪҉₪

An anguished howl splits through the air like lightning.Curses rumble from the heart of a battle-torn titan like thunder.The great lord Karzahni lies immobilized and broken on the rugged field of battle. He is paralyzed by pain, betrayed by the weakness of his own flesh and armor.He can only watch.Watch as his prize is taken by the very being he had once considered his only friend. Even more than that, his brother. But no more. He no longerknows Arthaka. This revelation is solidified when that same traitor turns to face Karzahni.More curses are spat from Karzahni’s mouth as he almost literally does not recognize his brother. Arthaka now wears the Great Mask of Creation.Karzahni sees red. He does not know if this is his own imagining or the blood red sun setting over their barren battleground. Arthaka regards his fallen brother with something akin to pity.The last thing in the universe that Karzahni wants is pity. And least of all from Arthaka. With one last effort, a cry of absolute rage fills his lungs.Even though releasing that primal cry of fury sends agonizing lances of fiery pain through Karzahni’s very soul, it gives him some satisfaction that he has been heard.Finally, the wounds of the two-titan war catch up to Karzahni, and pull him sympathetically into oblivion.

₪҉₪

When Karzahni emerges from that merciful slumber, he is still lying on the same field.But now he can move, although not without pain. Beside him, a Great Kanohi Mask is resting.Instinctively, with a vitality almost reminiscent of the animal-like baying of his earlier defeat, Karzahni slams the mask on his face.His entire being drinks up the power seeping from the Kanohi. Karzahni revels in that power. Especially after his near fatal combat of so recently, he loves the sense of control the mask gives him. He is almost completely given to this newfound strength when he notices a stone tablet, almost the same color as the earth, that was lying beneath the mask.Groping for the tablet, Karzahni reads:If your fantasies came trueClashed with your realityWould you fall to fiction’s whims?Or be pawn to what is real?Which diverging road would you take,In that yellow wood?After you’ve traveled your chosen pathCould you harvest no regrets of the past?Who knows how many forks we will face?Who knows our minds, now versus then?Would a simple change cause us to lookBack on our lives with one different wish?Kanohi Olisi: Mask of Alternate Futures

₪҉₪

A/N: So, I'm not really sure what I was aiming for with this one, I just felt like writing, so I wrote. I hope my ramblings aren't too odd for you.

  • 0

(Irene Adler)

adler7.jpg

The Whip Hand


#2 Offline Nick Silverpen

Nick Silverpen
  • Members
  • Emerging Flying Force

  • 2,211 posts
  •  

Posted Apr 23 2012 - 07:54 PM

I've been playing around with this idea in life that you don't always get what you set out for, but sometimes what you recieve is equally as good. This story sets a good example of that. I like the poetry you used, and your word order was attractive.This line stuck out, just the way it ended the passage. The personification is clever.

Finally, the wounds of the two-titan war catch up to Karzahni, and pull him sympathetically into oblivion.

Very well done!

  • 0

#3 Offline The Marlfox

The Marlfox
  • Members
  • Turaga

  • 80 posts
  •  

Posted Apr 23 2012 - 08:02 PM

so you just sat down becasue you wanted to write, started to type, and ended up with this? wow i am jealous!! i mean, i've read some of your other stuff, but this is different. the use of poetry is really awesome, but in a way, the whole story is like a giant poem. i like how you told the story, because it's short and to the point. if you would have gone on, using the same style, i might have gotten confused. but you pulled off another good one. nice work, Aderia!
  • 0

#4 Offline Aderia

Aderia
  • Premier Member
  • Premier Outstanding BZP Citizens
  • Stone Champion Nuva

  • 1,562 posts
  •   Outstanding BZPower Citizen

Posted Apr 24 2012 - 03:54 PM

I've been playing around with this idea in life that you don't always get what you set out for, but sometimes what you recieve is equally as good. This story sets a good example of that. I like the poetry you used, and your word order was attractive.This line stuck out, just the way it ended the passage. The personification is clever.

Finally, the wounds of the two-titan war catch up to Karzahni, and pull him sympathetically into oblivion.

Very well done!

thank you! I'm really glad you appreciated the words I threw together :)

so you just sat down becasue you wanted to write, started to type, and ended up with this? wow i am jealous!! i mean, i've read some of your other stuff, but this is different. the use of poetry is really awesome, but in a way, the whole story is like a giant poem. i like how you told the story, because it's short and to the point. if you would have gone on, using the same style, i might have gotten confused. but you pulled off another good one. nice work, Aderia!

Thanks, again BB. I like your reviews because you tell it to me as you see it. Aha, and nothing to be jealous about, I was restless all day before I sat down and finally wrote something decend XP

  • 0

(Irene Adler)

adler7.jpg

The Whip Hand


#5 Offline Athmos

Athmos
  • Members
  • Kohrak-Kal Attacks!

  • 2,804 posts
  •  

Posted Apr 24 2012 - 03:58 PM

I've never read much about these two, but this is a really good read. The personification was flawless, the entire story flowed very easily and I loved the poem at the end. Did you write that yourself? The detail you put into this is awesome. This takes skill to just write something like this down.
  • 0

WIP


#6 Offline Aderia

Aderia
  • Premier Member
  • Premier Outstanding BZP Citizens
  • Stone Champion Nuva

  • 1,562 posts
  •   Outstanding BZPower Citizen

Posted Apr 25 2012 - 03:31 PM

I've never read much about these two, but this is a really good read.The personification was flawless, the entire story flowed very easily and I loved the poem at the end. Did you write that yourself?The detail you put into this is awesome.This takes skill to just write something like this down.

Thank you very much! and yes, I did write the poem myself, although it's pretty old.

  • 0

(Irene Adler)

adler7.jpg

The Whip Hand





0 user(s) are browsing this forum

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users