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Mirror Mirror


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11 replies to this topic

#1 Offline Zero Makuta

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Posted Apr 24 2012 - 06:13 PM

Mirror Mirror

Kuzon the Ko-Matoran shuffled through the thronging crowd in Ta-Metru, drawing strange looks from his Ta-Matoran compatriots, but he did not care. His mind shot light-years ahead of those buzzing around him, racing in an enlightened state of limbo.The night before, Kuzon and his fellow scientists, Ahn and Cela, had achieved a breakthrough in the project. Although pumped with excitement, the trio agreed to postpone further research until the next morning.When Kuzon arrived at the lab, Ahn and Cela were already there, goggles strapped on, faces exuberant. Ahn bore a bleak smile, but for the Po-Matoran that was positively ecstatic.The lab was small, but not cramped, covered in wires that all led to a full length mirror resting on the far wall. It had two tables, one of which was laden with a massive computer. Odd bits of technology and data sheets were scattered on the other. Next to the mirror was a desk, the only clean and organized spot in the room. A smaller computer rested upon it, used to control the project.“About time you made it,” Ahn chided slowly. “We’ve been waiting for over an hour.”“Ahn, grab the modifier, would you?” Cela murmured as she pored over a fresh batch of papers. After a moment, the Ga-Matoran glanced up in annoyance and saw her lab mate. “Oh, Kuzon!” She tossed the papers aside and rushed to him, squeezing him tightly. When she pulled away, her face was aglow. “Are you ready to try it?”“You bet I am!” Kuzon cried. He tore off his pack and threw it into a corner of the tiny room.

-

That night, back in his home Knowledge Tower, Kuzon could barely contain his excitement. The project outpaced anything the group had worked on before, incredible for such an experimental technology. As he lay on his cot, he laced his fingers behind his head and stared at the ceiling with a dreamy smile, occasionally rubbing a crack at the bottom of his mask.A slight scuffle snapped him out of his reverie. Kuzon leapt off his cot and crouched defensively. The groundbreaking technology he toiled on was bound to attract sinister attention, and he had been expecting an attack for some time.The scientist crept to a wall, removed a slim blade from a secret compartment, and slipped out of his room, weapon at the ready. He carefully picked his way through the frozen hall outside, avoiding windows and keeping near to the ground. Whenever he spotted a dark figure, a scream of terror nearly erupted from his mouth like a geyser, but only slumbering Ice Bats caused his distress.Constant coldness gnawed at Kuzon’s stomach and spiked like ice through his heart. His mind whirled with demonic fantasies. Who was here? Did they have a weapon? Were they watching him? Shadows became ghouls as Kuzon scoured his floor of the Knowledge Tower for evidence of an intruder.Another scuffle. Kuzon spun toward the source of the noise and dashed toward it, blade held high. He burst through his bedroom door bellowing.Glass shattered as a dark figure bounded from Kuzon’s cot and burst through the window. Without enough time to aim, Kuzon hurled his knife in the general direction of the phantom and was rewarded with a cry of pain. His blood chilled like ice water. The shout was . . . familiar.The figure fell out the window. Kuzon gasped in surprise and dashed to the pane, but the figure had vanished into the frosty night. He had to have flown.Kuzon sighed and left his room, shaking. Some stargazing would help him calm down. As he rounded the corner, a primordial roar slammed his eardrums and a blast of solidified air threw him off his feet. His room and the surrounding stone erupted in a savage explosion and was engulfed in a hellish inferno. A dervish of crimson flame and acrid smoke spun and swirled in the hall.For a moment, Kuzon’s body froze uncontrollably. But then a plan struck his mind as if someone had planted it there. He raced down the Knowledge Tower and took the fastest tram to Ta-Metru.

-

Kuzon hurriedly flipped several switches on and adjusted a set of dials, all the while muttering darkly under his breath. He worked as swiftly and precisely as possible, and for once he was glad that the lab was so small. Everything he needed was within reach.I’ll stop him before he can kill Ahn or Cela,’ he thought hysterically. ‘And no one will know.He strode to the computer next to the mirror. A few nimble keystrokes, and the machine hummed to life, the glass rippling like disturbed water.Kuzon snatched his pack and a new knife, and took a step toward the mirror. His foot neared the fluctuating portal and a brilliant blade protruded from his chest. Kuzon toppled backward, eyes rolling back into his head.Behind him, the assassin lowered his hand with a sigh of relief. He reached up and reassuringly rubbed a large crack at the bottom of his mask as he examined the body of the Ko-Matoran."That went well," he murmured.

Edited by Zero Makuta, Apr 24 2012 - 08:17 PM.

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Posted Image

Unity. . . Got it covered


Duty . . . Well, still working on it.


DESTINY . . . Meh.


2 out of 3. =D


#2 Offline Athmos

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Posted Apr 24 2012 - 06:45 PM

The plot of this story, is like Inception. I'm still grasping at what happened, trying to unravel it. Besides the plot, your writing skills were excellent. No grammar problems, as far as I could tell.
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WIP


#3 Offline Toa of Snow and slush

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Posted May 05 2012 - 02:34 PM

I liked it, but don't be afraid to put more details in. I think the story would be easier to understand if we knew more about what they were working on. Otherwise, very good.
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flash=250,100][/flash]

#4 Offline Zero Makuta

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Posted May 07 2012 - 08:40 PM

Well, the idea is so that the reader could figure it out, instead of straight-out saying it - but there are multiple stories that could be taken from it. For instance, it could be a time machine, or it could be a replicator machine or something like that. ;)~ZM
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Posted Image

Unity. . . Got it covered


Duty . . . Well, still working on it.


DESTINY . . . Meh.


2 out of 3. =D


#5 Offline fishers64

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Posted May 08 2012 - 12:07 AM

Well, that was an interesting story. Are you planning a sequel? I would like to know what the mirror is, who the assassin was and why he was after the device, and why the three scientists were so excited about it. This story is very good, with the sense of mystery it conjures up - but it is, as you say, able to expand in any direction. Go forth and conquer - you certainly have the writing skill to pull it off, if this story is any evidence of it. :)
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#6 Offline Zero Makuta

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Posted May 08 2012 - 07:10 AM

Read closely in the story. The assassin's identity is in there, but you have to read a certain pair of lines in order to figure it out. :)Hmmm, probably not a sequel, but I do have other ideas for short stories. I felt good leaving this one where it is.I will tell you what the machine is though; it will clear up your questions. It's a time machine.~ZM
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Posted Image

Unity. . . Got it covered


Duty . . . Well, still working on it.


DESTINY . . . Meh.


2 out of 3. =D


#7 Offline Neelh

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Posted May 18 2012 - 01:11 PM

As he lay on his cot, he laced his fingers behind his head and stared at the ceiling with a dreamy smile, occasionally rubbing a crack at the bottom of his mask.

He reached up and reassuringly rubbed a large crack at the bottom of his mask as he examined the body of the Ko-Matoran.

Mirror Mirror. It's a cloning machine. The clone was the assassin. Kuzon tried to reverse it, but his clone hilled him before it could happen.Edit: Wait, it's a time machine. The clone is him from his past? But why would he want to kill him?

Edited by Neelh, May 18 2012 - 01:13 PM.

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Tahu.png

 

i wanna be the very best

like no one ever was

to catch them is my real test

to train them is my cause


#8 Offline Zero Makuta

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Posted May 18 2012 - 07:19 PM

It's a paradox. :) The past Kuzon came back to kill the assassin that had come after him, which is Kuzon.~ZM
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Unity. . . Got it covered


Duty . . . Well, still working on it.


DESTINY . . . Meh.


2 out of 3. =D


#9 Offline Neelh

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Posted May 19 2012 - 08:30 AM

But how was he alive to go back..? Maybe he then stepped through the portal and started the loop again?
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Tahu.png

 

i wanna be the very best

like no one ever was

to catch them is my real test

to train them is my cause


#10 Offline Zero Makuta

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Posted May 19 2012 - 06:20 PM

The story is based on the paradox, if you go back in time and kill your grandpa, will you cease to exist? It's the end of the paradox; who knows where it go?~ZM
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Posted Image

Unity. . . Got it covered


Duty . . . Well, still working on it.


DESTINY . . . Meh.


2 out of 3. =D


#11 Offline Neelh

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Posted May 20 2012 - 12:00 PM

I guess so.
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Tahu.png

 

i wanna be the very best

like no one ever was

to catch them is my real test

to train them is my cause


#12 Offline Makuta Matata

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Posted May 22 2012 - 07:50 PM

Whoa. That's deep. I like it. Very nice job.
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