shadow pridak money gang Posted May 4, 2012 Share Posted May 4, 2012 (edited) This is for review of my new BZPRPG backstory epic, Psycho. Please check back regularly for an updated Table of Contents.Thanks for reading (and hopefully reviewing)!Table of ContentsPrologueChapter 1Chapter 2-Teezy Edited May 19, 2012 by Tyler Durden Quote SAY IT ONE MORE TIME TELL ME WHAT IS ON YOUR MIND Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Legolover-361 Posted May 4, 2012 Share Posted May 4, 2012 The prologue is promising. I really enjoy your laid-back narration intermixed with your main character's thoughts; it's easy to read yet still gripping. The killing could use some more explanation; otherwise, I have no critiques. Quote (( BZPRPG profiles: Kynaera, Nova )) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grant-Sud Posted May 5, 2012 Share Posted May 5, 2012 A pretty unique way to start off the epic. First off the high points. Details are very good especially toward the death scenes and the explanations as to "why this formula will kill you" why "this technique is effective..." are written to feel accurate. Only from the first prologue you can tell the guy knows what he's doing. And that brings me to the second point, main character. He's pretty different and insanely unique for a character, basically a walking grim reaper with humor. I'm interested in what he does and why he does it, very well done and to be honest I'm hoping to see some awesome development in him. The character is something I haven't seen that unique in a while.For the downs. If you have a great character, he needs a great story, and I'm hoping to see where this leads. The first chapter is more of a start off for who these people are, but I'd like to know where it's going. The other down, and this is more of a personal thing for me, the story is pretty dark and not in the symbolic hidden meaning way (at least not yet). So that's kind of a turn off for me...However, it's done well and I can't wait to check out the next chapter man. :3 Quote The Island with a Lot of CavesCurly Brace | Sue | King | Polar Star | Outer Wall Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shadow pridak money gang Posted May 11, 2012 Author Share Posted May 11, 2012 Thanks, guys. :)New chapter up.-Teezy Quote SAY IT ONE MORE TIME TELL ME WHAT IS ON YOUR MIND Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZOMBI3S Posted May 12, 2012 Share Posted May 12, 2012 This is freakin awesome. I like how you manage to tell the story with as little dialogue as possible, saving that to flesh out other characters, making them seem like real people. The way you weave the dictionary definitions into it is nice too, it makes this story very unique. I also really like the main character. He just doesn't care about anything. Keep it up the good work. Quote REVIEW TOPIC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shadow pridak money gang Posted May 19, 2012 Author Share Posted May 19, 2012 So I read the prologue and I'm reeeeally liking this story so far. The voice alone reminds me a lot of writers like Chuck Palahniuk and Bret Easton Ellis and novels like House of Leaves and Beat the Reaper... are any of these influences by any chance?Anyway as I said I like the narrator's voice a lot, it's distinctive enough to be unique and also sets up the character really well. Having only read the prologue, all I know about his motivations and stuff is that he's a psychopath, as the title would suggest, so I'd like to see if there's anything behind it or if it's just his lust to kill.Not much to say since not much happens, but the deaths so far have been creative and I'd love to see more of this psycho. I'll try my best to keep up! As for the colored dialogue, that's an interesting method.Also: "...teeth the size of piano keys..." Chiodos reference? :BThe bold parts give me faith in humanity.House of Leaves is one of my favorite books of all time, and Palahniuk and Ellis are easily two of my favorite authors, Palahniuk being at the top. Choke is one of my top influences writing this.Glad to hear you like it, man! Miss you around the forums.-Teezy Quote SAY IT ONE MORE TIME TELL ME WHAT IS ON YOUR MIND Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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