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Dark Mirror: Part Ii Review Topic

Shadows Epic

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107 replies to this topic

#41 Offline Scratch

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Posted May 12 2012 - 05:38 PM

Ok so they aren't shadows... Well then... They seem to act similar to The Legend of Zelda's Redeads, while still retaining that eerie sense of 'what are you?' mystery over time. Also are the skeletons the creatures', dare I say it, former meals...

Edited by scrathor, May 12 2012 - 05:44 PM.

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Now fades the great harvest of my betrayal...


#42 Offline Pokémon Trainer N

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Posted May 13 2012 - 04:28 AM

Ok so they aren't shadows... Well then... They seem to act similar to The Legend of Zelda's Redeads, while still retaining that eerie sense of 'what are you?' mystery over time. Also are the skeletons the creatures', dare I say it, former meals...

The answer to the skeletons has already been revealed, you just have to look carefully for where it is...Also, no-one has gone into detail on the little white Matoran yet. Such a shame. You'll be kicking yourselves later.

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Someday, you're going to need help. Someday, you're going to turn to me, because there's no one else left. And when you do, I will say 'no'. I will look you dead in the eyes and I will say no, because you let her die, David. 

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"There's a new world on the way."

 

Marked: Chapter 12 Coming Soon

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slothy slothy slothpants

bzprpg 2013 y'all


#43 Offline Scratch

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Posted May 13 2012 - 11:35 AM

Wait a minute... That bit at the end of Chapter 5... The creatures aren't called... Are they? That is no coincidence...

Edited by scrathor, May 13 2012 - 11:35 AM.

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Now fades the great harvest of my betrayal...


#44 Offline Pokémon Trainer N

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Posted May 13 2012 - 11:39 AM

Wait a minute... That bit at the end of Chapter 5... The creatures aren't called... Are they? That is no coincidence...

I don't know what you're talking about.

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Someday, you're going to need help. Someday, you're going to turn to me, because there's no one else left. And when you do, I will say 'no'. I will look you dead in the eyes and I will say no, because you let her die, David. 

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"There's a new world on the way."

 

Marked: Chapter 12 Coming Soon

Review Topic

 

slothy slothy slothpants

bzprpg 2013 y'all


#45 Offline Alex Turner

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Posted May 13 2012 - 11:47 AM

He was talking about the Whispers. Didn't you make a language for them or something? He was implying that they're the stalkers.Sooo, Chapter 6... Slightly rushed, it seemed. Reichenbach's name's origin was terrible, the dialogue when Reich was talking to the Ta-Matoran was pathetically simple and the Ta-Matoran was too easily convinced, and the last couple of lines did not have the same impact as they usually do.Although I liked the parts where Vorex was writing Whispers, and the password bit, it didn't seem like you put a lot of effort into this chapter.
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But that place on memory lane you liked still looks the same / But something 'bout it's changed


#46 Offline Pokémon Trainer N

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Posted May 13 2012 - 11:56 AM

I did make a language, yeah. I knew what he was talking about. I probably should have put the ':sly:' emote in there. XPNone of it really needed to be complex. Reichenbach's name origin hasn't been completely revealed, yet. He still has to get his name. And the last few lines, well, it may end up ever-so-slightly more effective when you find out what's in the room. Of course, it's a lotta skeletons, or Shadows, or some other messed-up thing, right?Nope. This should have an impact on how you look at the whole Time-Keeper thing. And the voice, especially. Because there is so much that you don't know yet.Overall, it was a bit simple, yes. However, it's likely that it seems simpler because I haven't been throwing out plot development every few lines. I took this chapter as a chapter-to-lead-in-to-Chapter-7. Which should be good. And then, I'll keep my Chapter 8 tradition. :evilgrin:
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Someday, you're going to need help. Someday, you're going to turn to me, because there's no one else left. And when you do, I will say 'no'. I will look you dead in the eyes and I will say no, because you let her die, David. 

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"There's a new world on the way."

 

Marked: Chapter 12 Coming Soon

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slothy slothy slothpants

bzprpg 2013 y'all


#47 Offline Alex Turner

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Posted May 14 2012 - 02:55 PM

ZOMBBIIIEESSS... Again. But still zombies, and you knew I'd like that.At first I thought that Ta-Matoran was a prick, but then that was washed away by me realising that I WAS RIGHT ABOUT THE BIG BROTHER THING I'M SO PLEASED WITH MYSELF OMGSeriously though, pretty much makes up for the Karzfest that was the chapter before it.
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But that place on memory lane you liked still looks the same / But something 'bout it's changed


#48 Offline Pokémon Trainer N

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Posted May 14 2012 - 02:57 PM

ZOMBBIIIEESSS... Again. But still zombies, and you knew I'd like that.At first I thought that Ta-Matoran was a prick, but then that was washed away by me realising that I WAS RIGHT ABOUT THE BIG BROTHER THING I'M SO PLEASED WITH MYSELF OMGSeriously though, pretty much makes up for the Karzfest that was the chapter before it.

Yes, but no.He is a prick. He's a complete and utter gitball. AND YOU SHOULD BE SO HAPPY WITH YOURSELF. (But it wasn't actually being broadcast on live television, that was just a tip of the hat to your Big Brother thing. XP)Hey, Chapter 6 wasn't that bad.

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Someday, you're going to need help. Someday, you're going to turn to me, because there's no one else left. And when you do, I will say 'no'. I will look you dead in the eyes and I will say no, because you let her die, David. 

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"There's a new world on the way."

 

Marked: Chapter 12 Coming Soon

Review Topic

 

slothy slothy slothpants

bzprpg 2013 y'all


#49 Offline The Lonesome Wanderer

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Posted May 14 2012 - 05:30 PM

the zombies are back......Karz
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"Go beyond the impossible, and kick reason to the curb! That's how Team Gurren rolls!"

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#50 Offline Pokémon Trainer N

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Posted May 14 2012 - 05:34 PM

LOLZ. http://www.bzpower.c...tyle_emoticons/default/cool.png
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Someday, you're going to need help. Someday, you're going to turn to me, because there's no one else left. And when you do, I will say 'no'. I will look you dead in the eyes and I will say no, because you let her die, David. 

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"There's a new world on the way."

 

Marked: Chapter 12 Coming Soon

Review Topic

 

slothy slothy slothpants

bzprpg 2013 y'all


#51 Online Onarax

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Posted May 15 2012 - 04:31 AM

The Ta-Matoran is now designated villain #1. Also, Reich's name's origin was ... cheesy.
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#52 Offline Pokémon Trainer N

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Posted May 15 2012 - 11:45 AM

The Ta-Matoran is now designated villain #1. Also, Reich's name's origin was ... cheesy.

Not name origin. There is more to his name than that. We (meaning you, my guinea pigs readers) will find out soon enough.

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Someday, you're going to need help. Someday, you're going to turn to me, because there's no one else left. And when you do, I will say 'no'. I will look you dead in the eyes and I will say no, because you let her die, David. 

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"There's a new world on the way."

 

Marked: Chapter 12 Coming Soon

Review Topic

 

slothy slothy slothpants

bzprpg 2013 y'all


#53 Offline fishers64

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Posted May 21 2012 - 05:07 PM

You just left me with Incommodo falling into a waterfall, and now you are talking about his past life in an attempt to avoid that obvious plot point which must be addressed? Grr. *pounds table* (And if you do that, don’t call it Dark Mirror Part II in order to fool me!) :)

He eventually decided that it protected them from whatever resided in another tower, just outside the border, on an island of its own.

Does that mean that he saw another tower on the opposite island, or is he making stuff up out of his imagination? If you meant that he saw something on the other island, “decided” is probably not the best word choice there.I have to admit, despite all, that this is your best writing yet. You have conveyed a deep sense of mystery and employed excellent characterization. For example, the dialogue between Vorex, Niakarra, and Incommodo provides strong evidence of their unique characters – Vorex as cold and distant, Niakarra as easily annoyed by others, and Incommodo as the overly social blabbermouth. (You didn’t need to tell us he was! It was evident from the next scene!)

The group ran to where it came from, only to find Vorex crouched in a foetal position, in the corner of his room. “They’re in the walls... they’re in the walls...”

Should be “fetal” position.Chapter 5:Everyone else: Ahhh! Creepy-ghost things!Incommodo: Just a few skeletons in the closet. Nothing to worry about.Great job, and keep writing! You’re getting better!

Edited by fishers64, May 21 2012 - 05:07 PM.

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#54 Offline Pokémon Trainer N

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Posted May 21 2012 - 05:13 PM

Don't worry, the epilogue will address that. XDI believe I mentioned spiked walls. He believed that there was something on the other island, but it hasn't OFFICIALLY been confirmed.Thanks, I tried to put work into the characterisation. :DI'm in Ireland, so we have different spellings like 'foetal', and 'sceptical' rather than 'fetal' and 'skeptical'.Thankyou. :PThamks! :)
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Someday, you're going to need help. Someday, you're going to turn to me, because there's no one else left. And when you do, I will say 'no'. I will look you dead in the eyes and I will say no, because you let her die, David. 

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"There's a new world on the way."

 

Marked: Chapter 12 Coming Soon

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slothy slothy slothpants

bzprpg 2013 y'all


#55 Offline Alex Turner

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Posted May 22 2012 - 01:09 PM

Bit 1: I love how Reich still denies being the villain, even after making this whole plot and such :lol: I liked the re-alive part too.Bit 2: I thought the fight was a bit short, but it held some nice plot development. I was watching a film just now where a similar thing happens, actually :rolleyes: Wait a minute...Bit 3: I love how whoever made that door did a pretty rubbish job of hiding it. I mean really, who wouldn't pick up the title-less book? Unless they wanted Strave to find out...Bit 4: SKELETOOONNNSSS!! Not as catchy as 'zombies' to be honest, but still pretty cool.
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But that place on memory lane you liked still looks the same / But something 'bout it's changed


#56 Offline Pokémon Trainer N

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Posted May 22 2012 - 01:12 PM

1: Thanks and thanks. :P2: What film was this?3: Thankyou, and no comment.4: Yup.
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Someday, you're going to need help. Someday, you're going to turn to me, because there's no one else left. And when you do, I will say 'no'. I will look you dead in the eyes and I will say no, because you let her die, David. 

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"There's a new world on the way."

 

Marked: Chapter 12 Coming Soon

Review Topic

 

slothy slothy slothpants

bzprpg 2013 y'all


#57 Offline Scratch

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Posted May 23 2012 - 04:25 AM

Are we dealing with multiple species or one species with many different forms? Also (and I can't believe it took me this long to piece this together), but I finally figured out why the fight between the Ta-Matoran and Vorex seemed so familiar. You really are covering everything, aren't you?
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Now fades the great harvest of my betrayal...


#58 Offline fishers64

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Posted May 23 2012 - 10:19 AM

I noted Chapter 8.

Vorex leapt at the Ta-Matoran, who only just made it out of the way. “Go to Karzahni.”“Haven’t you noticed? We’re already there.” The Ta-Matoran kicked Vorex square in the chest, sending him stumbling backwards.

I don't know. Karzanhi is a lot more disturbed, and last I checked there was no Golden Tower...:) :) But yeah, it's really hard to get worse than that tower...something tells me that it will be soon...I like the sarcastic dark-humor tone of this chapter, especially as it was brought out with that scene between Inc and De-Matoran.

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#59 Offline Pokémon Trainer N

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Posted May 23 2012 - 02:45 PM

I noted Chapter 8.

Vorex leapt at the Ta-Matoran, who only just made it out of the way. “Go to Karzahni.”“Haven’t you noticed? We’re already there.” The Ta-Matoran kicked Vorex square in the chest, sending him stumbling backwards.

I don't know. Karzanhi is a lot more disturbed, and last I checked there was no Golden Tower... :) :) But yeah, it's really hard to get worse than that tower...something tells me that it will be soon...I like the sarcastic dark-humor tone of this chapter, especially as it was brought out with that scene between Inc and De-Matoran.

Well, it has evil dead people. Does that count? XDThankyou, I enjoyed writing that part. :biggrin:

Are we dealing with multiple species or one species with many different forms? Also (and I can't believe it took me this long to piece this together), but I finally figured out why the fight between the Ta-Matoran and Vorex seemed so familiar. You really are covering everything, aren't you?

I will say nothing. All will be revealed.THAT WAS NOT DELIBERATE. I swear, I was not thinking about TF2.

Edited by Vorex: Shadow Master, May 23 2012 - 02:47 PM.

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Someday, you're going to need help. Someday, you're going to turn to me, because there's no one else left. And when you do, I will say 'no'. I will look you dead in the eyes and I will say no, because you let her die, David. 

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"There's a new world on the way."

 

Marked: Chapter 12 Coming Soon

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slothy slothy slothpants

bzprpg 2013 y'all


#60 Offline Scratch

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Posted May 24 2012 - 11:46 PM

I will say nothing. All will be revealed.THAT WAS NOT DELIBERATE. I swear, I was not thinking about TF2.

Somewhow I doubt that. http://www.bzpower.c...tyle_emoticons/default/sarcastic.gif

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Now fades the great harvest of my betrayal...


#61 Offline Pokémon Trainer N

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Posted May 25 2012 - 11:32 AM

I will say nothing. All will be revealed.THAT WAS NOT DELIBERATE. I swear, I was not thinking about TF2.

Somewhow I doubt that. http://www.bzpower.c...tyle_emoticons/default/sarcastic.gif

I wasn't! I didn't even watch that film until a short while ago, and I wrote that chapter before I'd even posted Chapter 7! (If you're wondering about why it took so long to post it, I was on a sort of 'strike' until Shattered Mask Productions finished the banner, seeing as I was so far through it and it still wasn't ready)

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Someday, you're going to need help. Someday, you're going to turn to me, because there's no one else left. And when you do, I will say 'no'. I will look you dead in the eyes and I will say no, because you let her die, David. 

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"There's a new world on the way."

 

Marked: Chapter 12 Coming Soon

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slothy slothy slothpants

bzprpg 2013 y'all


#62 Offline Alex Turner

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Posted Jun 09 2012 - 10:43 AM

Whether you copied ROTF or not, I had watched said film literally the night before, and that scene in particular was fresh in my memory :PAnyway, new chapter:Bit 1: Not much to say here...Bit 2: So what species exactly did that skeleton used to be? Also, this thing looks mildly creepy in my mind. Mainly because in my mind it has been exaggerated on tremendously compared to your actual description :PBit 3: I lol'd.Bit 4: I lol'd again. Inc you sneaky devil, you!Bit 5: So, good ol' fashioned falling down the stairs I see. An interesting choice :lol:Bit 6: Zombie-skeletons with... Teleporting powers? :???:All in all, this chapter was a lot of fun, but it felt like it needed more seriousness to it than it had.
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But that place on memory lane you liked still looks the same / But something 'bout it's changed


#63 Offline Pokémon Trainer N

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Posted Jun 09 2012 - 10:57 AM

Bit 1: You could have mentioned its mysteriousness. Like Big Brother's 'mistake', which has been heavily hinted at throughout the epic.Bit 2: I'm afraid I can't tell you that.Bit 3: Thankyou.Bit 4: Yup. XDBit 5: Falling down the stairs is always fun.Bit 6: Maybe... :evilgrin:The next chapter will be more serious.
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Someday, you're going to need help. Someday, you're going to turn to me, because there's no one else left. And when you do, I will say 'no'. I will look you dead in the eyes and I will say no, because you let her die, David. 

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"There's a new world on the way."

 

Marked: Chapter 12 Coming Soon

Review Topic

 

slothy slothy slothpants

bzprpg 2013 y'all


#64 Offline Excelsior

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Posted Jun 09 2012 - 03:49 PM

Okay. I would like to start off by saying that, despite never having posted in your review topic before, I have read Shadows, Whispers, Aftershock, Dark Mirror: Part I, all there is of Dark MIrror: Part II...AND I STILL HAVE NO IDEA WHAT'S GOING ON.Undead skeletons in the walls, disappearing doors, hidden cameras, and also the crying Matoran, who seems to be in a different category than the other creatures. Those are the things I have NO explanation for.Then there are the things I feel like I should have an explanation for, which are more frustrating.I'm guessing those pieces of paper in Reichenbach's room were left by his future self, maybe? I don't think any of them have really explored their powers yet.The scrawls in Nikarra's room - well, I feel like they could have been left by him too, but I have no real reason for that. Then there's the piece of paper in Inc's closet and the mysterious volume about Sanarax, which just happened to have a dictionary next to it.And then there's the room with the mirror in it. I can't believe it took me till just now to think of this, but - was that the Dark Mirror? Or is there some giant, obvious hole in that theory?Well, I think that's all about the plot mysteries. Now let's look at the characters. I've seen other people talking about your BZPRPG characters, which makes me feel even more lost, since I have absolutely no acquaintance with the BZPRPG. Oh well. Probably won't affect my ideas too much.The Ta-Matoran seems to be surprisingly easy to manipulate, for someone who can see all of space and time. (He's also totally a monster, of course.) Then again......when I think about it, the De-Matoran has done surprisingly little I could pin down as definitely manipulative. If I didn't know he was a villain, I could believe he had good motives for all this stuff. Is he, maybe, not a villain yet? Or am I way overthinking this?Vorex is pretty much what he was in Whispers. Ko-Matoran unfortunate enough to hear voices, later turned into a monster by no fault of his own. Really have to feel sorry for him.Nikarra - pretty straightforward right now, seems like. Later, will stare into a mirror all day, waiting until she breaks it. Hey, everybody's gotta have a hobby.Strave - currently a criminal Le-Matoran with an accent who hangs out in the library a lot. Later, I'm guessing he's the Turaga who's appeared twice to talk to Inc. Unless he's Proditor, but that seems improbable. See, this is where it would help to know your BZPRPG stuff.Incommodo - the only character I know well enough to trust. That's refreshing, after all the other strangers here. He seems to be his usual self, though less experienced. I'm still wondering about the implications of his not having heard the Whispers before...So the Time Keepers are, to sum up, currently being interfered with in various ways by: Reichenbach and the Ta-Matoran, probably; the creatures in the walls and the crying Matoran; the being with the cameras; whoever left those those writings around; and whoever keeps making those doors appear and disappear, and who is possibly the cameraman.Of course, maybe the whole thing is orchestrated by him, and it's nothing more than a giant "Candid Camera" reality show stunt. "So, here's the plan: we take six random Matoran, lock them in a freaky tower together, tell them they have cool powers, mutate them a little for effect, booby-trap the walls, and see what happens!"I think that's the end of my extremely rambling review.Except, oh yeah - isn't assigning someone a character type tag like "villain" (or, say, "designated love interest") more Arkrak's thing than Inc's? Maybe he changed after that "Amnesia" Reichenbach so casually referenced in Part I. Random observation, just thought I'd mention it.Anyway, I like all your work I've read (even if it is baffling right now), and I'm definitely going to keep reading. After this, my reviews (if I also keep reviewing, which I'll try to) will be more specific, now I've gotten my general thoughts out of the way.-Excelsior

Edited by Excelsior, Jun 09 2012 - 03:51 PM.

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#65 Offline Pokémon Trainer N

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Posted Jun 09 2012 - 05:26 PM

Woah. Thankyou for that MASSIVE review. :wired:Your first two theories are painfully close, your third... well, I'm afraid I can't tell you that. :PDon't worry, it's strayed way out of BZPRPG territory by now. Just similar characters. XPThat is, of course, assuming that he CAN currently see all of space and time, and that his powers aren't being blocked or anything...Not overthinking at all, actually. The events of this epic are going to drive him to insanity and turn him into the Reich you see in Part I.Yeah, I was going for that. You read Shadows, Vorex is the bad guy and the Ta-Matoran is the good guy — except suddenly, motives are revealed and things get a lot more complicated.I have to admit, I laughed at that last line. XDYup, he's the Turaga. And he's not Proditor, they're two separate characters.Good idea to be wondering about that. If you re-read this epic, in fact, you'll find other stuff connected to that which hints towards something which will come up in The Eleventh Hour...Yup.I can tell you for a fact that that isn't what's happening.Good that you caught on to the amnesia, and although it is more Arkrak's thing, in this case Inc has been suspicious of Reichenbach right from the start.No problem! I believe all of the baffling stuff you mentioned is going to get cleared up, and thanks again for the review! :)
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Someday, you're going to need help. Someday, you're going to turn to me, because there's no one else left. And when you do, I will say 'no'. I will look you dead in the eyes and I will say no, because you let her die, David. 

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"There's a new world on the way."

 

Marked: Chapter 12 Coming Soon

Review Topic

 

slothy slothy slothpants

bzprpg 2013 y'all


#66 Offline fishers64

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Posted Jun 11 2012 - 03:26 PM

swapping his sword out for two small blades, and dashing out of the room.

Does Inc have time to swap weapons before De-Matoran reacts?Anyway, good chapter. Enjoyed the beings tripping over each other to get out. In this set, Inc is a Matoran. Are you going to tell us how he became a Toa? (Just a dumb question.)
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#67 Offline Pokémon Trainer N

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Posted Jun 12 2012 - 11:12 AM

Only just. However, the De-Matoran, being more intelligent, stayed back to avoid being part of the catastrophe on the stairs.Thankyou. :PI may well make a short story on the subject, but some of the details are revealed in the (and it includes a particular being, and the reasons that he owes Inc a favour).
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Someday, you're going to need help. Someday, you're going to turn to me, because there's no one else left. And when you do, I will say 'no'. I will look you dead in the eyes and I will say no, because you let her die, David. 

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"There's a new world on the way."

 

Marked: Chapter 12 Coming Soon

Review Topic

 

slothy slothy slothpants

bzprpg 2013 y'all


#68 Offline Alex Turner

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Posted Jun 13 2012 - 11:26 AM

Ah, a new chapter.Bit 1: So, he's a Great Being, and the guy behind the anti-climactic Marendar. Whoop de doo.Bit 2: Inc, being the one who doesn't quite fit, as usual :PBit 3:

Vorex returned a few seconds later with the broken mirror from his room, and handed it to Nikarra, who proceeded to through throw it.

Fixed that for you ;)The fact that this is a mirror makes me think.My thoughts don't go very far because I'm currently exhausted and can't be bothered to type, so that's all you're getting for now :P

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But that place on memory lane you liked still looks the same / But something 'bout it's changed


#69 Offline Pokémon Trainer N

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Posted Jun 13 2012 - 11:29 AM

1: You think that's anticlimactic? You just wait and see, Wotz... you just wait and see...2: Yup. :evilgrin:3: *Edits post* There's no mistake there, you must've just misquoted. :sarcasm2:It should do.Oh well. :P
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Someday, you're going to need help. Someday, you're going to turn to me, because there's no one else left. And when you do, I will say 'no'. I will look you dead in the eyes and I will say no, because you let her die, David. 

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"There's a new world on the way."

 

Marked: Chapter 12 Coming Soon

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bzprpg 2013 y'all


#70 Offline fishers64

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Posted Jun 13 2012 - 09:02 PM

Wait a minute...how did everyone figure out it was Va-Metru?

“Incommodo, I know you’ve formed a bad opinion of me, but you must believe me when I tell you that mine are noble intentions.”

Which is exactly what an evil traitor would say. Oh, and escaping the tower isn't exactly what the guy who put them here said they were supposed to do. Somebody, i.e. the evil GB guy is acting against them to try to resolve the Marendar mess? That's all for now. :)

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#71 Offline Pokémon Trainer N

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Posted Jun 14 2012 - 12:30 AM

They've known it was called Va-Metru since Chapter 2.Indeed it is, although he actually means it.The evil GB guy is going to be trying to fix something, but it's not that...Thanks. :)
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Someday, you're going to need help. Someday, you're going to turn to me, because there's no one else left. And when you do, I will say 'no'. I will look you dead in the eyes and I will say no, because you let her die, David. 

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"There's a new world on the way."

 

Marked: Chapter 12 Coming Soon

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slothy slothy slothpants

bzprpg 2013 y'all


#72 Offline Scratch

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Posted Jun 14 2012 - 07:10 PM

Wow. Just.... WOW. So Inc brings about the end (or is at least responsible for it). Now my question is this: The memories: everything we just witnessed, or something else entirely?
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Now fades the great harvest of my betrayal...


#73 Offline fishers64

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Posted Jun 14 2012 - 07:42 PM

The end of chapter 11 was confusing...so De-Matoran/Reichenbach is falling, Inc is in some sort of dream, and somewhere else Inc is falling, but can get out using his Kualsi. Okay...Is the "main universe" falling Incommodo the guy from the end of part I who was falling? That would make sense...
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#74 Offline Pokémon Trainer N

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Posted Jun 15 2012 - 12:54 AM

@fishers: De-Matoran/Reichenbach just fell. The 'main universe' was Part I Incommodo.@scrathor: The memories are everything we just witnessed.
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Someday, you're going to need help. Someday, you're going to turn to me, because there's no one else left. And when you do, I will say 'no'. I will look you dead in the eyes and I will say no, because you let her die, David. 

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"There's a new world on the way."

 

Marked: Chapter 12 Coming Soon

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slothy slothy slothpants

bzprpg 2013 y'all


#75 Online Onarax

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Posted Jun 15 2012 - 04:46 AM

I have long come to realise that your story is basically a massive group of gambits piled together, with some sprinkling of madness.That my friend, is why I've come to enjoy it.So time-travel/alternate universe hijinks I suppose?
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#76 Offline Alex Turner

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Posted Jun 15 2012 - 10:27 AM

Forget the bit format, my brains are fried.I'm going to skip the complicated and look at the fact that not only Inc, but all of us readers, forgot he had a Kualsi and could simply appear somewhere else... Again. This is just like the time when he was tied up in the RPG for like a week then remembered he had a Kualsi after this huge wild goose chase :lol:Now, the rest. Reich said something about him having to die to do whatever, so I presume that's why all these characters exist in the future/main universe instead of randomly dying.I suspect we're supposed to think The Eleventh Hour will have a really dark ending from the fact that Toa Inc 'dies' here, but naturally time will change or Inc will survive death or something like that.What I'm still confused by is that it wasn't explained (or at least not clearly) what all these skeletons and stuff were, or who Big Brother was.
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But that place on memory lane you liked still looks the same / But something 'bout it's changed


#77 Offline Pokémon Trainer N

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Posted Jun 15 2012 - 02:55 PM

@Hubert: But of course! Well, not time-travel so much as travel to the Va-Metru bubble-universe where time flows differently but, y'know. (Also, I take all that madness stuff as a compliment. :P)@Wotz: As they should be. :lol:I loved writing that bit in the RPG. XDThere was a clue as to what happened there when future-Inc was fried.Well, that's what you think... :sly:Don't worry, Big Brother will be one of the primary antagonists in the, along with a few old and new enemies. Stormy knows how the begins, and the beginning is pretty dark in itself. In fact, looking at it, the whole of the is dark. I made a dark epic. Sweet. http://www.bzpower.c...tyle_emoticons/default/cool.png
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Someday, you're going to need help. Someday, you're going to turn to me, because there's no one else left. And when you do, I will say 'no'. I will look you dead in the eyes and I will say no, because you let her die, David. 

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"There's a new world on the way."

 

Marked: Chapter 12 Coming Soon

Review Topic

 

slothy slothy slothpants

bzprpg 2013 y'all


#78 Offline Alex Turner

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Posted Jun 16 2012 - 03:13 PM

"...so that I can see you before the apocalypse."*Cue Doctor Who theme*

Anyway, love the cliffhanger ending, though there are some things I don't understand.Why exactly did Nikarra smash the mirror? Did she even know what would happen?Also, that Dun thing was kind lame. You could have said something else, but Dun? Really? :PAt least Raking Back was cool http://www.bzpower.c...tyle_emoticons/default/cool.png (Yes, I'm calling him that from now on)

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But that place on memory lane you liked still looks the same / But something 'bout it's changed


#79 Offline Pokémon Trainer N

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Posted Jun 16 2012 - 03:32 PM

I was actually thinking about the DW theme right after writing that. XDShe knew that she had no other choice. She didn't know exactly what would happen, only that the world would likely end as a consequence.Hey, it was between that, 'ding' or 'bong'. Do you REALLY think that 'ding' or 'bong' would have been better? :sly:Silly Wotz. It's Rake-in-back, not Raking Back (also, credit goes to Tyler Durden for that. :P).
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Someday, you're going to need help. Someday, you're going to turn to me, because there's no one else left. And when you do, I will say 'no'. I will look you dead in the eyes and I will say no, because you let her die, David. 

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"There's a new world on the way."

 

Marked: Chapter 12 Coming Soon

Review Topic

 

slothy slothy slothpants

bzprpg 2013 y'all


#80 Offline Scratch

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Posted Jun 16 2012 - 03:36 PM

Who is this humanoid Shadow? Seems a bit like an identical twin... Lol. JKHow long till The Eleventh Hour after that showstopping epilogue?

Edited by scrathor, Jun 16 2012 - 03:36 PM.

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Now fades the great harvest of my betrayal...





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