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It's A Mad House!

Kaza PurpleBouncy Mad House Unlikely hero Kurahkzon Action-comedy

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#121 Offline King of the Madness Isles

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Posted Jun 26 2012 - 01:41 PM

New chapter on Tuesday (and you probably thought I wouldn't post one!).@MT: Actually, it's not the battle in Molta that's the most fun, but another battle!And apologies for making this chapter long (around 1,800 words. I try to shoot for no more than 1,500, but I go over often). I also feel like I messed up somewhere in the chapter, so if you notice any inconsistency or something tell me.Chapter Sixty-Seven: The Battle of Molta (and Vez-Mart)In the city of Molta...A Urohk ran at Narra, who kicked off a wall behind him, flipping over the enemy and stabbing him in the back with his sword. He whirled around and slew another Urohk, and then fought his way through the crowd. A particularly large Urohk approached him, wielding a warhammer. Narra took a stab at his foe’s armor, which did nothing. As the Urohk raised his hammer, Narra saw Brekit leap above their opponent and bring his club down on his head, killing him.On top of a building...Junus: This is really bad...I’m supposed to be their leader, yet I can’t even go down there and fight for them.Nuhrii: That’s okay, you’re only a Matoran. I’ll protect you for now. Besides, all of my friends except the other Cerun are cowering on top of another building.Meanwhile...Iruini: This sucks.Ehlek: (looks at his phone) And not only are we trapped, but there was no new Zelda or Half-Life at E3!Makuta: GAH!!!Meanwhile (again)...Kaza leapt from a building and slashed through the air with the Phoenix Blade, causing a whoosh of fire that leveled him. He held the sword out and glided towards a fire escape on an apartment complex. He dropped down on it and looked over the battle for any sign of Khounad. But he needed only look just above him.The self-proclaimed new Urohk leader landed behind him from an above fire escape and kicked him in the back. Kaza fell forwards, breaking through the rail and dropping onto a deck, landing hard on his back. Khounad jumped down towards him, sword ready to impale him, but Kaza, still lying down, kicked a table forwards, hitting into Khounad as he reached the deck and knocking him through the railing. Kaza watched as his enemy fell multiple stories towards the streets below, his sword lying there. Kaza took it and sheathed it with the Blade and his Element Axe.Kaza: Whew...glad that’s ove-CREAK!Kaza: #$@%.The deck broke off the building and the Toa plummeted, still lying on top of it.Below...Khounad: *groans*The dispirited villain slowly got to his feet, his armor cracked and on the ground in pieces. He limped forwards, the fall having wounded his leg.Khounad: Oh, I’ll just hide inside this-WHAM!The deck landed on top of Khounad, breaking the fall somewhat, but still hurting Kaza’s back.Kaza: Oof! What did I land on?On top of a building...Nuhrii was fighting off Urohk after Urohk. They had climbed to the roof to get Junus, as he was the new leader of Saron. The Toa of Sugar was fending them off as well as he could.Nuhrii: Junus, get out of here!The Toa shoved his sword through another enemy, and glazed over two more, then kicked them off the roof.Junus: How do I get down?Nuhrii: Like this!Nuhrii pushed his friend off a roof (interesting statement), letting him hit into the top fire escape.Nuhrii: Now hop down one at a time! Fast!The Toa flipped another one over the side of the building and Junus watched him fall right by him as he cautiously but quickly jumped down.Nuhrii glazed another one and threw him into the crowd, knocking them down so he could finish them. They were the last of the ones on the roof.Nuhrii: This is just too easy.Pridak: WOAH!!!WHAM!Pridak slammed into Nuhrii, knocking him to the ground.Nuhrii: WHERE DID YOU FALL FROM?!Pridak: The building next to this. I wanted to get in on the battle.Nuhrii: Well, great idea jumping on me. Do you want me to fight with a broken back?Pridak: You could use a challenge, hiding with all the easy stuff.Nuhrii: Fine. Wanna go down there? We’ll use the fire escape.They both jumped onto the old fire escape. It creaked, filling them with dread.Pridak: You know, I saw a deck on another building fall earlier with some people on it. Whoever’s the architect should really consider going back to-SNAP!The fire escape fell, smashing into all of the ones below it, and ripping them from the building, until a large tower of them landed on the ground, Pridak and Nuhrii atop it.Nuhrii: Now THAT belongs in a movie.Pridak: Don’t worry, my movie deal’s coming along nicely. (puts on sunglasses)Nuhrii: *sigh*Back on Earth, outside of Vez-Mart...Tahu (wearing green armor): This is great-we’ve been appointed a hundred of Treerule’s finest soldiers to lead into battle!Lewa: There’s no way we can lose now. Hey, look-it’s the KCOBAKB!Tahu: ...in three bulldozers.Lewa: Where do they get this stuff?Tahu (to soldiers): You can attack now!Toa #1: ....um...sure.One of the Toa hesitantly walked up to the lead bulldozer. It slowed to a stop.Jaller: Who are you?Toa #1: Well, I’m one of the Toa you guys had a bounty on a few years ago. And I’m here to help stop you.Jaller: Hm. And...you’re going to take down this bulldozer how?Toa #1: With the power of the Toa!The Toa smacked his sword against the bulldozer.SNAP!Toa #1: ...I guess Lego didn’t pack quite enough power into my 72 pieces.Jaller: Nope.The bulldozer rolled forwards and crunched the Toa underneath it.Lewa: NO! WHY!Tahu: Attack! In memory of...um...Wounded Toa: No...it’s...okay...I’m somehow...still...barely...alive...Tahu: SHUT UP WE NEED MOTIVATION! CHAAAARGE!The ninety-nine remaining Toa ran forwards, followed halfheartedly by Lewa and Tahu. The Toa in the lead jumped up onto the front of the bulldozer, and ten more leapt onto it and began to climb up. Jaller, who was driving the bulldozer, was guarded on either side by a Krekka and a Nidhiki set.Krekka kicked one Toa off, but another grabbed onto his leg. He smacked his opponent into the side of the bulldozer, but another grabbed onto his other leg, and they pulled him off with them, and jumped on him once they reached the ground, dismantling him.Jaller (nervously): Nidhiki stop them!Nidhiki: I’m trying!The 2004 set kicked two more Toa off, but they just kept climbing up. A Toa tried to climb up on the unguarded side, but Jaller kicked him down.Tahu: We need to do something and stop that bulldozer! It’s the one closest to Vez-Mart-it’s already cleared half the huge parking lot!Lewa: Are you ready to be a hero?Tahu: I’ve been ready for years!Lewa: Alright!Lewa took off running for the bulldozer, followed by Tahu. The two tried to jump onto the front of it, but were scooped up and held in full view of Jaller.Jaller: And there’s my captors, trapped.Lewa: Actually we can jump at you whenever we want to.Jaller: ...Lewa: ...Tahu: ...Lewa: DIE!Lewa flung himself at Jaller, smashing through a windshield. He slammed into the Ta-Matoran.Jaller: I can almost see your gravestone, fool!Jaller held up a small sword and whacked Lewa with it repeatedly while the Toa of Air clung to him.Nidhiki tried to pry Lewa off of Jaller, but Tahu grabbed the edge of the windshield’s frame and swung at the Dark Hunter with his legs outstretched, kicking him off and into a group of waiting Toa.Lewa lifted Jaller into the air.Lewa: I can see your gravestone. And it looks like a parking lot.Lewa flung Jaller out of the broken windshield and into the path of the bulldozer to be crushed.Tahu: Nice one liner.Lewa: Thanks. And now the real party begins.Lewa and Tahu took control of the fork lift (they learned through trial and error, and managed to tear up some of the parking lot), and then turned it around and facing one of the two remaining bulldozers. They lifted up the arm and headed towards the other vehicle.Toa: No! Don’t-WHAM!Tahu: One down!They turned around again and smashed into the last bulldozer. The head of the KCOBAKB, a Toa MoC, tried to jump out of it, but was stopped by Aero, who was fighting him inside it as Lewa and Tahu pushed it closer to the edge of the parking lot. The lot was on a hill, and below that part of the hill was a large lake.Lewa: Aero! Get out!Aero: Don’t worry about me, I’ve done this a million times!Tahu: Really? This exact scenario!Aero: Okay, maybe only twice.Toa MoC: Let me go!Aero: Change your group back to the KCOB!Toa MoC: Okay, fine!Aero: And don’t try to kill anyone!Toa MoC: Gosh, someone does not want to make this easy.Aero: SAY FINE OR WE’LL END UP IN THE LAKE!Toa MoC: Okay, fine!Aero: Good.MoC: ...Aero: ...MoC: Just stop pushing us already!Lewa: Yeah, one problem.MoC: What?Lewa: We only know how to go, not stop.Aero: WHAT?!Tahu: We haven’t had to yet!The bulldozer Aero was in reached the edge of the hill and began to wobble...Lewa: WHEW! WE STOPPED IT!MoC: It’s too late, morons! If we move, it falls!Aero: Goodbye Lewa and Tahu! In the short time I’ve known you, we’ve become friends! Return to Treerule for me! Tell my people to remember me!Tahu: How touching...awww....Aero: Oh, yeah, and $@#% you for killing me. Bye!And with that, the bulldozer tipped over and rolled down the hill, plopping into the lake and sinking.Lewa: *sniff* At least Vez-Mart is safe...Tahu: ...but Aero’s not!Lewa and Tahu: *begin crying*As the two friends cried, a spaceship landed in the parking lot behind them and Vezon stepped out.Vezon: What happened here? Did George get loose?Lewa: I won’t ask what George is-Vezon: Who.Lewa: Sorry, who. But some committee of Bionicles tried to wreck Vez-Mart. These green Toa here helped us defend.Tahu: And I got a cool set of leaf-colored armor.Vezon: It makes you look fat, put the red back on.Tahu: I should’ve just let Vez-Mart be destroyed.Vezon: Sorry, thanks.Lewa: But we lost a friend in the battle...Vezon: I know what’ll cheer you up...HALF-PRICED DISMEMBER THE MOLE AT VEZON’S ARCADE!!!The three of them walked off towards the arcade, leaving the Toa to head back home and the parking lot abandoned, with no signs of life....or was it?A few minutes later...A police car pulled up and Officer Cufem stepped out.Cufem: Hmm...what do you think of this?Policeman: Looks like someone tried to wreck Vez-Mart!Cufem: But Vezon’s my buddy! Who would do such a thing?Policeman: I don’t know, but we’re officially off the clock, so let’s leave and let the higher-ups figure this one out, eh?Cufem: I guess...doesn’t look like anyone’s here...Green Mask: *halfway surfaces in lake* That’s a mistake...and oh how this world will pay for it...I will have my revenge!!! MUAHAHAHA!!!THE END!Next time: The battle in Molta (and the Saron story arc) wraps up, and someone seeks vengeance on Lewa and Tahu!
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"The moral of the story is, I chose a half measure when I should have gone all the way. I'll never make that mistake again. No more half measures Walter."


#122 Offline MT Zehvor

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Posted Jun 29 2012 - 10:10 AM

Junus: This is really bad...I’m supposed to be their leader, yet I can’t even go down there and fight for them.Nuhrii: That’s okay, you’re only a Matoran. I’ll protect you for now. Besides, all of my friends except the other Cerun are cowering on top of another building.

Just get the dude a sniper rifle or something.

Aero: SAY FINE OR WE’LL END UP IN THE LAKE!

I WANNA GO SWIMMING

Vezon: I know what’ll cheer you up...HALF-PRICED DISMEMBER THE MOLE AT VEZON’S ARCADE!!!

Sounds...bizarre...bizarrely fun.Good chappy, PB. -MT

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#123 Offline King of the Madness Isles

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Posted Jul 14 2012 - 11:18 AM

I apologize for not posting new chapters-my computer broke shortly after posting Chapter Sixty-Seven, and it was fixed yesterday, so expect a new chapter Tuesday, or maybe later today.
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"The moral of the story is, I chose a half measure when I should have gone all the way. I'll never make that mistake again. No more half measures Walter."


#124 Offline King of the Madness Isles

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Posted Aug 18 2012 - 09:04 PM

I'm back, with a chapter written on my new laptop. Now that I have it, hopefully I'll be able to keep the chapters coming out on schedule, every Tuesday and Saturday, as they should have been coming out for a long time. This chapter does a small time skip-after Chapter Sixty-Seven (where Khounad was defeated/killed). The government has been established on Saron, and everyone has returned home. Here we go.Chapter Sixty-Eight: Revenge and RevengeanceAt Kaza's house...Kaza (opens the door): Good to be back!Vezon: I'm just glad to be off that dumb planet. At least I can check "help establish a government" off my bucket list.Nuhrii: Help establish it? You went streaking during Junus's induction ceremony.Zaktan: Well, he established his stupidity to an entire planet.Vezon: Close enough.Kaza: Uh...guys...I don't know if you've noticed, but downstairs is in ruin.THWACK!Kaza: Ow! (yanks a crossbow bolt out of his shoulder and gets electrocuted)Kaza fell back against the wall, which knocked him to the ground. The other Cerun drew their weapons and ran in. Iruini flipped on the light switch just in time to see Narra get hit by a similar bolt, and then Brekit. Nuhrii blocked one with his staff, but was still shocked.There was a Toa wielding the electric crossbow, with a quiver full of bolts on his back. His armor was a dark blue, and he had a dagger stored in a small spot in his armor intended for that purpose, located at his hip. His mask was the same color of his armor, and had a natural shape; the only part sticking out was along the bottom, just a little bit, sort of like the bottom of Hydraxon's mask. Kaza (gets up and draws the Phoenix Blade): Who the heck are you and why are you in my house?Toa: Relax, relax, Kazarac.Kaza: How do you know my name?Toa: I'm Rainuk, Toa Cerun of Electricity.Kaza: Rainuk...I know that name...Brekit: But isn't Kaza the Electricity guy around here?Rainuk: Technically, that's his second element. He's mainly a Toa of Ice.Nuhrii: I guess you are a Toa Cerun, if you know that.Kaza: So where have you been for a few thousand years?Rainuk: All over the galaxy, really. And now you're back. I've come to join up with you again. Oh, and sorry about the crossbow bolts.Narra: Can you tell us something about when you were on the team? We don't really remember any of it.Rainuk: That's what I'd heard. I was afraid it was true. Oh well, at least I found you guys.Iruini: So...how long have you been here?Rainuk: I've been checking by every day for you. I ran into Lewa and Tahu.Kaza: Lewa? Tahu? Neither of you ever told me there was a former teammate of mine here?Lewa: Meh.Tahu: Eh.Kaza: *sigh*Pridak: Are you sure we can trust this guy? His story seems a bit fishy...Rainuk: What do you mean?Pridak: Why not find Kaza two years ago, huh? Why now of all times? Because you didn't know about him until now, perhaps? Hmm?Rainuk: Two years ago I was busy on one of Saron's neighboring planets fighting against a deranged former Great Being.Carapar: You could've at least called!Rainuk: ...is he really that stupid?Takadox: He's right. Do you have some cheap plan or something? Bad coverage?Rainuk: Look, great to get to know you guys. Kaza, Brekit, Nuhrii, and Narra?Nuhrii: He knows our names, good sign!Kaza: Yes, Rainuk?Rainuk: If you'll kindly take a walk with me, I'll get to the backstory stuff.Norik: But then I'll miss it!Twenty minutes later...Iruini (playing a game): So she was a girl all along? The whole time, under her suit? Psshh, that's such a lie. Norik: You didn't know that? Dude, how did you-*ding-dong!*Norik: The doorbell! I'll get it!Norik got up and answered the door.Aero stood there-well, what used to be Aero. The former Toa of Air's arms were now easily five times as thick, as well as his legs, torso, and chest. His exaggerated build was covered in dark green armor, and his giant fists were clenching and unclenching angrily. His large head rested on a short, thick neck. His eyes glowed red through his wide mask, and a strange breathing apparatus took up the bottom half of his face.Aero (muffled voice): I'm looking for Lewa and Tahu.Norik: ...and are you going to be nice to them?WHAM!Aero punched Norik, sending him across the room. He smashed into the legs of a table, which broke. The table fell on top of him, and he had already been knocked out. Iruini jumped up from the couch and held up his spear. Zaktan, Vezok, Makuta, and Hydraxon rushed out of the kitchen.Makuta: What happened to Norik?Hydraxon: And who's Mike Tyson over there?Aero: I...am...Aero! I was dead, but I have been reborn! Stronger! Greater!Makuta: More overweight and prone to heart failure!SLAM!Aero kicked Makuta roughly to the ground and stood menacingly in front of Hydraxon. Hydraxon, being fairly tall, was about six and a half feet in full size. Aero trumped him at eight feet zero inches.Vezok: Run! Stand down!Zaktan: Let's get out here!Hydraxon held up a boomerang.Hydraxon: I'm not going anywhere.Aero grabbed Hydraxon's boomerang and slammed it into his head, knocking him out. He threw it with full force into Zaktan's stomach, knocking the air out of him as well as knocking him across the room. He pushed Vezok to the ground. Iruini stood back as he ran upstairs in search of his targets.Iruini: We have to do something...Upstairs...Lewa (dealing cards to Ehlek, Tahu, and Mantax): There. Everyone has seven cards now.Ehlek: Just keep an eye on Mantax. He's a cheater.Mantax: You're the one who shreds people's cards with your claws when they're not looking!Tahu: Guys, calm down. And look that way. (pulls an ace out from under the table)Lewa: What am I supposed to be looking-(sees Aero reach the top of the stairs and look towards the room they're in) oh. Thanks for telling me.Aero: You two! I've found you! I will have my revenge!Mantax: You know this guy? He has a weird voice.Aero: I'll kill you two!Mantax: ...but I like different! (gets hit by a chair) OW!Tahu: Wait a sec...Aero? What turned you into...that?Aero began to walk down the hall towards them menacingly, smashing pictures along the wall.Aero: I did. It was the only way I could save myself after being crushed by that bulldozer and pinned to the bottom of the lake! I used to remains of that MoC to make myself stronger! This breathing device is necessary for my survival after the damage I took in that incident! The incident you caused! (smashes a picture)Tahu: At least we cried afterwards!Ehlek: You cried?Tahu: No.Aero: RAHHH! (begins throwing pictures at Tahu)Lewa: What are we supposed to do?Mantax: Don't worry, me and Ehlek will hold them off. We are Barraki, after all. (grabs a broken leg from the chair Aero threw)Ehlek (readies his claws): You owe me one guys! (dives towards Aero)The hulking villain snatched Ehlek out of the air and punched him in the face, knocking him out. He tossed the unconscious Barraki over his shoulder and continued to advance. Mantax ran at him and ducked under his fist, then whacked his knee with the chair leg, which broke.Mantax: ...#$%&.WHAM!Lewa: RUN!Tahu: There's no way out of this room but the window!Lewa: Then we'll jump to that tree!Tahu grabbed another of the chair's legs and threw it at the window, breaking it.Lewa: ...you could've just opened it.Tahu: We only have a few seconds! (runs for the window)WHUMP!Tahu fell to the ground, broken glass from a picture on his head. Aero stood over him triumphantly.Lewa: Get away from him! (throws another chair leg at Aero)Aero (catches the chair leg): Fool! I will have my revenge-ZAP!Aero (being electrocuted): GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! (falls forward, landing on top of Tahu)Rainuk was standing at the end of the hall with Iruini, Norik, and Pridak. He put down his crossbow and walked over to Lewa.Pridak: Nice shot! Right in the back of the neck!Rainuk: Thanks. He should be out for an hour or two if it was really that dead on.Lewa: Thank YOU!Tahu (groans): Get him off! (kicks Aero's body)Aero (wakes up and jumps to his feet): GRR! (shoves everyone to the ground) I'll be back! (smashes a hole in the wall next to the broken window and jumps out)Iruini: What's the matter? Too fat?Aero (uproots a tree and chucks it into the room): I'll kill you too next time!Kaza (runs up): What happened?Norik: It was awesome! Rainuk saved Lewa and Tahu from that giant thing!Rainuk: ...but he said he'd be back.Kaza: ...and there's another hole in the wall. Oh. Great.THE END!Next time: Aero's chilling plan to get his REVENGEANCE!
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"The moral of the story is, I chose a half measure when I should have gone all the way. I'll never make that mistake again. No more half measures Walter."


#125 Offline TNTOS

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Posted Aug 19 2012 - 08:54 AM

A new chapter. I almost thought you had given up, but I guess I was wrong, so yay and stuff.I must say that this is probably one of the best chapters you've written in a while. Most of the jokes were funny and the action was pretty good. It has actually renewed my interest in this comedy, so good job there.I did, however, notice a few problems:

Kaza fell back against the wall, which knocked him to the ground.

The way this sentence is written makes it sound like the wall knocked Kaza to the ground. I doubt that was your intention, but to be frank I'm not sure what you may have been intending to say here, considering how it was written. A little clarification would be nice.

Rainuk: All over the galaxy, really. And now you're back. I've come to join up with you again. Oh, and sorry about the crossbow bolts.

So, why did Rainuk attack Kaza and the others if they were his friends? It wasn't dark (at least, you didn't say it was) and it does not say they accidentally surprised him. Just makes him seem paranoid for no reason. It's not even that funny, really.Besides that, though, there weren't any problems that I noticed. Aero's return was funny and it seems like you're setting up a mini arc with him or at least a two-parter. I'm definitely going to keep reading.-TNTOS-

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#126 Offline MT Zehvor

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Posted Aug 21 2012 - 03:28 PM

Oyay. PB's back.Good chappy n' such. Return of Aero was cool.-MT
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#127 Offline King of the Madness Isles

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Posted Aug 29 2012 - 03:53 PM

Hey, guys, sorry about missing yesterday (MH's 2 year anniversary woohoo!) but I won't be on until September 29th, a month from now, at the earliest. Can't provide details, but, well, bye. When I'm back, I'll post some more Mad House. Have a good time on BZP till then, and feel free to let everyone from A2 know MT. See you later guys.
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"The moral of the story is, I chose a half measure when I should have gone all the way. I'll never make that mistake again. No more half measures Walter."


#128 Offline JL Zehvor

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Posted Sep 18 2012 - 07:42 AM

No more Xbox? I don't see you around.....maybe because of Timezone, but I usually don't sleep, so wut?
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#129 Offline King of the Madness Isles

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Posted Oct 06 2012 - 07:29 PM

New chapter, to continue the story arc. Sorry it's late in the day, but at least it is still Saturday. Next chapter on Tuesday, and thanks for the warm reception to my return. This story arc is definitely my favorite story I've written, and I admit the last story arc sucked slightly, at least near the end.Chapter Sixty-Nine: Train Kept 'A Rollin (All Night Long)In Iruini's makeshift lab...Iruini: Mhmm. Seems possible. Seems...oh my...Norik (jumps up from a chair in the corner): What?!Iruini: Have you even been paying attention to the science going on in here for the past hour?Norik: Uh...yeah. Why do you ask?Iruini: Because! That sample of the lake water revealed something phenomenal!Kaza poked his head through the door.Kaza: What?Iruini: You know that lake that Aero fell in with the bulldozer?Kaza: Yes.Iruini: I know why he got mutated.Kaza: Why?Iruini: After some tests of the lake water, I discovered that it contained Kratos.Kaza: It contained the protagonist of God of War?Iruini: No.Kaza: It contained the father of the Greek gods?Iruini: No. It contained the strength-enhancing chemical Kratos. It was designed as a serum to create a superhuman back during the Cold War. After a tragic fire that destroyed most of it, the government ordered production of it to stop and the rest to be discarded with. The scientists who created it in Oak Ridge had to dump it somewhere, so they began disposing small amounts in bodies of water around the nearby counties. No one noticed when the Turkey Creek area was built, so now there's a Vez-Mart near it. I guess they never tested the water.Norik: So...tell me more about this "Kratos"...Iruini: It was extremely dangerous, and only very small amounts were tested on animals. Eventually it was tested on humans, but the subject died due to overdose. It's a highly addictive substance, which leaves the user craving the strength again once it has gone away. The body reaches a point where it needs Kratos, or it will shut down, leaving the user in pretty much a coma. The reason Aero needs that thing we mistook for a breathing apparatus is to pump Kratos into his body. He may even need to keep a tank of it on his back.Kaza: How can he get so much?Iruini: Tanks and barrels of it were most likely at the bottom of that body of water, and the other bodies of water.Kaza: So to defeat him, we need to target that Kratos-pumping device.Iruini: Exactly. Next time he causes havoc around town, target the device.Later...Kaza leapt up from the couch and turned off the TV.Kaza: Guys! It's time! Aero's attacking a train!Kaza changed into his Toa form and grabbed the Phoenix Blade from the rack he'd had put on the wall. Brekit, Nuhrii, Narra, and Rainuk ran downstairs. Brekit, Toa of Air, had his club ready; Nuhrii, Toa of Sugar, his staff; Narra, Toa of Fire, his sword; and Rainuk, Toa of Electricity, his crossbow.Kaza (running out the door): No more holes in the wall!CRASH!Kaza: ...Along the train tracks...The train roared along as the car burst out of the trees ahead.Brekit: You're awful at driving!Kaza: Like you could do any better! We never use this car, and it just sits in the garage. Well now we have the chance!Kaza pulled up alongside the train and floored it, but the train was slowing pulling ahead. Aero was atop it, trying to smash into one of the train cars. Nuhrii opened the passenger door and climbed onto the top of the car.Nuhrii: Here it goes!He jumped, and grabbed on to the side of the train. Then he pulled himself up atop it. Brekit and Rainuk climbed on top of the car, and they leaped successfully as well. Narra climbed to the top and fired his grappling hook, pulling himself to the top of the train. Kaza climbed on top of the car and it came to a stop. He slashed the Phoenix Blade through the air, propelling him forwards onto the train.Nuhrii ran at Aero and fired glaze from his staff. It formed around Aero's right arm, but he broke through it and charged. He was even more muscular than when they had last met, and as Iruini had predicted, had a tank of Kratos attached to his back armor. Brekit slammed his club into Aero's legs, knocking them out from under him. He fell forwards and rolled, coming to his feet to receive a bash on the head from the club.Aero grabbed Brekit and raised him up. Then he swung him into Nuhrii, knocking the Toa of Sugar back. He fell off the train and grabbed onto it lower down, dangling there. Brekit fell to the ground and took a kick to the chest from Aero. Then the hulking villain threw Brekit towards the front of the train. He fell between two cars and then kicked one open.Kaza fired some ice at Aero, but it didn't faze him. Rainuk loosed a crossbow bolt, and the shock caused their enemy to stumble, but he yanked the bolt out and tossed it away.Narra: I have a plan!The Toa Cerun fired his grappling hook from the wrist-mounted grapple. The hook flew over Aero's shoulder, and when Narra yanked his wrist back, which stopped the rope being allowed out of the grapple, the rope wrapped around Aero's shoulder, the hook digging into his armor and holding it in place. Narra jerked the grappling line as hard as he could, bringing Aero to the ground.Narra: Shoot him Rainuk!Rainuk fired three bolts into Aero, electrifying him, and Kaza sprayed ice all over him, freezing him to the ground. Just after they had trapped him, Brekit climbed out of a hatch onto the roof, black from head to toe from the coal he'd climbed through.Brekit: I'm back! Aww, I missed the fun!Nuhrii finally pulled himself back onto the train.Kaza: We have him.Aero: No-Crack!Aero: -you-CRACK!Aero: DON'T!!!CRAAACK!The ice shattered and Aero got to his feet. All five Toa Cerun ran at him, but he kicked them back and ran down the train. He reached the front and leapt off, towards a lake they were passing.Rainuk: He got away!At Kaza's house, later...Kaza: What we need is more strength to counter his.Iruini: And I have just the solution. Kratos. But it may be dangerous.Rainuk: I volunteer. I understand the risks.Iruini: Well then, we should get started...THE END!Next time: Rainuk undergoes a transformation!
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"The moral of the story is, I chose a half measure when I should have gone all the way. I'll never make that mistake again. No more half measures Walter."


#130 Offline Phovos

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Posted Oct 08 2012 - 03:10 AM

I was about to say, I'm not sure what the God of War was doing in that lake.
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#131 Offline MT Zehvor

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Posted Oct 08 2012 - 07:38 PM

I was about to say, I'm not sure what the God of War was doing in that lake.

I thought he just wanted a swim or something.

Nuhrii ran at Aero and fired glaze from his staff.

Glaze? Like, donut glaze?WHERE IS THIS STAFF OF KRISPY KREME AND HOW CAN I ACQUIRE IT.

Kaza: We have him.Aero: No-Crack!Aero: -you-CRACK!Aero: DON'T!!!CRAAACK!

Sounds like Aero's hitting home runs or something. :PAnyways, good chappy. Glad that the comedy's back.-MT

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#132 Offline King of the Madness Isles

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Posted Oct 10 2012 - 08:52 PM

Sorry this chapter is a day late (I'll try not to let any chapters be more than one day late, hopefully I can get them out the day they're supposed to be out though). Thanks for commenting Phovos. I remember loving Phovos's Stolen Diaries as a guest, I would love a continuation of that. Anyways, I'm assuming you liked the chapter?Oh and MT, Nuhrii is a Toa of Sugar, and his staff has always shot glaze.Time for more progression of this story arc!Enjoy!Chapter Seventy: Hulk Up!Iruini: Now, after searching the lake I suspected the most Kratos was dumped in, I uncovered these three barrels of it. We can give Rainuk a small amount before each encounter with Aero, however many it may take to defeat him. Then we can destroy the rest of this.Rainuk: Let's just get this over with.Iruini: Okay. Here we go...Iruini took the syringe he had filled with Kratos and injected it into Rainuk's arm. He held it down, pushing all of the chemical into the Toa of Electricity's body. Rainuk threw himself back onto the table he was on, screaming loudly. His fingers were gripping the sides of the table and he was convulsing. The other Toa Cerun stepped out of the room, but Iruini had to stay.Iruini: And here comes the hard part...Rainuk's eyes snapped open wide and he screamed louder than he'd ever screamed. His arms shook even more violently then the rest of his body and his armor began to be pushed outwards. His arms were growing more and more muscular, and they would grow to five times their normal size. His legs followed suit, and his chest as well. All of his armor was pushed outwards as he transformed into a hulking version of himself.Finally Rainuk's body stopped and lay still. He began to breathe heavily, laying there.Iruini: How are you feeling?Rainuk let go of the table and got to his feet, now the size of Aero.Rainuk: ...amazing...He walked outside Iruini's lab into the living room. The other Toa stood there staring at him.Rainuk: What are you waiting for? Let's go.Kaza: Vezok, put on the news.Vezok: No, I'm playing Skyrim!Kaza: Vezok...Vezok: Fine.Reporter: And, in other news, the same strange creature who attacked the train is now attacking the bridge by...Narra: Looks like we're going to the bridge.Nuhrii: And can you not drive today, Kaza?Kaza: Hey, last time was awesome. I felt like an action star driving next to that train!Brekit: Did you feel a little less like an action star when we had to walk back to get the car?Kaza: ...yes.Later...Nuhrii: There he is. Other side of the bridge, destroying that pillar.Nuhrii patted Rainuk on the back.Nuhrii: Here you go.Rainuk tilted his head back and yelled, then charged forwards along the bridge. Aero, from the other side, tore out a chunk of the pillar as tall as him and ran at Rainuk with it. Aero chucked the pillar at Rainuk, who snatched it out of the air and threw it back. Aero ducked, and it sailed over his head, crashing into the ground behind him.Aero leapt into the air, right fist stretched back. Rainuk did the same, and they met in the middle. The massive green-armored fist of Aero smashed into Rainuk's blue-armored face, and his head jerked back. Rainuk's fist struck Aero's jaw with an uppercut, knocking him down. The villain swept his legs under Rainuk's, knocking him down. When Rainuk fell, Aero grabbed him, lifting him up in the air. He was ready to throw his enemy, but received a hard kick to the face, causing him to release Rainuk.The titan of a Toa Cerun punched his opponent back, but Aero rolled, came to his feet, and put his arms out to block another blow. The two were locked in combat, and though some slip-ups were made, neither one seemed to be winning.Kaza, Brekit, Nuhrii, and Narra had been standing still, watching from one side of the bridge, but now Kaza ran forwards, followed by his comrades. Aero saw them coming and threw Rainuk at them. Brekit dove and rolled out the way, and Narra dropped to the ground, but Kaza and Nuhrii were struck by their large teammate. The three of them tumbled back along the bridge while Brekit and Narra continued onwards.The hulking villain was through with the fight. As Brekit leapt towards him, he snatched him from the air, kicking Narra back. He tossed Brekit casually over the side of the bridge, and as the Toa fell a stream of expletives rose back up to the bridge.SPLASH!Kaza had gotten to his feet and now was firing ice at Aero, coating small parts of his armor with frost. One of Kaza's blasts struck him in the face, temporarily freezing his eyes shut. Nuhrii pole-vaulted with his staff, planting his feet in Aero's face. Aero stumbled while Nuhrii whacked him in the head with the staff, then in the stomach, and continued to beat him down.Narra: I have a plan!Kaza: What is it?Narra: It's just like Con Air!Nuhrii took another whack at Aero with his staff, this time to the chin, knocking his head back.Nuhrii: I think I'm doing just fine without any Nicholas Cage help!Ironically, just after Nuhrii said this, Aero grabbed the staff and flung it off the bridge, its owner still holding on.Kaza: Why didn't you let go?!?!Nuhrii: This is a unique weapon!Kaza: Rainuk, start helping again!Rainuk was a few feet back, gripping his head, doubled over.Rainuk: AGH!Kaza: Something wrong?Narra: What do you think? Why would he be screaming in pain?Kaza: Because I made a Con Air reference.Narra: ...makes sense.Kaza: Oh, have you heard Nicholas Cage might be in The Expendables 3?Narra: Great. And I liked those movies.Kaza: I've also heard rumors about Steven Seagal, but I really want Kurt Russell, because he-OOF!Aero punched Kaza hard in the stomach, winding him and knocking him over. Narra slashed Aero across the chest with his fire sword, leaving a charred mark on his armor.Kaza got to his feet to use his fire sword, which was much more powerful. He took the Phoenix Blade off his back and dove back into the action.Aero began quickly stepping backwards to dodge swipes from the ancient weapon. Kaza was becoming desperate, and he took a long step forwards on his next slash, giving Aero the perfect opportunity. He grabbed him and slammed him into Narra, then released him. Both of them went over the side of the bridge, the Phoenix Blade being left behind.Kaza: #%^$! If Nuhrii thought his weapon was valuable-SPLASH!Aero walked towards Rainuk, who was still gripping his head, though less firmly, and the screaming had stopped. The villain made a grab at Rainuk's neck with the intent of strangling him, but Rainuk had heard him creeping up, and so he duck under his enemy's grab. A blue-armored elbow smacked into Aero's gut, and a blue-armored fist from the other arm delivered a hard blow to his jaw. Now Rainuk turned around and slugged Aero in the face, then again, and again, and again, and again, until Aero could bear no more and collapsed on the ground, moaning. Rainuk had won.The Great Beings, as Kaza had arranged, came shortly after to find four Toa Cerun washed up next to the lake below the bridge, Aero unconscious on the bridge, and Rainuk lying on the ground, back to his normal self.THE END!Next time: This story arc's just getting started!
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"The moral of the story is, I chose a half measure when I should have gone all the way. I'll never make that mistake again. No more half measures Walter."


#133 Offline Phovos

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Posted Oct 11 2012 - 09:26 AM

Lots of being 'knocked down' there. I saw that phrase crop up a lot... But cool story anyway. Won't Rainuk be addicted to Kratos now or something, like it was suggested in the previous chapter? And let's hope that a. Kaza retrieves his sword and b. that Nurhii doesn't dissolve in that river.As for Phovos's Stolen Diaries... Well... You'll see about that...
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#134 Offline MT Zehvor

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Posted Oct 11 2012 - 12:30 PM

Aero began quickly stepping backwards to dodge swipes from the ancient weapon. Kaza was becoming desperate, and he took a long step forwards on his next slash, giving Aero the perfect opportunity. He grabbed him and slammed him into Narra, then released him. Both of them went over the side of the bridge, the Phoenix Blade being left behind.

THE PHOENIX BLADE?!? LOST?!?Posted Image(I'm fully of terribly punny gifs today)At any rate, good chappy. Nicholas Cage references are always funny, and the battle scene was well done too. KUTGW.-MT

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#135 Offline King of the Madness Isles

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Posted Oct 19 2012 - 06:20 PM

I apologize for the lack of new chapters, but my laptop needs to be sent in for repair, which is what I write this comedy on (I use to use this desktop, which is slow). I'll try to get a new chapter up soon, and my laptop should be back...maybe Wednesday? Tuesday?
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"The moral of the story is, I chose a half measure when I should have gone all the way. I'll never make that mistake again. No more half measures Walter."


#136 Offline Phovos

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Posted Oct 21 2012 - 07:02 AM

*waits for the new chapter*I'm wondering about that Phoenix Blade now...
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#137 Offline King of the Madness Isles

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Posted Nov 02 2012 - 10:19 PM

EXTREMELY SORRY ABOUT THE LATE HALLOWEEN SPECIAL, WILL TRY TO GET IT UP TOMORROW, BUT MY ROUTER HAS BEEN WORKING AWFULLY, ON AND OFF SORT OF WORKING. I'M LUCKY IF I CAN GET THIS POST UP.
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"The moral of the story is, I chose a half measure when I should have gone all the way. I'll never make that mistake again. No more half measures Walter."


#138 Offline MT Zehvor

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Posted Nov 03 2012 - 09:06 PM

BUT BUT BUT BUTI NEED MAD HOUSE-MT
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#139 Offline King of the Madness Isles

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Posted Nov 10 2012 - 12:35 PM

Now that my Internet is finally...stabilized? I bring you the tragically belated second annual Halloween special. This year's special contains parodies of Jurassic Park, The Shining, and The Thing. As always, enjoy!Chapter Seventy-One: Madhouse of Horror IIThe Second Annual It's a Mad House Halloween SpecialMadhouse of Horror IIHalloween had finally come again, and it was going to be a big night at Kaza's house, as it always was. As you may know, the house is full of a large number of Halloween enthusiasts. Not only Kaza himself, but Iruini, Norik, and Hydraxon, who were also large fans of the holiday. And once again, on Halloween night, they set up their tarp around the porch, which was just their tradition, and waited for the trick-or-treaters. The three of them set up around 6:30, and waited a while for the trick-or-treaters to start coming. As there always was, there was a period of time in which they experienced a lull in the trick-or-treating, this time being 10:00 to 10:30. Most of you would think that this was because the trick-or-treating had ended, but if you were a true Halloween expert and enthusiast, you would know that trick-or-treating starts up again, at least in the Halloween-prone neighborhoods, at 10:30 to 10:45. The three of them, of course, knew this, and so there they were, waiting."Well, it's ten 'o clock" Norik sighed. "Time to wait thirty minutes."Hydraxon reached for the small TV they had set up, but Norik slapped his hand down."Ow! What was that for?" Hydraxon asked sharply, rubbing his hand."Remember last year?" Norik asked him. Iruini sat there, simply watching the conversation."Yes, I remember last year" Hydraxon said. "We all told scary stories and mine was far scarier than either of your inferior stories.""Now hold on a second" Iruini argued. "'The Midnight Mailman' was a frightening, suspenseful tale. I think it was pretty good.""It wasn't as good as 'Gone With the Dead'" Norik debated. "I'll bet you're still having nightmares about it.""As if" Hydraxon scoffed. '"How's My Driving?' was terrifying, and you guys know it. You admitted that I was the scariest storyteller.""Yeah, as of one year ago you were the scariest storyteller. But I've counted down all three hundred sixty-five days, waiting for the chance to become the scariest" Norik revealed. "It's once again the best night of the year, and I'm not taking this lightly. I WILL be the scariest. I challenge you to a rematch!"The porch was silent then. After about ten seconds Iruini spoke up. "I have prepared as well. I have a scary story ready, so I accept your challenge! I will be victorious!""I must admit" Hydraxon spoke slowly. "I thought I was the only one to have prepared. I have brought a tale of terror also, and I will successfully defend my title a second time, just like Apollo Creed in Rocky II!""Have you seen Rocky II?" Iruini asked. "Apollo loses.""He does?!" Hydraxon asked. "Huh. I wonder what movie I watched.""Probably Vezon's" Iruini mused. "He didn't like Apollo losing, so he made his own version of Rocky II. I'm surprised you couldn't tell it was made by him.""Why?" Hydraxon questioned."Because!" Norik exclaimed. "He made it with Microsoft Office PowerPoint 2003!""Huh. Well, how about we get to the stories?" Hydraxon suggested."Sure" Iruini and Norik said in unison."I'll go first" Norik decided. "Prepare to feint from the sheer intensity of my story!"A DINO-SIZED PROBLEMOn a helicopter above Isla Golde..."Thank you so much for coming to the opening of my new park!" Norik said, once again thanking his excited guests. Riding with him in the plane were the famous archaeologists Zaktan and Hahli, along with the brilliant (albeit arguably so) Vezon, a chaotician who had a habit of mouthing off."So, this is one of those Disney things, right?" Vezon asked Norik."No, this is a beautiful island full of dinosaurs made from the DNA of a mosquito" Norik corrected him. "Sorry about lying, but I had to convince you to come somehow.""Oh. That's fine" Vezon said casually. "I like dinosaurs.""Now, how did you get the DNA?" Hahli inquired.In an alley, a few months ago..."Now you're sure this amber really does have a prehistoric mosquito in it?" the man asked, looking back and forth before slipping the money to the shady figure."Yeah" the mysterious man said before handing him a paper back and walking off. "Don't worry about it.""Yes!" the first man shouted triumphantly. "I just saved myself months in a boring old mine!"Present day..."Oh, my most trusted worker found some amber containing a prehistoric mosquito in a mine" Norik told her. "We used the blood the mosquito had drunken, which belonged to dinosaurs, to obtain their DNA.""What did you use to fill in the rest?" Zaktan asked."Frogs" Norik answered. "They're all female, too, so there's no reproduction."Vezon snickered. "Bow chicka bow wow..." he mumbled.Norik rolled his eyes and continued. "That way the dinosaurs are kept perfectly under control."On the island..."No! We never escape!" the doctor shouted, standing on the roof of the science building as velociraptors tried to leap up. "I never get home again!"His colleague grabbed a plank of wood and began beating them back. "I've had about enough of these gosh dang dinosaurs on this gosh dang island!"A velociraptor bit his hand and yanked him down to his dinosaur friends, where they proceeded to tear the man apart."AHHHHH!"On the helicopter..."I see. Sounds like a useful method" Zaktan said."Oh, we're landing!" Hahli observed. "I'm so excited!"The helicopter descended to the landing pad, where the group piled out. From where they were, they could see a Brachiosaurus grazing. It was a sight to behold.Norik breathed in deeply and spread his arms, indicating the island. "Welcome..." he said slowly, "to Jurassic Park!"Then a lawyer ran up."You're getting sued for copyright infring-AAAAAAHHHHHGGGGG!"A T-Rex had crept up from behind, picked him up in his mouth, and tore him to pieces."AHHHH!" screamed Hahli, Zaktan, and Vezon."No, no, it's okay" Norik assured them. "He only does that to lawyers.""Whew" breathed Vezon, wiping the sweat from his forehead. "Good."Later...Norik's two grandchildren, the other lawyer (who was representing the investors for Norik's now-nameless park), Zaktan, Hahli, and Vezon were about to take the tour. The lawyer and the grandkids were in one cart, while Zaktan, Hahli, and Vezon were in another cart. The carts were electric, and attached to rails so they would be guided on their tour, seeing all the different dinosaurs.The carts started as the rain began to pour."Bad weather" Hahli muttered. "That means bad luck.""Don't be silly!" Vezon comforted her. "If anything's bad luck, it's the thirteen black cats I trained to walk under ladders that I stuffed in the trunk!""We're dead.""Now, now" Zaktan said. "This is going to go fine."In the other cart, an hour later..."This park is pretty nice" the lawyer said. "Your grandfather is a genius!""Yeah, it is amazing..." the girl sighed peacefully.THUD!The three of them slowly looked up. A blob of gluten had dropped onto the glass that made up part of the roof."Ewwwwwww..." the girl moaned."What's the matter, kid?" the lawyer asked, irritated. "Haven't you ever had gluten before?""No, some people are vegetarians" she said. "I wonder what eats gluten...""I think I have a pretty good idea..." the boy said slowly. He pointed through the window towards the T-Rex exhibit, where the fence was ripped apart.BUM! BUM! BUM! BUM!From far off they heard loud thuds, like heavy footsteps. The water inside the glass on the dashboard began to ripple.BUM! BUM! BUM! BUM!A bit of the water splashed out as the shaking got more intense.BUM! BUM! BUM! BUM!Now the glass fell over, spilling all over the lawyer's lap and breaking on his knee."My knee!" he shouted, and leapt up in pain. His head smacked against the roof and knocked him out. He fell over, into the puddle of water on the floor."He left us..." the boy said. "He promised he wouldn't leave!""No he didn't" the girl argued. "He said 'screw you stupid kids, if anything goes wrong I'm getting out of here'.""Well I wish he said he wouldn't leave.""Hey, what's..." the girl froze, looking at something through the window. It was a tyrannosaurus rex, and its head was practically touching the glass. Its breath was fogging it up."Don't worry, I know what do" the boy said. He held up a flashlight and shone it in the dinosaur's eyes. It stood up and stepped on the car, flattening it. Then the dinosaur bent down and ate the lawyer. After that it starting pressing its head on the glass, which was pressing against the kids.In the other cart..."Oh no!" Hahli shouted."Don't be afraid! I have an idea!" Vezon ran out of the cart and lit a stick of dynamite. Then he threw it at the dinosaur. It went into the dinosaur's mouth and blew up its head. The dead body of the dinosaur fell and bumped into the cart, which slid and fell over the side of the cart road, into the jungle full of dinosaurs."I'll save them!" Zaktan shouted, and jumped over the side as well."We better run" Hahli said."Alright" Vezon agreed. "I got this."Vezon climbed into the cart and pressed the emergency rail release button. The car unattached itself from the rail, and Vezon floored it, leaving the others behind in the jungle.Later, in the main building...The doors swung open; Zaktan and the grandchildren ran in screaming."What is it?" Norik asked. "How'd the tour go?""Horrible!" Zaktan shouted. "The dinosaurs all got loose! We got attacked by a T-Rex, and then had to run the whole way here! The velociraptors are after us!"Zaktan shut the doors, locked them, and lowered a metal bar over the handles."That should keep it shut" he said, and then laughed. "Unless velociraptors learn how to pick locks, break metal bars, and open doors!"Right after he said that, the cart Vezon and Hahli were in smashed down the doors and ran over Zaktan."OW!" he shouted, and then got to his feet. He looked out to see a pack of five velociraptors running towards them."Quick!" Norik said. "Grab the emergency weapons!" Norik tossed everyone a pistol."Granddaddy, how do I use this?" the boy asked.BOOM!Zaktan's foot started to bleed and he fell over. "OW!""Oops" the boy said quietly."I'll hold them off!" Norik shouted, and grabbed a kitchen knife. "GET TO THE CHOPPAH!"The others ran off, hurrying up the stairs to the roof. Before they could get in the helicopter, Norik appeared at the top of the stairs."I thought you were holding them off!" Vezon said."Screw that, I'm getting out of here!" Norik yelled. "This was an awful idea!"He ran to the helicopter and got in. The pilot, who had been sitting there for no reason since they'd landed, started it up. Everyone else jumped in and the helicopter took off. As it lifted off the roof, the velociraptors jumped and grabbed on to the doorway of the helicopter with their claws. Vezon stomped on their claws till they let go and fell to the ground."Well, you know what they say..." Vezon muttered as the helicopter flew away, leaving the island behind."What?" Norik asked."Dinosaurs make man, man makes dinosaurs, dinosaurs are man, man destroys dinosaurs" Vezon recited."Is that really something they say?" Hahli asked doubtfully."Maybe I messed it up a bit..." Vezon mused."So, what did you think?" Norik asked his friends."Really?" Iruini asked him. "Dinosaurs? They're not scary.""Yeah, that wasn't scary at all Norik" Hydraxon agreed.But just after they said that, the water in Hydraxon's glass began to shake and they heard heavy footsteps, the water rippling more with every footstep. Iruini, Hydraxon, and Norik dove behind their chairs, cowering with fear.Then Kaza walked through the tarp and up to the door, straining to hold a heavy arcade cabinet."What are you doing?!" Iruini asked angrily. "You terrified me!""Oh. Sorry" Kaza apologized. "I was just carrying this arcade cabinet from Vezon's Arcade. He wanted to remove this House of the Dead machine to bring in a Street Fighter one. Good news, we now have an arcade cabinet!"Kaza struggled to open the door while holding the cabinet as everyone ignored him. He glared at them and walked into the house."I think it scared you guys" Norik told them."No, that just startled us" Hydraxon debated. "It still wasn't scary.""I think it qualifies as scary-themed, at least" Norik argued."But not actually scary" Hydraxon said. "Well, good thing the least scary went first. We need to save the best for last. So Iruini, you should go next.""But mine's the scariest" Iruini protested. "Besides, I went second last year. You go second, I'll go last.""Fine" Hydraxon conceded. "If you want to ruin the continued rise in scariness, I will go second.""Good" Iruini said quickly. "Because mine's going to be better. I know it.""Yeah. Right" Hydraxon said sarcastically. "Here goes mine!"THE GLIMMERINGTUESDAYThe car was driving down the long, windy, mountainside road. Inside were seated Pridak, Makuta, Kaza, and Iruini."Thanks for coming with me to this mansion again" Makuta thanked his friends. "After all, this house-sitting job pays a lot of money, and I'll give each of you a small amount of it.""You're welcome" Kaza told him. "But this drive was really long and annoying. I'm glad we're finally almost there.""DANG IT!" Pridak shouted. "I think I left my lucky plate at home."Everyone else sighed.Ten hours later..."It still sucks that we had to go back just for that lucky plate"-Makuta glared at Pridak-"but it was worth it. We're finally almost there!""DANG IT!" Kaza yelled. "I left my favorite socks at home!"Everyone else sighed. Again.Ten hours later..."It wasn't fun to go back for those socks"-Makuta stared daggers at Kaza-"but it's okay. We're almost there!""Oh no!" Iruini said. "I left my asthma inhaler at home!"Makuta firmly looked ahead at the road."ack-gak-ack!" Iruini gasped.There was no response.At the mansion...The car pulled up to the mansion. The four friends got out, Iruini inexplicably being okay. The two doors in front opened, and two people stepped up. One appeared to be in his sixties, and the other was Brekit."Hello!" called the old man."Oh, hey Mr. Corp!" Makuta greeted him. "Thanks again for the job!""Mr. Corp?" Kaza whispered to Pridak and Iruini. "Didn't Norik buy some book from that guy?"Pridak and Iruini simply shrugged in response."So" Mr. Corp addressed them, then began speaking quickly, "there is no communication with the outside world, no phones, TVs, game consoles, handheld game devices, newspapers, radios, wireless Internet, wired Internet, no phone service, and the lights may or may not turn on.""And there's no warm water for showers" Brekit added."Are you sure about this?" Pridak asked Makuta."Yeah" Makuta said, not bothering to turn his head and look at Pridak."Well, see you in a month!" Mr. Corp called, then got into his car with Brekit."And here we go..." Iruini sighed.Just before the car drove off, Brekit rolled down his window and shouted, "The groundskeeper will give you a tour of the house! He's probably in the yard somewhere!"Then the car drove off, leaving the four of them to watch over the mansion. Once the car was out of sight, someone jumped out from a row of bushes and ran up to them."Hello!" he greeted them loudly. "I'm Narra, the groundskeeper here! Nice to meet you!""Oh. Hey" Makuta responded. "Mr. Corp said you'd give us a tour?""Yes! Come with me!"In the house..."And this is the indoor pool, where the most recent caretaker drowned his entire family.""I have a question, Mr. Narra" Iruini said childishly."Yes?""Which room was it where that one caretaker electrified all his friends?""Oh, why that was the ballroom!" Narra answered."I thought it was the bonus room" Iruini said curiously."No, silly boy, that was where that other caretaker impaled his brother with a billiard stick!""Oh. Okay.""I...uh...think we better head up to our rooms" Kaza said nervously.Later, at Pridak's room..."Thanks for letting us eat in your room" Iruini told Pridak. "It'd be really boring in this place if we couldn't talk to eachother.""Face it" Pridak said flatly. "It's still really boring here. We need to make our own fun!""Or hike to the nearest town" Kaza suggested."Nah, Makuta needs the company" Iruini said. "Speaking of Makuta, where is he?""Oh, he's just exploring the mansion some more" Kaza said casually.Pridak jumped up from the table and pulled out his revolver. "I don't like it...there's something strange about this place!""You smuggled your revolver in?" Iruini asked him. "How?""I don't go anywhere without my revolver" Pridak answered. "Period.""Well, sit down and put it away" Kaza told him. "If anything does go wrong, I have elemental powers of ice and lightning.""But you didn't bring the Phoenix Blade" Pridak said calmly. "Someone had to bring his signature weapon around here."Meanwhile...Makuta opened the elevator and stepped in. "I better get to Pridak's room and have dinner with everyone else." He hit the button for that floor and the elevator began to rise. But as it rose, he felt something strange and thought he saw something out of the corner of his eye. He whirled around, but saw nothing. Then something else darted by his peripheral vision. He turned once again, but again saw nothing. Then they appeared-three figures, that were there, though at the same time they weren't. They were transparent. They were ghosts, and they were there to haunt the newest caretaker of the mansion. And inside the elevator (which was soundproof, of course) Makuta's screams fell on deaf ears.In Pridak's room...Knock knock knock!"Sounds like Makuta's finally back" Iruini said. Pridak got up, walked to the door, and opened it. Groundskeeper Narra stepped in."Groundskeeper Narra!" Kaza said in surprise. "Nice to see you here!""There's no time for 'nice'!" the groundskeeper said hurriedly. "I'm here to warn you!""Warn us?" Iruini asked. "About what?"Pridak reached for his revolver slowly, wary of danger."Your friend Makuta!" the groundskeeper exclaimed. "He's gonna kill you all!""What?!" Kaza shouted, leaping up from his seat. Iruini followed suit, and Pridak tightened his grip on his revolver."This mansion..." Narra said slowly, "is haunted! The ghosts get to all the caretakers, drive them crazy! Drive them to the point where they want to kill all their friends! And then...they do! It's happened five times before!""Five times?!" Iruini shouted. "I'm never going to see the light of the day!" He dove behind the couch cowering."You've got some explaining to do!" Pridak said, aiming his gun at Narra.Ding!"There's no time!" Narra gasped in terror. "That's the elevator! He's here!"Everyone froze."Hurry!" Narra told them. "Everyone hide!"Narra opened the door to the empty pantry. He stepped inside and closed it. Iruini opened a cabinet above the stove and climbed in, then shut it. Kaza dove inside the washing machine, and Pridak hid inside the closet, revolver at the ready.Iruini, in the cabinet, began to hear something in his mind. At first he was terrified, thinking it was the ghosts of the mansion. But then the strange voice said it was Narra."You have a special gift!" the voice in his head said. "If we do get out of here, and he's after you, call me with your special gift! Call me with...your GLIMMERING!"Iruini, in his mind, told the voice that he would call him if he needed to. Then his thoughts were interrupted. He heard footsteps outside the door."Hellooooooooooooooooooo?" Makuta called whimsically to his friends, gripping the handle of an axe. He was truly insane. He smashed his head through the door, and his eyes darted back and forth. "Live from New York, it's Saturday Night!" he called evilly, and kicked the door down.He began to stalk through the room slowly, laughing darkly. He walked past the cabinet, and Iruini had to stop himself from breathing a sigh of relief. Next the crazed caretaker passed the pantry, where Narra was hiding. Then he poked his head in the laundry room, but didn't think to check in the washer. He walked past the closet, then over to the bookcase. Pridak, as he had planned, dove out of the closet and pointed his revolver at Makuta, who spun around in alarm.Click! Click!"Uh oh..." said Pridak. "Probably should've remembered the rounds." Makuta lunged at him, and slew him with a swing of the axe. The others eyes widened as they heard the slaughter. All three of them leapt out from hiding to make a break for it.[cue Scooby-Doo style chase montage with "What's New Scooby-Doo?" theme song]"Split up!" Narra yelled. "He can't get us all!" All three of them ran out the door into the hallway, then split up. Iruini ran towards the stairs, and Makuta followed him, swinging his axe at the air wildly. Iruini ran down flight after flight, Makuta always one flight behind him. They reached the first floor, and Iruini ran out. Narra was running towards him from the opposite direction."No! Turn around!" Iruini shouted."It's okay!" Narra's voice said in Iruini's head. "Pridak set up a trap out of paranoia before he was killed!""That was fast!" Iruini replied in his mind, as Makuta burst out of the stairwell.[Scooby-Doo song ends]The elevator doors opened and Kaza stepped out, in the middle of Iruini and Narra."Keep leading him this way!" Narra called in Iruini's mind. Iruini continued to run, until the voice told him to jump. He came to a complete halt, jumped straight up, and continued to run."NOT WHAT I MEANT!" Narra shouted out loud. Iruini had stopped and jumped, so he hadn't leapt over the tripwire. He triggered it, and a net shot up, catching him and the nearby Kaza in it.The net dangled from the ceiling with both of them in it. Makuta slowed down and advanced towards Narra, who was nervously backing up. The net was dangling there, sagging under the two friends' weight. "Um...how much can this hold?" Iruini asked nervously."No idea" Kaza replied. "But it was only supposed to snag one person..."As Makuta advanced on the doomed Narra, the rope the net was dangling by snapped, and it dropped on top of their insane friend, pinning him to the ground. Only his head stuck out from under the net."Yes!" Narra shouted. "We caught him!"As Narra triumphantly stood over Makuta, Makuta walked out from under the central staircase (not the flight of stairs Iruini had run down, which entered on the side), a gag in his mouth, a now-untied rope dangling about his legs, and another one about his hands."Makuta!" shouted Narra, Kaza, and Iruini in surprise.Narra leaned over and grabbed Makuta's head. Then he tugged on it, and to everyone's alarm the head came off. It was a mask!"Mr. Corp!" everyone shouted in unison. Then Pridak walked out from under the stairs, where he had also been tied up."What's going on here?" Kaza asked to no one in particular."I think I can explain" Pridak said. "You see, Mr. Corp called Makuta here, and told him he could bring three guests, because he wanted to make a movie without Makuta knowing.""A movie?" asked Kaza."Please" Pridak said in a dignified manner. "No interruptions. What happened is Mr. Corp was planning to make a movie about a caretaker who goes crazy and murders his friends because the ghosts of the haunted house get to him, like they have the other caretakers. But, since he had never directed before in his life, no one wanted to be in his movie. And so he decided that he would trick four people into thinking a killer was really after them, since real terror is much more believable than fake terror. So he set up cameras all around the mansion, and invited Makuta to be the caretaker. Narra was in on it the whole time, and his job was to get Makuta interested in the mansion, so that he would explore. Before dinner, he had kidnapped me after realizing I was suspicious-which I almost always am, and replaced me with an actor-Brekit-who would pretend to be killed by Mr. Corp, who dressed up as Makuta after he was kidnapped by Narra and tied up with me. Then the cameras filmed the entire chase, while Makuta and I tried to break free. He played up the legend of this mansion being haunted to get you guys to believe Makuta really was crazy.""But there's one thing that doesn't explain!" Iruini said. "What about Narra's voice in my head?""Simple" Narra said. "I just told you it was in your head, and you were stupid enough to believe it. I was whispering to you in the cabinet through a hole in the pantry, and just now I was talking normally. You're very dumb."Iruini glared at Narra angrily. Makuta and Pridak did so as well. Then they heard the sirens."Once I broke free" Pridak said, "I used Kaza's cell phone-which I took before the trip-to call the police from the town nearby.""But I thought there was no cell service!" Iruini exclaimed."That was simply a lie" Pridak said. "Mr. Corp had all the amenities removed before you came, and just lied about the cell service and Internet access. This is a mansion, and Mr. Corp is filthy rich! Of course he has luxuries!"The front doors opened and Officer Cufem ran in with his deputy."And I would've gotten away with it, if it weren't for you stupid...kids I guess!" Mr. Corp shouted as the police arrested him and Narra. Cufem ran upstairs to search for Brekit."Well, it all turned out great. And we have a movie to take credit for!" Iruini said happily. "This is actually kind of funny, it being all a joke.""Yes..." Makuta said slowly, gripping the handle of the axe behind his back. "All a joke..."Iruini and Norik were sitting there shaking a bit from Hydraxon's story."So" Hydraxon said. "You want to forfeit, Iruini?""No" Iruini said. "But you already did.""What are you talking about?!" Hydraxon asked him."Our stories are supposed to feature ourselves as a prominent character! Yours had me!" Iruini informed him."We never made a rule!" Hydraxon protested. "In the past, our stories have just happened to include ourselves. You're just saying this because you know you're going to lose!""No I'm not!" Iruini told him."And I'm not disqualified!" Hydraxon said."Fine" Iruini reluctantly agreed. "Your stupid story wasn't that scary."Then Makuta stepped through the tarp gripping an axe."AHHHHHHHHHH!" everyone screamed, this time scrambling out of their chairs and frantically grabbing at the door handle."Hey! Guys! Calm down!" Makuta shouted in surprise."Wh-what are you doing with that axe?" Iruini asked, his knees shaking."I just came from chopping down that tree in the backyard that was dying. Why are you so jumpy?" Makuta stepped past them and opened the door, then walked into the house.Norik sighed with relief. "That was terrifying!""And it's all thanks to my story" Hydraxon decided."Hold up!" Norik protested. "No matter what, that would've been scary. It is the scariest night of the year, you know!""Whatever" Hydraxon mumbled. "You know my story was scary.""Not as scary as mine will be!" Iruini declared. "Prepare yourselves!""Oh. Great." Norik said flatly."Shh! It's starting!" Iruini whispered.THE WHATEVER-YOU-CALL-ITIn Antarctica...The penguin was sliding along the ice on its belly, as fast as it could. That was because it was sliding for its life. The helicopter was flying overhead, and bullets were striking the ice around the penguin. It was lucky to have survived this long, or maybe it was just really good at sliding. The man piloting the helicopter was screaming in Norwegian at the other man to shoot it quickly-it was approaching a camp!In the camp..."Hey, Norik, good news!" Iruini told his friend. "Earlier today my next issue of Game Informer finally got here!"The Toa held up the June 2012 issue of his favorite magazine."Did you know they're making an Elder Scrolls MMO?" he inquired."It's October man. Back home, that's old news.""Well, to me, you, all of the Toa Cerun, the Barraki, the Piraka, Hydraxon, Makuta, Hahli, Lewa, and Tahu, that's brand new information" Iruini dictated stubbornly."Whoa, look!" Norik shouted, dropping his thermos of coffee and pointing to the sky.The two buddies watched as a helicopter neared with a man firing from it. A penguin was sliding along the ice towards the camp, and it seemed that the man was shooting at it. The animal slid into the camp and stopped at Iruini's feet, looking up at him with its cute eyes."Ooh, I'm gonna call you Mr. Tundra!" Iruini shouted, and gave the penguin a hug. "MT for short!"The helicopter lowered, and before it landed, the man with the gun jumped out. He landed in a pile of snow with a thud."Woah! Are you okay?" Norik called, hurrying over. But before he got there, the man jumped up and fired his gun, hitting Iruini in the leg, right next to the penguin."GAH!" Iruini shouted. "STOP SHOOTING AT MY PET!"A window in one of the shacks shattered as Pridak broke it. He fired his revolver, putting a bullet in the man's chest. He fell to the ground and lay still. Everyone else ran out of the main science facility."What happened?" Hahli shouted in surprise.The man weakly lifted his arm and shot at the penguin again, hitting Iruini's other leg. Iruini fell to the ground."AGH! Someone take his gun already!"Pridak fired his revolver four more times into the scientist, killing him."The man in the helicopter has a gun too!" Norik shouted, seeing the helicopter piloting loading his pistol."I got this" Pridak told them. He picked up a barrel of gas and chucked it at the helicopter, then shot it just before it hit the vehicle. It exploded, causing the helicopter to explode as well."I'm awesome" Pridak informed his friends. "Problem solved.""Take the penguin to the kennel. He should be with the other stray penguins that have wandered into this camp pursued by desperate scientists" Kaza said fairly."Yeah, at first I thought it was a coincidence, but after the fifth time this week, I started to get suspicious" Carapar said. "But after nine times, it HAS to be a coincidence.""Makes sense" Vezon agreed.Later..."Time to go feed MT!" Iruini said cheerily, carrying the bucket of penguin feed towards the kennel. He looked inside, but saw nothing at first."MT...oh, there's something in the corner. The penguins must be having a group hug."Then a hideous alien made of nine mutated penguins threw itself against the fence trying to eat Iruini."Oh, guess not. HELP! HELP! HELP!"The four Toa Cerun ran up, weapons drawn. "What is-oh..." Brekit said."Torch it Narra!" Nuhrii shouted.The Toa of Fire kicked open the gate to the kennel and shot a stream of fire at the monster. Kaza joined in with the Phoenix Blade and they burned it to a crisp."Phew" Brekit said. "Glad that's over. Well, now Pridak's gonna feel bad about murdering those scientists. They had their reasons after all."The next morning..."Yeah" Iruini said, walking out of the lab. "That thing can duplicate whatever it kills perfectly.""I knew it!" Pridak shouted wildly. "Any one of us could be...what do we call it?""Ooh, how about the thing?" Norik suggested enthusiastically."Don't be stupid, Norik. We'll just call it a nameless, because we don't have any good names" Pridak declared."Okay. So...who spent the most time with the dogs?" Takadox asked.The five Barraki, Norik, and Iruini began looking around at eachother. The rest of their friends were in the dining hall having breakfast."MAKUTA!" they all shouted in unison, and ran towards the dining hall as fast as they could.DUN DUN! DUN DUN! DUN DUN! DUN!In the dining hall...Pridak kicked open the door to the dining hall and fired a shot from his revolver in the air. Everyone jumped up in a panic from their seats."What are you doing?!" Vezok asked angrily."It's Makuta! He might be a nameless!" Norik shouted, clenching his crowbar tightly.Makuta stepped forwards. "Guys, what are you talking about?""Don't come any closer!" Norik yelled, and sloppily swung his crowbar at Makuta. He accidentally let it go, and it sailed towards the electrical box, destroying it on impact. The building went dark."Norik, you cool dude!" Makuta shouted. "Because you're paranoid, we-WAAAAGH!""MAKUTA!" Iruini yelled, holding his spear in the darkness.There came no answer."GAH!" shouted Vezok."VEZOK?!" Takadox said. "AAAGGGHHH!"The red emergency lights came on, though they were quite dim. The dining hall looked as creepy as any haunted house, and Makuta, Vezok, and Takadox were nowhere to be seen.Lewa grabbed a fire extinguisher off the wall."I will defend myself!" he shouted, and walked back into a corner. He slumped to the ground, gripping thefire extinguisher. "No one come close!"Norik retreated to his own corner with his crowbar. Iruini followed suit, and then Tahu took the last corner.Pridak stepped back from the others, who were all together in the middle of the room. "All of you!" he said. "Spread out, and lay down!""Why?" Hydraxon asked.Pridak shot the ground in front of Hydraxon's foot, causing him to jump."Because you don't wanna get torn apart and then duplicated" Pridak replied.Everyone obeyed, spreading out and laying down."This is outrageous!" Brekit firmly declared. "I'm not one of those namelesses!""Shut up!" Pridak screamed, seemingly going mad. "I don't trust any of you! Move and I shoot! Talk and I shoot!""Pridak!" shouted Lewa. He jumped to his feet and pointed the fire extinguisher at the Barraki.BOOM!Lewa dropped to the ground, a bullet hole in his mask."It's like I said!" Pridak yelled. "Move or talk and you-AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"Makuta had crept up from behind, and now grabbed Pridak's neck. He jerked it to the side, snapping it, and let the body fall to the ground. Then he transformed. He began to grow, to change into one of those aliens.The monster was a menacing thing, a mutated combination of the three who had gone missing. It lifted Pridak's body up in the air and ate it, then sprouted more body parts to accommodate its new meal. The nameless walked over to Lewa's body and did the same as everyone else screamed in terror.The remaining three Barraki jumped up and ran at it, screaming of vengeance. The beast whirled around and grabbed Mantax. It smashed him into Ehlek and Carapar, and then tossed him aside. It stomped down on the backs of the two Barraki, breaking their spines.Kaza wasted no time in attacking. He leapt to his feet quickly. "Torch it, Narra!" he yelled, before unleashing his own fire from the Phoenix Blade. Narra joined in, and the creature howled in pain as they cooked it.Mantax got to his feet and ran at the creature, the last remaining Barraki. He punched it in the face again and again as it burned, furious at the death of his friends. Finally it fell to the ground, a charred heap of mutation."It's...over" Iruini gasped. "All over."Then the door to the dining hall opened. Everyone turned around, weapons at the ready. But it was only..."A penguin!" Norik shouted, running to it and hugging it. "Can I keep him?""GRRRRRR..." growled the penguin. "RAAAAGH!"s"So, how was my story?" Iruini inquired of his friends."Not as good as...m-mine!" Hydraxon stuttered."Y-yeah!" Norik told him. "Not scary at all!"Then the curtain rustled, and a penguin stepped in."AHHHHH!" all three of them screamed, falling out of their chairs."Uhhh...trick or treat?" the penguin said."Oh..." Hydraxon realized. "Heh...""Guess my story is the scariest! I knew it!" Iruini shouted in triumph, as he handed the penguin its candy.THE END!Till next year......when I hopefully won't have router issues before Halloween.
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"The moral of the story is, I chose a half measure when I should have gone all the way. I'll never make that mistake again. No more half measures Walter."


#140 Offline MT Zehvor

MT Zehvor
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Posted Nov 12 2012 - 02:20 PM

Holy beaver that was gigantic. Iruni's story easily gets dead last. All the others...can tie for second worst. Not best, but second worst. The arguing between the stories wins that.:PGood chappy/special, PB.-MT
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