Posted Nov 10 2012 - 12:35 PM
Now that my Internet is finally...stabilized? I bring you the tragically belated second annual Halloween special. This year's special contains parodies of Jurassic Park, The Shining, and The Thing. As always, enjoy!Chapter Seventy-One: Madhouse of Horror IIThe Second Annual It's a Mad House Halloween SpecialMadhouse of Horror IIHalloween had finally come again, and it was going to be a big night at Kaza's house, as it always was. As you may know, the house is full of a large number of Halloween enthusiasts. Not only Kaza himself, but Iruini, Norik, and Hydraxon, who were also large fans of the holiday. And once again, on Halloween night, they set up their tarp around the porch, which was just their tradition, and waited for the trick-or-treaters. The three of them set up around 6:30, and waited a while for the trick-or-treaters to start coming. As there always was, there was a period of time in which they experienced a lull in the trick-or-treating, this time being 10:00 to 10:30. Most of you would think that this was because the trick-or-treating had ended, but if you were a true Halloween expert and enthusiast, you would know that trick-or-treating starts up again, at least in the Halloween-prone neighborhoods, at 10:30 to 10:45. The three of them, of course, knew this, and so there they were, waiting."Well, it's ten 'o clock" Norik sighed. "Time to wait thirty minutes."Hydraxon reached for the small TV they had set up, but Norik slapped his hand down."Ow! What was that for?" Hydraxon asked sharply, rubbing his hand."Remember last year?" Norik asked him. Iruini sat there, simply watching the conversation."Yes, I remember last year" Hydraxon said. "We all told scary stories and mine was far scarier than either of your inferior stories.""Now hold on a second" Iruini argued. "'The Midnight Mailman' was a frightening, suspenseful tale. I think it was pretty good.""It wasn't as good as 'Gone With the Dead'" Norik debated. "I'll bet you're still having nightmares about it.""As if" Hydraxon scoffed. '"How's My Driving?' was terrifying, and you guys know it. You admitted that I was the scariest storyteller.""Yeah, as of one year ago you were the scariest storyteller. But I've counted down all three hundred sixty-five days, waiting for the chance to become the scariest" Norik revealed. "It's once again the best night of the year, and I'm not taking this lightly. I WILL be the scariest. I challenge you to a rematch!"The porch was silent then. After about ten seconds Iruini spoke up. "I have prepared as well. I have a scary story ready, so I accept your challenge! I will be victorious!""I must admit" Hydraxon spoke slowly. "I thought I was the only one to have prepared. I have brought a tale of terror also, and I will successfully defend my title a second time, just like Apollo Creed in Rocky II!""Have you seen Rocky II?" Iruini asked. "Apollo loses.""He does?!" Hydraxon asked. "Huh. I wonder what movie I watched.""Probably Vezon's" Iruini mused. "He didn't like Apollo losing, so he made his own version of Rocky II. I'm surprised you couldn't tell it was made by him.""Why?" Hydraxon questioned."Because!" Norik exclaimed. "He made it with Microsoft Office PowerPoint 2003!""Huh. Well, how about we get to the stories?" Hydraxon suggested."Sure" Iruini and Norik said in unison."I'll go first" Norik decided. "Prepare to feint from the sheer intensity of my story!"A DINO-SIZED PROBLEMOn a helicopter above Isla Golde..."Thank you so much for coming to the opening of my new park!" Norik said, once again thanking his excited guests. Riding with him in the plane were the famous archaeologists Zaktan and Hahli, along with the brilliant (albeit arguably so) Vezon, a chaotician who had a habit of mouthing off."So, this is one of those Disney things, right?" Vezon asked Norik."No, this is a beautiful island full of dinosaurs made from the DNA of a mosquito" Norik corrected him. "Sorry about lying, but I had to convince you to come somehow.""Oh. That's fine" Vezon said casually. "I like dinosaurs.""Now, how did you get the DNA?" Hahli inquired.In an alley, a few months ago..."Now you're sure this amber really does have a prehistoric mosquito in it?" the man asked, looking back and forth before slipping the money to the shady figure."Yeah" the mysterious man said before handing him a paper back and walking off. "Don't worry about it.""Yes!" the first man shouted triumphantly. "I just saved myself months in a boring old mine!"Present day..."Oh, my most trusted worker found some amber containing a prehistoric mosquito in a mine" Norik told her. "We used the blood the mosquito had drunken, which belonged to dinosaurs, to obtain their DNA.""What did you use to fill in the rest?" Zaktan asked."Frogs" Norik answered. "They're all female, too, so there's no reproduction."Vezon snickered. "Bow chicka bow wow..." he mumbled.Norik rolled his eyes and continued. "That way the dinosaurs are kept perfectly under control."On the island..."No! We never escape!" the doctor shouted, standing on the roof of the science building as velociraptors tried to leap up. "I never get home again!"His colleague grabbed a plank of wood and began beating them back. "I've had about enough of these gosh dang dinosaurs on this gosh dang island!"A velociraptor bit his hand and yanked him down to his dinosaur friends, where they proceeded to tear the man apart."AHHHHH!"On the helicopter..."I see. Sounds like a useful method" Zaktan said."Oh, we're landing!" Hahli observed. "I'm so excited!"The helicopter descended to the landing pad, where the group piled out. From where they were, they could see a Brachiosaurus grazing. It was a sight to behold.Norik breathed in deeply and spread his arms, indicating the island. "Welcome..." he said slowly, "to Jurassic Park!"Then a lawyer ran up."You're getting sued for copyright infring-AAAAAAHHHHHGGGGG!"A T-Rex had crept up from behind, picked him up in his mouth, and tore him to pieces."AHHHH!" screamed Hahli, Zaktan, and Vezon."No, no, it's okay" Norik assured them. "He only does that to lawyers.""Whew" breathed Vezon, wiping the sweat from his forehead. "Good."Later...Norik's two grandchildren, the other lawyer (who was representing the investors for Norik's now-nameless park), Zaktan, Hahli, and Vezon were about to take the tour. The lawyer and the grandkids were in one cart, while Zaktan, Hahli, and Vezon were in another cart. The carts were electric, and attached to rails so they would be guided on their tour, seeing all the different dinosaurs.The carts started as the rain began to pour."Bad weather" Hahli muttered. "That means bad luck.""Don't be silly!" Vezon comforted her. "If anything's bad luck, it's the thirteen black cats I trained to walk under ladders that I stuffed in the trunk!""We're dead.""Now, now" Zaktan said. "This is going to go fine."In the other cart, an hour later..."This park is pretty nice" the lawyer said. "Your grandfather is a genius!""Yeah, it is amazing..." the girl sighed peacefully.THUD!The three of them slowly looked up. A blob of gluten had dropped onto the glass that made up part of the roof."Ewwwwwww..." the girl moaned."What's the matter, kid?" the lawyer asked, irritated. "Haven't you ever had gluten before?""No, some people are vegetarians" she said. "I wonder what eats gluten...""I think I have a pretty good idea..." the boy said slowly. He pointed through the window towards the T-Rex exhibit, where the fence was ripped apart.BUM! BUM! BUM! BUM!From far off they heard loud thuds, like heavy footsteps. The water inside the glass on the dashboard began to ripple.BUM! BUM! BUM! BUM!A bit of the water splashed out as the shaking got more intense.BUM! BUM! BUM! BUM!Now the glass fell over, spilling all over the lawyer's lap and breaking on his knee."My knee!" he shouted, and leapt up in pain. His head smacked against the roof and knocked him out. He fell over, into the puddle of water on the floor."He left us..." the boy said. "He promised he wouldn't leave!""No he didn't" the girl argued. "He said 'screw you stupid kids, if anything goes wrong I'm getting out of here'.""Well I wish he said he wouldn't leave.""Hey, what's..." the girl froze, looking at something through the window. It was a tyrannosaurus rex, and its head was practically touching the glass. Its breath was fogging it up."Don't worry, I know what do" the boy said. He held up a flashlight and shone it in the dinosaur's eyes. It stood up and stepped on the car, flattening it. Then the dinosaur bent down and ate the lawyer. After that it starting pressing its head on the glass, which was pressing against the kids.In the other cart..."Oh no!" Hahli shouted."Don't be afraid! I have an idea!" Vezon ran out of the cart and lit a stick of dynamite. Then he threw it at the dinosaur. It went into the dinosaur's mouth and blew up its head. The dead body of the dinosaur fell and bumped into the cart, which slid and fell over the side of the cart road, into the jungle full of dinosaurs."I'll save them!" Zaktan shouted, and jumped over the side as well."We better run" Hahli said."Alright" Vezon agreed. "I got this."Vezon climbed into the cart and pressed the emergency rail release button. The car unattached itself from the rail, and Vezon floored it, leaving the others behind in the jungle.Later, in the main building...The doors swung open; Zaktan and the grandchildren ran in screaming."What is it?" Norik asked. "How'd the tour go?""Horrible!" Zaktan shouted. "The dinosaurs all got loose! We got attacked by a T-Rex, and then had to run the whole way here! The velociraptors are after us!"Zaktan shut the doors, locked them, and lowered a metal bar over the handles."That should keep it shut" he said, and then laughed. "Unless velociraptors learn how to pick locks, break metal bars, and open doors!"Right after he said that, the cart Vezon and Hahli were in smashed down the doors and ran over Zaktan."OW!" he shouted, and then got to his feet. He looked out to see a pack of five velociraptors running towards them."Quick!" Norik said. "Grab the emergency weapons!" Norik tossed everyone a pistol."Granddaddy, how do I use this?" the boy asked.BOOM!Zaktan's foot started to bleed and he fell over. "OW!""Oops" the boy said quietly."I'll hold them off!" Norik shouted, and grabbed a kitchen knife. "GET TO THE CHOPPAH!"The others ran off, hurrying up the stairs to the roof. Before they could get in the helicopter, Norik appeared at the top of the stairs."I thought you were holding them off!" Vezon said."Screw that, I'm getting out of here!" Norik yelled. "This was an awful idea!"He ran to the helicopter and got in. The pilot, who had been sitting there for no reason since they'd landed, started it up. Everyone else jumped in and the helicopter took off. As it lifted off the roof, the velociraptors jumped and grabbed on to the doorway of the helicopter with their claws. Vezon stomped on their claws till they let go and fell to the ground."Well, you know what they say..." Vezon muttered as the helicopter flew away, leaving the island behind."What?" Norik asked."Dinosaurs make man, man makes dinosaurs, dinosaurs are man, man destroys dinosaurs" Vezon recited."Is that really something they say?" Hahli asked doubtfully."Maybe I messed it up a bit..." Vezon mused."So, what did you think?" Norik asked his friends."Really?" Iruini asked him. "Dinosaurs? They're not scary.""Yeah, that wasn't scary at all Norik" Hydraxon agreed.But just after they said that, the water in Hydraxon's glass began to shake and they heard heavy footsteps, the water rippling more with every footstep. Iruini, Hydraxon, and Norik dove behind their chairs, cowering with fear.Then Kaza walked through the tarp and up to the door, straining to hold a heavy arcade cabinet."What are you doing?!" Iruini asked angrily. "You terrified me!""Oh. Sorry" Kaza apologized. "I was just carrying this arcade cabinet from Vezon's Arcade. He wanted to remove this House of the Dead machine to bring in a Street Fighter one. Good news, we now have an arcade cabinet!"Kaza struggled to open the door while holding the cabinet as everyone ignored him. He glared at them and walked into the house."I think it scared you guys" Norik told them."No, that just startled us" Hydraxon debated. "It still wasn't scary.""I think it qualifies as scary-themed, at least" Norik argued."But not actually scary" Hydraxon said. "Well, good thing the least scary went first. We need to save the best for last. So Iruini, you should go next.""But mine's the scariest" Iruini protested. "Besides, I went second last year. You go second, I'll go last.""Fine" Hydraxon conceded. "If you want to ruin the continued rise in scariness, I will go second.""Good" Iruini said quickly. "Because mine's going to be better. I know it.""Yeah. Right" Hydraxon said sarcastically. "Here goes mine!"THE GLIMMERINGTUESDAYThe car was driving down the long, windy, mountainside road. Inside were seated Pridak, Makuta, Kaza, and Iruini."Thanks for coming with me to this mansion again" Makuta thanked his friends. "After all, this house-sitting job pays a lot of money, and I'll give each of you a small amount of it.""You're welcome" Kaza told him. "But this drive was really long and annoying. I'm glad we're finally almost there.""DANG IT!" Pridak shouted. "I think I left my lucky plate at home."Everyone else sighed.Ten hours later..."It still sucks that we had to go back just for that lucky plate"-Makuta glared at Pridak-"but it was worth it. We're finally almost there!""DANG IT!" Kaza yelled. "I left my favorite socks at home!"Everyone else sighed. Again.Ten hours later..."It wasn't fun to go back for those socks"-Makuta stared daggers at Kaza-"but it's okay. We're almost there!""Oh no!" Iruini said. "I left my asthma inhaler at home!"Makuta firmly looked ahead at the road."ack-gak-ack!" Iruini gasped.There was no response.At the mansion...The car pulled up to the mansion. The four friends got out, Iruini inexplicably being okay. The two doors in front opened, and two people stepped up. One appeared to be in his sixties, and the other was Brekit."Hello!" called the old man."Oh, hey Mr. Corp!" Makuta greeted him. "Thanks again for the job!""Mr. Corp?" Kaza whispered to Pridak and Iruini. "Didn't Norik buy some book from that guy?"Pridak and Iruini simply shrugged in response."So" Mr. Corp addressed them, then began speaking quickly, "there is no communication with the outside world, no phones, TVs, game consoles, handheld game devices, newspapers, radios, wireless Internet, wired Internet, no phone service, and the lights may or may not turn on.""And there's no warm water for showers" Brekit added."Are you sure about this?" Pridak asked Makuta."Yeah" Makuta said, not bothering to turn his head and look at Pridak."Well, see you in a month!" Mr. Corp called, then got into his car with Brekit."And here we go..." Iruini sighed.Just before the car drove off, Brekit rolled down his window and shouted, "The groundskeeper will give you a tour of the house! He's probably in the yard somewhere!"Then the car drove off, leaving the four of them to watch over the mansion. Once the car was out of sight, someone jumped out from a row of bushes and ran up to them."Hello!" he greeted them loudly. "I'm Narra, the groundskeeper here! Nice to meet you!""Oh. Hey" Makuta responded. "Mr. Corp said you'd give us a tour?""Yes! Come with me!"In the house..."And this is the indoor pool, where the most recent caretaker drowned his entire family.""I have a question, Mr. Narra" Iruini said childishly."Yes?""Which room was it where that one caretaker electrified all his friends?""Oh, why that was the ballroom!" Narra answered."I thought it was the bonus room" Iruini said curiously."No, silly boy, that was where that other caretaker impaled his brother with a billiard stick!""Oh. Okay.""I...uh...think we better head up to our rooms" Kaza said nervously.Later, at Pridak's room..."Thanks for letting us eat in your room" Iruini told Pridak. "It'd be really boring in this place if we couldn't talk to eachother.""Face it" Pridak said flatly. "It's still really boring here. We need to make our own fun!""Or hike to the nearest town" Kaza suggested."Nah, Makuta needs the company" Iruini said. "Speaking of Makuta, where is he?""Oh, he's just exploring the mansion some more" Kaza said casually.Pridak jumped up from the table and pulled out his revolver. "I don't like it...there's something strange about this place!""You smuggled your revolver in?" Iruini asked him. "How?""I don't go anywhere without my revolver" Pridak answered. "Period.""Well, sit down and put it away" Kaza told him. "If anything does go wrong, I have elemental powers of ice and lightning.""But you didn't bring the Phoenix Blade" Pridak said calmly. "Someone had to bring his signature weapon around here."Meanwhile...Makuta opened the elevator and stepped in. "I better get to Pridak's room and have dinner with everyone else." He hit the button for that floor and the elevator began to rise. But as it rose, he felt something strange and thought he saw something out of the corner of his eye. He whirled around, but saw nothing. Then something else darted by his peripheral vision. He turned once again, but again saw nothing. Then they appeared-three figures, that were there, though at the same time they weren't. They were transparent. They were ghosts, and they were there to haunt the newest caretaker of the mansion. And inside the elevator (which was soundproof, of course) Makuta's screams fell on deaf ears.In Pridak's room...Knock knock knock!"Sounds like Makuta's finally back" Iruini said. Pridak got up, walked to the door, and opened it. Groundskeeper Narra stepped in."Groundskeeper Narra!" Kaza said in surprise. "Nice to see you here!""There's no time for 'nice'!" the groundskeeper said hurriedly. "I'm here to warn you!""Warn us?" Iruini asked. "About what?"Pridak reached for his revolver slowly, wary of danger."Your friend Makuta!" the groundskeeper exclaimed. "He's gonna kill you all!""What?!" Kaza shouted, leaping up from his seat. Iruini followed suit, and Pridak tightened his grip on his revolver."This mansion..." Narra said slowly, "is haunted! The ghosts get to all the caretakers, drive them crazy! Drive them to the point where they want to kill all their friends! And then...they do! It's happened five times before!""Five times?!" Iruini shouted. "I'm never going to see the light of the day!" He dove behind the couch cowering."You've got some explaining to do!" Pridak said, aiming his gun at Narra.Ding!"There's no time!" Narra gasped in terror. "That's the elevator! He's here!"Everyone froze."Hurry!" Narra told them. "Everyone hide!"Narra opened the door to the empty pantry. He stepped inside and closed it. Iruini opened a cabinet above the stove and climbed in, then shut it. Kaza dove inside the washing machine, and Pridak hid inside the closet, revolver at the ready.Iruini, in the cabinet, began to hear something in his mind. At first he was terrified, thinking it was the ghosts of the mansion. But then the strange voice said it was Narra."You have a special gift!" the voice in his head said. "If we do get out of here, and he's after you, call me with your special gift! Call me with...your GLIMMERING!"Iruini, in his mind, told the voice that he would call him if he needed to. Then his thoughts were interrupted. He heard footsteps outside the door."Hellooooooooooooooooooo?" Makuta called whimsically to his friends, gripping the handle of an axe. He was truly insane. He smashed his head through the door, and his eyes darted back and forth. "Live from New York, it's Saturday Night!" he called evilly, and kicked the door down.He began to stalk through the room slowly, laughing darkly. He walked past the cabinet, and Iruini had to stop himself from breathing a sigh of relief. Next the crazed caretaker passed the pantry, where Narra was hiding. Then he poked his head in the laundry room, but didn't think to check in the washer. He walked past the closet, then over to the bookcase. Pridak, as he had planned, dove out of the closet and pointed his revolver at Makuta, who spun around in alarm.Click! Click!"Uh oh..." said Pridak. "Probably should've remembered the rounds." Makuta lunged at him, and slew him with a swing of the axe. The others eyes widened as they heard the slaughter. All three of them leapt out from hiding to make a break for it.[cue Scooby-Doo style chase montage with "What's New Scooby-Doo?" theme song]"Split up!" Narra yelled. "He can't get us all!" All three of them ran out the door into the hallway, then split up. Iruini ran towards the stairs, and Makuta followed him, swinging his axe at the air wildly. Iruini ran down flight after flight, Makuta always one flight behind him. They reached the first floor, and Iruini ran out. Narra was running towards him from the opposite direction."No! Turn around!" Iruini shouted."It's okay!" Narra's voice said in Iruini's head. "Pridak set up a trap out of paranoia before he was killed!""That was fast!" Iruini replied in his mind, as Makuta burst out of the stairwell.[Scooby-Doo song ends]The elevator doors opened and Kaza stepped out, in the middle of Iruini and Narra."Keep leading him this way!" Narra called in Iruini's mind. Iruini continued to run, until the voice told him to jump. He came to a complete halt, jumped straight up, and continued to run."NOT WHAT I MEANT!" Narra shouted out loud. Iruini had stopped and jumped, so he hadn't leapt over the tripwire. He triggered it, and a net shot up, catching him and the nearby Kaza in it.The net dangled from the ceiling with both of them in it. Makuta slowed down and advanced towards Narra, who was nervously backing up. The net was dangling there, sagging under the two friends' weight. "Um...how much can this hold?" Iruini asked nervously."No idea" Kaza replied. "But it was only supposed to snag one person..."As Makuta advanced on the doomed Narra, the rope the net was dangling by snapped, and it dropped on top of their insane friend, pinning him to the ground. Only his head stuck out from under the net."Yes!" Narra shouted. "We caught him!"As Narra triumphantly stood over Makuta, Makuta walked out from under the central staircase (not the flight of stairs Iruini had run down, which entered on the side), a gag in his mouth, a now-untied rope dangling about his legs, and another one about his hands."Makuta!" shouted Narra, Kaza, and Iruini in surprise.Narra leaned over and grabbed Makuta's head. Then he tugged on it, and to everyone's alarm the head came off. It was a mask!"Mr. Corp!" everyone shouted in unison. Then Pridak walked out from under the stairs, where he had also been tied up."What's going on here?" Kaza asked to no one in particular."I think I can explain" Pridak said. "You see, Mr. Corp called Makuta here, and told him he could bring three guests, because he wanted to make a movie without Makuta knowing.""A movie?" asked Kaza."Please" Pridak said in a dignified manner. "No interruptions. What happened is Mr. Corp was planning to make a movie about a caretaker who goes crazy and murders his friends because the ghosts of the haunted house get to him, like they have the other caretakers. But, since he had never directed before in his life, no one wanted to be in his movie. And so he decided that he would trick four people into thinking a killer was really after them, since real terror is much more believable than fake terror. So he set up cameras all around the mansion, and invited Makuta to be the caretaker. Narra was in on it the whole time, and his job was to get Makuta interested in the mansion, so that he would explore. Before dinner, he had kidnapped me after realizing I was suspicious-which I almost always am, and replaced me with an actor-Brekit-who would pretend to be killed by Mr. Corp, who dressed up as Makuta after he was kidnapped by Narra and tied up with me. Then the cameras filmed the entire chase, while Makuta and I tried to break free. He played up the legend of this mansion being haunted to get you guys to believe Makuta really was crazy.""But there's one thing that doesn't explain!" Iruini said. "What about Narra's voice in my head?""Simple" Narra said. "I just told you it was in your head, and you were stupid enough to believe it. I was whispering to you in the cabinet through a hole in the pantry, and just now I was talking normally. You're very dumb."Iruini glared at Narra angrily. Makuta and Pridak did so as well. Then they heard the sirens."Once I broke free" Pridak said, "I used Kaza's cell phone-which I took before the trip-to call the police from the town nearby.""But I thought there was no cell service!" Iruini exclaimed."That was simply a lie" Pridak said. "Mr. Corp had all the amenities removed before you came, and just lied about the cell service and Internet access. This is a mansion, and Mr. Corp is filthy rich! Of course he has luxuries!"The front doors opened and Officer Cufem ran in with his deputy."And I would've gotten away with it, if it weren't for you stupid...kids I guess!" Mr. Corp shouted as the police arrested him and Narra. Cufem ran upstairs to search for Brekit."Well, it all turned out great. And we have a movie to take credit for!" Iruini said happily. "This is actually kind of funny, it being all a joke.""Yes..." Makuta said slowly, gripping the handle of the axe behind his back. "All a joke..."Iruini and Norik were sitting there shaking a bit from Hydraxon's story."So" Hydraxon said. "You want to forfeit, Iruini?""No" Iruini said. "But you already did.""What are you talking about?!" Hydraxon asked him."Our stories are supposed to feature ourselves as a prominent character! Yours had me!" Iruini informed him."We never made a rule!" Hydraxon protested. "In the past, our stories have just happened to include ourselves. You're just saying this because you know you're going to lose!""No I'm not!" Iruini told him."And I'm not disqualified!" Hydraxon said."Fine" Iruini reluctantly agreed. "Your stupid story wasn't that scary."Then Makuta stepped through the tarp gripping an axe."AHHHHHHHHHH!" everyone screamed, this time scrambling out of their chairs and frantically grabbing at the door handle."Hey! Guys! Calm down!" Makuta shouted in surprise."Wh-what are you doing with that axe?" Iruini asked, his knees shaking."I just came from chopping down that tree in the backyard that was dying. Why are you so jumpy?" Makuta stepped past them and opened the door, then walked into the house.Norik sighed with relief. "That was terrifying!""And it's all thanks to my story" Hydraxon decided."Hold up!" Norik protested. "No matter what, that would've been scary. It is the scariest night of the year, you know!""Whatever" Hydraxon mumbled. "You know my story was scary.""Not as scary as mine will be!" Iruini declared. "Prepare yourselves!""Oh. Great." Norik said flatly."Shh! It's starting!" Iruini whispered.THE WHATEVER-YOU-CALL-ITIn Antarctica...The penguin was sliding along the ice on its belly, as fast as it could. That was because it was sliding for its life. The helicopter was flying overhead, and bullets were striking the ice around the penguin. It was lucky to have survived this long, or maybe it was just really good at sliding. The man piloting the helicopter was screaming in Norwegian at the other man to shoot it quickly-it was approaching a camp!In the camp..."Hey, Norik, good news!" Iruini told his friend. "Earlier today my next issue of Game Informer finally got here!"The Toa held up the June 2012 issue of his favorite magazine."Did you know they're making an Elder Scrolls MMO?" he inquired."It's October man. Back home, that's old news.""Well, to me, you, all of the Toa Cerun, the Barraki, the Piraka, Hydraxon, Makuta, Hahli, Lewa, and Tahu, that's brand new information" Iruini dictated stubbornly."Whoa, look!" Norik shouted, dropping his thermos of coffee and pointing to the sky.The two buddies watched as a helicopter neared with a man firing from it. A penguin was sliding along the ice towards the camp, and it seemed that the man was shooting at it. The animal slid into the camp and stopped at Iruini's feet, looking up at him with its cute eyes."Ooh, I'm gonna call you Mr. Tundra!" Iruini shouted, and gave the penguin a hug. "MT for short!"The helicopter lowered, and before it landed, the man with the gun jumped out. He landed in a pile of snow with a thud."Woah! Are you okay?" Norik called, hurrying over. But before he got there, the man jumped up and fired his gun, hitting Iruini in the leg, right next to the penguin."GAH!" Iruini shouted. "STOP SHOOTING AT MY PET!"A window in one of the shacks shattered as Pridak broke it. He fired his revolver, putting a bullet in the man's chest. He fell to the ground and lay still. Everyone else ran out of the main science facility."What happened?" Hahli shouted in surprise.The man weakly lifted his arm and shot at the penguin again, hitting Iruini's other leg. Iruini fell to the ground."AGH! Someone take his gun already!"Pridak fired his revolver four more times into the scientist, killing him."The man in the helicopter has a gun too!" Norik shouted, seeing the helicopter piloting loading his pistol."I got this" Pridak told them. He picked up a barrel of gas and chucked it at the helicopter, then shot it just before it hit the vehicle. It exploded, causing the helicopter to explode as well."I'm awesome" Pridak informed his friends. "Problem solved.""Take the penguin to the kennel. He should be with the other stray penguins that have wandered into this camp pursued by desperate scientists" Kaza said fairly."Yeah, at first I thought it was a coincidence, but after the fifth time this week, I started to get suspicious" Carapar said. "But after nine times, it HAS to be a coincidence.""Makes sense" Vezon agreed.Later..."Time to go feed MT!" Iruini said cheerily, carrying the bucket of penguin feed towards the kennel. He looked inside, but saw nothing at first."MT...oh, there's something in the corner. The penguins must be having a group hug."Then a hideous alien made of nine mutated penguins threw itself against the fence trying to eat Iruini."Oh, guess not. HELP! HELP! HELP!"The four Toa Cerun ran up, weapons drawn. "What is-oh..." Brekit said."Torch it Narra!" Nuhrii shouted.The Toa of Fire kicked open the gate to the kennel and shot a stream of fire at the monster. Kaza joined in with the Phoenix Blade and they burned it to a crisp."Phew" Brekit said. "Glad that's over. Well, now Pridak's gonna feel bad about murdering those scientists. They had their reasons after all."The next morning..."Yeah" Iruini said, walking out of the lab. "That thing can duplicate whatever it kills perfectly.""I knew it!" Pridak shouted wildly. "Any one of us could be...what do we call it?""Ooh, how about the thing?" Norik suggested enthusiastically."Don't be stupid, Norik. We'll just call it a nameless, because we don't have any good names" Pridak declared."Okay. So...who spent the most time with the dogs?" Takadox asked.The five Barraki, Norik, and Iruini began looking around at eachother. The rest of their friends were in the dining hall having breakfast."MAKUTA!" they all shouted in unison, and ran towards the dining hall as fast as they could.DUN DUN! DUN DUN! DUN DUN! DUN!In the dining hall...Pridak kicked open the door to the dining hall and fired a shot from his revolver in the air. Everyone jumped up in a panic from their seats."What are you doing?!" Vezok asked angrily."It's Makuta! He might be a nameless!" Norik shouted, clenching his crowbar tightly.Makuta stepped forwards. "Guys, what are you talking about?""Don't come any closer!" Norik yelled, and sloppily swung his crowbar at Makuta. He accidentally let it go, and it sailed towards the electrical box, destroying it on impact. The building went dark."Norik, you cool dude!" Makuta shouted. "Because you're paranoid, we-WAAAAGH!""MAKUTA!" Iruini yelled, holding his spear in the darkness.There came no answer."GAH!" shouted Vezok."VEZOK?!" Takadox said. "AAAGGGHHH!"The red emergency lights came on, though they were quite dim. The dining hall looked as creepy as any haunted house, and Makuta, Vezok, and Takadox were nowhere to be seen.Lewa grabbed a fire extinguisher off the wall."I will defend myself!" he shouted, and walked back into a corner. He slumped to the ground, gripping thefire extinguisher. "No one come close!"Norik retreated to his own corner with his crowbar. Iruini followed suit, and then Tahu took the last corner.Pridak stepped back from the others, who were all together in the middle of the room. "All of you!" he said. "Spread out, and lay down!""Why?" Hydraxon asked.Pridak shot the ground in front of Hydraxon's foot, causing him to jump."Because you don't wanna get torn apart and then duplicated" Pridak replied.Everyone obeyed, spreading out and laying down."This is outrageous!" Brekit firmly declared. "I'm not one of those namelesses!""Shut up!" Pridak screamed, seemingly going mad. "I don't trust any of you! Move and I shoot! Talk and I shoot!""Pridak!" shouted Lewa. He jumped to his feet and pointed the fire extinguisher at the Barraki.BOOM!Lewa dropped to the ground, a bullet hole in his mask."It's like I said!" Pridak yelled. "Move or talk and you-AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"Makuta had crept up from behind, and now grabbed Pridak's neck. He jerked it to the side, snapping it, and let the body fall to the ground. Then he transformed. He began to grow, to change into one of those aliens.The monster was a menacing thing, a mutated combination of the three who had gone missing. It lifted Pridak's body up in the air and ate it, then sprouted more body parts to accommodate its new meal. The nameless walked over to Lewa's body and did the same as everyone else screamed in terror.The remaining three Barraki jumped up and ran at it, screaming of vengeance. The beast whirled around and grabbed Mantax. It smashed him into Ehlek and Carapar, and then tossed him aside. It stomped down on the backs of the two Barraki, breaking their spines.Kaza wasted no time in attacking. He leapt to his feet quickly. "Torch it, Narra!" he yelled, before unleashing his own fire from the Phoenix Blade. Narra joined in, and the creature howled in pain as they cooked it.Mantax got to his feet and ran at the creature, the last remaining Barraki. He punched it in the face again and again as it burned, furious at the death of his friends. Finally it fell to the ground, a charred heap of mutation."It's...over" Iruini gasped. "All over."Then the door to the dining hall opened. Everyone turned around, weapons at the ready. But it was only..."A penguin!" Norik shouted, running to it and hugging it. "Can I keep him?""GRRRRRR..." growled the penguin. "RAAAAGH!"s"So, how was my story?" Iruini inquired of his friends."Not as good as...m-mine!" Hydraxon stuttered."Y-yeah!" Norik told him. "Not scary at all!"Then the curtain rustled, and a penguin stepped in."AHHHHH!" all three of them screamed, falling out of their chairs."Uhhh...trick or treat?" the penguin said."Oh..." Hydraxon realized. "Heh...""Guess my story is the scariest! I knew it!" Iruini shouted in triumph, as he handed the penguin its candy.THE END!Till next year......when I hopefully won't have router issues before Halloween.
"The moral of the story is, I chose a half measure when I should have gone all the way. I'll never make that mistake again. No more half measures Walter."