For Bbc 63, Fire Rebel Known As Toa Tokua, And His Nuclear Turaga

[Silver the Hedgehog]

This is my Entry for the BBC 63, your fired contest.The enemies are 4 skakdi that Makuta had as a plan B if he died, they are called Terridakdi. The Toa Nuva, and Toa Mahri are now Turaga, and there are 2 Turaga for each tribe. Fire Rebel, Tokua was known as a Ta-matoran who had been created around the time of the inika, and had the appearence of a Ko-Matoran., and Ta-Matoran, and was considered a good defender, and toa for the Nuclear tribe, Fire Tribe, and Ice Tribe. There were 2 more like him, a Ga Matoran who had the strength of an On-Matoran, and a Le Matoran who had the speed of a Po Matoran. These were known as the 3 new Toa, the Toa Rebels. They were the ones tasked to defeating the Terridakdi. The leader was known as The Fire rebel, Tokua. Toa Galiki was the Water Rebel, and Toa Lewana(The only female of the air tribe) The Air Rebel. There is a 4th Toa, that only a Matoran, or Turaga could be. The Mask of Shadows was spawned in the area of which the ignika used to be on Karda Nui. Toa Tokua, and Turaga Nuclose will make sure that they get the Mask of Shadows before the Terridakdi do. If the Terridakdi do manage to get the Mask of Shadows, then Makuta Teridax, and all the others who died in the storm will come back to life.Turaga Nuclose: http://www.majhost.c...y.cgi?i=3394724 http://www.majhost.c...y.cgi?i=3394728Toa Tokua(Fire Rebel): Front Defensive: http://www.majhost.c...y.cgi?i=3394725 Back: http://www.majhost.c...y.cgi?i=3394726 Front Offensive: http://www.majhost.c...y.cgi?i=3394727The Terridakdi:Alpha: http://www.majhost.c...y.cgi?i=3394729Omega: http://www.majhost.c...y.cgi?i=3394731Turaga Nuclose's Honor Guard: http://www.majhost.c...y.cgi?i=3394730Sorry about the picture Quality.Comments, and criticiziam appreciated.

Edited June 8, 2012 by Silver the Hedgehog

[Dralcax]

Disregarding the picture quality, let me be frank. Only one of them has fire, and he's more of an Ice character. I can see hints of something interesting going on in the Skakdi, but overall, your creations could stand a bit more custom. On your Toa, it's better to have a custom torso than custom hips, which look a bit strange. Also try adjusting the look and feel of the thighs. As well, you don't need pistons to support something of that size, just remove those because they ruin the look of the ankles. As well, your Turaga could stand some chest armor and an inverted torso, as well as eliminating the crooked appearance and give him more dignity. As a few MOCing tips, it's better to have a custom torso than some bizarre construct elsewhere functioning as another body part, and pay attention to your color scheme and proportions. Ask yourself, "What trait does my MOC represent? How can I reflect that in its design?" For example, try strong and regal Toa, greedy Skakdi, and wise Turaga, not just bland combinations of pieces in humanoid form.

Edited June 13, 2012 by Chaos Dralcax

[Silver the Hedgehog]

Disregarding the picture quality, let me be frank. Only one of them has fire, and he's more of an Ice character. I can see hints of something interesting going on in the Skakdi, but overall, your creations could stand a bit more custom. On your Toa, it's better to have a custom torso than custom hips, which look a bit strange. Also try adjusting the look and feel of the thighs. As well, you don't need pistons to support something of that size, just remove those because they ruin the look of the ankles. As well, your Turaga could stand some chest armor and an inverted torso, as well as eliminating the crooked appearance and give him more dignity. As a few MOCing tips, it's better to have a custom torso than some bizarre construct elsewhere functioning as another body part, and pay attention to your color scheme and proportions. Ask yourself, "What trait does my MOC represent? How can I reflect that in its design?" For example, try strong and regal Toa, greedy Skakdi, and wise Turaga, not just bland combinations of pieces in humanoid form.

I respect the criticiziam, but to be honest, I made it clear, that it is a new era of the bionicle universe. The toa was not big enough for a custom torso, and his torso looks fine. His hips to stand out, but this character does stand out al together. I don't follow canon sometimes, and the Turaga don't alwas have to have a chest piece. I like giving my toa support legs sometimes to add to the size. The turaga doesn't have to be fire, if I already included fire. My Toa would represent how he is the different toa, that stands out. I try not to copy canon, and it has mostly fire, so I consider him a fire moc. His Mask, and his weapons are the only things that are ice. I still respect your critisiziam though.

[BBBBalta]

The toa was not big enough for a custom torso

Custom torsos can be virtually any size. For example, this is roughly half the size of your MOC and still uses a custom torso.

His hips [do] stand out, but this character does stand out [altogether]. [...] My Toa would represent how he is the different toa, that stands out.

I assume by "stand out" you mean that he is meant to look somewhat deformed. There are more effective ways of achieving this than blowing a body part out of proportion; for example, you could experiment with making the MOC asymmetrical. Something similar to Sumiki's Toa Vultraz could work quite well.

I don't follow canon sometimes, and the Turaga don't [always] have to have a chest piece.

Not sure exactly what that has to do with it, but as it is there's a gaping hole in the MOC's chest. It would simply look better if it were filled in.

I like giving my toa support legs sometimes to add to the size.

Size isn't really a major factor when it comes to MOCs. Far more important is the overall look of the MOC, which could be improved by changing the ankle area. As it is, they serve no purpose and look out-of-place.

The turaga doesn't have to be fire, if I already included fire.

I'm fairly certain only one model can be entered in the first place.With the exception of the Skakdi, the MOCs all seem to suffer from color scheme oddities. They would probably look better if each incorporated only two, maybe three colors. As I stated before, the Turaga would look better with a chestplate. With the Toa, I would either incorporate more ice into the design to emphasize the contrast between it and the fire or else remove the ice completely and focus solely on fire.

[Silver the Hedgehog]

The toa was not big enough for a custom torso

Custom torsos can be virtually any size. For example, this is roughly half the size of your MOC and still uses a custom torso.

His hips [do] stand out, but this character does stand out [altogether]. [...] My Toa would represent how he is the different toa, that stands out.

I assume by "stand out" you mean that he is meant to look somewhat deformed. There are more effective ways of achieving this than blowing a body part out of proportion; for example, you could experiment with making the MOC asymmetrical. Something similar to Sumiki's Toa Vultraz could work quite well.

I don't follow canon sometimes, and the Turaga don't [always] have to have a chest piece.

Not sure exactly what that has to do with it, but as it is there's a gaping hole in the MOC's chest. It would simply look better if it were filled in.

I like giving my toa support legs sometimes to add to the size.

Size isn't really a major factor when it comes to MOCs. Far more important is the overall look of the MOC, which could be improved by changing the ankle area. As it is, they serve no purpose and look out-of-place.

The turaga doesn't have to be fire, if I already included fire.

I'm fairly certain only one model can be entered in the first place.With the exception of the Skakdi, the MOCs all seem to suffer from color scheme oddities. They would probably look better if each incorporated only two, maybe three colors. As I stated before, the Turaga would look better with a chestplate. With the Toa, I would either incorporate more ice into the design to emphasize the contrast between it and the fire or else remove the ice completely and focus solely on fire.

Originally the size of the Moc was bigger, but I toned it down a little. I take a good look at it in person, and I like it. I don't see why a custom chestplate really matters on a MOC. I am aloud to enter as many as I can as it says in the contest, but him, and the Turaga were all one MOC. I tried giving the Turaga something on the front, but there wasn't really any room, and I could not find a straight black piece from the glatorian sets, but ill look more later. I hope making those little minor changes in the finals if it actually makes it, won't do anything to being D'Qed. I like how it looks in person, but I will ajust some of it, and revamp them to make them play, and look better. I am not much of a MOCist, and I might have only made 4-5 creations, with out judging. Thank you for the advice.

[High Voltage]

First off, I have to say that I really hate writing negative reviews, they make me feel bad, like I'm crushing someone's hard work under my heel. Also, Chaos Dralcax and Balta made some valid points. In fact they only made valid points, so sorry if I repeat them. Ah well. Let's get on with it then.Turaga Nuclose: The first thing you notice is how unsymmetrical he is. I don't know if you were going for that or not, but if you were then I would suggest not going with that. It would look more appealing if it were symmetrical. Everything about him could be fixed easily from pieces from the sets you used, so that's useful as well. I see you have Vastus' armour and I recall him having a straight piece of the neck, so I'd recommend that. Chest armour would also mask those blue axil pins that have a habit of making everything worse (no fault of yours of course, that's Lego's problem). Make it grey or green though, not black. The legs should probably be evened up and both have toa feet. The hands also stick out in a bad way and could easily be traded for metru-grey ones which would fit the colour scheme. If the Ehlek spine doesn't fit, it would be better without. I think It would be fine if the pin on the arms were moved up to the top holes though. And jetpacks just don't flow with the set unless they are used solely for jetpack purposes, sorry to say.Toa Tokua: This guy really pushes the limits of 'fire themed'. He really is an ice themed person with a red body, having double the ice themed armour (the 2 shoulders and the 2 staff heads) to fire themed armour (the 2 hero factory flames). Just because he is red doesn't necessarily mean he is fiery. He only has 8 red pieces anyway, the rest is grey, black, white, blue, gold and... apparently also lime-green. Huh. Most good MOC's only use max three colours (and possibly black as a fourth) that compliment each other and have custom torsos, which I can understand if you can't do due to lack of pieces or something, but if you can then it is usually better. The hips and leg supports are unneeded and if it was going to be a bigger size, don't just leave the part's you made for the big version in and make downscaled versions instead. This wouldn't have been such a problem if it was the upper torso, but the legs look freakish and clawed feet again don't suit toa.Terridakdi: They are literally the Inika bodies and legs with piraka heads, feet and legs for arms. And then the piraka have hands for ears, because thats the hip thing to do nowadays. And then they got the Inika's heads and popped them on some zamor launchers, cause that's fashionable. And horrifying. Fashion is horrifying. I'm sorry to say as well that I'm fairly certain the only reason these don't have horrible colouring issues is because you just slapped each colour of piraka and inika together and called it a day. They look decent but that's only because the piraka looked decent. Try more creativity next time.Turaga Nuclose's Honor Guard: It is a piraka with Matoro's upper arms mixed with a liberal dose of every colour that has every existed and will ever exist. This is probably the worst one. It is a piraka clone and has glaring issues with the colour scheme. I actually can't recommend anything for it apart from try not to make this when you MOC. Really sorry to say that.So overall, try to not make clones of the piraka/inika when you build and definitely focus more on colour. Remember, three colours max and a custom design is usually the recipe for good MOCs. You and anyone else can have high potential if you follow those rules. Also, about 15% of this is fire themed. The others shouldn't have been entered in the contest. Really sorry once again I had to be so negative, but I couldn't really say much more.

Edited June 10, 2012 by High Voltage

[Silver the Hedgehog]

First off, I have to say that I really hate writing negative reviews, they make me feel bad, like I'm crushing someone's hard work under my heel. Also, Chaos Dralcax and Balta made some valid points. In fact they only made valid points, so sorry if I repeat them. Ah well. Let's get on with it then.Turaga Nuclose: The first thing you notice is how unsymmetrical he is. I don't know if you were going for that or not, but if you were then I would suggest not going with that. It would look more appealing if it were symmetrical. Everything about him could be fixed easily from pieces from the sets you used, so that's useful as well. I see you have Vastus' armour and I recall him having a straight piece of the neck, so I'd recommend that. Chest armour would also mask those blue axil pins that have a habit of making everything worse (no fault of yours of course, that's Lego's problem). Make it grey or green though, not black. The legs should probably be evened up and both have toa feet. The hands also stick out in a bad way and could easily be traded for metru-grey ones which would fit the colour scheme. If the Ehlek spine doesn't fit, it would be better without. I think It would be fine if the pin on the arms were moved up to the top holes though. And jetpacks just don't flow with the set unless they are used solely for jetpack purposes, sorry to say.Toa Tokua: This guy really pushes the limits of 'fire themed'. He really is an ice themed person with a red body, having double the ice themed armour (the 2 shoulders and the 2 staff heads) to fire themed armour (the 2 hero factory flames). Just because he is red doesn't necessarily mean he is fiery. He only has 8 red pieces anyway, the rest is grey, black, white, blue, gold and... apparently also lime-green. Huh. Most good MOC's only use max three colours (and possibly black as a fourth) that compliment each other and have custom torsos, which I can understand if you can't do due to lack of pieces or something, but if you can then it is usually better. The hips and leg supports are unneeded and if it was going to be a bigger size, don't just leave the part's you made for the big version in and make downscaled versions instead. This wouldn't have been such a problem if it was the upper torso, but the legs look freakish and clawed feet again don't suit toa.Terridakdi: They are literally the Inika bodies and legs with piraka heads, feet and legs for arms. And then the piraka have hands for ears, because thats the hip thing to do nowadays. And then they got the Inika's heads and popped them on some zamor launchers, cause that's fashionable. And horrifying. Fashion is horrifying. I'm sorry to say as well that I'm fairly certain the only reason these don't have horrible colouring issues is because you just slapped each colour of piraka and inika together and called it a day. They look decent but that's only because the piraka looked decent. Try more creativity next time.Turaga Nuclose's Honor Guard: It is a piraka with Matoro's upper arms mixed with a liberal dose of every colour that has every existed and will ever exist. This is probably the worst one. It is a piraka clone and has glaring issues with the colour scheme. I actually can't recommend anything for it apart from try not to make this when you MOC. Really sorry to say that.So overall, try to not make clones of the piraka/inika when you build and definitely focus more on colour. Remember, three colours max and a custom design is usually the recipe for good MOCs. You and anyone else can have high potential if you follow those rules. Also, about 15% of this is fire themed. The others shouldn't have been entered in the contest. Really sorry once again I had to be so negative, but I couldn't really say much more.

Only 2 were enterd in the contest, and again, as previously mentioned, Its a FIRE rebel, and I wanted to stray off of the fire, but it can still be fire themed, and the gold is part of the fire, you can't just make fire all red, and orange. The rest of your points seem valid, and I will redo these MOCS, but thanks to the rules of no modifying the MOCS, I can't do anything about changing it in the contest.

[High Voltage]

First off, I have to say that I really hate writing negative reviews, they make me feel bad, like I'm crushing someone's hard work under my heel. Also, Chaos Dralcax and Balta made some valid points. In fact they only made valid points, so sorry if I repeat them. Ah well. Let's get on with it then.Turaga Nuclose: The first thing you notice is how unsymmetrical he is. I don't know if you were going for that or not, but if you were then I would suggest not going with that. It would look more appealing if it were symmetrical. Everything about him could be fixed easily from pieces from the sets you used, so that's useful as well. I see you have Vastus' armour and I recall him having a straight piece of the neck, so I'd recommend that. Chest armour would also mask those blue axil pins that have a habit of making everything worse (no fault of yours of course, that's Lego's problem). Make it grey or green though, not black. The legs should probably be evened up and both have toa feet. The hands also stick out in a bad way and could easily be traded for metru-grey ones which would fit the colour scheme. If the Ehlek spine doesn't fit, it would be better without. I think It would be fine if the pin on the arms were moved up to the top holes though. And jetpacks just don't flow with the set unless they are used solely for jetpack purposes, sorry to say.Toa Tokua: This guy really pushes the limits of 'fire themed'. He really is an ice themed person with a red body, having double the ice themed armour (the 2 shoulders and the 2 staff heads) to fire themed armour (the 2 hero factory flames). Just because he is red doesn't necessarily mean he is fiery. He only has 8 red pieces anyway, the rest is grey, black, white, blue, gold and... apparently also lime-green. Huh. Most good MOC's only use max three colours (and possibly black as a fourth) that compliment each other and have custom torsos, which I can understand if you can't do due to lack of pieces or something, but if you can then it is usually better. The hips and leg supports are unneeded and if it was going to be a bigger size, don't just leave the part's you made for the big version in and make downscaled versions instead. This wouldn't have been such a problem if it was the upper torso, but the legs look freakish and clawed feet again don't suit toa.Terridakdi: They are literally the Inika bodies and legs with piraka heads, feet and legs for arms. And then the piraka have hands for ears, because thats the hip thing to do nowadays. And then they got the Inika's heads and popped them on some zamor launchers, cause that's fashionable. And horrifying. Fashion is horrifying. I'm sorry to say as well that I'm fairly certain the only reason these don't have horrible colouring issues is because you just slapped each colour of piraka and inika together and called it a day. They look decent but that's only because the piraka looked decent. Try more creativity next time.Turaga Nuclose's Honor Guard: It is a piraka with Matoro's upper arms mixed with a liberal dose of every colour that has every existed and will ever exist. This is probably the worst one. It is a piraka clone and has glaring issues with the colour scheme. I actually can't recommend anything for it apart from try not to make this when you MOC. Really sorry to say that.So overall, try to not make clones of the piraka/inika when you build and definitely focus more on colour. Remember, three colours max and a custom design is usually the recipe for good MOCs. You and anyone else can have high potential if you follow those rules. Also, about 15% of this is fire themed. The others shouldn't have been entered in the contest. Really sorry once again I had to be so negative, but I couldn't really say much more.

Only 2 were enterd in the contest, and again, as previously mentioned, Its a FIRE rebel, and I wanted to stray off of the fire, but it can still be fire themed, and the gold is part of the fire, you can't just make fire all red, and orange. The rest of your points seem valid, and I will redo these MOCS, but thanks to the rules of no modifying the MOCS, I can't do anything about changing it in the contest.

Yeah, I know you can't change them for the contest, I was just reviewing them. If only 2 of these are entered in the contest then you probably should have made seperate topics for the non-BBC creations. And of course gold is fine for fire, it's just that there is only one gold piece on the whole set and it doesn't fit. The whole torso should really be revised. But bionicle doesn't use green or white or blue for fire, and again, it would be better with less colour anyway.

[Silver the Hedgehog]

First off, I have to say that I really hate writing negative reviews, they make me feel bad, like I'm crushing someone's hard work under my heel. Also, Chaos Dralcax and Balta made some valid points. In fact they only made valid points, so sorry if I repeat them. Ah well. Let's get on with it then.Turaga Nuclose: The first thing you notice is how unsymmetrical he is. I don't know if you were going for that or not, but if you were then I would suggest not going with that. It would look more appealing if it were symmetrical. Everything about him could be fixed easily from pieces from the sets you used, so that's useful as well. I see you have Vastus' armour and I recall him having a straight piece of the neck, so I'd recommend that. Chest armour would also mask those blue axil pins that have a habit of making everything worse (no fault of yours of course, that's Lego's problem). Make it grey or green though, not black. The legs should probably be evened up and both have toa feet. The hands also stick out in a bad way and could easily be traded for metru-grey ones which would fit the colour scheme. If the Ehlek spine doesn't fit, it would be better without. I think It would be fine if the pin on the arms were moved up to the top holes though. And jetpacks just don't flow with the set unless they are used solely for jetpack purposes, sorry to say.Toa Tokua: This guy really pushes the limits of 'fire themed'. He really is an ice themed person with a red body, having double the ice themed armour (the 2 shoulders and the 2 staff heads) to fire themed armour (the 2 hero factory flames). Just because he is red doesn't necessarily mean he is fiery. He only has 8 red pieces anyway, the rest is grey, black, white, blue, gold and... apparently also lime-green. Huh. Most good MOC's only use max three colours (and possibly black as a fourth) that compliment each other and have custom torsos, which I can understand if you can't do due to lack of pieces or something, but if you can then it is usually better. The hips and leg supports are unneeded and if it was going to be a bigger size, don't just leave the part's you made for the big version in and make downscaled versions instead. This wouldn't have been such a problem if it was the upper torso, but the legs look freakish and clawed feet again don't suit toa.Terridakdi: They are literally the Inika bodies and legs with piraka heads, feet and legs for arms. And then the piraka have hands for ears, because thats the hip thing to do nowadays. And then they got the Inika's heads and popped them on some zamor launchers, cause that's fashionable. And horrifying. Fashion is horrifying. I'm sorry to say as well that I'm fairly certain the only reason these don't have horrible colouring issues is because you just slapped each colour of piraka and inika together and called it a day. They look decent but that's only because the piraka looked decent. Try more creativity next time.Turaga Nuclose's Honor Guard: It is a piraka with Matoro's upper arms mixed with a liberal dose of every colour that has every existed and will ever exist. This is probably the worst one. It is a piraka clone and has glaring issues with the colour scheme. I actually can't recommend anything for it apart from try not to make this when you MOC. Really sorry to say that.So overall, try to not make clones of the piraka/inika when you build and definitely focus more on colour. Remember, three colours max and a custom design is usually the recipe for good MOCs. You and anyone else can have high potential if you follow those rules. Also, about 15% of this is fire themed. The others shouldn't have been entered in the contest. Really sorry once again I had to be so negative, but I couldn't really say much more.

Only 2 were enterd in the contest, and again, as previously mentioned, Its a FIRE rebel, and I wanted to stray off of the fire, but it can still be fire themed, and the gold is part of the fire, you can't just make fire all red, and orange. The rest of your points seem valid, and I will redo these MOCS, but thanks to the rules of no modifying the MOCS, I can't do anything about changing it in the contest.

Yeah, I know you can't change them for the contest, I was just reviewing them. If only 2 of these are entered in the contest then you probably should have made seperate topics for the non-BBC creations. And of course gold is fine for fire, it's just that there is only one gold piece on the whole set and it doesn't fit. The whole torso should really be revised. But bionicle doesn't use green or white or blue for fire, and again, it would be better with less colour anyway.

The White, and ice blue stays for a purpose. I like to stray away from the rules as I possibly can without breaking them in a contest, also There will be the updated verson of Toa Tokua(Not really updated, but legs were changed, and maybe the torso, and now he has a fire sword, and a ice sword.), Turaga Nuclose body is completely done over, since how the matoran got bigger, the turaga should be too, and both get boards to ride on the trip through a new Karda Nui, which the storm had came to an end, and a new MOC to the storyline, with two characters, the Terridakdi hunter, and the beast master.( Not evil, but good/neutral.), based on an animal that hunts the terridakdi, and perhaps new terridakdi models.