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I Failed A Job Interview


Voltex

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I Failed a Job Interview3000 Part 1Interviewer: So why do you wish to work for us here at How to Be a Hero?Kongu: I think I could be a hilarious addition to your cast.Interviewer: You’re five hours late.Kongu: Exactly! That could be used for some great running gags!Interviewer: I see. I’ve looked over your... resumé... under your strengths you have listed “pie jokes”.Kongu: Yeah. I’ve read a lot of those old “Ask” comedies lately, and they all have pie jokes in them- I figured, they’ve gotta be good for comedy! So I perfected the art!Interviewer: Did you?Kongu: Yeah! Here, look at this video:On the TV screen:Video Kongu: Hey Jaller!Video Jaller: Yeah Kongu?*SPLAT!*Video Jaller: What was that?Video Kongu: Pie!Video Jaller: What kind of pie?Video Kongu: Pecan pie, obviously.Video Jaller: I’M DEATHLY ALLERGIC TO PECAN PIE!Video Kongu: Oh well!Back to the interview:Kongu: See?Interviewer: Jaller was hired just yesterday.Kongu: I know, that’s part of the joke! Jaller pretended to die!Interviewer: I lost my closest friend recently in a pie related incident.Kongu: ...Interviewer: He grew so sick of pie jokes he went over to the pie store, ordered a massive blueberry pie, and drowned in it.Kongu: ...oh.Interviewer: So we’ll scratch that off of the list, because we will obviously not be making pie jokes in this comedy!Kongu: Well, if you look, my next strength is cake jokes!Interviewer: I think we’ll just not do any food jokes at all.Kongu: What about bananas? How about jellybeans? Or moldy socks?Interviewer: If you consider moldy socks to be a food item, I must say I feel sorry for you and those who live within five miles of you.Kongu: ...Interviewer: However, I see that halfway through your skills list you have inserted “good with computers”. I could see that as being an easy to use plot device for the comedy.Kongu: Oh yeah, I’m great with computers! If you watch this-Interviewer: No more videos.Kongu: ...right. Anyway, yeah, once I hacked into my school’s network system, and enabled the students to actually use sites like Wikipedia and Google!Interviewer: I know. I received a report from the school explaining why you’ve been expelled from them and five other schools.Kongu: Well, you know, I’m sure somebody will see my talents for what they are.Interviewer: I’m afraid we don’t want someone like you on our set. We would indeed include hacks within the comedy, but it would all be fake stuff that the viewers would still believe to be real.Kongu: Why not just use real hacks?Interviewer: Because a certain site I am rather fond of was recently hacked, and through the attack it was slowly erased from the internet permanently.Kongu: ...Interviewer: I am honestly finding it hard to restrain myself from beating you to death with my cane right now.Kongu: Was the site called “oldpeoplewearsockstoo.com”?Interviewer: Indeed it was.Kongu: Uh... um... uh... I... uh... hmm... let’s... move along!Interviewer: In your weaknesses you have listed that you are unable to take orders.Kongu: Yeah, any instructions at all, I just feel this inane urge to disobey or ignore, you know?Interviewer: No, I don’t know.Kongu: Oh.Interviewer: Just as a word of warning, you will be ordered about roughly 1263 times a day while on set for this comedy.Kongu: Yeah, I can assure you I’ll directly disobey those orders in the worst way possible at least 894 times. Out of the remaining 369 times, I estimate I’ll actually obey the orders about 52 times.Interviewer: I see. Is there anything else you would like to add?Kongu: I’m WICKED at light saber battles! Give me a copy of The Force Unleashed, and I will kick Darth Vader’s butt!Interviewer: Well Kongu, I’m going to be quite frank with you about my conclusion.Kongu: Sweet! So I’m in as the starring role, right?Interviewer: Kongu, you suck.Kongu: ...Interviewer: You are the worst person I have ever seen, and I’m almost convinced I should begin leading you to my cell underneath the set and chain you there for all of eternity.Kongu: Not exactly the response I was looking for.Interviewer: But certainly the one you should have expected with what you were telling me, you stuck up hacking snob.Kongu: Do you mind if I rip your limbs off?Interviewer: Kongu, have you heard of iBrow?Kongu: Yeah.Interviewer: That’s me. I’m iBrow.Kongu: Oh.iBrow: And I’m not very pleased with how you’ve been acting this entire interview.Kongu: Uh... I can explain...iBrow: I’m sure you can- and you’ll have plenty of time to while you sit in the cell.Kongu: I’m leaving!iBrow: Watch out for the trap door on the way out.Kongu: Trap door? What trap- MAAAMMAAAAMIAAAAaaaaa.....iBrow: What a messy customer! Compared to him, Furno was an angel!The End!

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Congrats! But you're not really at 3000 posts yet...but I'll take it :).Kongu is very interesting--VERY interesting indeed. Next up: Mantax (and i'm just guessing!).~TN:TS~

Nope, no Mantax. Mantax will not be appearing at all.

If only this was made for exactly your 3000th post. This would be so much more cooler. Anyways, I like this and Kongu is such an attractive character. It would be cool if he could be in How to be a Hero but too bad he failed the interview.

I have 3 things planned for 3000, and this is the first, so none of them are going to be 3000 exactly. :P I don't have plans to use Kongu in How to Be a Hero, but maybe later on...

Jokes were a little stale, sorry buddy.

If you don't like it, that's fine, but if you're not going to tell me what made the jokes stale or unfunny then posting is pointless. -ibrow
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Kongu is a little too ordainary for How to be a Hero. This comedy is living proof. :)

I can't tell if that means you disliked this or not... :P

Oh, man. Kongu is one of the best heroes. He could take Tahu's job as the teacher.Well, this was funny, I guess that's what really counts.And ALL pie jokes are funny. I know this.

Still overused, which is why I never use them.Except this oneshot, but I hope I gave it a new enough spin that it didn't matter.-ibrow
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Kongu is a little too ordainary for How to be a Hero. This comedy is living proof. :)

I can't tell if that means you disliked this or not... :P
I liked it.The last line of the comedy was my favorite line of it.
Okay, got it. xD Now you all know how I choose the characters in the comedy!-ibrow
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iBrow: What a messy customer! Compared to him, Furno was an angel!
Ha ha ha, Furno an angel...as if. :lol:

I shall be saying this with a sigh

somewhere ages and ages hence:

two roads diverged in a wood, and I

I took the one less traveled by

and that has made all the difference.

 

-Robert Frost, The Road Less Traveled

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