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The Wretched


Diebeq

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This is a short story about the Skakdi society before the civil war, from the point of view of Deriahk, one of my MOCs. This story was originally written by me in Spanish, but I applied some corrections.

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"The Wretched"

PrologueThe darkness begins to disappear, letting in the light with relentless force. However, nothing of what I see is clear; I only see spots moving in multiple directions at a rate that, for weakness, I cannot follow.My senses are returning slowly, almost as painfully.What is happening? Where am I?I just feel my body lighter, being transported between silvery halls by various entities… fingering my wounds without any consideration.While they manipulate my ruined body, I will just close my eyes and discuss the harrowing series of events that took me, Deriahk, to disgrace.Chapter 1I once had it all. I was a member of the highest class in my island, Zakaz. I was a Skakdi endowed with enviable benefits. I was… possibly… an overprotected fool that was not prepared to face the calamities of the future.In those glorious days, our whole race was ruled by a very special Skakdi that, like our land, was called Zakaz...You know very well that life is fleeting, but that logic did not prevent Zakaz’s death to be one of the most striking events in Skakdi history. He died at an advanced age, leaving us all with the great need of a fatherly figure to follow.His funeral was at the beach, and the entire population was organized around his altar, me and others of my class in the front row, watching closely what was happening. Next to me was one of my best friends at the time, Nektann."Now what will become of us?" Nektann complained, between anger and concern."I do not know." I lied.Nektann was a highly respected elite soldier, but despite that, he had no access to the knowledge I had at that time. I knew very well who had been chosen to take Zakaz’s place as king… and I didn't like the idea.Then the new ruler raised above Zakaz’s corpse, which was lying among fine fabrics, and extended her arms toward the sky. The audience applauded, but not enthusiastically.I knew her very well. Her name was Riaxix, and had long been my mentor in public affairs. An excellent speaker, exceptionally beautiful, and far more intelligent than she showed (which was already a lot).Her pale white armor reflected the moonlight, making her glow like an angel amid the dreary landscape. Soon, the mere presence of the body was overshadowed when Riaxix began to speak. Her sultry voice captivated the audience, forcing them to keep silent."Zakaz was a father to us all." Riaxix said. "We all lost a father this day."Those words remain with me forever…Then I heard the applause again, with a renewed enthusiasm that seemed nonexistent a few minutes ago. Nektann was one of the few who did not applaud."She knows too well the effects of her manners." He criticized.Then a handful of Skakdi formed around Zakaz’s body. They slowly transported him to the edge of the pearled sea, and then let him go. The body was swallowed by the darkness of the waters, and the deeper it fell the more it sank into oblivion the peace that used to reign in our lives.Chapter 2There are several legends about the Makuta; powerful beings who maintained law and order among the various lands and civilizations in the universe. If you are aware of this, I am sure you will be able to name some of those sinister individuals.Miserix… Teridax… Bitil… Icarax… None of them matter to me; the one from which I will speak in this monologue is about Spiriah. With just mentioning his name I feel a nasty taste in my teeth.Before delving deeper into the subject, I must tell a little story.-----Riaxix told me about the recent events in the remote island of Metru-Nui. The local Matoran had entered in civil war recently, so the Brotherhood of Makuta took the initiative to assign each of its members to an island to prevent something similar from happening in the future."A civil war is a clear reflection of a dysfunctional society." Riaxix said as she recounted this story. "We should be proud of ourselves for not having suffered the misfortune of the Metrunians."Ah, Riaxix… Is it possible that you condemned us all by saying that?-----Anyway, back to the subject, Spiriah would be the representative of our land on behalf of the Brotherhood of Makuta. As soon as he appeared he became a new king, meddling in affairs that were not of his concern. I had struggled to become Riaxix’s personal assistant in her government, only to bear with Spiriah’s presence periodically.One day, he called a meeting at the Palace of Riaxix to discuss an important issue. As expected, I was late, so when I entered in the conference room all eyes were on me. The meeting was uncomfortable from the start.When everyone was seated and quiet, Spiriah began the debate in a particular way: He raised his right arm and an emanation of shadows covered his hand. We all jumped from our seats as if it was a threat."You wonder how I can do this… Right, my friends?" Spiriah said."Those are… irrelevant issues, Spiriah." Riaxix answered bitterly.Spiriah frowned a millisecond, and then returned to take the expression of vanity he had habitually. "It should not be like that, Riaxix."Everybody whispered among themselves.“I have found an organism…" Began Spiriah. "I've done several tests too, and I think it would be possible… to improve you all as a species."Everyone jumped when Spiriah finished that sentence, including me."Picture it …" Said Spiriah. "You, the Skakdi, have it all… but you lack power. It is a mandatory step to reach perfection."'Perfection' was a word Riaxix could not ignore under any circumstances, even if it meant death and suffering for thousands of Zakaz residents. Of course, I remained indifferent."What do you suggest, Spiriah?" Riaxix asked.She did not know that, with this question, she had already given permission to Spiriah to carry out his plans without limitations.Chapter 3I began to feel an annoying burning sensation in my eyes, like all my colleagues. The Makuta convinced us that it was a normal symptom of the experiments and that It would not last long. Cruel lies. The pain tormented me terribly, and I even seemed to see things in front of me smaller than normal. But... yes! Indeed they had become smaller!This was the first power I discovered in me, and I was not alone, because the skies filled with scarlet lasers, each causing a different kind of disaster. The buildings fell, the streets fell… and finally the bodies also fell.In less time than I could have imagined our social order was destroyed. Riaxix made every effort to maintain order (with me assisting her, of course), and all in vain. I should have known that some Skakdi were not ready to handle such power, and so the civil war began. We had fallen into a disgrace worse than the Metrunians.Riaxix summoned all of her trusted people to her palace. I heard the echo of gunfire outside the building, and it seemed to trap me. Everyone was in a bad mood that day."This is a disaster." Riaxix said."That's what we get for hearing that fool's words." Replied a diplomat.Riaxix was furious at the comment, and fired a burst of ice from the scepter she used to carry. The diplomat was immediately frozen, and then Riaxix began to moan in despair."The only way to stop this is by force." She said. "We will form legions of soldiers, the more disciplined ones… and compel the population to cooperate.""What will those legions do?" I dared to ask.Riaxix looked at me straight in the eyes, and then I got ready for her attempting to freeze me as the unfortunate Skakdi further into the room. However, she did not dare to do so."You know there are no other options to choose from, Deriahk." She said. "I need your support."I remained silent, waiting for her to ask me for that terrible thing that I was unwilling to comply."You are friends with that… Nektann, right?" She asked."Yes." I answered."Go with him. You'll be the first to form a legion." She ordered. "Take with you our best soldiers, and go to the streets to fight for peace in Zakaz."Chapter 4Riaxix was a thing of the past, like civility and good manners of the Skakdi. Also, Spiriah did not show up again in Zakaz, which is perhaps the only good that came out of this.Separated into legions, the diplomats took control of fragments of the population. I was one of those leaders. I must admit that, though not so satisfactory as the life I had before, my time as Skakdi Warlord was exciting. Obviously, I suddenly remembered that behind victories and conquests there is always greed and betrayal.I was in my refuge in the southern woods that fateful day. My legion was outside, recovering from a recent mission. Unfortunately, my meticulous and complex (also worth adding 'exquisitely crafted') plans required a bit more intelligence and stealth that some ordinary soldiers could not achieve, so they returned to me with their hands empty. My reaction to that failure was not something tolerable for my underlings, so the situation had become a little tense.Suddently, Nektann interrupted my business and entered my home aggressively. I tried to keep my composure and discuss with him; after all, we were great friends."You. Dead.” Nektann said, pointing me with his scythe.With those words, two more Skakdi entered the room with their weapons ready. An intense cold came out of my chest and spread all over my body. Without hesitation, I took my warhammer from the corner. However, I was not mentally prepared for what would follow.Nektann took two steps forward, facing me directly."You are despicable, Deriahk… It's time for you to get out of the way, my old friend.""I'm not your friend!" I shouted angrily, lifting my warhammer and giving a sharp blow that fell on the floor.Nektann, having a past as a soldier, was an impossible rival for a diplomat like me. The battle was lost from the start, but I struggled to survive.A jet of water shot me down, but I immediately responded with my eyebeams. However, Nektann created a deflector field and the blow fell away. Then he approached, he pressed his foot against my chest and took repeated blows with his scythe on my face. Blow after blow, he tore my face in the most savage way possible, leaving pieces of my armor scattered on the floor. It was not worth it to keep fighting."I am the victor." Said.The two thugs approached, ready to congratulate their new leader and receive his orders.-----I opened my eyes, and I found myself alone in the woods. Obviously, Nektann had left me there, thinking that I would be Kinloka food. A faint glow on the floor caught my attention, and I crawled towards it. This was a sheet of crystalline protodermis, with a written message:"Good luck." It said, and then it showed a map to the location of a boat.Despite the pain in my teeth, I could not help but smile. Using the little strength I had left, I got out of my misery. Zakaz was lost, but I would not fall with it.EpilogueThe boat was in the right place on the map, as I desired. When I saw it, my body filled with power and I began to move faster. Soon the disaster would end for me.Then a figure appeared next to the boat. She was covered by a long gray cloak, which made recognizable only the brightness of her eyes. I saw this being as an enemy, but luckily I still had my hammer with me to fight. When I was face to face with the figure, a familiar voice came."Hello again, Deriahk."The figure took off her coat, revealing her scarred body."Riaxix." I said.With a sad face, Riaxix confirmed my theory. Through her eyes I could feel the suffering of her soul. Using her scepter as support, Riaxix moved a little more, showing an acute limp in her right leg. She was no longer the strong, obsessive and impatient leader that I knew in the past."I was sure that among all my colleagues, there was a friend." Riaxix said. "I am proud to see you and, although your wounds hide it, I'm sure you still believe in the ideals that used to govern our society."She took my hand and approached me to the boat."I made bad decisions in the past, but I will not regret this." She said. "I want to save you. Take this boat and go away. Keep alive the ancient legacy of the Skakdi, and seek a future with purpose."Riaxix helped me sit on the boat, and then I saw her in the eyes."Come with me, Riaxix." I offered."No." She answered. "I am responsible for all this. I do not deserve it."Before I could object, Riaxix pushed the boat out to the sea. Then the engine started to rumble, transporting me farther and farther away from the island that had been my only home. Giving one last look back I could see Riaxix, smiling and with a dagger in her hand. She closed her eyes, raised the weapon, and buried it in her chest. Her body fell on the edge of the beach and was eventually swallowed by the dark waters, where she received the tomb of a leader.With the vastness of the sea on the horizon, I closed my eyes and cleared my mind. The destiny would decide if I was saved. That decision was no longer within my reach.And I promised, on behalf of Riaxix, that the legacy of the old Skakdi society would live in me.

Edited by Diebeq5b

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I have to admire the thought you put in here - you seem to identify well with your characters and the transformation they are going through, and it shows. If you would like to write more using this character or about his future, I'd be happy to read it. However, while I understand that translating things from Spanish isn't easy, here's a few notes on spelling/grammar.

and I don’t liked the idea.
Should be "and I didn't like the idea."
Then the new ruler raised on Zakaz’s corpse...
I'm not exactly sure what you mean here, but it probably should be "Then the new ruler raised Zakaz's corpse".
Her sultry voice captivated the audience, forcing them to keep silence.
Should be "Her sultry voice captivated the audience, forcing them to keep silent."
Her sultry voice captivated the audience, forcing them to keep silence. There was no need to raise her voice at any time.
"There was no need to raise her voice at any time." is redundant; the first sentence implies it, so no need to state it.
Then I heard the applauses again, with a renewed enthusiasm that seemed nonexistent a few minutes ago.
Should be "Then I heard the applause again, with a renewed enthusiasm that seemed nonexistent a few minutes ago."Once again, good job here, hope to see more of your work! :)
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I have to admire the thought you put in here - you seem to identify well with your characters and the transformation they are going through, and it shows. If you would like to write more using this character or about his future, I'd be happy to read it.Once again, good job here, hope to see more of your work! :)
Thanks a lot for your comment and the help! I really appreciate it! :)

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