6 replies to this topic

[Lucina]

The Universe is a RiddleI’m falling in some kind of huge cavern... not the brightest idea I’ve ever had. Now what? What the heck are you supposed to do when you’re falling to your death with the Mask of Life?Put on the mask.“Huh- who’s there?! Show yourself! I demand it!”Matoro cursed under his breath, looking around for the voice in his head, but there was no figure to match it to.“I just heard a voice, I swear. Or did I just think I did? Maybe I’m going crazy. After all, I’m sure falling to your death after somehow managing to outpace an entire island would do weird stuff to your brain.” Matoro told himself. “Does it mean the Mask of Life? Why would I put that thing on? It hasn’t helped me much so far.”The Toa Mahri of Ice shrugged to himself and removed his own mask, replacing it with the Ignika.“Whoa, wait a minute! Too much knowledge! Too much! I don’t want this much! Stop it! I don’t want to learn your history, you stupid mask! Give me my old Kanohi back! Where is it? I can’t see! Why can’t I see?! Wait a minute...”“Nope. I’m not doing that. I know how I’m supposed to use you now, and I’m not doing it. I’m not doing that! Good grief.”Use the mask.“Okay, that isn’t even in the script! Stop it!” Matoro snapped.Use the mask.“You know, Turaga Nuju once said that the universe is a riddle. At least, I think that’s what he said, because he was speaking in those weird bird whistles at the time. Say, I wonder how Turaga Nuju is doing now. I kinda forgot about him... oh well, I’m sure he’s doing fine. Nobody ever listened to what he said anyway.”USE THE MASK.“No, I refuse! Anyway, he said the universe was a riddle. And today, I will be the answer. I will show everyone that I am not afraid to do what’s best for me, and only me! I will survive! Take that, suckers!”What about your friends?“What, the other Toa Mahri? I’m sure they’ll be fine!”Meanwhile, Surrounded by the Barraki:“Oh no!” Hahli cried.“What is it?” Nuparu asked, kicking Kalmah away.“Look!” Hahli pointed. “Jaller’s going nova! And if he does, he’ll kill us all!”“I have to!” Jaller called. “They’ll kill us and Matoro anyway!”“Oh no you don’t, Toa!” Pridak screeched, leaping forward. “Ow, you son of an eel! That burns!”“He’s going nova, what did you expect?” Nuparu asked.Pridak didn’t have to answer as Kalmah wrapped a tentacle around Nuparu’s neck, yanking him away and spinning him into the jaws of a rather large Takea Shark.“Nuparu!” Hahli called. “Don’t worry! We’ll save you... maybe.”“And by maybe we mean not at all.” Kongu grunted from beside her. “That lame guy deserves it, refusing to hand me the Mask of Flight like that.”“Kongu!”“What?!”Back with Matoro:“Yes, they are definitely one hundred percent a-okay.” Matoro affirmed.Fine... I will force you to use my power.“Wait, what?! What the heck?! My body! It’s changing- turning into... energy?! Why?! How are you even doing this?! Make it stop! Make it stop! I’m too young to die again!”You must die so that your energies can combine with mine to save Mata-Nui.“This doesn’t make sense! Turn yourself into a Toa and do it! I don’t want to!” Matoro wailed. “Already I can barely remember what it felt like to be in battle- or to be lonely- or to feel joy or pain or sadness! Why is this happening?!”You’re going beyond that now.“I don’t want to go beyond it! The beyond sucks! How do I know if there will be an afterlife?!” Matoro continued. “But... I can still remember my friends. Looks like they’re doomed, actually. Haha, Nuparu just got carried away by a Takea Shark! Hey, look- there goes Hewkii! Nicely done Takadox, I must say. Oh, and there goes Takadox and Kalmah, both downed by Kongu. Ouch.”Do you wish to save them?“I dunno. Not really much I can do, is there?”You can use my power.“But I am no longer an ordinary Toa of Ice! I am the Mask of Life and it is me! Wait... nah, I’ll keep going. Thus, I shall use its powers to....”To what?“Hold on, I’m trying to decide.”How about save your friends? You could send them back to Metru-Nui.“Actually, I think I’ll use it to freeze Jaller into an ice cube. Just so that he can be reminded one last time that I was a far better person than he ever could hope to be.”Yeah, because dooming the entire universe makes you such a nice person.“Shut up, mask. Do it! Freeze him up!”It is done.“Yes! All will be made right! All will be as it is meant to be!”Meanwhile, surrounded by Barraki:Jaller suddenly found himself frozen within a giant ice cube, his nova powers completely diffused.“What the... who did this?!” he shouted, his voice extremely muffled. “Wait a minute... MATOROOOO!”Back with Matoro:Are you absolutely certain you won’t send them back to Metru-Nui?“Fine, for the love of Mata-Nui, send them to Metru-Nui already!”Even though it’s almost too late- Nuparu is missing, the Takea Shark is too far away.“Nuparu sucks. The rest can go.”It has been done, and they are now home.“Wonderful. And now to exhaust your energies by keeping myself alive!”What? No!“Yes!”In his last moments, Matoro knows no fear.“Yes I do!”He knows he has succeeded... sort of. The Toa are safe, able to mostly resume their lives in Metru-Nui. The Turaga and Matoran will know that some of them became true heroes. Matoro does not see himself as a hero.“I do so, thank you very much!”As a Matoran, a Toa Inika, and a Toa Mahri, all he ever tried to do was his duty.“Yeah, and look where that got me! Stuck falling to my death, with a useless mask in my hands!”Now that duty has led him to his desti-“Take that, you lousy mask! Ripped you right off of my face! It frickin’ hurts, too! Geez, what do you attach with, medical needles? Oh well, I have my body back! Woohoo! And now I’ll survive!”“Hey, what’s that shadow? Is that- oh no, that’s not water! That’s dry land! How is this even possible?! No! No! Stop! Mask! Help! Somebody!”SPLAT.“And good riddance too, I say!” the Kanohi Ignika scolded as it bounced away. “That’s what you get! I did try to save you all, but no, you just had to go and die on everybody! And now I’m gonna be stuck sitting in this filthy swamp for all of eternity!”

[Toa Smoke Monster]

I enjoyed reading this. The dialogue between the Ignika and Matoro was very cool. I couldn't help but laugh when Matoro said that the beyond sucks. And poor Nuparu, being taken away by that Takea Shark. He didn't get a break, did he?There was one part that I think could've been worded better, and it is:

“Take that, you lousy mask! Ripped you right off of my face! It frickin’ hurts, too! Geez, what do you attach with, medical needles? Oh well, I have my body back! Woohoo! And now I’ll survive!”

The bold section here is a little weird, IMO. I think putting something like 'Matoro ripped the Mask off his face' before Matoro's dialogue would help make it a little easier to understand. That's just me though.Aside from that, I really enjoyed this story. I wish you good luck in the LSO 2012!

Edited by The Smoke Monster, Jun 24 2012 - 10:44 AM.

[Lucina]

I enjoyed reading this. The dialogue between the Ignika and Matoro was very cool. I couldn't help but laugh when Matoro said that the beyond sucks. And poor Nuparu, being taken away by that Takea Shark. He didn't get a break, did he?There was one part that I think could've been worded better, and it is:

“Take that, you lousy mask! Ripped you right off of my face! It frickin’ hurts, too! Geez, what do you attach with, medical needles? Oh well, I have my body back! Woohoo! And now I’ll survive!”

The bold section here is a little weird, IMO. I think putting something like 'Matoro ripped the Mask off his face' before Matoro's dialogue would help make it a little easier to understand. That's just me though.Aside from that, I really enjoyed this story. I wish you luck in the LSO 2012!

Thank you for the review! Unfortunately I can't edit that anymore, but maybe it won't make me lose. Maybe. -ibrow

[FireEmblem]

i guess my comment didn't go through. stupid iphone.anyways, i thought it was great, it's a different variation of matoro's death and a humorous one at that. can't believe you basically left nuparu for dead, haha. or maybe he's not dead, and his fate's ambiguous? not sure. anyways, great comedy, ibrow.

[Lucina]

i guess my comment didn't go through. stupid iphone.anyways, i thought it was great, it's a different variation of matoro's death and a humorous one at that. can't believe you basically left nuparu for dead, haha. or maybe he's not dead, and his fate's ambiguous? not sure. anyways, great comedy, ibrow.

Ambiguous- I don't imagine a Toa with a Volitak being eaten by a shark. He'd find a way out of that particular situation for sure. However, whether he'd survive long after that is another question. -ibrow

[fishers64]

I liked the fun twist on the dialogue, but the ending is a serious depressor. Seriously. Really, Matoro, you might as well sacrifice yourself for the universe because you're going to die anyway. Actually, that's probably the funniest joke of this comedy. Good job, Mr. ibrow - good luck on the contest, seeing as I have nothing to complain about. It might have been slightly better if Matoro realized the fact I just iterated - the fact of him dying anyway - right before he hit the ground...something to consider, anyway...

[Lucina]

I liked the fun twist on the dialogue, but the ending is a serious depressor. Seriously. Really, Matoro, you might as well sacrifice yourself for the universe because you're going to die anyway.Actually, that's probably the funniest joke of this comedy. Good job, Mr. ibrow - good luck on the contest, seeing as I have nothing to complain about. It might have been slightly better if Matoro realized the fact I just iterated - the fact of him dying anyway - right before he hit the ground...something to consider, anyway...

Part of the plan all the way through- Matoro was going to die regardless. So in the end, his selfishness doomed us all. Matoro did realize at the last second that he was going to die- he just failed to do anything about it.-ibrow