Jump to content

Loganto The Le Matoran.


Lemony Lepid

Recommended Posts

Actually Alaxus, long before my comics, this guy, kalarezka, was a soul eater back when I was a toa. I had been of two elements, Air and plantlife. The soul eater stole the souls of all Le-koro, so I sacrificed my air elemental abilities for them. stealing the souls back from kalarezka, and returning to matoran form. Yet, a debt must be payed. for eternity, I must dual him every birthday, otherwise, brutico is going to find me soulless on my bedroom floor. No one elce knows about this but me.and those tho are wondering:nalhasayit xa fesh hososh eis xa hotafhogh dahie hashea - this is in the ancient words of the great beings.Open the gates to go to the relam of the soul stealer - what it means

Edited by Loganto The Le-Matoran

~UntitledModel_9.png.a8adc254dbd8da1586473030e7c7d30e.png~

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well, that's an interesting twist, but there are a few problems with that. I'll give you some critique so you can improve next time around. Basically, too many plot holes, and it came across as random and anticlimactic. 1. Who is that gold guy? Where did he come from? How does he know Loganto? What's their relation? How did he get the power to turn people into great beings, and why did he do it?2. What about Loganto? Why did he go to him when he died? Why was he worthy or capable of becoming a great being? 3. Great Beings aren't made for fighting, they're made for creating and being really tall.

Pk57sNJ.jpg

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Alaxus, remember bulita, from the new mask saga? that's him, and he IS a great being, therefore, he has the authority.He saved me so I could live. I dont die, AND i can do cool stuff.When a matoran dies, he goes thrue his mask's spirit. most masks dont have a spirit, so streight true the vail they go. I have bulita as my mask spirit. the one who gave me the powers, remember?the only way to make me live was to become immortal, so I turned into a great being.I just needed to live to fight kalarezka, and I know, but look at rohalison, he is still a matoran, yet a great being too.

Edited by Loganto The Le-Matoran

~UntitledModel_9.png.a8adc254dbd8da1586473030e7c7d30e.png~

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Good enough explanation, Loganto. In that case you're fine.Well. This is awkward. Have you two even met?On to the comic, then.I couldn't really tell who was saying what around the beginning, the dialogue was confusing. Anyway, SHOOP DA WHOOP LAZOR. Instantly solves villain problems instantly.Looks like he burned him so badly that his blood congealed.

Pk57sNJ.jpg

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Or birthdays!NEW COMIChello? anyone home?END OF SEASON ONE!PGS spots open (go for it soran! I dare ya!)Time for changes.All my PGS's, can you:give me your element type and any extrasyour personalityany changes you wish to make to your char.If anyone has comic sugestions, go for it.Cat names Contest! poor (to be named later) has no name!ALL ENTRIES MUST BE IN THE FORM OF A PM.only one entry per BZPerno I will not name him oneker. unless that's the best you got.it is a HE.

Edited by -Windrider-

~UntitledModel_9.png.a8adc254dbd8da1586473030e7c7d30e.png~

Link to comment
Share on other sites

ah ha ha. thanks. but season one will always be on my hard-drive... I mean heart, yea heart.Also, I found a patch on PDN for object outlines, so glow text comics are coming up! (clap for me will ya!)I'll give ya a preview in about an hour. im at school right now. last piriod though!See ya soon!

~UntitledModel_9.png.a8adc254dbd8da1586473030e7c7d30e.png~

Link to comment
Share on other sites

He must be in my time zone Loganto. Some suggestions I can give you:Glow text( which you will be doing anyway) it looks cleaner if your not a pro on speech bubbles. Grammar: It will be better if you come up with conclusive grammar for the next season. You have obviously improved since the first comics but just keep that in mind. Connect thoughts clearly and put text that comes first above other text so people can read the story downward. Spelling: Use google and try not to misspell any words. It will make the comics more enjoyable. I know I'm not great at spelling because English is not my language but I try to look up all the words I don't know. You have improved the asthetics from the beginning so I don't have much more to say other than good luck.

sig2_0.png


Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am going to use glow text from now on.I am working on my grammar and spelling.Also, I am working on getting cash for a virus protection program.I am trying to get comic Ideas, so feel free to help.I also only have... two PGS spots left? so hurry up and get some grub!see ya guys!

Edited by Loganto The Le-Matoran

~UntitledModel_9.png.a8adc254dbd8da1586473030e7c7d30e.png~

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

This is a bit late but its been awile since i've seen one of the huge BLARGH lazers for a while i miss seeing those but nice ending to season 1

one day this will contain greatness only the best. But take this with the ocean of salt then you will know what to expect from this

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 4 weeks later...
  • 5 weeks later...
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...