The Plague- Review
Posted Aug 24 2012 - 09:30 PM
Should be remembering.
He yelled, remember the old foe who had once been fused to the mask of life
Should be your.
“We cannot trust you, Piraka. You’re kind can never be trusted.” Axonn stated, pointing at Vezon.
Should be in which.A final thing that I noticed was that you broke up your one chapter into two or three parts; while there's nothing inherently wrong with that, it does seem kind of odd, and it's off-putting to think that each chapter is so large that it has to be broken up into fractions in order to not daze the reader. It's just a quibble, really, and it isn't of any honest importance to the epic, but just stylistic preference; it tends to psyche me out subconsciously when a chapter is so large it has to be split into multiple posts.All in all, you have an epic that's still in its early stages, but as of right now, you have a series of incredibly high concept ideas that, if strung together, can produce a heck of a story, and I hope that you keep this idea going strong. It'd be a shame to end things just as The Plague was starting to appear again, and I'm curious as to how all the different subplots you've started out end up melding into one. Not to mention...Hewkii and Macku. I want to see it happen; don't let me down. -Teezy
He swiftly looked to the area into which one of the agori had been killed.
So that's it, huh? We're some kinda Iron-Blooded Orphans?
Posted Jan 02 2013 - 07:55 PM
Hey, thanks for the compliments mate, and I can't believe I totally forgot I even had this story on here. The whole "splitting chapters up" is because I have been writing this story on a separate forum, and am already at chapter 7, I will be posting them all on here in the coming days, 1 per day, and making them only one part, not split up, since I can copy paste them all together. And typos noted, will fix as I come across time to do so. Thanks(:
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