The Descent

[Simulacrum]

This is my first Bio story in a while, so it may be rather rusty.

The Descent

“Him the Almighty Power, Hurled headlong flaming from th' ethereal sky, With hideous ruin and combustion down, To bottomless perdition, there to dwell, In adamantine chains and penal fire, Who durst defy th' Omnipotent to arms.”-John Milton, Paradise Lost Guilt is a terrible thing, gnawing away at your mind from the dark corners within, driving you to madness with its mental agony.Thankful, the Makuta of Metru-Nui did not have it.Teridax had committed the ultimate sin -- Thinking of a way to destroy his leader, his god and guiding spirit, Mata-Nui.He felt no remorse over doing so; Indeed, he almost seemed to enjoy this act, a fatal one if discovered.It had all started with the crushing of Pridak and his pitiful allies. Their armies stood no chance against him and his brotherhood’s might, they were wiped from existence in a way similar to how a Kane-Ra would swat a fly. It was the idea of the Barraki that was so dangerous, so powerful and unstoppable. Pridak would have a been a martyr for that idea, had not the strange teleporting being appeared. Perhaps it is better this way, Teridax thought. Martyrs have a tendency to live forever; Rather ironic, considering their deceased state.Flexing his powerful, still-organic muscles, Teridax looked around the room he occupied, considering his options. If he devoted himself to this idea of usurping the Great Spirit, it would take a lifetime, if not longer. It was possible that his idea would have to be passed on, so that if - when would have a better word, traitors did not live long- his death occurred, the idea could still reach conclusion.He tried to reason with himself, thinking about how to forget the blasphemous idea, but it was parasitic, thriving in the back of his mind, refusing to die or be forgotten for more than moments. Every time the Makuta of Metru-Nui encountered a Matoran discussing the Spirit’s kindness, the Spirit’s wisdom, the Spirit’s awesome sense of justice, he found himself thinking of the nature of their worship, their mindless love for an intangible being far away, loosely ruling them. If this Mata-Nui was so kind, so divine, why did he not share his perfection with others? Why didn’t he allow the workers to have the amount of knowledge he possessed? Why would one so great refuse to share such a paradise of mind? One needed to rise up and defeat this spirit, so that something else, something that will rule with true justice, will take its place.And so the descent into dissension began. Makuta Teridax never seemed to change to those around him, but after that heretical night, he was transformed. His faith was lost, only ambition remaining in the writhing darkness that was once a soul.His actions are legendary; Usurping Misirex, forcing the Great Spirit into an endless sleep, having his plan of inhabitation of the Universe succeeded, briefly becoming the Great Spirit he loathed, and then meeting his death at the hands of the one he thought of as the great, unjust evil, the very thing he became.And now, as his body lies wasting away, the one known as Teridax continues to influence the anarchist beings, the beings Toa and Turaga tell stories off, describing them as soulless monsters, only with destruction and killing in mind. Teridax continues to be in their thoughts, a dark role model of conquest and power.The Makuta of Metru-Nui never knew what those small thoughts would cause, never knowing he would becoming a monster of darkness, obsessed with the idea he had, but forgetting the reason for his idea. The descent of Teridax is legendary, but the beginning of the fall, the reason for one to strive for ideals, who can claim knowledge or understanding of that?

[The Lord Of Wednesday]

This is the official SSCC review of The Descent by Lord Darkon (review by Proud Stigma).Well to get the spelling and grammar out of the way, you did a wonderful job avoiding spelling errors, and I did not have sentence flow problems when reading the story.Onto the story itself, it would seem you have (intentionally or not) based this story on the famous aphorism from Friedrich Nietzsche, for those reading this not aware of which one, it would be this."He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you."-Friedrich Nietzsche, Beyond Good and EvilI do like these sorts of angles on Teridax's character that you really only see in fan fiction because Bionicle employs Black and White morality and having a character be one-sidedly evil does get tedious in stories directed towards younger audiences.Anyway, it is also a characteristic of monsters to not be aware that they are monsters, not that Teridax was a saint, considering his rather...trivial method of ending the Matoran Civil War. But it explores the "he who fights monsters" theme even more, as a "monster" does not realistically see themselves as a "monster" most of the time. It is also not unheard of for them to start with intentions that at least to them seem noble or heroic, or even just "necessary" and they begin to tread the "monster" path after they take this view way too far.I liked the theme of this story, very nice. Thanks again for choosing the SSCC for your review and we hope you request our services again in the future.

[Simulacrum]

Thanks for the review! I've read the Nietzsche quote before, but never new of its origins. I'm glad you like the theme of the story so much, thanks for spending the time reviewing it.