Posted Sep 14 2012 - 10:40 PM
Thank you for the review!I've seen a lot of authors go through the reviewer's points and refute them, I think that's ridiculously rude; you took time to review for me, so I have no reason to complain.Indents is definitely a must, I will certainly add them in. I'm just trying to figure out how to do them.Brevity is probably my biggest weakness in writing; I wonder if this is a common trait in new writers. I think the easiest way to add length would probably be just to re-write the chapters, as things often feel mashed together if I try to add more detail in the middle.I need to focus more on the characters. I have planned out a lot of their backstory (as well as their fate's) so I'll try to improve on showing that to the reader. I feel my characters have the potential to be interesting, if I can just show who they are. (I find it's a lot harder (although it can be more fun too ) to work with canonical characters; perhaps I'll simply change that in my rewrite!) Spiriah is intentionally boring; that's who he is. (Which probably makes him a bad character and I'll probably remove him.)Yeah, the plot sort of drifted off as it went on and became pretty terrible. I think it'll have to be re-worked or possibly just completely replaced. Plot has never been my strong point, but I think I can do better.Spelling; need to install word processor. Still, had no idea it was that bad That's what you get for rushing writing.Thank you for the review! I can see I have a lot of work to do. I am going to get my thoughts sorted out about this one and then dive back into re-writing. I certainly need a better plan. Possibly I'll write out a story arc.I'll try my best to continue improving. I feel that I've done better than this and can do better, and more importantly, will do better! See you around!