Jump to content

  • Log in with Facebook Log in with Twitter Log In with Google      Sign In   
  • Create Account

Welcome to BZPower!

Hi there, while we hope you enjoy browsing through the site, there's a lot more you can do if you register. The process is easy and you can use your Google, Facebook, or Twitter account to make it even faster. Some perks of joining include:
  • Create your own topics, participate in existing discussions, and vote in polls
  • Show off your creations, stories, art, music, and movies and play member and staff-run games
  • Enter contests to win free LEGO sets and other prizes, and vote to decide the winners
  • Participate in raffles, including exclusive raffles for new members, and win free LEGO sets
  • Send private messages to other members
  • Organize with other members to attend or send your MOCs to LEGO fan events all over the world
  • Much, much more!
Enjoy your visit!


Photo

A trip into my imagination.


  • Please log in to reply
1 reply to this topic

#1 Offline Phovos

Phovos
  • Members
  • Mask of Time Discovered

  • 4,250 posts
  •  

Posted Sep 21 2012 - 05:46 AM

Before we begin, an explanation is deserved. I've pretty much moved away from the canon Bionicle storyline, but I still have a couple of canon characters within the universe in my head. The three characters that I really have kept are Lehvak-Kal, who managed to break into my universe after a Bohrok Scout ship crashed into his asteroid made of dead Tahnoks, and Tahnok-Kal and Turahk, who fought a extra-dimensional-portal-creating being who sent them to a new planet called Kolasi, which is a world within my imagination. Of course, they don't really understand emotion or stuff, so their travels are quite amusing.Anyway, hope you enjoy this short piece....Turahk grunted as he watched his best friend, Tahnok, sitting in the grass picking flowers. Neither Tahnok nor Turahk understood why other beings enjoyed picking flowers, or even if they did, but since Tahnok had seen those little creatures picking them up with their mouths earlier, he decided he wanted a go."Tahnok, I ssink sse osser creaturesss were not picking sse flowerz, I ssink ssey were eating ssem." Turahk still found talking difficult. His serpent-like head meant that every word came out as a hiss. He still envied Tahnok's ability to speak properly. But the more he thought about it, the more he realised that Rahkshi were not supposed to speak in the first place.The little Bohrok though simply ignored him. He may not have had a sense of taste, but his sense of smell was incredibly strong, and he was almost hypnotised by the sweet aroma of the little black and yellow flowers."Are you lisssstening, Tahnok?" Turahk hissed, becoming impatient. He was tempted to grab Tahnok and just carry him away. "Tahnok?"Finally, he responded. "Apologies, my friend. I was distracted by the scent of these flowers. But there also appears to be an underlying scent that I cannot recognise."Turahk tutted and got down on his knees, bringing himself down to Tahnok's level. Turahk was at least twice Tahnok's height, something that bothered Tahnok slightly. "What isss it?"Tahnok's eyes lit up, but the rest of him remained motionless. Apart from his eyes, Tahnok was incapable of doing facial expressions. "I believe it is oil. But not the oil that runs through us. Far less refined." He pointed at the grass ahead. Turahk hissed again, then got up to investigate. But after a few steps, Turahk appeared to trip and disappeared in the long grass."Ow.""Are you feeling well?" Tahnok scrambled through the grass to see if his friend was okay. But instead of hearing Turahk's growls, he heard a completely different voice."No, I bloody well am not! I just got stepped on!"The voice came from a small, yellow and black robot. It had four stubby, pointy legs that stuck out from the side like an insect, a short, equally stubby tail and a large head with two large black spikes coming out of it. It appeared to have four eyes, two on the front and one on each side, and on its back was a strange, spider-like emblem, with chevrons and a gear symbol beneath it."I ssstepped on you? You tripped me up!" Turahk growled at the robot, dusting himself down. "Hiding in the long grasssss, waiting for me!"The yellow robot shook its head as Tahnok appeared. "I didn't trip you! I was hiding from the big, half-robot animal thing! It tried to break me! It was big and it had a huge head with white fangs and a metal shield on its hands and head!" It glanced at Tahnok, then wished it hadn't. "I think that thing is a smaller version!""Excuse me, I do not understand..." Tahnok stared at the creature, unsure what to say or think. "What are you?"The robot glared at him. "What are YOU?"Turahk groaned, breaking the staring game between them. "That isss Tahnok. He'sss a Bohrok. I am Turahk. I am a Rahksssshi.""A what?"Tahnok leaped up to Turahk. "I do not think he understands what we are. We are clearly from different worlds." He then turned to face the robot. "We are from a place called Spherus Magna, and we mean no harm.""Oh... Never heard of it. I'm from Terha. We were made by men to fight each other. But then I had to fight my friends. They wanted one of us to die. So I died. Then I woke up here."Turahk looked blank, but Tahnok simply nodded."Did you underssstand that?" Turahk whispered."No, but I am being what the Matoran call 'polite'." Tahnok replied. "What is your name?""My official name is Panic Attack, but everyone called me C'Ttack for short."Tahnok did his best to smile. "Nice to meet you, C'Ttack, are you lost?"C'Ttack nodded. "Yeah. There are only scary monsters here.""We know sssomewhere where everyone doesssn't try to kill you... You want to come?""Sure!" C'Ttack bounced around, apparently quite happy. Turahk spun around and walked off, Tahnok and C'Ttack in tow. The sun started to set ahead of them, and the wind made a sweet, whistling sound as it blew through the grass.
  • 0

#2 Offline fishers64

fishers64
  • Premier Member
  • Premier Outstanding BZP Citizens
  • Kohrak-Kal Shattered

  • 4,722 posts
  •   Outstanding BZPower Citizen

Posted Oct 15 2012 - 09:04 AM

Not a bad story. Feels like an introduction to something more, however, as it left me with a good deal of questions.

Before we begin, an explanation is deserved. I've pretty much moved away from the canon Bionicle storyline, but I still have a couple of canon characters within the universe in my head. The three characters that I really have kept are Lehvak-Kal, who managed to break into my universe after a Bohrok Scout ship crashed into his asteroid made of dead Tahnoks, and Tahnok-Kal and Turahk, who fought a extra-dimensional-portal-creating being who sent them to a new planet called Kolasi, which is a world within my imagination. Of course, they don't really understand emotion or stuff, so their travels are quite amusing.

You really shouldn't have to explain your story...I don't think you need to explain it, as it stands well enough on it's own. You just need to write the sequel...or point me to it.

  • 0




0 user(s) are browsing this forum

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users