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The Hole in the Sky


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#1 Offline Danska: Shadow Master

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Posted Oct 04 2012 - 07:28 PM

This is my entry for the first Ambage Flash Fiction contest. Theme: The Red Star.

The Hole in the Sky

I, Tahu, stood side by side with Makuta Teridax, our powers working in tandem for the first time in recorded history. Toa of Magnetism, Iron and another Makuta had lifted the sheets of protodermis. Teridax employed his powers of gravity to keep us stable while a half dozen Toa of Air did their best to keep us breathing. I, with my fire powers, attempted to weld the sheets together. The sheer magnitude of the task we were undertaking was beyond our wildest imaginations. Almost every species from every land had contributed members to assist us.But would it be enough? We worked in rotating shifts, ensuring that the powers we needed were always present. The Nynrah had provided blueprints for powerful devices to aid us, which even now the Vortixx were producing at a breakneck rate. It was even rumoured Artakha himself had been seen. Such was the importance of our undertaking.I focused my powers into a narrow stream, trying desperately to fuse the metal before it was too late. We were all exhausted. Even Teridax seemed bowed by the constant effort needed to maintain the gravity field, but the work must continue. We would work until we could work no more, in honour of those who had already given their lives.It took all my willpower to complete the weld. My task complete, I staggered backwards and would have fallen, were it not for the Makuta’s stabilising grasp. Before I could say a word, in protest or otherwise, he had teleported me back to Karzhani so I could rest. I collapsed to the floor, mask buried in my hands. Through a tiny sliver of vision I saw Toa Norik and Makuta Icarax vanish. It was their turn now.“How does it go?” A familiar voice asked.“Slowly,” I replied gruffly.“You’ll manage. I know you will. Toa always do,” Vakama reassured me. This Matoran, a mask maker, was one of the few survivors of Metru Nui. He had lost everything. His friends, his work, his home, and yet he remained resolute that somehow, everything would work out. I wish I could share his optimism.They said it had been terrible. The ground shook and tore, rock and metal rained down from the sky and the whole world trembled as the cataclysm struck. For days, the sky of Metru Nui shone crimson. A huge object, larger than any structure known to Matoran kind, radiating heat and fire, had burst through the sky. Through the sky! The very idea was hard to comprehend. Those Matoran who had survived were evacuated, and Toa from across the universe were sent to investigate.Slowly, inch by inch, the structure began to move. We had hoped to find the sky once more. What we found instead was infinitely more terrible. An empty void of stars and blackness. A void that ate and ate, sucking in everything and everyone. That was when my team and I were awakened. They said we, and every being of power in this universe, was needed. And so it was that the reconstruction effort began.By the time we arrived the red structure was gone, leaving only the emptiness. What remained of Metru Nui was itself becoming part of the nothing, devoid of air or light or substance. We tried everything to restore the air, the gravity, to seal the hole with anything and everything we had. There were deaths by the score. Members of my own team, Kopaka and Onua, were among those who gave their lives for the universe.It looked hopeless, until the day the lightstones went out. In every land, they simply stopped. And the void, it too stopped. A shimmering layer of energy lay between us and the stars. We could move and work and fortify. We could begin to rebuild, and to repair the hole in the sky.It did not last long, but it was enough. The void began to eat once more, but we have a foothold and a chance. Piece by piece, we begin to patch the sky with stone and metal, ice and glass, whatever we can use. It is slow, agonising work, but while there is life there is hope.Something worries the Makuta. Something beyond the hole. They talk in secret and seem scared of something...greater. I heard a whisper that the Great Spirit himself is dead, but I do not believe it. I only hope that, whatever it is, they have a plan.I, though I fear we fight a losing battle, shall believe in the faith of one small Matoran. As long as he believes we shall survive, then so shall I. It is my duty as a Toa. We shall repair the sky, and he shall live as he was meant to; in peace and safety. This, I swear.Word Count: 804

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#2 Offline fishers64

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Posted Oct 29 2012 - 07:21 AM

It's a very interesting idea...the Red Star crashing into Metru Nui...and you developed it well, telling it through the eyes of Tahu's perspective and letting us fill in the gaps. I definitely liked the connection between Vakama and Tahu here. Reminds me of 2001 story.One thing that caught my eye:

It looked hopeless, until the day the lightstones went out. In every land, they simply stopped. And the void, it too stopped. A shimmering layer of energy lay between us and the stars. We could move and work and fortify. We could begin to rebuild, and to repair the hole in the sky.

There are generators in the MU that generated a forcefield that big using power normally used for lighting? If it was an automatic defense system, I doubt it would activate that late. Also, a lack of it would probably suck everything out to space and freeze any being in the city, including the repair crews. Probably also cause the universe to warp and fold on itself as the interior was sucked into the vaccum. So that's a little hard to suspend disbelief on.

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#3 Offline Dual Cee

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Posted Oct 29 2012 - 09:40 AM

Great storyOne question: Is Mata Nui dead?
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#4 Offline Danska: Shadow Master

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Posted Oct 29 2012 - 04:14 PM

It's a very interesting idea...the Red Star crashing into Metru Nui...and you developed it well, telling it through the eyes of Tahu's perspective and letting us fill in the gaps. I definitely liked the connection between Vakama and Tahu here. Reminds me of 2001 story.One thing that caught my eye:

It looked hopeless, until the day the lightstones went out. In every land, they simply stopped. And the void, it too stopped. A shimmering layer of energy lay between us and the stars. We could move and work and fortify. We could begin to rebuild, and to repair the hole in the sky.

There are generators in the MU that generated a forcefield that big using power normally used for lighting? If it was an automatic defense system, I doubt it would activate that late. Also, a lack of it would probably suck everything out to space and freeze any being in the city, including the repair crews. Probably also cause the universe to warp and fold on itself as the interior was sucked into the vaccum. So that's a little hard to suspend disbelief on.

I have a few ideas about exactly why that happened, which I deliberately didn't expand on in order to make the story fit with the perspective of the character (and it's fun to leave a few mysteries). It might have been an automatic system in case of damage to Mata Nui's outer form that simply kicked in late due to the sheer amount of damage that was done to what is essentially his brain, it may have been something Mata Nui did consciously either as a last-ditch effort (if he was dying - he's certainly unlikely to be in good shape) or simply once he'd regained his senses from having a massive rock crash into his head. Or, possibly, someone else found a way to do it. The Brotherhood, Artakha, The Order, maybe all three. Or someone else. I think I've either thought about this too much or not enough...anyway, I'm working on the basic assumption that in the Bionicle universe, creating a big forcefield is a perfectly attainable goal (if difficult under the circumstances).As for the space thing, I admit I didn't do my homework on exactly how horrifying and deadly space can be. Am I allowed to use the 'Bionicle physics work differently' argument? :P

One question: Is Mata Nui dead?

Well, he's definitely not in a good way, but not quite dead yet I don't think. If he is, then all the work they're doing is rendered meaningless which makes for a very depressing story. Then again, not all stories have happy endings.Thanks for reading guys!

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#5 Offline Dual Cee

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Posted Oct 29 2012 - 04:22 PM

Are you continuing the story?
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