Edited by Quote (Mr. Traveler), Oct 07 2012 - 10:28 AM.
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Posted Oct 07 2012 - 10:26 AM
Posted Oct 11 2012 - 09:31 PM
Sincerely, Nuile: Lunatic Wordsmith
Edited by My Name is Nuile, Oct 12 2012 - 07:09 PM.
When I know I can't live without a pen and paper, when I know writing is as necessary to me as breathing . . .
I know I am ready to start my voyage.
Posted Oct 26 2012 - 09:18 PM
There should be a question mark at the end of the periods. It's kind of a nitpick/suggestion more than an actual problem with the writing, but I just think that since it's a question or request, it'd make sense to put a question mark here. =)For the most part, Grant, this is a wonderfully tender, sweet, and touching story. Your descriptions are remarkable (as always), your overall writing style pleasant, and your plot and characters are excellent. Thank you for the enthralling, terrific read - keep up the good work, I will be looking forward to your next story. =]
“Would you mind grabbing me something…”
And with glasses high / We raised a cry / For freedom had arrived
On the day the wall came down / The ship of fools had finally run aground
Promises lit up the night / Like paper doves in flight
I dreamed you had left my side / No warmth, not even pride remained
And even though you needed me / It was clear that I could not do a thing for you
Now life devalues day by day / As friends and neighbors turn away
And there's a change that even with regret / Cannot be undone
Now frontiers shift like desert sands / While nations wash their bloodied hands
Of loyalty, of history / In shades of grey
I woke to the sound of drums / The music played, the morning sun streamed in
I turned and I looked at you / And all but the bitter residues slipped away
Posted Nov 10 2012 - 12:21 AM
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