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Crimson Note

flash fiction

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#1 Offline dotcom

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Posted Oct 08 2012 - 12:36 AM

Crimson Note

In his dreams, he was the star.And it, in turn, was him.***

He had no name but a stage name. He had no life but a stage life. He faced his future brimming with ideas, knowing he was loved, knowing that he loved. He was but a Toa, living his life on the run. Touring the universe, meeting new people, captivating the audiences of the world and the hearts of many.The Crimson Note was a star.He now faced a crowd of hundreds. The Toa of Fire stood alone, his voice, amplified through Xian technology, blasting the mass of Toa and Matoran before him. He closed his eyes, for he was doing what he loved. He opened his heart, for what he sang was true and nuanced. He passionately struck the cords of his guitar, letting the audience know that he cared. This was not a performance. At the moment, and as far as he was aware, this was the performance of his life.The audience quietly cheered and danced in place. They never took their eyes off him. They never turned, or stopped paying attention. They could feel his emotion, and paid attention to it.He sang of past victories, as a Toa fighting a war. He sang of terrible loss, as a lone warrior facing monsters and masters of shadow. He sang of hope, and he sang of virtue. He sang of despair, and he sang of cruelty. Everything he felt and everything he was was laid out for everyone to see.The Crimson Note was not only a star, but a superstar.After the show, he went, quietly and alone, to a small bar in the nearby village he had called a home for several weeks. He came here often enough, and when he arrived, a crowd had already formed. He sat at a reserved table, amiably dodging Le-Toa groupies and avoiding the hateful stares of a De-Toa band. The three Toa of Sonics often blamed "talentless posers" like him for ruining modern Matoran music. This night, they sat by, watching his admirers and quietly wishing painful murder on the spotlight-hog they perceived him to be.He sat alone, sipping slowly from his drink. He always took a downtime after a performance. He sat now and thanked Mata Nui for his success. He silently thanked his fans, for allowing him to grow. He wondered where he would go next, how far he would go, and who he would meet."Are you joking? We are no friends of hoaxes like him, you ignorant Piraka-spawn!"His thinking was interrupted by one of the Toa of Sonics, the largest and nastiest of them all, screaming at a Ga-Matoran fan. The three De-Toa despised being associated with him. Often, fans of the Crimson Note would approach them, hoping to get closer to their icon. And today, with the crowd larger than it had ever been, the they were particularly volatile.The Toa that had screamed backed his voice with his sonic powers, knocking the unprepared Matoran across the room. She hit a wall and lay still.The crowd quieted in an instant. Some Toa ran to the wounded villager. They exclaimed that she was still alive, but hurt. As one, they all turned to the Toa that had screamed. After a pause, they all began to yell at them. Incoherently, they called them would-be murderers, Skakdi spawn, and so much worse.The Crimson Note stood up, hoping to prevent an all-out riot in the building. He was about to exclaim for everyone to calm down, to realize that what had happened been an accident, when the situation spiraled out of his control.The three Toa of Sonics began blasting at the crowd, sending several crashing back into tables and other patrons. Some of the Toa in the crowd began to return the attack, peppering them with small elemental bursts.The scene was chaos, and he didn't know what to do. Quickly, he brought up a wall of flame between the band and his furious fans."Everyone calm down! We're all brothers! We shouldn't be--"His plea for help was cut short by a brutal sound blast from one of the Toa of Sonics, who did not think much of camaraderie at the moment. His fans, already angry, became outraged when their idol was thrown across the floor, groaning with pain. The scene degraded into a crazed brawl.Standing as fast as he could, the Crimson Note ran towards the fighting Toa, trying to break up the fights. There was nothing in his mind but helping his Toa brothers. All of them had to stop before something terrible happened.And just as he reached one of the Toa of Sonics, he saw, out of the corner of his eye, a small dagger.It was only an accident.And at that moment, the red star went out.And then, in the room, there was silence.

***And in his dreams, he was the star.For now, dreams were all he was.

Well.This was a very liberal interpretation of the "Red Star" theme.That's all I really have to say about this story.

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#2 Offline fishers64

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Posted Oct 15 2012 - 09:27 AM

There is something to be said for bad puns being developed into stories. :P This one, especially so - right down to the De-Matoran enemies and the brawl of angry fans. You've put a lot of effort into the details here, and for that, I commend you.

He was but a Toa, living his life on the run.

Out of mere curiosity, did you intend for this story to take place during Teridax's reign?

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#3 Offline Grantaire

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Posted Nov 26 2012 - 10:34 AM

This is my attempt to read and review a story in three minutes.The writing of this was excellent, although it sounded almost too our worldish (probably the guitar). Nonetheless, in the bar scene you captured the feel of confusion very well. I kinda have to sadface because of how you portrayed De-Toa, but that's only because they're my favorite element. :P
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