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The Nuva Inn

The Nuva Inn Toa Nuva Lewa0111 Remake Tava

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90 replies to this topic

#41 Offline Darth Jaller

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Posted Nov 02 2011 - 03:07 PM

Too much good stuff to even try quoting, but this comedy is indeed awesome. Especially love the Takanuva/Kopaka dynamic going on here, as always, and Krekka's pretty funny in here, too.
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#42 Offline Toa Kapurkar--Rail Blazer

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Posted Nov 02 2011 - 09:19 PM

That is a lot of words. In fact, that's more than the word limit I had for a school assignment--write a short story in 1100 words.So, Vahki beat Bohrok. Pretty dull ending though. Wait--oh, now I get that joke. :smile: :)
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#43 Offline Lewa0111 Nuva

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Posted Nov 06 2011 - 10:20 PM

Thanks for the replies, guys! Sorry about the long hiatus, check out my blog for more information, but long story short I had no access to either reliable internet or time in which to post a new chapter of anything. But here it is, The Nuva Inn, back with another chapter remake!

 

The Nuva Inn

A BIONICLE comedy by Me!

Chapter 15: The Special Edition School's Out Chapter OR Randomly Random Randomness

 

Onua: How can there be a Special Edition School's Out Chapter? We don't even go to school!

 

Narrator: I can change that, if you don't stop complaining...

 

Onua: Ha! I'd like to see you try!

 

Narrator: Ever heard of Lewa0111's School of Comedy?

 

Onua: ...Never mind.

 

Narrator: And it's school's out for Lewa0111, not for the characters, obviously!

 

Onua: But it's the middle of November!

 

Narrator: Well, it was the beginning of June when Lewa0111 wrote this chapter in the original topic.

 

Onua: This remake thing is really confusing me.

 

Narrator: For your information, you aren't supposed to remember that this is a remake! MIND WIPE!

 

Onua: ...Where am I?

 

Narrator: Someplace random. By the way, this chapter will feature the following changes owing to it being a Special Edition School's Out Chapter: the color purple, random emoticons, and the return of the Giant Inflatable Monkey.

 

GIF: Yay! I'm back!

 

Narrator: Not yet! Let's just start the chapter already. The Toa Nuva are in their hotel.

 

Onua: Duh.

 

:smiletahunu:: Yippee! BURN STUFF!

 

* :smiletahunu: sets the kitchen on fire*

 

:smilegalinu:: Not the kitchen again! Takanuva! Rebuild the kitchen now!

 

Takanuva: No.

 

Kopaka: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!! 

 

:smilegalinu:: Fine, I guess we'll just have a pile of ashes for a kitchen.

 

Lewa: Wait a second, how come you two have emoticons in your names?

 

:smiletahunu: & :smilegalinu:: No idea...

 

Lewa: Stop it, Narrator!

 

Narrator: Fine.

 

Tahu: Phew.

 

Gali: We aren't emoticons anymore! Awesome!

 

:smilekopakanu:: Neither am I!

 

Takanuva: No.

 

Kopaka: Purple AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!

 

Onua: Umm, is there even a point to this chapter?

 

Narrator: Isn't it obvious? Of course not!

 

*BEC comes running in*

 

BEC: Hey! Who took all my sugar?

 

Onua: Actually, the FDA showed up and confiscated it due to your hyperness being a threat to national security.

 

BEC: Yeah right!

 

Pohatu: It's true, believe it or not.

 

Fred: Why are some of you talking in purple?

 

Pohatu: I don't know.

 

Tava: PIE!!

 

Lewa: Shut up.

 

Tava: :quietpie:

 

Fred: That's not even a real emoticon!

 

Tava: :pieinface:

 

Fred: Neither is that!

 

Tava: PIE!!

 

*Tava cooks a pie in a few seconds*

 

Tava: I just made a Giant Inflatable Banana pie!

 

*The Giant Inflatable Monkey comes in*

 

GIF: BANANA!!

 

Tava: PIE!!

 

GIF: BANANA!!

 

Tava: PIE!!

 

GIF: BANANA!!

 

Tava: PIE!!

 

GIF: BANANA!!

 

Tava: PIE!!

 

GIF: BANANA!!

 

Tava: PIE!!

 

GIF: BANANA!!

 

Tava: PIE!!

 

GIF: BANANA!!

 

Tava: PIE!!

 

GIF: BANANA!!

 

Tava: PIE!!

 

GIF: BANANA!!

 

Tava: PIE!!

 

GIF: BANANA!!

 

Tava: PIE!!

 

Lewa: This'll take all day.

 

Kopaka: :usa:

 

Fred: Are things always this random?

 

BEC: Not usually, this is a record even by our standards.

 

*Zaktan appears*

 

Zaktan: :trashcan:

 

Fred: What is it with this chapter and fake emoticons!?!?!?!?!?

 

Pohatu: By the way, I--

 

Tahu: :runningjokeinterrupting:

 

Fred: *purple sigh*

 

GIF: Whee! :giantinflatablebanana:

 

Fred: Oh, just forget it.

 

Onua: Hey, why is your name abbreviated GIF? What does that even stand for?

 

BEC: Giant Inflatable Fear Emoticon!

 

Onua: There's no E.

 

Takanuva: No.

 

Kopaka: AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!

 

Lewa: Can we just end this chapter already?

 

Narrator: Why? This is so much fun!

 

Lewa: No.

 

Kopaka: AAAAAAAAAAAA--oh, sorry, I thought you were :smiletol: .

 

Takanuva: This is just getting ridiculous.

 

Tahu: Why haven't I been in this chapter much? PURPLE RANDOMNESS!

 

BEC: I'm leaving now, be back later!

 

Gali: Time to party!

 

*Gali starts her Literally Instant Party Mix*

 

Takanuva: Let's build stuff!

 

Lewa: No, me!

 

*Lewa whistles for his monkey construction crew and has them build a giant tower made of tubas*

 

Takanuva: :afro:

 

Lewa: Can-can come on do the can-can come on if you can-can come on if you can!

 

*Lewa leads the rest of the Toa in doing the Can-Can completely randomly*

 

Tava: BOO! Pie in the face!

 

*Tava pies everyone in the face*

 

GIM: BANANA!

 

Tava: PIE!!

 

Lewa: Okay, enough of these pointless arguments.

 

Kopaka: :silver:

 

Pohatu: Hey, can we seriously end this chapter?

 

Narrator: No! I'm having too much fun!

 

Lewa: Plus, this chapter is way too short.

 

Kopaka: No.

 

Takanuva: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

 

Kopaka: Wow, that was immensely satisfying!

 

Gali: Bye! *leaves*

 

Zaktan: Trash can time!

 

*Zaktan dumps trash cans on everyone*

 

*BEC rushes in while eating a huge bag of sugar*

 

BEC: YayIwenttotheFDAofficesandgotallmysugarbacknowI'mhyperyayayayayayayay!

 

Fred: Oh, please.

 

Cacnea: LOALAOAEWRHJDDAJDDJRMN!

 

Lewa: Wow, that was random.

 

Narrator: That wasn't random, THIS--

 

Onua: Don't you start.

 

Narrator: RANDOMRANDOMNRADOMSAEIJUWAOIJRGT!

 

Kopaka: :usa:

 

:usa: Crab: Hey! My emoticon!

 

Ponaktauva: What?

 

Takanuva: Hey!

 

GIM: Hay is for horses!

 

Tava: Pie is for horses!

 

GIM: Pie is for Tavas!

 

Tava: Can't argue with that!

 

*Tava eats five hundred pies at once*

 

Onua: This is utterly moronic.

 

Krekka: Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh...

 

Onua: Not you! Narrator, please, just end this already!

 

Narrator: I'm not ending this chapter ever!

 

Lewa0111: Narrator, enough. I outrank you.

 

Narrator: But I--

 

THE END

 

Onua: For the love of Mata Nui, that was weird...even for The Nuva Inn.

 

Narrator: I'm annoyed, I wanted this chapter to keep going! I love excessive randomness!

 

Onua: I don't.

 

Bob the Word Counting Matoran: This chapter has only 824 words, unfortunately.

 

Onua: Don't you mean fortunately?

 

Bob the Word Counting Matoran: Make that 832 words.

 

~Lewa# Studios

 

:mirunu: Lewa0111 Nuva :mirunu:


Edited by Lewa0111 Nuva, Jun 28 2014 - 05:33 AM.

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My Script Comedies: | The Nuva Inn Remake | Ask Matau! Remake (ACCEPTING QUESTIONS!) |
My Prose Comedies: | The BZ-Nui Hack Wars | Mata Nova |

 

“MATAU! Did you replace those candies with chocolate-covered Madu?”

 

“Maybe…”

 

--Turaga Nokama and Turaga Matau, Why Toa Shouldn't Trick Or Treat

ANNOUNCEMENT: The Lewa# Studios Holiday Series kicks off again with Why Toa Shouldn't Trick Or Treat!


#44 Offline Field Marshal Rakmon

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Posted Nov 06 2011 - 10:28 PM

The best part is how you still have a banned member GSing in your comedy, even in the special edition school's out remake.
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#45 Offline Elrond of Rivendell

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Posted Nov 07 2011 - 02:20 PM

So..dizzy.......from.........randomness...........I couldn't tell anything different from the original chapter!?!?!?Pohatu:Hey! don't you like-Bane: Don't use that joke!Pohatu: http://www.bzpower.c...tyle_emoticons/default/confusedw.gif-The Bane!!!!!!
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#46 Offline Lewa0111 Nuva

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Posted Nov 09 2011 - 11:31 PM

@Rocka: Well, the beginning conversation with Onua was new. And I ended up extending the chapter at the end because the original was so short it was barely over the limit...but other than that, yes, it was pretty much the same. It's really hard to improve the quality of a chapter that's supposed to be completely nonsensical randomness!

 

The Nuva Inn

A BIONICLE comedy by Me!

Chapter 16 (Part 1 of 5): A Villain Invasion OR The...Rahkshi Inn?

 

Onua: A villain invasion? Come on, Narrator, that's the worst idea ever!

 

Narrator: You say that about all of my ideas.

 

Onua: No I don't!

 

Narrator: Oh, yes you do!

 

Onua: Still, villains attacking is always a bad idea.

 

Narrator: Come on, it adds a plot to this comedy at least, which is more than any of the last fifteen chapters had...

 

Onua: *shrugs* I can't argue with that.

 

Narrator: Ha! Finally, you agree with me!

 

Onua: That's the last time you'll ever hear me say that.

 

Narrator: Fine. Today, we join the Toa Nuva in the lobby as Lewa has just come down to inspect the kitchen...or what's left of it.

 

Lewa: Again, Tahu?

 

Tava: I tried to stop him! I even pied him in the face with a Water Pie!

 

Tahu: But this time I wasn't even angry! I just dropped my firesword for one minute...and, well...

 

Gali: Face it, Lewa, he's just a walking fire hazard.

 

Tahu: Thanks! :D

 

Gali: That wasn't a compliment.

 

Tahu: What!?!?!?!? >:(

 

Pohatu: By the way, I love exclamation points and question--

 

Lewa: Old joke, way too early in the chapter, not funny.

 

Pohatu: :(

 

Tahu: GALI, DID YOU JUST INSULT ME? THAT DOES IT, I AM GOING TO BURN THIS HOTEL DOWN AND--

 

Gali: :rolleyes: He'll never learn.

 

*Gali drenches Tahu with water*

 

Tahu: :dazed:

 

Onua: Hey, you guys, you'll use up all of the emoticons for this chapter if you keep going like that!

 

Everyone Else: :blink:

 

Onua: Oh, come on! Doesn't anybody ever listen to me?

 

Everyone Else: :afro:

 

Onua: *sighs* It's hopeless.

 

Everyone Else: B-)

 

*Suddenly, the Toa Nuva hear a loud crash*

 

Lewa: Suddenly I just heard a loud crash!

 

*I feel so useless around here sometimes...*

 

BEC: Who cares about loud crashes? I hear sugar! Let's go!

 

Onua: Huh, how can someone hear sugar?

 

Lewa: Probably the same way we can apparently hear pie and light.

 

Pohatu: Hey, I remember that! Hearing pie and light was fun!

 

Kopaka: Wasn't that when Takanuva got beat up by Gali? I agree, that was awesome.

 

Takanuva: No.

 

Kopaka: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!

 

Tava: PIE!!

 

Gali: Can we stop discussing old chapters and just get out there and investigate?

 

*Gali goes to open the front door, but before she can do so, Turahk kicks down the door and walks in, followed by the other five Rahkshi, all making hissing noises*

 

Narrator: Hey, what's going on here? That wasn't in the script! :lookhere:

 

Onua: Yes it was, you're the one who wrote the title, after all...

 

Narrator: I keep telling you, that's not my department! Title Writing Guy, get in here!

 

Title Writing Guy (TWG): What?

 

Narrator: What's up with that title? Why are villains attacking the Inn?

 

TWG: I just write the titles. Lewa0111's the guy who comes up with them.

 

Narrator: Oh. LEWA0111!!

 

Lewa0111: What?

 

Narrator: Why are Rahkshi attacking the Inn?

 

Lewa0111: I thought it would help the comedy by giving it a plot. Besides, if anything goes too badly, we can always fix it with author powers.

 

Turahk: Die, pitiful Toa!

 

*Turahk and co. start completely trashing the lobby*

 

CWG: I'll fix this!

 

*The Rahkshi disappear*

 

Lewa0111: Uh-oh. They're still here!

 

Lerahk: It's no use! We're immune to all forms of author powers, including authors, Narrators, and Caption Writing Guys! Nothing you can do will stop us!

 

Lewa0111, TWG, Narrator, and CWG: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

 

Turahk: And now, we shall take over this hotel!

 

Tahu: Oh, no you don't! BURN STUFF!!

 

*Tahu sets the entire inn on fire, engulfing the lobby in a gigantic ball of flame. Somehow, unfortunately, the Rahkshi are randomly unhurt.*

 

Gali: Great, now you just made the problem worse.

 

Tahu: :lookaround:

 

Lehrak: This place needs remodeling. There's too much clutter...I know! Let's get rid of these stupid protagonists!

 

*Tava pies Lehrak in the face*

 

Lehrak: Who are you?

 

Tava: I'm Tava, a Pi-Matoran! Don't you dare hurt my pies!

 

Lehrak: You're just a Matoran! Fear my poison!

 

Tava: You're just a Rahkshi! Fear my pie!

 

Lehrak: Hey, stop mocking my poison-ness!

 

Tava: Hey, stop mocking my pie-ness!

 

Lehrak: This isn't funny, eat poison!

 

Tava: This isn't funny, eat pie!

 

*Lehrak tries to zap Tava with poison, but Tava jumps up and shoves a pie into Lehrak's mouth, stopping him*

 

Lehrak: Mmmmmmmph!

 

*Lehrak spits out the pie*

 

Lehrak: That does it, Matoran!

 

*Lehrak picks up Tava and throws him out the window*

 

Tava: PPPPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...

 

BEC: HeywhoawhatareallthoseRahkshidoinghere? Inevercheckedthempastthefrontdesk! I'mthefrontdeskypersonsotheyhavetocheckinwithmefirst!

 

Panrahk: Oh, shut up, you overly hyper Matoran!

 

*Panrahk smacks BEC with his staff*

 

BEC: Darn it, you knocked all the hyper right out of me!

 

Lewa: :blink: That's even possible?

 

Turahk: Enough of this, just step aside and give us our hotel!

 

Lewa: No way!

 

Fred: Just leave us alone, brothers!

 

Everyone Else: You know them!?!?!?!?!?

 

Pohatu: By the way, I love exclamation points and question--

 

Everyone but Pohatu: ENOUGH WITH THAT JOKE!!

 

Turahk: Of course we know him. He's that good-for-nothing kraata brother of ours who got himself stuck in a pet store way back when. That stupid moron could never be as awesome as us Rahkshi! He means absolutely nothing to me and is completely worthless! Fred, why don't you join us, your fellow kraata/Rahkshi, and leave these Toa behind?

 

Guurahk: :facepalm:

 

Fred: Actually, I was considering it...before you insulted me like six times just now. No way!

 

Turahk: Oh...whoops!

 

Guurahk: Tuurahk, you moron.

 

Fred: Turahk, face my plant-control powers!

 

*Fred grows a huge tree to impale Tuurahk on the ceiling, but since Tahu already burned it down, Tuurahk is unhurt*

 

Fred: :fear:

 

Lehrak: Ha! You will never defeat us! You had better leave this hotel right now, because it's officially ours from now on!

 

Lewa: Or what?

 

Lehrak: We'll...umm...do stuff! Yeah! We'll do stuff! So get out!

 

Takanuva: No.

 

Kopaka: AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!

 

Kurahk: You asked for this.

 

*Kurahk blasts Kopaka and Takanuva out the window with his staff*

 

Onua: You'll pay for that, Kurahk!

 

*Onua runs toward Kurahk to attack, but Panrahk grabs him and holds him hostage*

 

Panrahk: I'm grabbing Onua and holding him hostage!

 

*What did I say about feeling useless?*

 

Turahk: Nice job, Panrahk. As for the rest of you Toa, leave this building now or we'll release Onua!

 

*Lehrak whispers something into Turahk's ear*

 

Turahk: Oh, whoops. I meant, "leave this building now and we'll release Onua."

 

Gali: Well, which is it? That seems like a pretty crucial conjunction.

 

Turahk: Enough with the lame movie references! Just leave!

 

Lewa: Looks like we have no choice. Let's go, everyone.

 

Gali: Really? You're accepting their offer?

 

Lewa: I have to. Onua still has a W20 bill in his pocket that I lent him earlier!

 

Gali: *sighs* Figures.

 

*All of the Toa Nuva (except Pohatu), BEC, and Fred leave the inn*

 

Pohatu: Okay, now release Onua.

 

Kurahk: Fine.

 

*Kurahk releases Onua, who runs away somewhere*

 

Pohatu: Now can I go?

 

Turahk: I have a better idea. Let's kick a random Toa for fun!

 

*All the Rahkshi start randomly kicking Pohatu*

 

Pohatu: Ouch! Hey! What was that for? Yowch! Ow! This hurts! Oww! Not the mask! Ouch! That's it, I'm out of here! Oww!

 

*Pohatu runs off to join the others*

 

Turahk: That was fun!

 

Lehrak: Finally, we have the hotel to ourselves! Now let's change the sign! Takanuvarahk, would you do that for me, please? Oh, and rebuild this hotel while you're at it since Tahu burned it down.

 

Takanuvarahk: YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSS!!

 

Kurahk: Ha.

 

*Takanuvarahk blasts the hotel with his staff, rebuilding it instantly and changing the sign:*

 

The Nuva RAHKSHI Inn*

 

Outside, with the Toa, in some random location...*

 

Tahu: We're doomed. I hate Rahkshi.

 

Lewa: :OMG: They changed the sign?

 

Lewa0111: My comedy has gotten out of my hands.

 

*Great Author Beings have hands?*

 

Lewa0111: Oh, shut up, it's a figure of speech, okay?

 

*Somewhere else entirely...*

 

???: I knew that it would come to this. The Rahkshi must be stopped, and by the power that is mine, I swear, I will stop them! ...Just as soon as I finish my favorite TV show.

 

THE END

 

TWG: What have I unleashed?

 

Lewa0111: It's not your fault. If anything, it's my fault, since I thought introducing a villain would be a good idea. How was I supposed to know they were immune to author powers?

 

BEC: Actually, it's the Narrator's fault! He got my sugar captured by those Rahkshi! He'll pay for this!

 

Narrator: Don't worry, BEC, I have a small part of your secret sugar stash safe right here. Here you go!

 

*Narrator drops a box of sugar the size of a house onto Pohatu*

 

BEC: Yaymysugar'sback! NowIcanbehyper! I'mnotmadanymoreNarratorbutIdowanttobeatthoseRahkshi!

 

Lewa0111: Just wait until the next chapter.

 

Onua: What is it with authors and putting cliffhangers at the end of chapters? Does anyone know?

 

Lewa0111: I can explain it. Actually, the reason we put cliffhangers at the end of chapters is to--

 

~Lewa# Studios

 

Bob the Word Counting Matoran: This chapter has 1,485 words.

 

:mirunu: Lewa0111 Nuva :mirunu:

 

Onua: OH, COME ON!


Edited by Lewa0111 Nuva, Jun 28 2014 - 05:50 AM.

  • 0

My Script Comedies: | The Nuva Inn Remake | Ask Matau! Remake (ACCEPTING QUESTIONS!) |
My Prose Comedies: | The BZ-Nui Hack Wars | Mata Nova |

 

“MATAU! Did you replace those candies with chocolate-covered Madu?”

 

“Maybe…”

 

--Turaga Nokama and Turaga Matau, Why Toa Shouldn't Trick Or Treat

ANNOUNCEMENT: The Lewa# Studios Holiday Series kicks off again with Why Toa Shouldn't Trick Or Treat!


#47 Offline Lewa0111 Nuva

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Posted Nov 16 2011 - 06:15 PM

Huh, no replies at all? That's odd. Oh well, time for the next chapter anyway!

 

The RAHKSHI Inn

A BIONICLE comedy by Me!

Chapter 17 (Part 2 of 5): Lewa's Plan OR The Rahkshi Have Problems

 

Vorahk: Hey, what do you mean, we have problems? We do not have problems!

 

Narrator: Not you, too!

 

Vorahk: Just answer my question, you stupid narrator!

 

Narrator: Sheesh, no need to get so bent out of shape about it. It's just the title.

 

Vorahk: Well, I hate it. Change it now!

 

Narrator: Can't, that's the Title Writing Guy's department.

 

Vorahk: Fine, I'll just go and have a word with him later. Start the chapter already!

 

Narrator: We join the Toa Nuva--

 

Vorahk: Hey! We're Rahkshi!

 

Narrator: We join the Rahkshi as they--

 

Vorahk: Rahkshi Nuva to you!

 

Narrator: Huh? You're not even Toa!

 

Vorahk: Yes we are!

 

Turahk: Vorahk, stop being a moron. We're not Toa! By the way, who is this?

 

Narrator: I'm the Narrator, of course!

 

Turahk: I don't like you. You're fired!

 

Narrator: Oh, come on! That's the second time in one comedy! Unfair!

 

Turahk: Just get out of here.

 

Narrator: Fine. I'll go and live with the Nuva now, I guess...

 

*The Narrator leaves*

 

Turahk: Good riddance.

 

laiwhetliauhwliutjelisgoilsejghlxgidujtrlse.u5tyil589pse4liytliae5l.yshg,saielh

 

Guurahk: Now what's going on?

 

iuewalrijugtoise4up98utsouutlegjlisuek,xukisokti45euydoiue;uerohdliuhliu

 

Panrahk: Umm...randomness? This is a comedy, after all.

 

aijwerloiut;ojaoi84eupotu7s98eu;ijpo98s4euo5yiu05wupoisyjosreu5op86709475087

 

Vorahk: Or maybe, without a narrator, this gibberish happens.

 

Takanuvarahk: YYYYEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS!!

 

Kurahk: Ha.

 

alksuhdfoiauhweoiuhtoiareugpoiway9485yeoiuytoiweurslihgisurhglieliug

 

Turahk: Okay, this is getting annoying. New narrator time!

 

*A large, floating disembodied Rahkshi head floats into the inn*

 

Lerahk: Who are you?

 

Narratorrahk: I'm Narratorrahk! I'll be your new narrator.

 

Turahk: Wow. That was quick.

 

Narratorrahk: Well, now that I'm here, I might as well start the chapter. We join the Rahkshi in their newly captured hotel.

 

Guurahk: That has got to be the longest intro in the comedy yet.

 

Kurahk: No kidding.

 

*Several Kraata slither into the hotel lobby*

 

Random Kraata #35: Hi, I'd like a room for five slugs, please.

 

BECrahk: Great, we finally have some guests. That'll be W2938485, please.

 

Random Kraata #35: I have some widgets right here...wait, how am I supposed to get it? I don't have hands!

 

Random Kraata #2: I'll help! My power is Levitating Widgets To Front Desks Of Hotels!

 

BECrahk: :blink: Weird power.

 

Turahk: Just who are you, anyway?

 

BECrahk: Who, me? I'm the Rahkshi answer to BEC, of course! I work the front desk and I absolutely hate sugar!

 

*Another Rahkshi runs past*

 

Rahkshi: ANTI-PIE!! AND ANTI-PI!!

 

BECrahk: And that would be Tavarahk.

 

Turahk: Since when did we have a Tavarahk and BECrahk in our group?

 

BECrahk: No idea. We just showed up. I guess we need to have Rahkshi versions of original characters as well.

 

Turahk: Makes sense, I suppose. But why do you have a Matoran on your shoulder?

 

Ahkmou: (sitting on BECrahk's shoulder) I'm on your side! I want to help take over the hotel!

 

Lerahki: Too late, Ahkmou, we already did. But you can stay as our answer to Fred.

 

*All the other Rahkshi stare at him*

 

Lerahki: What are you looking at?

 

Turahk: You have something on your name.

 

Lerahki: Huh? Hey!! What's this extra 'i' doing there?

 

Random Kraata #592 (Power: Letter Control): :rolleyes: No idea...

 

BECrahk: Here, I'll get that 'i' off for you.

 

*BECrahk somehow pulls the 'i' off of Lerahk's name*

 

Lerahk: That's better. Now I need to get rid of that letter. Anyone got a trash can?

 

Zaktan: I do, you stupid little Rahkshi punk!

 

*Zaktan stuffs Lerahk into a trash can*

 

Lerahk: Hey! Get back here you @#%& Piraka! I'll sue you!

 

Narratorrahk: ...This is getting weirder and weirder by the minute. I think I'll take a break for a while...

 

*Back with the Toa Nuva*

 

Gali: Tahu! Your mask!

 

Tahu: Who cares about scratches? My hotel is gone! Destroyed...BY THE SAME GUYS WHO KILLED TA-KORO!

 

Takanuva: Now who's just paraphrasing themselves from Mask of Light?

 

Kopaka: ...You are?

 

Takanuva: No.

 

Kopaka: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!

 

Gali: At any rate, I wasn't talking about the scratch on your mask. I was talking about the fact that you still have your Pakari on from the play!

 

Tahu: Wha--really?

 

Gali: Yep.

 

*Tahu looks in a mirror and pulls off the Pakari*

 

Tahu: Ok, it's off. Now where's my Hau, I need to put it on before I--

 

*Tahu faints*

 

Gali: What a moron. Lewa, do you mind helping us figure out what to do next?

 

Lewa: You're right, Gali, we have to get our hotel back right away! Especially since all of my money and my smoothie maker are still inside!

 

Gali: So much for priorities.

 

Onua: Well, first things first, the Rahkshi don't have a narrator. So, while they're distracted by the inevitable random gibberish, we could sneak in and take the hotel back!

 

Narrator: Good idea, except for one problem. They hired Narratorrahk to do the narration for them.

 

Onua: Why do you always disagree with my ideas?

 

Narrator: Because your idea didn't work.

 

Onua: Fine.

 

Tava: We could pie the Rahkshi in the face!

 

Lewa: *sighs* You already tried that with Lerahk last chapter!

 

Tava: Then we could pie them in the face again!

 

Takanuva: No.

 

Kopaka: AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!

 

Fred: Let's face it, this conversation is getting us nowhere.

 

*Fred grows a tree stump from the ground and sits on it*

 

Fred: I'm...stumped.

 

*Everyone groans*

 

Lewa: Hey, wait a second! Do I hear footsteps?

 

Pohatu: You're right! I bet it's Tahu!

 

Gali: No, Tahu's right here, unconscious because he took his mask off before having another one to put back on.

 

Pohatu: Oh yeah.

 

*The figure approaches, to reveal...*

 

Everyone: Bob the Pirate :pirate: !?!?!?!?!?!?

 

Pohatu: By the way, I love exclamation points and--

 

Everyone but Pohatu: DON'T USE THAT JOKE!!

 

Pohatu: :(

 

Bob the Pirate: Yes, it is I, Bob the Pirate :pirate:!

 

Lewa: You're the guy who...

 

Gali: Was the villain in...

 

Onua: "Ask Matau!" and...

 

Takanuva: Tried to take over the show!

 

Bob the Pirate: Yes, that's me! But how did you know that?

 

Lewa: "Ask Matau" is our favorite show! Every Monday at 8/7 Central, only on Metru Nui TV!

 

Bob the Pirate: Weird...

 

Onua: Well, I'm sorry to tell you this, but if you're looking to take over our comedy, you came at a really bad time. The Rahkshi already did that.

 

Bob the Pirate: Believe it or not, I'm not here to take over the comedy...at least not yet! I'm here because I want revenge on those stupid Rahkshi!

 

Gali: Really? But why?

 

Bob the Pirate: Because they took over the comedy! How dare they! I have taking over comedies copyrighted, and I won't stand to let someone else steal my spotlight!

 

Lewa: Okay then...well, in that case, welcome to the club!

 

Bob the Pirate: What club?

 

Takanuva: The "Happydance Emoticon" club! :happydance:

 

Kopaka: Since when was there such a club?

 

Takanuva: Since now!

 

Lewa: Be quiet, all of you! I just thought of a brilliant plan! Not that every plan I think up isn't brilliant, but still...

 

Onua: Does it involve...mining?

 

Gali: Does it involve water?

 

Bob the Pirate: Does it involve the "pirate" emoticon?

 

BEC: DoesitinvolvesugarIlovesugaritmakesmesohyperyayayayayayayay!!

 

Tava: Does it involve pie? Or pi?

 

GIM: Does it involve me?

 

Pohatu: Does it involve kohlii?

 

Lewa: It involves...all of the above! Or something.

 

Gali: This is awesome! We finally have a plan! :happydance:

 

Takanuva: Welcome to the "Happydance Emoticon" club! :happydance:

 

Kopaka: :usa:

 

Gali: That was weird...

 

Takanuva: No.

 

Kopaka: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

 

Takanuva: Wow, that was his longest scream ever!

 

Kopaka: Thank you.

 

Guinness Book Of World Records Guy: Toa Kopaka Nuva, you've won the "World's Longest 'No. AAAAHHH!' Scream" Award!

 

Kopaka: Yay! :happydance:

 

Gali: Welcome to the "Happydance Emoticon" club!

 

Takanuva: Hey, he can't be in it!

 

Gali: He's cute.

 

Everyone Else: :blink:

 

Kopaka: Aww...she likes me! :wub:

 

Narrator: Sorry to break this up, but this chapter is getting way too full of random emoticons. I'm going to have to end the chapter here.

 

Narratorrahk: No, you can't! The Rahkshi need more scenes!

 

Lewa0111: I overrule both of you, and I say we end it.

 

THE END

 

Onua: What do you know, the ending title was actually done right for a change.

 

Narrator: I did it right? Yay for me! :happydance:

 

Takanuva: Welcome to the "Happydance Emoticon" club!

 

Narratorrahk: Can I be in it?

 

Takanuva: No Rahkshi allowed.

 

All Rahkshi: Awwwwww...

 

Bob the Word Counting Matoran: This chapter has--yikes!

 

*A Power Scream kraata blasts Bob out of the comedy*

 

Obb the Word Counting Kraata: This chapter has 1,387 words.

 

~Lewa# Studios

 

:mirunu: Lewa0111 Nuva :mirunu:


Edited by Lewa0111 Nuva, Jun 28 2014 - 06:08 AM.

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My Script Comedies: | The Nuva Inn Remake | Ask Matau! Remake (ACCEPTING QUESTIONS!) |
My Prose Comedies: | The BZ-Nui Hack Wars | Mata Nova |

 

“MATAU! Did you replace those candies with chocolate-covered Madu?”

 

“Maybe…”

 

--Turaga Nokama and Turaga Matau, Why Toa Shouldn't Trick Or Treat

ANNOUNCEMENT: The Lewa# Studios Holiday Series kicks off again with Why Toa Shouldn't Trick Or Treat!


#48 Offline Elrond of Rivendell

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Posted Nov 16 2011 - 10:30 PM

Hey! Bob the Pirate is bac-Bob the Pirate :pirate: : Hey! You forgot the emoticon!Bane: :spank:-The Bane
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Gentlemen, it's time to spread the word. And the word is: Panic

 

life is not a question of how long we live, but what we do with the life we have



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#49 Offline snakebug

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Posted Nov 17 2011 - 12:58 PM

i love the comedy! but i was wondering if we could see a bit more pohatu? maybe an episode where he gets an accent would be nice. but so far i really like the comedy but so far im having trouble loading the page for the original nuva inn. any way we can fix that?
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#50 Offline Elrond of Rivendell

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Posted Nov 17 2011 - 03:48 PM

Kopaka: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Forgot to mention: my favorite part :biggrin:-The Bane :rockacon:Rocka:That's not an emoticon!!(whoops)

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Gentlemen, it's time to spread the word. And the word is: Panic

 

life is not a question of how long we live, but what we do with the life we have



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#51 Offline Lewa0111 Nuva

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Posted Nov 18 2011 - 12:02 AM

@snakebug: Well, for now I'm just rewriting old chapters, so unfortunately I won't be thinking up new plots for a while yet. When I do get caught up, though, I'll probably consider your idea! As for the link, can you tell me what's wrong with it or what error message you're getting? It works fine for me.

 

The RAHKSHI Inn

A BIONICLE comedy by Lehrak1222!

Chapter 18 (Part 3 of 5): The Nuva Find Help OR Bankrupt Rahkshi

 

Vorahk: Noooooooooo!! I don't want to go bankrupt! We just got this hotel!

 

Narrator: You mean you just stole this hotel.

 

Vorahk: Got, stole, same thing.

 

Narrator: You deserve to go bankrupt after stealing the hotel from the Toa Nuva!

 

Narratorrahk: Get out of here, Narrator!

 

Narrator: Make me.

 

Lehrak1222: Author powers! :evilgrin:

 

Narrator: AAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!

 

*The Narrator runs away*

 

Narratorrahk: Much better.

 

Lewa0111: :o Who's this "Lehrak1222?"

 

Lehrak1222: I am.

 

Lewa0111: Great, now there's a Rahkshi version of me, too? This is getting ridiculous.

 

Lehrak1222: The only thing ridiculous about this is the fact that you're still around! Take this!

 

*Lehrak1222 uses author powers to put Lewa0111 in a trash can*

 

Zaktan: Hey! What have I told you about having trash cans copyrighted!?!?!?!?!?

 

*Zaktan shoves Lehrak1222 in a trash can*

 

Panrahk: By the way, I hate exclamation points and question marks together.

 

Turahk: New joke, not early enough in the chapter, hilarious!

 

Takanuvarahk: YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSS!!

 

Kurahk: Ah.

 

Narratorrahk: Can we stop reversing the classic running jokes and just get on with things? We join the Rahkshi Nuva in their hotel lobby.

 

BECrahk: Thank you, you'll be in room 213.

 

Random Kraata #4729: Thanks! Let's go, my brethren!

 

*A whole swarm of kraata slither into the elevator*

 

Lehrak: Hey, BECrahk! Who changed the sign?

 

BECrahk: What sign?

 

Lehrak: The sign for the hotel, of course!

 

BECrahk: Huh? Let me see...

 

The RAHI Inn

 

BECrahk: That's weird. I have no idea.

 

Lehrak: Hey, Narratorrahk! Who changed the sign?

 

Narratorrahk: I'm...not sure actually. Probably the same person who changed Turahk's name.

 

Tarkuhh: I swear, if I ever find out who did this, they'll get an anger blast to the face!

 

*Suddenly, a gigantic group of random Rahi come running into the inn*

 

Muaka: Grr!

 

Nui-Rama: Buzz!

 

Kane-Ra: Snort!

 

Tarakava: Roar!

 

Nui-Jaga: Scorpion Noises!

 

Panrahk: :huh: Scorpions say "Scorpion Noises?"

 

Nui-Jaga: I don't know what kind of noises scorpions make!

 

BECrahk: I think it's some kind of hissing sound, right?

 

Takanuvarahk: YYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS!!

 

Kurahk: Ah.

 

Tarkuhh: Somebody had better change that sign. And fix my name, too, while you're at it!

 

Nui-Jaga: You mean this isn't actually a Rahi inn?

 

Tarkuhh: Nope, sorry.

 

All Rahi: Aww...

 

*The Rahi leave*

 

Kraata of Letter Control (KLC): I love doing that. :D

 

*In the restaurant...*

 

Tavarahk: Hey! Why is there all of this pie here? And sugar? Time to vaporize it!

 

*Tavarahk scatters Anti-Pie everywhere, blowing up the pie with it*

 

BECrahk: Sugar? DIE, SUGAR, DIE!

 

*BECrahk blasts the sugar to atoms with his staff*

 

Turahk: Ah, finally, my name got fixed! You two, quit vaporizing our merchandise! You'll make us go bankrupt!

 

Tavarahk: ANTI-PIE!!

 

*Tavarahk splats Turahk in the face with an Anti-Pie*

 

Turahk: *sighs* Just...BECrahk, keep an eye on the cash register, okay? I'm out of here.

 

BECrahk: Okay!

 

*BECrahk checks the cash register*

 

BECrahk: :OMG: We've gone bankrupt! Turahk was right!

 

Lehrak: Yeah, right. We can't have gone bankrupt already!

 

BECrahk: But the cash register says we have zero widgets!

 

Kraata of Number Control (KNC): :superfunny:

 

KLC: You rock, bro!

 

KNC: You were right. This is a lot of fun! I could mess with them all day...

 

*Meanwhile, back with the Toa Nuva in the middle of nowhere...*

 

Lewa: So, it's now time to go over our new, amazing plan to take back The Nuva Inn. ...Or, rather, The Rahkshi Inn now, I guess.

 

Kopaka: Actually, according to the sign, it's now called "The Naksjhdfgoiauhseijntklshviouysdzoijhedrf Ibnaefdjkga."

 

Everyone Else: :blink:

 

*Tahu raises his hand*

 

Tahu: Actually, I have a better plan!

 

Lewa: But you haven't even heard mine yet!

 

Tahu: Who cares? My plan is way better. First, we lead a large force of axemen and spearmen toward the main gates, while the cavalry circle around and raid the outlying groups, and then the rams come in from the back and--

 

Gali: *sighs* Okay, when exactly did you start playing Age of Empires Online?

 

Tahu: Since I found a computer in the kitchen. It's made out of pie, but it works just fine!

 

Tava: Hey! That's for my Ask Comedy!

 

Gali: But weren't you playing AoE II in the original?

 

Tahu: That's so 2006.

 

Lewa: QUIET!! Look, here's my awesome and amazing real plan. We're going to hire some mercenaries to help us retake the Inn!

 

Onua: You mean "retake the Ibnaefdjkga."

 

Takanuva: No.

 

Kopaka: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

 

Gali: At any rate, it's a good plan, except for one thing. Where exactly do we find random mercenaries?

 

Pohatu: At Mercenaries "R" Us, of course!

 

Gali: :glare:

 

Pohatu: No, really! There's a shop right there.

 

*Pohatu points behind them, where a large Mercenaries "R" Us is located*

 

Lewa: Great, let's go buy some mercenaries then!

 

Tava: I wonder if they accept payment in pie?

 

Lewa: Shut up.

 

Tava: Pie? :(

 

*At the Mercenaries "R" Us...*

 

Lewa: Hi, we'd like to order two mercenaries, preferably with experience in fighting Rahkshi.

 

Cash Register Guy (CRG): Okay. That will be W9,876,543,210. Plus 55 pies.

 

Lewa: Here's the widgets...

 

Tava: PIE!

 

*Tava pies the CRG in the face 55 times*

 

CRG: Thank you, come again!

 

*Later...*

 

Lewa: So, our hotel was then taken over by a bunch of Rahkshi, and we need your help to take it back.

 

Mercenaries: Okay, sure thing.

 

Lewa: What are your names again?

 

Mercenary #1 (A lizard-looking guy): I'm Godzilla Forever, Godzilla's younger brother. I'm good at smashing things, especially Rahkshi!

 

Mercenary #2 (A green Toa): And I'm Toa Vero, Toa of Sugar. I can create sugar and use it to--

 

BEC: SUGAR!! :drool:

 

*BEC tackles Vero*

 

Vero: Does this happen a lot?

 

Fred: You have no idea.

 

Vero: Yikes! A talking kraata!

 

*Vero faints*

 

BEC: Sugar? :(

 

Lewa: You're becoming even worse than Tava...

 

Tava: PIE!!

 

BEC: SUGAR!!

 

Tava: PIE!!

 

BEC: SUGAR!!

 

Gali: Ugh. Didn't we do a pointless argument like this already?

 

Lewa: Yeah, I think so.

 

Kopaka: By the way...

 

Pohatu: That's my line!

 

Kopaka: No, I was going to say "By the way, the sign's changed again."

 

Pohatu: Oh.

 

Gali: What does it say now?

 

Kopaka: "The RIBBIT Info," apparently.

 

Gali: This keeps getting weirder and weirder.

 

*Back at the inn, the Rahkshi are running around in a panic*

 

Turahk: What do you mean, we have negative widgets? How is that even possible!?!?!?!?

 

Panrahk: By the way, I hate--

 

All Rahkshi: PLEASE USE THAT JOKE MORE!!

 

BECrahk: I don't know, it's just what the cash register display says! It's not my fault! "-3.1415926535 widgets!"

 

Tavarahk: ANTI-PI!!

 

KNC: I think I know my new favorite pasttime.

 

KLC: Told you so! Now, watch this... :sly:

 

THE END KRAATA OF LETTER CONTROL IS AWESOME

 

Narrator: What the--HEY!

 

Vorahk: You never can trust kraata...

 

Narrator: Oh, shut up, you. You're even worse than Onua was.

 

Onua: Hey! I can hear you!

 

Lehrak1222: Does anyone mind getting me out of this trash can? It's dark and smelly in here...

 

Takanuva: No.

 

Kopaka: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

 

Onua: Wow, you just broke your own record.

 

Obb the Word Counting Kraata: This chapter has 1,163 words.

 

~Lerahk# Studios

 

:smilelerahk: Lerahk1222 :smilelerahk:


Edited by Lewa0111 Nuva, Jun 28 2014 - 06:19 AM.

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My Script Comedies: | The Nuva Inn Remake | Ask Matau! Remake (ACCEPTING QUESTIONS!) |
My Prose Comedies: | The BZ-Nui Hack Wars | Mata Nova |

 

“MATAU! Did you replace those candies with chocolate-covered Madu?”

 

“Maybe…”

 

--Turaga Nokama and Turaga Matau, Why Toa Shouldn't Trick Or Treat

ANNOUNCEMENT: The Lewa# Studios Holiday Series kicks off again with Why Toa Shouldn't Trick Or Treat!


#52 Offline Elrond of Rivendell

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Posted Nov 19 2011 - 01:40 PM

Is The toa of sugar new? What about :smilelerahk:?-The Bane!!! :hau:
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Gentlemen, it's time to spread the word. And the word is: Panic

 

life is not a question of how long we live, but what we do with the life we have



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#53 Offline Lewa0111 Nuva

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Posted Nov 20 2011 - 12:29 AM

@Rocka: The Toa of Sugar was a guest star in the original chapter. Lerahk1222 was the Rahkshi version of me!

 

New chapter!

 

The RAHKSHI Inn

A BIONICLE comedy by LERAHK1222

Chapter 19 (Part 4 of 5): Mercenaries and Randomness OR Kraata Madness

 

Vorahk: Kraata Madness? What does that even mean?

 

Narratorrahk: A tuba tap-dancing on a chicken. What do you think? Madness involving kraata, obviously...

 

Vorahk: But why would kraata--

 

*A huge mob of kraata coming to stay at the hotel stampede into the lobby, trampling Vorahk*

 

Vorahk: :dazed:

 

BECrahk: Enjoy your stays, everyone!

 

Vorahk: How can kraata stampede, anyway? They don't have feet!

 

*More kraata stampede over Vorahk*

 

Vorahk: ...Never mind.

 

*Turahk exits the elevator*

 

Turahk: Okay, who changed the sign this time?

 

BECrahk: What, it's changed again? Seriously?

 

Takanuvarahk: YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS!!

 

Kurahk: Ah.

 

Turahk: Apparently, it now says "The FSAHRGTIAJHA7ER5875y3 Ijhgisdhurhue."

 

All Rahkshi: :blink:

 

Lerahk: That's bizarre even by that crazy sign's standards.

 

Turahk: Seriously, people, I want somebody to find out what's wrong with the sign right away!

 

*All of the Rahkshi stare at Panrahk*

 

Panrahk: ...What?

 

Turahk: Thanks for volunteering.

 

Panrahk: Wha--but I--did you--I never--oh, fine.

 

*Panrahk leaves*

 

Tavarahk: ANTI-PI!! -3.14159265358979...

 

Turahk: And someone shut him up too, while we're at it.

 

Lerahk: Allow me. :evilgrin:

 

Tavarahk: Anti-pie! Umm...I mean...bye now?

 

*Tavarahk runs off, chased by Lerahk*

 

KLC: Teamwork sure is fun, isn't it?

 

KNC: Yeah! The only thing better than changing letters or numbers around is doing both at once!

 

KLC: Maybe if we keep this up, we could take over the Inn from the Rahkshi...

 

KNC: Or rather, take over the "Ijhgisdhurhue" from the Rahkshi!

 

KLC: :lol:

 

KNC: I have an idea...I think I'll call up my 392 cousins and have a pool party here!

 

KLC: Me too!

 

*Turahk walks up to the Kraata*

 

Turahk: What did you say, Kraata?

 

KNC: Umm...I said...uh..."I tink I'm gonna fall up by free limey goo tuzzins and sav a cool tardy deer!"

 

Turahk: Only a moron would say that...

 

Krekka: I tink I'm gonna fall up by free limey goo tuzzins and sav a cool tardy deer! :D

 

Turahk: I rest my case. I might as well go check on Panrahk...

 

*Turahk walks off*

 

KNC: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

 

KLC: Definitely... :sly:

 

*Later, outside by the sign...*

 

Panrahk: Okay, change this, this, and...there, back to normal!

 

Turahk: How's the sign fixing going?

 

Panrahk: Great! I just finished.

 

Turahk: Really.

 

Panrahk: Yep!

 

Turahk: Then why does it say "The TURAHK IS A BIG MORON Inn?

 

Panrahk: No it doesn't!

 

*Panrahk looks at the sign*

 

Panrahk: ...I swear, it was fine just a second ago!

 

Turahk: Panrahk, you are so dead! I knew you were the one behind all of this!

 

Panrahk: What!? Me? No, you've got it all wrong! It was--

 

KLC: It was me.

 

Turahk: You!?!?!?

 

Panrahk: By the way, I hate exclamation--

 

Turahk: USE THAT JOKE MORE!!

 

*The Kraata of Letter Control knocks the two Rahkshi out and drags them into a closet*

 

KNC: Way to go! High five!

 

KLC: Umm...bro? We don't have any hands.

 

KNC: Oh. Right.

 

*Laterer, in the lobby...*

 

BECrahk: Hey, what's this sign say? "Massive Sugar Stockpile this way?" DEATH TO SUGAR!!

 

*BECrahk runs toward the sign, only to get knocked out by the KLC*

 

Lerahk: BECrahk? You there?

 

*KLC knocks him out too, along with Takanuvarahk, Kurahk, and Vorahk, and drags them all into the closet*

 

KLC: This is too easy! Who are we missing?

 

KNC: Umm...well, there's...

 

Tavarahk: ANTI-PIE!!

 

KNC: Yeah. Him.

 

KLC: I'm on it!

 

*KNC knocks out Tavarahk*

 

KNC: Never mind, I already got him. Now let's get all of our cousins to come over!

 

*Meanwhile, back with the Toa Nuva...*

 

Vero: Lewa, help!

 

Lewa: Help with what? Are the Rahkshi attacking?

 

Vero: No, help save me from him!

 

BEC: Heywhydoyoukeeprunningaway? I'mnothyperatall! IjustwantyoutogivememoreelementalsugarbecauseIlovesugar! SUGARSUGARSUGAR!

 

Fred: Somebody stop this ride!

 

Lewa: BEC, calm down.

 

*Lewa launches BEC into the air with his wind powers*

 

BEC: Ouch...you blew all the hyper right out of me!

 

Fred: That's possible? :bigeek: Lewa, I may need you to do that more often...

 

Lewa: Okay, sure. Hmm, maybe I should charge money for that service.

 

Fred: Is money all you ever think about?

 

Lewa: Pretty much.

 

Onua: So, are we going to take back our hotel now, or are we just going to stand around doing pointless stuff all day?

 

Pohatu: It's called an Inn.

 

Onua: Hotel.

 

Pohatu: Inn!

 

Onua: Hotel!

 

Pohatu: Inn!

 

Onua: Hotel!

 

Pohatu: Inn!

 

Onua: Hotel!

 

Pie: TAVA!! :D

 

Onua: No. Just...no.

 

Tava: Pie? :(

 

GF: Good point, though. We haven't exactly done much. Can I smash something soon?

 

Bob the Pirate: This is why I don't work with Toa. They're way too inefficient.

 

Tahu: WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME? BURN ST--

 

*Gali douses him with water*

 

Tahu: :onwater:

 

Gali: That's not even a real emoticon!

 

Tahu: Yes it is!

 

Takanuva: No.

 

Kopaka: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!

 

Bob the Pirate: Forget it. Vero, GF, just come with me. We'll take back the Inn ourselves.

 

Lewa: Hey, wait for us!

 

*The mercenaries, emoticon villain, and Toa all run toward the Inn*

 

*Meanwhile, in the pool room, a huge swarm of letter and number control kraata are swimming in the pool, while changing letters and numbers around everywhere*

 

KNC: This was an awesome idea!

 

KLC: I know! :D

 

KNC: What about the Rahkshi?

 

KLC: I tied them up. They're fine in the closet.

 

KLC2: Thanks for the party, cuz!

 

KLC: No problem!

 

*Back with the Nuva, standing near a back door of the Inn...*

 

Gali: So, I'm pretty sure this door leads into a small supply closet. If we can break through, we can sneak in that way and take the Rahkshi by surprise.

 

Lewa: Sounds good. Pohatu, mind opening it for us?

 

Pohatu: Sure!

 

*Pohatu tries to punch a hole through the wall next to the door, but just hurts his hand*

 

Gali: :sarcastic: Don't you ever think to use your head for a change, Pohatu?

 

Pohatu: Use my head? Okay!

 

*Pohatu rams his head into the door, breaking it down but knocking himself out as well*

 

Gali: Not exactly what I meant, but...okay...

 

Lewa: Well, let's go inside!

 

*The Toa enter the closet, and the tied up Rahkshi all fall out*

 

All Toa Nuva: RAHKSHI!?

 

Pohatu: By the way, I love exclamation points and--

 

Everyone Else (including the Rahkshi): DON'T USE THAT JOKE!!

 

Onua: But what are the Rahkshi doing tied up in their own Inn? Who did this to them? It wasn't us...

 

Bob the Pirate: Don't look at me! I had nothing to do with it, honest!

 

Lewa: Then who did?

 

THE END

 

Onua: Another cliffhanger? Come on, Narrator.

 

Narrator: Cliffhangers are fun, though!

 

Onua: Sometimes. Other times, such as now, they're just irritating.

 

Narrator: Just deal with it.

 

Obb the Word Counting Kraata: This chapter has 1,102 words.

 

~Lewa# Studios

 

:mirunu: Lewa0111 Nuva :mirunu:


Edited by Lewa0111 Nuva, Jun 28 2014 - 06:29 AM.

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My Script Comedies: | The Nuva Inn Remake | Ask Matau! Remake (ACCEPTING QUESTIONS!) |
My Prose Comedies: | The BZ-Nui Hack Wars | Mata Nova |

 

“MATAU! Did you replace those candies with chocolate-covered Madu?”

 

“Maybe…”

 

--Turaga Nokama and Turaga Matau, Why Toa Shouldn't Trick Or Treat

ANNOUNCEMENT: The Lewa# Studios Holiday Series kicks off again with Why Toa Shouldn't Trick Or Treat!


#54 Offline Lewa0111 Nuva

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Posted Nov 20 2011 - 05:44 PM

Huh, not many replies lately...

 

The RAHKSHI KRAATA Inn

A BIONICLE comedy by Me!

Chapter 20 (Part 5 of 5): The Boss Visits OR Umm...I Can't Think Of Another Title

 

Onua: "Umm...I Can't Think Of Another Title?" That's the lamest chapter title yet!

 

Narrator: What, like you could do any better?

 

Onua: How about "Onua Gets To Criticize The Narrator In The Intro Again?"

 

Narrator: That's a horrible title!

 

Onua: Well, it's true. Seriously, how dare Vorahk take my intro-criticizing-ness?

 

Vorahk: MMPH MMPH MMMPH!

 

Onua: Shut up, you.

 

Narrator: I must admit, Vorahk was starting to get on my nerves...

 

*Okay, let's just get back to the point of this chapter already! We join the Toa Nuva as they are investigating--*

 

Narrator: That's my job! Caption Writing Guy, just stick to your captions. I'm the one who introduces the chapters!

 

*No it isn't! It's my job now, too!*

 

Lewa0111: No, Narrator's right. Stop overstepping your boundaries, Caption Writing Guy.

 

* :( *

 

Onua: Weirdest caption ever.

 

Narrator: We join the Toa Nuva as they are investigating a closet in the back of the Inn.

 

Lewa: Pohatu, untie the Rahkshi so we can find out what happened here!

 

Pohatu: Why me?

 

Lewa: Because you're fun to pick on.

 

Pohatu: Fine.

 

Onua: Leave Vorahk tied up, though, please?

 

*Pohatu unties all of the Rahkshi except for Vorahk*

 

Tahu: Who did all this to you? And, umm, Lerahk1222? Why is there a pig on your head?

 

Lerahk1222: Blame your author.

 

Lewa0111: Hey!

 

Turahk: Actually, we were captured by...

 

Brutaka: By me!

 

Lewa0111: Brutaka, you're not in this comedy. Go home.

 

Brutaka: HOME! SMASH STUFF!!

 

*Brutaka leaves*

 

Turahk: Actually, it was those kraata who captured us.

 

Fred: Hey, it wasn't me!

 

Turahk: Not you, those other kraata.

 

Lewa: But why would kraata tie you up? Come to think of it, how could kraata tie you up?

 

KLC: Didn't you see the sign? It's The Kraata Inn now! And we took over the hotel so that we could have a pool party!

 

Vero: You have the weirdest color scheme ever. What's your power?

 

KLC: Letter control!

 

Rover: Letter control? That's such a suptid owerp adn uou cnat hrut us whit taht owerp...HEY!

 

KLC: :D

 

KNC: And I'm his brother, the Kraata of Number Control! And these are our 392 cousins.

 

392 Random Kraata: :howdy:

 

Lewa: Well, I guess we just have to take over the hotel from you, then!

 

KLC: Don't bet on it. We outnumber you, and your names will never be the same again after we're through with you! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!

 

???: Hey! I have that evil laugh copyrighted!

 

All Rahkshi and Kraata (including Fred): Makuta Teridax!?

 

Keetongu: I have copyrights copyrighted!

 

Makuta: :blink:

 

Keetongu: What? I got so fed up with everyone stealing my copyrighted lines that I just went to the Metru Nui Copyright Office yesterday and copyrighted copyrights!

 

Lewa: That's possible?

 

Keetongu: Of course!

 

Lewa: Why didn't I think of that? Then I could have made money every time someone copyrights something!

 

Keetongu: Bye now.

 

*Keetongu disappears*

 

Turahk: Hi, Dad. What are you doing here?

 

Makuta: I thought I told you never to call me Dad!

 

Turahk: Sorry, sir.

 

Makuta: That's better. I heard you took over the hotel from those pitiful Toa, but when I got here, you had already lost it again!

 

Lerahk: But, sir, it was those kraata!

 

Makuta: What kraata?

 

KLC: Umm...not me! It was Fred!

 

Fred: HEY!

 

Mku598t4a: Fred doesn't have the powers of letter or number control! If it wasn't him, then who did this to my name?

 

KLC: Uh...gotta go!

 

KNC: Yeah! We...umm...left the...donkey on the muffin...in the bathroom. Bye!

 

*The KLC, KNC, and their cousins rush out of the hotel*

 

Pohatu: But BIONICLE characters don't have bathrooms...

 

Makuta: I'll deal with them later. For now, you Rahkshi, get up and fight!

 

Turahk: But, sir...

 

Makuta: You call yourselves Rahkshi? No son of mine ever backs down from a battle!

 

*Turaga Lhikan walks up to Makuta and pokes him*

 

Makuta: AAAH! MOMMMYYYYYYYYYY!!

 

*Makuta runs away*

 

Turahk: What a hypocrite. Oh, well. Now that those kraata are gone, let's take back the Inn!

 

Lewa: Never!

 

Turahk: Rahkshi, attack!

 

Lewa: Toa Nuva, attack! ...And emoticon villains, and mercenaries, and Guest Stars, and random Matoran, and good-guy kraata, and whoever else...

 

Lerahk1222: Lewa0111, time for an author power showdown! I'll prove that I'm the true author of this comedy!

 

Lewa0111: Bring it on!

 

Tava: PIE!!

 

*Tava throws a pie toward Tavarahk*

 

Tavarahk: ANTI-PIE!!

 

*Tavarahk throws an anti-pie back toward Tava, and the two collide in midair, creating a huge explosion*

 

All Toa and Rahkshi: :dazed:

 

Turahk: What now? Are we too tired to fight?

 

Takanuvarahk: YYYYYYYYYEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS!!

 

Takanuva: No.

 

Kurahk: Ah.

 

Kopaka: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

 

Gali: They stole our running jokes and reversed them!?!?!?!?!?!?

 

Pohatu: By the way, I love exclamation points and question marks together!

 

Panrahk: By the way, I hate exclamation points and question marks together!

 

All Toa Nuva: DON'T USE THAT JOKE!!

 

All Rahkshi: USE THAT JOKE MORE!!

 

Lewa: *shrugs* Apparently so, Gali.

 

Gali: How dare they? That's it! Toa, attack!

 

THE END

 

Onua: What is it with authors and cliffhangers? It's Part 5 of 5, you can't end it now!

 

Vorahk: Yes he can! Lerahk1222 can do anything!

 

Onua: No, he can't! It's Lewa0111 who's in charge here!

 

Vorahk: Narratorrahk, who's in charge?

 

Narratorrahk: Lerahk1222.

 

Vorahk: See?

 

Onua: Never! The Toa Nuva will prevail!

 

Narrator: Get out of the extro scene, Vorahk!

 

Vorahk: :???: "Extro?"

 

Narrator: The opposite of the intro, obviously.

 

Onua: Die, Vorahk! Eat dirt!

 

Vorahk: Gladly!

 

*Vorahk uses his hunger powers to eat all of the dirt*

 

Onua: I didn't mean literally...

 

Obb the Word Counting Kraata: This chapter has--

 

*Bob the Word Counting Matoran kicks him in the face, sending him splatting into Vorahk*

 

Bob the Word Counting Matoran: This chapter has 943 wo--

 

Narrator: That's way too short!

 

Narratorrahk: No, let's end it here! Then the Rahkshi can take control!

 

Narrator: Says who?

 

Lerahk1222: Says me, that's who! AUTHOR POWERS!

 

*Narratorrahk turns into a tuba*

 

Lerahk1222: Huh? Did I just miss?

 

Lewa0111: No, that would be my author powers.

 

Onua: Ha! Told you so!

 

Lerahk1222: This isn't over yet!

 

THE END

 

Lerahk1222: Thank you, Narratorrahk!

 

Narratorrahk: No problem!

 

Vorahk: This was a really long extro sequence.

 

Lerahk1222: Now you're using that dumb word, too!?!?!?!?

 

Panrahk: By the way, I--

 

Vorahk: USE THAT JOKE MORE!!

 

Onua: Hey! Let me into this extro!

 

Lerahk1222: *groans* No Toa allowed. Courier New font protects this section from Toa intrusion!

 

Narratorrahk: Wait, if that's true, then why didn't we just make the Inn's sign out of Courier New font to begin with?

 

Vorahk: Oh, we tried, believe me...stupid kraata of letter control...

 

Obb the Word Counting Kraata: Now this chapter has 1,098 words.

 

Lerahk1222: Much more reasonable of a length.

 

Obb the Word Counting Kraata: Except the extro took up like half of it...

 

*Lerahk1222 groans*

 

~Lerahk# Studios

 

:smilelerahk: LERAHK1222 :smilelerahk:


Edited by Lewa0111 Nuva, Jun 28 2014 - 06:37 AM.

  • 0

My Script Comedies: | The Nuva Inn Remake | Ask Matau! Remake (ACCEPTING QUESTIONS!) |
My Prose Comedies: | The BZ-Nui Hack Wars | Mata Nova |

 

“MATAU! Did you replace those candies with chocolate-covered Madu?”

 

“Maybe…”

 

--Turaga Nokama and Turaga Matau, Why Toa Shouldn't Trick Or Treat

ANNOUNCEMENT: The Lewa# Studios Holiday Series kicks off again with Why Toa Shouldn't Trick Or Treat!


#55 Offline Elrond of Rivendell

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Posted Nov 20 2011 - 11:11 PM

Did the chapter really have 1,098 words, or was that the KNC?-The Vein-whoops-Bane!!!!
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Gentlemen, it's time to spread the word. And the word is: Panic

 

life is not a question of how long we live, but what we do with the life we have



BZRPG profiles


#56 Offline Dralcax

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Posted Nov 26 2011 - 04:37 PM

This seems interesting. I'll keep following this. Also:Posted ImageSee, it is a real (fake) emoticon!
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eW9kyVR.png


#57 Offline Lewa0111 Nuva

Lewa0111 Nuva
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Posted Nov 30 2011 - 10:41 PM

Sorry for the gap in updates once again. My internet connection has been down for the past two weeks and I'm typing this chapter at the library at the moment. Anyhow, new chapter!

 

The RAHKSHI Inn

A BIONICLE comedy by LERAHK1222!

Chapter 21 (Part 6 of 5): The Rahkshi Get Their Butts Kicked OR Yes, I Know This Is Part 6 Of 5, Just Deal With It Vorahk And Onua!

 

Narratorrahk: ...What, no comment from you, Vorahk? ...Vorahk?

 

*Onua dumps a ginormous pile of dirt onto Vorahk*

 

Onua: :biggrin:

 

Narratorrahk: Never thought I'd say this, but thanks, Onua!

 

Onua: Any time!

 

*Onua hops away*

 

Narrator: We join the Toa Nuva and Rahkshi as they are all busy fighting.

 

Narratorrahk: That's my line! We join the Rahkshi and Toa Nuva as they are all--

 

*Narrator punches Narratorrahk in the face*

 

Lerahk1222: I will avenge you, Narratorrahk! AUTHOR POWERS!

 

*The Narrator gets covered in trash cans*

 

Zaktan: Hey! I have trash cans copyrighted! That's it!

 

Keetongu: I have copyrights copyrighted!

 

*Keetongu chases Zaktan around the battlefield*

 

Lewa0111: This is just getting ridiculous.

 

*Fine, I'll do the narrating. We join the Toa Nuva and the Rahkshi as they continue fighting.*

 

Lewa: Hey Lerahk! Turn and fight me!

 

Lerahk: I could beat you easily!

 

Lewa: But I challenge you to...ARM WRESTLING!

 

Lerahk: Bring it on.

 

*Lewa and Lerahk sit at a randomly appeared table and start arm wrestling*

 

Lerahk: Nnngggh!

 

Lewa: Arrrrgghhh!

 

Bob the Pirate :pirate:: Hey, you like pirates too!

 

Lewa: Shut up, I'm busy trying to win an arm wrestling contest!

 

*A Rahkshi with a coffee emoticon for a head pops out of nowhere and attacks Bob the Pirate*

 

Joe the Coffee Rahkshi :wakeup:: Pirates stink!

 

Bob the Pirate :pirate:: What? Death to Joe!

 

Tava: Emoticon Pies for everyone!

 

*Tava pies both emoticon villains in the face with his Pirate and Coffee Emoticon Pies*

 

Tavarahk: ANTI-PIE!

 

Tava: Never! I will defeat you!

 

*In another part of the hotel...*

 

Gali: Fear my wrath, Guurahk!

 

*Guurahk throws a banana peel*

 

Gali: Ha! That will never stop me!

 

Giant Inflatable Monkey: BANANA! PIUAHSROPGHAOJGHAEUHTUEYRFYEUKRGHSEUKSDRGY!!

 

*The GIM eats the banana*

 

Giant Inflatable Rahkshi: I hate bananas! Coconuts are way better!

 

*Sigh...a Rahkshi version of him too? This is just getting stupid.*

 

Gali and Guurahk: :blink:

 

*The GIM throws the banana peel at the GIR, who goes flying away like a deflated balloon*

 

Gali: Hey Guurahk! I bet you weren't expecting...this!

 

*Gali splits into two Galis*

 

Guurahk: Impressive, most impressive. But I can do that too!

 

*Guurahk splits into...one and a half Guurahks

 

*Half Of Guurahk (HOG): Hey! Where'd my other half go?

 

Guurahk1: She went shopping.

 

*At a random shopping mall...*

 

Other Half Of Guurahk (OHOG): Oh, wow! They're like, totally having a discount on blue clothes! Blue is, like, so my color!

 

*Back at The Nuva Inn...*

 

Lerahk1222: There's only room for one author in this comedy, Lewa0111! AUTHOR POWERS!

 

*All of the random stuff in the "list" from Chapter 3 flies in and hits Lewa0111 in the head*

 

Lewa0111: Oh yeah? Take this!

 

*Livna falls down and crushes Lerahk1222*

 

Lerahk1222: That barely hurt me, HA!

 

Lewa0111: No, but that will! *points*

 

Lerahk1222: Why, what's--

 

Zaktan: Ha!

 

*Zaktan throws Lerahk1222 in a trash can*

 

Keetongu: Die, Zaktan!

 

Zaktan: Uh...gotta go, bye!

 

*Somewhere else entirely, Kopaka, Takanuva, Tava, and Toa Vero have been backed into a corner by a bunch of Rahkshi*

 

Toa Vero: So, what do you think? Maybe we can survive this?

 

Takanuva: No.

 

Kopaka: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!

 

Turahk: No chance of that, pitiful Toa and Matoran! Die!

 

Toa Vero: *sighs* We need a deus ex machina to save us now...

 

*Mata Nui materializes out of nowhere*

 

Mata Nui: WAIT!

 

*Everyone freezes in place, including the Rahkshi*

 

Mata Nui: Tava, Pi-Matoran, you must take this. You will know what to do.

 

*Mata Nui hands Tava a glowing golden pie and teleports away, and everyone unfreezes*

 

Toa Vero: Guess I asked... :blink:

 

Tava: I know what this is! It's the legendary Pie of Light!

 

Toa Vero: Don't you mean Kanohi Mask of Light?

 

Takanuva: No.

 

Kopaka: AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!

 

*Tava eats the Pie of Light, and suddenly transforms into a Toa*

 

Toa Tava: I am Tava Nuva, Toa of Pie!

 

Takanuva: Hey, that's my line!

 

Everyone Else: :blink:

 

Takanuva: ...Well, not that line exactly...

 

*Tava creates pies with his elemental powers and pies all of the Rahkshi in the face*

 

Tavarahk: DEATH TO PIE!! Anti-pie shall rule!

 

Tava: Oh, no you don't.

 

*Tava slams several Rock Pies into Tavarahk*

 

Tavarahk: Aaaaaaaaaaannnnnnntttttiiiiiiii-pppppiiiiiiiiieeeeeee...

 

*Tavarahk flies out the window*

 

AG: Thanks, Tava. Now it's time for me to start stomping stuff!

 

*AG steps on all of the Rahkshi*

 

AG: :biggrin:

 

Toa Vero: Okay, looks like our job is done...

 

BEC: GIVE ME SUGAR!

 

Toa Vero: Get away from me, you insane hyper sugar-obsessed Matoran!

 

*A random comlink beeps*

 

Lewa: *pulls out comlink* What's going on?

 

Onua: Where'd you get that?

 

Lewa: Well, let's just say I stole it from a certain Sith Lord...

 

Darth Vader: How dare you, Lewa! I will have revenge! NNNNNNNNOooooooooooooooo!!

 

Emperor Palpatine: Wait, aren't you dead?

 

Darth Vader: Aren't you?

 

Emperor Palpatine: Good point.

 

*The randomly appeared Star Wars characters disappear*

 

Random Matoran #35 (on comlink): Bad news, Lewa. The Rahkshi escaped somehow and are heading for the Great Temple! They're going to burn it down!

 

Pohatu: We'll never make it in time. Not even my Kakama is strong enough to get me there that fast.

 

Gali: Looks like there's no chance for us, then...unless...

 

Tahu: Unless what?

 

Lewa: You wouldn't.

 

Gali: We don't have a choice.

 

*Gali points to Vero*

 

Gali: Is that...sugar?

 

Toa Vero: Yeah, why?

 

Gali: I can't believe I'm doing this, but we have no choice. Feed it to BEC.

 

All Other Toa: :OMG:

 

*BEC eats a gigantic pile of Vero's sugar*

 

BEC: Yahoo! Yippee! Sugar! Yay! ASKLJdfhailjkashgjklhudrkgSDRGHSGRJsdrukgksdhrgjkusdhrjklhdjghstuhltjifuh!! :br:

 

*BEC starts running around the room hyperly, then runs outside in the general direction of Ga-Metru. He comes back five seconds later.*

 

BEC: IdidityayIkilledallthoseRahkshiniceyayayayayaytimetopartywoohooawesomelet'seatmoresugarwheeeeeeee!

 

Fred: Never do that again, PLEASE.

 

Gali: Sorry, Fred. But hey, on the bright side, everything's finally been resolved, and the hotel is ours again!

 

Pohatu: Inn!

 

Onua: Hotel!

 

Pohatu: Inn!

 

Gali: Don't you start.

 

Onua & Pohatu: Sorry.

 

Makuta: @#$^&$!@$ Toa! I'll kill you all someday! MWAHAHAHAHA!

 

GregF: *appears* There is no killing in BIONICLE!

 

Turaga Lhikan's Ghost: Oh yeah? Then what happened to me, hypocrite?

 

Krika's Ghost: And me?

 

Gorast's Ghost: And me?

 

Random Ta-Matoran Who Fell Off Mata Nui's Face In Reign Of Shadows's Ghost: And me?

 

Alternate Tuyet's Ghost: And me?

 

Karzahni's Ghost: And me?

 

Matoro's Ghost: And me?

 

Tren Krom's Ghost: And--

 

GregF: OK, I GET IT! Umm...you all...just...were sent to the...shadow realm?

 

Random Yu-Gi-Oh Copyright Holder Person (RYCHP): We have that idea copyrighted!

 

Keetongu: DIE!

 

*Keetongu chases RYCHP and GregF out of the comedy*

 

Pohatu: That was weird.

 

Lewa: Thanks, Captain Obvious.

 

Captain Obvious: You're welcome!

 

*Captain Obvious flies away*

 

Gali: Well, the battle's been finally won, so you know what we have to do? LET'S PARTY!

 

*Gali activates her "Literally Instant Party Mix*

 

THE END

 

Lerahk1222: Hey, somebody get me out of here! ...Anybody?

 

Avak: No way, pal. This prison's immune to author powers!

 

Lerahk1222: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

Onua: Thanks, Avak. Here's the W20 I owe you!

 

Avak: Any time! Keeping Rahkshi authors locked up is one of my specialties!

 

Narrator: That's a really weird specialty.

 

Avak: WHO ASKED YOU?

 

Bob the Word Counting Matoran: This chapter has 1,166 words.

 

~Lewa# Studios

 

:mirunu: Lewa0111 Nuva :mirunu:


Edited by Lewa0111 Nuva, Jun 28 2014 - 06:52 AM.

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My Script Comedies: | The Nuva Inn Remake | Ask Matau! Remake (ACCEPTING QUESTIONS!) |
My Prose Comedies: | The BZ-Nui Hack Wars | Mata Nova |

 

“MATAU! Did you replace those candies with chocolate-covered Madu?”

 

“Maybe…”

 

--Turaga Nokama and Turaga Matau, Why Toa Shouldn't Trick Or Treat

ANNOUNCEMENT: The Lewa# Studios Holiday Series kicks off again with Why Toa Shouldn't Trick Or Treat!


#58 Offline Elrond of Rivendell

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Posted Dec 02 2011 - 06:49 PM

That was the greatest takeover chapter ever!!!!-The Bane!! :haunu:
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Gentlemen, it's time to spread the word. And the word is: Panic

 

life is not a question of how long we live, but what we do with the life we have



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#59 Offline Lewa0111 Nuva

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Posted Dec 03 2011 - 11:38 PM

Thanks, Bane! New chapter now!

 

The Nuva Inn

A BIONICLE comedy by Me!

Chapter 22: Back to Normal...and by "Normal" I mean "Random"

 

Narrator: Last time on The Nuva Inn, the Toa Nuva defeated the Rahkshi, with some help from Tava, having been transformed--

 

Onua: Really? This is what we've come to? A recap segment?

 

Narrator: Why, what's so bad about a recap segment?

 

Onua: Nothing other than the fact that the last chapter was only two posts ago...so a recap is completely pointless! And here I was hoping for a decent intro for a change, especially after the whole Rahkshi fiasco.

 

Narrator: No intro I could ever do would possibly be considered decent by you, Onua. You criticize everything!

 

Onua: At least I'm better than that faker Vorahk.

 

Vorahk: Faker? I think you're the fake Toa around here. You're comparing yourself to me? Ha! You're not even good enough to be my fake.

 

Onua: Okay, that Sonic reference wasn't even funny. Get out of here. Didn't we beat you already?

 

Vorahk: ...Fine. You're no fun.

 

*Vorahk leaves*

 

Narrator: Today, the Toa Nuva have finally retaken their Inn, and things are back to normal. The Toa are in the lobby doing whatever it is they normally do.

 

Tava: I'm a Toa! This is awesome!

 

Pohatu: Your powers could use some work, though...Pie? Seriously?

 

Tava: Pie is an awesome power to have! It's the greatest thing ever! Watch!

 

*Tava creates a bunch of elementally-created pies from nowhere and starts tossing them around everywhere, and several pies hit Pohatu in the face*

 

Pohatu: :dazed:

 

Lewa: Hey, Tava, watch it! You could hurt somebody with that stuff!

 

Tava: What, with pie?

 

Takanuva: No.

 

Kopaka: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

 

Tahu (from kitchen): BURN STUFF!

 

*The kitchen explodes*

 

BEC: YayforsugarIlovebeinghyperthisissofunyayayayayayayay! :br:

 

Fred: Ugh...

 

Zaktan: Hey, Onua, take this!

 

*Zaktan throws Onua in a trash can for no reason*

 

Onua: But I didn't even do anything!

 

Narrator: As I said before, everything is back to "normal."

 

*There is a knock at the door, and a Random Ko-Matoran walks in*

 

Random Ko-Matoran (RKM): Hi!

 

Gali: Hello, can I take your order? ^_^

 

Lewa: *whispers* This isn't a fast food place!

 

RKM: Yes, I'd like a cheeseburger and some fries.

 

Lewa: :blink: Apparently it...is?

 

Gali: Sorry, can you repeat that?

 

RKM: I'd like a cheeseburger and some fries.

 

Gali: Would you like fries with that?

 

RKM: Sure.

 

Gali: So your order is a cheeseburger, some fries, and some fries?

 

RKM: That's correct!

 

Gali: Would you like fries with that?

 

Lewa: :facepalm:

 

RKM: Sure!

 

Lewa: ENOUGH!

 

*Lewa uses his air powers to blast the Random Ko-Matoran out of the hotel*

 

Lewa: Gali, this isn't a fast food place.

 

BEC: AndheyGaliwhyareyouatthefrontdesk? I'mthefrontdeskypersonnotyouremember?

 

Gali: Sorry! I'll go back to the pool now.

 

*Gali splits into two Galis, and both Galis run to the bpool...wait, "bpool?" HEY!*

 

KLC: :rolleyes:

 

Lewa: That annoying kraata is still around? Somebody catch that thing!

 

*A Ta-Matoran walks in*

 

BEC: HitherewhoareyouwelcometoTheNuvaInnwhatcanIdoforyoutodayIlikesugar!

 

Ta-Matoran: :blink: ...Anyway, I'm Gurak, and I'd like to stay here for four nights.

 

*Guurahk appears*

 

Guurahk: Hey! You stole my name!

 

BEC: Heywaitasecondwhatareyoudoinghere? IthoughtwedefeatedallofyouRahkshiinthelastchapter! GetbacktobeingdeadalreadyyoustupidGuurahk!

 

Guurahk: Oh, that's right, I forgot.

 

*Guurahk vanishes*

 

Gurak: Trust me, I tend to get that a lot. Anyway, as I said before, I'd like a room here for four nights.

 

BEC: Okaygreatthatwillbe656485766widgetssohandoverthemoneyrightnowandI'llletyoustay!

 

Gurak: *waves hand* You don't need the money.

 

BEC: I...don't...need...the...money...

 

Gurak: I can stay for free.

 

BEC: You...can...stay...for...free...

 

*Gurak walks past the front desk and to the elevators*

 

BEC: Greatyou'llbeinroom932045enjoyyourstay!

 

Gurak: I love my Komau! :D

 

*Later, in the Manager's suite...*

 

BEC: Hi, Lewa, you wanted to see me up here?

 

Lewa: Yes. And you're not hyper any more?

 

BEC: The sugar wore off. We wouldn't happen to have any more, would we?

 

Takanuva: No.

 

Kopaka: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!

 

Lewa: Even if we did have more sugar, I wouldn't give it to you...

 

Fred: Amen, brother.

 

Lewa: At any rate, I called you up here because I noticed something weird about our profits for today. It seems that this Gurak guy got to stay for free...what do you have to say about that?

 

BEC: I have honestly no idea. I remember him staying here, but not much else...

 

Fred: It could be the Kraata of Number Control again.

 

Takanuva: I saw the whole thing! I can tell you exactly what happened! It was--

 

Lewa0111: Unfortunately, this mystery will have to wait until next chapter, because it's time to end--

 

*Freeze disk, Onu-Koro, power level 9 hits Lewa0111*

 

Gurak: *blows smoke off of disk launcher* Ha! The chapter can't end yet! You have to wait until the bellbottom finishes dragging up my suitcases to the 9,320th story!

 

*Pohatu is lugging five gigantic suitcases up the stairs to said story*

 

Pohatu: It's bellBOY, not bellbottom! And these suitcases are super heavy! What do you have in here, bricks?

 

Gurak: Well, of course! It's my brick collection. I go everywhere with it! Terracotta, mudbrick, concrete, ceramic, clay, limestone, you name the brick, it's in there!

 

Pohatu: WHY ME??? :crying:

 

THE END

 

Onua: But Pohatu's not done dragging the suitcases up yet!

 

Gurak: I know, but I got bored of watching him. So I decided to let the chapter end anyway.

 

Onua: This was a really short chapter...

 

Gurak: *shrugs* That's not my fault!

 

Narrator: Hey, only Onua's allowed to comment in these ending things!

 

Gurak: You mean extro?

 

Narrator: :bigeek: NOT YOU, TOO!

 

Lewa0111: Anybody mind helping me unfreeze?

 

Tahu: Sure thing! :evilgrin:

 

Lewa0111: Wait, that's not what I--

 

Tahu: BURN STUFF!

 

Bob the Word Counting Matoran: This chapter has 904 words.

 

~Lewa# Studios

 

:onfire: Lewa0111 Nuva :onfire:


Edited by Lewa0111 Nuva, Jun 28 2014 - 11:45 PM.

  • 0

My Script Comedies: | The Nuva Inn Remake | Ask Matau! Remake (ACCEPTING QUESTIONS!) |
My Prose Comedies: | The BZ-Nui Hack Wars | Mata Nova |

 

“MATAU! Did you replace those candies with chocolate-covered Madu?”

 

“Maybe…”

 

--Turaga Nokama and Turaga Matau, Why Toa Shouldn't Trick Or Treat

ANNOUNCEMENT: The Lewa# Studios Holiday Series kicks off again with Why Toa Shouldn't Trick Or Treat!


#60 Offline Elrond of Rivendell

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Posted Dec 03 2011 - 11:50 PM

Not in the beginning and the end!?!?!?!?!- The Bane!!!!!
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Gentlemen, it's time to spread the word. And the word is: Panic

 

life is not a question of how long we live, but what we do with the life we have



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#61 Offline A Toa Hero

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Posted Dec 04 2011 - 03:23 PM

Good job. I really like this comedy (and it is better than the old one), and this may be my favorite chapter(meaning 21. I guess I forgot to press send after 21 came out). I can't wait to see the next story arc...well you know, if Onua lets the Narrator actually write...

Edited by ToaTonyia toa of awesome, Dec 04 2011 - 03:33 PM.

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If you think that Justin Bieber sounds like an eight-year old girl hyped up on sugar, copy and paste this into your signature.
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#62 Offline Lewa0111 Nuva

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Posted Dec 15 2011 - 06:04 PM

If anyone has been checking my blog, you'll know that I have not been able to update for the last few weeks because our college's finals have been this week and last week. So I've been studying nonstop pretty much...but now they're finally over! So it's finally time for a new update!

 

The Nuva Inn

A BIONICLE comedy by Me!

Chapter :blink:: (Huh, weird, I meant Chapter 23...) To The Toa Tool Mart, Tahu! OR If "Mart" Started With T Then We Would Have Alliteration

 

Tava: Alliteration? Is that a type of pie?

 

Narrator: What? Of course not! It's a literary technique!

 

Tava: Literary Pies are delicious!

 

Narrator: You really do have a one-track mind, don't you?

 

Tava: Yep! :D

 

Onua: Hey! Tava, get out of the intro! Only I'm allowed to complain about the title with the Narrator!

 

Narrator: Who made that a rule?

 

Onua: Umm...Lewa0111 did?

 

Narrator: WHAT!?!?!?

 

Pohatu: By the way, I--

 

Onua: Get out of the intro already!

 

Tava: Pie! I made a Chapter Intro Pie!

 

Narrator: *sighs* Whatever. In this chapter, the Toa Nuva--

 

Fred, BEC, Gurak: HEY!

 

Narrator: --er, and others--are wondering what to do.

 

Takanuva: Gee, it sure is boring around here...

 

Onua: Mah boi, this peace is what all true Toa strive FOR!

 

Takanuva: I just wonder what Makuta's up to.

 

Gali: Really? A CD-I reference? That's what we've come to now?

 

Takanuva: No.

 

Kopaka: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

 

Lewa: I know what we should do! I should be manager!

 

Gali: Lewa, you're already the manager.

 

Lewa: Oh. Well, then I can be manager again!

 

Onua: I think we should give Tava a party to welcome him!

 

Onua: But he's been here for ages!

 

Lewa: :blink: Did you just argue with yourself?

 

Onua: Huh, no idea. I think somebody else was supposed to say my second line, but in the original chapter, it had me saying it accidentally.

 

Gali: Well, I guess Lewa0111 isn't infallible...

 

Lewa0111: HEY!

 

Gali: ...At least, the old Lewa0111 who wrote those earlier chapters wasn't infallible!

 

Lewa0111: Fair enough. If I wasn't, then why would I need to remake them?

 

Lewa: Very true!

 

Onua: Can we just get back on topic?

 

Takanuva: No.

 

Kopaka: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

 

Gali: You have a point, Onua. Let's welcome Tava, now that he's a Toa Nuva like us!

 

Fred: Great idea.

 

BEC: Will there be sugar at the party?

 

Fred: Unfortunately, that's very likely.

 

BEC: Okay, then I'm definitely in!

 

*BEC pulls a huge bag of sugar out of some random place and eats it all in one bite*

 

BEC: WHHEEEEEEEEEIlovebeinghyperlikethisitssofun! SugarissototallyawesomeIloveityayayayay! Ican'twaittohavesugaratTava'sparty!

 

Fred: *sighs* Here we go again...

 

*BEC starts bouncing off walls--literally--and Fred is barely hanging on*

 

Tahu: WAIT!

 

*BEC skids to a stop and crashes into Pohatu's face*

 

Tahu: We can't welcome Tava as a Toa yet! He doesn't have a Toa tool!

 

Takanuva: No.

 

Kopaka: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

 

Lewa: Good point. Then we should get him one!

 

Onua: So where did we buy our Toa tools again? I don't remember...

 

Gali: Don't you remember? We bought them at The Toa Tool Mart!

 

Lewa: All right, then! To The Toa Tool Mart, Tahu!

 

Onua: Hey, that's the title of this chapter!

 

Everyone Else: :blink:

 

Onua: Never mind.

 

Lewa: Wait a second. How will we make sure Tava doesn't notice us going? This is supposed to be a surprise, remember?

 

Onua: I think I know someone who can help us...

 

*Later...*

 

*Everyone except Tava is in the Toa Nuva's "car," which is really just the Ussanui glued to the Rahkshi's staffs to make it fly, and a bunch of car seats duct taped to the top*

 

Gali: Hey, Onua, I'm curious, how did you manage to get rid of Tava?

 

Onua: Well...let's just say it involved an insubstantial green Piraka, some Trash Can Pies, and a bottle of Energized Protodermis.

 

Gali: I won't ask.

 

Lewa: How exactly did we all manage to fit in this car, anyway?

 

Everyone: ...Good point.

 

Lewa: Okay, let's go! Tahu, take the wheel.

 

Tahu: :happydance:

 

*They start driving*

 

Takanuva: By the way, Tahu, did you ever learn to drive?

 

Tahu: Umm...learn? Well, not exactly...not really...no.

 

Everyone: :OMG:

 

Gali: Watch out for that tree!

 

Takanuva: Fence! FENCE!

 

Lewa: You're gonna hit that post!

 

Onua: Look out! Brick wall!

 

Kopaka: Ditch ahead!

 

Gali: Oh no! House! Watch out for that house!

 

BEC: Yikesthisisreallyscaryandridiculous! MystomachhurtsandIfeelreallysick! Somebodyletmeoffthisthing!

 

Fred: Now you know how I feel whenever you're on a sugar rush...

 

BEC: YeahIguessso...HEY!

 

*Tahu swerves abruptly around the traffic and some random dude honks his horn*

 

Tahu: What? What!? Did that guy just honk his horn at me? I'll teach that @#%#$&! guy to %&$@#@ honk his #$@&#$ horn at Tahu!

 

*The car screeches to a stop and Tahu jumps out*

 

Gali: This does not sound good. Time to take matters into my own hands!

 

*Gali drenches Tahu with water*

 

Tahu: ASIJOWIERJOIJBIHJZIJDIJROIWAOIERUIOHWOAIHUHDGOIJPOAIOUIWEHAISDHFUH!!

 

Takanuva: ...Maybe someone else should drive.

 

Kopaka: No.

 

Takanuva: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

 

Everyone: :huh:

 

Lewa: I think reality just imploded.

 

*Laterer, at The Toa Tool Mart...*

 

Store Person Guy Dude (SPGD): Hello, can I take your order?

 

Store Manager: *whispers* This isn't a fast food place!

 

SPGD: Oh, sorry. Anyway, how can I help you?

 

Lewa: ...Weird, we have the exact same problem at our hotel. Whatever, we need a Toa tool for our friend, Tava.

 

SPGD: Sure thing! What is his element?

 

Lewa: Pie.

 

SPGD: Seriously?

 

Lewa: Yep, it's pie.

 

SPGD: The number, or the food?

 

Lewa: Both, actually, believe it or not.

 

SPGD: :blink:

 

*Meanwhile, at The Nuva Inn...*

 

Tava: Hey! Zaktan, let me out of this trash can right now!

 

Zaktan: Or what, puny Toa punk?

 

Tava: Or else I won't ever let you have any pie ever again!

 

Zaktan: HA! What a worthless threat. I hate pie.

 

Tava: You...HATE...pie?

 

Zaktan: Yep!

 

*Tava faints*

 

Zaktan: *yawn* What a boring job. I hope the Toa get back soon...

 

*Back at The Toa Tool Mart*

 

SPGD: *holds up a Takanuva staff* Is this tool good?

 

Takanuva: No.

 

Kopaka: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!

 

Onua: Phew, at least things are back to normal...

 

*SPGD picks out one of Kopaka's ice swords*

 

SPGD: How about this one?

 

Kopaka: No.

 

Takanuva: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

 

Onua: Guess I spoke too soon.

 

Lewa: Wait, how about that one over there? It looks perfect for Tava!

 

*Lewa picks up a giant pie dish, with the pi symbol written as the handle*

 

SPGD: Oh, right. That's the Pie Dish of Pi and Pie. It gives the user amplified control over the elements of Pie and Pi.

 

Lewa: Great, we'll take it. How much?

 

SPGD: W99,999,999,999,999.

 

Lewa: :OMG: That's ridiculous!

 

CWG: I'll help out, don't worry.

 

*Suddenly 99,999,999,999,999 widgets appear out of nowhere in the cash register*

 

SPGD: I guess this works as payment...Okay, thanks for coming, bye!

 

Lewa: Thanks, let's go!

 

Tahu: @*&%(*@#&*&(#@"#^&*%"#@*%#^%$!*^#*&%$*#&*%^*@&*!&*#^%&@$%

 

Gali: He still needs some anger management...

 

*Meanwhile, at The Nuva Inn...*

 

Pohatu: Am I done yet?

 

Gurak: Only 999 more floors to go!

 

Pohatu: NOOOOOOOOOO!!

 

THE END

 

Onua: So, what, we just never got back to the Inn? We ended the chapter while we were still at The Toa Tool Mart!

 

Narrator: So? It was implied that you got back.

 

Onua: No it wasn't!

 

Narrator: I'm the narrator, and I say so! Be quiet!

 

Onua: I hate you.

 

Bob the Word Counting Matoran: This chapter has 1,132 words.

 

~Lewa# Studios

 

:mirunu: Lewa0111 Nuva :mirunu:


Edited by Lewa0111 Nuva, Jun 28 2014 - 11:58 PM.

  • 0

My Script Comedies: | The Nuva Inn Remake | Ask Matau! Remake (ACCEPTING QUESTIONS!) |
My Prose Comedies: | The BZ-Nui Hack Wars | Mata Nova |

 

“MATAU! Did you replace those candies with chocolate-covered Madu?”

 

“Maybe…”

 

--Turaga Nokama and Turaga Matau, Why Toa Shouldn't Trick Or Treat

ANNOUNCEMENT: The Lewa# Studios Holiday Series kicks off again with Why Toa Shouldn't Trick Or Treat!


#63 Offline Lewa0111 Nuva

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Posted Dec 17 2011 - 01:56 AM

No replies? Oh well, next chapter now!

 

The Nuva Inn

A BIONICLE comedy by Me!

Chapter 24: Tava's Pie (And Pi) Party OR Leroy And Stitch References? Now I've Seen Everything

 

Onua: Leroy and what now?

 

Narrator: Leroy And Stitch. It's a Disney movie that Lewa0111 had apparently recently watched when he wrote this chapter originally.

 

Onua: Oh, come on. That's lame.

 

Narrator: Why do you say that?

 

Onua: Disney isn't funny, it's dumb and childish! Way too childish for BZP!

 

Narrator: ...You do realize we're talking about a forum devoted to small plastic toys, right?

 

Onua: Touche.Narrator: Besides, some Disney movies can be pretty hilarious. What about the Emperor's New Groove and related movies/series? And Leroy And Stitch is pretty funny, too!

 

Onua: Okay, fine. All I have to say is that if there are any references, they had better be good references. And by "good," I mean "funny."

 

Narrator: Who made you the boss of everything?

 

Onua: Umm...Lewa did?

 

Lewa: No I did not!! Get back to your job and quit arguing with the Narrator all the time!

 

Onua: Sheesh, touchy touchy. But do I even have a job? If so, I sure don't remember it...

 

Lewa: Of course you have a job! I gave it to you in the job assignment chapter! I think it was Chapter 3 or so.

 

Onua: Enlighten me, please.

 

Lewa: Right, your job. Umm, Onua, your job is...umm...you know, your job...the one that's yours...the one I gave you...that job!

 

Onua: Still haven't told me what it is.

 

Lewa: Umm...anybody got a computer handy?

 

Onua: You mean even you don't know? But you're the one who gave me it in the first place!

 

Lewa: It's been so long and you never actually did your job during a chapter, that I forgot! I'll have to go look it up. I'll be back later.

 

*Lewa leaves*

 

Narrator: Umm...that was odd. Oh, well. Today, the Toa Nuva are making preparations for Tava's party, and Tava is still...incapacitated.

 

Tava: Hey, Zaktan! Can I come out yet? There's no pie in here!

 

Zaktan: NO! STAY IN THERE YOU CRAZY MATORAN!

 

Tava: Hey, that's Matoran Toa to you!

 

Zaktan: WHATEVER, YOU ANNOYING MATORAN TOA!

 

Tava: Oh, come on! Can I please come out now?

 

Zaktan: The answer is still no. Don't you know what "no" means?

 

Tava: Yes, in fact. Ahem. "No" [Noh]: 1. A statement usually used in terms of a contradictory manner for--

 

Zaktan: THAT WAS A RHETORICAL QUESTION! Don't you know what a rhetorical question is?

 

Tava: Of course! A rhetorical question is a question in which the speaker--

 

Zaktan: THAT WAS A RHETORICAL QUESTION TOO!

 

Tava: Shut up and just let me out of here!

 

Zaktan: No.

 

Thok: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!

 

Tava: :blink:

 

Narrator: Well, if we're done with the Leroy And Stitch references and bizarre running joke variations, let's just get back to the Toa Nuva. Tahu, Lewa, Takanuva, and Kopaka are driving back from a grocery store with food for the party.

 

*In the "car"...*

 

Tahu: *honks horn crazily* GET OUT OF MY WAY, YOU #&%@^@&$@*@*&@$*!&(%&*#&%(@*&^ SLOW DRIVER! TURAGA SHOULDN'T BE ON THE STREETS! MAKE WAY FOR TAHU, YOU #@*$*&*(^&@&@ING TRAFFIC! :burnmad:

 

Lewa: I knew we should have brought Gali with us...

 

Takanuva: No.

 

Kopaka: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!

 

*Tahu swerves through 60 lanes and cuts in front of a huge monster truck*

 

Takanuva: That doesn't look good...

 

Monster Truck Driver (MTD): Hey, you! What do you think you're honkin' at me for, you little red punk?

 

Tahu: :fear:

 

*Tahu, Takanuva, Kopaka, and Lewa start running frantically away*

 

MTD: GET BACK HERE! I'M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU, RED PUNK!!

 

Tahu: Meep.

 

*Back at The Nuva Inn...*

 

Gali: Well, most of the preparations are finished. All that's left to do is hang this sign that says "Happy International Tava Day!"

 

*Gali hangs up the sign over the entrance to the lobby, then steps back and notices that it now reads "Hapori's Intentional Lava Way"*

 

Gali: :blink:

 

KLC: :lol:

 

Gali: Hey, get back here, you annoying kraata!

 

BEC: HeyGaliwhen'sthesugargonnacomewhenisitwhenisitIreallywantsomesugarrightnow!

 

Fred: You want more sugar already? But you just ate five whole gallons of it!

 

BEC: Idon'tcareIwantmoresugarnownownow!

 

Fred: You're hopeless.

 

BEC: SomebodypleasegimmesugarI'msohyperwheeeee! :br:

 

Fred: I hate to have to do this, but...

 

*Vines come up from the ground and hold BEC still*

 

BEC: No! Now I can't be hyper anymore! :crying:

 

Fred: You say that like it's a bad thing.

 

*Lewa, Tahu, Kopaka, and Takanuva walk in, with Tahu covered in cartoony injuries*

 

Onua: Tahu, what happened to you?

 

Tahu: Don't ask...ugh.

 

*Tahu faints*

 

Tava (from inside trash can): Can I come out yet?

 

Takanuva: No.

 

Kopaka: AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!

 

Lewa: So, how are the party preparations coming, Gali?

 

Gali: We've got almost everything finished, though that annoying kraata changed our sign.

 

*Lewa looks up at the sign*

 

Lewa: "Hapori's Intentional Lava Way?" What does that even mean?

 

Gali: No idea. But right now, we're waiting for the food. Did you get it?

 

Takanuva: We've got it right here. We somehow managed to keep it safe despite Tahu's driving skills, or lack thereof.

 

Gali: Great, give it to Onua. He's the second best pie maker we have here, besides Tava, of course.

 

Onua: Okay, time to make a pie! Let me just go and get a few additional ingredients.

 

*Later...*

 

Onua: Okay, all finished!

 

*Onua pulls out a pie the size of Rhode Island (literally) that's shaped like the pie symbol*

 

Gali: Wow, that thing's huge!

 

Lewa: No kidding! Where did you get all of those ingredients? We definitely didn't spend enough money for all of that at the grocery store!

 

Onua: Umm...well...

 

Lewa: :bigeek: You did WHAT with my personal funds? That's it!

 

*Lewa starts chasing after Onua*

 

Kopaka: This won't end well.

 

Tava: Can I come out now?

 

Everyone Else: NO!

 

Tava: Wait a minute, PIE! PIE! I SMELL PIE! AISJOFIAJWOPEIJROQWJKJNHSDBVAHSIUFH!!

 

*Tava uses his pie powers to make a Bomb Pie and explodes the trash can*

 

Tava: Wow, that pie is huge! And it looks like PI! PIE AND PI ARE AWESOME!

 

Everyone Else: Happy International Tava Day, Tava!

 

Tava: I get my own International Day now? Cool!

 

Takanuva: Well, you are a Toa now!

 

Tava (In Stitch voice): No Nuva. Just Toa.

 

Takanuva: :sarcastic: Have you been watching Leroy And Stitch again?

 

Tava: Zaktan left a copy of it in the trash can somehow.

 

Lewa: Hey, so that's where those references started! ZAKTAN!

 

Zaktan: :fear:

 

Tava: PIE!!

 

*Tava eats the entire gigantic pie in one bite*

 

BEC: No sugar? :(

 

Tava: Wait, I can make pie any time I want with my elemental powers! FREE PIES FOR EVERYONE!

 

*Tava makes a million pies and starts randomly shooting them everywhere*

 

BEC: Yay, sugar in the pie! LAISAJDGISAFUKBGHSDKHGKSDHGIGJAOUIESHFUKAERHGJB!

 

*BEC eats a huge stack of pies*

 

BEC: YayIlovebeinghyperthisissoawesomehappyInternationalTavaDayTavathanksforthepiesitissofullofsugarIlovesugarandhypernesswheewoohooyay!

 

*BEC starts running around on the ceiling*

 

Lewa: Also, Tava, here's a present for you. We couldn't find a way to wrap it, since it's shaped really weirdly.

 

*Lewa pulls out the Pie Dish of Pie and Pi*

 

Tava: What is it?

 

Lewa: It's a Toa tool! The Pie Dish of Pie and Pi, so now you're officially a Toa of Pie and Pi!

 

Tava: Awesome! Thanks, Lewa! This thing is great!

 

*Tava uses the Pie Dish to launch rapid-fire pies everywhere*

 

Lewa: Glad you enjoyed it...welcome to the team!

 

Gali: Welcome, Tava!

 

Tava: :D

 

Pohatu: Gurak, am I done yet?

 

Gurak: Almost! Just keep going!

 

Pohatu: Ugh.

 

Narrator: Well, this seems as good a place to end the chapter as any...

 

THE END

 

Onua: What, you ended it just like that?

 

Narrator: Yeah, why?

 

Onua: That was the most abrupt and pointless ending ever! You just arbitrarily decided to end it!

 

Narrator: So what? I'm the narrator, I can do that if I want to!

 

Onua: Well, it's bad writing.

 

Narrator: No it isn't! Tava's party was a success, and Lewa gave him his gift! What more is there to write?

 

Onua: Some kind of epilogue would be nice, for starters...

 

Narrator: Isn't that what this is?

 

Onua: :mellow: You DO have a point there.

 

Bob the Word Counting Matoran: This chapter has 1,321 words.

 

~Lewa# Studios

 

:mirunu: Lewa0111 Nuva :mirunu:


Edited by Lewa0111 Nuva, Jun 29 2014 - 12:43 AM.

  • 0

My Script Comedies: | The Nuva Inn Remake | Ask Matau! Remake (ACCEPTING QUESTIONS!) |
My Prose Comedies: | The BZ-Nui Hack Wars | Mata Nova |

 

“MATAU! Did you replace those candies with chocolate-covered Madu?”

 

“Maybe…”

 

--Turaga Nokama and Turaga Matau, Why Toa Shouldn't Trick Or Treat

ANNOUNCEMENT: The Lewa# Studios Holiday Series kicks off again with Why Toa Shouldn't Trick Or Treat!


#64 Offline Lewa0111 Nuva

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Posted Dec 19 2011 - 07:04 PM

Wow, this comedy has gone down in popularity lately...no replies again? Oh well!

 

The Nuva Inn

A BIONICLE comedy by Me!

Chapter 25: More Guest Stars? Sheesh! OR Onua's Job

 

Onua: So, after 25 chapters, we finally remember that I'm supposed to have a job here? What kind of lazy writing is that?

 

Narrator: You already have a job, it's called "Arguing With The Narrator Every Single Chapter Intro."

 

Onua: How is that a job? I don't get paid to do this, you know...

 

Narrator: Well, I get paid by the word for being a narrator!

 

Onua: That's so it is fair and just! ...Wait, what the?

 

Narrator: HA! You got owned by the word filter!

 

Onua: *sighs* Whatever. Let's just go on with the chapter.

 

Lewa: Hey, Narrator, what kind of title is that? I like guest stars!

 

Onua: You're not allowed in this intro!

 

Lewa: I'm the manager, I can do whatever I want!

 

Takanuva: No.

 

Kopaka: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

 

Onua: But being in the intro is my joke!

 

Lewa: Not anymore, I just found out your job! You're the advertiser person, so get outside and start making advertisements for the hotel!

 

Onua: :bigeek: I have a JOB? Awesome, bye! Don't forget my paycheck!

 

Lewa: ...Wait, I have to pay him now? Maybe I shouldn't have said anything.

 

Narrator: Can we please stay on topic for once? Lewa, why do you like guest stars, anyway? They clutter up the comedy with needless characters!

 

Lewa: Well, they usually pay us tons of widgets, and they always make Pohatu do things! :D

 

Pohatu: Hey, I just got done lifting Gurak's suitcases up the stairs! Give me a break already!

 

Lewa: Nah, that isn't hilarious enough.

 

Pohatu: I hate you.

 

Narrator: AHEM! We open today's chapter with the two Galis talking with BEC at the front desk.

 

*At the front desk...*

 

Gali2: So how come you're always hyper if Lewa has been confiscating all the sugar in the building every day?

 

BEC: Easy! Every day at exactly 3:28 PM, a random Matoran shows up and gives me 25 bags of sugar to eat!

 

Gali1: Yeah right.

 

Gali2: Yeah right.

 

*BEC checks his watch*

 

BEC: Should happen any minute now...just watch!

 

*When the clock turns 3:28 PM, a random Matoran walks into the lobby, hands BEC a huge pile of bags of sugar, and then walks out*

 

Both Galis: :blink:

 

BEC: SeeItoldyousoithappenseverydayat3:28PMIalwayslookforwardtothisanditswhatIlivefor!

 

Gali1: That has got to be the weirdest thing I have ever heard of.

 

BEC: Noit'snotweirdit'stotallycoolandnormal! ThathappensallthetimeforsugarobsessedhyperMatoranlikeme!

 

Gali2: BEC? You might want to calm down. Someone's here.

 

*A very familiar guest star walks in*

 

Ultimato: I'm baaaaaaack! :evilgrin:

 

Gali2: Oh, no, not him again...

 

*Tava walks in*

 

Tava: Hi, guess what? I made a new type of pie, it's called a Traffic Light Pie! Want to try some?

 

*The sound of a very large vehicle crash is heard from outside*

 

Gali1: Where exactly did you get the ingredients for that, Tava?

 

Ultimato: I'll try some!

 

*Ultimato eats the pie, and then turns around and punches Gali2 in the face*

 

Gali2: Umm...what's with this guy?

 

Gali1: Beats me.

 

*An eggbeater appears and beats her*

 

Gali1: That was weird.

 

*A random Le-Matoran walks in*

 

BEC: HithererandomMatoranwouldyouliketostayatthehotel? WelcometoTheNuvaInnmynameisBECandIlikesugar!

 

Random Le-Matoran: Umm...my name's Killermike, and I can't understand you. Slow down.

 

BEC: Ican'tslowdownI'mwaytoohyperfromallofthissugar!

 

Fred: I'll help.

 

*Fred pulls out a randomly appeared recording device, records BEC's speech, then replays it slowed down by half*

 

Recording of BEC: Hi there, random Matoran, would you like to stay at the hotel? Welcome to The Nuva Inn, my name is BEC and I like sugar!

 

Killermike: That's much better, thank you. I'd like a room for a couple of knights.

 

Gali1: :huh: Umm, don't you mean "Nights?"

 

Killermike: No, I meant knights!

 

*Suddenly 2 knights in armor walk in and sit down*

 

Gali2: Looks like he really did mean knights.

 

BEC: Okaysoanywaywhatroomwouldyouliketoday?

 

*Fred plays the recording slowed down*

 

Recording of BEC: Okay, so anyway, what room would you like today?

 

*Killermike just stands there*

 

Fred: Umm, he said, WHAT ROOM WOULD YOU LIKE!?!?!?!?!?!?

 

Pohatu: By the way, I love exclamation points and question--

 

Everyone Else: DON'T USE THAT JOKE!!

 

Pohatu: Fine.

 

Killermike: Umm, room 4562, please. It's my favorite number!

 

BEC: :blink: Okayfineyou'reinroom4562that'llbe376485widgets!

 

*Fred plays back recording at a slower speed*

 

Recording of BEC: :blink: Okay, fine, you're in room 4562, that'll be 376,485 widgets!

 

Gali2: How can you slow down an emoticon?

 

Gali1: I have no idea.

 

Killermike: Okay, here's the widgets!

 

*Takanuva and Kopaka randomly walk in, with Takanuva eating a bunch of Pringles*

 

Killermike: Are those sour cream and onion Pringles??? I love Pringles gimme some right now!!

 

*Killermike attacks Takanuva*

 

Takanuva: Hey, get off me! These are original flavor anyway!

 

Killermike: They're not sour cream and onion?

 

Takanuva: No.

 

Kopaka: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHH!!

 

Killermike: Darn it! All that fighting for nothing!

 

Gali1: :superfunny:

 

*Killermike looks up and sees Gali1*

 

Killermike: :wub: Wow, hi! My name's Killermike. Want to go out on a date?

 

Gali1: *SLAP!*

 

*Nokama from Ask Matau! walks in*

 

Nokama: Hey, I have that copyrighted!

 

Keetongu: How many times do I have to tell you people that I have copyrights copyrighted???

 

Nokama: Umm...quick, I need a room! Here's some widgets, kthxbai!

 

*Nokama dumps a huge pile of widgets on the table and runs upstairs to her room with Keetongu chasing her angrily*

 

Killermike: That was weird...

 

Fred: That's the understatement of the millennium.

 

*Suddenly pepsi starts raining from the ceiling*

 

Killermike: YAY, PEPSI!! :happydance:

 

*Lewa walks into the lobby*

 

Lewa: Sorry about that, everyone, there's been a spill on the third floor. WHERE'S THE JANITATOR?

 

Kopaka: I'm right here. Fine, I'll clean it up.

 

*Kopaka picks up all of the pepsi and shoves it into Killermike's mouth*

 

Kopaka: What a convenient trash can!

 

Zaktan: Did someone say "trash can?"

 

Kopaka: Oh, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!

 

*Kopaka runs out of the hotel being chased by Zaktan*

 

Takanuva: Wow, I don't think we've ever seen him scream for any reason unrelated to me before...

 

Fred: Just out of curiosity, Lewa, who did spill that Pepsi?

 

Lewa: Umm, well...

 

*Tahu runs into the lobby*

 

Tahu: WHAT DO YOU MEAN I $%@& SPILLED? YOU'RE TALKING TO THE WRONG TOA HERE, YOU &$@@ LITTLE &@#$% GREEN PUNK!!

 

*Lewa runs off*

 

Gali1: Looks like Tahu's been spending way too much time with the Monster Truck Driver from the last chapter.

 

Gali2: You're telling me.

 

Killermike: Are you two twins?

 

Gali2: Actually, we're the same person.

 

*The two Galis combine again*

 

Killermike: :wub:

 

Ultimato: Hey, has anybody even remembered that I'm still standing here? I'd like a room...

 

BEC: ToobadI'mwaytoobusyeatingthissugar!

 

Ultimato: Figures.

 

*Krekka wanders into the hotel*

 

Krekka: Hey, I found some cauliflower!

 

*Krekka eats the cauliflower, but drops some which somehow lands in Ultimato's mouth*

 

Ultimato: Yum!

 

*Ultimato eats the cauliflower and punches Killermike in the face*

 

Killermike: Hey, what's with this guy? I didn't even do anything!

 

*Ultimato eats more cauliflower and punches Krekka in the face*

 

Krekka: Durrrrr...

 

Ultimato: When I eat food, I punch people in the face!

 

Killermike: You're weird.

 

Ultimato: HEY! Take this!

 

*Ultimato transforms into Killermike*

 

Ultimato: Mwahahaha! Now I'm you and you're me!

 

Killermike: Wait a minute, "I'm you and you're me..." Hey, that's a paradox!

 

*Two doctors walk in*

 

Killermike: No, not "pair of docs," I said "PARADOX!"

 

Doctors: Aww...

 

Gali: Get these doctors out of here.

 

*The doctors leave*

 

Lewa0111: This is getting...really random, even by my standards. I have to go, I'm extremely busy. Bye!

 

BEC: HuhwhatdoesthatevenmeanI'msoconfused! :???:

 

*Suddenly everything turns into chaos*

 

Auqohweuifhlkbhfjhksljvjhlish kuhmrehwciuwhgeiyvgtouie4yg4uirhkgkudhysgkjhdg

 

*Maybe I should just end the chapter already before this gets any more ridiculous*

 

Njwhrpiuapoiyuuiqwraihyulduhgiusyeus75yli8yeyshlughskdurhglstuhs

 

Narrator: No, I should!

 

*No, me!*

 

GJhjiaioehrglihgliusrhouglriuvhgkurvhiuweyfouiery7eyouirygoiuhljksdyhjh

 

Narrator: No, I want to end it!

 

Tava: In that case, I will!

 

THE PIE

 

Tava: Like it? PIE!!

 

Narrator: That was the worst ending sequence ever.

 

Tava: You're so mean!

 

Killermike: By the way, can somebody carry up my suitcases for me? I have my anvil collection inside them!

 

Pohatu: :OMG: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

 

Bob the Word Counting Matoran: This chapter has 1,305 words.

 

~Lewa# Studios

 

:mirunu: Lewa0111 Nuva :mirunu:


Edited by Lewa0111 Nuva, Jun 29 2014 - 01:07 AM.

  • 0

My Script Comedies: | The Nuva Inn Remake | Ask Matau! Remake (ACCEPTING QUESTIONS!) |
My Prose Comedies: | The BZ-Nui Hack Wars | Mata Nova |

 

“MATAU! Did you replace those candies with chocolate-covered Madu?”

 

“Maybe…”

 

--Turaga Nokama and Turaga Matau, Why Toa Shouldn't Trick Or Treat

ANNOUNCEMENT: The Lewa# Studios Holiday Series kicks off again with Why Toa Shouldn't Trick Or Treat!


#65 Online Toa of Gallifrey

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Posted Dec 20 2011 - 02:48 PM

LOL! Hilarious chapter XDDD *hands Tahu a brochure for anger management classes taught by Tuma and Stronius*
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"Now what will come out of this? A new mask of power? Some tooth-claw creature? A Matoran marching band?" - Lewa, The Final Battle

"Nothing is more important than my egomania!" - Clara Oswald, Deep Breath

"I AM A FLAMING MOLTRES!" - James, The Fortune Hunters

 

3DS FC: 2681-0566-5359


#66 Offline CrasherDasher

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Posted Dec 30 2011 - 12:49 PM

Great comedy! Can't wait for the next chapter!
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#67 Offline Elrond of Rivendell

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Posted Jan 14 2012 - 10:16 PM

Not Tava!!!! Why does he have to be soooooo obsessed with pie? I wonder what happened to killermike?-The Bane!!! http://www.bzpower.c...tyle_emoticons/default/fear.gif http://www.bzpower.c...tyle_emoticons/default/fear.gif :ninja:
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Gentlemen, it's time to spread the word. And the word is: Panic

 

life is not a question of how long we live, but what we do with the life we have



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#68 Offline Toa Kapurkar--Rail Blazer

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Posted Jan 16 2012 - 04:34 PM

I'm back!Great chapters, sorry I missed so much. When will the randomness end?
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#69 Offline Lewa0111 Nuva

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Posted Feb 10 2012 - 02:49 PM

Aaaaaaaaaaand I'm finally back from the extremely long hiatus, ready with a brand-new chapter of TNI for your reading enjoyment! I hope everyone enjoyed their time off from school/work/whatever over the holidays, and once again, I apologize for the long hiatus. My wireless connection and school stuff seem to have been working in tandem to keep me off BZPower. Anyhow:

 

The Nuva Inn

A BIONICLE comedy by Me!

Chapter 26: Olmak Options OR Of Course We'd Do This Plot Sooner Or Later

 

Onua: "Olmak Options?" So now we're including Vezon in this comedy? Sheesh. We've got enough characters as it is.

 

Narrator: Okay, first, who said anything about Vezon? And second, what’s wrong with lots of characters? Plenty of good comedies have many characters.

 

Onua: Vezon’s fused to the Olmak, remember?

 

Narrator: No he isn’t. The original chapter was written in ’06.

 

Onua: Yeah, so…?

 

Narrator: So the Vezon thing hasn't happened yet.

 

Onua: But this chapter is being written in 2012.

 

*Pohatu runs by*

 

Pohatu: OMG 2012 ITS TE EDN UV DA WERRLD!!1!!1one!one! :OMG:

 

Narrator: *sigh* Can we all just stop arguing timeline and focus on the chapter? This chapter features Brutaka, not Vezon!

 

Onua: Oh. Well, why didn't you just say so?

 

Narrator: :facepalm:

 

Onua: You know, that still doesn't change the fact that this comedy has way too many characters as it is. Adding Brutaka or Vezon will just make things worse!

 

Narrator: THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH LOTS OF CHARACTERS!

 

Onua: Yes there is. If there are too many characters, then unimportant characters will get less of a role in the comedy! Remember the original? I was barely in it!

 

Narrator: Exactly. There's nothing wrong with too many characters!

 

Onua: ...I hate you.

 

Narrator: We come back to the Toa Nuva in the lobby doing random stuff, as usual.

 

BEC: Finally, it's almost time for sugar! 58 seconds...59...60!

 

*At exactly 3:28 PM, a random Matoran runs into the lobby and hands BEC a huge pile of sugar, then walks out*

 

Tahu: Uhh...okay?

 

BEC: YayforsugarnowI'mhyperIlovesugarandIlovebeinghyperwheeeeyayayayayayayay!

 

Fred: Okay, that's enough hyperness already. You can stop now.

 

BEC: NowayIdon'twannastopit'sonlybeenafewsecondsthisiswaytoofuntostop!

 

Fred: Ugh. I'm going to be sick...

 

*Gali enters the lobby*

 

Gali: What's going on here now?

 

BEC: GaliGaliGalilookatmeI'msohyperbecausethatrandomMatoranjustgavemesugar!

 

Fred: SOMEBODY STOP THIS CRAZY THING I WANT TO GET OFF! :sick:

 

Gali: *sighs* Why is this place so insane?

 

*Brutaka walks in*

 

Brutaka: Umm, hello? Can I stay here for a few nights?

 

BEC: Whatwhoareyouwowyou'rereallybigokaywhatdidyouwant?

 

Brutaka: What?

 

Fred: Time to get out the recording thing again I guess.

 

Recording of BEC: What, who are you? Wow, you're really big! Okay, what did you want?

 

Brutaka: I already told you, I want to stay here for a few nights.

 

BEC: Okayhangonasecletmeseehere...

 

*Fred plays back the recording again*

 

Recording of BEC: Okay, hang on a sec. Let me see here...

 

*BEC scans the computer database for a while, then looks up*

 

BEC: Sorryitlookslikenoneofourbedsarebigenoughtofityousogoawaybye!

 

Recording of BEC: Sorry, it looks like none of our beds are big enough to fit you, so go away, bye!

 

Brutaka: WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?

 

Pohatu: By the way, I love exclamation points and question--

 

BEC: DON'TUSETHATJOKE!

 

Pohatu: Darn...

 

*Pohatu walks off somewhere*

 

Brutaka: WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN'T STAY HERE!?!?!?

 

Gali: Umm, can you please calm down? You're just too tall for any of our beds, except for the room that Roodaka and Sidorak are staying in right now. Other than that, there aren't any more titan-sized rooms.

 

Brutaka: :burnmad:

 

BEC: Heynowaitdon'tusethatemoticon--

 

Fred: Too late.

 

*The force of the "burnmad" emoticon combines with Brutaka's mask power to create a huge vortex that sucks the entire cast of TNI in, and they appear high in the air, immediately falling to the ground and crashing through the roof of a conveniently placed bank*

 

Lewa: *rubs head* Ouch, my head. Where are we?

 

Onua: I don't know, let's start mining! Yay!

 

Tahu: Your stereotypicalness isn't helping matters! BURN STUFF!

 

Gali: Hypocrite.

 

Lewa: Huh, what's this weird stuff? *Walks over to a gigantic pile of 100 dollar bills filling the entire room*

 

Onua: I think it's money!

 

Lewa: HA! That's a good one, Onua...everyone knows money is hard and looks like gears! This stuff is useless, I think I'll just get rid of it.

 

*Lewa uses his air powers to blow all of the money out of the safe and into the air*

 

Lewa: Finally, good riddance!

 

Gali: So, uh...does anyone have any ideas on how to get out of this place?

 

Fred: I've got an idea! Anybody got any sugar?

 

Takanuva: No.

 

Kopaka: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!

 

Fred: Never mind, then.

 

Tahu: How about we burn the door off? BURN STUFF!

 

*Tahu blasts fire at the door of the safe, but nothing happens*

 

Tahu: :(

 

Gali: Of course that wouldn't work, Tahu, haven't you learned anything from spending time with me? Unity is the answer to everything!

 

Tahu: Figures.Gali: Let's combine our powers! WATER!

 

Tahu: FIRE!

 

Pohatu: STONE!

 

Onua: EARTH!

 

Lewa: MONEY! ...I mean AIR!

 

Kopaka: Ice.

 

Takanuva: LIGHT!

 

Fred: PLANTS!

 

BEC: SUGAR!

 

Tava: PIE!

 

Gali: ...Sugar and pie are now elements?

 

*The combined blasts of everyone's powers hits the door of the safe, but just combines to create a huge glob of energized protodermis*

 

Lewa: Epic fail.

 

Onua: ...

 

Kopaka: Hey, that's my line.

 

Gali: Well, in theory it should have worked, now what?

 

*The door suddenly opens on its own accord, and a guy named [CENSORED!] and who looks like [CENSORED!] enters*

 

Guy: Hi, I'm here to get my money out and-- :bigeek: HOLY JUMPING HAPORI MONKEYS ON A TOHU STICK WHERE DID ALL MY MONEY GO AND WHY ARE THERE BIONICLE CHARACTERS IN MY VAULT!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

 

Pohatu: By the way, I love exclamation points and--

 

Everyone Else (including the guy): DON'T USE THAT JOKE!

 

Pohatu: :(

 

Lewa0111: Hey, wait a minute, I know you...

 

Guy: Hey, it's my BZP self! What are you doing here?

 

Onua: So that's the human version of Lewa0111, huh? Weird.

 

Gali: At least we don't have to call him "Guy" anymore.

 

Random French Person Named Guy: There's nothing wrong with my name! *vanishes*

 

Lewa: That was weird.

 

Human Lewa0111: So, how exactly did you wind up in my vault? And where did my money go?

 

Lewa0111: Well, there was a bit of an incident this afternoon involving Brutaka, a lack of vacancies, and a "burnmad" emoticon. As for the money, well, Lewa blasted it all away.

 

Human Lewa0111: Well, that does explain why it randomly started raining money on my way here...Anyway, I'll look for the money later. Let's just get out of here.

 

*The human Lewa0111 leads the TNI characters out of the bank and onto a street, where tons of people are walking around*

 

Gali: What are these weird pale things walking around?

 

Kopaka: And what's that on their heads?

 

Pohatu: It's called fur!

 

Takanuva: No.

 

Kopaka: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!

 

Human Lewa0111: Actually, it's hair.

 

Tava: PIE! *points to a huge pie on a Baker's Square sign*

 

All TNI Characters: :blink:

 

Krekka: :dunce:

 

*A kid walks up*

 

Kid: Hey! Is that SUGAR!? ASOIEFJOAIJSGFOIAGKOJIASDOIRJEASRJIGKLAOIWUEPOJGSKLJ!! WheeIlovebeing hyper!

 

Lewa: *whispering to Onua* Ten widgets says that's BEC's human self.

 

Onua: *whispering* You're on.

 

Pohatu: Widgets can talk!?

 

Lewa: :glare: We already used that joke a few chapters ago!

 

Pohatu: ...Oh.

 

BEC: Hi, human me! Want to eat sugar?

 

Human BEC: Sure!

 

*The two BEC's run off to eat sugar*

 

Lewa: Ten widgets for me! Cool!

 

Onua: Fine...

 

*Onua gives Lewa the widgets*

 

Gali: Hey, has anyone seen Tava?

 

Takanuva: No.

 

Kopaka: AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!!

 

Gali: Seriously, guys, Tava missing is never a good sign.

 

*They hear a shout of "PIE!!" from inside the nearby Baker's Square*

 

Lewa: I think we found him.

 

*Tava comes running out with his mouth stuffed full of pies, while being chased by the Baker's Square Guy*

 

Baker's Square Guy: Hey, pie thief! Come back here, you weird robot thing!

 

Tava: He called me weird! :crying:

 

Tahu: But you are weird...

 

Tava: Yes, but when you guys call me weird it's normal. When other people call me normal, it's normal. When you guys call me normal, it's weird, and when other people call me weird, it's offensive!

 

Tahu: I'm confused!

 

Everyone: :blink:

 

Krekka: :dunce:

 

Nidhiki: Get out of here, Krekka.

 

Krekka: Duuuhhh...okay!

 

Human Lewa0111: I see you guys brought all the insanity with you. Let's just go to my house.

 

Lewa0111: Sounds good to me!

 

*Later, at the human Lewa0111's house, which is located at [CENSORED]...seriously, this whole censoring Lewa0111's real life information is getting old...

 

*Pohatu: Hey, look! An action figure of me! *picks up Pohatu Nuva figurine*

 

Lewa: There's an action figure of all of us, you dolt.

 

Onua: That's not even a word!

 

Lewa: Yes it is! I love the word "dolt!"

 

Human Lewa0111: Fine. Let's look it up.

 

*Human Lewa0111 grabs a dictionary and flips to the "D" page*

 

Human Lewa0111: Let's see...Dole, Dome. Nope, not in here.

 

Onua: Ha!

 

Lewa: *randomly doing a Strakk impression* Alvite. You vin.

 

Gali: ...Umm, how and why are you impersonating a character who won't even exist for another three or so storyline years?

 

Lewa: The beauty of remakes.

 

Onua: Hey, human Lewa0111! You have a life-size Brutaka figure too? That's so awesome!

 

Human Lewa0111: What? ...That's not mine. How did it get there?

 

Lewa0111: I think that's the real Brutaka. He's just asleep for some random reason. No idea why he wound up here of all places, though.

 

Gali: Perfect! Now all we have to do is wake him up, and we can get back home!

 

Tava: I'll do it! Alarm Clock Pie in the face!

 

*Tava pies Brutaka in the face with an Alarm Clock Pie, which starts incessantly blaring in Brutaka's ears*

 

Brutaka: *wakes up* HEY!

 

Gali: Uh-oh...maybe this wasn't the best idea in the world.

 

Brutaka: WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE AREN'T ANY CHICKENS HERE!?!?!?!?

 

Pohatu: By the--

 

Human Lewa0111: Don't you start.

 

Brutaka: That's it, you stupid little Toa! Face the power of the Olmak! That's what you get for not letting me stay at the chickens!

 

Gali: Wait, what?

 

*Brutaka generates a dimensional vortex that sucks all of the TNI characters (including BEC) back into the BIONICLE world, dropping them all in the lobby of The Nuva Inn*

 

Lewa: That was weird.

 

Fred: Understatement of the millennium.

 

Gali: Well, at least we're finally home, if not in quite the way we expected...

 

Lewa0111: Come back, my other self!!

 

BEC: Come back, my other self!!

 

Krekka: :dunce:

 

Nidhiki: I thought I told you to go away!

 

Krekka: Duuuuuuuhh...I thought you said to "know a bay!"

 

Nidhiki: :facepalm: Why do I bother?

 

THE END

 

Lewa0111: I miss me.

 

Narrator: But you are you...

 

BEC: I miss me too!

 

Onua: Hey, you two aren't allowed in the ending thing!

 

Narrator: You mean the "extro?"

 

Onua: ...Whaaaaaaaaaaaa?

 

Lewa0111: I can be wherever I want, since I'm the author, so there!

 

Onua: Oh, right. Sorry. BEC's not the author, though, so...

 

*Onua summons a huge rolling pile of dirt to chase BEC*

 

BEC: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!

 

Kopaka: My line!

 

Bob the Word Counting Matoran: This chapter has 1,759 words.

 

~Lewa# Studios

 

:mirunu: Lewa0111 Nuva :mirunu:


Edited by Lewa0111 Nuva, Jun 29 2014 - 01:35 AM.

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My Script Comedies: | The Nuva Inn Remake | Ask Matau! Remake (ACCEPTING QUESTIONS!) |
My Prose Comedies: | The BZ-Nui Hack Wars | Mata Nova |

 

“MATAU! Did you replace those candies with chocolate-covered Madu?”

 

“Maybe…”

 

--Turaga Nokama and Turaga Matau, Why Toa Shouldn't Trick Or Treat

ANNOUNCEMENT: The Lewa# Studios Holiday Series kicks off again with Why Toa Shouldn't Trick Or Treat!


#70 Offline Elrond of Rivendell

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Posted Feb 10 2012 - 03:38 PM

Heeeeesss back! Whoopie!!!! Anyway, best parts we those with plot holes:

Lewa: *randomly doing a Strakk impression* Alvite. You vin.Gali: ...Umm, how and why are you impersonating a character who won't even exist for another three or so storyline years?Lewa: The beauty of remakes.

love it!!!-bane

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#71 Offline SkywardStriker16

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Posted Feb 10 2012 - 03:40 PM

Good to see you back after a month or so. I read "The Night Before Naming Day", all previous 25 chapters, and never posted. But now I'm here. I am Tahu: Toa of Gold. This is an awesome script comedy. The running jokes and humor are great. KUTGW, Lewa0111!~TTG~
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THE ASHES - The not-so-long-awaited-but-somewhat-appreciated sequel to The Fire Chronicles.

THE ANNIVERSARY EDITION OF TAHU - The rewritten-but-still-somewhat-original comedy that started it all.

Hey guys, sorry that it's been a while, but with the return of BIONICLE I couldn't resist coming back to my old home. Can't wait to reimmerse myself in this great place!

-Striker out

 

 

 


#72 Offline Toa Kapurkar--Rail Blazer

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Posted Feb 11 2012 - 02:59 AM

How did those hilanders defeat...OH! YOU'RE BACK! YAY!Oh right, the chapter. Excellent job. It does seem a little implausible that with 9,000+ rooms, only one is titan-sized.
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#73 Offline Lewa0111 Nuva

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Posted Feb 13 2012 - 01:41 PM

Thanks, everyone for the replies!

 

@Tahu Nuva: Thanks, and welcome! It's always nice to see new fans of my work!

 

@Kapurkar: You can blame Takanuva for the room issue. XD

 

The Nuva Inn

A BIONICLE comedy by Me!

Chapter 27: The Dark Hunter Date OR What The Cauliflower?

 

Narrator: (in a game show voice) Welcome to...THE NUVA INN!

 

Onua: Hey, you're just copying Chapter 1!

 

Narrator: Fine. In this chapter, we find our new hotel owners preparing for--

 

Onua: Now you're copying Chapter 2.

 

Narrator: Hmph. You're so picky. We now find the Toa Nuva in their hotel, preparing for the grand opening.

 

Onua: The grand opening already happened 24 chapters ago, and you're just copying Chapter 3!

 

Narrator: Okay, fine, then. What chapter can I copy that won't make you upset?

 

Onua: None of them! You should be original and not just copy yourself all the time! That's plagiarism!

 

Narrator: :huh: You can plagiarize yourself? That makes no sense!

 

Onua: Yes, you can! I said so, so there!

 

Narrator: But then, if that's true, isn't Lewa0111 plagiarizing himself right now by rewriting his old comedy? I mean, he's using the same exact plots and such that he used last time. So technically this comedy should be closed for plagiarism, and therefore you would stop existing as a character. Maybe you ought to rethink your definition of plagiarism.

 

Onua: ...I hate you.

 

Narrator: Anyway, it doesn't matter, because for once we aren't starting this chapter at the hotel! This chapter begins on the island of Odina, home to the Dark Hunters.

 

Onua: What, really?

 

Narrator: Yep.

 

Onua: :OMG: PLOT TWIST! *faints*

 

*Inside the Dark Hunter Fortress, on Odina...*

 

Nidhiki: Lariska... :wub:

 

*Krekka walks in*

 

Krekka: Duuuuuuuuuuuuuhhh...Nidhiki, what are you doing?

 

Nidhiki: Lariska... :wub:

 

Krekka: Wut?

 

Nidhiki: Lariska...I just adore her...

 

Krekka: Okay...so do you want some cauliflower?

 

Nidhiki: WHAT? NO!! :burnmad: What does that have to do with anything, anyway?

 

Krekka: Cauliflower! It rhymes with Lariska!

 

Nidhiki: No it doesn't, you dimwitted excuse for a whatever your species is called!

 

Krekka: My species is called a Krekka!

 

Nidhiki: No, that's your name, moron.

 

Krekka: It is? Really?

 

Nidhiki: :facepalm:

 

Krekka: That's my favorite emoticon!

 

Nidhiki: It's not even a real emoticon.

 

Krekka: WHAT!? Now my life has no meaning! WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!

 

*Krekka runs off crying*

 

Nidhiki: Lariska...

 

*Lariska walks in*

 

Lariska: Hi, Nidhiki. Did you call my name just now?

 

Nidhiki: What? Lariska...umm...sure...I...what...duuuuuuuuuuhhh?

 

Lariska: I think you've been spending too much time with Krekka. Anyway, did you want to go somewhere?

 

Nidhiki: :wub: Lariska...uuuuuuuhhhhhggghhuuu...

 

Lariska: I'll take that as a yes.

 

Nidhiki: aiuhdoihaoirsulkrdzyxjkhekusthwouahwogest

 

Lariska: You really need to get out more. You're slowly turning into Krekka.

 

Nidhiki: Uh, what? Right. Where did you want to go?

 

Lariska: How about lunch? We could go to the restaurant in The Nuva Inn...

 

Nidhiki: NO! Not The Nuva Inn! I hate that place!

 

Lariska: Really? Why?

 

Nidhiki: They shoved me out of the hotel on a conveyor belt once!

 

Lariska: Um...okay? Anyway, I really want to go there!

 

Nidhiki: No way.

 

Lariska: PLEASE?

 

Nidhiki: :wub: Okay!

 

*At The Nuva Inn, in Lewa's manager suite...*

 

Lewa: (singing) Dum de dum de dee de doo, I'm the manager not you! Dum de dum de dee de doo, So that really stinks for you!

 

Tahu: Hey, Lewa!

 

Lewa: *stops singing* WHAT?

 

Tahu: Umm...what are you doing?

 

Lewa: Totally not dancing around and singing about how awesome it is to be a manager. ...I'm doing important manager stuff!

 

Tahu: Right. Sure.

 

Lewa: What did you want?

 

Tahu: We have some customers at our restaurant!

 

Lewa: So? We get customers all the time!

 

Tahu: But these customers are Dark Hunters!

 

Lewa: WHAT!?!?!?!?!?

 

*Pohatu walks in*

 

Pohatu: By the way, I love--

 

Tahu & Lewa: DON'T USE THAT JOKE!

 

Pohatu: :(

 

*Pohatu leaves*

 

Lewa: ...Hold on a second. Do these Dark Hunters have money?

 

Tahu: Yes.

 

Lewa: Oh, well, in that case, it's okay. Just serve them normally. I'm busy.

 

Tahu: But--

 

Lewa: I have important managery things to take care of! Just serve the Dark Hunters and make sure they pay!

 

Tahu: But--

 

Lewa: GO!

 

Tahu: Fine.

 

*Tahu goes down to the restaurant*

 

Lewa: (singing) Dum de dum de dee de doo, I'm the manager not you...

 

*Back in the restaurant...*

 

Nidhiki: Is there anything on this menu that doesn't contain pie???

 

Tava: PIE!!

 

Nidhiki: Well, is there?

 

Takanuva: *dressed like a waiter* No.

 

Kopaka: *also dressed like a waiter* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

 

Nidhiki & Lariska: :blink:

 

Lariska: Actually, Nidhiki, that's okay. I love pie!

 

Nidhiki: Really? Okay, never mind, then.

 

*Krekka wanders in*

 

Krekka: Hi!

 

Nidhiki: :bigeek: KREKKA WHAT IN MAKUTA TERIDAX'S NAME ARE YOU DOING HERE YOU MISERABLE EXCUSE FOR A WHATEVER YOUR SPECIES IS CALLED!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

 

Pohatu: By the way--

 

Nidhiki: Shut up, Toa.

 

*Pohatu leaves*

 

Krekka: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...I'm looking for cauliflower.

 

Lariska: Huh?

 

Nidhiki: He didn't say Cauliflower! He said...uhh...Lauliflower! It's the name of his girlfriend.

 

Lariska: He has a girlfriend??

 

Nidhiki: Um, yeah! Of course!

 

Lariska: Today wouldn't be opposite day by chance, would it?

 

*Later, in the kitchen...*

 

Tahu: Sorry, but I kinda burned it, Tava...whoops.

 

*Tahu shows him a huge plate with nothing but a smoking ruin of ashes on it*

 

Tava: You DARED burn pie? Pie is sacred! Pie is just!

 

Tahu: Oh, come on, you obsessed Toa of Pie! It's just pie!

 

Tava: Pie is the element that sustains us all! Without Pie, we are but empty pie dishes in the wind! ...Of pie.

 

Tahu: You're weird. Go form a religion, then, if it's so important to you.

 

Tava: Good idea, thanks! Bye now!

 

*Tava leaves*

 

Tahu: Why do I suddenly have a really, really bad feeling about this?

 

*Gali, Takanuva, and Kopaka walk into the kitchen*

 

Gali: What are you doing, Tahu?

 

Tahu: What else? Burning stuff!

 

Gali: Stop.

 

Tahu: No.

 

Takanuva: What he said.

 

Kopaka: What he said AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

 

Tahu & Gali: :blink:

 

Gali: Kopaka, you'd better go and give them their food now.

 

Kopaka: I'm on it.

 

*Kopaka takes the burnt food and goes back to the table*

 

Kopaka: Here's your dinner, or what's left of it...

 

Lariska: WHAT DID YOU DO TO OUR FOOD??

 

Nidhiki: I paid W20 for THIS? That's it! I'm having a word with the chef.

 

Krekka: Gimme some Cauliflower!!

 

Lariska: Weird, I could have sworn he said Cauliflower...

 

*Nidhiki barges into the kitchen*

 

Nidhiki: I demand a word with the chef!!

 

Tahu: Get this barge out of here! It doesn't even fit in the kitchen!

 

Onua: I'm on it!

 

*Onua uses his mask to pick up the barge and throw it out the window*

 

Tahu: Thanks. As for you, Nidhiki, didn't you read the sign? It says "Employees Only!" And you aren't an employee!

 

Nidhiki: It didn't say "Employees Only," it said "Emperors Obi!"

 

KLC: Ha, ha!

 

Tahu: Somebody better catch that darn kraata...

 

Nidhiki: Look, I demand either a new dinner or a refund! Immediately!

 

Tahu: Okay, okay, hang on. I'll just go and have a word with the manager.

 

*Tahu leaves*

 

Nidhiki: Fine.

 

*In the Manager's Suite*

 

Tahu: Lewa?

 

Lewa: What? I'm busy!

 

*Lewa quickly hides the TV remote and smoothie behind his massage chair*

 

Tahu: I accidentally the dinner.

 

Lewa: :huh: You accidentally what the dinner? Accidentally cooked it? Accidentally exploded it? Accidentally infected it with radiation? Accidentally mutated it? Accidentally used it as an excuse to suggest that Tava forms a religion based on pie? Accidentally sold it to Destral? Accidentally tranformed it into a rubber tuba? What?

 

Tahu: I accidentally burned it. And now the Dark Hunters want a refund.

 

Lewa: REFUND? NEVER! IT'S MY PRECIOUS MONEY WE'RE TALKING ABOUT HERE!

 

Tahu: Isn't it our money? Not just yours?

 

Lewa: Umm...sure, right, whatever. Just figure it out yourself. Make them a new dinner or distract them with hilarity, I don't care.

 

Tahu: Okay, I will.

 

Lewa: Now get out so I can finish my important managery stuff!

 

*Tahu goes back to the kitchen*

 

Lewa: He'd better not give back one centiwidget of my money...*sips smoothie*

 

*Back at the Dark Hunter table in the restaurant...*

 

Krekka: Hi Nidhiki! Can I have some cauliflower now?

 

Lariska: What did he say?

 

Nidhiki: Umm...uhh..."Tollywater!" It's his favorite drink.

 

Lariska: You made that up!

 

Nidhiki: ...Maybe?

 

*Takanuva comes out with a bunch of cauliflower*

 

Krekka: Yay! Cauliflower!

 

Nidhiki: What's this cauliflower for?

 

Krekka: Me!

 

Takanuva: Your friend here.

 

Nidhiki: He's not my friend!

 

Lariska: What?

 

Krekka: Duhh...

 

Nidhiki: :facepalm:

 

Takanuva: That isn't a real emoticon.

 

*Krekka eats the cauliflower*

 

Krekka: Yuck! What is this stuff? *spits it back out*

 

Lariska: That's disgusting!

 

Nidhiki: Krekka, it's cauliflower.

 

Krekka: Cauliflower? Really? Yum!

 

*Krekka repeatedly eats the cauliflower, spits it back out, eats it again, spits it back out again, etc.*

 

Nidhiki: I already told you, YOU DON'T LIKE CAULIFLOWER!

 

Krekka: Whaaaaaaaaaaaa...really? Duuuh, what?

 

Lariska: This is the worst date ever! That does it, I'm leaving!

 

Nidhiki: (in slow motion voice) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

 

Krekka: Huh?

 

*Lariska turns around*

 

Lariska: What the cauliflower?

 

THE END

 

Onua: That was an exceedingly odd chapter. Half the cast didn't even appear!

 

Narrator: So? This comedy has a lot of characters. Some chapters will only focus on some of them!

 

Onua: But I only got two lines!

 

Narrator: And they were hilarious!

 

Onua: No they weren't, they were just part of a lame pun.

 

Narrator: Geez, now everyone's a critic. Or at least everyone named Onua.

 

Onua: Hey!

 

Lariska: What's with this place, anyway?

 

Onua: No Dark Hunters allowed!

 

Krekka: (in slow motion) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

 

Nidhiki: That's my line!

 

Onua: *sigh*

 

Bob the Word Counting Matoran: This chapter has 1,547 words.

 

~Lewa# Studios

 

:mirunu: Lewa0111 Nuva :mirunu:


Edited by Lewa0111 Nuva, Jun 29 2014 - 03:30 AM.

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My Script Comedies: | The Nuva Inn Remake | Ask Matau! Remake (ACCEPTING QUESTIONS!) |
My Prose Comedies: | The BZ-Nui Hack Wars | Mata Nova |

 

“MATAU! Did you replace those candies with chocolate-covered Madu?”

 

“Maybe…”

 

--Turaga Nokama and Turaga Matau, Why Toa Shouldn't Trick Or Treat

ANNOUNCEMENT: The Lewa# Studios Holiday Series kicks off again with Why Toa Shouldn't Trick Or Treat!


#74 Offline CrasherDasher

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Posted Feb 13 2012 - 04:18 PM

My favorite part:

*In the Manager's Suite*Tahu: Lewa?Lewa: What? I'm busy!*Lewa quickly hides the TV remote and smoothie behind his massage chair*Tahu: I accidentally the dinner.Lewa: :huh: You accidentally what the dinner? Accidentally cooked it? Accidentally exploded it? Accidentally infected it with radiation? Accidentally mutated it? Accidentally used it as an excuse to suggest that Tava forms a religion based on pie? Accidentally sold it to Destral? Accidentally tranformed it into a rubber tuba? What?Tahu: I accidentally burned it. And now the Dark Hunters want a refund.Lewa: REFUND? NEVER! IT'S MY PRECIOUS MONEY WE'RE TALKING ABOUT HERE!Tahu: Isn't it our money? Not just yours?Lewa: Umm...sure, right, whatever. Just figure it out yourself. Make them a new dinner or distract them with hilarity, I don't care.Tahu: Okay, I will.Lewa: Now get out so I can finish my important managery stuff!*Tahu goes back to the kitchen*Lewa: He'd better not give back one centiwidget of my money...*sips smoothie*

:lol: !

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#75 Offline Toa Kapurkar--Rail Blazer

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Posted Feb 13 2012 - 07:25 PM

If only my chapter posting time could be anywhere close to yours...Oh right, the chapter. What can I say, other than that I think this is a totally new side of Nidhiki in this comedy? Not much. You did an excellent job.How would one fit a barge in a kitchen?
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#76 Offline Dralcax

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Posted Feb 13 2012 - 08:53 PM

Wait, I thought Lariska liked Hakaan. Oh, and where did Nidhiki get the barge, and is Tava going to worship pie now?
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eW9kyVR.png


#77 Offline Elrond of Rivendell

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Posted Feb 14 2012 - 01:32 PM

If only my chapter posting time could be anywhere close to yours...Oh right, the chapter. What can I say, other than that I think this is a totally new side of Nidhiki in this comedy? Not much. You did an excellent job.How would one fit a barge in a kitchen?

One piece at a time:PAnyway, Good chapter, I love the krekka conundrum (hey, it kinda rhymes!)

*Krekka eats the cauliflower*Krekka: Yuck! What is this stuff? *spits it back out*Lariska: That's disgusting!Nidhiki: Krekka, it's cauliflower.Krekka: Cauliflower? Really? Yum!*Krekka repeatedly eats the cauliflower, spits it back out, eats it again, spits it back out again, etc.*Nidhiki: I already told you, YOU DON'T LIKE CAULIFLOWER!

-Bane

Edited by Rocka's Bane, Feb 14 2012 - 01:35 PM.

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Gentlemen, it's time to spread the word. And the word is: Panic

 

life is not a question of how long we live, but what we do with the life we have



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#78 Offline Lewa0111 Nuva

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Posted Feb 18 2012 - 06:10 PM

Thanks for the replies! As for the barge, well, how else does one "barge" into a kitchen? :P

 

The Nuva Inn

A BIONICLE comedy by Me!

Chapter 28: The First Church Of Pieism OR Tava Goes Completely Insane (Not That He Wasn't Before)

 

Onua: Uh-oh. This could be bad for the entire universe.

 

Narrator: What makes you say that?

 

Onua: Just look at the chapter titles. That just screams trouble, especially considering it seems Tava, of all people, is the focus.

 

Narrator: Well, Onua, you know Tahu's actually the one to blame for it in the first place.

 

Onua: What? Yeah, right.

 

Narrator: It's true. Remember this scene from the previous chapter?

 

Tava: Pie is the element that sustains us all! Without Pie, we are but empty pie dishes in the wind! ...Of pie.

 

Tahu: You're weird. Go form a religion, then, if it's so important to you.

 

Tava: Good idea, thanks! Bye now!

 

Narrator: See? So if you want to complain, go complain to him, not me.

 

Onua: Hey, you're right! This is Tahu's fault! I'll be right back...

 

*Onua enters the kitchen, and moments later, he stumbles back out again completely charred to a crisp*

 

Onua: :onfire:

 

Tahu: HOW DARE YOU BLAME ME FOR STUFF YOU IDIOTIC UNDERGROUND MINING OBSESSED NUTCASE!

 

Onua: ...I'm not that obsessed with mining...

 

Narrator: :popcorn:

 

Lewa0111: Umm, if you're done watching Tahu set Onua on fire, can you just do your job, Narrator?

 

Narrator: What? Oh, right. As today's chapter opens, the Toa Nuva are all meeting in the Manager's Suite, at Lewa's request.

 

Gali: Hi, Lewa. What's this meeting for?

 

Lewa: We're running low on money. We need more.

 

Gali: But I just checked the cash register yesterday, and our current profit is at W18732496598163964320876921763508732! How can we possibly need more money?

 

Takanuva: It's Lewa. Enough said.

 

Gali: Good point.

 

Lewa: Hey, I heard that! ...Oh, who cares, let's just start the meeting.

 

Fred: Hold on a second. We need to make sure everyone's here.

 

Lewa: Good idea. Okay, whoever's not here, raise your hand!

 

*awkward silence*

 

Lewa: Well, guess that means everyone's here!

 

Takanuva: No.

 

Kopaka: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

 

Lewa: Huh, wait, then who's missing?

 

Onua: Pohatu's missing.

 

Lewa: Oh, right. I know. He's still busy carrying up a large order of pianos to the 8,674th story for me, so he's excused. Anyone else missing?

 

BEC: Yeah, I don't see Tava! I was hoping he would come so he could make me some pies with sugar in them! I miss being hyper, and it's only 2:00, so I have to wait way too long for the random Matoran to show up!

 

Lewa: Okay, so, has anyone seen Tava around? Anyone know where he is?

 

Gali: Beats me.

 

*An eggbeater apperas and beats her*

 

Gali: That's even weirder the second time!

 

Onua: Actually, it's the third time that's happened.

 

Gali: Well, the first time was with Tahu, so it's only the second time it happened to me.

 

Onua: Gotcha.

 

Lewa: Seriously, though, has anyone seen Tava?

 

Takanuva: No.

 

Kopaka: AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!

 

*Pohatu walks in, exhausted*

 

Lewa: Pohatu! You finished, then?

 

Pohatu: Yes, finally. Why does everyone look so confused? Did we lose something?

 

Onua: Someone, actually. Have you seen Tava?

 

Pohatu: Tava? Why, is he gone?

 

Takanuva: Yes.

 

Kopaka: HHHHHHHGGGGGRRRRRRAAAAAAAAA!!

 

Everyone Else: :huh:

 

Kopaka: What? "Hgra" is "Argh" backwards!

 

Everyone Else: :blink:

 

Pohatu: Well, no, I haven't seen him. I haven't seen him at all since about halfway through the last chapter, when I saw him walking out of the kitchen muttering something about churches and pies.

 

Tahu: Oh. Whoops...

 

Lewa: What did you do THIS time!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

 

Pohatu: By the way, I love exclamation points and question marks--

 

Lewa: Old joke, bad timing, not funny.

 

Pohatu: Aww...

 

Tahu: Sorry, Onua...you were right.

 

Gali: What's going on? What happened? What did you do to Tava?

 

Tahu: Well, in the last chapter, he went off on a tirade about how amazing pie is, and I...er...jokingly suggested he make it into a religion. I think he might have taken it a little too literally.

 

Everyone: :Tavahasgonecompletelyinsane:

 

Lewa0111: What? No other emoticon existed to describe that level of Tava insanity!

 

Lewa: We have to go look for him and stop this before it goes completely nuts. Tahu, get the car ready. Does anyone know where to start looking for him?

 

Onua: Just look for the most pieish building in Metru Nui. He'll be in there.

 

Lewa: Good point. Let's go!

 

*Later, riding in the "car" through the streets of Metru Nui...*

 

Tahu: Does anyone see a good building to check out?

 

Gali: Tahu, you're driving 2 miles an hour. We've been looking at the exact same buildings for the last 20 minutes.

 

Tahu: Well, what am I supposed to do? The speed limit says 2 miles per hour!

 

*Gali looks at the sign*

 

Gali: No, Tahu, that says "Metru Nui Route 2," not speed limit! ...Though I never knew you were one for following speed limits in the first place.

 

Tahu: Well, that explains why everyone was screaming earlier. We just left Route 357. Let's go faster, then!

 

Gali: Remind me again why we let him dri--AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

 

Kopaka: My line!

 

Takanuva: Watch out! Tahu, swerve!

 

Tahu: Nah, I'd rather go through the brick wall.

 

*CRASH!*

 

Tahu: See? No problem! Nobody's hurt, right?

 

Pohatu (covered in a huge pile of bricks): I'm...all right... *faints*

 

Lewa: Hey, watch the bank! My money's in there!

 

*Tahu crashes through the bank*

 

Tahu: Too late! :D

 

Lewa: That does it, you're paying your own insurance from now on.

 

Tahu: Fine by me! Hey, cool, a ramp!

 

Takanuva: :OMG: THAT'S NOT A RAMP YOU MORON, THAT'S THE COLISEUM!

 

Tahu: Best ramp ever!

 

*Tahu drives the "car" up the side of the Coliseum and flips into the air, with everyone else screaming hysterically, then plows the "car" front-first into the concrete road somewhere in Le-Metru, right next to a large building made entirely of golden pies*

 

Everyone: :dazed:

 

Tahu: Whee! That was fun! Let's do it again!

 

Lewa: No.

 

Fred: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

 

Takanuva and Kopaka: WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE UNIVERSE!?!?!?!?!?

 

Gali: By the way, I love--

 

Pohatu: DON'T USE THAT JOKE!

 

*Tava walks out of the building, holding several pies in his hands and wearing a pie on his head with robes that have mini pies inscribed on them*

 

Tava: What happened to you?

 

Lewa: Tahu happened to us.

 

Tahu: :D

 

Tava: No worries! Here, have some of my new Panacea Pies. Pie in the face!

 

*Tava pies everyone in the face with Panacea Pies, and they are all instantly restored to health*

 

Lewa: Thanks, Tava.

 

Tava: You're welcome! Come inside, all of you!

 

*Tava leads the rest of them into the pie building, where they see everything is pie-themed, including a gigantic blueberry pie sitting on an altar*

 

Onua: What is this place?

 

Tava: Welcome to the First Church of Pieism! You're my first ever members! Yippee!

 

Lewa: Err...no.

 

Tava: What? You mean you're not here to worship the greatest entity ever to exist...the great Blueberry Pie? *points to altar*

 

Gali: Tava, do you mind explaining exactly what you are doing?

 

Tava: Isn't it obvious? I'm starting the greatest religion ever, Pieism! It's going great, except that before you showed up, nobody seemed interested.

 

BEC: I wonder why... :sarcastic:

 

Tava: I know, right? I can't understand it at all. Hmm, maybe I'm not advertising enough.

 

BEC (whispering): Fred, I bet you W300 that he doesn't get any worshippers.

 

Fred (whispering): I bet you W400 that you're right.

 

BEC: You're on.

 

*Iruini walks in*

 

Iruini: Hi, is this the First Church of Pieism? I'd like to become a member.

 

Everyone: :bigeek: SOMEONE'S HERE!?!?!?!?!?!?

 

Pohatu: By--

 

Lewa: Don't even think about saying it.

 

Pohatu: Aww...

 

Fred: I guess we both lost that bet.

 

Tava: Welcome, Iruini! Let us begin. Repeat after me: PIE!!

 

Iruini: PIE!!

 

Tava: PI!!

 

Iruini: PI!!

 

Tava: PIE!!

 

Iruini: PIE!!

 

Tava: PI!!

 

Iruini: PI!!

 

Tava: PIE!!

 

Iruini: PIE!!

 

Tava: PPPPPPPPPPIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!!

 

Iruini: PPPPPPPPPPIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!!

 

Tahu: Umm...ooooooooookay...

 

Gali: I second that.

 

Lewa: Me too.

 

Onua: All of the above.

 

Takanuva: What he said.

 

Kopaka: Same thing.

 

BEC: I agree with Tahu.

 

Fred: I agree with agreeing with Tahu.

 

Tava: Good job! From now on, that will be our official church theme song.

 

BEC: Umm, that was a song?

 

Onua: But there's no such thing as a church theme song! Churches have anthems, not theme songs!

 

Tava: Really? Okay, then in that case, it will be our anthem instead.

 

Tahu: That's the dumbest anthem I've ever heard in my life. What will it be called, "Pie pi?"

 

Tava: Wow, Tahu, you're full of great ideas! I hereby appoint you my official advisor of the Church of Pieism.

 

Tahu: No thanks, I'm way too busy doing stuff like...umm...stuff. Yeah. Stuff.

 

Tava: Oh. Well, in that case, wanna try some pie?

 

Everyone But Tava And Iruini: NO!!

 

Kopaka: Hey, I just realized that "Everyone But Tava And Iruini" includes Takanuva too. So: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

 

Tava And Iruini: Pie! Pie! Pie! Pie! Pie!

 

Gali: We need to get going. I can already feel my brain starting to hurt from all of the insanity. I think we're being influenced by the Blueberry Pie.

 

Lewa: Good idea. Let's get to the car. Tahu, no driving.

 

Tahu: :(

 

Tava: Wait! What about your free samples of pie?

 

*Everyone gets onto the car and quickly drive away, but this time Gali's driving*

 

Tahu: IWANNADRIVEIWANNADRIVEIWANNADRIVEIWANNADRIVE...

 

Lewa: No way. You are now banned from driving.

 

Tahu: IWANNADRIVEIWANNADRIVEIWANNAPIE...

 

Onua: :o Did he just say "I wanna pie?"

 

Fred: Uh-oh.

 

*Back at The Nuva Inn...*

 

BEC: This could be bad for the entire universe.

 

Onua: Hey, I have that phrase copyrighted!

 

*Keetongu appears*

 

Keetongu: But I have copyrights copyrighted! DIE!

 

*Keetongu starts chasing Onua around the lobby*

 

Keetongu: DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!

 

Lewa: I'm used to insanity. Who wouldn't be, living in a Lewa0111 comedy? But even by our usual standards, this is ridiculous.

 

Gali: Before today, I didn't think even Tava was THIS insane.

 

Takanuva: Well, I guess it's just us now. Us against this ridiculous insanity of pie.

 

Tahu: Maybe next chapter we can think of a plan to get Tava back to normal! Maybe we can BURN THE PIE!

 

Gali: But what if that invokes the wrath of the Blueberry Pie on us all? ...AAH! I've been brainwashed by Tava's insanity!

 

Keetongu: DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE PIE PIE PIE PIE PIE!

 

BEC: Oh, no, now it's affecting Keetongu, too! Lewa0111, quick, end the chapter!

 

Lewa0111: Okay.

 

PIE!!

 

Everyone: Uh-oh.

 

Lewa0111: It's overriding even my author powers! This isn't good!

 

PIE!!

 

Lewa0111: Better end it, Narrator, quick!

 

THE END

 

Onua: Don't tell me...another saga?

 

Narrator: Looks like it.

 

Onua: *sigh* I hate sagas.

 

Narrator: You hate everything I do.

 

Onua: Well, true. But I hate sagas especially.

 

Narrator: Let's just hope this one ends with a victory over the insanity that is Pieism.

 

Onua: I agree. Wait, did I just agree with the Narrator? IT'S THE APOCALYPSE!

 

Narrator: Oh, shut up.

 

Bob the Word Counting Matoran: This chapter has 1,807 words.

 

~Lewa# Piedios

 

:mirunu: LewaPie111 Nuva :mirunu:


Edited by Lewa0111 Nuva, Jun 29 2014 - 03:54 AM.

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My Script Comedies: | The Nuva Inn Remake | Ask Matau! Remake (ACCEPTING QUESTIONS!) |
My Prose Comedies: | The BZ-Nui Hack Wars | Mata Nova |

 

“MATAU! Did you replace those candies with chocolate-covered Madu?”

 

“Maybe…”

 

--Turaga Nokama and Turaga Matau, Why Toa Shouldn't Trick Or Treat

ANNOUNCEMENT: The Lewa# Studios Holiday Series kicks off again with Why Toa Shouldn't Trick Or Treat!


#79 Online Phoenix Zero

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Posted Feb 18 2012 - 06:19 PM

Ah man, I remember this chapter from the old forums, still as good as it was back then.My favorite part has GOT to be when Kopaka went Hgra, or maybe it was whenever Tahu talked.

Edited by JiMing, Feb 18 2012 - 06:19 PM.

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#80 Offline Toa Kapurkar--Rail Blazer

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Posted Feb 18 2012 - 09:23 PM

Pieism? There's an easy way to fix that. Isn't religious discussion supposed to be banned from BZPower?Actually, don't use that. Forget I said it. However, don't forget this--NEVER LET TAHU DRIVE AGAIN!
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