The Corrupt-A-Wish Game!

[PutYaGunsOn]

They're literate, but they can only read Chinese.  Since this is an English language forum only, that doesn't change anything for us.

 

I wish Capcom would remaster all the Onimusha games.

[Eiji Hino]

Granted, but in doing so, they modify the original storyline, making it extremely convoluted and confusing the fire out of everyone.  Sales drop so low because nobody is able to understand the story, and Capcom goes bankrupt.

I wish I didn't have crippling depression.

[Soran]

Wish granted, you're now just ignorant of the world around you.

 

I wish the sky was orange.

 

~Soran

[Eiji Hino]

Granted, but it's more butterscotch than orange.

I wish Soran were friends with me.

[Soran]

Wish granted, the people of Soran Emirate are now friends with you.

 

I wish I could think of something to wish for.

 

~Soran

[PutYaGunsOn]

You wasted your wish.

 

I wish I could shoot fireballs out of my hands like Street Fighter characters.

[Eiji Hino]

Granted, but when you do, you burn yourself very badly.

I wish that senpai would notice me.  That'd be kawaii desu ne.

[Soran]

Wish granted.

But didn't care.

 

 

I wish I could soar the skies.

 

~Soran

[Eiji Hino]

Granted, but you are transmogrified into an owl in order to do so.

I wish that Vine wasn't dead.

[Soran]

Wish granted, that one specific vine of poison ivy isn't dead.

 

I wish I had super powers.

 

~Soran

[Eiji Hino]

Granted, but you now have the power to burn things.  This turns making a grilled cheese into a nightmare.

I wish that I could have a YouTube account.

[Soran]

Wish granted, you're subscribed to all the worst channels by default.

 

I wish I could have a docile pet fox.

 

~Soran

[Eiji Hino]

Granted, but your fox turns out to be a recolored doggle.

I wish that either the Chimoru R kit or the Snazzy kit included a full 360 of a Skakdi head.

[Soran]

Wish granted, though it's for private use only.

 

I wish there were more hours in a day.

 

~Soran

[PutYaGunsOn]

Granted.  Days are now 36 hours long, but you adapt to a new lifestyle that tires you out so much that you spent 24 of those hours sleeping every day.  Every.  Single.  Day.  Unfortunately, standard work days have extended to about 18-24 hours a day, so your terrible sleep schedule gets you fired.

 

I wish that I could function normally without ever having to sleep again.

Edited November 5, 2016 by Hakura: Toa of Plasma

[Soran]

Wish granted, you can function without sleep but you sacrifice any more of escapism from your life, and dreams are unattainable for you from now on.

 

I wish I could eat the most delicious food in the world.

 

~Soran

[Eiji Hino]

Granted, but your taste buds get burned so badly in eating it that you need to have tongue surgery.  There are complications in the procedure and you are left with the inability to taste anything ever again.

I wish for the ability to hop into any franchise universe I want.

[PutYaGunsOn]

You hop between all of the franchises you love, and form basically an inter-universal Justice League/Avengers team of sorts with all of your favorites, including your namesake, the Gokaigers' very own Captain Marvelous, as your best friend.  Unfortunately, your new bad guy is Saitama the One Punch Man himself, who is now evil for some reason.  I don't think this is gonna end well for you, bud.

 

I wish Saitama would become good again and join CapMARVELOUS' team.

[Eiji Hino]

Granted, but in doing so, he somehow loses his power and becomes basically worthless.

 

including your namesake, the Gokaigers' very own Captain Marvelous, as your best friend.

I wish that this were actually true.

[PutYaGunsOn]

Granted, but in doing so, he somehow loses his power and becomes basically worthless.

 

including your namesake, the Gokaigers' very own Captain Marvelous, as your best friend.

I wish that this were actually true.

You become friends with Ryota Ozawa, the man who plays Captain Marvelous.  Since Captain Marvelous is a fictional character, this is as close to "true" as you can get.  It starts off pretty cool at first since he seems like a cool guy, but then you then ask him to act like Marvelous at all times so that you can live out your fantasy.  This causes him to just grow sick of the role and character, and resent you for it.

 

I wish the Gokaigers were real people.

[Eiji Hino]

Granted, but they take up permanent residence in Japan.  At the same time, you are accused of passport fraudulence and are barred from renewing your old passport or buying a new one for the rest of your life.  You cannot get to Japan without a passport, so you are forever unable to meet the Gokaigers.

I wish that I had super strong kicks.  Like Sanji.  Or Mercury Black.

Edited November 8, 2016 by capMARVELOUS

[Tahtorak ate my house!]

Granted, but the strength of your arms will decrease by the same amount in which your legs' strength has been amplified.

 

I wish for a functional transformation device & associated accessories^Note that combines the transformation abilities of Kamen Rider Decade's Decadriver & Gokaigers' Mobilates.

 

(Note: "Accessories" here means a combination of Rider Cards & Ranger Keys).

[Eiji Hino]

Granted, but this device will only give you armor, not skills.  You are ridiculed because you look silly and because you think you have skills.

I wish that we got a Takanuva set in G2.

[PutYaGunsOn]

All known releases of just this one particular set are as sturdy as the 2007 lime pieces.

 

I wish that Voriki, Master of Energy was a real G2 set, and my corruption to CapMARVELOUS' Takanuva set does not apply to it.

[Eiji Hino]

Granted, but it's lead-painted instead of not sturdy.  You decide to lick one of the pieces and die of lead poisoning.

I wish that somehow, Roman Torchwick was brought back in RWBY Volume 4.

[Volatile]

Granted. He dies immediately after.

 

I wish for Donald trump to be brought down from the presidential office.

[Eiji Hino]

Granted, but the High Prophet of Truth takes his place and becomes the most despotic president in the history of America.

I wish that I had a castle.

[Tahtorak ate my house!]

Granted, but you get trapped inside the castle for eternity.

 

I wish to develop and maintain a positive outlook in life, even when faced with the worst of setbacks, calamities and sufferings.

Edited November 11, 2016 by Tahtorak ate my house!

[Eiji Hino]

Granted, but now everyone else is super depressed.

I wish that DANK MEMES would stop consuming my life.

[PutYaGunsOn]

Instead, old outdated memes, which are well past their dankness expiration date, consume your life.  (I'm talking "All Your Base" and "Peanut Butter Jelly Time" old)  You're still consumed by memes, just not dank ones.

 

I wish I was a Saiyan from Dragon Ball.

[Eiji Hino]

Granted, but you lack the plot armor that Goku has and are reduced to being a background character that dies in the first few seconds of your only appearance.

I wish that I had a job at Barnes and Noble.

[Tahu3.0]

Granted but youre first assingment of the job is looking for a book that is VERRY important and someone stole it.

 

I wish I had a retro videogame set up.

[Eiji Hino]

Granted, but it's very glitchy and you spawn several DANK MEMES with your glitchy graphics.

I wish to ride a majestic eagle across the skies hanging over my future castle.

[PutYaGunsOn]

You get the eagle, but its presence alters the timeline so that you don't get your future castle.

 

I wish Capcom would finally make Dragon's Dogma 2, with everything great about the first game's gameplay and then some.

[Toa Imrukii]

Grant it, it has me as a helper who never shuts up.

 

 

I wish my parents didn't yell at me.

[Eiji Hino]

Granted, but now you yell at your parents.

I wish that Neptune got more screen time in RWBY.

[The Hip Historian Iaredios]

Rooster Teeth has done more than Red vs Blue? Anyway, you got it, but it results in there being less episodes over all.

 

I wish I could visit pre-1204 AD Constantinople.

[Eiji Hino]

Granted, but you die there.

I wish I could meet Jon Snow.

[PutYaGunsOn]

Grant it, it has me as a helper who never shuts up.

Psh, I got used to the pawns in Dragon's Dogma 1 not shutting up, so that's barely even a problem for me.  

 

Anyway, Gokai Red, he doesn't like you very much, so you're disappointed.

 

I wish for a nice hot bowl of Japanese curry rice.

[Eiji Hino]

Granted, but somebody slipped poison into it, and you die.

I wish Power Rangers was as good as Super Sentai, not the watered-down business that it already is.