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Ask the Ambage

starring Velox Ambage BZPower Writing #arsoairport

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7 replies to this topic

#1 Offline Kakaru

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Posted Nov 10 2012 - 09:21 PM

Per popular request of the Ambage, we tried to create a script-comedy live in one of our skype sessions. Editing fell to me (I hate you guys) and here's the result. This will hopefully be the last of it's kind, so don't expect guest stars or even a second chapter.So here it is, a legendary event in BZPower's history: The epic writers of today harken back to their ancient days of "ask" studio comedies in a fit of nostalgia-fueled bad judgement! Critics are spread wide on this heavily controversial topic:

[5:56:28 PM] Zarayna: I would burn that comedy with fire.[5:56:29 PM] Zarayna: Well.[5:56:33 PM] Zarayna: One of these days.

[9:16:15 PM] iBrow Voltex: Is it bad to say my eyes are bleeding?[9:16:52 PM] Kakaru: Since that's the effect of every comedy I've ever read, no.[9:17:06 PM] iBrow Voltex: But my eyes.[9:17:14 PM] iBrow Voltex: What do I do with them now?[9:17:27 PM] Kakaru: Sell them to an emo collector on Ebay.[9:17:36 PM] Kakaru: "BLEEDING EYES, $600"

[5:58:13 PM] Kakaru: I'm literally laughing out loud at this trainwreck.[5:58:26 PM] Kakaru: So congratulations.

[7:49:35 PM] Andrew P: Oh no Micah what have you done.[7:49:52 PM] Andrew P: D:[7:50:14 PM] Andrew P: I just saw it on the main forum page[7:51:38 PM] Andrew P: I feel like crying in a corner now.

[6:02:00 PM] Zarayna: LET'S SPAM THE COMEDY FORUM.[6:02:12 PM] Aderia: Spam looks just like the comedies.[6:02:15 PM] Kakaru: They already are ironic.

[6:04:46 PM] Aderia: Bread puns!

---

[6:15:26 PM] Kakaru: HI GUYS THIS IS THE "ASK THE AMBAGE" SHOW, WHERE BZPOWER'S MOST PROLIFIC WRITERS ARE STUFFED IN A LITTLE ROOM UNTIL THEY DISCUSS BANNED MEMBERS AND OTHER HORRORS UNEARTHED FROM THE DARK CORNERS OF BZPOWER.[6:15:41 PM] Kakaru: SOUND OFF, WHO'S HERE TONIGHT.[6:15:43 PM] Zarayna: XDXDXD[6:15:50 PM] Kakaru: ZAR![6:16:13 PM] Zarayna: Zar is Nick and Nick is Zar, but Zar is not Nick and Nick is not Zar.[6:15:52 PM] Nick Silverpen: APPROVED.[6:15:55 PM] Kakaru: AND NICK![6:15:54 PM] Aderia: Not me. I'm busy having a lif.[6:16:00 PM] Kakaru: AND ADERIA IS BUSY.[6:16:11 PM] Kakaru: HAVING A LIF.[6:16:23 PM] Kakaru: UNDOUBTEDLY STOLEN FROM OUR WARHOUS.[6:16:48 PM] Kakaru: SPECIAL GUESTS INCLUDE THE NIGH TUGYS![6:17:00 PM] Kakaru: AND GROCHI, THE RESIDENT EVIL![6:17:06 PM] Zarayna: Well, Kakaru, from my latest statement, people might be thinking we're going a little insane here. What's your thoughts?[6:17:18 PM] Aderia: Were you here when I used "meese" as the plural of "moose"?[6:17:20 PM] Kakaru: I'M RUNNING THIS SHOW DARNIT.[6:18:00 PM] Zarayna: This is an ask comedy, and I asked you a question. Is it not your purpose to answer?[6:17:28 PM] Kal Grochi: I'm not the resident evil.[6:17:37 PM] Kakaru: Shh yes you are.[6:17:35 PM] Kal Grochi: I'm the resident wild card.[6:17:41 PM] Kal Grochi: The resident evil is probably Ced.[6:18:04 PM] Kakaru: CEDERAK IS NOT HERE.[6:17:55 PM] Kal Grochi: Maybe somebody else.[6:17:57 PM] Kal Grochi: Aderia, is it you?[6:18:11 PM] Kakaru: RRGH[6:18:13 PM] Aderia: He's like a strawberry biscuit, Grochi. You're just jealous.[6:18:14 PM] Kal Grochi: Like -that- ever happens.[6:18:19 PM] Kakaru: TWELVE SECONDS IN AND WE'RE ALREADY DERAILED.[6:18:32 PM] Kal Grochi: I love you guys.

---

[6:24:02 PM] Kakaru: Okay, let's get this boat sunk.[6:24:04 PM] Kakaru: HI GUYS THIS IS THE "ASK THE AMBAGE" SHOW, WHERE BZPOWER'S MOST PROLIFIC WRITERS ARE TAUGHT NECROMANCY UNTIL ALL REMNANTS OF PRETENTIOUS NOTIONS OF GOOD WRITING ARE PURGED FROM THEIR MINDS AND THEY DIE.[6:24:11 PM] Kakaru: WHO'S HERE WITH US.[6:24:30 PM] Zarayna: Well, Kakaru, there appears to be a Zar present.[6:24:44 PM] Zarayna: Where do the others hide themselves?[6:24:58 PM] Kakaru: In our warhous.[6:24:52 PM] Aderia: In bunkers with skylights.[6:25:02 PM] Kakaru: Shh Aderia.[6:25:06 PM] Kakaru: Go back to the warhous.[6:25:05 PM] Zarayna: But we're already stuck in one bunker.[6:25:10 PM] Zarayna: Who wants to be in another?[6:25:20 PM] Kakaru: Is that a legitimate question?[6:25:27 PM] Kakaru: You know the cameras are rolling, right?[6:25:30 PM] Zarayna: Yes it is. Count your blessings I say![6:25:47 PM] Zarayna hits his head against the ceiling.[6:25:57 PM] Kakaru: Darnit Zar, stoppit.[6:26:06 PM] Zarayna: If you can't pass five, I think you can still list them all.[6:26:11 PM] Zarayna rubs his head.[6:26:14 PM] Kakaru: Our ceiling isn't covered by overhead costs.[6:26:31 PM] Kakaru: *rimshot*[6:26:36 PM] Kakaru: Get it?[6:26:42 PM] Zarayna: Yes, I noticed. At least it is better than the damage of Grochi's headbutting?[6:27:05 PM] Kakaru: Er, that's technically not covered by our insurance either...[6:27:10 PM] Kal Grochi: I only headbutt people.[6:27:13 PM] Kal Grochi: Not ceilings.[6:27:22 PM] Aderia: And play harmonica over voice chat.[6:27:19 PM] Kakaru: Hi Grochi also.[6:27:23 PM] Kakaru: Back in the box with you.[6:27:31 PM] Kakaru: Aderia no[6:27:32 PM] Kakaru: Back[6:27:32 PM] Zarayna: And it is detrimental to stomachs, not to mention life.[6:27:35 PM] Kal Grochi: I've been on the chat numerous times without doing tha-[6:27:39 PM] Kakaru: Shh Grochi.[6:27:38 PM] Kal Grochi: NO NOT THE BOX[6:27:40 PM] Kakaru: BACK[6:27:42 PM] Kakaru: BACK[6:27:43 PM] Zarayna: I think out insurance plan needs to be changed.[6:27:47 PM] Kal Grochi: Why do I have to be put in the box?[6:27:51 PM] Kakaru: NO[6:27:55 PM] Kakaru: THE CAMERAS GROCHI[6:28:02 PM] Kakaru: YOU ARE ON CAMERA[6:28:06 PM] Kal Grochi: Wait, camera—Oh.[6:28:00 PM] Aderia: Come on, Grochi. We're not appreciated here.[6:28:10 PM] Kal Grochi jumps back into the box.[6:28:13 PM] Kakaru: Shoosh.[6:28:15 PM] Kakaru: Okay no wait.[6:28:18 PM] Kakaru: Don't go forever.[6:28:30 PM] Kakaru: We need people to send questions in to Zar.[6:28:44 PM] Zarayna: Aren't you questioning me?[6:29:01 PM] Kakaru: I don't know, you seem to have a lot of questions of your own here.[6:28:17 PM] Zarayna: So Kakaru, we're in yet another boring day in this bunker. How do you rate the air today? I think it's a little less breathable. Why is that?[6:28:39 PM] Kakaru: Er, the air is uh[6:28:47 PM] Kakaru: poisoned.[6:28:52 PM] Zarayna: Right.[6:28:57 PM] Zarayna: Explains the good smell.[6:29:10 PM] Zarayna: At least death doesn't hurt too much.[6:29:09 PM] Kakaru: And yeah, arsenic smells like almonds.[6:29:15 PM] Kakaru: Not that I'd know.[6:29:17 PM] Kakaru: heh heh[6:29:22 PM] Aderia: How is that comedic?[6:29:29 PM] Zarayna: Kakaru, is there something you're not telling us?[6:29:35 PM] Kakaru: Dark humour is what all the cool kids are into.[6:29:47 PM] Aderia: Because BZP is so full of those.[6:29:17 PM] Zarayna: I guess I like turning the tables.[6:29:47 PM] Zarayna: Aderia, have you ever seen Zar trying to turn a table?[6:29:59 PM] Zarayna: He can carry them around, but he's never tried turning them.[6:30:15 PM] Zarayna: I understand after the first tries his spiked mace comes out.[6:30:21 PM] Nick Silverpen: Hey is anyone besides Aderia and me doing the write off?[6:30:30 PM] Kakaru: Woah hi Nick again.[6:30:36 PM] Nick Silerpen: Hey Kakaru.[6:30:36 PM] Kakaru: (someone close the studio doors!)[6:30:49 PM] Kakaru: (and the box lid!)[6:30:48 PM] Aderia: Eli! he forgot to close them on his way out![6:30:48 PM] Zarayna: Good lord brothers, let us write![6:30:54 PM] Aderia: Somebody kickban him.[6:31:13 PM] Kakaru: kickban Zar[6:31:17 PM] Kakaru: no wait shoot[6:31:18 PM] Zarayna: Comedy chapter one done.[6:31:20 PM] Zarayna: (Cut!)[6:31:31 PM] Kakaru: That could have gone worse.[6:31:46 PM] Kakaru: NOW THE AFTERPARTY[6:31:50 PM] Aderia: TASTE THE RAINBOW[6:31:53 PM] Kakaru: I HAVE PRETZELS[6:32:02 PM] Aderia: (skittles, anyone?)[6:32:04 PM] Zarayna: I have a ketboard.[6:32:06 PM] Zarayna: Let's write.[6:32:10 PM] Aderia: dude[6:32:13 PM] Aderia: i want a ket board[6:32:16 PM] Kakaru: Ketboards for lif.[6:32:22 PM] Aderia: Gotta be better than a clatterboard.[6:32:27 PM] Kakaru: hahahaha[6:32:38 PM] Kakaru: What are you saying about my presence in voice chats.[6:32:34 PM] Zarayna: ...[6:34:43 PM] Zarayna: Chapter one is 774 words![6:34:48 PM] Zarayna: THIS COMEDY ROCKS[6:35:29 PM] Kal Grochi: (Can I come out yet?)[6:35:31 PM] Aderia: ELI![6:35:41 PM] Aderia: You missed the afterparty.After editing, 1143 words. Zar is a liar and a vagabond.

Edited by Kakaru, Nov 10 2012 - 11:21 PM.

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「どこに行けばいいんだ・・・」「タ・コロ村はもうおしまいだ・・・」タ・コロ村の村人達


#2 Offline The Otter

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Posted Nov 10 2012 - 09:54 PM

You still haven't told me if I could come out of the box.
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#3 Offline Grant-Sud

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Posted Nov 10 2012 - 10:03 PM

You guys are insane! But please post a second chapter, since it does fit what goes on in the Ambage well and people have a lot of questions to ask I'm sure.

Edited by Quote (Mr. Traveler), Nov 10 2012 - 10:10 PM.

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#4 Offline Aderia

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Posted Nov 10 2012 - 10:18 PM

You guys are insane! But please post a second chapter, since it does fit what goes on in the Ambage well and people have a lot of questions to ask I'm sure.

Bro!! You're on the list to be interviewed!! Drop by, sit down, stay a while!! And Ezorov and all our other writerly friends!!

Edited by Eponine, Nov 10 2012 - 10:19 PM.

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#5 Offline ChroXumo

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Posted Nov 10 2012 - 10:45 PM

Ahaha! Too bad I missed this, it was by all appearances totally ridiculous. Next one, I guess. :lol:
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#6 Offline Onarax

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Posted Nov 11 2012 - 02:40 AM

Wha ... what is this I don't even?Oh wait, this is mild compared to the Skype chat logs of the Random RPer's Association.Carry on.
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#7 Offline Brooklyn Pace-Carlisle

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Posted Nov 11 2012 - 07:25 AM

butwhere is tyler-Tyler
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~who is this sassy delight getting reported so much~


#8 Offline Grantaire

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Posted Nov 11 2012 - 08:56 AM

He was offline. Maybe next time he'll pop in.
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