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I tend to think that they have teeth, otherwise Nokama would not have been able to eat that bitter herb in Karzahni the Plant's lair.

 

Although the Mask of Life could create whatever body it wants for Mata Nui, so technically that has no bearing on whether the Glatorian or the Matoran/Toa/etc have teeth. :P

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Is it wanted that Ehrye is mispelled Ehyre each time it appears?

 

Other than that, I quite liked your story. You used the characters really well.

Keep in mind that if Star Trek fans had, as a group, said, "No point in talking about this anymore, it's never going to come back," it never WOULD have come back.

-- Greg Farshtey

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With regards to the teeth discussion, keep in mind that the Skakdi have very prominent and noticeable teeth, and many Rahi have been described as fanged or sharp-toothed. That would seem to imply, to me, that teeth are commonplace in MU inhabitants.

 

That said, the image of a toothed Matoran is absolutely hideous, so I'm glad they wear masks and hide them. :P

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"You are not entitled to your opinion. You are entitled to your informed opinion. No one is entitled to be ignorant."
-- Harlan Ellison

 

 

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  • 6 months later...

Right, I think I've just about done my last revision. All changes have been highlighted in red.

 

The tooth debate is also over in this one. Thank you ball boys and thank you umpires. 

----
 

 

 

"I had browsed his various academic evaluations shortly before he had come to my workplace."

 

 

 

 

"He had tremendous potential."

 

 

 

 

"Despite his intellectual prowess, he was said to be... impatient and always in a hurry."

 

 

 

"He was firm in his convictions, which was always a promising characteristic, but he was particularly stubborn in his beliefs."

 

 

 

 

"The young Ko-Matoran glowered at me coldly. I took no offence from his harsh gaze; among us Matoran of Ice, it was all too frequent a response. Nobody likes to be proven wrong."

 

 

 

"An array of stone tablets lay scattered messily on the top of his table, each lecturing on a different subject of philosophy and science."

 

 

 

"I do not see how their collaborative ideas on the creation of Kanoka can be inaccurate, especially since they have been in practice ever since they were devised."

 

 

 

 

"In the centuries passing since, scores of mask makers have proposed new and better ways to create Kanohi. These techniques are obsolete and outdated."

 

 

 

"And what do those mask makers base their progress on?" 

 

 

 

 

"Nuju grumbled for a moment,"

 

 

 

 

"I smiled at my new student courteously, despite a glare he gave me that was sharper than any icicle and twice as cold. He still had so much to learn."

 

 

 

"Why am I studying this anyway?" he demanded. His face had contorted so fiercely with frustration that one could be forgiven for believing he was wearing a different mask. "I am not some starstruck student who’s ready to blindly accept a teacher’s word as law. If I were, then my place would be down below in the schools of Ga-Metru. I know when I am right. And I know that the study of Kanoka has no relevance when forecasting tomorrow's events. It certainly has no place in my future."
 

I had expected this much from Nuju. "I present you with this document to prove that the greatest advancements in Matoran culture do not solely rely on stargazing or deciphering cryptic puzzles."
 

Nuju frowned. "But studying Kanoka does not help us learn about the future."

 

I turned away from him and walked across my observatory, coming to a stop near the massive window that overlooked the spires of Ko-Metru; a glassy empire framed by a crystalline skyline. Aside from basic furniture and essential stargazing equipment, the room was spared any of my personal effects. For many years now I have been of the belief that a workspace serves equally as a reflection of its occupant's character. For this reason I had made sure my quarters revealed as little as possible. And for this moment, perhaps it was all the better for it; nothing to obstruct the burnt orange light as it flittered away beneath the clouds.

 

“To understand the future, you must comprehend the discoveries that allow a society to flourish in the first place, and the principles that underline those discoveries. We can never truly dismiss our past, for without it we have no platform to make any sound judgments about our future."
 

 

 

"With all due respect, Ihu, the past is something we leave the Onu-Matoran to bumble about. Any Seer worth his work knows that the lessons of the past are what they are because the stories they tell us little more than didactic morality tales. The future is determined by ever-changing patterns in the present; the past merely tells us what has gone before. It cannot guide us into our future."

 

 

 

"Without the past, how would we adapt to the future? Our experiences are built upon the past, and every mistake anyone has ever made affects the way they look to the future. There is just as much importance in what has been as what will be.”

 

 

 

I couldn't help but grin at the comment. It was true, that the name ‘Ihu’ had both positive and negative connotations. For years, I had been described as one of Metru Nui's finest thinkers; a pioneer from a golden age of learning. In particular, my extensive knowledge of the prophecies of the future had earned me great acclaim. Many times over, I had deciphered some of Metru Nui's most cryptic prophecies with a standard that had never been matched. 

 

 

 

However, a personal philosophy that was all-inclusive of the past, whilst popular with Onu-Matoran, did not sit well within the elite circles of the Ko-Matoran. I, personally, did not mind their scathing gossip. Their reactions amused me.

 

 

 

I gave Nuju a friendly smile and pressed on.

 

 

 

"I am a maverick only to those who are stubborn and narrow-minded and I am assured you are neither. Now, I’m sure I’ve given you plenty to think about. We’re going to have many more lessons like this, so a change in perspective might go a long way in making them all the more enjoyable."

 

Nuju snorted as he raised himself from his desk and left the room. Thank you’s and goodbye’s were to be a luxury, it seemed. He wasn’t my student, not in mind or spirit, but he was still new to the Knowledge Towers. He would need a helping hand to get him through these first few hurdles, especially with Ko-Metru’s finest watching with hungry eyes, eager to see if he would wither or thrive.
Edited by Mersery
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"The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't."

 

 

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I was standing in the lobby of one of the Metru's innermost Towers of Thought. Apart from the mechanical chirping of the nearby Vahki drones, not a single word had been uttered. That said, even if I had wanted to speak, I would have no doubt been escorted off the premise; the nickname "the quiet Metru" was a surprisingly literal one. That said, it was almost a relief to know that the nearby scholars were bound by silence, if only because it refrained them from gossiping amongst themselves.

 

 

I was standing in the lobby of one of the Metru's innermost Knowledge Towers.

 

 

 

 

 

It had been two months since I had become Nuju’s mentor, and needless to say, he had not been responding well to my teachings.  My theories appalled him, my heresies outraged him and to him my works were totally unworthy of their praise. More than once during our lectures, he had attempted to dethrone me in my own classroom, like many of my colleagues had when I myself was a young Seer, but I simply proved too well versed in my field to truly depose.

 

 

 

 

Many times over, Nuju had presented me hours of work that I had dismissed with the wave of my hand. There were always small oversights, not enough attention to detail, too few compelling arguments. He did not hate the fact that I criticized his work; he hated that I was right. Obviously, it had finally gotten to him.

 

 

 

 

I approached the group of Vahki, keeping a wary eye on the huddled scholars that dotted the corners of the room, their eyes boring holes into the back of my head as I approached. 

 

 

 

 

 

The Vahki commander turned and issued an order encoded in a mechanical whistle to its comrades. Immediately, the other Keerakh turned to the other Ko-Matoran and began shooing them off. I looked up into the empty icy blue eyes of the commander, who stood firm and motionless, like the great works of the Po-Metru. I cleared my throat.

 

 

 

 

"I heard of what Nuju did. I do not condone his actions, but I wish there to be no lasting damage."

 

 

 

 

 

The Keerakh shook its head slowly, its mechanical eyes never flickering off me. A short pause ensued and an almost sinister silence clutched the void. It was numbing. Nuju continued to stare at the ceiling. Though he had not been my most yielding of students, I had never wished him any ill. 

 

 

 

 

The Vahki didn't reply. Instead, it broke itself from its motionless stance and made its way to the lobby entrance with its unit. Within mere seconds, they vanished into the blizzard outside. I frowned for a moment, then turned and herded the confused Nuju through the winding hallways and passageways. We strode past several rooms of prophecy, ancient centers of learning and various laboratories. Along the way, countless scholars scowled at me disapprovingly as I guided my pupil through the halls, though I paid their judgments no thought.

 

 

Nuju shrugged. "A protest.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

A protest? Screaming down the corridors of the Towers of Thought is not a sign of protest, especially when you're complaining about my adequacy as a mentor. Be glad this room is soundproofed."

 

"But that's exactly what a protest is."

 

"Not when you're disturbing other scholars in a no-speaking zone! It gains nothing! You know as well as I do that the Vahki monitor those buildings around the clock

 

 

 

 

Nuju was silent. Accusing any Ko-Matoran of stupidity was a great offence.

 

 

 

 

 

"You're a brilliant savant, Nuju. Your genius will take you far, but things like this will not do any favors for you! Whatever point you were trying to prove, such reckless behavior serves only to march your cause backwards."

 

 

 

 

Since the incident with the KeerakhNuju had begun to mellow out and his stubbornness had been tempered enough for him to concede on at least some grounds. 

 

 

 

 

He was still as sharp as ever, and analyzed everything that crossed his desk with an unrivaled scrutiny, but he did this no longer with the intention of proving my folly. Ever since, lessons had become much easier with him in the depths of the Knowledge Towers. He had even been permitted back into the Towers of Thought, despite the incident he had instigated the last time he was there. 

 

 

 

By the late afternoon, Nuju had chiseled up what looked like forty-five pages of notes. 

 

 

 

Nuju grunted in acknowledgement and leaned against the railing, staring out at the orange suns and the glimmering, infinite waters of the Falls. 

 

 

 

 

"So you’d prefer me to do my research during live Akilini games?"

 

 

 

 

Nuju's eyes glimmered with thought. "You are a very wise soul, Ihu. Metru Nui will never have a Seer quite like you."

 

 

 

 

You no longer need me anymore, and your destiny is your own. 

 

 

 

"Tell him to make an appointment first," 

 

 

 

 

Ehyre stiffened none too subtly as he said his next words. “Sir, I believe your visitor is an old student of yours. A Seer from the southern district. Nuju, I believe his name is. He’s already waiting in your office.”

 

 

 

he had gone on to enjoy a very successful career as a thinker in the upper echelons of Ko-Matoran 

 

 

 

 

Ehyre had hurried through his message as if he were eager to be done with it, and he had made no effort to mask his discomfort in mentioning my friend's name. Something clicked in my mind. Ah yes, this was that Matoran whose scholarship Nuju had very bluntly denied. He had said the Matoran was ill suited to the role; he lacked patience, was too talkative and too quick to act. 

 

 

 

He turned at the sound of my entrance and nodded courteously, the ghost of smile on the tips of his mouth. His eyepiece adjusted as he did a quick scan of the room. I smiled back to him and moved to tap a clenched fist in the customary manner, but was greeted instead with an open palm. We shook hands.

 

"Nuju, my friend! How have you been?"

 

The lens of my former student’s mask zoomed in and out as he looked around the room.

 

"I am most well, Ihu. Since we last met, I have been dabbling in a variety of top-level research projects. All very exciting ventures. I also noticed you have redecorated your observatory since the last time we visited one another. I don't like it."

 

Though it wasn't obvious, this was Nuju's version of a joke. The only problem with him telling a joke was that he never made it apparent that he was actually trying to say something funny.

 

 

"Not this time," I said as I took a seat in one of my armchairs. "This old Gukko's wings can only stretch so far – and you certainly strained them.”

---

 

 

"I've been poached for one or two projects. Many value my comprehensive knowledge on the prophecies, so I haven't run out of interesting work just yet. Though I have found myself drawn to a range of smaller ventures that I have in the works.”

 

----

 

 

"Your most prized intellectual properties are not present on your desks. Implication: They have been stored somewhere. Your telescope has also been completely shut down. Most Ko-Matoran only power them down to recharge as opposed to deactivating entirely, should they be needed at a moment's notice. Also, the door to your office was locked; fortunately, I know the code. You really must change that."

----

 

 

"That deduction is invalid. You used an eyepiece to get all that. It would be more impressive if deduced without that microscope in your eye, but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt."

 

Nuju smiled.

 

“But indeed, you are correct. A group of Archivists want me to sit as a guest speaker in a public lecture. I'm to talk about the relevance the past has on determining the future."

 

Nuju’s grin disappeared at that news.

 

"Typical. The Onu-Matoran's work gets more attention than it deserves, especially with all those constant expansions to their Archives. One day, I'll make sure they come to understand the importance of our research."

 

---

 

 

I peered outside the window and stared at the suns, noting how low they hung in the ginger sky.

 

---

 

 

"Best of luck with your lecture, Ihu," he began, his voice filled with genuine emotion. Warmth even. In that moment, the line between friend and mentor blurred.

 

"I’d be curious to hear what those narrow-minded Onu-Matoran will have to say on your comments. Perhaps you can convince them to pluck their heads from the ground. In any case, have a safe trip."

----

 

 

And this concludes my memoirs for the moment. Being a Ko-Matoran, I feel the act of putting chisel to stone both irksome and unnecessarily tedious, so I have devised a better way to amass my thoughts. Indeed, many will question my use of this Memory Crystal for such purposes, or even brand me as downright selfish for trying to leave some small imprint of myself upon this world in such a manner, but I do not see any better way.

 

----

 

Until then, I leave you with a small statement I gave to Nuju in Ga-Metru, one that had him thinking for days:

 

Life is a puzzle that cannot easily be solved, the bane of every philosopher's existence. It takes time and patience to piece its intricacies together, and then to understand its meaning in a global vernacular. If these mysteries frustrate or confuse you, look to the skies above and keep an open mind. Your future is not a series of events set in stone; pre-determined by the forces of chance. We may each have a destiny, but even those can be resisted, and in the most extreme cases, averted. Our future is determined not with solid certainty, but with careful consideration of variables. The slightest of miscalculations, shifts in temperature, even impulsive actions can throw the entire natural order out of balance.

 

And such a world is something worth revelling in.

 
Edited by Mersery

"The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't."

 

 

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Okay, I read through the changes. There's a lot, but they all look fine... with the possible exception of that one about telescopes power sources. Since it comments on the norm, that might be establishing too much. But I don't recall if the same basic idea was in the original, etc. I don't think it's a big deal though.

The Destiny of Bionicle (chronological retelling of Bionicle original series, 9 PDFs of 10 chapters each on Google Drive)Part 1 - Warring with Fate | Part 2 - Year of Change | Part 3 - The Exploration Trap | Part 4 - Rise of the Warlords | Part 5 - A Busy Matoran | Part 6 - The Dark Time | Part 7 - Proving Grounds | Part 8 - A Rude Awakening | Part 9 - The Battle of Giants

My Bionicle Fanfiction  (Google Drive folder, eventually planned to have PDFs of all of it)

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  • 2 months later...

Welp, I've tried to incorporate that banner to the best of my (very limited) abilities. I'll just leave it as it is at this point, not worth fussing over. 

Edited by Mersery

"The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't."

 

 

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