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Protector (Memoirs of the Dead Entry)

lhikan contest kanohi dragon mangai Metru

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#1 Offline Codin the Fe-Matoran

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Posted Nov 23 2012 - 01:28 PM

Protector

Well… we won. Normally, I would not waste time carving this tablet. I enjoy history as much as the next Toa - it’s just that I can’t help but think my time and powers would be better spent elsewhere, as this vast city rebuilds itself after the great battle it just underwent. Alas, a Po-Matoran whom Turaga Dume has named Chronicler of the Toa has asked me to compile my thoughts about the past weeks, so that he may include them in the new Ta-Metru Wall of History. I have only recently returned from my journey with Naho and the others to the island of Xia, where we dropped off the subdued Kanohi Dragon. What the Xian natives plan to do with it, I have no idea. But like Tuyet suggested, they can always feed it to their other ‘pet’, the Mountain, if it proves too vicious even by Vortixx standards.

 

As we returned, we noticed that the island city of Metru Nui was in far better shape than it had been when we left. Already the southern half of Ta-Metru is almost rebuilt, after it was practically leveled by the Kanohi Dragon. Everyone’s shown so much teamwork. Even the Turaga has lent a hand where he could. Indeed, the Matoran here are truly blessed by the Great Spirit, for their leader is as wise as he is brave. These Matoran are unlike any I’ve seen. Their perseverance and creativity is unmatched by any I’ve known before.

 

I remember well the first time I met the then Toa Dume. I was a humble tinkerer and toolmaker on the western half of the Northern Continent, taking an unscheduled break from my duties and heading to the local lava river. In my haste, I failed to notice that the lavaboard I’d ‘borrowed’ from a friend’s cubby was so worn down that it was useless even as a waterboard. Of course, by the time I finally noticed I was in the middle of the river, speeding across molten magma. I would have been lava-bones for sure if Dume hadn’t seen me on his routine patrol of the Koro. He saved me, and evidently liked me, for he made me a Toa later on.

 

Looking back, my first thought when I received the summons from Dume via Vahki emissary was if the Turaga would remember me. I made my way north as fast as my Greatswords of Fire could fly, noticing familiar faces heading the same way, hitching a ride on the backs of their respective Vahki. Naho I already knew from my exploration of a small southern island, in search of the missing Makoki Stone. Tuyet I met while searching the far eastern part of the Northern continent and, knowing her, it was not surprising that she’d answered the call for Toa to aid Metru Nui. Nothing grabs Tuyet’s attention like the chance to smash some heads together. One other hero, a Toa of Air (Nidhiki, I believe he’d called himself), was new to me. I assume Nidhiki has a very troubled history, given by what little he’s shared. I wonder what his story is, and if he’ll ever trust me enough to tell me…The other seven Toa are a bit of a mystery, as I hadn’t the time to meet with them before the action.

 

Dume was lucky enough to find 4 Toa of Ice willing to answer the call and take on the Dragon. Without their power, we most certainly would not have defeated the great beast. One Toa that Dume was blessed by the Great Beings to have drafted was an experienced Toa of Fire. He was the last to answer the summons, and the only one that no one else knew prior to the forming of the team. He doesn’t talk much… hasn’t even told us his name yet. He wears armor of crimson and silver, and wears a Kanohi Kakama. His fighting skills were unmatched by any warrior of any race I have ever witnessed. He instantly reminded me of the commander of the old Tower of Toa, and behaves very much like him as well. He probably would have made a better leader than I, but for some reason he insisted that I head the new team. Nidhiki suggested that he might make the best leader, but a silent stare from our fiery new ally put a stop to all such thoughts.

 

And so we entered into the city of Metru Nui, some of us for the first time. After a standoff with three Dark Hunters in the Coliseum, our mission was made clear; find the beast and subdue it by any means possible, before it could cause further damage to the city. We found the Dragon perched atop the Great Furnace, its immense size making the colossal building seem like a village hut in comparison.

 

Then the battle began. One of our Toa of Ice impulsively sent a blast of snow and hail from his weapon, hitting the Dragon directly in the eye. The creature, enraged by the pain and cold, leaped down from the structure and sent a blast of orange fire at our icy partner. The Toa of Ice would’ve surely been incinerated had Nidhiki not whipped up a miniature cyclone from the tip of his Air Scythe and shoved him out of the way.

 

The battle quickly became a war, lasting over a month; every day fighting the dragon, wherever it tried to hide. In the course of that time, thousands of Vahki were destroyed along with much of Ta-Metru. Fortunately, in that time we all learned how to fight as a team - one of the few rewards that came of our victory. I have not the time to go into the details of all the conflicts, but it is worth noting that I now have new appreciation for the idea of having partners to fight beside you. Perhaps I’ll make a decent leader yet.

 

Now we at last have a moment to rest. Our Ice Toa are by far the worst for wear out of all of us. Their armor is almost black as soot from their efforts to encase the beast in ice. Turaga Dume suspects that Dark Hunters might have released the Dragon from its resting place as a way of convincing him that it was in his best interest to allow them into the city; to install a base here for Metru Nui’s ‘protection’ (Ironic that it was they who endangered us and Dume’s own Toa team that sealed the Dragon in ice in the first place). Knowing what the Dark Hunters have done for the sake of control in the past, I have no doubt we’ll be seeing more of them very soon.

 

Being a leader is not what I wanted, but it seems to be the position I’ve been tasked with. My new team is a good one. They are all excellent fighters, and seem to be getting along well enough. My fellow Toa and I agree that it would be wise to stay in the city and act as its permanent Toa team. Some of the more spirited Matoran have even given us the name “Toa Mangai”. Donning the title of protector may be the greatest honor any of us have ever received. Yes, I think we’ll stay here for a while. I have a feeling that a time will come when this city and its Matoran need all of us again. And by the Great Beings, I won’t let them down. I will never let my friends down again.

 

- Toa Mangai Lhikan

 

 This memoir was written by Colt McCoy, edited and submitted by moi because Colt is having some troubles with account access.

 

You can ask me any questions here in the topic but if you want to show the author some love, PM me for a link!

 

(I'm worried about linking to his account on a non-Lego site, seeing as I skipped over the forum policies on my way here :P )


Edited by bonesiii, May 01 2014 - 09:37 AM.
Format reconstructed after a BZP glitch. -bones

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"Danger is the anvil on which trust is forged." - Toa Jaller, Ex-Captain of the Ta-Koro Guard

#2 Offline Makuta Matata

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Posted Nov 24 2012 - 10:26 PM

This was good. I like this style...
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( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


#3 Offline Toa of Italy

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Posted Nov 25 2012 - 05:27 AM

The following comes from an authorized Contest Judge: At least one inaccuracy or error has been found in your entry. After reading this judge post, you are authorized to edit your entry to fix these errors. After editing to fix these things, please post in the entry topic saying what you changed.

I have only recently returned from my journey with Nidhiki, Naho, and the others to the island of Xia, where we dropped off the subdued Kanohi Dragon.

We actually know from Legacy of Evil that Nidhiki and some other Toa remained behind to guard the city while Lhikan and some others were taking the dragon to Xia.

Looking back, my first thought when I received the summons from Dume via Vahki emissary was if the Turaga would remember me. I made my way north as fast as my Greatswords of Fire could fly, noticing familiar faces heading the same way, hitching a ride on the backs of their respective Vahki. Naho I already knew from my exploration of a small southern island, in search of the missing Makoki Stone. Tuyet I met while searching the far eastern part of the Northern continent and, knowing her, it was not surprising that she’d answered the call for Toa to aid Metru Nui. Nothing grabs Tuyet’s attention like the chance to smash some heads together. Three other heroes, a Toa of Earth, a Toa of Stone, and Toa of Air (Nidhiki, I believe he’d called himself), were new to me. I assume Nidhiki has a very troubled history, given by what little he’s shared. I wonder what his story is, and if he’ll ever trust me enough to tell me…The other seven Toa are a bit of a mystery, as I hadn’t the time to meet with them before the action.

Lhikan, Tuyet, Naho, Nidhiki, Toa of Earth, Toa of Stone + 7 other Toa makes 13. But the Toa Mangai were only eleven. I think you should either reduce the number or erase the reference to to the Toa of Earth and Stone above.I didn't find any grammar mistakes, so that's all. The fact that it was Dume's team who first imprisoned the dragon isn't confirmed, but neither denied, so I can't consider it a canon discrepancy.

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#4 Offline Codin the Fe-Matoran

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Posted Nov 25 2012 - 12:54 PM

Changes I will make:

I have only recently returned from my journey with Nidhiki, Naho, and the others to the island of Xia, where we dropped off the subdued Kanohi Dragon.Will become:I have only recently returned from my journey with Naho and the others to the island of Xia, where we dropped off the subdued Kanohi Dragon.

Three other heroes, a Toa of Earth, a Toa of Stone, and Toa of Air (Nidhiki, I believe he’d called himself), were new to me. I assume Nidhiki has a very troubled history, given by what little he’s shared. I wonder what his story is, and if he’ll ever trust me enough to tell me…Will become:One other hero, a Toa of Air (Nidhiki, I believe he’d called himself), was new to me. I assume Nidhiki has a very troubled history, given by what little he’s shared. I wonder what his story is, and if he’ll ever trust me enough to tell me…

 Thanks for the feedback!And to Makuta Matata, Colt appreciates the compliment. Thank you!

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"Danger is the anvil on which trust is forged." - Toa Jaller, Ex-Captain of the Ta-Koro Guard

#5 Offline TLhikan

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Posted Dec 22 2012 - 11:33 AM

The following comes from an authorized Contest Judge: No inaccuracies or errors were found in your entry. Unless another judge or member finds a problem later, your entry is likely to go on to the polls.

 

-TLhikan


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"So I'm TL now?"
"Yeah, 'cuz if we said it the other way it'd have to be TLhiKHAAN!!"


#6 Offline X-Ray

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Posted Jan 28 2013 - 06:05 PM

[font="'trebuchet ms', helvetica, sans-serif;"][color=#008080;]This is a well written entry in this S&T contest. Lhikan's voice is easy to hear in your writing, and his account of this incident is a fascinating read. I congratulate you for giving new information on how Lhikan became a Toa, and Dume's history. I also liked the window of insight into Lhikan's personality, in that this story represents him as not quite yet the ideal hero that we all know and love, but nonetheless on his way there. I also found it hard to believe that Lhikan was able to work with this Toa of Fire guy without even knowing his name. I only other thing I seek from this story is more of it- it is somewhat short. Nevertheless, I wish the writer luck in this contest.[/color][/font]

 

[font="'trebuchet ms', helvetica, sans-serif;"][color=#008080;] :akaku: X-Ray :akaku:[/color][/font]


Edited by X-Ray, Jan 28 2013 - 06:15 PM.

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#7 Offline fishers64

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Posted Aug 21 2013 - 01:36 PM

The following comes from an authorized Contest Judge: At least one inaccuracy or error has been found in your entry. After reading this judge post, you are authorized to edit your entry to fix these errors. After editing to fix these things, please post in the entry topic saying what you changed.

 

Normally, I would not waste time carving this tablet.[...] Alas, a Po-Matoran whom Turaga Dume has named Chronicler of the Toa has asked me to compile my thoughts about the past weeks, so that he may include them in the new Ta-Metru Wall of History.
 
It's traditional for Chroniclers to record thoughts for Toa on tablets, not do it themselves for Chroniclers. I would clarify why the Po-Matoran Chronicler didn't sit down and take dictation for Lhikan instead of having Lhikan carve the tablet himself. 
 
Other than that, you're good. :) 

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14126183966_9690cb0da3_z.jpg


#8 Offline bonesiii

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Posted May 26 2014 - 03:09 PM

It appears all issues other than the one fishers raised in the above post have been fixed. I would not call that an issue myself, as it's plausible a Chronicler may ask somebody to write their own content if they feel up to it, though the Chronicler may then rewrite it. If the author wants to change it as suggested above though that would work too.

Anywho, I'm calling this good to go to the polls. However, the author is still invited to make edits to fix anything further that's brought up and approved for editing by a judge. If the entry wins we can worry about making any further edits with special approval then.

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